Joan Mary Wheeler has a written an article for “Dissident Voice” titled “End Identity Theft Caused by Adoption.” August 23, 2015Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: adoption, legal name change, original birth certificates
Joan Mary Wheeler has a written an article for “Dissident Voice” titled “End Identity Theft Caused by Adoption.”
It is a topic that Joan and other adult adoptees are very passionate about. And it is a topic that most people don’t think about because they haven’t experienced it or don’t know anyone who has.
Joan correctly points out that when people (usually adoptees) don’t have their original birth certificate (OBC), all sorts of problems arise. And many of those problems surfaced after the Homeland Security Act.
My own husband experienced these problems. He was born to an unwed teenage girl in 1943. He was not adopted, but due to shoddy paperwork by his family he was registered in Catholic grammer school under his step-father’s last name when his mother married the step-father. That step-father never adopted my husband – everyone just gave my husband that last name and that was that.
During the Vietnam War, when my husband was of age, he enlisted under that ‘assumed’ name. He was issued a social security number under that name and all his military papers, and subsequent documents throughout his adult life (driver’s license, employment), were all under that name.
After his mother died, he finally got his OBC, found in her papers. And his birthdate was off by a week. His retirement was coming up – we needed to fix the problem. He also couldn’t renew his driver’s license because after Homeland Security kicked in – he was not eligible for a license or a non-driver’s id card.
Even though all his documents, social security number, and military papers were under the name of Pace, his legal last name was his mother’s maiden name. We had to go in front of a judge with all this paperwork and have his name legally changed to Pace. The different birthdate wasn’t too much of an issue – we just had to change it on everything – we had to notify the IRS, the DMV, doctors, dentist – we just handled that when the times came when we would be doing business with those entities.
But it cost us almost $300.00! And it was not an uncommon thing we had to go through! The clerk in the surrogate judge’s office told me they see this kind of thing all the time! And nobody pays attention to it until they approach retirement age and find there’s a problem with their paperwork.
So getting back to Joan’s article – actually the rest of the article doesn’t concern me. Her writing style is very good. I have no problem with this kind of stuff that she champions – in fact, I applaud it. I just want to point out that we can see – she CAN leave us birthsisters OUT of her writing – WHEN SHE CHOOSES TO.
She can now point out that by my finding, reading, and commenting on this, that I have internet-stalked her. I choose to call it MONITORING what she writes about – because I have the right to see if she is writing anything about ME and MY FAMILY. And if she writes something about ME that is a lie, a misrepresentation, or a mockery of anything about ME OR MY LIFE, OR MY FAMILY – I most certainly will speak up.
AND because she mentions her kindle book “Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption,” which includes many blatant lies and misrepresentations and mockeries of me, and members of my family, I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO COMMENT ABOUT THIS ARTICLE that she has written.
Tags: horror movies, jealousy, Monster Mash book by Mark Vogel, monsters
Joan Mary Wheeler does not understand monsters, despite being one herself.
Stupid ass Joan Mary Wheeler slams me for being a monster movie buff, saying derogatorily that I was “raised on horror movies.” stupid wench.
What happened was – in the mid-to-late 50’s, many old horror movies from the 1930’s – 40’s (Frankenstein, Dracula, Werewolf, Mummy, King Kong) became available to be shown on television. I don’t recall which station, but a Buffalo station would show them on Saturday afternoons. After the morning cartoons. Watching these movies in your living room with commercial breaks – these monsters did not scare us – and then the Madison Ave. commercialism set in – toys, cereal (Count Chocula), shampoo, all kinds of merchandise – and comic books, monster magazines appeared – then a few years later – The Addams Family and The Munsters appeared on television.
So was Ruth the only child in America watching this stuff? oh hell no – almost every dam kid in America was.
Joan was an only child – and I suspect her adoptive parents did not let her watch these things. So she doesn’t understand. I remember her slamming the Garbage Pail Kids when they came out. – I am thinking – it was HER childhood that was warped, not mine – most kids aged 8-12 absolutely LOVE gross stuff – slime, snots, creepy crawlers.
And we see again – another example of how Joan Mary Wheeler is fucking JEALOUS of me and the fun childhood that I had – and she did not have so much fun. She says so right in her stupid book – she was lonely. Aw, too bad, I’m sorry that widdle Joanie had such a bad childhood – doesn’t give her the right to slam MY childhood. Bitch.
Just got this book in the mail today – Monster Mash by Mark Voger – about The Creepy, Kooky Monster Craze in America – 1957-1972
Tags: hypocrites, mental illness, sickos, stalkers
Dingbat Dana Seilhan is now outed as a lying hypocritical STALKER
UPDATE – AUGUST 22, 2015 –
Dana Sielhan got caught and took down her http://www.danaseilhan.com page – WHY?
Dana, you are one stupid bimbo – first you get caught stalking us, leading us to your page that says you do things that you don’t know why you do things. Then you take down that page. lol. – Dana dear, you showed everyone, that you not only do things that you don’t know why you do things, but you showed us all that you are a fucking coward as well. Because that is all that backtracking says about a person – that you are willing to open your big mouth (or type shit on the internet) but you haven’t got the backbone to stand by what you say. asshole.
now back to my original post:
Well the past 24 hours events have been very interesting. On Dana’s aboutme page she truthfully says she blocked me and Gert on facebook. Because after our spat some time ago she HAD blocked me. Well, because Dana had stalked Gert’s aboutme page, I decided to look up Dana’s facebook page and she had UNBLOCKED ME.
She accuses me and Gert of stalking her – well Gert had an email notification that a “Dana Seilhan” had viewed her aboutme page. Gert goes to her aboutme page and sees Dana’s wakco face as one of those who has viewed her aboutme page. Gert then posted that on my facebook and that’s when I made my own aboutme page. I had not had one before. – https://about.me/paceruth
AND I did some checking on Dana.
On her page called Dana’s Domain (copyright 2015)- http://www.danaseilhan.com/ – she says: ”…like my about.me page does, and I have no idea why I bothered setting one up. I must have been bored or something.” – Dana, do you always do things that you don’t know why?
Her Dana’s Domain was made THIS YEAR and I’m betting so was her aboutme page. But we have not had ANY contact with Dana for over a year. So WHY is Dana all of a sudden accusing me and Gert of stalking her, but there is clear evidence that Dana herself is now STALKING us?
What ever games you are playing little Dana – you just showed us and everyone else what a sicko you are. go grow up.
So Dana – if you don’t want anything to do with me – and you say you have blocked me on facebook – explain this screenshot taken at 3:40 pm on July 10, 2015.
Dana – you’re a liar.
You know, it’s the internet – and a lot of what you put out there is public. People are looking at your stuff. They’re googling you. I’m sure a lot of people have googled my name and looked at my stuff. It’s the nature of the beast. But when someone specifically makes an aboutme page SOLELY for the purpose of accusing two women of stalking her, then evidence is found that that person is stalking those two women in turn – well – I think you know where I’m going with this. Yep – Dingbat Dana has indeed been outed as a hypocritical liar.
Tags: Dana Sielhan, hypocrites
Gert found this from Dana Seilhan, delusional buddy of Joan Mary Wheeler on HER aboutme page – some bimbo accusing Gert and me of stalking her – well how did it end up on Gert’s page? Seems as though Dana’s been STALKING Gert! hypocrite. When someone views your page – you are notified. Dana, when you viewed Gert’s page, she found out about it – and WHY are you STALKING/VIEWING Gert’s page?
LOL – oh my god! so yeah, if you’re going to accuse me of something – I’m gonna go do it. don’t want to make you out to be a liar, ya’ know! So I STALKED on over to Dana’s LinkedIn page – where you place your professional resume – and this nutcase says she’s a Martian anthropologist! Now I like science fiction and fantasy in general and Star Trek in particular, but I can distinguish fantasy from reality!
Dana, Marvin the Martian says FUCK YOU
And Dana has the nerve to say that Gert and I are insane? I am astonished at the stupidity of people. And yes, Dana, I too, am opinionated. Don’t like it? TOUGH. My opinion of you is that you are in dire need of professional counseling.
This delusional person says this:
I seem to be being stalked by adoption activist Joan Wheeler’s insane sisters for some reason. I am not interested in any BS you are trying to sell. You took what you perceived as one bad experience and you are using it to abuse other adoptees that you have never even met. It’s not difficult to figure out who’s in the wrong here, and you keep compounding it too. Why don’t you get the hell off the Internet and go take a very long walk off a very short pier. Thanks in advance.
Ruth here – first she is supposed to be a writer – well what the hell “I seem to be being stalked.” it should read, “It appears that I am being stalked.” Dana, if you’re going to be a writer, learn some grammar.
Now I had ONE bad experience with Dana over a year ago via facebook. She is a delusional BITCH. She is one of Joan Mary Wheeler’s friends. And most of those “friends” are sick in the head. They take Joan’s side of the story as the golden truth without considering there is a possiblility that Joan could be lying.
My experience with Dana started I believe in conversation on Huffington Post, in which, if memory serves, Dana and I were conversing intelligently – until Dana found out that I was one of Joan’s birth sisters – and then Dana turned into a bitch and called me names. (oh how adult). I call her names here, because yeah, she is a bitch – convicted and condemned me solely on the basis that I am Joan’s birthsister. Fuck her – she is an asshole. Now, I’m not 100% sure that this was how it went down – because it happened way over a year ago – perhaps two, three years ago. This is how much Dana is on my mind for me to be stalking her, that I don’t remember exactly what went down between us. No Dana, you are simply not that important to me – I forgot all about you a long time ago.
I did send her this email tonight:
Dana, yes, we had a tiff over a year ago – I haven’t thought of you since then. And my, how adult how you are to say to someone to take a long walk off a short pier. Nobody is stalking you.
You take the word of Joan as golden without even considering there are two sides – when on my blog I have posted actual police and court documents that prove that Joan lies about me.
Recently she was caught blasting Joyce Bahr on her facebook, and others asked her to show proof of what she said about Joyce. She would not.
Where is the proof of what she has said about me? Why don’t you try to be fair?
That was the only intent I had in contacting you – then and now – for YOU to be FAIR – but, since you cannot – that shows me the kind of person you truly are. – shove it lady.
As to me abusing adoptees? oh my! When I first started this blog in November 2009, Joan Wheeler had a fit! She joined an adoptee forum called Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change and in February 2010, under Joan’s request – a bunch of those so called “adult” adoptees came over here and left obscene comments. Yeah – Mara Rigge for one – who never met me in person or internet, called me a bitch – there was someone named Myst – and several others that I don’t remember their names. So when it comes to Joan’s Birthsisters vs The Adoptees – The Adoptees fucked with me first – this blog which has a daily average of 20 hits, in one day in February 2010 had about 178 hits – and in two days about 30 obscene comments. Why? Because Joan told them to do it and I’m betting Joan told Dana to write this shit about us now.
oh – here’s another one of Dingbat Dana’s pages:
roflmao! She says she set up her aboutme page because she was bored. So when you’re bored Dana, you set up pages to attack people you don’t know? lol. You’re full of shit and you know it – you set that page up solely for the purpose of trashing me and Gert and then you went to Gert’s aboutme page to get our attention. Poor little Dana, needs attention. oh, poor thing. Well bitch – you wanted our attention – and now you got it. You have only yourself to blame. There was NO contact, no nothing between you and us for over a year – until YOU started.
The rest of Dana’s biography is so, so, – I don’t know – she’s out in left field! WAY BEYOND LEFT FIELD.
Well, I went and started my own about me page at https://about.me/paceruth
My bio is this:
Because you don’t know me at all.
I’m a long time health care worker, (43 years) former professional belly dancer, a rabid Trekkie, and a paranormal investigator. I am a movie buff, and love movies and reading about science fiction, fantasy. My interests are wide and varied, and I am passionate about them.
my about me page is about ME – I don’t put a whole paragraph falsely accusing and trashing people – because my about me page is about ME, not them.
I had perhaps one or two replies TO HER after she ATTACKED me on a Huffington thread. YEARS AGO. before that it was her and others, the gang of thugs, friends of Joan Wheeler, attacked me and Ruth BECAUSE we are defending ourselves. WE HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SAY WHAT WE WANT ABOUT OURSELVES AND OUR FAMILY.
NOW I’ll just have to ADD Dana on my ‘info’ so that the WORLD can know all about HER as well as Joan
Hey Joan Mary Wheeler – are you going to slam this horror game from 1964 for kids? or the new book coming out called Monster Mash? July 8, 2015Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: bitchy Joan
in this post: a monster themed Old Maid card game from 1964. “Monster Mash” a new book detailing the monster fad for kids in the United States in the years 1957-1972.
gosh, a monster card game from 1964 – quick now Joan Mary Wheeler – you’d better slam Milton Bradley for making such a horrible game for kids aged 5-10 – a game based on horror movies.
No? You’re not going to slam Milton Bradley? Why not? Oh, I see, because Milton Bradley is NOT your birth sister Ruth – see, Milton Bradley can have stuff about horror movies and monsters, Hollywood can have tv shows like The Munsters and The Addams Family – but Ruth can not – absolutely can NOT have anything to do with monsters or horror movies. Why? Because bitch Joan Mary Wheeler has decreed it.
In 1964, I was 12 years old and in the monster craze – like a lot of other kids around the country – but Joan thinks there was something wrong with me for liking such things and has slammed me and my stepmother for liking monster and horror movies. Stop passing judgment on MY life and childhood Joan – pay attention to your own rotten life.
I think I know what the problem is – when Joan was the lonely only child in her adopted home, she must not have had any fun – and after we were reunited (ugh, what a mistake that was) – she was told how much fun I had with my monsters and horror movies. So she simply HAS to slam my liking horror movies any chance she gets – like she did recently on her facebook – saying that I was “raised” on horror movies.
NO Joan, you fucking idiot – like a ton of other kids, I thought monsters were cool! But because YOU were raised in physically and mentally abusive house that comes right out of a horror movie you won’t admit that you were deeply affected by it and must take your shit out on the most convenient people you can – your birthsisters – and in particular me – because I, at the age of almost 63 (next month) am still having monster fun. Face it Joan – you’re JEALOUS of the fact that despite me being raised without a mom – I succeeded in having fun as a child, while you did not. Aw, too bad. Am I crying over you? hell no!
Well looky-here! Look what popped up on my facebook newsfeed someone shared an article about this upcoming book on Amazon. READ IT AND LEARN JOAN MARY WHEELER – I wasn’t “raised” on horror movies – it was a NATIONAL FAD! (ever hear of The Munsters on TV? or the song Monster Mash?)
So now Joan Mary Wheeler – shut your fucking mouth about MY childhood, that you were NOT A PART OF.
Monster Mash: The Creepy, Kooky Monster Craze In America 1957-1972 Hardcover – July 23, 2015 by Mark Voger (Author), Basil Gogos (Illustrator), Jim Warren (Illustrator)
Time-trip back to the frightening era of 1957-1972, when monsters stomped into the American mainstream! Once Frankenstein and fiends infiltrated TV in 1957, an avalanche of monster magazines, toys, games, trading cards, and comic books crashed upon an unsuspecting public. This profusely illustrated, full-color hardcover covers that creepy, kooky Monster Craze through features on Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine, the #1 hit “Monster Mash,” Aurora’s model kits, TV shows (Shock Theatre, The Addams Family, The Munsters, and Dark Shadows), Mars Attacks trading cards, Eerie Publications, Planet of the Apes, and more! It features interviews with James Warren (Creepy, Eerie, and Vampirella magazines), Forrest J Ackerman (Famous Monsters of Filmland), John Astin (The Addams Family), Al Lewis (The Munsters), Jonathan Frid (Dark Shadows), George Barris (monster car customizer), Ed “Big Daddy” Roth (Rat Fink), Bobby (Boris) Pickett (“Monster Mash” singer/songwriter) and others, with a Foreword by TV horror host Zacherley, the “Cool Ghoul.”
Joan the gorgon – she will turn you to stone with her ugly heart.
Joan Mary Wheeler – I bought some more movies! June 29, 2015Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
I had a $50.00 rewards certificate from amazon dot com a couple of months ago – and I got the following DVDs, which finally arrived today (June 29, 2015) I am such a smart shopper – my out of pocket expenses — a whopping $6.00 and change.
Krull – a fantasy movie
Willow – fantasy
Sphinx – mystery/romance set in modern-day Egypt
The Man Who Would be King – a fantasy film based on a story by Rudyard Kipling
Shirley Temple in Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm
Ian McKellan in Gods and Monsters – a bio-pic of film maker James Whale (Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein) –
oh wow – not a horror film in the bunch!
If Joan Mary Wheeler wants to make it her business as to what films I watch or DVDs I buy or how I spend my own money (for which I have a long-time CAREER to obtain) – she should get her facts straight. But then, she never does.
Tags: falsehoods, gossip, idiotic assumptions, Joan Mary Wheeler, Lies, misconceptions, SLANDER, spreading bullshit, spreading gossip
Joan Mary Wheeler likes to run her gossip-filled mouth about me and reports that I was raised on horror movies. Contrary to her warped conception of MY childhood (that she wasn’t even around (YAY) to see first hand) – I was NOT raised solely on horror movies. I saw this one, and stuff like Fantasia, Snow White, Cinderella, Dumbo, Bambi, Ol’ Yeller – and a ton of other stuff – at the theatres. So shut up Joan about MY childhood.
And my goodness – I was only 7 years old when Ben Hur came out and went to see that at the theatre. And where would I have gotten the name Top Cat for a kitty we had – if all I did was watch horror movies?
And how could I have been watcing tv stuff like Mickey Mouse Club, Howdy Doody, Captain Kangeroo, Romper Room, Superman, Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny, Yogi Bear – when all I did was watch horror movies? – Joan Mary Wheeler is an asshole – plain and simple and has no brains what-so-ever!
Joan Wheeler proves that she simply can NOT stop lying about her sisters and tries to manipulate another person to make trouble for me. June 14, 2015Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
okay, this fucking nutball Joan Wheeler needs to have her mouth sewed shut! – on her facebook page, Saturday, June 13, 2015, somebody asked Joan Wheeler a question about the situation of that Rachel Dolezal, the white lady who is passing herself off as a black lady. It seem she had three adoptive siblings of a different race. The question asked by Heather C. was “After discovering this controversy, I read the article, finding that there is an adoption link. This woman had a Haitian and African American siblings who were adopted. She is 100% white. What lessons did she learn from her parents who adopted her siblings. If they were “white” and she was “black” and the adoption insanity and identity problems are a big mess. Joan Mary Wheeler What do you think of this? Especially with regards to your kept sisters and their issues? Inquiring minds want to know.”
Heather referred to “kept sisters” as the fact that I, and my other two sisters were “kept” by our father. I have absolutely NO problem with that question – but I have serious problems with the way Joan answers and drags me and my sisters through the mud AGAIN and then enlists a former co-worker of mine, who turned out to be a bitch, despite me being very nice to her – but more on that later on – first give a look-see on how Joan talks trash about me again – AND she lumps all three of us sisters into one AGAIN. – When she referenced our stepmother, who liked horror movies. – First – the time frame was when I was 8 years old, and I lived with my father and his second wife, for a period OF ONE YEAR. Meanwhile, my sisters were NOT RAISED by this stepmother – they were in a foster home and neither one of them are particular fans of horror movies.
The issue of horror movies comes up because in her now dead (because it was proven to be libelous) book, Joan trashes me and mocks my miscarriage by saying that I would not have been a good mother because I spent my money collecting horror movies. So let’s read Joan’s latest lies about me and my sisters. I will take her shit, parapragh by paragraph and REFUTE HER CRAP ABOUT ME AND MY SISTERS. By the way, yes, I still collect horror movies. SO FUCKING WHAT? I have worked at my job for going on 44 years. I’ve been working since I was 18. I own my home and van. WHAT I SPEND MY MONEY ON IS NONE OF JOAN WHEELER’S OR ANYBODY ELSE’S BUSINESS. I don’t steal to buy a DVD of a horror movie or any other movie. I work for it. So, here’s the thing – Joan has always been JEALOUS and PISSED OFF because SHE was adopted and WE were not. – And just because I had fun with my stepmother and Joan did not have fun with her adoptive mother, Joan writes all this crap about me. And by the way, because Miss SmartyPants Joan thinks she knows all about me – and thinks that all I watch is horror movies – just last month, I bought an 18 movie set of SHIRLEY TEMPLE movies. So Joan – shut up. Readers – see blog post: Oh NO! Gert and I are collecting movies on DVD! Quick now, throw us in jail, Joan Wheeler! November 6, 2013
Joan Mary Wheeler “Wow, thank you for letting me know the rest of this story.
About my sisters who were kept by our father after he relinquished me… I think they identified with their step Mom who raised them watching horror movies. My sisters felt from the very beginning of our reunion in 1974 that I had the better life. They see me as “other” and not one of them. I am one of them as we have the same parents, but our behavior is totally different. I do believe my sisters have been warped by their experiences of knowing their sister disappeared shortly after she was born and they spent their childhood trying to find her (me). That made them crazy. “
Crazy? well really – Joan is the one who has gone on record saying she is mentally ill and has been going to therapists for 30 years. – And no, we did not spend our childhood trying to find her. We were fucking kids ya know. Yeah, we remembered we had sister out there but knew nothing else. And Joan does say soomething truthful in that paragraph – ” our behavior is totally different. ” – yes, that’s right – Me, Gert and Kathy have had stable relationships with our fellas, held down good jobs, never broke the law, don’t do drugs, drink only socially, don’t lie or steal from family members, don’t call other people’s jobs with lies in order to get them fired, don’t file false police reports on people, don’t send letters to family members saying their husbands got the next door neighbor pregnant, don’t send letters to family member’s mother-in-law in order to break up a marriage. – yep – this is what Joan has done to me and my sisters. Joan on the other hand, worked only a few temporary part time jobs, relying on handouts from her adoptive mother and money stolen from me, and welfare fraud in 1985.
– okay let’s see what other shit Joan has to say:
“Meanwhile, as for me, I was raised an only child and have no reference point of siblings, so they reminded me constantly after our reunion that I am THE BABY of the family, and as such, I know nothing. “
What’s that got to do with anything?
“They forgot that I am not only their baby sister (a role I found out about when I was 18) but I IDENTIFY AS AN ONLY CHILD because that is how I was raised.
For me, I don’t see this as a problem: I am an independent thinker and do not need to run my decisions by the approval of my other siblings. They think that, because they were raised with a pecking order, that I must conform to their wishes of trying to mold me to fit what they want me to do and be. “
No, all we asked is that she stop stealing from us – when Joan and her deadbeat husband stole hundreds of $$$ from me in 1989 – I told her to get the fuck out of my life! And she has spent all this time since January 1990 in harassing me with revenge tactics just because I told her to get lost – FOR STEALING FROM ME. – see blog post: repost: the story of Joan Wheeler’s theft of money from me February 27, 2010
“Now, yes, I fully acknowledge I am the youngest of five siblings, but I believe my autonomy is important to my own identity, with or without their approval.
Right Joan – but YOU can pass judgment on ME for liking horror movies! You know, Joan, I, Ruth Sippel Pace have the autonomy to like and collect whatever the fuck I want – and that includes horror movies. don’t like it Joan? – fuck off.
I also fully acknowledge that my mindset (psychology) is that of an introverted only child. Part of that is upbringing, part of that is nature. I have my father’s personality – introverted. My son does, too. My daughter is extroverted like her father. “
We don’t give a shit about her autonomy – EXCEPT WHEN SHE LIES ABOUT US.
“As for this Rachel Dolezal, I think she was influenced by having black adopted siblings. They were there and she took on their identity.
Something to think about — adopted parents ought to think carefully about mixing up races and cultures. If they don’t want one of their own biological kids to take after their adopted black kids’ culture and appearance, then they shouldn’t adopt children of a different race. Also, adoptive parents shouldn’t expect their black adoptee to act white to meet their expectations.
But it happens all the time that black adoptees might be forced to act more white to avoid as much racial problems as they can, and they, too, might identify as white because they are being raised in a white family.”
Joan then received this comment from Mary G. – ” I wondered about the influence her siblings had on her. Good explanation Joan.” — To which Joan, ever the fucking trouble maker baits my former co-worker Laura Heath with this, to drag Laura into the “roast Ruth fest.”
Joan Mary Wheeler Yes, Mary G., they think they own me! They do not! And, of course, Laura Heath can probably see what I mean in real life. Sigh.”
No, Joan, we KNOW we don’t own you – we just want you to shut your fucking trashy lies about us.
As to Laura – she and her husband Tom Heath got caught STALKING me – — I was facebook friends with Laura while we were working together in 2009. Early 2010, Laura transfered to another nursing unit. One day on facebook, I was venting about a hard night I had at work, saying simply, “glad that night is over.” – to which Laura replied “it wasn’t that hard.” — I felt like, “excuse me – my back and my feet hurt, I have every right to say something without my “so-called” freinds putting me down. Now, Laura in the past, had written a rotten thing on her facebook – can said she was ‘TIRED OF WORKING WITH LAZY ASS BITCHES.” – she was not referring to me – cos she was working on another floor, but I know who she was talking about – and those nurses are among the best nurses in that hospital. Anyway, I removed Laura from my facebook, because frankly, she and I were not really ‘friends’ and I have the right to remove anybody I want from my facebook. Laura’s response? She went and found Joan Wheeler – acting like a little 10 year old “oh You took me off your facebook. Well, I’ll go find your worst enemy and we can sit and gossip about you.”
Then in 2013, I found Laura’s husband Thomas D. Heath STALKING my facebook page! – I never met Laura’s husband. Who the f does this man think he is, that 3 years after his wife has a falling out with a former co-worker, that he is going to go stalk that person? – I outed Laura and Tom in the following blog posts:
So what can we deduce from all this? – That Joan may be a grown woman, but is still acting like a fucking 10 year old, with lies, thefts, innuendos, and trying to drag LAURA into a fight. I don’t give a shit about Laura – she is nothing to me. Never was, never will be. – But this just shows what Joan does best – manipulates people into doing her dirty work.
Joan Wheeler – what is your solution for kids languishing in orphanages and NO family members are taking in? December 10, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, Lies, mental instability, stupidity, theft
Joan Wheeler hates the institution of adoption so badly that she wants to eradicate adoption from the entire planet of Earth! What an unrealistic idea. But then, Joan has always been unrealistic in her thoughts, deeds and goals.
Joan’s “brilliant” solution for a replacement for the act of adopting an orphan is kinship guardianship. Well, that’s all well and good on the surface – but – what if there is a child who HAS no family left at all? Like a child who’s whole family is wiped out by war or an act of nature (earthquake, flood, etc.) – and there ARE many such babies and children who have experienced this.
OR – as in the case of MY family – when MY mother died, and my father was left with four young children, aged 3 years to 9 years and one three month old infant – extended family members TRIED to help out.
What does Joan propose for a family such as ours? FORCE an aunt or uncle to raise that infant? I believe that is what she wants – because she forced ME to provide Christmas 1989 for HER kids when I did not give birth to them, nor their legal parent or guardian – explanation: Joan stole money from me in the summer of 1989. In September 1989, she agreed to repay me, we were expecting refund checks from a lawyer for his fee (long story) – Joan agreed that when her check came, she would cash it and turn the entire amount over to me to go towards what she owed me. But, the little lying snake that she is, she called me early December 1989 and informed me (did not ask, but INFORMED me) that she was KEEPING all the money to provide Christmas presents for her kids. Never mind that her husband had a job, was working and SHE refused to get off HER ass and get a part time job to provide for her own kids. NO, she saw $$$ that her sister (me) had coming, but her sister (me) was in a two-income relationship, and her sister had a well-paying job, and therefore her sister’s money should be redistributed to JOAN AND HER FAMILY. So, yeah, money was stolen from me, and then never repaid, because JOAN made a decision on how to spend MY money, therefore I was FORCED to provide Christmas for her kids.
Here’s a picture of an orphan child:
What is Joan’s solution for this child?
She wants to eradicate adoption – she thinks that every child should be raised by other family members – um, there were none for this kid – so according to Joan Wheeler, he should stay in the hospital, being raised by nurses until he becomes an adult.
Good solution there Joan Wheeler. – Totally illogical, stupid and inhumane.
Joan Wheeler continues to drag me into her useless conversations about adoption problems! August 12, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, blaming people for your own mess, embellishing the truth, gossip, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity
Today, on facebook, Joan writes, in a discussion about a book (not her own piece of shit libelous mouthings of raving lunacy, but somebody else’s book:
Joan M Wheeler (to) Hilbrand W.S. Westra – “you are so very right. I noticed this, too, but didn’t say so publicly as the author is a friend of mine. I think she knows exactly the point you make. And yes, we need to stop pointing fingers at adoptees as the source of our own problems. Adoption itself is the problem from which all others stem. HOWEVER, for many adoptees, like me, who are half orphans or full orphans, one or both of our parents actually did die. That problem was fully discussed by Ken Watson (RIP) at an AAC conference circa 1990. I was dissolved to tears, yet, our good friend, René Hoksbergen nudged me forward to talk with Ken that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings, compounded by adoption soon afterward. And yes, compounded by adopters’ ignorance and willful deception.”
okay, in this discussion that I really don’t have any interest in, – she SLAMS her birth siblings again by saying “…that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings …”
Excuse me Joan, I most certainly do NOT have any lifelong problems due to the death of my mother. WHERE is your evidence that I have lifelong problems? I”M not the one constantly harassing people, YOU are. I’M not the one on Social Security Disability because of “psychological problems” – YOU are. I’M not the one who bounces from man to man and has an alchohol problem – That’s YOU. I’M not the one who has been in therapy for more 30 years – YOU are. — The three times I requested counseling – 1. grief counseling after miscarrying my son, 2. seeking advice on PTSD in Veteran’s, as my husband has nightmares due to his years in Vietnam, and 3. overload of stress in 2003 after my husband’s open heart surgery, and the deaths of 6 family members in rapid succession, beginning in the end of July 2003 to the middle of October 2003 and my father’s open heart surgery two and a half months after my husband’s surgery. In all three times – I went to only THREE therapy sessions, lasting only an hour each time – (three hours of therapy for Ruth, compared to years and years for Joan) – and each therapist told me that I was a well-adjusted person. SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH ABOUT ME JOAN.
Earlier today, in response to a facebook post by the comic magazine Cracked about the suicide of Robin Williams, I wrote the following:
“Cracked.com says: ‘Every time they make a joke around you, they’re doing it because they instinctively and reflexively think that’s what they need to do to make you like them. They’re afraid that the moment the laughter stops, all that’s left is that gross, awkward kid everyone hated on the playground.’
(my response) – well, I was the gross, awkward kid on the playground that nobody liked and everybody bullied. I have scars from the bullying. I just turned 62 and there are times I remember the names and it still hurts. But I took life on and said “fuck this shit.” I turned my ugly duckling younger self – the one the other girls in school called ugly and became a graceful belly dancer. I became a health care worker because I have compassion.
I will never commit suicide, because that would be giving in. I will never poison my body with stupid drugs. I will never turn a gun on myself (or others). I will never hang myself. I try new things. I wish I had more money to try more new things. I want to see more of the world. It’s such a beautiful and exciting world – I want to see Paris, Rome, Athens, Rio de Janieros – the Great Wall of China – the tomb of Tutankhamun –
I’m sorry that Robin took the route he did. I loved him as an actor and comedian. I wish he had not done what he did.”
I also wrote this last night regarding the speculation that Robin Williams depression may have been linked to his heart disease and surgery, and he was feeling vulnerable:
“John had heart surgery in 2003. He was not, is not depressed. Nor does he take drugs, nor does he drink. We both have an occasional beer or wine.
Robin Williams said that he felt “vulnerable.” Not sure what he meant by that. Every surgery can be potentially dangerous. Lots of people go thru surgery every day all over the world.
We can’t be inside another human’s head to figure out what is going on. All I can do is comment from my own experiences. I’ve had several surgeries, and came out not feeling vulnerable. And so has John – and John was scared shitless. Imagine not ever having surgery before – and your very first surgery is heart surgery. Perhaps John has a strong will – after all, he was a Navy Seal in Vietnam for six years. Takes a special kind of man for that job.
Life is tough. Ya gotta meet it head on. Or get plowed under. I refuse to get plowed under. “
AND before learning about Robin Williams’ suicide, I had just written the following rebuttal to actor Russell Brand’s “excuse” for drug abuse:
“I disagree – everybody knows by now how harmful drugs are. You are not born with drugs in your system – YOU made the conscious decision to PUT the drugs into your body. Everybody knows these substances are highly addictive – but, YOU chose to put them into your body. If this “illness” causes you to steal your own mother’s rent money (I know someone on my street who did that) or do the shit my exBFF did to me – and you see these things happening again and again to people in your neighborhood, you read about the theft and violence and greed that taking and selling drugs does not only to the user, but those around them – WHY would you even start taking that shit? I am 62 years old, and outside of smoking some weed, I have NEVER taken drugs, don’t want to take that shit and will never be a drug addict – not even to prescription pain pills, because I take those guys for needed pain relief, then wean myself off that shit.
My body is my temple – the only bad shit I put into it is coffee, pizza and chocolate – IN MODERATION – and they don’t cause me to steal from people, lie to my loved ones, or treat my loved ones like shit.
STAY THE FUCK OFF DRUGS”
The only problems I have right now – are dealing with the fact that Joan REFUSES to stop dragging me into her crap. – Shut the fuck up about me Joan.
This is what I live by – NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER. Joan on the other hand, dissolves into tears, gets the shakes, is overwhelmed, is stunned, is shocked and runs to the bottle. (her own words in her stupid book and on various places on the internet).
And check out this other recent development from Joan’s lying mouth.
Lesson for Joan Wheeler – Never try to destroy someone’s life with a lie when yours could be destroyed by the truth. July 7, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
Tags: abuse, false accusations, LIBEL, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, stupidity
So Joan – WHERE is your precious book? WHERE is your career as a big-time speaker at adoption conferences? – I’ll tell you where – IN THE TOILET!
Because you sought to destroy my life with your asshole lies – YOU got caught with the shit in your face – you didn’t count on the fact that I would keep the court documents that had the FACTS and the TRUTH behind our history. You sought to change that history. And it blew up in your face.
And the same thing will happen with your “new revised” book. Because, you asshole – the FACTS and the TRUTH can NOT be revised.
Never fear – when you read something from Ruth and Gert – you are reading the FACTS and the TRUTH – cos we back up what we say with PROOF. I have plastered this blog with scans of letters, court documents, photographs, even scans of weather reports from old newspapers to refute the LIES that Joan Wheeler puts out about MY life and GERT’S life.
What proof does Joan Wheeler put out? – NOTHING! Not once have I seen ONE lousy picture, scan of a letter, ANYTHING that would prove that ANYTHING that she says is a FACT or a TRUTH.
I am so bad that I can do things in my sleep, then I must read Joan Wheeler’s tweets to find out what I’ve done. lol June 27, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: being downright stupid
I have copied and pasted here, a past blogpost because I found this great meme on facebook. This all came about in January 2013, when I went to bed, and got up several hours to find out on twitter, that while I was asleep, I had been very busy doing shit to Joan. (would someone please lobotomize her?) – anyway, I just had to revisit this blog post, because – several of “that family unit that avoids me and wants nothing to do with me” (as per asshole Joan Wheeler) are now facebook freinds with me, and several months ago, one of them even REFUTED what Joan said. My cousin Dennis said, “no ever said they didn’t want you around.” But Joan likes to lie about everybody and everything.
anyways, here is an account of Joan going nutty on public internet:
Joan Wheeler goes nutty on Twitter and accuses Ruth once again of doing something she didn’t do. January 31, 2013
Joan goes nutty on Twitter and accuses Ruth once again of doing something she didn’t do. by Gert and Ruth
Gert: Too much happening at present to make proper blog post. I would like to inform those that would like to follow the unfolding circumstances and that have access to tweeter to go to the following tweeter addresses and look at the ‘tweets’and you can make what you want of them. Personally, Joan Wheeler is seriously off the deep edge! Look from Jan 24th to present…more developing and will report when able.
addresses On twitter
@forbiddenfamily (this is Joan Wheeler)
also topics are #
Ruth here –January 31, 2013, 1:00am at home, not work. –Never mind all that –here are the actual tweets. But first an explanation.
On Saturday, January 26, my cousin’s husband was killed in a car accident. As I had to work Saturday night, 7pm, I did not see the news. The next day Sunday, I slept all day and I was off that night, but still did not see the news nor hear of the death. I slept Monday, worked Monday night, 7pm. still ignorant of the death. At 2am Tuesday, January 29, I was slightly injured at work. The ER gave me med and sent me home. I got home around 4am and went straight to bed. I got up between 10:30am –11:00am. Got a cup of coffee, turned on computer and was reading Twitter. When some of Joan’s tweets got on my newsfeed. and I read that I was using this death to spread rumors about her. I’m like, WHAT THE HELL DID I DO? AND WHO THE HELL DIED? AND HOW AM I SPREADING RUMORS WHEN I JUST WOKE UP? –So I called my cousin Nancy and asked “did someone in the family die?”and she told me. I then called Becky, the aunt of the widow, and spoke briefly to her.
Now –this side of the family is MY godmother –her son Dennis, used to be close to Joan. Their children used to be close to each other. This was like 20 years ago. But then Joan started dictating to Dennis how to raise his kids and he said shut the hell up. It was Dennis’daughter Melissa, who lost her husband the other day. Mielissa has a 4 year old little girl.
Now growing up, my family didn’t have a car. This family lived way out in the suburbs where we couldn’t get to them. But we saw them occasionally. The last time Gert and Dennis saw each other was when they were kids, some 50 –60 years ago. And Gert moved out of Buffalo in 1982. For myself, in the 90′s into the early 2000′s most times I didn’t have a car, so I didn’t see the family that much.
In December 2012, I got a call from Nancy and she said, there was a family get-together at The Country Buffet sponsored by that side of the family and they wanted me to come but didn’t have my new phone number. Nancy said she had gotten like 3 or 4 calls from them to call me but didn’t have a chance to call me because she recently had carpal tunnel surgery.
So I go to the brunch and two cousins asked if Joan was coming and I said no, and they expressed relief. Another cousin expressed anger at Joan, another cousin said he wanted to punch Joan’s lights out for what she wrote in the book.
Now pay attention to these particular tweets: numbers, 3, 6, 8 and 9.
#3 –she’s describing MY godmother, Melissa’s grandmother that “she doesn’t know her grandaughter’s husband died and it will kill her.” – um, is Joan part of that immediate family? Is it HER business to saying stuff like that?
#9. “aunt is 86 years old, has dementia, sees my (dead) mother.”How the hell does Joan know what’s going on in another person’s mind?
#8. and #9 –these are the tweets that Joan is using this family tragedy as a springboard to further slam me and Gert. She says the father of the widow (Dennis) avoids us. –WRONG –he simply hasn’t seen Gert since he was a kid! And we just saw each other 5 weeks ago!
now here, read these things and decide for yourself if Joan is sane or not:
That little girl is now a half orphan. Too many, too many.
10:12 AM –29 Jan 13 ·
Can’t be on Facebook now. Too many deaths since Sept. Very sad. In shock. Another 2nd cousin, adopted fam, died, father of 2 yr old daughtr
Trauma. Sadness. Generational. Must see Aunt soon to tell her I love her. She does’nt know, would kill her: granddaughter lost husband.
Yes. Another new half orphan. This one will not be given up for adoption. I don’t blame my Dad for giving me up. His wife died.
Please pray for Mom who lost her husband Sat morn. She’ll need family around her, her sisters, brothers, now keep her safe. Await memorial.
Will they butt into this family tradegy? Yes, we are all family. They are not wanted in this family group. My Twitter friends, please pray.
My sisters are on Twitter. Blocked them. They will get these Tweets to spread rumors I am causing trouble. Father of new widow avoids them.
Wonder if anyone will suggest to my 2nd cousin that her “4 yr old daughter needs 2 parents”so give her up for adoption?
Ripples…My Aunt, 86, pregnant at same time my Mom was, sees my Mom when she sees me. Dementia now. Doesn’t know about granddaughter’s loss
Ripple effect. My mother died when I was 3 months old. Grievinf father told to give me up for adoption because I “needed 2 parents”. WTF
Too much trauma. Ripple effect. My daughter, age 26, grieves along side of her cousin. They shared a childhood. Death, loss, nightmares.
Another death. Young father killed in car crash, leaving behind wife, age 26, and 4 year old daughter. The wife is my 2ndcousin, by blood.
For what purpose is it to remake a child’s birth certificate in adoption? You have new custody..is that enough? Guardianship keeps inline
there is no god. To take away a child’s father id creul. You took away y mother + gave me new one. Fuk’ed me over. Another one now.
Death…you come upon us when we think we know time. You took my mother when I was a babe. Yu took my cousin’s hubby + left a 4 yr old: why
Death be not proud! Do not take the widows and the children and make them puppets for the adoption mills! Not one more lost to adoption…
As I watch the new half orphans march passed me, I see their tiny faces and think: you have people who will not stand for you to be adopted
I cannot control my grief. too many deaths. too much loss, too much, too much. There is no reaason.
I grieve for my 2nd cousin’s husband, dead in car accident. Gone too soon. Wife and child left behind. Momma, like you, they died too soon.
comments to this blog post:
oh –don’t forget how Joan says that side of the family doesn’t me around –but they called Nancy 3 or 4 times to make sure I came to the family brunch on Dec. 23, 2012.
me (left) and cousin Judy (right) at the family brunch, Dec. 23, 2012. photo taken by Rebecca Herr Snyder (Becky), she who Joan says doesn’t want me around. (then why is she taking my picture?) AND many of my relatives asked about Gert and Kathy, how they are, what are they doing, etc.
2. gertmcqueen –January 31, 2013 [Edit]
These tweets of Joan’s plus those she wrote BEFORE are nothing but the ravings of a mad person! This is WHAT is in that now dead book! Rants of a diseased mind, who throws temper fits over gun-violence and a CNN reporter or whatever she is mad about, not having a original birthcertificate and the birth siblings. Joan is a mental case, she is ON NY state disability cause she can’t work at anything. She never worked as a social worker, and she can not help any one because of her VIEW of life.
Her friends are not helping her by encouraging her work in the realm of adoption reform, but then again, those friends of Joan’s are nothing but bullies because they go after people who ADOPT, like that’s a crime! Joan is ABUSING HERSELF and her friends stand by and DO NOTHING to help her! It sometimes amazes me how downright STUPID these people are…everyone knows when to pull the soldier off the battlefield, but these stupid adoption reform people actually KEEP Joan and her mental ravings go PUBLIC, like that is HELPING.
I said if before –in regards to when I point out a LIE that Joan has said in the book or the internet and I back up what I say with an actual city court document (as opposed to Joan who has offered absolutely NO proof of ANYthing she has said about me: those who continue to say Joan Wheeler is the best thing since sliced bread and her birth sisters are sick in the head –THEY are as cracked in the head as Joan is. To be in law enforcement, and read that Joan Wheelerr VIOLATED THE LAW by calling someone’job to lob false accusations of computer fraud, read that Joan Wheeler PUBLICLY ADMIT on the internet that it was indeed she who contacted my employer, and don’t recognize that deed as AGGRAVED HARASSMENT 2 –PHONE/TELEGRAPH/WRITTEN COMMUNICATION TO ALARM –well, I think that person is a piss-poor law enforcement agent.
AND that law enforcement agent should know that ALL evidence should be looked at –I wonder if she EVER took the time to EXAMINE the court documents that I have posted over and over on this blog –then compare it to what Joan has said.
Joan says in a letter she wrote to Albany NY Child Protective Services that I was placed on six month probation in 1993. ON the internet and the book she’s saying that I was placed on a one year order of protection. When in reality it was a six month order of protection ACD –
If those are the kinds of law enforcement agents they have in California –STUPID –then I will keep my little behind right here in New York State. –because that particular person IS MOST DEFINITELY AS CRACKED IN THE HEAD AS JOAN WHEELER!
JOAN WHEELER USES THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY MOTHER’S DEATH TO THROW ANOTHER DIG AT HER BIRTHSISTERS March 27, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, emotional abuse
JOAN WHEELER USES THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY MOTHER’S DEATH TO THROW ANOTHER DIG AT HER BIRTHSISTERS
As usual, Joan has to exploit my mother’s death.
Read what she wrote on her facebook today, March 27, 2014. (mind you the anniversary of my mother’s death is March 28).
at around 11am, Joan writes:
Fifty-eight years ago today, my mother died. She was 30 years old. Mom left behind her husband of 10 years, age 31. Mom left behind five children: me, age 3 months; my sister, age 3; my brother, age 6; my sister, age, 8; my oldest sister, age 9. Mom’s death started a cascading set of events that led to my father relinquishing me to adoption. While I had the idyllic “happy” childhood that this “wonderful better life” provided for me, what happened from 1974 to now has been a life of hell. I cannot for one second say that all things happen for a reason. I do not know why my Mother died. God did not will this. This was not Devine Intervention. This was cancer. Genetic mutations. Nature. Nothing more. Today is the hardest day of the year. I want my Mother. The deaths of all my parents from January, February, and two in March… Two mothers died in March, different years. So today, this is my Mother’s Day. For Genevieve Herr Sippel. I love you, Mom.
and then an hour later, around noon, she writes.
Wow. Did I make a big blunder or what? Yeah. Grief does that to a person. The anniversary of mom’s death is tomorrow. I can’t think straight. Too overwhelmed. Two mothers dying in March is one too many. is it any wonder why I can’t “get my facts straight” as my sisters pound it into my head. Yeah, I missed it by one day. While the death anniversary of my adoptive mother was March 12. Thank you, Christine Monahan.. I wish you could get up to San Fran — want to meet this amazing woman in the flesh!!!!
So, as usual, I’m sleeping then come on the internet to find that I’m raked over the coals for something I didn’t do or say. I woke up at 12:20pm, come downstairs, have my coffee, watch Young and the Restless then turn on the computer, write a brief note to the person who does my schedule at work, go on the internet and see that I and my sisters are vilified because of Joan’s mistake.
Um, Joan – was this truly a sentimental post about you missing your mother? Cos you sure USED it as a big chance to stick it to me, my family and everybody else who made your life a hell from 1974. THIS IS WHY WE DON’T WANT YOU AROUND – YOU JUST CANNOT STOP THE SHIT CAN YOU? AND USING MY MOTHER AND HER DEATH AS A VEHICLE FOR YOUR SHIT!
Joan also writes that she is in a new relationship and he’s a secret for now. Who cares? But – Gert called it – the other day, when another disparaging comment appeared on her blog – and this is typical Joan-manipulation-tactics – she gets involved with a man, sobs her heart out what rotten bitches her sisters are, gets them to come to our blogs to insult us, then sits back to watch this new puppet attack us – while she keeps her hands all squeaky clean. Well, as I said who cares? If this new fella starts harassing me – he will go the way all her other puppets have – thrown to the curb by Joan when the heat gets turned up.
some facebook remarks by Gert and me —
Gert: as I said in some tweets…Joan in her hysteria does NOT help our mother’s soul. Joan is a drama queen always looking for attention…She’s been in ‘seclusion’ BECAUSE she’s got a new MAN, she picked up at a bar…that’s where they all come from. Last june she met ‘the love of her life’ in a bar…when to NM and found out he was a drunk, she was lamenting online in January of THIS YEAR about him and here it’s MARCH and she’s GOT ANOTHER SUCKER, who left a nasty comment on a blog post of mine! He’s going to be another Russ and Brian.
Joan has NO sense of the divine, she refuses to acknowledge her tiny self in the vast universe and until she does she will ALWAYS have these mental sicknesses and mental disturbances that cause her sadness and grief. Sorry…her kind of grief is NOT grief…it’s attention getting. Joan was NOT the only child who’s MOTHER DIED. Remember those that have passed over with fondness…NOT with exploitation means…Joan knows nothing about TRUE honoring of one’s parents.
Ruth: why o why can Joan not post pictures of mom, like I did, and just leave it at that? she can’t – cos she’s a perpetual garbage mouth.
A letter I wrote to Joan Wheeler, 10 years before her book came out- warning her not use my name or picture – and the bitch did it anyway. March 26, 2014Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, Disrespect, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity, whining
I just found a gem of a letter that I wrote to Joan in April 1999 – to answer the bitch’s letter to me in February 1999 that my then fiancé (now husband) John got the next door neighbor pregnant. Pay close attention to the paragraph that I highlighted in bold – I told her back in 1999 that she did not have permission to use my name or likeness in her book – 10 years later, in 2009, she may have changed my name, but she left plenty of clues as to my name AND USED MY PICTURE ON THE BACK OF HER BOOK – and that is why her book got pulled from publication.
Ms. Joan Wheeler
1 C Drive,
Kenmore, New York 14223
April 20, 1999,
My Dear Joni,
I think that there a couple of things that need to be clarified. First, the notion that you have that I am wallowing in bitterness and negativity regarding the death of my mother and your existence.
I do not nor have I ever blamed you for Mom’s death. When we found you I was truly happy. And to this day there are times I truly miss you. I miss the good times we had going to the beach, and two or three years ago, when Channel 17 showed a Moody Blues concert I thought that it would have been great watching it with you. I cried because I couldn’t.
I don’t know why you tend to get things mixed up. The first time I called you (the famous “bowling” call), it was at 2 P.M. from a dental office in the Brisbane Building that Gert worked at. It was a Tuesday. The dentist Gert worked for always took Tuesday afternoons off, but Gert had clerical work to do. I was neither drunk, nor panicky when I called you, and I did not end the call with a bunch of giggles. I remember practically every word I said to you as if I had just placed the call five minutes ago.
And yes, I did not take very good care of Mom’s wedding dress in the beginning. But you did not return it by throwing it at my feet and yelling at me. And the year you returned it was 1983, not 1978. And I never got the beads back. So if I originally did not take good care of the dress, you also had a hand in “disrespecting” it.
Where did you get the idea that my grandfather molested and murdered his first born son Richard? Who told you that? If anyone did, they are lying. Richard died of diptheria.
And the idea that my father molested us? Where does this stuff come from? Let me set you straight right here and now, MY FATHER DID NOT MOLEST ME OR MY SISTERS. Kathy kicked him in the balls because that is the most effective place to kick a guy. And that was because Dad stormed into our bedroom with his “Big Daddy” routine. Kathy was getting dressed. She had on slacks and was starting to put on her blouse and yelled at Dad because he saw her in her bra. He yelled back at her “I made you, I can look at you. Now get downstairs and clean up that mess.” Dad was too mad to be thinking about her boobs!
The evening before, our brother Butch was on the phone with his friend George. Kathy came in and wanted to use the phone. Butch said no, cause the last time she said it was important, she ended up calling her girlfriend Pat and told her some new gossip about the Beatles. This time, Butch refused to give up the phone. Kathy reached over and tried to hang up the hook on the wall phone. Butch got up and the next thing you know, the two of them were going at it. John and I were watching from the dining room, George heard it over the phone. Dishes were broken, food ended up on the floor. Then Kathy stormed out of the house. Shortly afterwards, Butch left too, leaving me and John with the mess. Which of course, we did not touch. When Dad came home, we told him what happened and when the guilty parties came home, they were told that they were going to get up the next morning at 6:00 and clean it up. And sure enough, 6:00 the next morning (a Saturday), Dad came upstairs and woke Kathy up. She got up, went to the bathroom and came back upstairs. She was taking her time getting dressed, I could hear Dad downstairs yelling at her to get down there and clean the mess up. I didn’t see him, but Butch tells me that at this point, he was already in the kitchen cleaning. Kathy kept dawdling, Dad was getting madder and madder and that’s when he came up to our room.
Since you were raised as an only child, the above scenario would seem alien to you. But it happens all the time when you get brothers and sisters together. Real life ain’t like The Brady Bunch. I remember our cousins Gail and Norman going at it too! And since I spent so much time there, I was involved in a few brawls with them. One time Aunt Catherine broke in the bathroom door after Gail locked herself in to avoid a thrashing.
It is my understanding that you plan to use my true name and photograph in your book. Well, I am hereby serving you notice that if you do, and you keep that reference of me being drunk when I called, you will be served with a lawsuit for invading my privacy and portraying me as a drunk. You do not nor have ever had my permission to use my name or like ness. And you had better not even of publishing that garbage about my grandfather and father. I don’t like it one bit when I find that strangers are reading that my grand father is a murderer and my father is a molestor. There is no truth to these “speculations” of yours and that is just what they are-speculations of your warped mind.
You were hopping mad when two doctors wrote an article about your daughter’s medical condition in a medical journal, claiming that your privacy was invaded. You want YOUR privacy protected, but what about Gert and Kathy’s privacy? It is up to THEM to tell anyone about their childhood NOT YOU! And what about MY privacy? Who gave you the right to send a “detailed family history” (your version of it) to Commissioner Deborah Merrifield of Social Services? Where was MY privacy when you wrote to the Director of Patient Accounts of Buffalo General Hospital and told him MY personal medical history and MY marital status? What do those two things have to do with YOUR erroneous hospital bill? And where do you get off repeatedly calling my place of employment trying to get me fired? Your phone calls were described to me as “bizarre.” I told everyone, “Of course they’re bizarre, they’re coming from a bizarre person.”
And of course your scheme to break me and John up certainly didn’t work. What did you think to accomplish when you dragged his mother in it? My future mother-in-law sees you for what you are-a trouble-making idiot.
I must hand it to you though, you gave it a good try by calling child abuse on yourself and naming my fiance as the perpetrator, hoping that I would get blamed for the call. Your mistake was that you went overboard by writing letters to the mayor of Buffalo, and other elected officials. I simply sat back and watched you hang yourself. I don’t need to do anything to you, you seem quite capable of digging your own grave.
A relationship of any kind is two-way, not one-way, and that way being YOUR way whether we like it or not. Your attitude has always been, “This is how it will be. Take it or leave it.” And that is exactly what I and so many others have done. We chose not to take it, and left. How many friendships have you destroyed throughout the years? Well, you can add two more to the ever growing list of people who cared about you, had enough of your bullshit and lies, and have broken off their friendship to you. Those being my fiance John and your friend on Balzac Court. No, I did not “badmouth” you, nor did I tell you to put her address on a bullshit letter you sent to my house. You destroyed that friendship all by yourself. Again, you are own worst enemy. And that is the real reason our reunion went sour, not because of some complex psychological feelings of guilt and shame from our dysfunctional childhood, nor feelings of jealousy that you had a secure home growing up while we did not. We simply grew tired of putting up with your rotten behavior. Your behavior is unacceptable and can not and will not be tolerated. Your behavior has cost you the very thing you wanted-your birth family. And don’t try to get yourself off the hook by saying that it wasn’t you who initiated the search, but that it was Gert and me who brought you something you did not want. You had already made the conscious decision when you turned 18, to search for your birth family. You wanted us just as much as we wanted you. It truly is a shame that our lost sister, despite growing up in a stable home environment did not learn the moral values that we did. I am not saying that I’m Miss Goody Two-Shoes. I’ve done a lot of stuff in my life, but nothing compared to your evil plotting, lies, and thefts. I’d bet Shadya is happy that she had to contend with me and Fran and not you. Anything that we did to Shadya pales in comparison to what you have done. We never once called her job and tried to get her fired, or frame her so that she would get arrested or hauled into court on some bullshit “harassment” charges. And we never made off with 900 bucks of hers!
I especially love the time when after I told you in December 1990 that I wanted nothing more to do with you, you had the nerve to call and leave a message on my answering machine saying that money shouldn’t come between sisters. YOU who had only worked a few temporary jobs, and those not very hard ones either are going to lecture ME about MY hard-earned money! I bust my ass at my job. Many times I have to drag myself home on the bus with my feet and back killing me. I have pulled my back out 4 times and in June of 1997, I was out on disability because I was assaulted (kicked in the neck) by a confused patient. And the money you STOLE was not even my money. I had borrowed that money from the credit card, and had to work my ass off to pay it back, going with out a car, because YOU helped yourself to the money to fix YOUR car. When my car broke, I did not have the money to fix it, all my paychecks went to pay back the bank for the borrowed $900.00 you stole. And when dear old Uncle John got laid off, and we did not have the money to pay our electric bill, they shut our electricity off. I called you to beg you for some money-THE MONEY YOU STOLE FROM ME-and you kept hanging up on me, then LIED and said that I hung up on you!
Then used that lie to press bullshit harassment charges on me. This is how you treat your sister that you “love” and your “dear” friend and “uncle” John to your children, a “member of your family.” Remember, HIS electricity was turned off too, and the years we went without a car and could not buy another because I was paying off a debt that I shouldn’t have had to, I was out in the cold waiting for buses too. But you don’t care about that do you? You only care about JONI’S discomfort and JONI’S happiness and to hell with everyone else!
And then you start the bullshit again last month by lovingly informing me that my fiance got my next door neighbor pregnant and they had a baby girl in June 1994. Well, the only two newborns from that house in the past ten years were BOYS. The first, D.J.,born in 1992, looks exactly like his Dad, Danny. The second, Jesse, was born in 1995. I was working the night he was born, and I held him at 5:00 in the morning, just hours after his birth. Charlene and I were oohing and aahing over his little pee-pee. I guarantee, Jesse was a BOY not a girl. Did you really think that John would remain your friend after you told such a lie about him? Open mouth and insert foot, Joni.
I was recently informed that some time ago, you tried to engage a “hitman” to kill me. What a sweet loving sister you are! This is how you show that you love me? In the letters you sent me in the beginning of March you say that you love me, yet you threaten my life? Could this possibly be the reason why I don’t like you? Go ahead, whine some more that me and my sisters don’t like you. To quote you from your letter dated March 1999, “For some reason you don’t like me.” Yeah, I really like people who threaten my life. I’m such a masochist, what can I say? I like people who steal close to $900.00 from me and tell lies about me. NOT!
I have already informed the District Attorney about the threat you made against my life. They can’t do anything at the present time, because it is only hearsay. But they are well aware of your threat, your harassing letters to me and other people, your attitude to various police agencies, and your false claims of having an arrest warrant for our cousin, (????), lies about me being convicted of harassment, of me being placed on probation, and you having an Order of Protection against me. I was NOT convicted or placed on probation. If you’re so smart, provide me with the name of my “probation officer.” You can’t come up with a name because I was never placed on probation. The judge merely told me to leave you alone for six months as a condition of dismissal. I left you alone, and the case against me was summarily dis- missed. The judge did give you an Order of Protection and the district attorney’s office did not like it one bit that YOU called MY house, two months after the judge told me to leave you alone. As usual, Joan does what SHE wants to do. You get the judge to tell me to leave YOU alone, but then you think that you can turn around and call and bother ME.
And since you don’t have an Order of Protection against me, I can drive down any street I want. Who died and left you boss, telling me I can’t drive on certain streets. I don’t know how you or your son “saw” me driving past your house since I did not have a car. I do now, and I’ll drive where I damn well please. Unless you bought the car or pay for the insurance and maintainence, you have no say on where I drive my car.
Oh, by the way, I was investigated by the district attorneys last month in conjunction to my complaint against you. I found out about it from someone I’m close to. I wel- come investigations, because I don’t break the law or make an idiot of myself like you do. I have nothing to hide. If I were you, I’d pray that nothing suspicious ever happens to me or John, because you will be the first person the district attorney will question. In closing let me thank you for providing me with an ad- dress last month that proved very rewarding to me. The gods above are indeed looking out for me. A couple of years after you and Colby made off with the $900, I was still fussing. John’s cousin Chuckie told me “Let it go. You’ll get the money back another way.” And I did. I hit the lottery twice, once with the three digit, and once with the four digit daily numbers for a total of $900.00. I also got a couple of hun- dred dollars from the scratch-off tickets. (I still have the payout receipts). And now, nine years later, I have been rewarded again with two things that I have been wanting a long time. My thanks to you because without the letters you sent me in March, they would not have come to be. YOU pro-vided the means by which I profited.
Goodbye, from your sister who truly does love and miss you, but realizes that your moral values are so different from mine, that we can never have a relationship again. Ruth
ps. I have the guts to put my name on a letter that I write. If you don’t have the courage and honor to sign your name and stand by what you say, then don’t bother saying it. But then again, since it was all a bunch of lies, it’s no wonder you were ashamed to put your name to it. You have proven again and again that you are nothing but a thief and a liar. As to the old saying “How do you sleep at night?” Well, maybe all the “anxiety attacks” that cause you to wake up at night screaming is really your conscience bothering you. I, on theother hand sleep very soundly. And very soundly indeed.
pps. When a “woman professional” (since when, you don’t even have a job, let alone a profession), writes a letter of complaint to a another woman professional, she doesn’t call her a bitch and tell her that she (the recipient of the complaint) almost got slapped in the face. That simply is just not done. It is most unseemly. Oh, now I get your profession! Professional student and welfare slob. You’ve only been going to school for the last twenty years. Your other job must be professional troublemaker and liar.
Now act like the spoiled little brat that you are and call up Daddy and whine: “Daaaddy, Ruth wrote me a leeetter, Daaaddy.” “I”m gonna tell Daddy on you Ruth, NYAH, NYAH” To quote you: “ACT YOUR AGE!”
Go ahead, whine some more at me “you don’t like me.”
NOTE from Gert…
see my post about letter exchange I had with Joan