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Doris Michol Sippel fka Joan Mary Wheeler engages in an unprovoked ATTACK on me and my family on the facebook page ADOPTION SUCKS. (what a nice grown-up name there). July 30, 2017

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Uncategorized.
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I have been trying to write this blog post for a couple of weeks. I have been very busy with my life. But I was made aware, by a friend via private facebook message that Joan Mary Wheeler, now going by her new name of Doris Michol Sippel had left a comment to a thread on the “Adoption sucks” facepook page.   https://www.facebook.com/groups/10484382277/

also please see Gert’s follow up post here…


The thread, started by Leslie Dann on July 10 at 3:26pm asked the question “Is there anyone else on here who has a diagnosed mental illness?”  — To which Joan/Doris answered with this comment:

“I have C-PTSD, depression, anxiety. My adoptive mother had several diagnosed mental illnesses for which I was treated in order to learn how to cope with her behavior. My adoptive father was her enabler. The rest of my adoptive father’s family (not all, thank goodness) all piled on the band wagon to emotionally abuse me after my reunion, so gang mentality increased my fear, anxiety, PTSD from their attacks. My natural blood family have undiagnosed mental illness, their attacks upon me are also responsible for my C-PTSD. “ 

Here is Leslie’s full comment: Is there anyone else on here who has a diagnosed mental illness? I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 19 after I went manic and saw hallucinations. I have been taking my medication for years, faithfully, but this past year I have been hospitalized three times for depression. I don’t know why except there are external factors, such as no support system and a job I’m just doing to get my pension. I told bfather about how I hadn’t been doing so well lately and he hasn’t answered my email. I think if you admit to being unhappy (even if you have a mental illness) they just don’t want to hear it. It upsets their adoption apple cart. Anyone else I would have told that to would have said that they were there to talk or reach out to. Bfather: silence. More disappointment. 

Leslie does not say anything to lead anyone to attack anyone. She (or he, as Leslie can be male or female), does say they had contacted their birthfather, but he hadn’t answered the email. Leslie says they were disappointed in their birthfather’s silence. However, Joan simply HAD to use the opportunity to ATTACK her birthfamily. She didn’t say she had been disappointed in her birthfamily, no, she ATTACKED us. AND her adoptive family. “The rest of my adoptive father’s family (not all, thank goodness) all piled on the band wagon to emotionally abuse me after my reunion, so gang mentality increased my fear, anxiety, PTSD from their attacks” – then she goes on to LIE about her birthfamily saying “My natural blood family have undiagnosed mental illness, their attacks upon me are also responsible for my C-PTSD.”

So, her entire birth family is mentally ill and are the cause for HER PTSD? –BULLSHIT.

So I left a post defending myself. And of course the adoptees went screwy because I stood up for myself and MY RIGHTS NOT TO BE LIED ABOUT. And of course, the adoptees can’t concieve that perhaps, one of their own is a lying asshole. of course not. I am sick of the bullshit “superiority” put forth by these assholes.  

The issue of my being an member of the group was brought up and the adoptees immediately took it that I follow Joan around the internet. Why yes, I do – that has been brought up on this blog many times – I FOLLOW JOAN/DORIS ON THE INTERNET TO SEE WHAT LIES SHE SAYS ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY. And by the way, since Joan is blocked from me on facebook, I can’t see what she says. I was sent her message by a friend. I did not ask him to send it to me. It doesn’t matter HOW I saw her comment. It doesn’t matter WHERE I saw her comment. It doesn’t matter WHO alerted me to it. What matters is she took this thread as an opportunity to lob an UNPROVOKED ATTACK against me.  

Speaking of people alerting me to Joan/Doris’ activities on the internet, every few months I get UNSOLICITED private message via facebook of such. I also get friend requests from adoptees, yes, adoptees, who are sick of Joan/Doris and her bullshit. Here is the screenshot of one of them. AND if you look at the right hand side, I blocked out names and profile pics of people, but another person, did send me an observation about “JW”



Getting back to the “adoption sucks thread” Joan/Doris comes back on the thread and tries to justify HER lies about me AND states another lie about me — THAT I AM IN DENIAL ABOUT MY UNDIAGNOSED MENTAL ILLNESS: 

Doris Michol Sippel In case you all are wondering where I’ve been…I’ve been quietly living my life today. Breakfast, laundry, church, lunch with a friend, grocery shopping, answered long distance phone call, prepared for work tomorrow, went to an outdoor concert, came back to this. Yes, I long ago blocked Ruthie and Gert so I cannot see their comments. All I see are the words of others talking to Ruth. Imagine being found at age 18 in 1974 by these weird women! I was in my senior year of high school, got enmeshed in their problems, got swept up in everyone’s anger at me, so I lashed back, until I sought therapy. I still cannot understand why we all have made it clear many decades ago that we want nothing to do with each other – and they still hunt me down. I do nothing to them.They attack other adoptees. …Ruth is 63 or 64, Gert is 70. I am 61. You see the content of my writing. Who has mental illness? Who admits to struggling? Me. As Daryl Bergmann said, NOT ME. Who is in denial? July 17 at 12:05am

Really now, Joan/Doris is proud of herself to admitting to being mentally ill, and calls on me to do the same. — oh, but didn’t she say in her first comment that I have an UNDIAGNOSED MENTAL ILLNESS? um, how can I admit to something that is undiagnosed????????????? ahhhh, the stupid, it burns, it burns!!!!?? this is just like Trump saying there was no Russian involvement, but Obama was in the wrong for not going after the Russians for their non-involvement. Joan/Doris shows us her own mental illness (just like Trump) with her non-sensical statement. 

Then Joan asks the adoptees if one of them can copy and paste what I wrote and send it to her. Um, but – the adoptees were bitching when I was sent a copy of paste of what Joan wrote about me. But it’s perfectly allright for them to copy and paste what I wrote. Double standard here as usual. One of the adoptees ask a question about Joan’s request:

Laurel Jenkins-Crowe I hope it’s OK for me to put in that I for one would like to know what would be done with that document. Could it be anonymized?

Doris Michol Sippel Laurel Jenkins-Crowe Not at all. I understand people’s need for privacy. 


The administrator of the group, Daryl Bergman, a buddy of Joan/Doris points out that Joan/Doris had not named me in her “diagnosing me and my family with a undiagnosed mental illness” : — however that point is moot. Joan/Doris has named me all over her website, has named my parents in her libelous book, has photographs of my parents in her book and on her website. I have no privacy.

Here is the full text of all comments:

Leslie Dann — Is there anyone else on here who has a diagnosed mental illness? I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 19 after I went manic and saw hallucinations. I have been taking my medication for years, faithfully, but this past year I have been hospitalized three times for depression. I don’t know why except there are external factors, such as no support system and a job I’m just doing to get my pension. I told bfather about how I hadn’t been doing so well lately and he hasn’t answered my email. I think if you admit to being unhappy (even if you have a mental illness) they just don’t want to hear it. It upsets their adoption apple cart. Anyone else I would have told that to would have said that they were there to talk or reach out to. Bfather: silence. More disappointment. – July 10 3:26pm

Doris Michol Sippel I have C-PTSD, depression, anxiety. My adoptive mother had several diagnosed mental illnesses for which I was treated in order to learn how to cope with her behavior. My adoptive father was her enabler. The rest of my adoptive father’s family (not all, thank goodness) all piled on the band wagon to emotionally abuse me after my reunion, so gang mentality increased my fear, anxiety, PTSD from their attacks. My natural blood family have undiagnosed mental illness, their attacks upon me are also responsible for my C-PTSD. July 16, 2017

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace I am Ruth Sippel Pace – birth sister of Doris Michol Sippel – I do not have any mental illness. I recently retired from a 43 year career as a Patient Care Assistant at a large metropolitan general hospital.

 During those 43 years, I worked on several med-surg nursing units, 4 years in the Medical Intensive Care Unit, 5 years in our Hospice Unit, several years in the Renal Transplant Unit.

 In 1995, I worked on a committee and won an award for my work on that committee – Finding New Solutions to Delivering Patient Care. I also worked several months in the Emergency Dept. in 2014.

 In 2003, between my husband and myself, we suffered the loss of six family members between July and Oct. – In Sept. 2003, my husband had open heart surgery, two weeks later, I was injured at work. I was very stressed out and one day I was reduced to a sobbing mess. I called my doctor immediately, and she had me come in the next day, whereupon she recommended I see a counselor – which I did.

I spoke with the counselor. He said there was nothing wrong with me – outside of experiencing extreme stress.

 In 1997, under the guidance of the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs, I organized and headed up a block club on my street. At that time I developed a ‘working’ relationship with my city district’s common council member, who to this day, remains a personal friend and supporter of my work to better my street and surrounding neighborhood.

 In 1994-95, almost daily phone calls to several departments all over the hospital for six months were placed to my employer with lies to get me fired — by Doris Michol Sippel. These calls were because at one time a patient whose name was similar to hers, got mixed up with Doris’ bill.

 I have never worked in hospital billing department – I have worked NIGHT SHIFT 11pm-7am on patient care nursing units.

 There was a meeting by hospital administration that no one was to accept any phone call from Doris.

 In 2012, she did it again, accusing me of computer fraud on my employer’s computer. My employer can (and did) trace EVERY KEYSTROKE I DID. —- I WAS EXONERATED. Who in their right mind calls someone else’s place employment over the span of almost 20 years with lies to get them fired?

Yes, we see Doris’s self-admission of mental illness.

And her self-diagnosis of ME is bordering on slander and libel, which she also was guilty of when she called my job AND published lies about me in her “autobiography” — to which I had actual police and court documents sent to her publisher. That publisher, Trafford, had their legal team go through the court documents I sent them and those official documents did not jive with the stories in her book that Doris attested were true and factual. The result? Her book was pulled from publication.

I have never been arrested, served time, served probation, yet Doris goes around saying I have. I have never taken drugs, drink only rarely.

I held down a very good job for 43 years. I am a homeowner, I had a brief fun career as a professional belly dancer in the 1980’s-90’s. I have had several people urge me to enter local politics.

I have been with my husband for 31 happy years. Yes, we have had problems, we go with the flow. Before that, I was in a domestic relationship with another good man for 10 years.

Ask yourselves — this thread is about self-confessions, NOT ATTACKS ON OTHER PEOPLE.

WHY is Doris attacking me and my other two older sisters? Because — when our mother died and for whatever reason my father relinquished her for adoption – DORIS IS BITTERLY JEALOUS THAT SHE WAS GIVEN UP FOR ADOPTION AND WE WEREN’T.

I was 3 years old when my mother died and Doris was given to adoption. My sisters were also children – 8 and 9. WE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

In 1974, we were reunited with her, but within 6 years, we could see Doris’ anti-social behaviors and one by one, members of her birth family told her to leave them alone. In 1989 Doris stole almost $700.00 from me and I too told her to hit the road. And she has spent the last 28 years punishing me for that with revenge tactics, harassments, false police reports.

When her book came out in 2009, I started a blog to refute the many lies about me and my family in that book. The past couple of years, I have not done much on the blog – but Doris will NOT leave me alone — I come to this website because as the birthsister of an adoptee, I do have a connection to adoption. I come to learn. (isn’t that what adoptees always say they want us to do?) — I rarely comment, I’m not here to make trouble — but what the hell is this?

Why can’t Doris speak her contributions to this thread WITHOUT DRAGGING ME INTO AND ACCUSING ME OF HAVING A MENTAL ILLNESS?

 I want the adminstrator of this page to remove that slanderous and libelous comment that tells people that I have an undiagnosed mental illness! — If it is undiagnosed, HOW DOES DORIS KNOW I HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS?



Use your brains and logic people — IF I HAVE AN ‘UNDIAGNOSED MENTAL ILLNESS’ — how does Doris KNOW I have a mental illness????? Again, I ask you — where is her medical degree? Where is her proof of such? Can she provide absolute proof of anything she says about me? NO. – I can, and I HAVE provided proof of her various harassments of me throughout the years – scanned documents that are on my blog. Letters written to me by her — and their envelopes, with dates, her signature, despite her attesting in her book on the internet that “I HAVE HAD NO CONTACT WITH MY BIRTHSISTERS FOR ALMOST 40 YEARS.” — 40 years takes us back to 1977 — hmm, I must have dreamed I was one of her bridesmaids in 1983. ps – now that I’m retired, I am a Paranormal Investigator — I hunt ghosts. If that makes me mentally ill, well then so be it. I’m happy and busy living my life – Doris is a bitter woman. screw her. I’m having fun.

Nicole Haun — Me thinks she protests too much

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace — experience almost 30 years of undeserved harassment and see how you like it my dear.

Nicole Haun — Depends on what you call undeserved…

Nicole Haun — Considering you joined this group and you followed her here to harass her, I’d say she’s getting the short end of the stick.

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace — as usual, the bully gets believed, and the bully’s victim is quashed, for daring to speak up. Ms. Haun – you are one of those adoptees who take blindly the word of someone simply because they are adopted – non-adoptees like me, our story is never taken seriously –

I didn’t follow her here – she has blocked me from facebook – I can’t see her comment – a friend of mine saw it, copied and pasted it and sent it to me via fb messanger – that’s how I know about it.

 but yeah, I know of the famous feud – and again — adotpees will take the side of the adoptee (Joan/Doris) and believe her in anything she says about me — simply because she says so. — as I said, on my blog – I have scanned police documents, and scans of harassing letters she sent to me, despite her saying on the internet – her website – that she hasn’t sent me anything. — in a court of law, all evidence must be examined – to see the whole truth — you don’t want to know the truth — because it would show that >gasp< an adoptee was lying.

 eh, my story isn’t worth anything, I’m not adopted, so of course – you dismiss me. I don’t have the right to defend myself or speak the truth of my own life.. so be it. have a nice day Ms. Haun.

Nicole Haun — so you have people following her? You have a blog that publicly harasses her? Sounds like you’re perfectly normal. (That’s sarcasm in case you’ve missed it) 

Daryl Bergmann — That profile has been removed. I’m sure she’ll be back with a sock puppet profile, a problem in any public group.

Nicole Haun — Daryl Bergmann so sad

Daryl Bergmann — Yeah. Doris doesn’t mention a name. Then boom, immediately on the defense to deny any form of mental illness pops up Ruth with a prepared novel for that exact purpose. Says a lot. Far more than intended. Adoption really does suck.

Daryl Bergmann — Believe whatever you want, but when the picture always looks like this…. Joe: There’s mental illness in my family. Jim: NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME

Jack (knows nothing about past): Pardon?

Jim: There you go taking his side! You always do that! You and everyone like you!! Joe lies!!! He’s the crazy one!!! NOT ME!!!

Jack: Ooooookay then.

Daryl Bergmann — I’m sure all members will come to their own conclusions on this after reading the three previous comments and replies. I don’t feel investigating the paranormal makes one mentally ill. The viciousness and extent of the replies tend to, though. A real “Chuck McGill” moment, if you’re a “Better Call Saul” fan. Not even time will heal those wounds.

Doris Michol Sippel — In case you all are wondering where I’ve been…I’ve been quietly living my life today. Breakfast, laundry, church, lunch with a friend, grocery shopping, answered long distance phone call, prepared for work tomorrow, went to an outdoor concert, came back to this. Yes, I long ago blocked Ruthie and Gert so I cannot see their comments. All I see are the words of others talking to Ruth. Imagine being found at age 18 in 1974 by these weird women! I was in my senior year of high school, got enmeshed in their problems, got swept up in everyone’s anger at me, so I lashed back, until I sought therapy. I still cannot understand why we all have made it clear many decades ago that we want nothing to do with each other – and they still hunt me down. I do nothing to them.They attack other adoptees. …Ruth is 63 or 64, Gert is 70. I am 61. You see the content of my writing. Who has mental illness? Who admits to struggling? Me. As Daryl Bergmann said, NOT ME. Who is in denial? July 17 at 12:05am

Doris Michol Sippel — Can anyone copy and paste all comments, including Ruth’s comments, in a Word doc and email the whole thread to me? dorismicholsippel@gmail.com … Thank you.July 17 at 12:07am 

Laurel Jenkins-Crowe I hope it’s OK for me to put in that I for one would like to know what would be done with that document. Could it be anonymized?  July 17 at 7:48am

Doris Michol Sippel I’d like a full account of what Ruth wrote. Yes, it could be anonymized. And, someone already copied it for me. Thank you. I’m sorry my adoption peeps have to see this harassment. I don’t see why my life is such an obsession with Ruth and Gert. 

July 17 at 5:38pm —Laurel Jenkins-Crowe Thank you! I’m glad the request wasn’t offensive.

July 17 at 6:09pmDoris Michol Sippel Laurel Jenkins-Crowe Not at all. I understand people’s need for privacy.


Doris Michol Sippel fka Joan Mary Wheeler was recently in a depressed state for some time (as per own admission) and WHAM! came out of it into a full-blown manic episode and foaming at the mouth over her anti-adoption and her hatred of her birth sisters. May 7, 2017

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Joan/Doris came across a website by a couple looking to adopt and made a blog post bitching about them on April 30, 2017. I was alerted to her new blogpost via my email because I subscribe to her blog. Not that I’m really interested in what that nutball has to say, but I ‘monitor’ what she writes. I have said in the past that I keep an eye on her online activities to be alerted to when she says shit about me. She calls my ‘monitoring’ her as CYBERSTALKING AND CYBERBULLYING. No, I call it monitoring to see what she says about ME. Keep your mouth shut about me Joan/Doris and then you won’t have pissed me off again. DUH!

So, yeah, I ‘subscribe’ to her blog and when I get an email notification of a new blog post by her – I go check it out. And yep, she did it again! — For a couple of years now, she has actually been posting her anti-adoption stuff (yawn) WITHOUT mentioning her birth sisters – ALL OF SUDDEN, SHE DRAGS US INTO HER SHIT AGAIN. And being spectacularly STUPID in her jab against us. Here’s the quote from her post: “I have had absolutely no contact for nearly 40 years with the sisters who found me. I want it that way. Not because I am against reunion, but because they are cruel, insanely vicious people. “

Let’s see, this is the year 2017 – minus 40 years – that takes us back to 1977. Um, Joan, asshole, did you forget I was one of your fucking bridesmaids when you got married in 1983? WHO drove you and your newborn daughter home from the hospital in 1986? And in your idiotic book you did mention that you and I used to be close, going to the beach together with your kids in 1989. Were you having a Donny Trump incoherent moment there? Listen, sweetie, if you want to be taken seriously, you need to get your math and facts correct – And I am NOT going to deal with “alternative facts” concerning MY life. Don’t forget, you filled your book with ‘alternative facts’ but – my sending the actual police and court documents to Trafford Publications is what counted – the real facts, baby, the real truth of what happened, and because you tried to pull a fast one, lying to Trafford that everything in your book was ‘factual and true,’ MY truthful documents got your book pulled from publication.

Also on facebook, when Joan/Doris shared her blog post to the facebook group “Adoption Sucks” she calls us “evil” – so, I am an evil cruel, insanely vicious person? Really Joan? really? Hows that again where in 2012 you called my job with lies to get me fired? And then you were on twitter dragging me into something I didn’t know anything about and accusing me of doing something, while I was sleeping. — I had no idea what she was talking about until I called a cousin to find out that another cousin’s husband had died, and I was NOT to arrange an adoption of her little girl. -????? newsflash – I’ve never been in the adoption industry.

Well, let’s talk about EVIL here.

 EVIL – calling your sister’s workplace with lies to get her fired. — that’s what Joan/Doris did to me in 1994-95 and 2012.

 EVIL is writing a letter to your sister telling her that her husband got the next door neighbor pregnant – and the house was vacant – that’s what Joan/Doris did to me in 1997.

 EVIL is scamming your sister out of $700.00 – that’s what Joan/Doris did to me in 1989.

Get your ‘evil sister’ straight Joan/Doris.

Let’s talk about LIES Joan/Doris –

Joan/Doris also said on the “Adoption Suck’s fb page that she figured out how to stop us from commenting on her blog. – um, nope, we never commented on her stupid blog. And she said she can’t stop me from liking her latest blog post – um, no, I never “liked’ her latest blog post. — here’s what she said: “Just a reminder, folks: please, let’s have more comments on this over at my blog! I finally figured out how to block my evil sisters from commenting. But I could not blocked them individually from the “Like” Button, so that is why I didn’t activate one. So please, head on over and fill up the comments! Thanks!”

Joan/Doris apparently was also ‘sanctioned’ by facebook because — she was willfully engaged in calling for CYBERSTALKING the website, the private email, and the public facebook page of the couple who were looking to adopt.

May 2 at 11:37pm — Doris Michol Sippel Hmm… I was punished by Facebook and blocked from posting for several days. WHY? Because I posted the contact info for J. HUH? THEY posted it on their blog and Facebook page! Well, I have it on file! Still gonna educated these morons!

UH, Joni/Doris, — maybe you should stop cyberbullying people. Oh? What’s that you said about me CYBERSTALKING AND CYBERBULLYING you when I freely admit to ‘monitoriing’ what you say about me? — Yes, another example of Joan/Doris doing exactly to people what she bitches about people ‘doing’ to her. What a fucking moronic hypocrite.

Now, let’s talk about Joan/Doris deigning to EDUCATE people. — “Still gonna educated these morons!” — she was foaming at the mouth at the couple who want to adopt because they said the wrong word. By the way, the past tense indicated by the d at the end of ‘educate’ was by Joan/Doris herself – the great, the all-knowing, the wonderful heroine of all adoptees. (yeah right). (Joan, dear, if you want to ‘educate’ people, be sure you are using correct grammar and spelling.)

Last time she ‘educated’ someone in ‘proper adoption terminology’ was in November 2017, at her very own first (and probably her last) book signing! She attended a group book signing for local authors sponsored by a local museum and she struck up a conversation with the author to her right, and then when the woman used ‘improper adoption terminology’ – Joan began yelling and screaming at her. No, I wasn’t there to witness it. How do I know what happened? JOAN/DORIS HERSELF POSTED ABOUT IT ON FACEBOOK!!! — Yes, JOAN/DORIS WAS ACTUALLY PROUD OF HERSELF FOR ACTING LIKE A BITCH! I doubt very much that she will have any book signings in the future.

Well Joan/Doris — I will use the adoption terminology that I always have and what YOU yourself always have — we are BIRTH-sisters. NOT sisters at all. YOU gave up the right to call yourself my sister when you finagled that money out of me, reneged on your promise to repay me, and started on your hate-filled harassments of me. Want a refresher Joan – read about your fucking EVIL AND VICIOUSLY CRUEL THINGS YOU DID TO ME – right here on this page of this blog: What is Demanded from Joan Wheeler (click here to be directed to new page–— who’s the EVIL one Joan? YOU ARE.

And as for ‘educating’ people, why don’t you educate your fellow angry adoptees on — infertility, that YOU boasted to me on the phone in 1987, saying “I know more about infertility than you think I do.” — no, bitch, you know nothing. And talk about evil and cruely vicious – THREE FUCKING TIMES I TOLD YOU DURING THAT PHONE CONVERSATION THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY MISCARRIAGE AND YOU KEPT YOUR FUCKING EVIL CRUEL MOUTH GOING UNTIL I SLAMMED THE PHONE DOWN.

You had given birth to two beautiful children by then, you knew that I had been trying to get pregnant for years, you were at the hospital while I was in surgery to repair the damage from my ectopic pregnancy. But YOU ‘knew’ more about infertility than me? I don’t think so bitch.

Here – why don’t you go educate your fellow angry adoptee who left this evil, cruel and vicious comment to the couple you attacked on April 30,. 2017. “my advice is to just keep fking , one of the little buggers will do the job eventually!”

Joan/Doris, you claim to be an expert in genetics, baby-making, sperm and egg stuff, sperm donors, etc., and with your extensive list of ex-boyfriends, you have the knowledge to educate that particular moron. Not only in how a sperm and an egg might meet or might not meet but in your extensive knowledge in men. You must know more positions that are in the kama-sutra!

aw, was that last paragraph evil and viciously cruel of me? TOO BAD. You asked for it bitch – next time, don’t drag me into your anti-adoption stuff.

But let us continue talking about evil and cruelly vicious people- Remember that time you were part of that discussion group Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change and you ‘angry adoptees’ were pissed at actress Edie Falco being an adoptive mom? And one bitch in that group said “Would someone stuff a sock in her (Edie Falco’s) mouth, soak it in gasoline and set it on fire?”

You, Joan/Doris and all your ‘angry adoptees’ buddies are all a bunch of sick assholes.


gertmcqueen – May 8, 2017 

excellent post! The reason that Joan/Doris was PUNISHED by Facebook was NOT because she published someone’s phone or personal info (which was posted via them on their page) but BECAUSE J/D WILLFULLY cyber-stalked, harassed and called for OTHERS to do the same and then contact FB that the page was spam! J/D did the same thing to that author in Buffalo last Dec. Ruth and my comments are still on the FB page AGAINST J/D’s actions.


She thinks nothing of destroying other people if they DON’T do as she says! She has done this ALL her life! If anyone really WANTS to know about her just read Ruth and my blogs and the back and forth comments on Amazon for her 3 lying books and the forums on Amazon. Sure that would be a LOT of work, but with OUT THE KNOWLEDGE of J/D’s CHARACTER and her past DEEDS AND WORDS, no one can counter her. In other words…if you are HER VICTIM you must take actions against her. How? Spread the words about her to your friends and your agencies, PRIVATELY. Here’s what you NEED.

The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism’ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/ this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor


 this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

Also see this Facebook page…which is a STUDY of the books.


 In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

 Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum


 Joan Mary Wheeler forum


 review of first book and 4 comments



Doris Michol Sippel aka Joan Mary Wheeler just CAN’T keep her mouth shut about me. She gets shot down on Huffington Post, and brings me into it – even tho I was OUT of it (Jan, 2017). February 11, 2017

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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I have been meaning to put up this blog post for a month now. But life keeps getting in the way. Wierd how that works. lol. This is about Joan/Doris browbeating people, as usual, who have a different viewpoint than her. In this case, a simple article about human breast milk turns into Joan putting down adoptive mothers (her favorite past time because she has no life other than heaping hate onto adopters and adoption), flinging mud at people, and getting the mud flung right back at her, and then frigging DRAGGING ME INTO IT.  

I had seen the preview to this article when a Facebook friend of mine shared it. I glanced at the article, didn’t bother to comment on it. Gert looked at the article and comments and noticed one comment by Cathy D. that said basically that Joan was wrong and countered Joan’s claim that adoptive moms who breastfeed their adoptive children (if they are able to) are abusing the babies and commented that Joan does not know what abuse is. Gert answered Cathy, another commenter disagreed with Joan, and Joan was off and running – trashing Cathy D. and Ramona J. (the second commenter), Gert, and by extension ME. — Joan said “And, if there are any comments here from my sisters ( they are blocked from my Facebook but I can guess they are still cyber stalking me) I can assure you that they are guilty of many abuses upon me and my adoptive mother, and my children. ” — Take note how she types sister(S) – plural, when only ONE sister (Gert) had commented, and then notice how she goes out of her way to say she can’t see OUR comments, because she has blocked us, and then proceeds to tell LIES about us again. I’d like to know what abuses I heaped on her mother and kids. As to anything I wrote to or about her, was in answer to the abuses she has done to me! But this post is not about all that – it’s that I’d like to know WHY Joan went out of her way to mention us. — But I already know the answer to that question — we CAN see each other comments on Huffington Post AND Gert and I DO see Joan’s Facebook posts because sometimes people will take screenshots and send them to us via Facebook private message. 

So, if Gert and I can SEE Joan’s activity, Joan can see US. And she SAW Gert’s comment – because otherwise, she wouldn’t have brought us into the conversation – IF she hadn’t seen Gert’s comment, she would have kept the mud-slinging to Cathy D. and Ramona J. – AND she ONLY saw Gert’s comment – not anything from ME, because — I HAD NOT WRITTEN A COMMENT. — So WHY the sister(S) plural? Because Joan WANTS me in her life. Despite always saying on the internet she wants me OUT of it. 

She has not mentioned us online in a looooonnnngggg time. She must be getting lonely. We have noticed, that when Joan is ill, breaks up with her boyfriend-of-the-month, something goes wrong in her life (usually of her own doing), she gets going on the internet and says something she knows we will see. We have made her aware that we MONITOR (she calls it cyber-stalking), but we MONITOR what she says BECAUSE OF THIS HERE BULLSHIT. She can’t keep her fucking mouth SHUT about us.  

Her latest act of self-sabotage was on November 26, 2016, when she appeared at her very first book-signing event as an author. A local history museum sponsored a group book-signing event for new/up-and-coming authors. Joan, striving to become a ‘noted author,’ gets into an argument with the lady next to her and began SCREAMING at the woman, because the woman used “wrong adoption terminology.” At a public event, JOAN IS SCREAMING AT SOMEONE. — Then Joan takes it two notches higher (or rather lower, since she is a low-life, and she always engages in underhanded shit) – she posts on December 1, 2016 on Facebook of how PROUD she is that she VERBALLY ABUSED this woman (but reports that her sisters ‘abuse’ her) and then publicizes the woman’s contact info and commands other wacko adoptees to CYBER-STALK and otherwise stalk the woman (but bitches when (?) her sisters cyber stalk her). My guess is that Joan KNOWS she shot herself in the foot by acting like an asshole at the book-signing event, and turned people against her, and had ‘gone into herself’ again. (she does that when she is in the depressive state of her bi-polarism). And then decided she wanted contact with her birth siblings again. (and we have noticed that this is what she does when she goes depressive – she starts talking about us). She desperately WANTS us in her life. AND because — she only saw ONE comment from ONE birth sister – Gert, and ONLY Gert, she decided to pluralize it – to DRAG ME INTO IT. And I responded as I always do – throw the mud right back at her.  

So here is the entire comment exchange and the link to the webpage: 

Joan’s first comment: commenting as her birth name Doris Michol Sippel

Doris Michol Sippel · Owner-operator at Self-Employed A quote from the article: “ ‘As I was reading an article about how breast milk carries up to a million white blood cells in one drop, my mom was already looking at her blood, so I asked if we could see the white blood cells in my milk while she had the microscope on,’ she recalled.” 

Nature intended mothers to breastfeed their own babies. But, all-to-eager and misguided adoptive “mothers” have convinced doctors to build a breastfeeding apparatus that straps onto the woman, with a bag of milk or formula attached to a tube which is placed near the nipple so that the infant she adopted from the real mother can suckle. The action of suckling, combined with drugs the woman takes to artificially stimulate her mammary glands to produce milk, eventually begins to produce milk. Thus, an adopter can breastfeed the newborn.  

To adopters, this is great! Photos have been plastered all over the internet by bragging adopters about this wonderful invention. 

From the baby’s perspective, however, this is deception. The baby is fed artificially produced milk from a mother who is not the biological mother. So there are no correct antibodies, no natural white blood cells in this milk. This is a form of sexual abuse, child abuse, and medical malpractice. 

What other microscopic bits are passed on through breastmilk? Can artificially produced breastmilk from a non-biologiocal mother harm an infant?  

Perhaps it is time to ask the medical profession to protect infants from this forced abuse. 

I am an adopted person who has researched adoption since 1974. Many other adopted individuals are also repulsed by adopters who think they can fulfill a biological role that only the real mother can fulfil. (sic) 

Thank you for posting this as a reality wake up call to those who think they can imitate nature. 

Jan 9, 2017 8:16pm

Cathy D.· Owner-operator at You design      …Abuse? I think you might need to look up the definition of “abuse.” You do realize that without that “artifically produced milk” the baby would still require artifically produced milk from another mammal in order to sustain life, correct? If an adoptive parent goes to that great a length to nurture a baby when that same result can easily be purchased, that child is the very furthest thing from abused. Please seek counselling, your issues with adoption are not healthy. 

 Jan 9, 2017 11:37pm      Gert Mcqueen · Works at Happily Retired Cathy D… Doris Michol Sippel (adopted as Joan Mary Wheeler) has a long history of histrionics; she likes drama, likes to shock people. By using these techniques she thinks people will listen to her profound wisdoms for they don’t have ‘her’ background and knowledge (she’s an expert). Generally people are turned off by her. No amount of reasoning works on her! She’s anti-adoption so any topic that she can hijack, she will, to promote her anti-adoption crap. 

Ramona J.      Doris, your adoption experience is not that of all adopted people. Help is available for your issues. Clearly you require professional assistance to deal with them. 

Doris Michol Sippel · Owner-operator at Self-Employed      Ramona J. I do not need help, thank you. I am an activist. You people are sorely uniformed. And, if there are any comments here from my sisters ( they are blocked from my facebook but I can guess they are still cyberstalking me) I can assure you that they are guilty of many abuses upon me and my adoptive mother, and my children. Go ahead, have a heyday. I have been mocked since 1974. Yet, I stand strong in my activism, for I know I am right. Think what you like, water off the duck’s back. 

Gert McQueen to Ramona    Ramona J…

Ah yes.. Doris Michol Sippel (adopted as Joan Mary Wheeler) does indeed detest her birth siblings! Why?? Because we bring forth the exploitation, libel and misrepresentations that ‘she’ has written about OUR PARENTS! She can’t abide that anyone should contradict her! She’s been in ‘therapy’ for over 30 years, she does love therapy! When I ADOPTED my flesh and blood in ‘step-parent’ adoption, she could NOT abide that! Why? She’s anti-adoption, period, end of story, don’t try to convince her of anything other than what she KNOWS…poor baby! No one understand her!

Her first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism’ published in 2009, was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011 due to libelous material in it. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’, being her own editor and owner. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and reedited and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people! 

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace · Queen at Retired     ah yes, the old “lump all her birth-sisters into one entity delusion.”

I am the other birth sister (Gert is one, I am the other). I read all this a few hours ago and was not interested in leaving a comment, but since Joan/Doris dragged me into it.  

Cyberstalking??? Let’s talk plain stalking. Back in November 2012, Joan/Doris wrote a letter to my job with lies to get me fired. Which she has been doing on and off since 1995. I hauled her into court, but in July 2013 the judge dismissed the charges, because I hadn’t been affected by it – i.e. not sanctioned by my job. Joan/Doris said I was committing computer fraud. lol. But my employer can and did trace every keystroke that I had done. I was exonerated. So, since I hadn’t ‘suffered’ anything – the charges were dismissed. BUT prior to my filing the charges, Joan/Doris went right here on Huffington and BRAGGED about calling my job to get me fired. – it’s under her comments under Joan M Wheeler – you’ll have to search for it. 

Also in 2013 she had her boyfriend threaten me via his blog to expose my ‘dark dirty secret.’ (I have no idea what that is). I told him via MY blog that I do not respond to emotional blackmail and that if he knows something about me to go right ahead and say it. And the Buffalo police and the Erie County District Attorney would be very interested in finding out how and why this man, who never met me, never spoke to me, knows things about me and is threatening me. — lol. apparently, he broke up with Joan/Doris right after that. 

by the way, prior to that blackmail attempt, on his blog he was asking about a fight I had with an Arab lady whose name started with S. — oh my gods! that was in September 1979!!! Joan/Doris is going around telling her boyfriends 35 year old gossip about me!!! lol – lol – lol. 

Joan/Doris had her first book pulled from publication because I sent police/court documents to Trafford Publications that proved that she libled me in her book. 

Well, now that I’ve retired, she can’t call my job anymore to get me fired. I have taken her toy away.

CLICK HERE to see the original post and the comments.


1. gertmcqueen – February 13, 2017

NOTE WELL what two different people say here to Joan/Doris…

1) Please seek counselling, your issues with adoption are not healthy.

2) Help is available for your issues. Clearly you require professional assistance to deal with them.

and what Joan/Doris says…

I do not need help, thank you. I am an activist. You people are sorely uniformed.

And this is why we keep shining the light on J/D…everyone else sees and knows what she does not. She’s right everyone else is wrong.

Joan Mary Wheeler and Brian T. Maloney – get out of my life before I have the authorities MAKE YOU LEAVE. August 2, 2016

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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I HAVE NOT HAD TIME TO FUCK WITH JOAN MARY WHEELER AND/OR HER FUCKING PUPPET BRIAN T. MALONEY – and yet, these two mother fuckers have decided the end of June 2016 to begin checking me out – by stalking my LinkedIN page.  

So if Joan Mary Wheeler begins saying that I, Ruth, have been harassing her, bothering her, or any other shit – fuck that – she needs to shut her fuck lying mouth. I am not obligated to take her shit year after year.  

The past 10 months, since I have been retired, I have had little time for shenanigans. From the first day I retired, I’ve had to scramble to apply for social security, my pension, health care coverage for me, prescription coverage for my husband, dental coverage for both of us, get our life insurance policies straightened out (transistion from employer plan to private plan). It took 3 months to get all that in place. And things are still in a state of flux, since all this is temporary, as I have one more year until I turn 65 and will apply for Medicare. And get the various coverages in place AGAIN. 

From the time back in 2010 that I was switched (against my consent) from 8 hour work shifts to 12 hour work shifts) I have been too tired to keep up with housework. My wonderful husband John had stepped up to that role, but – and I hate to say it – he don’t clean right. But I was too exhausted to really step in. Now that I’m retired, I’ve been tackling the housework. First step – I totally cleaned out and organized my utility/laundry room.  

For the past two months, I’ve been going thru my wardrobe, seeing what fits, tossing what doesn’t fit – good enough for donation to thrift store? – laundered first, then sent off. Not good enough? cut up into rags. And all this during the hottest summer I’ve ever known. My second floor bedroom most times is hotter than the planet Vulcan. Very difficult to work in and try on clothes. So that project has been slow going. Still, I’ve emptied out one whole clothes dresser – cleaned the drawers, tightened the knobs, lined them with clean pretty wrapping paper, placed cedar blocks in to prevent insects. AND emptied out, cleaned, lined with tissue paper, added cedar blocks – 5 plastic storage boxes – 2 of sweaters – pullovers in one, cardigans in the other. Other storage boxes: 1 of my belly dancing veils and scarves, 1 of my belly dancing costume parts (bras, belts, headpieces, bracelets. 1 of dance/workout clothes (leotards, etc). 1 of slacks that are still good, but too small, but want to keep for when I lose weight. 

I’ve also started a project that has taken far longer than it should have – cleaning and staining the damaged hardwood floor of my living room. Section by section. Even though it will covered by a rug – the wood needed attention to prevent further damage. I’ve still got two small sections to do, then put down the rug, put the furniture back. The damn humidity prevents the stain from drying in a timely manner. 

THIS IS MY BUSY LIFE – JOAN AND BRIAN NEED TO STAY THE FUCK OUT OF IT. But I’m not too busy that I can’t march downtown and file harassment charges against the both of them if they don’t fucking leave me alone.


things I’ve also done the past several months: Acquired on CD – the complete run of Lois Lane comic books, (and read them), done more digitizing of my music collection, – got many cassette tapes and many vinyl record done. Acquired and watched certain DVDs and gotten rid of the VHS tapes of such. And read several books.

AND bought a free-standing air conditioning unit that gets vented to the outside – and the window vent kit is a piece of shit that needed much modulation. Took me 3 days to adapt that damn thing for a double-hung casement window with separate storm windows.  

I’m a busy woman and I don’t waste my precious time on losers like Brian or Joan. they can fuck themselves as far as I’m concerned.

two comments from my facebook page:

Gert Mcqueen I retired in 2007 and had a wonderful time BEFORE that bitch wrote that first book…while my time and life is still so WONDERFUL…I have devoted enough time to debunk her BS and expose her for what she is. In the meanwhile, the very ACT of writing blogs has given me NEW skills in my retirement, learning more computer stuff, keeping my writing thinking brain active…so after all SHE has contributed to my WONDERFUL RETIREMENT and the best part is is that I’M IN CONTROL AND SHE IS NOT 

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace exactly. WE are in control of OUR lives. WE have had successful careers, have wonderful husbands/partners, are financially secure, and are happy and content in our lives. Joan certainly is not. And by the looks of Brian’s shriveled face (more drawn in from pictures of him from a couple of years ago), and considering he’s had one failed business attempt after another, one failed job after another, goes to a social event (Millard Fillmore’s Birthday Bash) in an old sweater with a moth-eaten frayed collar (despite his being the son of a prominnet and well-to-do attorney) AND foreclosed on his mortgage, – it appears as Brian also is not very content with his life.

They are both obviously jealous losers.

Joan Mary Wheeler’s puppet for her dirty work Chimp Brian T. Maloney of Williamsville is stalking me again. July 31, 2016

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Now I rarely go to my linkedin page. But I went there a few minutes ago. (July 31, 2016, around 10:30pm). And I see that one of Joan Mary Wheeler’s puppets, Chimp Brian Maloney stalked my page one month ago.  See screenshot below. And my sister Gert reports that he had also checked her LinkedIn page a month ago as well.

In case you forgot, or in case you never heard, Chimpy Brian is the asshole that Joan manipulated into doing her dirty work. He started his own blog to harass me and my sisters because Joan told him to. 

She filled his head up with bullshit – and when Joan contacted my job with lies to get me fired in November 2012, and I pressed harassment charges on her in January 2013, Ol Chimpy decided to get in on the action.  He even showed up in court to give ‘moral support’ to Joan. Newsflash Chimpy – Joan wouldn’t need ‘moral support’ if she’d stop calling my job and getting herself in trouble. – anyway, Ol Chimpy tried to enter the courtroom, but the bailiff told him he had to stay outside – and I loudly said “This man is a stranger to me, and has no business in my family’s business or my life.”

He then announced on his blog that if I didn’t “leave Joan alone” he was going to reveal on the internet, my “deep dark secret.”  

I told him via my blog, that I do not respond to emotional blackmail, and that if he had something to say – he should just go ahead and say it. BUT the Buffalo Police and the Erie County District Attorney would be very interested in this man, who never met me face to face, never spoke to me, does not know a thing about me, but knows a “deep dark secret” about me and is threatening to expose it on the internet. 

The ass backed down right away.

To this day, I have absolutely no idea what the fuck he was talking about.

But I’m saying right here and now – if Chimpy is trying to start trouble with me – all I need do is march right down to the DA’s office. 

Get a life Brian. Get a job, pay your bills, you lost your condo cos you foreclosed on your mortgage – so don’t you think you should pay attention to your own miserable life and stay out of mine? – ps – info on his condo and mortgage foreclosure is in Erie County public records – available in Erie County Hall, downtown Buffalo, NY and on their website. — when someone decides to fuck with me – I do detective work on them. And I will fuck with them right back. I don’t start trouble, but I damn well finish it. – Brian – there has been a truce between you and I for 3 years – don’t fucking start it again. I’m retired now – I can go downtown and file charges any day of the week. GET LOST!

chimp brian

Here is the screenshot I took on July 31, 2016, showing that Brian stalked my page 1M ago – M means month on linkedin. AND it shows two linkedin members viewed my profile – but they opted to keep their identity private. I’ll bet you ten credits to navy beans that one (or both views) were by Joan herself. Now check out the dates – the last time my profile was viewed by a “private” member was June 25th, and then a month prior to today, July 31, Brian checked out my profile. Going back one month takes us to around the end of June/beginning of July – 5 days after a private member viewed my profile. — oh come on you two – grow the fuck up. Sigh, I suppose that loser Brian is stalking my facebook page as well. jackass.

Now, I must tell you readers something. YES, I have checked Brian’s linkedIn page in the past. WHY? Because as the injured party, as a person who has had lies told about her, by both Joan and Brian, I MONITOR what those fools write on the internet. And Gert does as well. 

yes, WE have checked their internet activity, but we are checking those assholes for evidence of further harassments. I explained this before on this blog – we check Joan’s online activities – because we NEED to know when she’s telling lies about us and/or our family. OUR family, Brian, not YOURS – butt out.

I also checked Brian’s facebook page in the past – I don’t like going there – for all his saying he’s a Reiki healer – what he posts on facebook is appalling – nothing but bigotry and hate. You can’t be a healer and carry all that hate around in your heart.  

You can’t be a healer and try to insert yourself into someone’s else’s life (mine) solely on the basis of lies told to you by someone else. Brian actually threw something in my face on his blog – about a fight I had with someone back in 1979! – I repeat – BRIAN MALONEY IS A STRANGER TO ME. HE HAS NEVER SPOKEN TO ME IN MY LIFE – The only time I laid eyes in person on him was the one time he appeared in court to lend ‘moral support’ to Joan when I pressed harassment charges on her. 

So, if Brian has never spoken to me, HOW DOES BRIAN T. MALONEY KNOW ABOUT A FIGHT I HAD WITH SOMEONE IN 1979? From Joan of course. But she says in her book that she doesn’t like people ‘gossiping’ about her – but she turns around and fills Brian the Chimp up with 37 YEAR OLD GOSSIP ABOUT ME and then this bully Brian puts that up on the internet?  

That’s the reason, no matter how distasteful it is, (cos I can’t stand to even look at that chimp’s picture – a dried up old skinny old bigoted man) – I will monitor his activities – because I don’t trust him.

A timeline of abuses that Joan Mary Wheeler has done to me. May 8, 2016

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
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A timeline of abuses that Joan Mary Wheeler has done to me. 

Joan Wheeler told many gross lies about me in her book Forbidden Family, published in November 2009. Because I still had the court documents that proved what she said in her book were lies, I sent copies of those documents to Trafford Publishers, and their legal team agreed that Joan libeled me in her book. In May 2011, the book was pulled from publication.  


Joan continously says on the internet that she was stalked her entire life by her birth siblings. This is a statement that is not only false, but clearly shows where she is putting the blame for her adoption –ON HER BIRTH SIBLINGS!

 HER ENTIRE LIFE is what she says –so let’s see –she was born in 1956 –in 1956, I was three years old, turning four in August 1956. My brother had just turned 6 in January 1956, Kathy turned 8 in May 1956 and Gert turned 9 years old in January 1956.

 How do four little kids stalk someone? Joan’s statements about her birth siblings are not only lies –they are not RATIONAL! 

Joan’s hatred and bitterness towards her birth-sisters are born of an irrational, delusional, and totally incorrect thought. –We had nothing to do with her adoption! We did not stalk her for her entire life. We are NOT the cause for Joan’s inner demons. We are just convenient punching bags for her because she cannot and will not put the blame for her miserable life on the person who is responsible –the woman who raised her.

I want everyone to really look at this meme and really digest what it says:

 destroy life 

Now, let’s apply this to what Joan Wheeler has done to me.  

1990 stole hundreds of dollars from me by dipping into a joint checking account that we had together for the purpose of buying real estate. Joan used MY money to fix the brakes on HER car – without asking me. A refund from the lawyer we used was split between Joan and me – Joan agreed to give me all the money the lawyer sent her to compensate me for the money she stole. In December 1990 she phoned me and said she changed her mind and was keeping the money. I told her to go fuck herself and get the fuck out of my life.  

1991 Joan begins her campaign to destroy my life. She calls my house and speaks to my husband’s cousin who was living with us at the time. Joyce scribbled a note to me to go on the bedroom phone and listen in. I heard lies, lies, lies – and Joyce said that Joan was trying to turn her against me.  

Joan’s husband at this time, was being a bad boy – he was making ATM withdrawals from the checking account he had with Joan and was using the money at a strip joint. Joan accused me of hacking into her checking account by robbing the ATM and stealing the money.  

1992 out of the clear blue sky – greeting cards supposedly from Joan’s children suddenly began arriving at my house – for my husband “Uncle John” but clearly omitting Aunt Ruth – Joan begins brainwashing her own children.  

1993 Joan gets an annoyance phone call and blames me – calls the phone company to set up a trace trap (pre caller-ID days). To bait me into calling her, she forges a letter from her son – addresses the envelope in her handwriting to me, but the letter inside – written by Joan, but she signs it as her 10 year old son. I stupidly took the bait and called her. But she says, “hold on a minute” and hangs up. Thinking we were disconnected, I called back. She says “wait a minute” again and hangs up. I call again – same thing. I gave up. But Joan calls the phone company and files a police report that I called her and hung up on her – three times. Which is all they need to file charges. Joan LIED AND FILED A FALSE POLICE REPORT ON ME. Phone records at that time did show three short incoming calls from my number. They don’t show who hung up on whom! So we went to court and the judge gave her a restraining order against me – dated August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. I know the date cos it was my birthday – August 9 – and still have the court documents.  

1994 – a typing mistake made a billing clerk in the billing office where I work mixed Joan’s hospital bill up with a patient with a similar name. Joan claimed I did it. She called my job with a complaint. They investigated and traced the mistake to the typing mistake. They also told Joan that I could NOT have done it, as I don’t have access to the billing computers. Joan wasn’t going to have it – she KNEW I did it – and for six months – an almost daily basis – kept calling the hospital and telling anyone who answered the phone that I was a bitch and a troublemaker. She told numerous people to fire me. – I was told later about this and hospital adminstrators even had a meeting and people were told that when Joan Wheeler called to hang up on her.  

December 1994 – Joan calls child abuse on herself, posing as me, giving out my name, and naming my husband as a child molester of Joan’s children. Joan writes to New York State Child Abuse center and tells them that in 1993 I was sentenced to six months PROBATION.  

January 1995 – Joan writes several letters to elected officials in the city of Buffalo, including the mayor – these letters contained personal and medical information about me, and tells them that I have a criminal record. Joan sends me copies of these letters, which I use to charge her with harassment, but the judge dismisses the charges, saying “sisters should get along.” When Joan received the summons to court, she begins writing letters to my husband and his mother telling them I am a bitch, John should leave me, and asks my mother in law to appear in court against me. My mother in law had never met Joan. Joan kept calling her on the phone until her other son grabbed the phone and swore at Joan that if she called the house again, the police would be called. 

1997 – Joan asks friends of hers to find a hitman to take me out.  

1998 – I received a harassing letter from Joan stating that I was seen driving past her house. I did not have a car at the time so no, I did not drive past her house. I was also accused of violating the order of protection that she had put against me five years earlier – which was the first time I had heard of that – and she had not said that when I took her to court in 1995.  

February 1999 – Joan sends me a letter stating that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant and they had a baby girl in 1994. The house was vacant – and since 1987 (when I moved into my house) there were only two babies born at the house next to me – DJ in 1990 and Jesse in 1992. 

The letter Joan sends me is in an envelope with a return address belonging to a friend that Joan is fighting with. She does not have permission to use her friend’s address. 

I take Joan to court again for harassment and am granted a one year order of protection against Joan. 

January 2004 – after a few months of relative freindly interaction on the internet via a family photo sharing website that I was trying to build, Joan sends me a filthy email (out of the clear blue sky) accusing me of setting her up. I did not have a home computer at the time, and would use public computers at the downtown library or the medical library at my work (which we were allowed to use). I was out sick for a week in January and did not see Joan’s rotten email. It got buried and I finally saw a few weeks later – and I answered her and told her that our uneasy truce was not going to work because she falsely accused me of something I didn’t do. She emails me back – bitching at me – so I told her via email to go to hell.  

November 2009 – Joan goes to a vanity press to have the book she had been writing for 30 years published. In it were many lie, distortions and misrepresentations of myself, my family, my husband. And out and out libel. Statements that the order of protection that she received against me was for one year, not the six months it actually was for.  

Summer 2012 – tells a friend of hers – one Brian Maloney old gossip about me having a fight with someone back in 1979. Joan tells Brian so much bullshit about me that Brian himself begins to cyber-harass me and even stoops to emotional blackmail by threatening to expose my “dark dirty secret” on the internet. I stood up to his abusive threats by telling him to go right ahead and say what he wants – but the police and the courts would be very interested in how a man who is a total stranger to Ruth, never spoke to Ruth face to face, knows Ruth’s “dark dirty secret.” Brian backs off. – So once again, Joan is trying to ruin my reputation. 

November 2012 – writes an anonymous letter to my job accusing me of computer fraud and demands that I be fired. 

January 2013 – admits on the internet that she indeed sent that letter and then says that I’ve been calling her house from my job to set up medical appointments for her.  

So let’s sum up the rotten shit Joan has done: 

1990 – steals money from me, reneges on repayment plan. 

1991 – tries to turn my husband’s cousin against me, accuses me of robbing an ATM. 

1992 – begins to use her children as pawns to turn my husband against me. And begins to brainwash her children against me. 

1993 – sets me up by baiting me to telephone her house, hangs up on me 3 times, then files a false report on me and hauls me into court. 

1994 – begins calling my job with false accusations to have me fired. – Calls child abuse posing as me, trying to get my husband to break up with me. Writes letter to New York State libeling me. 

1995 – continues calling my job trying to get me fired, Writes libelous letters about me to various elected officials. Writes to my mother in law, trying to turn her against me. Writes to my husband telling him to leave me. 

1997 – tries to get me killed. 

1998 – writes stupid harassing letters to me. 

1999 – writes to me telling me my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant. 

2004 – falsely accuses me of things I didn’t do. 

2009 – publishes a libelous book that portrays me as criminal. 

2012 – contacts my job again to get me fired. Continues to try to ruin my reputation by having a friend of hers threaten me with emotional blackmail. 

So — Joan has a history of trying to destroy me personally, trying to destroy my reputation with elected officials and personal friends and in-laws, trying to destroy my relationship with my fiance and my marriage. And trying to destroy my career. 

What did that picture say again? – “you know how to tell when someone is miserable with their own life? When they look for ways to destroy someone else’s.”  

Joan Wheeler is so miserable in her own rotten life, that instead of trying to fix her own life, she has set out for almost 24 years – to destroy my life. 

That’s why I have this blog – to show the world what a bitch Joan is – and to show that she has not, and never will – destroy me.

2016: a new year and I’M BACK! to blog about Joan Mary Wheeler’s lies in her Forbidden Family trashbook. January 3, 2016

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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update – February 3, 2016

Still haven’t had time to really sit down and make a new ‘front page’ for this blog. But just want to share links to my social media sites. Feel free to come visit me.  —-   Facebook  —-  Pinterest  —-  LinkedIn  —-  Twitter  —-  GoodReads

Happy 2016

Ruth’s note: January 4, 11:17pm EST. I corrected a couple of typos and grammar mistakes. Yes, even moi, the Queen, makes mistakes. lol.
January 8, 11:00am EST. lol – I found a couple more little mistakes and corrected them. I think I finally got this post done right. (need more coffee).

Gosh, it’s been a long time since I’ve done any blogging. I’ve done a couple of posts here and there, but for about a year and a half, I haven’t done a darn thing. I’ll be revamping the home page of this blog in a week or two. But for now, I wanted to get this update posted.

Why haven’t I been blogging? Well, in the summer of 2014, I pulled my shoulder out assisting a patient into bed. She started slipping and rather than see her drop to the floor, I held onto her, and lifted her up. POP went my shoulder! Fortunately I did not tear my rotator cuff, but I had to go to physical therapy 3 times a week, then down to 2. My doctor ordered me not to use my left arm, Worker’s Compensation told me to go on “light duty.” So I was assigned to man the registration desk in the emergency room. THAT was quite an experience!

Also, back in 2011, we were forced to change from 8 hour work shifts to 12 hour shifts. The whole summer of 2014 consisted of: working, sleeping, physical therapy, doctor appointments. Then in January 2015, I get out of my van in a parking lot and started slipping on the ice. I still had hold of my van door and prevented myself from falling, but I twisted my right knee, pulled the thigh muscle, and hip joint. Back to the doctors! Because I could barely walk, this time, I was put out on temporary disability. More physical therapy. And cortisone shots in my knee and hip.

I returned to work in May, and was pretty much okay, except for the fact that my employer, as with many health care institutions, don’t want to properly and safely assign nurse to patient staffing. And that goes for ancillary staff, like me, who as a Patient Care Assistant (formerly known as a nurse’s aide) was assigned one night in September to 21 patients. It is physically impossible for one PCA to properly care for that many patients and with my arthritis, it was a night from hell.

My plans were to retire in 2018 when I reached my full retirement age of 66, but on the night of October 26, I made the snap decision to simply end it. My husband, who had retired 3 years before, and I had discussed the deteriorating conditions of my job and we agreed that if I couldn’t handle it anymore, I would simply hand in my resignation. Which is what I did at the end of my work shift, 7am, October 27. I went to Human Resources and told the receptionist (who had just walked into her shift) that I wanted to file for retirement. So she gets the papers, and I said, “I want to retire now.” She said “NOW?” And I said, “Yes, this minute.” And that was that! I got a box and then went to my locker and packed up my stuff and left.

Hold on – nothing is quite as easy as it looks or sounds! I have spent the last two months in paperwork HELL! Papers to be filed about my pension, my group life insurance, my health insurance, my husband’s health insurance (he already has Medicare, but his main health insurance and dental was under my plan from work). Dental – I had to secure that for us too. Fortunatly, our coverage was through my labor union, whose post employment COBRA rates are actually lower than what the main HMOs offer.

Phone calls, physical appointments to Independent Health and Blue Cross/Blue Shield. Because I’m not 65 and not eligible for Medicare, I had to get full coverage for myself. I got a good plan with a good rate through BC/BS. And supplemental insurance for my husband through Independent Health.

I thought I was doing good. I got stuff accomplished! Then I got two letters. The first one from BC/BS – I hadn’t listed a primary doctor. UH, yes I did, I saw the representative enter his name in her computer. Well, so, I had to fill that form out. I opened the next letter from Ind. Health. “It appears that John (my hubby) has not had prescription coverage since January 2013.” Do people in these offices ever LISTEN to their customers? The very reason we were in the office to secure prescription coverage for him was BECAUSE I JUST RETIRED AND HE LOST THE COVERAGE HE HAD THRU MY FAMILY PLAN AT WORK! So I filled that form out, put stamps on the envelopes and mailed them out.

In the meantime, I’m waiting for my first pension check and it comes on December 3. Because the first payment is always a little late says the lady on the phone. WHY? If you had all the paperwork in place since the beginning of the second week of November (I called to check) you could have gotten it to me two days prior. Then I noticed, no taxes were withheld. So I call them up. And she asks for my PIN number. Uh, I don’t have one. We mailed it to you. Uh, I don’t have it. So I ask her, well, I got you on the phone, can we just do the business? No, you must have the PIN. So I wait for the PIN and call back. She will send me the forms. To change a 3 to a 2. As of this writing, January 3, I still don’t have the forms. And my pension check that was direct deposited on Friday, January 1, did not have taxes taken out.

Then there’s Social Security. I called their 800 number at 7am the morning of October 28. He said that I could file over the phone, but I need an “phone appointment.” The next available one was December 18. I’m like, are you fucking serious? So I said, okay. At 8:45 I left my house and went to our local SS office. Took a number and sat down. Waited only about 20 minutes. The guy on the other side of the bullet proof plastic divider looks at his computer and said, “You have a phone appointment on December 18.” I said “Yeah, I know, but that’s too long.” And he tells me that they can’t see me without an appointment and they are all bogged down. He told me to keep the phone appointment. Which went very well. I spoke to someone for all of 10 minutes, and four days later, got my first Social Security check.

I want to know what the hell happened in the past 3 years since my husband retired back in 2012!  He was still working and went downtown to only get some information, and my phone rang. “Babe, the lady here says I should retire. Do you mind?” I said, “Why should I mind? Go for it.” – as with my decision to retire, we had discussed his plans some years before. We are both supportive of each other’s decisions. So he retired that day in May 2012, and one week later got his first check.

Now that my payments are coming in, and even figuring in the taxes needed to be deducted from my pension check, I’m actually bringing home more money than I was when I was working and drawing a paycheck. I’m still not rich, but comfortable, always was somewhat comfortable and now more so.

So that’s what’s been happening in my life the past year and a half. I’ve been keeping an eye on Miss TroubleMaker though. My sister Gert McQueen has been busy keeping up the blog writing and wrote the following post to answer Joan Mary Wheeler’s  “Crappy Christmas” blog post. Joan Wheeler must have had a lousy Christmas for she sure needs attention.

to which I left this comment:

 “Joan Mary Wheeler is wondering where I am – I have not been blogging for a long time. from summer of 2014 – I’ve had some medical issues (pulled shoulder, then a twisted knee) – many sessions with physical therapy. Work-related stress, then my quick retirement which resulted in more stress and tons of paperwork, phone calls, and appointments.

 Joan is missing me, so she writes a new blog post, baiting me.

 Like I said several times, why does Joan keep whining to her buddies that her birth sisters keep bothering her? I haven’t done a damn thing for a year and a half! Isn’t that what she wants? My silence?

 No, she WANTS to keep up the interaction between us. Why else would she write her latest garbage lies about me and my family?

 Just like when she called my job with lies about me in 2012 to get me fired and then whines to the judge in the courtroom when I filed harassment charges on her – “I’m afraid of Ruth.” — well, if she’s so afraid of me, WHY DOES SHE KEEP DOING THINGS TO PISS ME OFF?

 okay, Joni, little girl, you wanted me back in your life after me not being in it for a year and a half — YOU GOT IT.”

So yes, I’ll be back to blogging. I’m retired now. I got lots of time. Of course, I’ll be busy doing other things too. Like getting back into shape. And getting back to my dancing.

And now that I have retired, I have taken away Joan’s toy. Her favorite source of amusement was to call my job with lies to try to get me fired. Oh, dear, Joni, whatever will you do now? You can’t do a damn thing. And really, you never could. All those phone calls and letters to my employer in 1994 and 1995 and recently in 2012 did nothing! ASSHOLE.


1. PaulaJanuary 3, 2016

Congratulations on your retirement! (And thanks for making me laugh with your last word above.) I’m sure your body is already thanking you. I can’t wait to read your upcoming posts. 🙂

RuthJanuary 4, 2016

thanks Paula. oh yes – I’m already feeling a lot better. And once I get into a full exercise routine and get my stamina up again and lose some weight, I’ll be taking dance lessons again. I’ll need a refresher course, as I haven’t danced in 19 years. And there’s a lot that I never learned. I’ve already found a local dance studio that specializes in Middle Eastern dance and some of the students are Sage Women like myself.
I already have an idea on the direction I want to take my dance. Let’s face it, at 63, I’m not going to be like those sexy young ones, (even if I can do 95% of what they can do). Rather, I’m going to explore the more spiritual side of the dance, and design my costumes to reflect that. And I always did favor the folkloric dances anyway. – as in the picture of me in that purple caftan and balancing a cane on my head.
I’ll also be working on my garden. Last year I started an herb garden on the one side of my porch. This year, I’m ripping out the entire lawn, putting down fresh topsoil and a walkway of decorative stones – and I’ll have no front lawn — instead, I’ll have a whole garden there.
My husband and I will also be landscaping the backyard and putting in veggie gardens. We’ve already decided that while that will take us a couple of years, we can get started this spring by clearing a small part and begin with planting some corn.
And in the spring, I’ll be getting some new furbabies. My kitty of 17 years, Pippin, went to kitty heaven 2 years ago. I was too heartbroken to get any new pets and lately, my house has been too empty and lonely. So I’m ready for new kitties.
And I’ve been busy doing reading and researching the past few years – writing some Star Trek fan fiction. And I’ll also have more time for my other interest – ghost hunting.

PaulaJanuary 4, 2016

Wow! I love that you already have a plan and are busy doing the things you love the most. I especially love that you and your husband are doing some of it together. I really can’t wait to read about your garden, dance lessons, and the new additions to your family!!

RuthJanuary 4, 2016

lol. I’ve been planning these things for a long time anyway. There’s so much in life to do and explore, I simply could never understand people who say they’d be bored if they hit the lottery or when they retire. – oh, did I mention the housework? omg I’ve got a ton of housework to do. Cleaning out and degreasing the kitchen cabinets for one thing. The exterior window frames have to be painted, my sewing/craft room is a mess! Things just got thrown in there several years ago when we had to empty out the attic storage room when our new roof was put on. And our front room needs remodeling.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I think of what needs to be done. But I love my house and being a homeowner. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Oh yes! We have friends who recently moved to Wisconsin. They gave us a 50 gallon aquarium. I used to have a 20 gallon years ago, and when I got rid of it, I kept some things. But I’ll have to buy all new equipment. I went to Pet Smart and priced it already. Shit! That stuff’s expensive! But it will be worth it in the long run.

2. gertmcqueenJanuary 3, 2016

Ruth…well it’s about time! I’ve been holding the fort and reblogging my posts for, my gosh that LONG!, doesn’t matter…working and then retiring are not easy things….something that Joan doesn’t understand, seeing that she doesn’t work and will NEVER RETIRE…oh well…glad that you are back…we have lots of work to dork

Joan Mary Wheeler has a written an article for “Dissident Voice” titled “End Identity Theft Caused by Adoption.” August 23, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Joan Mary Wheeler has a written an article for “Dissident Voice” titled “End Identity Theft Caused by Adoption.”

It is a topic that Joan and other adult adoptees are very passionate about. And it is a topic that most people don’t think about because they haven’t experienced it or don’t know anyone who has.

Joan correctly points out that when people (usually adoptees) don’t have their original birth certificate (OBC), all sorts of problems arise. And many of those problems surfaced after the Homeland Security Act.

My own husband experienced these problems. He was born to an unwed teenage girl in 1943. He was not adopted, but due to shoddy paperwork by his family he was registered in Catholic grammer school under his step-father’s last name when his mother married the step-father. That step-father never adopted my husband – everyone just gave my husband that last name and that was that.

During the Vietnam War, when my husband was of age, he enlisted under that ‘assumed’ name. He was issued a social security number under that name and all his military papers, and subsequent documents throughout his adult life (driver’s license, employment), were all under that name.

After his mother died, he finally got his OBC, found in her papers. And his birthdate was off by a week. His retirement was coming up – we needed to fix the problem. He also couldn’t renew his driver’s license because after Homeland Security kicked in – he was not eligible for a license or a non-driver’s id card.

Even though all his documents, social security number, and military papers were under the name of Pace, his legal last name was his mother’s maiden name. We had to go in front of a judge with all this paperwork and have his name legally changed to Pace. The different birthdate wasn’t too much of an issue – we just had to change it on everything – we had to notify the IRS, the DMV, doctors, dentist – we just handled that when the times came when we would be doing business with those entities.

But it cost us almost $300.00! And it was not an uncommon thing we had to go through! The clerk in the surrogate judge’s office told me they see this kind of thing all the time! And nobody pays attention to it until they approach retirement age and find there’s a problem with their paperwork.

So getting back to Joan’s article – actually the rest of the article doesn’t concern me. Her writing style is very good. I have no problem with this kind of stuff that she champions – in fact, I applaud it. I just want to point out that we can see – she CAN leave us birthsisters OUT of her writing – WHEN SHE CHOOSES TO.

She can now point out that by my finding, reading, and commenting on this, that I have internet-stalked her. I choose to call it MONITORING what she writes about – because I have the right to see if she is writing anything about ME and MY FAMILY. And if she writes something about ME that is a lie, a misrepresentation, or a mockery of anything about ME OR MY LIFE, OR MY FAMILY – I most certainly will speak up.

AND because she mentions her kindle book “Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption,” which includes many blatant lies and misrepresentations and mockeries of me, and members of my family, I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO COMMENT ABOUT THIS ARTICLE that she has written.

Gert here with an UPDATE, FEBRUARY 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…




1. gertmcqueenAugust 23, 2015

Very good Ruth!
We do NOT do any kind of searching for Joan on the Internet, she puts herself out there! I saw at least 3 public shares of this article at 6 am this morning! We do monitor what she says because we ARE THE SUBJECTS in her books! She has published OUR family names, OUR parents names! Within the books she publishes REAL names of living and dead RELATIVES of our FAMILY. So, any time Joan M Wheeler references her books she is REFERENCING us.

I have comments on the reviews of her book on Amazon…that is a legit thing to do. We write our blogs, we have facebook and twitter and more accounts, just like the rest of the world. And, we will continue to say what we must!

RuthAugust 23, 2015

exactly Gert – the internet is for EVERYONE to use. And Joan is NOT the owner of the internet. If it is a PUBLIC post on a PUBLIC page, than I have the right to comment on it. If it is a private page, say a person’s website or blog, and the owner allows comments – it is NOT up to Joan to dictate if I or Gert can comment on it.

Joan Mary Wheeler does not understand monsters, despite being one herself. August 22, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
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Joan Mary Wheeler does not understand monsters, despite being one herself. 

Stupid ass Joan Mary Wheeler slams me for being a monster movie buff, saying derogatorily that I was “raised on horror movies.” stupid wench.

What happened was – in the mid-to-late 50’s, many old horror movies from the 1930’s – 40’s (Frankenstein, Dracula, Werewolf, Mummy, King Kong) became available to be shown on television. I don’t recall which station, but a Buffalo station would show them on Saturday afternoons. After the morning cartoons. Watching these movies in your living room with commercial breaks – these monsters did not scare us – and then the Madison Ave. commercialism set in – toys, cereal (Count Chocula), shampoo, all kinds of merchandise – and comic books, monster magazines appeared – then a few years later – The Addams Family and The Munsters appeared on television.

So was Ruth the only child in America watching this stuff? oh hell no – almost every dam kid in America was. 

Joan was an only child – and I suspect her adoptive parents did not let her watch these things. So she doesn’t understand. I remember her slamming the Garbage Pail Kids when they came out. – I am thinking – it was HER childhood that was warped, not mine – most kids aged 8-12 absolutely LOVE gross stuff – slime, snots, creepy crawlers.

And we see again – another example of how Joan Mary Wheeler is fucking JEALOUS of me and the fun childhood that I had – and she did not have so much fun. She says so right in her stupid book – she was lonely. Aw, too bad, I’m sorry that widdle Joanie had such a bad childhood – doesn’t give her the right to slam MY childhood. Bitch.

monster mash book

Just got this book in the mail today – Monster Mash by Mark Voger – about The Creepy, Kooky Monster Craze in America – 1957-1972


Dingbat Dana Seilhan is now outed as a lying hypocritical STALKER July 10, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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update: December 10, 2017 – my blog stats on December 9, 2017 showed that the 3 posts about Dana (this one and two others) were looked at. — I double checked Dana’s aboutme page and sometime between August 2015 and December 2017 — she removed all references to me and Gert. — Good girl Dana – now stop stalking us. If you can’t be unboring without referencing us, well that’s life. Here is the text that appears on her aboutme page:

My homepage is at http://www.danaseilhan.com and serves pretty much the same purpose as this page. What can I say… The Internet can be redundant sometimes.

I look at other people’s profiles here and they are very colorful and descriptive. Sorry I’m boring, but I’m not very good at self-introductions.

Dingbat Dana Seilhan is now outed as a lying hypocritical STALKER

UPDATE – AUGUST 22, 2015 –

Dana Sielhan got caught and took down her http://www.danaseilhan.com page – WHY?

Dana, you are one stupid bimbo – first you get caught stalking us, leading us to your page that says you do things that you don’t know why you do things. Then you take down that page. lol. – Dana dear, you showed everyone, that you not only do things that you don’t know why you do things, but you showed us all that you are a fucking coward as well. Because that is all that backtracking says  about a person – that you are willing to open your big mouth (or type shit on the internet) but you haven’t got the backbone to stand by what you say. asshole.

now back to my original post:

Well the past 24 hours events have been very interesting. On Dana’s aboutme page she truthfully says she blocked me and Gert on facebook. Because after our spat some time ago she HAD blocked me. Well, because Dana had stalked Gert’s aboutme page, I decided to look up Dana’s facebook page and she had UNBLOCKED ME.

She accuses me and Gert of stalking her – well Gert had an email notification that a “Dana Seilhan” had viewed her aboutme page. Gert goes to her aboutme page and sees Dana’s wakco face as one of those who has viewed her aboutme page. Gert then posted that on my facebook and that’s when I made my own aboutme page. I had not had one before.  – https://about.me/paceruth
AND I did some checking on Dana.

On her page called Dana’s Domain (copyright 2015)- http://www.danaseilhan.com/ – she says: ”…like my about.me page does, and I have no idea why I bothered setting one up. I must have been bored or something.” – Dana, do you always do things that you don’t know why?

Her Dana’s Domain was made THIS YEAR and I’m betting so was her aboutme page. But we have not had ANY contact with Dana for over a year. So WHY is Dana all of a sudden accusing me and Gert of stalking her, but there is clear evidence that Dana herself is now STALKING us?

What ever games you are playing little Dana – you just showed us and everyone else what a sicko you are. go grow up.

So Dana – if you don’t want anything to do with me – and you say you have blocked me on facebook – explain this screenshot taken at 3:40 pm on July 10, 2015.

dana's fb

Dana – you’re a liar.

dishonest people – that’s YOU Dana.

 You know, it’s the internet – and a lot of what you put out there is public. People are looking at your stuff. They’re googling you. I’m sure a lot of people have googled my name and looked at my stuff. It’s the nature of the beast. But when someone specifically makes an aboutme page SOLELY for the purpose of accusing two women of stalking her, then evidence is found that that person is stalking those two women in turn – well – I think you know where I’m going with this. Yep – Dingbat Dana has indeed been outed as a hypocritical liar.

gertmcqueenJuly 10, 2015

Gert here… yep I come home from a wonderful evening of dinner and comedy-magician with my ‘part-time’ husband of 18 years (eat your hearts out, I have my cake and I can eat it too) I have both of two worlds, it works for us, I have my own apartment and his country home, on the weekends.

Anyway, I come home to find Dana’s face on my about.me page! what the fuck! and she’s accusing me of stalking her! get a life broad! Joan Wheeler and Dana ought to ‘hook-up’ they are so joined at the hips!

And get this straight…I and Ruth shall DEFEND ourselves and family, against any and all lies that Joan M Wheeler says, in the past, present and in the future. Doesn’t matter where or when I shall find her words and I SHALL EXPOSE THEM…DEAL WITH IT.

RuthJuly 10, 2015

wonder if she ever lost that weight she was wining about some time ago. lol She has no self esteem, and appears to have many psychological problems. Apparently, she and Joan have the same issues – they must crave attention – because as much as they complain about us – they do things to GET our attention. And contradict themselves and trip themselves up in the process.

RuthJuly 10, 2015

wasn’t she also whining about not being “self-sufficient?” lack of job? – I don’t understand it. There ARE jobs out there – WHY can’t a person find one? Kids at home? so what? There have been millions of women – single moms included – who take overnight jobs in hospitals as nurse’s aides, environmental service aides, patient transport aides. Come home, get the kids off to school, go to bed and sleep, get up, make dinner, snooze during the evening.
I used to wonder about my friend Debbie’s mom – why she was always napping in the evenings when I’d be at Debbie’s house. She had set up a TV room off the kitchen with a couch and chairs. She would snooze on the couch while the 3 kids would watch TV – or be at the kitchen table doing homework. Their father worked until 9pm and then she would go to Millard Fillmore Gates to her 11pm job as a nurses aide.
I guess slinging bedpans is too gross for some people. I’ve done it for 43 years – and you know what? Dr. Christian Barnard, who performed the world’s first heart transplant, worked his way thru medical school AS a male nurse’s aide – and said in his autobiography that he was proud to do so – because it showed him a side of his patients that helped him become a better doctor.
Many nurses work their way thru nursing school while being nurse’s aides. – And there are other careers to choose from if a hospital setting is not for you – I simply can NOT buy that tired old excuse WHY you can’t find a job – just get the fuck off your lazy ass and get one. – If you are tied down with little kids, fine, that’s understandable. But they are not little forever.

RuthJuly 11, 2015

Dana really needs to start with some motivational programs. Dana, go to your local library and check out the DVD audio books of Dr. Wayne Dyer, Anthony Robbins. Also go online and subscribe to them and Gregg Braden via facebook. You don’t have to agree 100% with them – but they have some really good stuff.
Another one – but it’s old, so you might have to do some digging to find it – is John Bradshaw and The Family – this an excellent program on PBS some 25 years ago – google it.
If you have problems then stop fucking whining about them and get to work and fix them. It’s an ongoing process – but you are coming off as a sick twisted puppy with your self-flagellations and spying on us and then turning around and accusing us of exactly what YOU are doing.

Dingbat Dana Seilhan, delusional buddy of Joan Mary Wheeler – shut the fuck up July 10, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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 Gert found this from Dana Seilhan, delusional buddy of Joan Mary Wheeler on HER aboutme page – some bimbo accusing Gert and me of stalking her – well how did it end up on Gert’s page? Seems as though Dana’s been STALKING Gert! hypocrite. When someone views your page – you are notified. Dana, when you viewed Gert’s page, she found out about it – and WHY are you STALKING/VIEWING Gert’s page?

 LOL – oh my god! so yeah, if you’re going to accuse me of something – I’m gonna go do it. don’t want to make you out to be a liar, ya’ know! So I STALKED on over to Dana’s LinkedIn page – where you place your professional resume – and this nutcase says she’s a Martian anthropologist! Now I like science fiction and fantasy in general and Star Trek in particular, but I can distinguish fantasy from reality!
marvin finger

Dana, Marvin the Martian says FUCK YOU

And Dana has the nerve to say that Gert and I are insane? I am astonished at the stupidity of people. And yes, Dana, I too, am opinionated. Don’t like it? TOUGH. My opinion of you is that you are in dire need of professional counseling.


 This delusional person says this:

 I seem to be being stalked by adoption activist Joan Wheeler’s insane sisters for some reason. I am not interested in any BS you are trying to sell. You took what you perceived as one bad experience and you are using it to abuse other adoptees that you have never even met. It’s not difficult to figure out who’s in the wrong here, and you keep compounding it too. Why don’t you get the hell off the Internet and go take a very long walk off a very short pier. Thanks in advance.

 Ruth here – first she is supposed to be a writer – well what the hell “I seem to be being stalked.” it should read, “It appears that I am being stalked.” Dana, if you’re going to be a writer, learn some grammar.

Now I had ONE bad experience with Dana over a year ago via facebook. She is a delusional BITCH. She is one of Joan Mary Wheeler’s friends. And most of those “friends” are sick in the head. They take Joan’s side of the story as the golden truth without considering there is a possiblility that Joan could be lying.

My experience with Dana started I believe in conversation on Huffington Post, in which, if memory serves, Dana and I were conversing intelligently – until Dana found out that I was one of Joan’s birth sisters – and then Dana turned into a bitch and called me names. (oh how adult). I call her names here, because yeah, she is a bitch – convicted and condemned me solely on the basis that I am Joan’s birthsister. Fuck her – she is an asshole. Now, I’m not 100% sure that this was how it went down – because it happened way over a year ago – perhaps two, three years ago. This is how much Dana is on my mind for me to be stalking her, that I don’t remember exactly what went down between us. No Dana, you are simply not that important to me – I forgot all about you a long time ago.

I did send her this email tonight: 

Dana, yes, we had a tiff over a year ago – I haven’t thought of you since then. And my, how adult how you are to say to someone to take a long walk off a short pier. Nobody is stalking you.

You take the word of Joan as golden without even considering there are two sides – when on my blog I have posted actual police and court documents that prove that Joan lies about me.

Recently she was caught blasting Joyce Bahr on her facebook, and others asked her to show proof of what she said about Joyce. She would not.

Where is the proof of what she has said about me? Why don’t you try to be fair?

That was the only intent I had in contacting you – then and now – for YOU to be FAIR – but, since you cannot – that shows me the kind of person you truly are. – shove it lady.

As to me abusing adoptees? oh my! When I first started this blog in November 2009, Joan Wheeler had a fit! She joined an adoptee forum called Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change and in February 2010, under Joan’s request – a bunch of those so called “adult” adoptees came over here and left obscene comments. Yeah – Mara Rigge for one – who never met me in person or internet, called me a bitch – there was someone named Myst – and several others that I don’t remember their names. So when it comes to Joan’s Birthsisters vs The Adoptees – The Adoptees fucked with me first – this blog which has a daily average of 20 hits, in one day in February 2010 had about 178 hits – and in two days about 30 obscene comments. Why? Because Joan told them to do it and I’m betting Joan told Dana to write this shit about us now.

my stats   here you go – the stats for February 26, 2010 – 53 adoptees came running and were all over my blog.

oh – here’s another one of Dingbat Dana’s pages:


roflmao! She says she set up her aboutme page because she was bored. So when you’re bored Dana, you set up pages to attack people you don’t know? lol. You’re full of shit and you know it – you set that page up solely for the purpose of trashing me and Gert and then you went to Gert’s aboutme page to get our attention. Poor little Dana, needs attention. oh, poor thing. Well bitch – you wanted our attention – and now you got it. You have only yourself to blame. There was NO contact, no nothing between you and us for over a year – until YOU started.

 The rest of Dana’s biography is so, so, – I don’t know – she’s out in left field! WAY BEYOND LEFT FIELD.

Well, I went and started my own about me page at https://about.me/paceruth 

My bio is this: 

Because you don’t know me at all. 

I’m a long time health care worker, (43 years) former professional belly dancer, a rabid Trekkie, and a paranormal investigator. I am a movie buff, and love movies and reading about science fiction, fantasy. My interests are wide and varied, and I am passionate about them. 

my about me page is about ME – I don’t put a whole paragraph falsely accusing and trashing people – because my about me page is about ME, not them.

 Gert here…
I had perhaps one or two replies TO HER after she ATTACKED me on a Huffington thread. YEARS AGO. before that it was her and others, the gang of thugs, friends of Joan Wheeler, attacked me and Ruth BECAUSE we are defending ourselves. WE HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SAY WHAT WE WANT ABOUT OURSELVES AND OUR FAMILY.
NOW I’ll just have to ADD Dana on my ‘info’ so that the WORLD can know all about HER as well as Joan

 RuthJuly 10, 2015

and since Joan Mary Wheeler wants to be part of our family – then she can just ACCEPT that Gert and I have the RIGHT to discuss our family.

and other people – like Dingbat Dana – are NOT a member of our family – have no right to stick their nose in a family situation.

5. gertmcqueenJuly 10, 2015

Gert here…

my updated about.me page …

Am birthsibling, of real #ForbiddenFamily, that Joan M Wheeler was adopted out of. I have and will share truth of the deeds and lies told/written by angry adoptee, Joan Wheeler, against my family; that is MY RIGHT!

Seems that Dana Seilhan doesn’t like me defending myself against those lies that MY FAMILY MEMBER writes about me and MY family. Dana claims I’ve been stalking her! Outside of a couple of comments on an internet discussion thread, years ago, where I was attack by Dana Seilhan, I have no contact with her and no desire to know her. She doesn’t mean a thing to me!

I’m an adoptive mother.

Besides that…there’s far more to me, overtime I shall incorporate that here.

Hey Joan Mary Wheeler – are you going to slam this horror game from 1964 for kids? or the new book coming out called Monster Mash? July 8, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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in this post: a monster themed Old Maid card game from 1964. “Monster Mash” a new book detailing the monster fad for kids in the United States in the years 1957-1972.

gosh, a monster card game from 1964 – quick now Joan Mary Wheeler – you’d better slam Milton Bradley for making such a horrible game for kids aged 5-10 – a game based on horror movies.

No? You’re not going to slam Milton Bradley? Why not? Oh, I see, because Milton Bradley is NOT your birth sister Ruth – see, Milton Bradley can have stuff about horror movies and monsters, Hollywood can have tv shows like The Munsters and The Addams Family – but Ruth can not – absolutely can NOT have anything to do with monsters or horror movies. Why? Because bitch Joan Mary Wheeler has decreed it.

In 1964, I was 12 years old and in the monster craze – like a lot of other kids around the country – but Joan thinks there was something wrong with me for liking such things and has slammed me and my stepmother for liking monster and horror movies. Stop passing judgment on MY life and childhood Joan – pay attention to your own rotten life.

monster old maid

I think I know what the problem is – when Joan was the lonely only child in her adopted home, she must not have had any fun – and after we were reunited (ugh, what a mistake that was) – she was told how much fun I had with my monsters and horror movies. So she simply HAS to slam my liking horror movies any chance she gets – like she did recently on her facebook – saying that I was “raised” on horror movies.

NO Joan, you fucking idiot – like a ton of other kids, I thought monsters were cool! But because YOU were raised in physically and mentally abusive house that comes right out of a horror movie you won’t admit that you were deeply affected by it and must take your shit out on the most convenient people you can – your birthsisters – and in particular me – because I, at the age of almost 63 (next month) am still having monster fun.  Face it Joan – you’re JEALOUS of the fact that despite me being raised without a mom – I succeeded in having fun as a child, while you did not. Aw, too bad. Am I crying over you? hell no!


Well looky-here! Look what popped up on my facebook newsfeed someone shared an article about this upcoming book on Amazon. READ IT AND LEARN JOAN MARY WHEELER – I wasn’t “raised” on horror movies – it was a NATIONAL FAD! (ever hear of The Munsters on TV? or the song Monster Mash?)

So now Joan Mary Wheeler – shut your fucking mouth about MY childhood, that you were NOT A PART OF.

Monster Mash: The Creepy, Kooky Monster Craze In America 1957-1972 Hardcover – July 23, 2015 by Mark Voger (Author), Basil Gogos (Illustrator), Jim Warren (Illustrator)

Time-trip back to the frightening era of 1957-1972, when monsters stomped into the American mainstream! Once Frankenstein and fiends infiltrated TV in 1957, an avalanche of monster magazines, toys, games, trading cards, and comic books crashed upon an unsuspecting public. This profusely illustrated, full-color hardcover covers that creepy, kooky Monster Craze through features on Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine, the #1 hit “Monster Mash,” Aurora’s model kits, TV shows (Shock Theatre, The Addams Family, The Munsters, and Dark Shadows), Mars Attacks trading cards, Eerie Publications, Planet of the Apes, and more! It features interviews with James Warren (Creepy, Eerie, and Vampirella magazines), Forrest J Ackerman (Famous Monsters of Filmland), John Astin (The Addams Family), Al Lewis (The Munsters), Jonathan Frid (Dark Shadows), George Barris (monster car customizer), Ed “Big Daddy” Roth (Rat Fink), Bobby (Boris) Pickett (“Monster Mash” singer/songwriter) and others, with a Foreword by TV horror host Zacherley, the “Cool Ghoul.”

monster mash

gorgon 1

Joan the gorgon – she will turn you to stone with her ugly heart.

Joan Mary Wheeler – I bought some more movies! June 29, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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I had a $50.00 rewards certificate from amazon dot com a couple of months ago – and I got the following DVDs, which finally arrived today (June 29, 2015)  I am such a smart shopper – my out of pocket expenses — a whopping $6.00 and change.

 Krull – a fantasy movie

 Willow – fantasy

 Sphinx – mystery/romance set in modern-day Egypt

 The Man Who Would be King – a fantasy film based on a story by Rudyard Kipling

 Shirley Temple in Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm

 Ian McKellan in Gods and Monsters – a bio-pic of film maker James Whale (Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein) –

oh wow – not a horror film in the bunch!

 If Joan Mary Wheeler wants to make it her business as to what films I watch or DVDs I buy or how I spend my own money (for which I have a long-time CAREER to obtain) – she should get her facts straight. But then, she never does.



Joan Mary Wheeler is the real horror movie – and one that I would NOT want to see. June 26, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Joan Mary Wheeler likes to run her gossip-filled mouth about me and reports that I was raised on horror movies. Contrary to her warped conception of MY childhood (that she wasn’t even around (YAY) to see first hand) – I was NOT raised solely on horror movies. I saw this one, and stuff like Fantasia, Snow White, Cinderella, Dumbo, Bambi, Ol’ Yeller – and a ton of other stuff – at the theatres. So shut up Joan about MY childhood.

And my goodness – I was only 7 years old when Ben Hur came out and went to see that at the theatre. And where would I have gotten the name Top Cat for a kitty we had – if all I did was watch horror movies?

And how could I have been watcing tv stuff like Mickey Mouse Club, Howdy Doody, Captain Kangeroo, Romper Room, Superman, Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny, Yogi Bear – when all I did was watch horror movies? – Joan Mary Wheeler is an asshole – plain and simple and has no brains what-so-ever!



Joan Wheeler proves that she simply can NOT stop lying about her sisters and tries to manipulate another person to make trouble for me. June 14, 2015

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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 okay, this fucking nutball Joan Wheeler needs to have her mouth sewed shut! – on her facebook page, Saturday, June 13, 2015, somebody asked Joan Wheeler a question about the situation of that Rachel Dolezal, the white lady who is passing herself off as a black lady. It seem she had three adoptive siblings of a different race. The question asked by Heather C. was “After discovering this controversy, I read the article, finding that there is an adoption link. This woman had a Haitian and African American siblings who were adopted. She is 100% white. What lessons did she learn from her parents who adopted her siblings. If they were “white” and she was “black” and the adoption insanity and identity problems are a big mess. Joan Mary Wheeler What do you think of this? Especially with regards to your kept sisters and their issues? Inquiring minds want to know.”

see end of post for update info

Heather referred to “kept sisters” as the fact that I, and my other two sisters were “kept” by our father. I have absolutely NO problem with that question – but I have serious problems with the way Joan answers and drags me and my sisters through the mud AGAIN and then enlists a former co-worker of mine, who turned out to be a bitch, despite me being very nice to her – but more on that later on – first give a look-see on how Joan talks trash about me again – AND she lumps all three of us sisters into one AGAIN. – When she referenced our stepmother, who liked horror movies. – First – the time frame was when I was 8 years old, and I lived with my father and his second wife, for a period OF ONE YEAR. Meanwhile, my sisters were NOT RAISED by this stepmother – they were in a foster home and neither one of them are particular fans of horror movies.

The issue of horror movies comes up because in her now dead (because it was proven to be libelous) book, Joan trashes me and mocks my miscarriage by saying that I would not have been a good mother because I spent my money collecting horror movies. So let’s read Joan’s latest lies about me and my sisters. I will take her shit, parapragh by paragraph and REFUTE HER CRAP ABOUT ME AND MY SISTERS. By the way, yes, I still collect horror movies. SO FUCKING WHAT? I have worked at my job for going on 44 years. I’ve been working since I was 18. I own my home and van. WHAT I SPEND MY MONEY ON IS NONE OF JOAN WHEELER’S OR ANYBODY ELSE’S BUSINESS. I don’t steal to buy a DVD of a horror movie or any other movie. I work for it. So, here’s the thing – Joan has always been JEALOUS and PISSED OFF because SHE was adopted and WE were not. – And just because I had fun with my stepmother and Joan did not have fun with her adoptive mother, Joan writes all this crap about me. And by the way, because Miss SmartyPants Joan thinks she knows all about me – and thinks that all I watch is horror movies – just last month, I bought an 18 movie set of SHIRLEY TEMPLE movies.  So Joan – shut up.  Readers – see blog post:  Oh NO! Gert and I are collecting movies on DVD! Quick now, throw us in jail, Joan Wheeler! November 6, 2013

 Joan Mary Wheeler “Wow, thank you for letting me know the rest of this story.

About my sisters who were kept by our father after he relinquished me… I think they identified with their step Mom who raised them watching horror movies. My sisters felt from the very beginning of our reunion in 1974 that I had the better life. They see me as “other” and not one of them. I am one of them as we have the same parents, but our behavior is totally different. I do believe my sisters have been warped by their experiences of knowing their sister disappeared shortly after she was born and they spent their childhood trying to find her (me). That made them crazy. “

Crazy? well really – Joan is the one who has gone on record saying she is mentally ill and has been going to therapists for 30 years. – And no, we did not spend our childhood trying to find her. We were fucking kids ya know. Yeah, we remembered we had sister out there but knew nothing else. And Joan does say soomething truthful in that paragraph – ” our behavior is totally different. ” – yes, that’s right – Me, Gert and Kathy have had stable relationships with our fellas, held down good jobs, never broke the law, don’t do drugs, drink only socially, don’t lie or steal from family members, don’t call other people’s jobs with lies in order to get them fired, don’t file false police reports on people, don’t send letters to family members saying their husbands got the next door neighbor pregnant, don’t send letters to family member’s mother-in-law in order to break up a marriage. – yep – this is what Joan has done to me and my sisters. Joan on the other hand, worked only a few temporary part time jobs, relying on handouts from her adoptive mother and money stolen from me, and welfare fraud in 1985.

– okay let’s see what other shit Joan has to say:

 “Meanwhile, as for me, I was raised an only child and have no reference point of siblings, so they reminded me constantly after our reunion that I am THE BABY of the family, and as such, I know nothing. “

What’s that got to do with anything?

“They forgot that I am not only their baby sister (a role I found out about when I was 18) but I IDENTIFY AS AN ONLY CHILD because that is how I was raised.

For me, I don’t see this as a problem: I am an independent thinker and do not need to run my decisions by the approval of my other siblings. They think that, because they were raised with a pecking order, that I must conform to their wishes of trying to mold me to fit what they want me to do and be. “

No, all we asked is that she stop stealing from us – when Joan and her deadbeat husband stole hundreds of $$$ from me in 1989 – I told her to get the fuck out of my life! And she has spent all this time since January 1990 in harassing me with revenge tactics just because I told her to get lost – FOR STEALING FROM ME. – see blog post:  repost: the story of Joan Wheeler’s theft of money from me February 27, 2010

“Now, yes, I fully acknowledge I am the youngest of five siblings, but I believe my autonomy is important to my own identity, with or without their approval.

Right Joan – but YOU can pass judgment on ME for liking horror movies! You know, Joan, I, Ruth Sippel Pace have the autonomy to like and collect whatever the fuck I want – and that includes horror movies. don’t like it Joan? – fuck off.

I also fully acknowledge that my mindset (psychology) is that of an introverted only child. Part of that is upbringing, part of that is nature. I have my father’s personality – introverted. My son does, too. My daughter is extroverted like her father. “

We don’t give a shit about her autonomy – EXCEPT WHEN SHE LIES ABOUT US.

“As for this Rachel Dolezal, I think she was influenced by having black adopted siblings. They were there and she took on their identity.

Something to think about — adopted parents ought to think carefully about mixing up races and cultures. If they don’t want one of their own biological kids to take after their adopted black kids’ culture and appearance, then they shouldn’t adopt children of a different race. Also, adoptive parents shouldn’t expect their black adoptee to act white to meet their expectations.

But it happens all the time that black adoptees might be forced to act more white to avoid as much racial problems as they can, and they, too, might identify as white because they are being raised in a white family.”

Joan then received this comment from Mary G. – ” I wondered about the influence her siblings had on her. Good explanation Joan.” — To which Joan, ever the fucking trouble maker baits my former co-worker Laura Heath with this, to drag Laura into the “roast Ruth fest.”

Joan Mary Wheeler Yes, Mary G., they think they own me! They do not! And, of course, Laura Heath can probably see what I mean in real life. Sigh.”

No, Joan, we KNOW we don’t own you – we just want you to shut your fucking trashy lies about us.

As to Laura – she and her husband Tom Heath got caught STALKING me – — I was facebook friends with Laura while we were working together in 2009. Early 2010, Laura transfered to another nursing unit. One day on facebook, I was venting about a hard night I had at work, saying simply, “glad that night is over.” – to which Laura replied “it wasn’t that hard.” — I felt like, “excuse me – my back and my feet hurt, I have every right to say something without my “so-called” freinds putting me down. Now, Laura in the past, had written a rotten thing on her facebook – can said she was ‘TIRED OF WORKING WITH LAZY ASS BITCHES.” – she was not referring to me – cos she was working on another floor, but I know who she was talking about – and those nurses are among the best nurses in that hospital. Anyway, I removed Laura from my facebook, because frankly, she and I were not really ‘friends’ and I have the right to remove anybody I want from my facebook. Laura’s response? She went and found Joan Wheeler – acting like a little 10 year old “oh You took me off your facebook. Well, I’ll go find your worst enemy and we can sit and gossip about you.”

Then in 2013, I found Laura’s husband Thomas D. Heath STALKING my facebook page! – I never met Laura’s husband. Who the f does this man think he is, that 3 years after his wife has a falling out with a former co-worker, that he is going to go stalk that person? – I outed Laura and Tom in the following blog posts:

Joan Wheeler has a couple of new puppets to spy on me – Thomas Heath and Laura Stickney-Heath – roflmao! July 17, 2013

I am outing Thomas D. Heath and Laura J. Stickney Heath as stalkers and troublemakers. August 5, 2013

karma is a bitch – lesson for Joan Wheeler’s latest puppets – Laura Stickney-Heath and Thomas D. Heath – October 7, 2013

The enemy of my enemy is my friend Joan Wheeler and Laura – snakes. April 4, 2014

So what can we deduce from all this? – That Joan may be a grown woman, but is still acting like a fucking 10 year old, with lies, thefts, innuendos, and trying to drag LAURA into a fight. I don’t give a shit about Laura – she is nothing to me. Never was, never will be. – But this just shows what Joan does best – manipulates people into doing her dirty work.

joan bait 01

joan bait 02

fuck-off-kitty grow up Joan.

.1. PaulaJune 14, 2015

Only a very unstable person would continuously stir the pot like she stirs the pot! And the person who asked the question in the first place? Why do people think she’s some authority on all things adoption? She clearly didn’t answer with any logic, clarity or insight. No facts. No deep thinking or connections. Just an opportunity to crap on you and your sisters, again, thanks to the person who asked her the question in the first place. Ask an unstable person a ridiculous question; expect an unstable and ridiculous answer. No one takes this woman seriously, Ruth. It’s almost as if the person asking the question just wanted to see how foolish JW would make herself look THIS time. And JW took the bait.

RuthJune 14, 2015

you are absolutely correct Paula. For some reason, Joan wants to destroy me – always has. And she says that me and my sisters are crazy? lol – I think we can all see WHO the crazy person really is.

gertmcqueenJune 14, 2015 [Edit]

apparently Joan M Wheeler NEEDS ATTENTION. What’s the matter Joan, are you lonely, got no one there to hear your rants?

Since when is Joan an authority on MY LIFE? She ain’t! She lives in her own diseased mind filled with her assumptions.

Joan…we siblings lived with our first step-mother, from June 1956 to about Sept 1957, when I and the rest of YOUR siblings went to orphan and foster homes. Gee Joan YOU MISSED OUT on all that happiness, because you were adopted out!

Joan you make up shit! You haven’t a clue of what is true.
You can’t handle the truth…that that first step-mother REFUSED to take you, the infant! It was because of HER that you were placed into adoption! All your ‘tales’ of how your father was forced into giving you up are false!

And you are NOT the center of our universe any longer…once we found you and dealt with YOUR behavior all we wanted was for you to be GONE…so go girl…BE GONE!

RuthJune 14, 2015


3. RuthJune 14, 2015

Joan’s motive in constantly putting me down for MY own life and financial decisions – JEALOUSY, PURE JEALOUSY! She looks at me, even though I have my own day-to-day struggles, and sees that I have direction and meaning in my life. HER own life has no meaning or direction.

4. RuthJune 15, 2015

and by the way Joanie, since you obviously are lacking for attention and wanted mine (cos now you got it) – not only do I like horror movies – I am now a professional paranormal investigator. – yep – I’m a ghost hunter. So now I suppose you will have something to say about that and pass judgment on me for that. – fuck off – and get your own life. If your current life as a bar-hopping groupie is boring, and you need to get some more excitement – well, then grow the fuck up.

UPDATE OCTOBER 2016; as older posts are being seen I, Gert, am updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!


this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.


Joan Wheeler – what is your solution for kids languishing in orphanages and NO family members are taking in? December 10, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
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Joan Wheeler hates the institution of adoption so badly that she wants to eradicate adoption from the entire planet of Earth! What an unrealistic idea. But then, Joan has always been unrealistic in her thoughts, deeds and goals. 

Joan’s “brilliant” solution for a replacement for the act of adopting an orphan is kinship guardianship. Well, that’s all well and good on the surface – but – what if there is a child who HAS no family left at all? Like a child who’s whole family is wiped out by war or an act of nature (earthquake, flood, etc.) – and there ARE many such babies and children who have experienced this. 

OR – as in the case of MY family – when MY mother died, and my father was left with four young children, aged 3 years to 9 years and one three month old infant – extended family members TRIED to help out.  

What does Joan propose for a family such as ours? FORCE an aunt or uncle to raise that infant? I believe that is what she wants – because she forced ME to provide Christmas 1989 for HER kids when I did not give birth to them, nor their legal parent or guardian – explanation: Joan stole money from me in the summer of 1989. In September 1989, she agreed to repay me, we were expecting refund checks from a lawyer for his fee (long story) – Joan agreed that when her check came, she would cash it and turn the entire amount over to me to go towards what she owed me. But, the little lying snake that she is, she called me early December 1989 and informed me (did not ask, but INFORMED me) that she was KEEPING all the money to provide Christmas presents for her kids. Never mind that her husband had a job, was working and SHE refused to get off HER ass and get a part time job to provide for her own kids. NO, she saw $$$ that her sister (me) had coming, but her sister (me) was in a two-income relationship, and her sister had a well-paying job, and therefore her sister’s money should be redistributed to JOAN AND HER FAMILY. So, yeah, money was stolen from me, and then never repaid, because JOAN made a decision on how to spend MY money, therefore I was FORCED to provide Christmas for her kids. 

Here’s a picture of an orphan child:

 adopted kid

What is Joan’s solution for this child?

She wants to eradicate adoption – she thinks that every child should be raised by other family members – um, there were none for this kid – so according to Joan Wheeler, he should stay in the hospital, being raised by nurses until he becomes an adult.  

Good solution there Joan Wheeler. – Totally illogical, stupid and inhumane.

illogical and stupid

1. gertmcqueenDecember 10, 2014

Gert here…good points…as we have said so many times, ADOPTION is here to stay as long as there are HUMANS IN NEED of it.
And Joan thinks NOTHING of interfering in other members of the family for her OWN purposes. Been There, Done That, and she will NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

She violated my parental rights BECAUSE she knew better than me how to raise my children. She called in 2 false child abuse reports on me saying I was UNFIT…SHE did NOT pass the HOME STUDY that I requested on her.

She didn’t do her OWN children any good either…besides MOVING BACK home to her adoptive mother’s home, with her children…where Joan STILL LIVES…she had that mother TAKE CARE of her children while she went off to get another DEGREE PAID FOR BY THAT MOTHER. Then Joan WROTE in a book about how she treated her children, documented CHILD ABUSE SHE did, how she BURNED her children’s stuff, how she attempted SUICIDE in front of her children.

Joan Wheeler continues to drag me into her useless conversations about adoption problems! August 12, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Today, on facebook, Joan writes, in a discussion about a book (not her own piece of shit libelous mouthings of raving lunacy, but somebody else’s book:

 Joan M Wheeler (to) Hilbrand W.S. Westra – “you are so very right. I noticed this, too, but didn’t say so publicly as the author is a friend of mine. I think she knows exactly the point you make. And yes, we need to stop pointing fingers at adoptees as the source of our own problems. Adoption itself is the problem from which all others stem. HOWEVER, for many adoptees, like me, who are half orphans or full orphans, one or both of our parents actually did die. That problem was fully discussed by Ken Watson (RIP) at an AAC conference circa 1990. I was dissolved to tears, yet, our good friend, René Hoksbergen nudged me forward to talk with Ken that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings, compounded by adoption soon afterward. And yes, compounded by adopters’ ignorance and willful deception.”

 okay, in this discussion that I really don’t have any interest in, – she SLAMS her birth siblings again by saying “…that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings …”

 Excuse me Joan, I most certainly do NOT have any lifelong problems due to the death of my mother. WHERE is your evidence that I have lifelong problems? I”M not the one constantly harassing people, YOU are. I’M not the one on Social Security Disability because of “psychological problems” – YOU are. I’M not the one who bounces from man to man and has an alchohol problem – That’s YOU. I’M not the one who has been in therapy for more 30 years – YOU are. — The three times I requested counseling – 1. grief counseling after miscarrying my son, 2. seeking advice on PTSD in Veteran’s, as my husband has nightmares due to his years in Vietnam, and 3. overload of stress in 2003 after my husband’s open heart surgery, and the deaths of 6 family members in rapid succession, beginning in the end of July 2003 to the middle of October 2003 and my father’s open heart surgery two and a half months after my husband’s surgery. In all three times – I went to only THREE therapy sessions, lasting only an hour each time – (three hours of therapy for Ruth, compared to years and years for Joan) – and each therapist told me that I was a well-adjusted person. SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH ABOUT ME JOAN.

 Earlier today, in response to a facebook post by the comic magazine Cracked about the suicide of Robin Williams, I wrote the following:

 “Cracked.com says: ‘Every time they make a joke around you, they’re doing it because they instinctively and reflexively think that’s what they need to do to make you like them. They’re afraid that the moment the laughter stops, all that’s left is that gross, awkward kid everyone hated on the playground.’

 (my response) – well, I was the gross, awkward kid on the playground that nobody liked and everybody bullied. I have scars from the bullying. I just turned 62 and there are times I remember the names and it still hurts. But I took life on and said “fuck this shit.” I turned my ugly duckling younger self – the one the other girls in school called ugly and became a graceful belly dancer. I became a health care worker because I have compassion.

 I will never commit suicide, because that would be giving in. I will never poison my body with stupid drugs. I will never turn a gun on myself (or others). I will never hang myself. I try new things. I wish I had more money to try more new things. I want to see more of the world. It’s such a beautiful and exciting world – I want to see Paris, Rome, Athens, Rio de Janieros – the Great Wall of China – the tomb of Tutankhamun –

I’m sorry that Robin took the route he did. I loved him as an actor and comedian. I wish he had not done what he did.”

 I also wrote this last night regarding the speculation that Robin Williams depression may have been linked to his heart disease and surgery, and he was feeling vulnerable:

 “John had heart surgery in 2003. He was not, is not depressed. Nor does he take drugs, nor does he drink. We both have an occasional beer or wine.

 Robin Williams said that he felt “vulnerable.” Not sure what he meant by that. Every surgery can be potentially dangerous. Lots of people go thru surgery every day all over the world.

 We can’t be inside another human’s head to figure out what is going on. All I can do is comment from my own experiences. I’ve had several surgeries, and came out not feeling vulnerable. And so has John – and John was scared shitless. Imagine not ever having surgery before – and your very first surgery is heart surgery. Perhaps John has a strong will – after all, he was a Navy Seal in Vietnam for six years. Takes a special kind of man for that job.

 Life is tough. Ya gotta meet it head on. Or get plowed under. I refuse to get plowed under. “

 AND before learning about Robin Williams’ suicide, I had just written the following rebuttal to actor Russell Brand’s “excuse” for drug abuse:

 “I disagree – everybody knows by now how harmful drugs are. You are not born with drugs in your system – YOU made the conscious decision to PUT the drugs into your body. Everybody knows these substances are highly addictive – but, YOU chose to put them into your body. If this “illness” causes you to steal your own mother’s rent money (I know someone on my street who did that) or do the shit my exBFF did to me – and you see these things happening again and again to people in your neighborhood, you read about the theft and violence and greed that taking and selling drugs does not only to the user, but those around them – WHY would you even start taking that shit? I am 62 years old, and outside of smoking some weed, I have NEVER taken drugs, don’t want to take that shit and will never be a drug addict – not even to prescription pain pills, because I take those guys for needed pain relief, then wean myself off that shit.

 My body is my temple – the only bad shit I put into it is coffee, pizza and chocolate – IN MODERATION – and they don’t cause me to steal from people, lie to my loved ones, or treat my loved ones like shit.


The only problems I have right now – are dealing with the fact that Joan REFUSES to stop dragging me into her crap. – Shut the fuck up about me Joan.

never give up

This is what I live by – NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER. Joan on the other hand, dissolves into tears, gets the shakes, is overwhelmed, is stunned, is shocked and runs to the bottle. (her own words in her stupid book and on various places on the internet).

And check out this other recent development from Joan’s lying mouth. 


Joan Wheeler LIES again – about her “employment” credentials!


1. gertmcqueenAugust 12, 2014 [Edit]

Gert here…

Joan Wheeler said…
“…that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings …”

Since when does she get the right to diagnosis ANYONE’s problems! She is NOT qualified to state that her siblings have ANY PROBLEMS. While the loss of OUR mother caused each of us PAIN, it does not equate to having ‘lifelong problems’. Joan knows NOTHING about my life, period. What ever she thinks she knows…is in and comes from her diseased mind!

From the MOMENT that Joan was reunited with the birth family, it was SHE that created ALL THE PROBLEMS. It was SHE who said I was WRONG to ADOPT my own son, that I was an unfit mother, and more. It was SHE who called false child abuse upon me, twice.It was SHE who REFUSED to go to mediation to SOLVE the problems BETWEEN US. It was SHE who asked my grown daughter to COMMIT A CRIME for her! It was SHE who continuously REFUSED to leave me and others alone.

It was SHE who wrote a libelous book BECAUSE everyone HURT HER! And SHE imagined getting rich and famous on the backs of family and friends! Every time SHE speaks SHE insults and drags the siblings in the dirt!

And that is why we siblings have blogs…where the TRUTH comes out.


Lesson for Joan Wheeler – Never try to destroy someone’s life with a lie when yours could be destroyed by the truth. July 7, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: , , , , , ,
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destroy 3

So Joan – WHERE is your precious book? WHERE is your career as a big-time speaker at adoption conferences? – I’ll tell you where – IN THE TOILET!

 Because you sought to destroy my life with your asshole lies – YOU got caught with the shit in your face – you didn’t count on the fact that I would keep the court documents that had the FACTS and the TRUTH behind our history. You sought to change that history. And it blew up in your face.

 And the same thing will happen with your “new revised” book. Because, you asshole – the FACTS and the TRUTH can NOT be revised.

liars think they truth

Never fear – when you read something from Ruth and Gert – you are reading the FACTS and the TRUTH – cos we back up what we say with PROOF. I have plastered this blog with scans of letters, court documents, photographs, even scans of weather reports from old newspapers to refute the LIES that Joan Wheeler puts out about MY life and GERT’S life.

What proof does Joan Wheeler put out? – NOTHING! Not once have I seen ONE lousy picture, scan of a letter, ANYTHING that would prove that ANYTHING that she says is a FACT or a TRUTH.

GERT here…

UPDATE OCTOBER 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!


this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.



check them out

I am so bad that I can do things in my sleep, then I must read Joan Wheeler’s tweets to find out what I’ve done. lol June 27, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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love rumors – one day in January 2013, while I was sound asleep – apparently I had done so much stuff in my sleep, I had to go to Joan Wheeler’s twitter page to find out what I did. ~~~ 

I have copied and pasted here, a past blogpost because I found this great meme on facebook. This all came about in January 2013, when I went to bed, and got up several hours to find out on twitter, that while I was asleep, I had been very busy doing shit to Joan. (would someone please lobotomize her?) – anyway, I just had to revisit this blog post, because – several of “that family unit that avoids me and wants nothing to do with me” (as per asshole Joan Wheeler) are now facebook freinds with me, and several months ago, one of them even REFUTED what Joan said. My cousin Dennis said, “no ever said they didn’t want you around.” But Joan likes to lie about everybody and everything.

anyways, here is an account of Joan going nutty on public internet:

Joan Wheeler goes nutty on Twitter and accuses Ruth once again of doing something she didn’t do. January 31, 2013

Joan goes nutty on Twitter and accuses Ruth once again of doing something she didn’t do. by Gert and Ruth

Gert: Too much happening at present to make proper blog post. I would like to inform those that would like to follow the unfolding circumstances and that have access to tweeter to go to the following tweeter addresses and look at the ‘tweets’and you can make what you want of them. Personally, Joan Wheeler is seriously off the deep edge! Look from Jan 24th to present…more developing and will report when able.

addresses On twitter



@forbiddenfamily (this is Joan Wheeler)

also topics are #






Ruth here –January 31, 2013, 1:00am at home, not work. –Never mind all that –here are the actual tweets. But first an explanation.

On Saturday, January 26, my cousin’s husband was killed in a car accident. As I had to work Saturday night, 7pm, I did not see the news. The next day Sunday, I slept all day and I was off that night, but still did not see the news nor hear of the death. I slept Monday, worked Monday night, 7pm. still ignorant of the death. At 2am Tuesday, January 29, I was slightly injured at work. The ER gave me med and sent me home. I got home around 4am and went straight to bed. I got up between 10:30am 11:00am. Got a cup of coffee, turned on computer and was reading Twitter. When some of Joan’s tweets got on my newsfeed. and I read that I was using this death to spread rumors about her. I’m like, WHAT THE HELL DID I DO? AND WHO THE HELL DIED? AND HOW AM I SPREADING RUMORS WHEN I JUST WOKE UP? –So I called my cousin Nancy and asked “did someone in the family die?”and she told me. I then called Becky, the aunt of the widow, and spoke briefly to her.

Now –this side of the family is MY godmother –her son Dennis, used to be close to Joan. Their children used to be close to each other. This was like 20 years ago. But then Joan started dictating to Dennis how to raise his kids and he said shut the hell up. It was Dennisdaughter Melissa, who lost her husband the other day. Mielissa has a 4 year old little girl.

Now growing up, my family didn’t have a car. This family lived way out in the suburbs where we couldn’t get to them. But we saw them occasionally. The last time Gert and Dennis saw each other was when they were kids, some 50 –60 years ago. And Gert moved out of Buffalo in 1982. For myself, in the 90′s into the early 2000′s most times I didn’t have a car, so I didn’t see the family that much.

In December 2012, I got a call from Nancy and she said, there was a family get-together at The Country Buffet sponsored by that side of the family and they wanted me to come but didn’t have my new phone number. Nancy said she had gotten like 3 or 4 calls from them to call me but didn’t have a chance to call me because she recently had carpal tunnel surgery.

So I go to the brunch and two cousins asked if Joan was coming and I said no, and they expressed relief. Another cousin expressed anger at Joan, another cousin said he wanted to punch Joan’s lights out for what she wrote in the book.

Now pay attention to these particular tweets: numbers, 3, 6, 8 and 9.

#3 –she’s describing MY godmother, Melissa’s grandmother that “she doesn’t know her grandaughter’s husband died and it will kill her.”um, is Joan part of that immediate family? Is it HER business to saying stuff like that?

#9. “aunt is 86 years old, has dementia, sees my (dead) mother.”How the hell does Joan know what’s going on in another person’s mind?

#8. and #9 –these are the tweets that Joan is using this family tragedy as a springboard to further slam me and Gert. She says the father of the widow (Dennis) avoids us. WRONG –he simply hasn’t seen Gert since he was a kid! And we just saw each other 5 weeks ago!

now here, read these things and decide for yourself if Joan is sane or not:

1. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

That little girl is now a half orphan. Too many, too many.

10:12 AM –29 Jan 13 ·

2. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Can’t be on Facebook now. Too many deaths since Sept. Very sad. In shock. Another 2nd cousin, adopted fam, died, father of 2 yr old daughtr

3. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Trauma. Sadness. Generational. Must see Aunt soon to tell her I love her. She does’nt know, would kill her: granddaughter lost husband.

4. 19mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Yes. Another new half orphan. This one will not be given up for adoption. I don’t blame my Dad for giving me up. His wife died.

5. 22mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Please pray for Mom who lost her husband Sat morn. She’ll need family around her, her sisters, brothers, now keep her safe. Await memorial.

6. 26mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Will they butt into this family tradegy? Yes, we are all family. They are not wanted in this family group. My Twitter friends, please pray.

7. 27mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

My sisters are on Twitter. Blocked them. They will get these Tweets to spread rumors I am causing trouble. Father of new widow avoids them.

8. 29mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Wonder if anyone will suggest to my 2nd cousin that her “4 yr old daughter needs 2 parents”so give her up for adoption?

9. 30mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Ripples…My Aunt, 86, pregnant at same time my Mom was, sees my Mom when she sees me. Dementia now. Doesn’t know about granddaughter’s loss

10.33mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Ripple effect. My mother died when I was 3 months old. Grievinf father told to give me up for adoption because I “needed 2 parents”. WTF

11. 34mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Too much trauma. Ripple effect. My daughter, age 26, grieves along side of her cousin. They shared a childhood. Death, loss, nightmares.

12. 36mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Another death. Young father killed in car crash, leaving behind wife, age 26, and 4 year old daughter. The wife is my 2ndcousin, by blood.

13. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

For what purpose is it to remake a child’s birth certificate in adoption? You have new custody..is that enough? Guardianship keeps inline

14. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

there is no god. To take away a child’s father id creul. You took away y mother + gave me new one. Fuk’ed me over. Another one now.

15. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Death…you come upon us when we think we know time. You took my mother when I was a babe. Yu took my cousin’s hubby + left a 4 yr old: why

16. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Death be not proud! Do not take the widows and the children and make them puppets for the adoption mills! Not one more lost to adoption

17. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

As I watch the new half orphans march passed me, I see their tiny faces and think: you have people who will not stand for you to be adopted

18. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

I cannot control my grief. too many deaths. too much loss, too much, too much. There is no reaason.

19. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

I grieve for my 2nd cousin’s husband, dead in car accident. Gone too soon. Wife and child left behind. Momma, like you, they died too soon.

comments to this blog post:

1. RuthJanuary 31, 2013

oh –don’t forget how Joan says that side of the family doesn’t me around –but they called Nancy 3 or 4 times to make sure I came to the family brunch on Dec. 23, 2012.

 me and Judy

me (left) and cousin Judy (right) at the family brunch, Dec. 23, 2012. photo taken by Rebecca Herr Snyder (Becky), she who Joan says doesn’t want me around. (then why is she taking my picture?) AND many of my relatives asked about Gert and Kathy, how they are, what are they doing, etc.

2. gertmcqueen –January 31, 2013 [Edit]
These tweets of Joan
’s plus those she wrote BEFORE are nothing but the ravings of a mad person! This is WHAT is in that now dead book! Rants of a diseased mind, who throws temper fits over gun-violence and a CNN reporter or whatever she is mad about, not having a original birthcertificate and the birth siblings. Joan is a mental case, she is ON NY state disability cause she can’t work at anything. She never worked as a social worker, and she can not help any one because of her VIEW of life.

Her friends are not helping her by encouraging her work in the realm of adoption reform, but then again, those friends of Joan’s are nothing but bullies because they go after people who ADOPT, like that’s a crime! Joan is ABUSING HERSELF and her friends stand by and DO NOTHING to help her! It sometimes amazes me how downright STUPID these people are…everyone knows when to pull the soldier off the battlefield, but these stupid adoption reform people actually KEEP Joan and her mental ravings go PUBLIC, like that is HELPING.

3. Ruth

I said if before –in regards to when I point out a LIE that Joan has said in the book or the internet and I back up what I say with an actual city court document (as opposed to Joan who has offered absolutely NO proof of ANYthing she has said about me: those who continue to say Joan Wheeler is the best thing since sliced bread and her birth sisters are sick in the head THEY are as cracked in the head as Joan is. To be in law enforcement, and read that Joan Wheelerr VIOLATED THE LAW by calling someonejob to lob false accusations of computer fraud, read that Joan Wheeler PUBLICLY ADMIT on the internet that it was indeed she who contacted my employer, and don’t recognize that deed as AGGRAVED HARASSMENT 2 –PHONE/TELEGRAPH/WRITTEN COMMUNICATION TO ALARM –well, I think that person is a piss-poor law enforcement agent.

AND that law enforcement agent should know that ALL evidence should be looked at –I wonder if she EVER took the time to EXAMINE the court documents that I have posted over and over on this blog –then compare it to what Joan has said.

Joan says in a letter she wrote to Albany NY Child Protective Services that I was placed on six month probation in 1993. ON the internet and the book she’s saying that I was placed on a one year order of protection. When in reality it was a six month order of protection ACD –

If those are the kinds of law enforcement agents they have in California –STUPID –then I will keep my little behind right here in New York State. –because that particular person IS MOST DEFINITELY AS CRACKED IN THE HEAD AS JOAN WHEELER!

attention Joan Wheeler: THERE CAN NOT BE A REVISED EDITION OF THE TRUTH! June 26, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
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Joan Wheeler has been making overtures about a newly revised edition of her libelous book Forbidden Family. I got some things to say about that. I put them on facebook and had a couple of responses. Here is the facebook exchanges, and as a bonus, I have copied a couple of tweets I sent out. 

Joan Wheeler is trying to publish a revised version of her libelous book

 THERE CAN NOT BE A REVISED EDITION OF THE TRUTH! – Because when Joan signed a contract with Trafford Publishers to have her book published, she told them that everything in it was the TRUTH. When she began promoting that book, she said on various places on the internet that her book was the TRUTH. But in reading that book, I found many lies in it – and I still had documentation that PROVED what Joan wrote in her book was FALSE. That documentation was sent to Trafford and their legal department saw that Joan LIED to them and they pulled the book.

 So – now Joan is REVISING her book. Now tell me Joan – if it is necessary to REVISE it, then it WASN’T THE TRUTH like you said it was.


IF she succeeds in getting that book out – by herself – that means SHE and she alone is responsible for the content – and this time around, we have a lawyer. This time around, I will take her to court. I am not playing with the psycho-bitch. And she let the door open this time. By harassing me in calling my job November 2012 with lies about computer fraud (which I was exonerated from) – she tried to get me fired, then in January 2013 she admitted it on the internet – USING her screen name of Forbidden Family – any more published lies about me will show a pattern of slander/libel against me. And that published book (the 2009 edition) that had PROVABLE lies about me will show her true intent – to slander and harass me. 

facebook responses:

J.w. — “Just contact whoever markets the book for her. Send them copies of any court orders concerning the first one. No one will want to be involved.” 

M.H.R. — “She better not be lying about my Dad again!!!!” 

N.H.T. — “She better not say one word about my Mother or Father again or she will be looking over her shoulder, because if I catch her she will be Died (sic) meat !!!” 

Gert Mcqueen — this time around, Joan is really doing a ‘self-publishing’ venture. She’s doing all the lay-outs on her own, she cut out the middle-men and their lawyers. Some how she’ll have to figure out HOW to get it published that costs $$$, something she doesn’t have, unless and until she gets another man! but that’s another story. Joan wants the book(s) to produce an income, she’s on NY disability, and she wants fame/fortune on the backs of both adoptive and birth families, been there done that and we birth sisters GOT that libelous book pulled. We shall do it again 

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace — there were no court orders regarding the first book – we got it pulled from publication by sending documented proof of the libel to the publisher. And their legal department investigated and determined that yes, Joan DID lie. And as you surmise, they didn’t want to be sued, so they pulled the book. 

marketing agents will be notified, lest they want to be involved in a lawsuit. I’m going after ANY one who supports a book or publication that says that I have a criminal record when I have none. 

Joan Wheeler currently belongs to a local writers group – Northside Writers Group – and if they are helping her – they will be sued as well. 

and here are a couple of tweets I sent out: 

if Northside Writers Group is producing/marketing slander by Joan Wheeler against me, they will be sued.@FredTomaselloJr @forbiddenfamily 

documented proof of her libel against me resulted in first book being pulled from publication. I have lawyer on standby @FredTomaselloJr 

any person/company producing/marketing libelous books by Joan Wheeler will be named in my lawsuit against Joan Wheeler. @FredTomaselloJr

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