off blog topic – a Tribute to Leonard Nimoy February 27, 2016Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things.
It is one year since Leonard Nimoy has passed away. It is so hard to believe that he is not with us anymore. My loss is from a fan’s point of view. My personal life goes on, pretty much unaffected. His family and friends, of course have a different loss. And I extend my good wishes to them.
Now everyone knows I have a raging fantasy crush on the fictional character Mr. Spock. But I have also always had a deep admiration for the man behind the ears, Leonard Nimoy. Since August 1966, when I first saw a commercial for “the new and exciting science fiction show, Star Trek, coming this fall on NBC,” and I saw Mr. Spock – my heart just went pitter-patter.
As the show’s episodes aired, and we viewers saw more of Mr. Spock, and the man Leonard Nimoy became known to the public, I was hopelessly and still am, in “crush” with the two. I have no answers as to how and why a 14 year old girl falls in “love” with a fictional character that isn’t even alive.
After Star Trek, Mr. Nimoy joined the TV show Mission Impossible, and then started to do some movies: Catlow, Baffled, Assault on the Wayne, and others. In the early 70’s his hobbies came to the fore, with him publishing his photographs and poetry. He wrote a one-man play “Vincent,” about the life of artist Vincent van Gogh. Also in the 70’s, he hosted a syndicated show called “In Search Of,” about unexplained phenomena. He also did regional theatre, playing Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof, and King Arthur in Camelot.
In the 70’s I became a member of his official fan club, The Leonard Nimoy Association of Fans, and through the club, I purchased a few of his photographs that he matted and signed for us fans. Those and his books of poetry are among my most treasured possessions.
I was fortunate to meet and speak with him a few times. He was always so warm and gracious. The last time was May 19, 2003, when he was doing a book tour of his book Shekhina. My late friend, Michelene Biber and I, ran a small Star Trek discussion group, The USS Ari, at the time, and we presented Mr. Nimoy with a “Friends of the Ari” certificate that Michelle put together. He got a kick out of it.
Leonard Nimoy was much more than Mr. Spock of Star Trek. He was an actor, a photographer, a poet, a writer, a musician, a singer, he directed and produced some movies. He was also a deeply spiritual man.
When I spoke to him in May 2003 I told him how much I admired the quote he chose as the foreword to his Shekhina book. He said (paraphrase) “Isn’t that the most profound and beautiful thing you ever heard?”
That quote is: “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience,” by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.
Mr. Nimoy left us a year ago today to continue a new phase of his spiritual journey. Godspeed Mr. Nimoy.
–Ruth Pace, February 27, 2016
Resistance to facts is futile.If you can’t accept the facts about my life, then by all means – leave this blog. September 7, 2012Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things.
Tags: adoption, First Amendment: Free Speech, LIBEL, stupidity
“As I have said more than once, my postings are an invitation to understand, not an invitation to argue” – David Gerrold.
Saturday, September 8, is the 46th anniversary of Star Trek. But this post is not about Star Trek, only in passing.
I had the pleasure of meeting David Gerrold and getting his autograph at one of the first Star Trek conventions in New York, either 1973 or 1974. And I’ve had the privilege the past couple of years to have him as a facebook buddy. David is the inventor of those fuzzy little creatures called Tribbles, and he has written other things too. You can see his stuff at his home page at www.gerrold.com
David is always writing interesting things to get his readers to think about political issues, personal growth, human and civil rights. He passes himself off as a grumpy old man, but I’m not sure that’s the case at all. I think that he, like me and Gert, has a low tolerance for bullshit and stupidity. I’m constantly learning from him.
I’m not a paid professional writer, but I do like to write. I’ve got my blogs, and I do write for the newsletter for my local Star Trek group, the USS Ari. A couple of things that I learned from David about writing: get your science right and do your research. If you don’t have your science right and your facts straight, you may as well chuck your piece in the garbage. David recently posted that 90% of what he does as a writer is RESEARCH.
And this is what we’ve been saying all along – and especially in my post about Joan writing about my childhood neighborhood and indeed, about Buffalo’s East Side. click here. What she saw in the 1970’s was NOT the way it was in the 1950’s! And her silly friend Brian, who trashed my father for relinquishing Joan for adoption in 1956, while he didn’t do the same for his children in 1994 made the same mistake. To compare American society of 1956 to American society of 1994 is a fatal mistake. And the ages of the children were completely different. Brian’s youngest child was 10 years old, while Joan was a newborn.
Brian made the mistake of not doing his research. Were there daycare centers in 1956? No. What was the welfare system back then? Not much help. Did my father have relatives able to help out with the raising of his children? No.
Most of Joan’s supporters also failed to do their research. In 2006, when her buddy Rene Hoksbergen wrote the foreword to her slanderous book, he failed to get all the facts from her. She showed him a manuscript that was NOT the final product. The final product contained a huge lie about me and him. Now, this adoption expert and author has egg on his face. He was told way back in 1993 to keep his nose out of our family business. He didn’t listen.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – if Joan has the freedom of speech to write a lie about me, then I have the freedom of speech to correct that lie and tell the truth about me. That is what this blog is all about. As well as Gert’s blog.
Joan tells her readers of her now dead book and on her website and various internet forums all these horror stories about her birth sisters – but never backs up her stories with any documented proof. This blog has been in existence since late November 2009 and I have provided actual court documents and letters to prove that what I say is the truth.
If people don’t like what I write on my blog about MY OWN CHILDHOOD and post court documents from the City Court of Buffalo they can just leave and don’t come back. Because as David said on facebook today: “As I have said more than once, my postings are an invitation to understand, not an invitation to argue.”
This blog is an invitation to know the truth behind a libelous book, and not an invitation to argue with me.
– gratitude extended to David, who graciously gave me permission to use his quote. I owe him hugs, kisses, and a big box of chocolate!
- 1. gertmcqueen – September 7, 2012
Ruth…you did it again!! excellent observations!
When people refuse to let go of their ‘pet theories’ and ‘get with the program’ they are doomed! I’ve seen this time and time again, over the years..I have had far more formidable opponents than Joan Wheeler and Brian Maloney and they, like Joan and Brian didNOT do their homework and therefore lost.
I suggest that every adoptee out there that feels that Ruth and Gert are causing trouble for poor misunderstood adoptee called Joan Wheeler, they really ought to read each and every post on our blogs; there are years worth. Sure such a venture would require some patience because many posts are hard to get through because of our own frustations of having to deal with an mental nut case who speaks without engaging the brain and many who believe her to be the second coming of the savior and, as in the case of Brian, who must be getting far more out of his association with Joan than what she has to offer…anyone, seems to be totally misinformed about anything!
I am not interested in arguments, been there done that. I am interested in getting Joan Wheeler mouth CLOSED. You don’t like that…tough shit!
What in the world is Blue Plague? August 30, 2012Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things.
There is a website out there called The Blue Plague. I haven’t looked at everything there. I couldn’t get past the first page. Such dribble. And with glaring mistakes! Give a lookee:
The Blue Plague is a devastating illness attacking children. Some say it is being deliberately spread by The U, S, Gov.
Perhaps a possibility, or perhaps it may be accidental.
People in all states have been involved in its spreading
This website is to inform, stop the plague, and save children.
WHAT IS THE BLUE PLAGUE AND WHERE DID IT COME FROM?
Inbreeding with close blood relatives causes mental problems in children going down blood lines
Inbreeding Egyptian Pharos kept power in their families. Egypt collapsed from within do to mental handicaps in Dynasty families. The knowledge of it all “Was Hidden.”
Roman Rulers copied Egyptian inbreeding to keep control within their families. The Roman rulers became damaged, Roam Fell, Knowledge “Was Hidden.”
European Monarchs copied the Roman inbreeding practices. Children were born dead blue. Which is where the term “Blue Blood” came from. The knowledge “Was Hidden.”
Collapsing governments caused the Dark Ages. Lords, “Bestowed Their Gifts” into peasant brides. Resulting children went by peasant names, that did not match their true blood lines. Inbreeding ran ramped, hence the term, “Mad Dogs and Englishmen.”
The Blue Plague is coming to America. Southern Plantation Masters copied the Lords Sport. The Plague was contained within slave quarters, as in European Places, and “Hidden.”
The Civil War freed the slaves, and The Blue Plague spread throughout America.
Mormon’s fathered towns, The Plague spread through children’s limited mating choices
The Orphan Train changed children’s names, causing unknown interbreeding.
Using The Orphan Train as the example, The U. S. Gov. created The Uniform Adoption Act mandating adoptee’s birth records be sealed. The Blue Plague spread.
I see no conspiracy, just ignorance from “Hiding Knowledge” to avoid embarrassment, leading to nearly two hundred years of entrapping all on a path to destruction.
So I left this comment: Knowledge should be exposed. yes – so I am sharing knowledge with you – “do” to? – that should be “due” Rome is not spelled Roam – U, S, – use periods, not commas. When the Southern plantation owners bred with the slaves, they actually introduced NEW (African) genes into the white gene pool – so that blows your theory away. your last sentance contradicts your entire post – “two hundred years” – when you previously stated it happened thousands of years ago. If you want to be taken seriously, write your essay seriously. By the way, Blue Babies are blue because their lungs are not developed and they are lacking oxygen. It has nothing to do with their mental capabilites. It is called hypoxic.
Honestly, if people want to be taken seriously, they really should present their material in a serious way. Perhaps he was watching the Smurf’s episode “The Blue Plague.” – Ever notice that there is only ONE female Smurf? ONE FEMALE TO DO ALL THE BREEDING! Talk about inbreeding!
a revised (slightly) version of my poem about Isabella August 29, 2012Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things.
In my post candle light vigil for a little girl held in Cheektowaga, Tuesday night, August 28, 2012 – a report on the vigil I attended for the 5 year old girl beaten to death by a 16 year old punk, I included a poem I wrote. I want to change my poem a little bit here’s the original:
Isabella, Isabella, an angel now you are. I’ve given you a magical unicorn to take you near and far.
Chocolate chip cookies will be your daily fare with stardust and fairydust trailing from your hair.
Up in heaven you now live, to be with you, all that Crystal has, she would give.
It was Bella’s time you see, A lesson to be learned by our whole community.
Children are killing children, by guns, by hands. Reverence for Life is what we all must understand.
Okay, here is my revision, and I think the cadence is a bit better.
Isabella, Isabella, an angel now you are. I’ve given you a magic unicorn to take you near and far.
Chocolate chip cookies will be your daily fare with stardust and fairydust trailing from your hair.
Up in heaven you now live, to be with you, all that Crystal has, she would gladly give.
It was Bella’s time you see, A lesson to be learned by our whole community.
Children are killing children, by guns, by hands. Reverence for Life is what we all must now understand.
Blue plague? smurfs or andorians? August 29, 2012Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things.
Joan Wheeler has a new passion – a website that promotes nonsense called Blue Plague –
I wouldn’t mind blueness from sexy Commander Shran or his alter ego Jeffrey Combs.
candle light vigil for a little girl held in Cheektowaga, Tuesday night, August 28, 2012 August 29, 2012Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things.
tonight, Tuesday, August 27, I took part of sad gathering – a candlelight vigil for a 5 year old girl who was beaten to death by a 16 year old with his bare hands. Then he called a friend to help dispose of the body in a damn garbage can. – I stopped at Dollar General and bought a candle – chocolate chip scented. And I found a little ceramic angel and a little stuffed unicorn that I placed on the table that had pictures of her. What a sweet little child. No, I never met this little girl, Isabella. I never met her mother Crystal. But I am so outraged at the evil. And as a mother who lost her child (thru miscarriage in 1985) – I am a sister-in-grief to Crystal.
After everyone had a chance to sign a remembrance book and get their candles ready – we all lit our candles at exactly 10pm. Crystal wasn’t there, nor was she at the larger vigil that was held in the city of Niagara Falls (where Isabella’s young life was snuffed out) on Monday night. Other family members were there. Prayers were said, Amazing Grace was sung. Then several paper Chinese lanterns were lit and they soared up into the sky, crossing in front of the near full moon. I was struck by the beauty of it. Local television stations were there, WIVB, Channel 4 carried live for their 10pm news. I wasn’t near any of the reporters, so I don’t know what was said. I’ll see it tomorrow either on tv or on Ch 4’s website or their facebook page. – I left a couple of announcements about the vigil on my twitter – @ruthsippelpace and facebook –http://facebook.com/RuthSippelPace
Isabella, Isabella, an angel now you are. I’ve given you a magical unicorn to take you near and far. Chocolate chip cookies will be your daily fare with stardust and fairydust trailing from your hair.
Up in heaven you now live, to be with you, all that Crystal has, she would give. It was Bella’s time you see, A lesson to be learned by our whole community.
Children are killing children, by guns, by hands. Reverence for Life is what we all must understand.
I’ve revised (slightly) my poem. Here it is:
Isabella, Isabella, an angel now you are.
I’ve given you a magic unicorn to take you near and far.
Chocolate chip cookies will be your daily fare
with stardust and fairydust trailing from your hair.
Up in heaven you now live,
to be with you, all that Crystal has, she would gladly give.
It was Bella’s time you see,
A lesson to be learned by our whole community.
Children are killing children, by guns, by hands.
Reverence for Life is what we all must now understand.
Farewell to my hero – Neil Armstrong August 27, 2012Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things.
Tags: Apollo program, NASA, Neil Armstrong, Royal Guardsmen, Smallest Astronaut
dedicated to NEIL ARMSTRONG – my hero –
this song came out duirng the Apollo moon landing in 1969
“tell the world the universe belongs to us today.” –
Tranquility Base out.
A Special Announcement June 27, 2012Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things.
off blog topic:
I want to make a special announcement – this Friday, June 29, 2012, will be the last day my wonderful husband John Pace is going to work. As of 6pm, he will be retired. After enlisting in the Navy and serving six years in Viet Nam as a Navy Seal, John had worked for several companies, including Chess King and Thom McAm. He is now leaving his job at Uncle Sam’s Army Navy Surplus Store.
He has worked hard his entire life and deserves this retirement. I congratulate him.
Last Leaf of Autumn November 3, 2011Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things, Lessons in Life.
totally off blog topic.
I wanted to blog yesterday, but was done in by errands, shopping, and the need to leave my van at the mechanic’s. hopefully it won’t cost me an arm and a leg to get it fixed. Life really sucks sometimes.
when this stuff happens, there’s nothing you can do but regroup. here’s a beautiful piece of music – The Last Leaf of Autumn by Grant Wilson. – enjoy. the link will take you to a myspace page – I hope the link works – and just click on the play button.
we paranormal investigators are people with many interests and talents. We don’t get ourselves stuck in one little groove of life – why would anyone do that? There is so much out there to learn – to enjoy – to discover! Anyone who has only one interest in life is a very boring person.
Can’t Joan Wheeler EVER find Joy in her Life? – Motherhood, Baby Bracelets, and Remembrances July 6, 2011Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
Tags: adoption, baby bracelets, death and grieving, loss of loved ones, whining
Introduction by Ruth Sippel Pace
On June 28, 2011, Joan writes a piece on her blog about her finding her baby bracelet. Now yes, I can understand under the circumstances that this event would evoke some strong emotions in her. This was the first time in her 55 years of life that she EVER saw that bracelet. And yes, it would bring to surface feelings of loss of her birth mother and questions of why her adoptive mother never gave her the bracelet, considering that Joan was reunited in 1974 with her birth family.
In Joan’s book Forbidden Family, Joan takes the liberty of editorializing about my life and my sisters’ lives. Which has nothing whatever to do with adoption, adoption reunion or adoption reform. Since Joan can editorialize on our lives, we do the same to her life. This is our commentary on that blog post.
We start out with Gert McQueen’s thoughts.
Why does Joan Wheeler feel the constant need to tell the entire world about her ‘loss’? Is Joan Wheeler the only one who ever lost a mother to illness and death? Is she the only one who ever was adopted?
Joan is not the only person who has the right to mourn and remember a baby bracelet, a adoptive mother and a dying natural mother! That dying mother had 4 other children who had also worn baby bracelets and who KNEW the adoptive mother and father who RAISED their blood sibling. So, yes before anyone starts to complain about my speaking on this issue…I have a vested interested in ANYTHING that is said by JOAN about MY MOTHER.
Scary…you don’t know what scary is…
Truth…you don’t want to know the truth, for the truth scares you…
If a person does not have any kind of a life…who lives in their own inner world of their own making…who has a history of subjectifying everything, making everyone fit into their own inner world and puts words and thoughts into other people’s mouths to make them fit their own view of life…the truth can be very very scary. To make matters worst, a person who doesn’t have a life and who does all this…is a very scary person because they WANT and NEED others to know that they are a NOTHING. They are looking for sympathy, they are not looking to get a life but only to sustain the fantasies they have and to continue to place the blame on others and are always looking for proof that it is because of others that they have a miserable life.
On June 28 Joan Wheeler wrote: (her statements in purple):
….My adoptive mother died a few months ago. I have been slowly going through her belongings. Deciding what to keep and what to give away is a very difficult task.
Gert says: and Joan is the only person that has ever had this difficult task to do…duh!!! its bloody obvious! Instead why doesn’t Joan write a memory boast for the adoptive mother who gave much to Joan.
….I had already generally gone through a box of my mother’s old jewelry and set it aside for the ‘give away’ pile. But a relative who was with me took a second look. She found a small plastic bag with a string of beads. She pulled it out and said, ‘This looks like a baby bracelet.’
Gert says: treasures are always found upon a death…but… this may be the beginning of another book that Joan is writing…let’s see, she spend about 35 years of her life writing that first book of lies and it’s been pulled for libelous materials so she had better start composing another book of her views and opinions.
….I immediately swung around as my relative placed the beaded bracelet in my hands. I recognized the initials and last name as that of my natural mother. The beads were pink, this was my baby bracelet worn in the hospital after my birth.
Gert says: And here we see the first signs of drama…she ‘immediately swung around’…boy isn’t that something…the drama the sense of shock and awe that someone said ”This looks like a baby bracelet”! Okay, sure happening upon such a find can be a bit jarring, but does it have to have so much melodrama? And, why is this find something that the world NEEDS to know about?
….How could I have missed this when going through the box the first time?
Gert says: Is this important somehow? No, it’s for dramatic emphasis.
….More importantly, why was this the first time I had seen this bracelet? My adoptive mother kept it in her jewelry box since bringing me home on April 22, 1956, four months after my birth. My natural father had given her this bracelet, along with my clothes and birth certificate and baptismal certificate. Why did my adoptive mother keep this bracelet all these years? She surely could have given it to me during the course of my reunion with my natural family from 1974 onward. But I discovered it and reclaimed it a few months after her death.
Gert says: This is a total buildup and a continuation of the same of rap/storyline that Joan has against the adoptive mother. ‘More importantly’ means that this is Joan’s EVIDENCE against the adoptive mother…she kept this item away from Joan all of Joan’s life…it is an indictment against the adoptive mother. And she wants everyone to GET IT that the adoptive mother kept the bracelet from Joan ‘all these years’. And she wants everyone to know that the adoptive mother had ample time to give it to her…since 1974. But only upon death does Joan get it and Joan is pissed! That is why she has to write this…
Gosh perhaps the poor woman, the adoptive mother, had her own reasons. A parent does NOT have to explain everything to the child. This is basically Joan’s beef…that the adoptive parents lied to her, kept secrets from her…well maybe they had reasons…it is NOT up to the child to know every atom of the parents’ mind. (Ruth’s note: I know for a FACT that there were things that Joan herself did NOT share with her own daughter – things that she SHOULD have – for all of Joan’s whining that adoptees should know their complete medical background, and Joan was going around for years to various family gatherings (of her birth family and extended birth family) and collecting this information, SHE NEVER SHARED IT WITH HER DAUGHTER! I got an email via myspace and my niece was asking me questions about MY medical background, and my sisters’! So don’t be throwing stones at your amother Joan, because YOU have withheld things from your own birth daughter!)
Any way, Joan now has the bracelet…she ought to be glad…but…she isn’t.
….This is yet another reminder that for all I know about my birth and my adoption I shall never really know my life. I was a baby born to a dying mother. I was dying at birth. The conditions and events that surrounded the people who took care of me, especially my natural father, were tense. My future hung in the balance until my mother died. Nearly a month later, my father handed me to another couple to raise as their daughter. I grew up the only child of this couple. My former life ceased to exist.
Gert says: what Joan sees is just a reminder that she ‘shall never really know my life’ (her life). Here’s a news flash…I DON’T KNOW ALL OF MY LIFE and neither does anyone else. What part of Joan’s life does she not know that she didn’t know before she finds a baby bracelet? I didn’t have items of my infancy until I was an adult…neither did my children. Some people NEVER get those items. Joan ought to be glad to have the bracelet, NOW and give THANKS to the adoptive mother who kept it for her.
Joan’s sense of drama is scary!! She was born to a dying mother and Joan was dying at birth!! What bullshit! Here’s the TRUTH…Joan was born 7 weeks premature and was placed in an incubator! Our mother had been very sick in late Dec of 1955 and was in the hospital for complete bed rest. On Jan 7, 1956 mother went into premature labor. After having had four kids she knew the labor pains, rang for the nurse, but by the time the nurse got there, the baby had come. They cut the cord and placed the baby in the incubator. Joan was there for 6 weeks. Mother’s ovarian and uterine cancer wasn’t discovered until after the baby was born, nothing could be done for her and she died 3 months later.
But, Joan has to tell everything in great melodramatic terms and as she does so, she alters things, she puts conditions upon the players in her story…but the TRUTH is…she has NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED because she was an infant and is relying on hearsay and conjuncture. No one KNEW her mother was dying at the time of Joan’s birth! Joan herself was NOT DYING AT BIRTH. So conditions around the event were tense…does that make Joan unique? And what about ME AND MY BROTHER AND SISTERS…were we NOT AFFECTED?
We have as much right to state OUR TRUTH, OUR VERSION AND OUR OPINIONS when it comes to anyone talking about OUR MOTHER!
But Joan is only concerned about ‘her future…that hung in the balance’…she doesn’t give a damn about her siblings and how THEIR future also hung in the balance.
She ‘grew up the only child of this couple. My former life ceased to exist’…yep…it’s all about Joan!
….I hold this bracelet now as a mere portion of my life before adoption. Those six weeks I lay in an incubator, clinging to life, this is what this bracelet symbolizes for me. It’s not my name on the bracelet, it’s my mother’s name, for I am my mother’s daughter and this is the way the hospital knew I belonged to her. My birth and those first few weeks of my life were not happy moments.
Gert says: Just because a baby is in an incubator does not mean they are clinging to life. My second child was in an incubator, my half-brother was in an incubator…many children have been in incubators…that’s normal procedure for early births…there was NOTHING unusual about Joan’s early birth…its only in Joan’s mind. No, the illness and death of our mother is not a happy occasion but that’s the way it was and is and we learn to accept those circumstances of our own birth and the dying of our parents. If us siblings have learned to live with that loss why can’t Joan? Because she HATES THE FACT THAT SHE WAS ADOPTED.
….As I clear thorough the belongings of one mother recently deceased, I am reminded of another mother who died long ago. Her death changed the course of my life.
Joan ought to give thanks and memory to the woman who just died and to the woman who died long ago…but she hasn’t done so. All she can say is HOW those events changed the course of HER LIFE. Joan is so self-centered that she can’t give one second, one word of thanks to these two women, who gave her life and subsistence
….My baby bracelet brought me, not a moment of happiness, but a day of mourning of loss.
Joan can not find one moment of happiness that Mother gave her life. All Joan can see is mourning and loss.
When I think of my mother, who died when I was nine, I don’t always feel sad for myself. I feel sad for the woman who died and about how much life SHE DID NOT get to live! (Ruth’s note: EXACTLY! When we lose a loved one, yes, we grieve them. Our tears are shed for us, because of the empty hole in our lives, and how we will miss them. Because grief is the price we pay for having loved someone. But then we need to think about the person who just died – are they in a better place? Or, in the case of Genevieve Herr Sippel – she never got to experience the joy of seeing her daughters get married. She never got to celebrate first womanhood with Gert, Kathy and me. She never got to see her son be a proud altar boy at Sacred Heart Church, or experience pride in seeing him graduate from boot camp and become a Marine! Genevieve never got to hold her grandchildren! Because in the long run – the death is about THEM, not about US.)
Joan ought to give thanks for the life she was given and start to live that life before she finds herself on her own deathbed…alone…because there will be no one there for her because of all the lies she has told and all the misery she had heaped upon those that are blood.
So I close this by giving thanks…to Dorothy Wheeler, who recently died, who adoptive my blood sister and took care of her. I also give thanks to Genevieve Herr Sippel, my mother, who also gave birth to Joan, and who is REPRESENTED by that baby bracelet.
The bracelet is NOT ABOUT JOAN BUT ABOUT MOTHERHOOD!
That’s the truth and it’s scary!
Ruth’s additional comments:
Yes, we other children of Genevieve also lost our mother. Where was MY mother on MY wedding day? Was she there to pin the tiny silk roses in my hair? Gert’s granddaughter did my hair for me and pinned roses in my hair. My mother did not.
Where was Gert’s mother when she got married? Where was Kathy’s and Len’s mom when they got married. Our father’s second wife also died, leaving behind two sons – where was THEIR mother when they got married?
As to motherhood – little Saied Ali never got a chance to even wear a baby bracelet. His mother never got a chance to even see him – because she miscarried him. But his mother still remembers him – from June 5, 1985. Saied is always in my heart. Because I am his mother.
But – do you see us whine about our losses? Yes, we still feel the pain. But we do NOT wallow in it. It took me two years of mourning my son to be able to walk through a department store and not break down when I passed through the infant department. It doesn’t bother me anymore. Just a few years ago, when my nephew in Chicago and his wife had a baby girl – I ran right to JC Penney’s and got the cutest damned little denim playset. When a girl I used to babysit had her daughter two years ago – again I ran to JC Penney’s (yes, my favorite store) and got her a beautiful little ballerina outfit. And by the way, I don’t quite remember what I bought Joan’s daughter – who was born just 16 months after her cousin Saied died – but I know I bought her something. And I was the one who drove Joan and her home from the hospital and held her in my arms. I mourned the loss of my son – but celebrated the birth of my niece.
And that’s what life is all about – mourn your losses, yes – honor those who left you. But life goes on. My mother in law is sitting on a shelf in a bookcase in my living room. Well, her ashes, actually. – Only two feet from my husband’s easy chair. We have her picture up. Along with the picture of my mother, and my brother and cousin who died just weeks after my mother in law. We even have a picture of my first husband who died a week and a half before my brother. I haven’t gotten around to putting up a picture of my father yet – I’m still a bit raw yet.
Both my husband and I honor these people. And yet, there are times in my busy life, that I am just going about my life and don’t even think about them. Because life goes on. I got things to do. Like going to my job, and other things. I don’t sit and wallow and think about my mother every dam day of my life. Hey – I got a real rotten shaft in life you know – I lost my f’ing mother when I was three and a half years old. Because my stepmother was sick, I got stuck in an children’s home for a year, then in a foster home. Then my father bought a house and got us kids together – but he worked two jobs. I never saw him. We teenagers had assigned jobs to do – Gert had married already, but Kathy did the cooking, I did the laundry, the boys did the outdoor work – and we all chipped in to do dishes, vacuuming, dusting etc.
Then I grew up and found a wonderful man – but geez, I couldn’t get pregnant! After several years of trying I finally did get pregnant, but what happens? I lose him! WTF? – AND on top of that – this was just at the time my ex and I broke up! And he had gone back to his home country overseas. I didn’t even have the father of my child to help me through my loss. I did it all on my own. And then I found love in a man who had already been a good friend of mine for 9 years. We moved in together in 1987 and have been together ever since. And I could never get pregnant again.
So what do I do every May on Mother’s Day? Through my whole life I never had a MOM to buy cards for. Now, I don’t a have CHILD to buy cards for me. Oh boo, hoo, poor Ruth. BULLSHIT! I just get on with life. Because I am enriched in my life. I get cards from other people. I get calls from Gert’s daughter all the time on Mother’s Day and my birthday. My nephew – well, as a member of the male gender – this kind of stuff goes over his head. But I’ve gotten some nice messages of love from him – when his male genes let down their guard and he remembers he has an aunt that he’d better f’ing call!
The point is of this whole long piece here is this: Joan – get the hell off your ass and LIVE! Stop the damn whining already. Stop obsessing with DEATH and get out and enjoy the sunshine! Good Lord! Even Helen Keller said “Look towards the sun and not the shadows.” And she was BLIND and DEAF!
The fact that Joan at the age of 55 is still WHINING about herself being in an incubator as a baby shows us that she is a very very scary person. As Gert points out – her daughter was in an incubator too. I have NEVER heard my niece WHINE about it. NEVER!
For someone at the age of 55 years old to be still whining about it, or even whining at all about is truly scary.
Tags: NASA, shuttle Endeavour, space program
by Ruth Pace
I was experimenting, and now I know how to embed videos directly into posts. You learn something new everyday. And if you’re not, you’re stagnating. Dr. Wayne Dyer calls it inerita caused by depression. Where you sit and do NOTHING. Or you sit and whine and whine and whine. Whining is NOT a solution. Panic is where you’re treading water and don’t know what to do. This is Joan. Panic and Whining about her sorry life. And instead of taking up her bootstraps and making a life for herself, she writes a 600 plus page book that BLAMES everyone in her life of how sorry her sad life is. She doesn’t take one ounce of self-responsibility for her own life! WTF?
I’m pissed because of changes in my job – we may be going on strike in a week. Like a good fighting AMERICAN, I’m doing something about it, not whining. I didn’t like the way Joan lied about me and my family in her book Forbidden Family, so I started this blog to get the truth out. And it took us several months of talks with the publisher, but we accomplished our goal: WE GOT THAT TRASHY BOOK PULLED OFF THE MARKET!
What’s Joan done? Nothing but go on an adoptee forum and whine about how tough her life is, and ask others to come over to this blog and give us hell. Why? Why can’t Joan speak for herself? Because she’s a LOSER! She’s wallowing in poverty because she never would get off her ass and get a job. Now she’s too old to work. She says she’s disabled now. She has allergies and IBS. So do I. AND I have scoliosis (curvature of the spine) – I was born with it. Yet I have a job that requires heavy lifting. AND now I have arthritis in my spine. BUT I’m still at my job and doing it, despite the same physical ailments that Joan has, PLUS chronic back pain. what a wuss Joan is! (translation: LAZY!)
In writing about the birth of the American space program, Tom Wolfe showed us great American determination. In 1982 a movie was made of that book. It’s called The Right Stuff. I believe I have the right stuff. I know my sisters Gert and Kathy have it. I know that Joan does NOT have it. Teddy Roosevelt is puking in his grave to see an American act the way Joan does – whine, whine, whine.
What are the names of the shuttles? The prototype, named after the ship of Star Trek, Enterprise. Which means an act. Others are called Challenger, Discovery, Endeavour. All names of getting off your butt and doing what would make Teddy Roosevelt proud – being a person of action, no whine, but action!
I honor those of our early NASA days, from Chuck Yeager on down to the present – oh gods, how Yeager would PUKE if he saw the whining and hate on that forum! Go read his autobiography for an autobiography of an American who ACTED, not whined.
To our Mercury, Gemini, Apollo and Shuttle astronauts I say: a job well done! To those on the Hubble program I say also, a job well done! Onwards! – my first video – opening credits of Star Trek Enterprise. sung by Russell Watson. Good stuff in there – from Amelia Earhart, to the Wright Brothers, Charles Lindbergh, Alan Shepherd (Mercury astronaut) is in there, the pullout of the shuttle Enterprise, and other exciting inspirational events! The second video is of shuttle Endeavour. The 3rd video is a clip from the movie The Right Stuff – actor Sam Shepher plays Gen. Chuck Yeager – the old man behind the bar is the real Chuck Yeager – who first broke the sound barrier in 1947! Enjoy!
off topic – Prayers offered for Japan March 11, 2011Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things.
Offer up your prayers and candles for Japan
Victims of the earthquake and tsunami
and for Mother Gaia
Japanese for “blessings” – wishing shukufuku for the Japanese people. One of my longtime dreams is to learn Japanese. This is a start.
a painting of Japanese chrysantemums, the symbol of the Imperial family of Japan
Tags: harassment of an adoptee's birth family
the following didn’t show up as I had hoped. but it’s a cute little game. Perhaps Joan should play it and get her f’ing frustrations of life out in a healthy way instead of putting slanderous and filthy lies about her birth sisters all over the internet
<table border=”2″ cellpadding=”5″ cellspacing=”45″ bordercolor=”#8FB2CE” background=”http://virtual-bubblewrap.com/images/bubblebadgebg.jpg” bgcolor=”#FFFFFF”><tr> <td valign=”middle” bgcolor=”#FFFFFF”><p align=”center”><font color=”#FF0000″><b>I pop bubble wrap at 1.80 bubbles per second!</b></font></p> <p align=”center”><font color=”#0033CC”>I popped 196 bubbles in 1 minute and 48.8 seconds<br /> at <a href=”www.Virtual-Bubblewrap.com!http://www.virtual-bubblewrap.com”><b>www.Virtual-Bubblewrap.com</b></a>!<br />Can you beat my score?</font></p></td></tr></table>
The Power of Words by Dick Sutphen; submitted by Ruth Pace February 18, 2011Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things, Lessons in Life.
Tags: Dick Sutphen, power of words
THE POWER OF WORDS
by Dick Sutphen
Funny how a few words can change your life. I am writing this in a restaurant, a couple hours before conducting a workshop. Looking at the menu, I contemplate the cheeseburger, a chicken pasta plate and broiled fish with fresh vegetables.
Words ring through my mind: “Every time you decide what to eat, you are choosing life or death.”
The cheeseburger is hormones and red meat. Pasta is white flour. Fish and veggies win.
Because I am eating alone and have nothing better to do, I start to think about other words that have changed my life.
Whenever you are upset with anyone else, you are seeking approval or control. (You desired the other person to approve of your actions, or you were trying to control their actions or reactions. When you didn’t get what you wanted, you got upset. Your expectations were in conflict with what is.)
Everything you say, with the exception of some statements of fact, and some legitimate questions, is an attempt to make yourself more important or to obtain sympathy.
It is your resistance to what is that causes your suffering.
Argue for your limitations and they shall be yours. (Richard Bach)
Where do your words not match your deeds?
Your body believes everything you say, so watch your words. (Patti Conklin)
When you act with intention you create karma.
Wisdom erases karma.
There is nothing that cannot be healed by love.
One of the prices of freedom is to give up boredom.
Thoughts are things and they create.
Your suffering is also the source of your awakening.
Don’t get to be right and lose the game.
Blame is an expression of self-pity.
Cat KIDNAPS pups February 16, 2011Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things, Lessons in Life.
Tags: adoption, adoption or abduction?, adoption reform, cats, dogs, pups, take time to laugh at yourself
“What’s going to happen to these pups when they open their eyes and think their mother is a cat? Will it lead to a dysfunctional adult doghood?”
Joan Wheeler and other Angry Adoptees – get over yourselves!
I know what needs to be done now. The cat should made to suffer for her crime of nursing a bunch of unwanted discarded pups. She saved their lives, but that doesn’t matter – she adopted, nay, KIDNAPPED them. She must be made to suffer.
and the birth mother – the dog who turned her back on these poor pups – she is a bitch.
and any older pups she may have whelped in earlier years should also be made to suffer – for their crime of having had suckled from their birth mother’s mammary gland. No, it matters not that they had nothing to do with the cat – they are the birth siblings of the pups – and they are just as guilty as the cat and the birth mother bitch.
As Dr. Smith was quite fond of saying: “The pain, oh the pain.” Robot: “Will Robinson, put him out of his pain.” – Next time cat, leave them to starve. They will be dead, but they will be happy.
My mother as my spiritual benefactor by Gert McQueen October 5, 2010Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things.
Tags: Buddhist, Disrespect, emotional abuse, Guided Meditation, Lilydale NY, Meditation, Reiki
Over the past 10 years or so I’ve studied various self-healing techniques including Reiki, a hands-on transmission of universal healing energy. In June 2006 I attended a Reiki 1 session, where I learned the basics of what reiki is, the basic hand positions and to receive an ‘attunement’ that ‘connects’ me with the universal ‘love’ energy. During all my research and putting into practice many techniques I have always been a bit shy of this ‘love’ energy because basically it sounds too much like various forms of christian love. Nonetheless I’ve remained open to the fact that christianity doesn’t have a monopoly on any love energy and I know there are other gods, goddesses and spiritual guides that I could call upon for help and guidance.
So at this attunement, in 2006, I am remaining open to receiving some guidance and love from a spiritual benefactor who would help me in learning and using reiki energy. I had no particular vision or impression of anyone or anything. So here I am in a semi-meditative state of awareness as the Reiki Master is ‘attuning’ me with Universal Reiki. All of a sudden I have this immense and intense sense of being ‘held and rocked’ in great arms of love and then ‘knowing’ that I am being held by my mother, who is in spirit form. Tears fell from my eyes for what seemed like a long time as I rocked back and forth, physically, as my mother, rocked me spiritually. It was a very profound experience. That was the first time I have ever experienced that and I knew that she was now guiding me with the reiki energy. I no longer felt uneasy when others expressed reiki in christian terms, for I now know differently.
I also have been studying and practicing various forms of Hindi and Buddhist meditations techniques for many years. Again, while I understand and can appreciate ‘loving kindness’, ‘forgiveness’ and ‘compassion’ and actually practice forms of these practices I still am shy and reluctant to go the full measure of extending the ‘love’ to certain people, including a particular family member. The practices are difficult, they take lots of time to understand and even with much practice they are not easy to do for they do require you to ‘see’ everything as it really is, not the illusions that we believe them to be. In just coming to terms with forgiving those that have harmed me I’m still working on it. Forgiving doesn’t means forgetting nor does it mean allowing negative or harmful behaviors to continue.
On June 5, 2010 I attended a Buddhist discussion and meditation workshop that focused on meditations of being open, being more aware, loving kindness to self, accepting that loving kindness and then sending that love to others. These practices are not easy and it is helpful to have a teacher to help you in the practices. It is not always easy for you to ‘accept’ the ‘love’ for yourself, let alone send it to others. I’m trying to get there.
Then it happened, again. I was in a state of calm, relaxed, deep meditation, floating in colors that went from red, red/orange, orange and going into orange/yellow, when suddenly there is this immense and intense sense that my benefactor was there, my mother was there. After a physical shutter my body reacted with a steady flow of tears, my breathing got deeper as my mental, emotional and spiritual bodies took in the loving kindness that my mother was showing me and giving me. That unconditional universal love/healing energy that has many names was flowing from my mother to me. I was still connected with all of this while I reached for my tissues and settled the body back down as the teacher was giving more instructions. Once I had made the connection of accepting the love from my benefactor, my mother, I was being asked to send that love to others I loved. That wasn’t so difficult, my daughter Karen and my sisters Kathy and Ruth. Then I heard ‘and Joan too’. I took a deep breath and said ‘yes to Joan too’ and send her love. After a few minutes more I was out of the meditative state still crying for a minute or so.
What I’m learning is that yes it is very hard and difficult to give love to someone who has harmed you. I can and for the most part, do separate the person from the behavior. Just because I love Joan doesn’t mean that I will sit back quietly and let her words and deeds go without comment. I only person I can fix is myself, and my mother is helping me in this and more. Thank you, Mom.
Thank you Gert for sharing this with us. I also had a similar experience when I attended a workshop at Lilydale, NY. in 2004. The guided meditation I attended was conducted by Tara Sutphen, wife of Dick Sutphen. The Sutphens have had their own self-help, self-hypnosis, guided meditation company for years. I have many of their CDs and tapes. I’m not going to get into all that here – if you are interesed in the Sutphens, just google them.
I also am not going to get into the whole meditation that I attended, just want to share that during the meditation, I felt my mother’s spirit surrounding me. I also wept, and was rocking back and forth. It was very profound. At the close of the meditation, several of the participants shared their experiences, I could not. It was deeply personal. I could see concern on Tara’s face, because I had been crying. But she did not pry.
Our sister-in-law Marty posted on our Family Stories site that something occured shortly after our brother died in 2003. She was in contact with his spirit and she asked him who had come for him. He told her “my mother.”
We have known for years that our mother’s spirit has not left the earthly plane. She has been with us all along. Many different psychic readings to not just us, but to cousins, all have come with the same thing – that a “Jenny” is watching over you.
This is why I said last month, and I said again yesterday, to Joan – that she can lie to herself, and she can lie to her friends, but she can’t lie to our mother’s spirit. And for shame Joan, for what you put on your blog – and I’m not talking about the front page – but that little slur against us on your cyber-bullying page – calling your sisters fools in the same sentance as professing your love for our mother. How do you think she feels about that Joan? And for you to attack us yet again, and stooping so low as to invoke our mother – for shame. And that is emotional abuse to us. But we are far stronger than you know. For we have spiritual help and guidance.
Writing this blog is our way of standing up to a bully – the bully named Joan Wheeler. She has gone in public with our private lives. We have the right to talk about OUR lives, do we not? If Joan can publish a lie about us, we have the right to tell the truth about us. Joan and her bully friends will not intimidate us.
UPDATE Dec 2015; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ yet again, her ‘story’, NOW called ‘duped by adoption’. There is NOTHING in it for adoption reform, for she is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…