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Doris Michol Sippel aka Joan Mary Wheeler just CAN’T keep her mouth shut about me. She gets shot down on Huffington Post, and brings me into it – even tho I was OUT of it (Jan, 2017). February 11, 2017

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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I have been meaning to put up this blog post for a month now. But life keeps getting in the way. Wierd how that works. lol. This is about Joan/Doris browbeating people, as usual, who have a different viewpoint than her. In this case, a simple article about human breast milk turns into Joan putting down adoptive mothers (her favorite past time because she has no life other than heaping hate onto adopters and adoption), flinging mud at people, and getting the mud flung right back at her, and then frigging DRAGGING ME INTO IT.  

I had seen the preview to this article when a Facebook friend of mine shared it. I glanced at the article, didn’t bother to comment on it. Gert looked at the article and comments and noticed one comment by Cathy D. that said basically that Joan was wrong and countered Joan’s claim that adoptive moms who breastfeed their adoptive children (if they are able to) are abusing the babies and commented that Joan does not know what abuse is. Gert answered Cathy, another commenter disagreed with Joan, and Joan was off and running – trashing Cathy D. and Ramona J. (the second commenter), Gert, and by extension ME. — Joan said “And, if there are any comments here from my sisters ( they are blocked from my Facebook but I can guess they are still cyber stalking me) I can assure you that they are guilty of many abuses upon me and my adoptive mother, and my children. ” — Take note how she types sister(S) – plural, when only ONE sister (Gert) had commented, and then notice how she goes out of her way to say she can’t see OUR comments, because she has blocked us, and then proceeds to tell LIES about us again. I’d like to know what abuses I heaped on her mother and kids. As to anything I wrote to or about her, was in answer to the abuses she has done to me! But this post is not about all that – it’s that I’d like to know WHY Joan went out of her way to mention us. — But I already know the answer to that question — we CAN see each other comments on Huffington Post AND Gert and I DO see Joan’s Facebook posts because sometimes people will take screenshots and send them to us via Facebook private message. 

So, if Gert and I can SEE Joan’s activity, Joan can see US. And she SAW Gert’s comment – because otherwise, she wouldn’t have brought us into the conversation – IF she hadn’t seen Gert’s comment, she would have kept the mud-slinging to Cathy D. and Ramona J. – AND she ONLY saw Gert’s comment – not anything from ME, because — I HAD NOT WRITTEN A COMMENT. — So WHY the sister(S) plural? Because Joan WANTS me in her life. Despite always saying on the internet she wants me OUT of it. 

She has not mentioned us online in a looooonnnngggg time. She must be getting lonely. We have noticed, that when Joan is ill, breaks up with her boyfriend-of-the-month, something goes wrong in her life (usually of her own doing), she gets going on the internet and says something she knows we will see. We have made her aware that we MONITOR (she calls it cyber-stalking), but we MONITOR what she says BECAUSE OF THIS HERE BULLSHIT. She can’t keep her fucking mouth SHUT about us.  

Her latest act of self-sabotage was on November 26, 2016, when she appeared at her very first book-signing event as an author. A local history museum sponsored a group book-signing event for new/up-and-coming authors. Joan, striving to become a ‘noted author,’ gets into an argument with the lady next to her and began SCREAMING at the woman, because the woman used “wrong adoption terminology.” At a public event, JOAN IS SCREAMING AT SOMEONE. — Then Joan takes it two notches higher (or rather lower, since she is a low-life, and she always engages in underhanded shit) – she posts on December 1, 2016 on Facebook of how PROUD she is that she VERBALLY ABUSED this woman (but reports that her sisters ‘abuse’ her) and then publicizes the woman’s contact info and commands other wacko adoptees to CYBER-STALK and otherwise stalk the woman (but bitches when (?) her sisters cyber stalk her). My guess is that Joan KNOWS she shot herself in the foot by acting like an asshole at the book-signing event, and turned people against her, and had ‘gone into herself’ again. (she does that when she is in the depressive state of her bi-polarism). And then decided she wanted contact with her birth siblings again. (and we have noticed that this is what she does when she goes depressive – she starts talking about us). She desperately WANTS us in her life. AND because — she only saw ONE comment from ONE birth sister – Gert, and ONLY Gert, she decided to pluralize it – to DRAG ME INTO IT. And I responded as I always do – throw the mud right back at her.  

So here is the entire comment exchange and the link to the webpage: 

Joan’s first comment: commenting as her birth name Doris Michol Sippel

Doris Michol Sippel · Owner-operator at Self-Employed A quote from the article: “ ‘As I was reading an article about how breast milk carries up to a million white blood cells in one drop, my mom was already looking at her blood, so I asked if we could see the white blood cells in my milk while she had the microscope on,’ she recalled.” 

Nature intended mothers to breastfeed their own babies. But, all-to-eager and misguided adoptive “mothers” have convinced doctors to build a breastfeeding apparatus that straps onto the woman, with a bag of milk or formula attached to a tube which is placed near the nipple so that the infant she adopted from the real mother can suckle. The action of suckling, combined with drugs the woman takes to artificially stimulate her mammary glands to produce milk, eventually begins to produce milk. Thus, an adopter can breastfeed the newborn.  

To adopters, this is great! Photos have been plastered all over the internet by bragging adopters about this wonderful invention. 

From the baby’s perspective, however, this is deception. The baby is fed artificially produced milk from a mother who is not the biological mother. So there are no correct antibodies, no natural white blood cells in this milk. This is a form of sexual abuse, child abuse, and medical malpractice. 

What other microscopic bits are passed on through breastmilk? Can artificially produced breastmilk from a non-biologiocal mother harm an infant?  

Perhaps it is time to ask the medical profession to protect infants from this forced abuse. 

I am an adopted person who has researched adoption since 1974. Many other adopted individuals are also repulsed by adopters who think they can fulfill a biological role that only the real mother can fulfil. (sic) 

Thank you for posting this as a reality wake up call to those who think they can imitate nature. 

Jan 9, 2017 8:16pm

Cathy D.· Owner-operator at You design      …Abuse? I think you might need to look up the definition of “abuse.” You do realize that without that “artifically produced milk” the baby would still require artifically produced milk from another mammal in order to sustain life, correct? If an adoptive parent goes to that great a length to nurture a baby when that same result can easily be purchased, that child is the very furthest thing from abused. Please seek counselling, your issues with adoption are not healthy. 

 Jan 9, 2017 11:37pm      Gert Mcqueen · Works at Happily Retired Cathy D… Doris Michol Sippel (adopted as Joan Mary Wheeler) has a long history of histrionics; she likes drama, likes to shock people. By using these techniques she thinks people will listen to her profound wisdoms for they don’t have ‘her’ background and knowledge (she’s an expert). Generally people are turned off by her. No amount of reasoning works on her! She’s anti-adoption so any topic that she can hijack, she will, to promote her anti-adoption crap. 

Ramona J.      Doris, your adoption experience is not that of all adopted people. Help is available for your issues. Clearly you require professional assistance to deal with them. 

Doris Michol Sippel · Owner-operator at Self-Employed      Ramona J. I do not need help, thank you. I am an activist. You people are sorely uniformed. And, if there are any comments here from my sisters ( they are blocked from my facebook but I can guess they are still cyberstalking me) I can assure you that they are guilty of many abuses upon me and my adoptive mother, and my children. Go ahead, have a heyday. I have been mocked since 1974. Yet, I stand strong in my activism, for I know I am right. Think what you like, water off the duck’s back. 

Gert McQueen to Ramona    Ramona J…

Ah yes.. Doris Michol Sippel (adopted as Joan Mary Wheeler) does indeed detest her birth siblings! Why?? Because we bring forth the exploitation, libel and misrepresentations that ‘she’ has written about OUR PARENTS! She can’t abide that anyone should contradict her! She’s been in ‘therapy’ for over 30 years, she does love therapy! When I ADOPTED my flesh and blood in ‘step-parent’ adoption, she could NOT abide that! Why? She’s anti-adoption, period, end of story, don’t try to convince her of anything other than what she KNOWS…poor baby! No one understand her!

Her first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism’ published in 2009, was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011 due to libelous material in it. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’, being her own editor and owner. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and reedited and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people! 

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace · Queen at Retired     ah yes, the old “lump all her birth-sisters into one entity delusion.”

I am the other birth sister (Gert is one, I am the other). I read all this a few hours ago and was not interested in leaving a comment, but since Joan/Doris dragged me into it.  

Cyberstalking??? Let’s talk plain stalking. Back in November 2012, Joan/Doris wrote a letter to my job with lies to get me fired. Which she has been doing on and off since 1995. I hauled her into court, but in July 2013 the judge dismissed the charges, because I hadn’t been affected by it – i.e. not sanctioned by my job. Joan/Doris said I was committing computer fraud. lol. But my employer can and did trace every keystroke that I had done. I was exonerated. So, since I hadn’t ‘suffered’ anything – the charges were dismissed. BUT prior to my filing the charges, Joan/Doris went right here on Huffington and BRAGGED about calling my job to get me fired. – it’s under her comments under Joan M Wheeler – you’ll have to search for it. 

Also in 2013 she had her boyfriend threaten me via his blog to expose my ‘dark dirty secret.’ (I have no idea what that is). I told him via MY blog that I do not respond to emotional blackmail and that if he knows something about me to go right ahead and say it. And the Buffalo police and the Erie County District Attorney would be very interested in finding out how and why this man, who never met me, never spoke to me, knows things about me and is threatening me. — lol. apparently, he broke up with Joan/Doris right after that. 

by the way, prior to that blackmail attempt, on his blog he was asking about a fight I had with an Arab lady whose name started with S. — oh my gods! that was in September 1979!!! Joan/Doris is going around telling her boyfriends 35 year old gossip about me!!! lol – lol – lol. 

Joan/Doris had her first book pulled from publication because I sent police/court documents to Trafford Publications that proved that she libled me in her book. 

Well, now that I’ve retired, she can’t call my job anymore to get me fired. I have taken her toy away.

CLICK HERE to see the original post and the comments.

Comments

1. gertmcqueen – February 13, 2017

NOTE WELL what two different people say here to Joan/Doris…

1) Please seek counselling, your issues with adoption are not healthy.

2) Help is available for your issues. Clearly you require professional assistance to deal with them.

and what Joan/Doris says…

I do not need help, thank you. I am an activist. You people are sorely uniformed.

And this is why we keep shining the light on J/D…everyone else sees and knows what she does not. She’s right everyone else is wrong.

Joan Mary Wheeler aka Doris Michol Sippel has her very first book signing and blows it by screaming at another author there, then calls for other adoptees to harass the woman AND publishes the woman’s phone number on social media. January 3, 2017

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, mental illness, Uncategorized.
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Read this blog post by Gert McQueen to read how Joan aka Doris started screaming at another author at a book signing event held at the Buffalo Historical Museum. And then goes after the author by telling other adoptees to harass her, and publishes the author’s phone number. what a bitch Joan/Doris is – but we all know that anyway. (by the way, the author’s [Mary Arno] contact information, including email and phone number ARE on her flyer/website. I chose NOT to publish the phone number here. Joan/Doris publicized the phone number, not to generate interest or possible sales for Mary Arno, but to have others stalk and harass her. And that’s WRONG!)

If this is HOW Doris M. Sippel/Joan M. Wheeler behaves, towards another author, at her FIRST BOOK SIGNING, than she ought to be banned from book signings!

Here is Joan/Doris’ own account on her facebook page about how proud she is to have been verbally abusive to another person AND calls for that person to be stalked and harassed by other adoptees. 

Doris Michol Sippel December 1 at 8:48pm · Buffalo 

ABUSIVE ADOPTER ALERT – author Mary Arno 

I was one of 65 local authors who presented their books for sale at the Buffalo (New York) History Museum on Sat Nov 26, 2016. This was my very first author event for my memoir, Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity. (Amazon) 

The woman to my right handed me her book mark. She is a well-known author by the name of Mary Arno. Here is here contact info from her book mark: 716- &&&-&&&&

 (You will need it to send her emails to inform her about the reality of adoption. She has no clue.) 

I gave her my flyer. She read it: “The death of my married mother when I was an infant led to my closed adoption. Eighteen years later, I was found by family I did not know I had.” Inside the flyer was a statement about sealed birth certificates and falsified birth certificates. 

Mary Arno turned to me and said, “you sound very angry!” 

I shot out at her, “I am now! Thank you for putting me on the defensive! I am the expert of my life!” 

She said, “You should be mad at your BIOLOGICAL mother for giving you away, not at your adoptive parents…” 

At hearing her refer to my MOTHER as my “BIOLOGICAL MOTHER”, I got even madder and began shouting at her. “My mother died!” 

But she didn’t even acknowledge my loss. “Then you should be mad at your father for giving you away, not at your adoptive parents!” 

“I never blamed my father for giving me away! He was in an impossible situation, a father of five children, his wife died of cancer, how I could blame him…” 

Mary Arno shot back at me, “Oh no, it is clearly his fault! He willing gave you away! You SHOULD blame him!” And in the next breath, she asked, “Your adoptive parents loved you, didn’t they?” 

I yelled, “Oh? My adoptive parents lied to me my entire life! Lies, lies, lies! And more lies! They knew I had sisters and a brother who lived 6 miles from me my entire childhood, yet they willfully prevented me from knowing my own siblings! I would hardly call that love! New York State stole my birth certificate and I’m not supposed to upset over that?” 

“I am an adoptive mother so I have a different opinion than you do,” Mary Arno declared smugly. 

I shouted back at her. “You did not give birth so your name does not belong on a birth certificate.” 

“That is your opinion!” Mary Arno snapped back at me. 

“It’s more than my opinion. I have 42 years of personal and professional experience in adoption reform. This is a global movement to eradicate adoption from the planet. Adoptees and mothers-of-adoption-loss are rising in protest against adoption.”

I told her I am fighting New York State for my right to my own birth certificate. She said I should do just that! As if I need her permission for my activism! 

Then Mary Arno said to me, “So, writing your memoir, that must have been a very cathartic experience for you.” 

Nice going. What a put-down. No, it actually was hard work. As if all adoptees who write memoirs write simply to “get it out of our systems” so “we can move on with our lives”. Hell, I wouldn’t wish this journey on my worst enemy. 

Somehow, I got through he two hour event by talking with people as they came up to the table. 

I sent Mary Arno a long email on the proper etiquette on how to talk with an adopted person. I encourage all adoptees and mothers-of-adoption-loss to do so as well. 

Here is the front and back of Mary Arno’s bookmark with her website and contact info – email and phone number. Yes, she lives in Buffalo, New York. 716- &&&-&&&&

comments 

Paula – January 4, 2017    –  Mary Arno read her like a book!! (pun intended!)

Ruth – January 4, 2017   –  ha ha ha

gertmcqueen – January 4, 2017   –  I’m quite sure that Mary Arno ‘knows’ what type Joan/Doris is alright! Unless someone is on the ‘same’ page as Joan/Doris, they are ‘bookmarked’ as enemy.

Ruth – January 4, 2017 – hmmm, Joan/Doris says “Somehow, I got through the two hour event …” – seems as tho I’ve read that line before – oh yeah, in her book, Joan is always just “getting through” events –because she ‘suffers’ so damn much!

Well, if she would treat people nicely, then people wouldn’t get mad at her, and then she wouldn’t have to SUFFER all the time.   but the ass NEVER learns that.

 gertmcqueen – January 4, 2017   – I can just image what that must have been like for the unfortunate ones that had to ‘deal’ with Joan/Doris as she ‘got through’ the event. Sure hope that the event organizers read my blog, for I sent them the link! and then J/D won’t have to worry about ‘suffering through’ another event

Why hasn’t Joan Mary Wheeler announced her legal name change? May 15, 2016

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, legal notices.
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Well, here it is just 3 days shy of one month that Joan Mary Wheeler appeared in Erie County Surrogate’s Court and had her name legally changed to the name she was given at birth: Doris Michol Sippel. Why hasn’t she made a formal public announcement of it? She says nothing about it on her facebook page, nor on her blog. – by the way, this name change is a matter of PUBLIC RECORD – it being recorded in Erie County’s PUBLIC records. So it is not against any law that I blog about this. As a matter of fact, when one seeks to legally change their name, an announcement of such is PUBLISHED in TWO (by law) publications. Usually they are published in legal newspapers, and the person changing their name has to pay for that.

On her facebook page, she made her cover picture a closeup of her original birth certificate showing her birth name. Her facebook page shows her name Joan Mary Wheeler, and in paranthesis Doris Michol Sippel. But she did that quite a while ago. On her blog she has her name as: Doris M Sippel – – – adopted as – – – Joan M Wheeler – but does not say anything about having her name legally changed. 

Why does she not want anyone to know of this name change? Wouldn’t this be counted as a major coup for an adoptee to reclaim their original name, their original identity? Why does Joan not want anyone in the adoption reform world to know what she has done? Was she not very happy on April 18, 2016 to have her legal name back to her birth name/identity? Was she not floating on air? Was she not full of victory and pride? So much so that she would want the whole world to know? To throw back her head in success and roar to the world: “I WON! LOOK AT ME – I DID IT!”  And to give hope to all those hopeless adoptees that a major success CAN BE ACHIEVED!  

For some reason, Joan doesn’t want anyone to know. WHY? Inquiring minds want to know.

related posts: 

Joan Mary Wheeler has legally changed her name to Doris Michol Sippel May 12, 2016

Joan Wheeler talks the talk, but can’t (fully) walk the walk. November 23, 2014

Legal Notice by Ruth B. Pace (nee Sippel) concerning Joan Mary Wheeler’s legal name change to Doris Michol Sippel May 12, 2016 

As of May 15, 2016, 3:56 pm, see date and time in the lower right hand corner of this screenshot) Joan Wheeler has NOT yet made the announcement to the world of her legal name change via her very important blog, about her very important achievement. So I did if for her. You’re very welcome Joan.

joan blog

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UPDATE SEPT 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m (Gert) updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

end

Joan Mary Wheeler has a written an article for “Dissident Voice” titled “End Identity Theft Caused by Adoption.” August 23, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Joan Mary Wheeler has a written an article for “Dissident Voice” titled “End Identity Theft Caused by Adoption.”

It is a topic that Joan and other adult adoptees are very passionate about. And it is a topic that most people don’t think about because they haven’t experienced it or don’t know anyone who has.

Joan correctly points out that when people (usually adoptees) don’t have their original birth certificate (OBC), all sorts of problems arise. And many of those problems surfaced after the Homeland Security Act.

My own husband experienced these problems. He was born to an unwed teenage girl in 1943. He was not adopted, but due to shoddy paperwork by his family he was registered in Catholic grammer school under his step-father’s last name when his mother married the step-father. That step-father never adopted my husband – everyone just gave my husband that last name and that was that.

During the Vietnam War, when my husband was of age, he enlisted under that ‘assumed’ name. He was issued a social security number under that name and all his military papers, and subsequent documents throughout his adult life (driver’s license, employment), were all under that name.

After his mother died, he finally got his OBC, found in her papers. And his birthdate was off by a week. His retirement was coming up – we needed to fix the problem. He also couldn’t renew his driver’s license because after Homeland Security kicked in – he was not eligible for a license or a non-driver’s id card.

Even though all his documents, social security number, and military papers were under the name of Pace, his legal last name was his mother’s maiden name. We had to go in front of a judge with all this paperwork and have his name legally changed to Pace. The different birthdate wasn’t too much of an issue – we just had to change it on everything – we had to notify the IRS, the DMV, doctors, dentist – we just handled that when the times came when we would be doing business with those entities.

But it cost us almost $300.00! And it was not an uncommon thing we had to go through! The clerk in the surrogate judge’s office told me they see this kind of thing all the time! And nobody pays attention to it until they approach retirement age and find there’s a problem with their paperwork.

So getting back to Joan’s article – actually the rest of the article doesn’t concern me. Her writing style is very good. I have no problem with this kind of stuff that she champions – in fact, I applaud it. I just want to point out that we can see – she CAN leave us birthsisters OUT of her writing – WHEN SHE CHOOSES TO.

She can now point out that by my finding, reading, and commenting on this, that I have internet-stalked her. I choose to call it MONITORING what she writes about – because I have the right to see if she is writing anything about ME and MY FAMILY. And if she writes something about ME that is a lie, a misrepresentation, or a mockery of anything about ME OR MY LIFE, OR MY FAMILY – I most certainly will speak up.

AND because she mentions her kindle book “Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption,” which includes many blatant lies and misrepresentations and mockeries of me, and members of my family, I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO COMMENT ABOUT THIS ARTICLE that she has written.

Gert here with an UPDATE, FEBRUARY 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…

 https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

NOW BACK TO THE COMMENTS ON THIS POST

1. gertmcqueenAugust 23, 2015

Very good Ruth!
We do NOT do any kind of searching for Joan on the Internet, she puts herself out there! I saw at least 3 public shares of this article at 6 am this morning! We do monitor what she says because we ARE THE SUBJECTS in her books! She has published OUR family names, OUR parents names! Within the books she publishes REAL names of living and dead RELATIVES of our FAMILY. So, any time Joan M Wheeler references her books she is REFERENCING us.

I have comments on the reviews of her book on Amazon…that is a legit thing to do. We write our blogs, we have facebook and twitter and more accounts, just like the rest of the world. And, we will continue to say what we must!

RuthAugust 23, 2015

exactly Gert – the internet is for EVERYONE to use. And Joan is NOT the owner of the internet. If it is a PUBLIC post on a PUBLIC page, than I have the right to comment on it. If it is a private page, say a person’s website or blog, and the owner allows comments – it is NOT up to Joan to dictate if I or Gert can comment on it.

Joan Mary Wheeler does not understand monsters, despite being one herself. August 22, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
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Joan Mary Wheeler does not understand monsters, despite being one herself. 

Stupid ass Joan Mary Wheeler slams me for being a monster movie buff, saying derogatorily that I was “raised on horror movies.” stupid wench.

What happened was – in the mid-to-late 50’s, many old horror movies from the 1930’s – 40’s (Frankenstein, Dracula, Werewolf, Mummy, King Kong) became available to be shown on television. I don’t recall which station, but a Buffalo station would show them on Saturday afternoons. After the morning cartoons. Watching these movies in your living room with commercial breaks – these monsters did not scare us – and then the Madison Ave. commercialism set in – toys, cereal (Count Chocula), shampoo, all kinds of merchandise – and comic books, monster magazines appeared – then a few years later – The Addams Family and The Munsters appeared on television.

So was Ruth the only child in America watching this stuff? oh hell no – almost every dam kid in America was. 

Joan was an only child – and I suspect her adoptive parents did not let her watch these things. So she doesn’t understand. I remember her slamming the Garbage Pail Kids when they came out. – I am thinking – it was HER childhood that was warped, not mine – most kids aged 8-12 absolutely LOVE gross stuff – slime, snots, creepy crawlers.

And we see again – another example of how Joan Mary Wheeler is fucking JEALOUS of me and the fun childhood that I had – and she did not have so much fun. She says so right in her stupid book – she was lonely. Aw, too bad, I’m sorry that widdle Joanie had such a bad childhood – doesn’t give her the right to slam MY childhood. Bitch.

monster mash book

Just got this book in the mail today – Monster Mash by Mark Voger – about The Creepy, Kooky Monster Craze in America – 1957-1972

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Joan Mary Wheeler decides to step in (unwanted and uninvited) to help Laura Ruffino adopt the four daughters of her late best friend Elizabeth Diamond and blabs confidential information about the family on her facebook page. August 7, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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“When Elizabeth Diamond was diagnosed with Stage 4 brain cancer in 2014, the single mom was deeply concerned about what would happen to her four young daughters after she was gone.   But Diamond, who died in April at the age of 40, needn’t have worried. Her best friend, Laura Ruffino of Orchard Park, New York adopted the four girls.”

So starts the article on this adoption (with a bit of help from me on that last sentance) on the Huffington Post, published on July 23, 2015. You can see the original Huffington post here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mom-adopts-friends-four-daughters_55b06bffe4b08f57d5d3afab

Well, it turns out that as the most supreme adoption expert out there, Joan Mary Wheeler decided to step in and give UNWANTED advice to Laura Ruffino via a mutual friend. Er, um, that is Joan WANTED to contact Mrs. Ruffino and advise her. I don’t know if Joan ever got to meet Mrs. Ruffino and tell her how to run her own life. But we have Joan’s full comment that she wrote on both the Huffington Post and on her facebook page on July 23, 10:04 pm. 

A friend of mine is a close friend of the deceased mother, Elizabeth Diamond. When she told me of the mother’s death and the impending adoption, I volunteered to help in the only way I knew: to give advice against the adoption. Why? Because I didn’t want the girls’ true identities to be sealed and then falsified by new birth certificates as this is what adoption does. Using my own life story as proof, I explained that I was given up to a closed adoption one month after the death of my mother from cancer. I was only three months old when my mother died. My father relinquished me to a closed adoption and kept his four older children. My adoption not only took away my family, but took away my birth certificate and gave me a completely new identity.

 I did not want the same thing to happen to these girls. I did not want them to lose their true identities in order to have a home with their mother’s best friend.

 I explained that legal guardianship would be a better choice, that Elizabeth Diamond’s best friend, Laura Ruffino, and her husband, Rico, could be legal guardians as opposed to adoptive parents. Guardianship, I explained, would preserve the four girls’ birth certificates, preserve Elizabeth Diamond’s place as their mother, and at the same time, give the four girls a stable home. Info was transferred to the attorney.

My friend later told me that the adoption was a necessary legal action to protect the girls. There are private, extenuating circumstances concerning the girls’ father. That is why he is not mentioned in the article.

 It was determined that the girls would, indeed, maintain their own birth certificates in this adoption: their birth certificates would not be sealed and no new birth certificates would be made implying that the new adoptive parents gave birth to these four girls.

 For that, I am grateful. These girls lost their mother in April. They did not need to lose their identities upon adoption on top of losing their mother.

The general public needs to know that there are other alternatives to adoption. Promoting adoption, and only displaying the happy side of adoption, is very misleading. The finality of adoption, the striping away of a child’s identity, the sealing of birth certificates and the automatic issuance of a new birth certificate upon adoption are all aspects of adoption that need to be pointed out as unnecessary and harmful to all adopted people.

Now go back up 4 paragraphs and re-read that sentance again and I repeat it here for emphasis: THERE ARE PRIVATE, EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES CONCERNING THE GIRL’S FATHER. THAT IS WHY HE IS NOT MENTIONED IN THE ARTICLE.

Following her posting this on her facebook page, was a discussion between Joan and her anti-adoption friends and one of them asked about the biological father of the four girls and Joan wrote this the following day on July 24 at 5:33pm:

“I was trying to get this family to go for legal guardianship as the father is a s********… that is why the family went for adoption – to keep him away from the girls.”

But less than 24 hours prior, Joan was saying that it was a PRIVATE circumstance about the bio-dad. So who the HELL does Joan Wheeler think she is to BLAB that PRIVATE information on her very PUBLIC facebook page, or ANYWHERE or to ANYONE?

This is coming from someone who keeps saying she is a social worker? No, she is not – she went to COLLEGE for social work, but she has NOT WORKED ONE SINGLE DAY AS A SOCIAL WORKER! And if she WAS a social worker, to breach the confidentiality of a current or prospective client is a a breach of the code of ethics of professional social workers. And there are ways for people to file complaints against a social worker and get their license pulled and censured and terminated from their place of employment. But Joan doesn’t work for ANYONE – she is on Social Security Disability. For her mental problems.

Think I am making this up? here are the screenshots I took of the comments that I quoted above as they appeared on Joan Mary Wheeler’s facebook page. I whited out that information that Joan Wheeler blabbed.

 joan reveals 2

joan reveals 1

Joan Mary Wheeler violated the privacy of people she doesn’t even know and I hope they go after her with a lawyer. And Laura Ruffino – if you read this – I would find out WHO that close friend of yours is that blabbed this information to Joan Wheeler in the first place.

Read Gert’s blog post about Joan’s sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong here: https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2015/07/30/when-others-adopt-joanmwheeler-volunteers-to-advise-them-against-doing-so-why-because-shes-been-dupedbyadoption/

UPDATE, APRIL 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…

 https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

Hey Joan Mary Wheeler – are you going to slam this horror game from 1964 for kids? or the new book coming out called Monster Mash? July 8, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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in this post: a monster themed Old Maid card game from 1964. “Monster Mash” a new book detailing the monster fad for kids in the United States in the years 1957-1972.

gosh, a monster card game from 1964 – quick now Joan Mary Wheeler – you’d better slam Milton Bradley for making such a horrible game for kids aged 5-10 – a game based on horror movies.

No? You’re not going to slam Milton Bradley? Why not? Oh, I see, because Milton Bradley is NOT your birth sister Ruth – see, Milton Bradley can have stuff about horror movies and monsters, Hollywood can have tv shows like The Munsters and The Addams Family – but Ruth can not – absolutely can NOT have anything to do with monsters or horror movies. Why? Because bitch Joan Mary Wheeler has decreed it.

In 1964, I was 12 years old and in the monster craze – like a lot of other kids around the country – but Joan thinks there was something wrong with me for liking such things and has slammed me and my stepmother for liking monster and horror movies. Stop passing judgment on MY life and childhood Joan – pay attention to your own rotten life.

monster old maid

I think I know what the problem is – when Joan was the lonely only child in her adopted home, she must not have had any fun – and after we were reunited (ugh, what a mistake that was) – she was told how much fun I had with my monsters and horror movies. So she simply HAS to slam my liking horror movies any chance she gets – like she did recently on her facebook – saying that I was “raised” on horror movies.

NO Joan, you fucking idiot – like a ton of other kids, I thought monsters were cool! But because YOU were raised in physically and mentally abusive house that comes right out of a horror movie you won’t admit that you were deeply affected by it and must take your shit out on the most convenient people you can – your birthsisters – and in particular me – because I, at the age of almost 63 (next month) am still having monster fun.  Face it Joan – you’re JEALOUS of the fact that despite me being raised without a mom – I succeeded in having fun as a child, while you did not. Aw, too bad. Am I crying over you? hell no!

IMPORTANT UPDATE!!!!

Well looky-here! Look what popped up on my facebook newsfeed someone shared an article about this upcoming book on Amazon. READ IT AND LEARN JOAN MARY WHEELER – I wasn’t “raised” on horror movies – it was a NATIONAL FAD! (ever hear of The Munsters on TV? or the song Monster Mash?)

So now Joan Mary Wheeler – shut your fucking mouth about MY childhood, that you were NOT A PART OF.

Monster Mash: The Creepy, Kooky Monster Craze In America 1957-1972 Hardcover – July 23, 2015 by Mark Voger (Author), Basil Gogos (Illustrator), Jim Warren (Illustrator)

Time-trip back to the frightening era of 1957-1972, when monsters stomped into the American mainstream! Once Frankenstein and fiends infiltrated TV in 1957, an avalanche of monster magazines, toys, games, trading cards, and comic books crashed upon an unsuspecting public. This profusely illustrated, full-color hardcover covers that creepy, kooky Monster Craze through features on Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine, the #1 hit “Monster Mash,” Aurora’s model kits, TV shows (Shock Theatre, The Addams Family, The Munsters, and Dark Shadows), Mars Attacks trading cards, Eerie Publications, Planet of the Apes, and more! It features interviews with James Warren (Creepy, Eerie, and Vampirella magazines), Forrest J Ackerman (Famous Monsters of Filmland), John Astin (The Addams Family), Al Lewis (The Munsters), Jonathan Frid (Dark Shadows), George Barris (monster car customizer), Ed “Big Daddy” Roth (Rat Fink), Bobby (Boris) Pickett (“Monster Mash” singer/songwriter) and others, with a Foreword by TV horror host Zacherley, the “Cool Ghoul.”

monster mash

gorgon 1

Joan the gorgon – she will turn you to stone with her ugly heart.

Joan Mary Wheeler – I bought some more movies! June 29, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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I had a $50.00 rewards certificate from amazon dot com a couple of months ago – and I got the following DVDs, which finally arrived today (June 29, 2015)  I am such a smart shopper – my out of pocket expenses — a whopping $6.00 and change.

 Krull – a fantasy movie

 Willow – fantasy

 Sphinx – mystery/romance set in modern-day Egypt

 The Man Who Would be King – a fantasy film based on a story by Rudyard Kipling

 Shirley Temple in Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm

 Ian McKellan in Gods and Monsters – a bio-pic of film maker James Whale (Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein) –

oh wow – not a horror film in the bunch!

 If Joan Mary Wheeler wants to make it her business as to what films I watch or DVDs I buy or how I spend my own money (for which I have a long-time CAREER to obtain) – she should get her facts straight. But then, she never does.

dvds

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Joan Mary Wheeler is the real horror movie – and one that I would NOT want to see. June 26, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Joan Mary Wheeler likes to run her gossip-filled mouth about me and reports that I was raised on horror movies. Contrary to her warped conception of MY childhood (that she wasn’t even around (YAY) to see first hand) – I was NOT raised solely on horror movies. I saw this one, and stuff like Fantasia, Snow White, Cinderella, Dumbo, Bambi, Ol’ Yeller – and a ton of other stuff – at the theatres. So shut up Joan about MY childhood.

And my goodness – I was only 7 years old when Ben Hur came out and went to see that at the theatre. And where would I have gotten the name Top Cat for a kitty we had – if all I did was watch horror movies?

And how could I have been watcing tv stuff like Mickey Mouse Club, Howdy Doody, Captain Kangeroo, Romper Room, Superman, Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny, Yogi Bear – when all I did was watch horror movies? – Joan Mary Wheeler is an asshole – plain and simple and has no brains what-so-ever!

darby

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Joan Mary Wheeler engages in personal attacks against someone who she disagrees with and is taken to task! June 18, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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First a note: Joan Mary Wheeler PUBLICLY attacked someone, and I am PUBLICLY reporting on it. And to quote Joan’s own words which appear further down: when she answered Melinda A. W. – “it is not slander when I am telling the truth.”

SEE END OF THIS POST FOR AN UPDATE…

Joan Mary Wheeler is currently pissed off at another person – and saying on facebook about the woman, much the same crap she’s been saying about me and my sisters for years. And someone else is telling Joan to shut up, stop slandering, and grow up. – same thing me and Gert Mcqueen have been saying to Joan for years. AND Joan – in her tirades – is admitting to being in “deep depression” and in therapy. – Yet she thinks she has the right to call ME crazy? She says that me and my sisters have been “deeply affected” by HER adoption, and we are crazy. (the other day on facebook). Where’s your medical degree Joan? – now she’s saying another lady has been “deeply affected” by her being a birthmother.  gods, Joan just loves her DRAMA and SLANDERING people.

 AND – the person standing up to Joan – says “where’s your proof?” and “someone’s lying. I want to see proof.” One woman admonishes Joan that just because J.B. let Joan down, Joan should not be betraying confidences – AND another woman told Joan to stop slandering. 

Isn’t that what Gert and I have been saying on our blogs that Joan is a pathological LIAR? – she accuses people of saying this or that, doing this or that – yet offers no clear PROOF of it.  I, on the other hand, have offered police and court documents that prove JOAN MARY WHEELER is the liar – and even handwritten letters and envelopes by Joan that also prove she is a liar.

So what’s the story here? Apparently, there was an important bill to be voted on in Albany the other day, something to do with adoptees and their birth certificates – I don’t fully understand it, because frankly, it is not my passion, therefore I am unclear as to what exactly happened, but apparently a woman named Joyce. B. was supposed to say something that the adoptees wanted her to say, but she didn’t. I’m not sure – so I can’t comment one way or the other – but Joan Mary Wheeler feels BETRAYED by Joyce and was quite vocal about it on facebook and was calling for Joyce to step down from her position as spokesperson (I think). Some of Joan’s adoptee friends agreed with Joan, but a couple, Denise F. C. and Melinda A. W. called Joan out for slandering, bringing personal issues into it, and engaging in personal attacks on Joyce.

Here is the facebook exchange that I am talking about – I have omitted comments by other adoptees that have no bearing on the topic of this blogpost – that being that SOME people now see Joan Mary Wheeler for what we, her birth family saw 30 years ago – that she is mentally unstable, is a liar, offers absolutely NO proof of her lies or anything she says, engages in personal attacks, yells at people when they disagree with her, and brags about her own self-importance as evidence that what she says is the final truth in the matter.

Joan also has a couple of statements about Joyce that ARE EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAYS ABOUT ME AND MY SISTERS – that we were DEEPLY AFFECTED by HER adoption and we WILL NOT ADMIT IT. – so, Joan is in MY brain – to know what I’m thinking and feeling?

The statements below that I have talked about above, are in bold for emphasis. I have also bolded some statements that have been told to Joan over and over by us, but because she does not agree with us on them, we have been labeled by her as “crazy.” Joan also psycho-analyzes Joyce by saying that she knows what Joyce is thinking and feeling, Joyce won’t admit it. – same garbage she says about me.  I have also included some of my notes after some key statements and put them in italic.

June 15, 2015

Joan Mary Wheeler

I am urging all adoption activists who have “liked” Unsealed Initiative’s Facebook Page to UNLIKE the page to give the clear message that we do not like, nor approve of, the incompetent leadership of New York Statewide Adoption Reform’s Unsealed Initiative. Instead, send all your LIKES to NY New York State Adoptee Equality where we have leaders who will lead with competency, respect, while conducting damage control of the mess created by the other group in NYS.

Joan Mary Wheeler

On a deep personal level, Joyce B. has been negatively affected by letting her son go into adoption. She will not admit it, as I spoke with her privately many times between 2005 – 2007. She defends her position as a “birthmother”.

She told me that adoption “is as American as apple pie” and threw me out of UI because I am anti-adoption. She, evidently, is PRO ADOPTION.

She feels she must defend adoption because she gave her son to adoption decades ago. She said, “there will always be mothers who give up their children” and “there will be people to take those children in.”

Joyce cannot admit that her actions led to her son having many problems as an adoptee. She told me his problems. I told her many adoptees DO have problems because of adoption. She cannot reconcile her actions nor her son’s present life, so that is why she is a controlling dictator in her self-appointed role as the leader of Unsealed Initiative. She feels guilty for giving up her so, but she will not admit it.

In those years (2005-2007) Joyce told me she felt that I was ineffectual as an activist because of my admittance of going to therapy. Ha! If it weren’t for my therapy to help me sort out the crazy affects of adoption, I would be dead right now.

STEP DOWN JOYCE B. We do not want YOU to lead US into one disaster after another.

Denise F. C.

You don’t have to be against adoption in order to work for open records. While I know the countless abuses that occur in the practice of adoption, I do see adoption working for adoptees. Kids in foster care have found loving adoptive families. My adoption saved from a family life that had lots of problems I was fortunate to avoid. Adoption is a mixed bag. It is not the glowing institution that some people idealize, but it isn’t completely useless.

The catholic maternity home I was relinquished in now has a program that helps women keep their children. Maybe you should work with organizations like that.

There are women who do not want to parent for various reasons. Open records activism is not about second guessing or shaming birthmothers for their choices.

It sounds like you are unfairly using information told you in confidence to attack her publicly which is uncool. I worked with Joyce in the 1990s and she is a pioneer in the movement. She deserves more respect than this. (Ruth’s note: yes, Joan has done the same thing to me – used things told to her in confidence to slam me and slander me).

Everybody has problems– even the non-adopted. While being adopted colors how we see our problems, adopted people are more effected by the pathologizing by those advancing the primal wound or adopted child syndrome. It is just another reason opponents can justify sealed records because even adopted people are telling us they are different than other citizens.

There are people who have more nuanced and therefore more accurate view of adoption who disagree with the anti-adoption crowd. I think the anti-adoption language turns potential supporters off from joining because your experience isn’t theirs.

If you have a problem with Joyce’s leadership or effectiveness then talk about those things. This is horrible and reflects poorly on those who are against adoption.

If you want to abolish adoption create your own organization, do not use open records organizations to do it. .

Denise F. C.

I am not going to reveal details, but I was the lucky one to be adopted. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have feelings for each other but it was pretty messed up and there was no real stability.

My birthmother never regretted relinquishing me, who am I to argue with her. This wasn’t the lone teen, but an older woman with 3 other kids.

Every family situation is different and there is a spectrum of experience in adoption. I believe adoption can be reformed and made less necessary. I work for supporting single moms so they can keep their children with comprehensive set of services.

Working on Voices of Adoption for 8 years I heard countless adoption stories. People would call me day or night to tell me their stories. I can guarantee you there are so my complexities to the adoption experience that differ from yours.

If you ban adoption, like abortion you just drive it underground where it can be more secretive and horrible.

I do not want anyone to tell a woman what she does with her body whether it is birth control, abortion, adoption, or keeping a child when she is poor. I do not find it helpful in open records by adding more shame to the institution than has already been hoisted.

Part of why records are sealed is the shame put on birth mothers for decisions they made. They can never win in this country. Keep the child and people call you a burden, relinquish the child and they are told they are horrible people. Getting an abortion when you are poor in this country isn’t as easy as you think.

Denise F. C.

Rarely do adults get to choose the optimal thing to do. The best we can do is work for comprehensive birth control, reproductive rights, reform open adoption, take the money out of adoption, and stop the shaming of women and make sure all women regardless of class or race everywhere can be true choice makers.

Joan Mary Wheeler to Denise F. C..

you do not tell me what to do! I do what is right for me! I have been working for adoptees’ civil rights since 1974. I do not support Joyce B. and am taking the opportunity to go public with her character because she must take her personal jealousies and insecurities and step down.

(PS – Ruth’s note – this is the same bullshit reasoning that Joan pulled back in 1994/1995 when she was calling my job repeatedly to get me fired. She got hold of one supervisor and when asked if her complaint had something to do with my job performance – Joan said “no, I just want you people to know what kind of person you have working for you.” The supervisor then told Joan, “I have known Ruth and worked with her for 20 years, her performance on the job is explemary. goodbye.” – by the way, Joan is still doing it – as recently as November 2012, she sent a letter to my job and then bragged about on the internet. (The Huffington Post)

Denise F. C.

Now how did she throw adoptees under the bus?

The thing is if you posted that she did something legislatively you disagreed with or you do not like her betraying confidences, you would have valid arguments that are useful and informative. If it is her style of leadership you do not like, that is a valid topic of conversation.

What you did is to personally smear someone in the movement about something that has nothing to do with the movement. Who cares why she relinquished? Who cares how she feels about it or how she is supposed to feel about it? The only question is how this all helps open records. I do not know why this post would even help you.

It is generally not acceptable to complain how someone betrayed confidences by turning around and betraying theirs.

People who were anti-adoption have always been part of the open records movement but they usually understand that they are most useful to the movement when they keep that separate from open records activism.

No one is forcing you to follow Joyce, but there are better ways to resolve your personal conflict with Joyce than this and certainly better ways of discussing our differences with tactics and strategy.

Joan Mary Wheeler

Joyce B. humiliated me in 2007. She knew that I was suffering from physical illnesses, that my mother was dying, and she knew private things about me. She used my weaknesses against me. I kept quiet for years. Then, last year, Jason Darnieder posted a comment about Joyce attacking him. So I commented on his post. And that is how NY New York State Adoptee Equality began. We were all ousted by Joyce. I did not want to go public last year with all the crap Joyce dished out at me. But now? Hell no! This dictator must Go!

Melinda A. W.

Joan, Stop slandering Joyce..This is so uncool of you..slandering her…I have lost respect for you for posting this on FB..shame on you

Melinda A. W.

 grow up Joan and the rest of you….from a reuntied adoptee who thinks what you are doing is just pathetic.

Joan Mary Wheeler to Melinda A. W. – it is not slander when I am telling the truth.

(Ruth’s note – just like when she wrote her now-dead book slandering me – she said it was the truth, but then I had the police and court documents that proved she was not telling the truth, sent those documents to the publishers, and the publishers killed the book).

Joyce’s ability to lead has been undermined by her personal perception of her own adoption involvement and by how she sees other people. I once thought of her as a leader, but as i got to know her, it became evident she could not lead.

Joan Mary Wheeler

Too bad Melinda A. W. Joyce slandered me for years.

(Ruth’s note – we have only Joan’s word that Joyce has slandered her for years. – see, she is doing to Joyce, EXACTLY what she does to me – “Ruth has been harassing me for YEARS!”)

She must GO. I have never NEVER made a fool of myself in front of legislators. Joyce has made a mockery of herself and of adoptees who have been working very hard for our rights. I myself have been in this since 1974. Joyce is not an adoptee and she needs to go. now.

Melinda A. W.

who are you to tell her to go Joan…seriously..no wonder the bill never passes…

Melinda A. W.

how many times have you been to lobby in Albany and for how many years…

Joan Mary Wheeler

I do not have money to travel. (Ruth’s note: now comes the ploy for sympathy for poor little Joan who has no money).

I write letters and artifices. And make phone calls. I traveled to Albany in 2005-2006 when I was very sick. Joyce tossed me out in 2007. So I’ve been writing articles that have been publi8shed in newspapers. I know what I am doing. (Ruth’s note – see – her sense of “self-importance.”)

Melinda A. W.

 Do you have tape to prove how Joyce made a mockery? I would love to see if for myself….this is your opinion…..why should I trust you..just because you are an adoptee does not give you the last word....Albany will never pass a clean bill…

(Ruth’s note – Melinda – you are my hero!”

Joan Mary Wheeler

Melinda… you were a friend form long ago. Difference of opinion I guess. I have keen insight into vital statistic laws and am doing my own research. (Ruth’s note – self-importance – she has keen insight. yeah, right.)

No one has all the answers. Joyce tossed me out because she didn’t like my activism. Neither do you. So leave.

Joan Mary Wheeler

Melinda, you are so negative. Disappear, You are no help at all.

(Ruth’s note – this is what happens when you disagree or confront Joan – you are told you are worthless and are dismissed).

Denise F. C.

 Joan started this thread without stating her objections in regards to open records. She lead with personal attacks which had nothing to do open records.

She would have done better to cut the personal objections and talk about her legislative concerns.

Joan Mary Wheeler

I’ve been stating my legislative concerns to Joyce when she asked me to join UI in 2005. She got mad and threw me out.

Stephanie M. S.

Is she a first mom?

Joan Mary Wheeler

Yes, Stephanie M. S. Joyce is a mother of adoption loss. She is NOT an adoptee. She does NOT understand the full ramifications of adoptees’ stolen and sealed OBCs NOR does she fully comprehend what the falsified birth certificate does to adoptees. I tried to explain it to her in 2005-2006 and she didn’t like what I said.

(Ruth’s note – Joan tried to ram down Joyce’s throat JOAN’S interpretation of things – and Joyce probably had a different point of view. And this is another example of turning things into a PERSONAL ATTACK – because Joyce had the basic human right to disagree with something Joan the Dictator and the Biggest Know-it-All about Adoption Around, – Joyce didn’t like it.)

Joan Mary Wheeler

Stephanie M. S. – UI has members, but since I was thrown out in 2006 or 2007 I don’t’ recall who is involved. I went to Albany several times and lobbied with UI in what I thought at the time was a an organized and professional effort. However, Joyce was ordering people around back then. When I told her what I wanted as an adopted person, she got mad and threw me out. No compromises on our birth certificates! Joyce sits of the fence. She negotiates with adoption agencies. And when I refused to go along with those negotiations, I was thrown out.YES she needs to voted out. Or thrown out.

 ——–

In conclusion, we birth sisters know Joan for what she is. Some of the adoptees have figured it out on their own – yet others seem to think that because she is an adoptee, her word is golden. Joan says “my birth sisters are crazy and have issues.” And they take her word at face value. Others, with brains, like Melinda and Denise here, DEMAND proof of what Joan says. Again and again they asked her – and again and again – what does Joan do? Tell them to shut up, go away, she knows what she’s taking about, she’s the expert.

WHEN will they people start seriously looking at the fact that Joan needs to be silenced. But she herself comes right back and states…no you can’t tell me to keep quiet…

1. gertmcqueenJune 23, 2015

Yep, this shows Joan’s basic behavior and thinking at its best! Excellent presentation here Ruth!

I have been saying for years, that if someone is in the public eye, fighting for a cause, their personal background and behaviors must be brought forth. That’s called ‘transparency’. But when dealing with Joan one must realize that she bounces from one extreme position to the next without ever realizing that she is contradicting herself. As this post shows clearly, via Joan’s own words and her exchange with other adoptees, Joan is incapable of SEEING her own dysfunctional behavior and thinking.

Just because others do not agree with Joan’s positions doesn’t give Joan the right to slander or libel them. But then again, as I say, a person can’t reason with Joan.

In response to a comment that Joan is ‘slandering’ another adoptee…
Joan says ‘– it is not slander when I am telling the truth.’

See what I mean! Just because Joan BELIEVES something is the truth does NOT make it so. Joan apparently has no conception of what slander/libel is all about, because Joan’s inner self is the only truth she knows.

And then when she is taken to ‘task’ she gets all high and mighty and indignant…

Joan says ‘you do not tell me what to do! I do what is right for me!

Can you see her face getting red and her fists at her side, stomping her feet?

Joan obviously AGREES with me, on transparency’ for here she says…

‘I have been working for adoptees’ civil rights since 1974. I do not support Joyce B. and am taking the opportunity to go public with her character because she must take her personal jealousies and insecurities and step down.’

But then on the other hand Joan would NOT agree with me when it is her character and behavior that is being made public. She’s such a fool!

UPDATE, APRIL 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

 

Joan Wheeler – what is your solution for kids languishing in orphanages and NO family members are taking in? December 10, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
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Joan Wheeler hates the institution of adoption so badly that she wants to eradicate adoption from the entire planet of Earth! What an unrealistic idea. But then, Joan has always been unrealistic in her thoughts, deeds and goals. 

Joan’s “brilliant” solution for a replacement for the act of adopting an orphan is kinship guardianship. Well, that’s all well and good on the surface – but – what if there is a child who HAS no family left at all? Like a child who’s whole family is wiped out by war or an act of nature (earthquake, flood, etc.) – and there ARE many such babies and children who have experienced this. 

OR – as in the case of MY family – when MY mother died, and my father was left with four young children, aged 3 years to 9 years and one three month old infant – extended family members TRIED to help out.  

What does Joan propose for a family such as ours? FORCE an aunt or uncle to raise that infant? I believe that is what she wants – because she forced ME to provide Christmas 1989 for HER kids when I did not give birth to them, nor their legal parent or guardian – explanation: Joan stole money from me in the summer of 1989. In September 1989, she agreed to repay me, we were expecting refund checks from a lawyer for his fee (long story) – Joan agreed that when her check came, she would cash it and turn the entire amount over to me to go towards what she owed me. But, the little lying snake that she is, she called me early December 1989 and informed me (did not ask, but INFORMED me) that she was KEEPING all the money to provide Christmas presents for her kids. Never mind that her husband had a job, was working and SHE refused to get off HER ass and get a part time job to provide for her own kids. NO, she saw $$$ that her sister (me) had coming, but her sister (me) was in a two-income relationship, and her sister had a well-paying job, and therefore her sister’s money should be redistributed to JOAN AND HER FAMILY. So, yeah, money was stolen from me, and then never repaid, because JOAN made a decision on how to spend MY money, therefore I was FORCED to provide Christmas for her kids. 

Here’s a picture of an orphan child:

 adopted kid

What is Joan’s solution for this child?

She wants to eradicate adoption – she thinks that every child should be raised by other family members – um, there were none for this kid – so according to Joan Wheeler, he should stay in the hospital, being raised by nurses until he becomes an adult.  

Good solution there Joan Wheeler. – Totally illogical, stupid and inhumane.

illogical and stupid

1. gertmcqueenDecember 10, 2014

Gert here…good points…as we have said so many times, ADOPTION is here to stay as long as there are HUMANS IN NEED of it.
And Joan thinks NOTHING of interfering in other members of the family for her OWN purposes. Been There, Done That, and she will NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

She violated my parental rights BECAUSE she knew better than me how to raise my children. She called in 2 false child abuse reports on me saying I was UNFIT…SHE did NOT pass the HOME STUDY that I requested on her.

She didn’t do her OWN children any good either…besides MOVING BACK home to her adoptive mother’s home, with her children…where Joan STILL LIVES…she had that mother TAKE CARE of her children while she went off to get another DEGREE PAID FOR BY THAT MOTHER. Then Joan WROTE in a book about how she treated her children, documented CHILD ABUSE SHE did, how she BURNED her children’s stuff, how she attempted SUICIDE in front of her children.
She SHOULD HAVE HAD HER KIDS TAKEN AWAY FROM HER.

Joan Wheeler talks the talk, but can’t (fully) walk the walk. November 23, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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In this video, that Joan posted on youtube today, November 22, 2014, Joan burns her “amended” birth certificate. Or rather a COPY of her amended birth certificate. “Symbolically” she says, because she needs the original as her proof of her legal identity.

Oh come on now Joan – back in the 60’s Vietnam War protesters didn’t burn copies of their draft cards – but burned THEIR ACTUAL DRAFT CARDS – knowing that doing so, would subject them to arrest, prosecution and jail time.

If you believe in your heart in something – don’t do it halfway – do it ALL THE WAY!

1. RuthNovember 23, 2014

if she wants to be known legally as Doris Sippel – there is one solution – get her name changed legally from Joan Wheeler to Doris Sippel. Costs about 4 – 5 hundred dollars. and it’s a fairly easy procedure. She still won’t be a legal member of the Sippel family – nor morally, either – because of her rotten misdeeds and lies she has told about her blood kin – but at least she can answer to the name of Doris. I’ll still refer to her as Joan the Liar.

2. gertmcqueenNovember 23, 2014 [Edit]

Gert here..
yep legally change her name and be done with it, then.

3. gertmcqueenNovember 24, 2014 [Edit]

I asked a friend to look at the vid with me so I could get their impression. They said that, outside of the politics of the issue, just her presentation, after awhile she would get on a person’s nerves. I asked, do you mean her pedagogical skills, (teaching skills) and they agreed also saying she appears to be abrasive.

Looking at it myself for the second time, I did note her body/facial language shows that innate ‘meanness’ she has and that pointing of the finger! And that statement ‘I’m not happy about that’ and her stopping , the action (to start the burning) to make yet another comment.

On the politics of the issue, my friend said, that not ALL adoptees would be burning their birth certifications because there is NO SENSE TO IT. If certain adoptees want changes they have to go to the lawmakers. NOT all adoptions are bad.

I did leave a comment on the YouTube. I said ‘very good’. My reason for doing so is…I DO agree with the politics of open medical records and amended birth certificates. Also, upon reflection, I realized that our father would have done and said the same thing!

 4. RuthNovember 24, 2014

oh – you’re friend pegged her right – that whole finger pointing thing – and her saying, “I’m not happy about that.” is how she talks to you even when you’re having a regular conversation with her – she has a way of belittling a person!
For example, once in the early 80′s – she was at my house, looking through my belly dance scrapbook and she made a comment about one of the dancers’ costume – “I don’t approve of that costume.” – I remember bringing my head up sharply, and thinking “who the hell asked YOUR approval?” – I didn’t verbalize my question, but the feeling of inadequency washed over me – because – as a belly dancer myself, I would wear such a costume – and – and – SHE wouldn’t approve of it. – not that I need HER approval – and I DO have the self confidence to pooh-pooh such statements from such small-minded people – but this is how she is.
And she knows it – but doesn’t care! She said so in her now-dead book – she routinely talked down about people who “don’t get it about adoption” and admits that she did talk down to people.

^^^^

Gert here…May 13, 2016…comments are closed so I’m adding an update 

UPDATE MAY 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor!

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

IN ADDITION I want to share this new update…

SHE CHANGED HER NAME…AND THAT WILL GET HER WHAT?

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2016/05/12/joan-mary-wheeler-has-legally-changed-her-name-to-doris-michol-sippel/

UPDATE NOVEMBER 2016; as older posts are being seen I, Gert, am updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism published in 2009, was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011 due to libelous material in it. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’, being her own editor and owner. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and reedited and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

 

 

Another Chapter in Joan Wheeler’s Revisionist History – how her 9/11 experience changed from a ‘truthful’ account in 2009 to a lie in 2014. September 19, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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Or was it a lie in 2009, and now it’s the truth in 2014 – and will there be another version of the the facts down the road?

 Joan Wheeler says she’s been revising her book Forbidden Family since it’s been pulled from publication in May 2011 for her violating her contract with the publisher – for signing a statement that the book was truthful. And I sent documents to the publisher that proved she lied in the book. — But she’s been revising it – I have asked in the past, how does one revise the truth? Oh, that’s real easy, when you’re Joan Wheeler. Let’s check this out.

 From “Forbidden Family,” page 372, published November 2009, pulled from publication, May 2011.

  “Then came September 11.

  I was working at a crisis center for two years when terrorists attacked our country. I called Mom shortly after 9A.M. and went back to work. My daughter was in school. How would the high school handle this? I thought of my son. he was one month away from home in Navy Boot Camp. Was he safe?

  I put in ten hours of work that day as a crisis counselor. The director found a small black and white TV set with an antenna. She put it on a table in the front of the phone room for the phone counselors. We watched the news with a fuzzy picture, or even just the sound. When calls came in, we helped callers cope with the unfolding tragedy. Toward the middle of the afternoon, we were flooded with calls from people wanting to donate blood and to organize a drive to Ground Zero. I was frightened, tired and ached for my mother and daughter who were alone in the house. When I arrived home, we cried together.”

 Hmmm, a pretty good narration there. A straight-forward account of where she was when the attacks occurred, how she found out about it, and her reaction to the attacks. But let’s see how she narrates that awful Tuesday morning on September 11, 2014 on her facebook page. –

  “On this day 13 years ago, I went to work at Buffalo’s Crisis Services as a telephone crisis phone operator. The day started as usual. We huddled together for morning chats. I broke away to gather up my cup of coffee from the kitchen. As I approached the Phone Room with my coffee, a small crowd of social workers gathered in the hallway. They were crying. One of our own workers had received a call from her brother. He worked on one of the lower floors of the World Trade Center. He escaped. We knew SOMETHING was wrong. We went to work.

  As the morning progressed, we sat at our posts, taking calls. But the Buffalo community was strangely silent. Not many knew what was happening.

  Our two directors scurried around the main office to find a TV. We had an old black and white TV, not cable ready, and placed it in a small table at the front of the room. No picture. Only sound. Sound muffled through the static. We heard the morning progress, but could not see the News unfold.

  When the plane hit the Pentagon, the Phone Room Director came in, stood in front of us, and declared, “This country is under attack!”

  At once, a feeling of shock and horror swept over me. A brief accounting of my immediate family entered my mind: my aging mother at home, my high school age daughter in school, my son in his first month of Navy boot camp.

  But I was at work.

  Whoever sent those planes could target Buffalo: the three bridges to Canada, the Electric Power Plant — WE COULD BE NEXT.

  I suddenly snapped into a crisis-team mode. Straightening up in my chair, I listened to our Directors give us a breakdown of predictions for the morning. Community could call in, frantic, but many will not know as they call in with their own personal crisis. We prepared for blood donors to call. We prepared to set up volunteer groups to assemble. But the morning was slow as calls surprisingly did not come in. Perhaps the city was glued to their TV sets. We had our usual repeat callers. And dead space.

  I called home to tell Mom to turn on her TV. I told her to sit tight and that I’d be home after my shift. But that shift turned from an 8 hour day to a 10 hour day. The afternoon turned to evening. Weary and nervous, I wanted to go home. But I volunteered to stay to help the shift change.

  I worked 10 hour days for the next two weeks.

  When working in a Crisis Center, staff must go through planned de-briefings. We who were on the front line taking in calls, and those who were in Outreach teams sent out in the community, we needed counseling ourselves to center ourselves, find peace, find a way to gather up courage.

  Only one of those people with whom I worked on September 11, 2001, is a Facebook friend today. I honor my dear friend, Michael O. who worked with me and about 8 other Phone Room counselors that first morning shift.

  May we all find peace, somehow, and remember those who died today, 13 years ago.”

 Joan mentions her friend Michael who replies to this facebook post:

Michael O. – “Funny thing about that day…I remember it being fairly quiet on the phone lines.

 Ahh, a more detailed, and REVISED account of what she put forth in the 2009 book, and I suspect this is a passage from her REVISED book-in-the-making. AND this revision contains a very important contradiction. AND quite a lot of extra DRAMA, verbiage, and exaggerations of some quite simple things. I like the one about they were preparing for blood donors to call – um, Crisis Services does not deal with blood donors – the Red Cross does – everybody knows that. Maybe some people would call the Crisis Center to inquire where to donate blood – and wouldn’t they have information about that already on hand – they would have a directory of handy and important community phone numbers and contacts for people and would have the Red Cross info already – so what’s to prepare?

Let’s talk about the added drama – oh, the DRAMA —

  “When the plane hit the Pentagon, the Phone Room Director came in, stood in front of us, and declared, “This country is under attack!”

  At once, a feeling of shock and horror swept over me. A brief accounting of my immediate family entered my mind: my aging mother at home, my high school age daughter in school, my son in his first month of Navy boot camp.

  But I was at work. — and WE COULD BE NEXT!!!!”

 Yes, Buffalo is 20 miles south of a major power plant located in Niagara Falls, NY – but really. I was attending additional training at my employer when the attack happened and left for home around 12:30pm. I will admit to having had some trepidation going down into the subway system, but I’ve always had the attitude that ‘hey! we’re all going to die. I could get killed crossing the street – a car could come out of nowhere and squish me. So, why worry?’ As to my reaction of the attacks – hell, of course, I was shocked and I cried. But I certainly didn’t carry on like Chicken Little. When I got home, my husband had only just gotten out of bed (yes, he used to sleep in on his days off from work, and now that he’s retired, he sleeps til noon. Because I am a night shift worker, and sleep during the day, he keeps the same schedule that I do – so we can be together. But we’re not talking about me – we’re talking about Joan, so let’s get back to her newly revised version of September 11. Let’s see, what point did I want to bring up next? Oh yes, the extra verbiage!

 Extra verbiage – people were gathered in huddles. Joan straightened in her chair. Joan SNAPPED to crisis team mode. People SCURRIED AROUND to find a TV. They must have looked like hamsters or gerbils with all that scurrying.  Compare the two descriptions of watching the news on a older TV set after a set was found after much scurrying:

The 2009 description:“The director found a small black and white TV set with an antenna. She put it on a table in the front of the phone room for the phone counselors. We watched the news with a fuzzy picture, or even just the sound.”

The 2014 account:“Our two directors scurried around the main office to find a TV. We had an old black and white TV, not cable ready, and placed it in a small table at the front of the room. No picture. Only sound. Sound muffled through the static. We heard the morning progress, but could not see the News unfold.”

 Wow – not only did the director increase herself to two people, (The director found a small black and white TV … 2009) (Our two directors scurried around the main office to find a TV …. 2014), but the TV reception changed from being a fuzzy picture or no picture but with sound – to NO picture, only sound in 2014. AND the extra verbiage – Sound muffled through the static. We heard the morning progress, but could not see the News unfold.” – but, but, didn’t Joan say this in 2009? – “We watched the news with a fuzzy picture, or even just the sound.”

 So which is it Joan? Did you WATCH the news or not? Okay readers, this may seem like a really small point here, that I’m nitpicking about – but I’m setting this up – so you can see how Joan CHANGES THE FACTS AROUND TO SUIT HER. AND DEPENDING ON WHO SHE KNOWS IS READING WHAT SHE WRITES — AND I’m preparing you for the biggest contradiction of all –

from the 2009 version of the FACTS:
Toward the middle of the afternoon, we were flooded with calls from people wanting to donate blood and to organize a drive to Ground Zero.

 from the 2014 version of the FACTS:

But the morning was slow as calls surprisingly did not come in. Perhaps the city was glued to their TV sets. We had our usual repeat callers. And dead space.

 Okay, she says the morning was slow, but in the 2014 version, she does not even mention the afternoon. Hmmm, I wonder why? Because she says so – right on Facebook:
Only one of those people with whom I worked on September 11, 2001, is a Facebook friend today.
Joan KNOWS better than to play fast and loose with the FACTS with someone who was there that day – someone who is A PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR. And he confirms the 2014 version –

Michael O. – Funny thing about that day…I remember it being fairly quiet on the phone lines.

 But – there’s still that 2009 version of the FACTS – which are quite different than the 2014 version – so that means that JOAN DID INDEED LIE IN HER 2009 BOOK AND THAT IS WHY THAT BOOK IS DEAD.- Because she said in 2009 that they were FLOODED WITH CALLS – but Michael says it was fairly quiet on the phone lines.

MY, MY, MY JOAN – YOU GOT TRIPPED UP THERE. STICK TO THE TRUTH ALWAYS, AND YOU’LL NEVER GET TRIPPED UP!

page 372

Joan 911a

joan 911b

joan911c

.

.

.1. gertmcqueenSeptember 19, 2014

Gert here…excellent presentation of evidence
I would also point people’s attention to the first paragraph of the copy from the book…Joan’s self assessment of her symptoms of mental illness! If she was trying to prove something…that adoption caused her life to be a torment…why did she WRITE about it? Where were all those mental health experts she KNEW and went to? Didn’t anyone every HELP her? No…because Joan is an exaggerator and a manipulator and a liar!

.

 

 

 

Never Trust Anyone Who Always Blames Everyone Else for Everything Wrong in Their Life (like Joan Wheeler does) September 11, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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don't trust blamers

right – if you listen to Joan Wheeler carefully – you will notice that everything bad in her life is because of what OTHER people have done. NOTHING in her life is because of a choice that she herself has made. And if you listen very closely – you will notice that anything bad in her life has been caused by me. I get fucking blamed for everything – even when I’m sleeping and not even thinking of her. – Correction – everything bad in her life happened because she was adopted – after her adoption, everything bad in her life is because of Ruth. Ruth did this, Ruth did that. Then she’ll blame her other birth sisters. I could be under anesthetics, having surgery done, but she’ll still say that at that moment in time – I did something to her.

observation – gosh – it had been almost two years since Joan called my job – for the umpteenth time – to get me fired. She’s slacking! – I wonder what she’ll do when I retire – she’ll have no plaything – her life will be soooo bereft without her 20 year habit of calling my job with false accusations.

UPDATE, APRIL 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

UPDATE JULY 2017; I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

Also see this Facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family-Adoptee-Duped-Adoption/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/-/1/ref=cm_cd_fp_rvt?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW

Joan Mary Wheeler forum 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/forum/cd/forum.html/ref=cm_cd_rvt?ie=UTF8&cdForum=Fx3T0YAD0KXNPP5

review of first book and 4 comments

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family-Joan-M-Wheeler/dp/1412061547

end

 

 

Joan Wheeler LIES again – about her “employment” credentials! August 12, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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Joan Wheeler LIES again – about her “employment” credentials!

 Today, August 12, 2014, Joan writes this about the suicide of Robin Williams:

 “As a former suicide prevention and survivor counselor, this is hitting me pretty hard. “

 What a lying bitch! She NEVER worked as a suicide prevention and survivor counselor, she has gone on record on the internet to say that she worked as a VOLUNTEER answering telephones at the Crisis Services Center –

She has also said in her book and on the internet that she herself has considered suicide. She had expressed suicidal thoughts to me in person in 1986. How the hell can she talk someone out of killing themselves when she herself is so fucked up.

 Joan routinely engages in “resume padding” all over the place. She has not had gainful employment since the mid 90’s when she worked for a short time as a skip tracer for a private investigator. Her ex-husband has said that one of the reasons they got a divorce was because she refused to “get off her lazy ass and get a job.”

She did go to college to get a social work degree, but HAS NEVER WORKED A DAY IN HER LIFE AS A SOCIAL WORKER, despite her saying all over the internet that she has, and is. At the same time that she claims to BE a social worker, she admits to be receiving Social Security Disability because she CANNOT WORK DUE TO HER MULTIPLE PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS!

 Joan Wheeler is nothing but a lying sack of shit.

 

1. gertmcqueenAugust 12, 2014 [Edit]

Gert here…
Joan is currently resume padding and using the death of Robin Williams for SHOW. She has a NEW love, so she HAS to present to this sucker that she has the knowledge and know-how, that she FEELS. What a bunch of BS!

Joan has been on the look out for a NEW LOVE ever since that last NEW LOVE turned out to be a drunk and abusive…gosh only last year! And so, she is enthralled with a NEW NEW LOVE and is all gushy with her vast experiences…NOT.

Joan NEEDS someone to fix her house, help pay her bills, cause she doesn’t have any $$ and she needs to be fucked every so often and so since that last one ‘bit the dust’ she’s been FIRST in isolation, licking her self-inflicted wounds, and SECOND getting out there, leaving her REAL love of adoption reform, on the door step UNTIL she found a new SUCKER.

Oh I forgot…she NEEDS someone to cover the cost of the publishing of her NEW AND IMPROVED MEMOIR. Can we say SUCKER?

 

Joan Wheeler continues to drag me into her useless conversations about adoption problems! August 12, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Today, on facebook, Joan writes, in a discussion about a book (not her own piece of shit libelous mouthings of raving lunacy, but somebody else’s book:

 Joan M Wheeler (to) Hilbrand W.S. Westra – “you are so very right. I noticed this, too, but didn’t say so publicly as the author is a friend of mine. I think she knows exactly the point you make. And yes, we need to stop pointing fingers at adoptees as the source of our own problems. Adoption itself is the problem from which all others stem. HOWEVER, for many adoptees, like me, who are half orphans or full orphans, one or both of our parents actually did die. That problem was fully discussed by Ken Watson (RIP) at an AAC conference circa 1990. I was dissolved to tears, yet, our good friend, René Hoksbergen nudged me forward to talk with Ken that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings, compounded by adoption soon afterward. And yes, compounded by adopters’ ignorance and willful deception.”

 okay, in this discussion that I really don’t have any interest in, – she SLAMS her birth siblings again by saying “…that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings …”

 Excuse me Joan, I most certainly do NOT have any lifelong problems due to the death of my mother. WHERE is your evidence that I have lifelong problems? I”M not the one constantly harassing people, YOU are. I’M not the one on Social Security Disability because of “psychological problems” – YOU are. I’M not the one who bounces from man to man and has an alchohol problem – That’s YOU. I’M not the one who has been in therapy for more 30 years – YOU are. — The three times I requested counseling – 1. grief counseling after miscarrying my son, 2. seeking advice on PTSD in Veteran’s, as my husband has nightmares due to his years in Vietnam, and 3. overload of stress in 2003 after my husband’s open heart surgery, and the deaths of 6 family members in rapid succession, beginning in the end of July 2003 to the middle of October 2003 and my father’s open heart surgery two and a half months after my husband’s surgery. In all three times – I went to only THREE therapy sessions, lasting only an hour each time – (three hours of therapy for Ruth, compared to years and years for Joan) – and each therapist told me that I was a well-adjusted person. SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH ABOUT ME JOAN.

 Earlier today, in response to a facebook post by the comic magazine Cracked about the suicide of Robin Williams, I wrote the following:

 “Cracked.com says: ‘Every time they make a joke around you, they’re doing it because they instinctively and reflexively think that’s what they need to do to make you like them. They’re afraid that the moment the laughter stops, all that’s left is that gross, awkward kid everyone hated on the playground.’

 (my response) – well, I was the gross, awkward kid on the playground that nobody liked and everybody bullied. I have scars from the bullying. I just turned 62 and there are times I remember the names and it still hurts. But I took life on and said “fuck this shit.” I turned my ugly duckling younger self – the one the other girls in school called ugly and became a graceful belly dancer. I became a health care worker because I have compassion.

 I will never commit suicide, because that would be giving in. I will never poison my body with stupid drugs. I will never turn a gun on myself (or others). I will never hang myself. I try new things. I wish I had more money to try more new things. I want to see more of the world. It’s such a beautiful and exciting world – I want to see Paris, Rome, Athens, Rio de Janieros – the Great Wall of China – the tomb of Tutankhamun –

I’m sorry that Robin took the route he did. I loved him as an actor and comedian. I wish he had not done what he did.”

 I also wrote this last night regarding the speculation that Robin Williams depression may have been linked to his heart disease and surgery, and he was feeling vulnerable:

 “John had heart surgery in 2003. He was not, is not depressed. Nor does he take drugs, nor does he drink. We both have an occasional beer or wine.

 Robin Williams said that he felt “vulnerable.” Not sure what he meant by that. Every surgery can be potentially dangerous. Lots of people go thru surgery every day all over the world.

 We can’t be inside another human’s head to figure out what is going on. All I can do is comment from my own experiences. I’ve had several surgeries, and came out not feeling vulnerable. And so has John – and John was scared shitless. Imagine not ever having surgery before – and your very first surgery is heart surgery. Perhaps John has a strong will – after all, he was a Navy Seal in Vietnam for six years. Takes a special kind of man for that job.

 Life is tough. Ya gotta meet it head on. Or get plowed under. I refuse to get plowed under. “

 AND before learning about Robin Williams’ suicide, I had just written the following rebuttal to actor Russell Brand’s “excuse” for drug abuse:

 “I disagree – everybody knows by now how harmful drugs are. You are not born with drugs in your system – YOU made the conscious decision to PUT the drugs into your body. Everybody knows these substances are highly addictive – but, YOU chose to put them into your body. If this “illness” causes you to steal your own mother’s rent money (I know someone on my street who did that) or do the shit my exBFF did to me – and you see these things happening again and again to people in your neighborhood, you read about the theft and violence and greed that taking and selling drugs does not only to the user, but those around them – WHY would you even start taking that shit? I am 62 years old, and outside of smoking some weed, I have NEVER taken drugs, don’t want to take that shit and will never be a drug addict – not even to prescription pain pills, because I take those guys for needed pain relief, then wean myself off that shit.

 My body is my temple – the only bad shit I put into it is coffee, pizza and chocolate – IN MODERATION – and they don’t cause me to steal from people, lie to my loved ones, or treat my loved ones like shit.

 STAY THE FUCK OFF DRUGS”

The only problems I have right now – are dealing with the fact that Joan REFUSES to stop dragging me into her crap. – Shut the fuck up about me Joan.

never give up

This is what I live by – NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER. Joan on the other hand, dissolves into tears, gets the shakes, is overwhelmed, is stunned, is shocked and runs to the bottle. (her own words in her stupid book and on various places on the internet).

And check out this other recent development from Joan’s lying mouth. 

 

Joan Wheeler LIES again – about her “employment” credentials!

.

1. gertmcqueenAugust 12, 2014 [Edit]

Gert here…

Joan Wheeler said…
“…that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings …”

Since when does she get the right to diagnosis ANYONE’s problems! She is NOT qualified to state that her siblings have ANY PROBLEMS. While the loss of OUR mother caused each of us PAIN, it does not equate to having ‘lifelong problems’. Joan knows NOTHING about my life, period. What ever she thinks she knows…is in and comes from her diseased mind!

From the MOMENT that Joan was reunited with the birth family, it was SHE that created ALL THE PROBLEMS. It was SHE who said I was WRONG to ADOPT my own son, that I was an unfit mother, and more. It was SHE who called false child abuse upon me, twice.It was SHE who REFUSED to go to mediation to SOLVE the problems BETWEEN US. It was SHE who asked my grown daughter to COMMIT A CRIME for her! It was SHE who continuously REFUSED to leave me and others alone.

It was SHE who wrote a libelous book BECAUSE everyone HURT HER! And SHE imagined getting rich and famous on the backs of family and friends! Every time SHE speaks SHE insults and drags the siblings in the dirt!

And that is why we siblings have blogs…where the TRUTH comes out.

 

I am so bad that I can do things in my sleep, then I must read Joan Wheeler’s tweets to find out what I’ve done. lol June 27, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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love rumors – one day in January 2013, while I was sound asleep – apparently I had done so much stuff in my sleep, I had to go to Joan Wheeler’s twitter page to find out what I did. ~~~ 

I have copied and pasted here, a past blogpost because I found this great meme on facebook. This all came about in January 2013, when I went to bed, and got up several hours to find out on twitter, that while I was asleep, I had been very busy doing shit to Joan. (would someone please lobotomize her?) – anyway, I just had to revisit this blog post, because – several of “that family unit that avoids me and wants nothing to do with me” (as per asshole Joan Wheeler) are now facebook freinds with me, and several months ago, one of them even REFUTED what Joan said. My cousin Dennis said, “no ever said they didn’t want you around.” But Joan likes to lie about everybody and everything.

anyways, here is an account of Joan going nutty on public internet:

Joan Wheeler goes nutty on Twitter and accuses Ruth once again of doing something she didn’t do. January 31, 2013

Joan goes nutty on Twitter and accuses Ruth once again of doing something she didn’t do. by Gert and Ruth

Gert: Too much happening at present to make proper blog post. I would like to inform those that would like to follow the unfolding circumstances and that have access to tweeter to go to the following tweeter addresses and look at the ‘tweets’and you can make what you want of them. Personally, Joan Wheeler is seriously off the deep edge! Look from Jan 24th to present…more developing and will report when able.

addresses On twitter

@gertmcqueen

@ruthsippelpace

@forbiddenfamily (this is Joan Wheeler)

also topics are #

#adoptee

#adoptees

#adoption

#ForbiddenFamily

#JoanWheeler

Ruth here –January 31, 2013, 1:00am at home, not work. –Never mind all that –here are the actual tweets. But first an explanation.

On Saturday, January 26, my cousin’s husband was killed in a car accident. As I had to work Saturday night, 7pm, I did not see the news. The next day Sunday, I slept all day and I was off that night, but still did not see the news nor hear of the death. I slept Monday, worked Monday night, 7pm. still ignorant of the death. At 2am Tuesday, January 29, I was slightly injured at work. The ER gave me med and sent me home. I got home around 4am and went straight to bed. I got up between 10:30am 11:00am. Got a cup of coffee, turned on computer and was reading Twitter. When some of Joan’s tweets got on my newsfeed. and I read that I was using this death to spread rumors about her. I’m like, WHAT THE HELL DID I DO? AND WHO THE HELL DIED? AND HOW AM I SPREADING RUMORS WHEN I JUST WOKE UP? –So I called my cousin Nancy and asked “did someone in the family die?”and she told me. I then called Becky, the aunt of the widow, and spoke briefly to her.

Now –this side of the family is MY godmother –her son Dennis, used to be close to Joan. Their children used to be close to each other. This was like 20 years ago. But then Joan started dictating to Dennis how to raise his kids and he said shut the hell up. It was Dennisdaughter Melissa, who lost her husband the other day. Mielissa has a 4 year old little girl.

Now growing up, my family didn’t have a car. This family lived way out in the suburbs where we couldn’t get to them. But we saw them occasionally. The last time Gert and Dennis saw each other was when they were kids, some 50 –60 years ago. And Gert moved out of Buffalo in 1982. For myself, in the 90′s into the early 2000′s most times I didn’t have a car, so I didn’t see the family that much.

In December 2012, I got a call from Nancy and she said, there was a family get-together at The Country Buffet sponsored by that side of the family and they wanted me to come but didn’t have my new phone number. Nancy said she had gotten like 3 or 4 calls from them to call me but didn’t have a chance to call me because she recently had carpal tunnel surgery.

So I go to the brunch and two cousins asked if Joan was coming and I said no, and they expressed relief. Another cousin expressed anger at Joan, another cousin said he wanted to punch Joan’s lights out for what she wrote in the book.

Now pay attention to these particular tweets: numbers, 3, 6, 8 and 9.

#3 –she’s describing MY godmother, Melissa’s grandmother that “she doesn’t know her grandaughter’s husband died and it will kill her.”um, is Joan part of that immediate family? Is it HER business to saying stuff like that?

#9. “aunt is 86 years old, has dementia, sees my (dead) mother.”How the hell does Joan know what’s going on in another person’s mind?

#8. and #9 –these are the tweets that Joan is using this family tragedy as a springboard to further slam me and Gert. She says the father of the widow (Dennis) avoids us. WRONG –he simply hasn’t seen Gert since he was a kid! And we just saw each other 5 weeks ago!

now here, read these things and decide for yourself if Joan is sane or not:

1. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

That little girl is now a half orphan. Too many, too many.

10:12 AM –29 Jan 13 ·

2. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Can’t be on Facebook now. Too many deaths since Sept. Very sad. In shock. Another 2nd cousin, adopted fam, died, father of 2 yr old daughtr

3. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Trauma. Sadness. Generational. Must see Aunt soon to tell her I love her. She does’nt know, would kill her: granddaughter lost husband.

4. 19mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Yes. Another new half orphan. This one will not be given up for adoption. I don’t blame my Dad for giving me up. His wife died.

5. 22mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Please pray for Mom who lost her husband Sat morn. She’ll need family around her, her sisters, brothers, now keep her safe. Await memorial.

6. 26mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Will they butt into this family tradegy? Yes, we are all family. They are not wanted in this family group. My Twitter friends, please pray.

7. 27mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

My sisters are on Twitter. Blocked them. They will get these Tweets to spread rumors I am causing trouble. Father of new widow avoids them.

8. 29mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Wonder if anyone will suggest to my 2nd cousin that her “4 yr old daughter needs 2 parents”so give her up for adoption?

9. 30mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Ripples…My Aunt, 86, pregnant at same time my Mom was, sees my Mom when she sees me. Dementia now. Doesn’t know about granddaughter’s loss

10.33mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Ripple effect. My mother died when I was 3 months old. Grievinf father told to give me up for adoption because I “needed 2 parents”. WTF

11. 34mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Too much trauma. Ripple effect. My daughter, age 26, grieves along side of her cousin. They shared a childhood. Death, loss, nightmares.

12. 36mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Another death. Young father killed in car crash, leaving behind wife, age 26, and 4 year old daughter. The wife is my 2ndcousin, by blood.

13. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

For what purpose is it to remake a child’s birth certificate in adoption? You have new custody..is that enough? Guardianship keeps inline

14. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

there is no god. To take away a child’s father id creul. You took away y mother + gave me new one. Fuk’ed me over. Another one now.

15. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Death…you come upon us when we think we know time. You took my mother when I was a babe. Yu took my cousin’s hubby + left a 4 yr old: why

16. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Death be not proud! Do not take the widows and the children and make them puppets for the adoption mills! Not one more lost to adoption

17. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

As I watch the new half orphans march passed me, I see their tiny faces and think: you have people who will not stand for you to be adopted

18. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

I cannot control my grief. too many deaths. too much loss, too much, too much. There is no reaason.

19. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

I grieve for my 2nd cousin’s husband, dead in car accident. Gone too soon. Wife and child left behind. Momma, like you, they died too soon.

comments to this blog post:

1. RuthJanuary 31, 2013

oh –don’t forget how Joan says that side of the family doesn’t me around –but they called Nancy 3 or 4 times to make sure I came to the family brunch on Dec. 23, 2012.

 me and Judy

me (left) and cousin Judy (right) at the family brunch, Dec. 23, 2012. photo taken by Rebecca Herr Snyder (Becky), she who Joan says doesn’t want me around. (then why is she taking my picture?) AND many of my relatives asked about Gert and Kathy, how they are, what are they doing, etc.

2. gertmcqueen –January 31, 2013 [Edit]
These tweets of Joan
’s plus those she wrote BEFORE are nothing but the ravings of a mad person! This is WHAT is in that now dead book! Rants of a diseased mind, who throws temper fits over gun-violence and a CNN reporter or whatever she is mad about, not having a original birthcertificate and the birth siblings. Joan is a mental case, she is ON NY state disability cause she can’t work at anything. She never worked as a social worker, and she can not help any one because of her VIEW of life.

Her friends are not helping her by encouraging her work in the realm of adoption reform, but then again, those friends of Joan’s are nothing but bullies because they go after people who ADOPT, like that’s a crime! Joan is ABUSING HERSELF and her friends stand by and DO NOTHING to help her! It sometimes amazes me how downright STUPID these people are…everyone knows when to pull the soldier off the battlefield, but these stupid adoption reform people actually KEEP Joan and her mental ravings go PUBLIC, like that is HELPING.

3. Ruth

I said if before –in regards to when I point out a LIE that Joan has said in the book or the internet and I back up what I say with an actual city court document (as opposed to Joan who has offered absolutely NO proof of ANYthing she has said about me: those who continue to say Joan Wheeler is the best thing since sliced bread and her birth sisters are sick in the head THEY are as cracked in the head as Joan is. To be in law enforcement, and read that Joan Wheelerr VIOLATED THE LAW by calling someonejob to lob false accusations of computer fraud, read that Joan Wheeler PUBLICLY ADMIT on the internet that it was indeed she who contacted my employer, and don’t recognize that deed as AGGRAVED HARASSMENT 2 –PHONE/TELEGRAPH/WRITTEN COMMUNICATION TO ALARM –well, I think that person is a piss-poor law enforcement agent.

AND that law enforcement agent should know that ALL evidence should be looked at –I wonder if she EVER took the time to EXAMINE the court documents that I have posted over and over on this blog –then compare it to what Joan has said.

Joan says in a letter she wrote to Albany NY Child Protective Services that I was placed on six month probation in 1993. ON the internet and the book she’s saying that I was placed on a one year order of protection. When in reality it was a six month order of protection ACD –

If those are the kinds of law enforcement agents they have in California –STUPID –then I will keep my little behind right here in New York State. –because that particular person IS MOST DEFINITELY AS CRACKED IN THE HEAD AS JOAN WHEELER!

Joan Wheeler behaves just like the ranting lunatic in the “racist rant” video June 7, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, mental illness.
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I don’t know how many of my readers are aware of the youtube video of a woman going off on a racist rant in Cheektowaga, New York. Cheektowaga is a suburb of Buffalo, NY, and the incident took place at the Airport Plaza, about 3 miles from my home. I don’t know the woman and I’m glad I don’t. I don’t know the man she was screaming at either.

 The incident occurred on Friday, May 30, 2014. The man started his van, startling the woman’s son. The woman started yelling at the man that he scared her son. She then proceeded to call him a “n” – yes – the N word that shows clearly she is a racist. The man picked up his cell phone and began filming her – and she kept insulting him, turning her back on him while she got on her cell phone to call someone. All the while she kept calling the man “N” and then says she doesn’t like black people and her children don’t either. Then she gets her children to swear at him. The children are very young, and while their mother is busy with her racist rant, begin to show signs of shock, confusion, and being frightened.

 The man in the van calmly tells the woman “great, now you have your children swearing at me.” and continues to video the woman. The woman, is talking to someone on her cell phone but telling the black guy it’s the police, the children’s father, her husband, and her lawyer – she can’t seem to make up her mind who she is talking to.

 She’s also taking in non-sequitor (nonsensical) statements. Nowhere does the black man say he knows the police, but she starts yelling/talking to whoever on her cell phone “Oh HE knows the cops. How many cops have I stripped for?”

 She’s worked herself up into a rage and threatens to throw hot coffee on the man, who then rolls up the window of his van, but then lowers it. Meanwhile, she’s still ranting and raving.

 In the story published in The Buffalo News, published on June 5, 2014, the man says he was shocked by how her anger escalated.

 The man did post the video to youtube, and the woman called a talk radio and identified herself and said she was bi-polar. Because she identified herself, some people tracked down her address and put it on the internet. Rocks were being thrown at her house, her children threatened. AND Child Protective Services took her children away earlier this week. I don’t know the reasons why – probably because in the video she is neglecting them, telling them to call a strange man names and basically put them in danger because of her stupid behavior.

 Now we can get into the discussion of race, and the responsibilites and consequences of a parents actions another time. And I’ve been debating this on the facebook page of WGRZ-TV, a local news station that did a story on this earlier this week. And on the youtube channel that put out this video.

 What I want to discuss here – is how this woman’s behavior mirrors that of a person that I know very well – the person of whom this blog is about – Joan Wheeler.

 But first – let’s take a look at this now famous video – it went viral, and by this evening (Friday, June 6, 2014) and had 7 million views.

 

 

So, have you watched it? I hope you did, because otherwise you won’t understand what I am going to say.

 Notice in the beginning of the video, not the beginning of the incident, because the young man didn’t do anything wrong, only started his car, and has this white woman begin calling him racist names, and then starts the video. Because of what happened to Trayvon Martin in Florida, and a couple of recent police brutality cases in Buffalo, one involving a young black man, I’m sure this man’s instinct was to get documentation of what was happening.

 The woman is merely being a dumbass making a racist comment. Soon she works herself up into a rage and is fairly frothing at the mouth when she walks up to the man’s van and gets into his face and insults him again.

 The man is not getting out of his car, not getting into a screaming match with her, but trying calmly to get his point across – that racism is alive and well in Cheektowaga – and every time he says something – she tries to shut him down.

 THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT JOAN WHEELER DOES! EVERYTHING THE WOMAN IN THE VIDEO IS SHOWN DOING IS EXACTLY WHAT JOAN WHEELER DOES – I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN HER IN ACTION!

 The conversation starts out fairly civilized, but once Joan sees that you disagree with her, or are not obeying her – she begins to get agitated. Begins the swearing and screaming. You stand there, not believing what has just happened. She’s now frothing at the mouth and screaming so hard you can’t get a word in edgewise. If you are on the phone with her – the rant ends by Joan slamming the phone on you – leaving you shaking in anger and shock.

 As to the non-sequitar statement made on the video about the man knowing cops and she strips for cops – Joan also does this. Out of the clear blue sky, Joan will say something and you don’t know what the hell she is talking about.

 The woman in the video called a radio talk show and said she is bi-polar. Well so is Joan. And? So we are supposed to take this kind of verbal abuse because THEY are bi-polar?

 On November 3, 2009, I called Joan on the phone to tell her that our Aunt Doris had died. I didn’t know Joan’s phone number, so I called my father. Knowing that a few months prior to this, he had kicked Joan out of his house and life, I didn’t know if he still had her phone number. So I called him up and asked him. He sounded tired and I said that I would call Joan and tell her about Aunt Doris. He gave me the number and I called her.

Me: “Joan, this is Ruth.”

Joan: “how did you get this number?”

Me: “from Dad.”

Joan: “NOT a good idea.”

Me: “Whatever. Anyway, I’m calling to tell you that Aunt Doris died the other day and I thought you should know.”

(now up to this point, both me and Joan are talking calmly, although she was a bit snippy when she said that it was NOT a good idea that Dad had given me the number). We continue with the conversation —

Joan: “Thank you for that, (calmly), — BUT YOU HAVE NO FUCKING %$$#&**(^^%% (now she’s yelling and I can’t even make out what she’s saying) AND FUCK YOU AND #$%$%^&&^%%$#@!!!!!!”

What did the Buffalo News say about the young man making the video? That he was shocked by how the woman’s anger escalated? Well, that was I how I felt when I was being subjected to this barrage of verbal abuse! I still had my email from our Uncle Rich telling me that Aunt Doris (not his wife, but his late brother’s ex-wife) had passed. I remember staring at Doris’ name (Joan’s birth name was Doris, named for Aunt Doris, and that’s why I thought, no, KNEW that it was important that Joan be told of her passing. Silly me, I didn’t think that I would get this kind of thanks). I kept staring at my computer screen and hearing Joan going off on a rampage. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO WRONG??? I actually burst into tears, but Joan did not hear me crying, because she was too busy yelling unintelligible insults at me. I finally did hear and understand something about “AND YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY SISTER…!!!”

It was at this point I yelled back at her – “BITCH – YOU DON’T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD SISTER!” and hung up on her.

 What Joan Wheeler did to me on that day was bully me by subjecting me to verbal abuse. And I will not tolerate it. I don’t care what your problem is – bi-polar, whatever – YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO ABUSE OTHER PEOPLE THEN USE YOUR ILLNESS AS AN EXCUSE!

 Get your ass on meds and get the hell away from me and other people who are simply going about their lives.

scares me too

1. gertmcqueenJune 7, 2014

Gert here…
excellent! When I saw that video I said to self, ‘just like Joan’! She does it in person, on the phone, on paper, on the internet! In recently years she’s been scanning news items on yahoo and ranting and raving, she goes by the name ADOPTEEFEDUP and she lets everyone know how fed up she is. She gets angry to any comment CONTRARY to her own belief! If another counters her, she insults them, over and over again. When another says she’s bitter, she counters she is NOT bitter, she has 40 years experience, she knows what she’s talking about, she, she, she…

Joan recently put up a NEW photo of herself…she has all the signs of old age and dis-ease! She’s not long for this world if she doesn’t STOP her anger and hate and behavior.

 

UPDATE, MARCH 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

no, Joan Wheeler and friends, you can’t argue against or about facts. May 15, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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I found this meme on facebook – and it fits right in this blog.

FACTS DEBATE

so – have I ever been in this kind of debate? – absolutely – with those friends of Joan Wheeler who simply cannot think that Joan lies about me – despite me posting actual court documents that prove that she did lie. I call those people ASSHOLES. Assholes like Mara Rigge, Brian Maloney, Dana Sielhan, Lori Corangelo, Russell Thomas, Heather Holmes.

People – FACTS ARE FACTS AND CANNOT BE CHANGED, NO MATTER HOW MUCH A PERSON LIES ABOUT THEM. And if you can’t figure that out – I call you a delusional asshole.

And I see I titled this post wrong because, Joan and your idiot friends – you can’t argue AGAINST facts. Facts are facts. Two plus two equals four. Joan Wheeler is the evil person, NOT her birth sisters. If you can’t accept the facts and the truth that Joan Wheeler is a liar, a thief, a bitch, a trouble-maker, a filthy gossiper, you are delusional idiots.

That last frame – where the guy gives up – that’s what Joan does to a person – she will harp and harp on you, scream at you, wear you down, until you fucking give up – because she’s a dam control freak. But she doesn’t control me. After more than 25 years of being silenced by her – my truth – THE FACTS OF WHO HARASSED WHOM AND WHAT WAS DONE AND WHO THE REAL FUCKING LIAR IS – is coming out via this blog. Joan Wheeler can’t silence me anymore. And she can’t stand that. oh too bad.

1. gertmcqueenMay 16, 2014

Gert here…I wrote a four parter on Facts are Stubborn Things…they are here on Ruth’s blog on Nov 10, 2010

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/11/10/

Joan Wheeler and her buddy Dana lament over their miserable lives April 24, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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Interesting conversation on facebook this week – Joan and her buddy Dana –

Dana says she’s fat and therefore not a human being. Then she says she not self-sustainable. Joan chimes in that she also is not self-sustainable, then mouths nonsense about a woman she knew that had a happy marriage, two kids with one on the way and was heavy and happy.

I can’t put my finger on it, but the whole conversation seems -I don’t know, a self-defeatist attitude shoved on facebook so all can see what losers they think of themselves.

Dana says she’s fat, therefore she’s not a human being. Both her and Joan are not self-sustaining. They both seem to recognize that that is a problem. But neither one talks about solutions. Dana seems to be lamenting that she’s fat and broke. Joan offers no solutions to her buddy and laments that she too is broke. Then talks about another woman who is heavy and happy.

Misery loves company so they say. And this conversation bears that out. If I hadn’t seen this on the internet, I probably would had overheard this taking place in a bar – two down and out women, blubbering on about their “problems” and getting drunk. And neither one coming up with a solution or even bolstering each other’s self-esteem.

 

I don’t know anything about Dana’s personal life, but I know some of Joan’s – and she’s a frequent patron at bars. Well, that’s the lifestyle she chose. And if that’s the choices in life she makes, that’s up to her. And if she’s suffering – that’s her choice as well. – There is nothing in her life that is a result of ANYthing that I, or her other birth sisters “did” to her.

Joan loves to blame her miserable life on her birth sisters. And in particular, me. It’s always “Ruth did this and Ruth did that.”

Well, besides saying that Ruth did NOT do anything that Joan likes to accuse her of – what of it? Joan falsely accuses Ruth of driving past her house. – Let’s say I did drive past her house – how is that contributing to Joan’s lousy life?

Joan falsely accused Ruth of using her employer’s computers to go on the internet and visit Joan’s website – an accusation that was proven false – because my employer can trace every keystroke I do. So even I did use a hospital computer and visit Joan’s website – how would that contribute to Joan’s lousy life? – oh come on Joan – knock your shit off. I know for a fact that you read my blog – I still have my job, my house, my husband. I still got bills to pay, repairs to do in my house, etc. etc. etc. – In other words: I HAVE A LIFE AND I LIVE IT. I may bitch about Joan here on this blog, but I still live my life.

Joan has no life – her life consists of bitching and moaning about her lot in life – that she was adopted, that nobody understands her, her birth sisters don’t like her, her adopted parents lied to her and blah blah blah.

Gods, Joan, stuff it.

. gertmcqueen – April 24, 2014

Gert here…
leaving the weight issue out of it…

it appears to me that they NEED a man and a relationship to be fulfilled,

I have picked up over time that many of those angry adoptees have major medical issues, because they are angry all the time.

It is interesting that Joan says NOTHING about the new relationship, that’s a secret, maybe there ISN’T one. If Joan isn’t self sustainable, how does she’s think she’ll keep a man? She has been UN-successful as of yet!

2. RuthApril 25, 2014

Joan may not be saying anything about a relationship because she wants to keep her birth sisters from knowing anything about her life and commenting on it. But it’s okay for Joan to comment about OUR lives to strangers – it’s okay for JOAN to get in cohoots with puppets, tell them 30 year old gossip about me having a fight with someone way back in 1979.
OR
Joan has NO relationship with a new man, and just threw that out to see our reaction.
Personally I don’t give a shit if she has a new man or not. I just want Joan to simply shut her mouth about me and stop telling lies about me to everyone she meets – in person or on the internet.

PS – thank you Gert for correcting my spelling mistake in the title of this post – I mixed up “their” and “there” – you know, I can’t be perfect all the time.

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