Joan Wheeler – what is your solution for kids languishing in orphanages and NO family members are taking in? December 10, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, Lies, mental instability, stupidity, theft
Joan Wheeler hates the institution of adoption so badly that she wants to eradicate adoption from the entire planet of Earth! What an unrealistic idea. But then, Joan has always been unrealistic in her thoughts, deeds and goals.
Joan’s “brilliant” solution for a replacement for the act of adopting an orphan is kinship guardianship. Well, that’s all well and good on the surface – but – what if there is a child who HAS no family left at all? Like a child who’s whole family is wiped out by war or an act of nature (earthquake, flood, etc.) – and there ARE many such babies and children who have experienced this.
OR – as in the case of MY family – when MY mother died, and my father was left with four young children, aged 3 years to 9 years and one three month old infant – extended family members TRIED to help out.
What does Joan propose for a family such as ours? FORCE an aunt or uncle to raise that infant? I believe that is what she wants – because she forced ME to provide Christmas 1989 for HER kids when I did not give birth to them, nor their legal parent or guardian – explanation: Joan stole money from me in the summer of 1989. In September 1989, she agreed to repay me, we were expecting refund checks from a lawyer for his fee (long story) – Joan agreed that when her check came, she would cash it and turn the entire amount over to me to go towards what she owed me. But, the little lying snake that she is, she called me early December 1989 and informed me (did not ask, but INFORMED me) that she was KEEPING all the money to provide Christmas presents for her kids. Never mind that her husband had a job, was working and SHE refused to get off HER ass and get a part time job to provide for her own kids. NO, she saw $$$ that her sister (me) had coming, but her sister (me) was in a two-income relationship, and her sister had a well-paying job, and therefore her sister’s money should be redistributed to JOAN AND HER FAMILY. So, yeah, money was stolen from me, and then never repaid, because JOAN made a decision on how to spend MY money, therefore I was FORCED to provide Christmas for her kids.
Here’s a picture of an orphan child:
What is Joan’s solution for this child?
She wants to eradicate adoption – she thinks that every child should be raised by other family members – um, there were none for this kid – so according to Joan Wheeler, he should stay in the hospital, being raised by nurses until he becomes an adult.
Good solution there Joan Wheeler. – Totally illogical, stupid and inhumane.
Joan Wheeler continues to drag me into her useless conversations about adoption problems! August 12, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, blaming people for your own mess, embellishing the truth, gossip, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity
Today, on facebook, Joan writes, in a discussion about a book (not her own piece of shit libelous mouthings of raving lunacy, but somebody else’s book:
Joan M Wheeler (to) Hilbrand W.S. Westra – “you are so very right. I noticed this, too, but didn’t say so publicly as the author is a friend of mine. I think she knows exactly the point you make. And yes, we need to stop pointing fingers at adoptees as the source of our own problems. Adoption itself is the problem from which all others stem. HOWEVER, for many adoptees, like me, who are half orphans or full orphans, one or both of our parents actually did die. That problem was fully discussed by Ken Watson (RIP) at an AAC conference circa 1990. I was dissolved to tears, yet, our good friend, René Hoksbergen nudged me forward to talk with Ken that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings, compounded by adoption soon afterward. And yes, compounded by adopters’ ignorance and willful deception.”
okay, in this discussion that I really don’t have any interest in, – she SLAMS her birth siblings again by saying “…that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings …”
Excuse me Joan, I most certainly do NOT have any lifelong problems due to the death of my mother. WHERE is your evidence that I have lifelong problems? I”M not the one constantly harassing people, YOU are. I’M not the one on Social Security Disability because of “psychological problems” – YOU are. I’M not the one who bounces from man to man and has an alchohol problem – That’s YOU. I’M not the one who has been in therapy for more 30 years – YOU are. — The three times I requested counseling – 1. grief counseling after miscarrying my son, 2. seeking advice on PTSD in Veteran’s, as my husband has nightmares due to his years in Vietnam, and 3. overload of stress in 2003 after my husband’s open heart surgery, and the deaths of 6 family members in rapid succession, beginning in the end of July 2003 to the middle of October 2003 and my father’s open heart surgery two and a half months after my husband’s surgery. In all three times – I went to only THREE therapy sessions, lasting only an hour each time – (three hours of therapy for Ruth, compared to years and years for Joan) – and each therapist told me that I was a well-adjusted person. SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH ABOUT ME JOAN.
Earlier today, in response to a facebook post by the comic magazine Cracked about the suicide of Robin Williams, I wrote the following:
“Cracked.com says: ‘Every time they make a joke around you, they’re doing it because they instinctively and reflexively think that’s what they need to do to make you like them. They’re afraid that the moment the laughter stops, all that’s left is that gross, awkward kid everyone hated on the playground.’
(my response) – well, I was the gross, awkward kid on the playground that nobody liked and everybody bullied. I have scars from the bullying. I just turned 62 and there are times I remember the names and it still hurts. But I took life on and said “fuck this shit.” I turned my ugly duckling younger self – the one the other girls in school called ugly and became a graceful belly dancer. I became a health care worker because I have compassion.
I will never commit suicide, because that would be giving in. I will never poison my body with stupid drugs. I will never turn a gun on myself (or others). I will never hang myself. I try new things. I wish I had more money to try more new things. I want to see more of the world. It’s such a beautiful and exciting world – I want to see Paris, Rome, Athens, Rio de Janieros – the Great Wall of China – the tomb of Tutankhamun –
I’m sorry that Robin took the route he did. I loved him as an actor and comedian. I wish he had not done what he did.”
I also wrote this last night regarding the speculation that Robin Williams depression may have been linked to his heart disease and surgery, and he was feeling vulnerable:
“John had heart surgery in 2003. He was not, is not depressed. Nor does he take drugs, nor does he drink. We both have an occasional beer or wine.
Robin Williams said that he felt “vulnerable.” Not sure what he meant by that. Every surgery can be potentially dangerous. Lots of people go thru surgery every day all over the world.
We can’t be inside another human’s head to figure out what is going on. All I can do is comment from my own experiences. I’ve had several surgeries, and came out not feeling vulnerable. And so has John – and John was scared shitless. Imagine not ever having surgery before – and your very first surgery is heart surgery. Perhaps John has a strong will – after all, he was a Navy Seal in Vietnam for six years. Takes a special kind of man for that job.
Life is tough. Ya gotta meet it head on. Or get plowed under. I refuse to get plowed under. “
AND before learning about Robin Williams’ suicide, I had just written the following rebuttal to actor Russell Brand’s “excuse” for drug abuse:
“I disagree – everybody knows by now how harmful drugs are. You are not born with drugs in your system – YOU made the conscious decision to PUT the drugs into your body. Everybody knows these substances are highly addictive – but, YOU chose to put them into your body. If this “illness” causes you to steal your own mother’s rent money (I know someone on my street who did that) or do the shit my exBFF did to me – and you see these things happening again and again to people in your neighborhood, you read about the theft and violence and greed that taking and selling drugs does not only to the user, but those around them – WHY would you even start taking that shit? I am 62 years old, and outside of smoking some weed, I have NEVER taken drugs, don’t want to take that shit and will never be a drug addict – not even to prescription pain pills, because I take those guys for needed pain relief, then wean myself off that shit.
My body is my temple – the only bad shit I put into it is coffee, pizza and chocolate – IN MODERATION – and they don’t cause me to steal from people, lie to my loved ones, or treat my loved ones like shit.
STAY THE FUCK OFF DRUGS”
The only problems I have right now – are dealing with the fact that Joan REFUSES to stop dragging me into her crap. – Shut the fuck up about me Joan.
This is what I live by – NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER. Joan on the other hand, dissolves into tears, gets the shakes, is overwhelmed, is stunned, is shocked and runs to the bottle. (her own words in her stupid book and on various places on the internet).
And check out this other recent development from Joan’s lying mouth.
Lesson for Joan Wheeler – Never try to destroy someone’s life with a lie when yours could be destroyed by the truth. July 7, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
Tags: abuse, false accusations, LIBEL, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, stupidity
So Joan – WHERE is your precious book? WHERE is your career as a big-time speaker at adoption conferences? – I’ll tell you where – IN THE TOILET!
Because you sought to destroy my life with your asshole lies – YOU got caught with the shit in your face – you didn’t count on the fact that I would keep the court documents that had the FACTS and the TRUTH behind our history. You sought to change that history. And it blew up in your face.
And the same thing will happen with your “new revised” book. Because, you asshole – the FACTS and the TRUTH can NOT be revised.
Never fear – when you read something from Ruth and Gert – you are reading the FACTS and the TRUTH – cos we back up what we say with PROOF. I have plastered this blog with scans of letters, court documents, photographs, even scans of weather reports from old newspapers to refute the LIES that Joan Wheeler puts out about MY life and GERT’S life.
What proof does Joan Wheeler put out? – NOTHING! Not once have I seen ONE lousy picture, scan of a letter, ANYTHING that would prove that ANYTHING that she says is a FACT or a TRUTH.
I am so bad that I can do things in my sleep, then I must read Joan Wheeler’s tweets to find out what I’ve done. lol June 27, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: being downright stupid
I have copied and pasted here, a past blogpost because I found this great meme on facebook. This all came about in January 2013, when I went to bed, and got up several hours to find out on twitter, that while I was asleep, I had been very busy doing shit to Joan. (would someone please lobotomize her?) – anyway, I just had to revisit this blog post, because – several of “that family unit that avoids me and wants nothing to do with me” (as per asshole Joan Wheeler) are now facebook freinds with me, and several months ago, one of them even REFUTED what Joan said. My cousin Dennis said, “no ever said they didn’t want you around.” But Joan likes to lie about everybody and everything.
anyways, here is an account of Joan going nutty on public internet:
Joan Wheeler goes nutty on Twitter and accuses Ruth once again of doing something she didn’t do. January 31, 2013
Joan goes nutty on Twitter and accuses Ruth once again of doing something she didn’t do. by Gert and Ruth
Gert: Too much happening at present to make proper blog post. I would like to inform those that would like to follow the unfolding circumstances and that have access to tweeter to go to the following tweeter addresses and look at the ‘tweets’and you can make what you want of them. Personally, Joan Wheeler is seriously off the deep edge! Look from Jan 24th to present…more developing and will report when able.
addresses On twitter
@forbiddenfamily (this is Joan Wheeler)
also topics are #
Ruth here –January 31, 2013, 1:00am at home, not work. –Never mind all that –here are the actual tweets. But first an explanation.
On Saturday, January 26, my cousin’s husband was killed in a car accident. As I had to work Saturday night, 7pm, I did not see the news. The next day Sunday, I slept all day and I was off that night, but still did not see the news nor hear of the death. I slept Monday, worked Monday night, 7pm. still ignorant of the death. At 2am Tuesday, January 29, I was slightly injured at work. The ER gave me med and sent me home. I got home around 4am and went straight to bed. I got up between 10:30am –11:00am. Got a cup of coffee, turned on computer and was reading Twitter. When some of Joan’s tweets got on my newsfeed. and I read that I was using this death to spread rumors about her. I’m like, WHAT THE HELL DID I DO? AND WHO THE HELL DIED? AND HOW AM I SPREADING RUMORS WHEN I JUST WOKE UP? –So I called my cousin Nancy and asked “did someone in the family die?”and she told me. I then called Becky, the aunt of the widow, and spoke briefly to her.
Now –this side of the family is MY godmother –her son Dennis, used to be close to Joan. Their children used to be close to each other. This was like 20 years ago. But then Joan started dictating to Dennis how to raise his kids and he said shut the hell up. It was Dennis’daughter Melissa, who lost her husband the other day. Mielissa has a 4 year old little girl.
Now growing up, my family didn’t have a car. This family lived way out in the suburbs where we couldn’t get to them. But we saw them occasionally. The last time Gert and Dennis saw each other was when they were kids, some 50 –60 years ago. And Gert moved out of Buffalo in 1982. For myself, in the 90′s into the early 2000′s most times I didn’t have a car, so I didn’t see the family that much.
In December 2012, I got a call from Nancy and she said, there was a family get-together at The Country Buffet sponsored by that side of the family and they wanted me to come but didn’t have my new phone number. Nancy said she had gotten like 3 or 4 calls from them to call me but didn’t have a chance to call me because she recently had carpal tunnel surgery.
So I go to the brunch and two cousins asked if Joan was coming and I said no, and they expressed relief. Another cousin expressed anger at Joan, another cousin said he wanted to punch Joan’s lights out for what she wrote in the book.
Now pay attention to these particular tweets: numbers, 3, 6, 8 and 9.
#3 –she’s describing MY godmother, Melissa’s grandmother that “she doesn’t know her grandaughter’s husband died and it will kill her.” – um, is Joan part of that immediate family? Is it HER business to saying stuff like that?
#9. “aunt is 86 years old, has dementia, sees my (dead) mother.”How the hell does Joan know what’s going on in another person’s mind?
#8. and #9 –these are the tweets that Joan is using this family tragedy as a springboard to further slam me and Gert. She says the father of the widow (Dennis) avoids us. –WRONG –he simply hasn’t seen Gert since he was a kid! And we just saw each other 5 weeks ago!
now here, read these things and decide for yourself if Joan is sane or not:
That little girl is now a half orphan. Too many, too many.
10:12 AM –29 Jan 13 ·
Can’t be on Facebook now. Too many deaths since Sept. Very sad. In shock. Another 2nd cousin, adopted fam, died, father of 2 yr old daughtr
Trauma. Sadness. Generational. Must see Aunt soon to tell her I love her. She does’nt know, would kill her: granddaughter lost husband.
Yes. Another new half orphan. This one will not be given up for adoption. I don’t blame my Dad for giving me up. His wife died.
Please pray for Mom who lost her husband Sat morn. She’ll need family around her, her sisters, brothers, now keep her safe. Await memorial.
Will they butt into this family tradegy? Yes, we are all family. They are not wanted in this family group. My Twitter friends, please pray.
My sisters are on Twitter. Blocked them. They will get these Tweets to spread rumors I am causing trouble. Father of new widow avoids them.
Wonder if anyone will suggest to my 2nd cousin that her “4 yr old daughter needs 2 parents”so give her up for adoption?
Ripples…My Aunt, 86, pregnant at same time my Mom was, sees my Mom when she sees me. Dementia now. Doesn’t know about granddaughter’s loss
Ripple effect. My mother died when I was 3 months old. Grievinf father told to give me up for adoption because I “needed 2 parents”. WTF
Too much trauma. Ripple effect. My daughter, age 26, grieves along side of her cousin. They shared a childhood. Death, loss, nightmares.
Another death. Young father killed in car crash, leaving behind wife, age 26, and 4 year old daughter. The wife is my 2ndcousin, by blood.
For what purpose is it to remake a child’s birth certificate in adoption? You have new custody..is that enough? Guardianship keeps inline
there is no god. To take away a child’s father id creul. You took away y mother + gave me new one. Fuk’ed me over. Another one now.
Death…you come upon us when we think we know time. You took my mother when I was a babe. Yu took my cousin’s hubby + left a 4 yr old: why
Death be not proud! Do not take the widows and the children and make them puppets for the adoption mills! Not one more lost to adoption…
As I watch the new half orphans march passed me, I see their tiny faces and think: you have people who will not stand for you to be adopted
I cannot control my grief. too many deaths. too much loss, too much, too much. There is no reaason.
I grieve for my 2nd cousin’s husband, dead in car accident. Gone too soon. Wife and child left behind. Momma, like you, they died too soon.
comments to this blog post:
oh –don’t forget how Joan says that side of the family doesn’t me around –but they called Nancy 3 or 4 times to make sure I came to the family brunch on Dec. 23, 2012.
me (left) and cousin Judy (right) at the family brunch, Dec. 23, 2012. photo taken by Rebecca Herr Snyder (Becky), she who Joan says doesn’t want me around. (then why is she taking my picture?) AND many of my relatives asked about Gert and Kathy, how they are, what are they doing, etc.
2. gertmcqueen –January 31, 2013 [Edit]
These tweets of Joan’s plus those she wrote BEFORE are nothing but the ravings of a mad person! This is WHAT is in that now dead book! Rants of a diseased mind, who throws temper fits over gun-violence and a CNN reporter or whatever she is mad about, not having a original birthcertificate and the birth siblings. Joan is a mental case, she is ON NY state disability cause she can’t work at anything. She never worked as a social worker, and she can not help any one because of her VIEW of life.
Her friends are not helping her by encouraging her work in the realm of adoption reform, but then again, those friends of Joan’s are nothing but bullies because they go after people who ADOPT, like that’s a crime! Joan is ABUSING HERSELF and her friends stand by and DO NOTHING to help her! It sometimes amazes me how downright STUPID these people are…everyone knows when to pull the soldier off the battlefield, but these stupid adoption reform people actually KEEP Joan and her mental ravings go PUBLIC, like that is HELPING.
I said if before –in regards to when I point out a LIE that Joan has said in the book or the internet and I back up what I say with an actual city court document (as opposed to Joan who has offered absolutely NO proof of ANYthing she has said about me: those who continue to say Joan Wheeler is the best thing since sliced bread and her birth sisters are sick in the head –THEY are as cracked in the head as Joan is. To be in law enforcement, and read that Joan Wheelerr VIOLATED THE LAW by calling someone’job to lob false accusations of computer fraud, read that Joan Wheeler PUBLICLY ADMIT on the internet that it was indeed she who contacted my employer, and don’t recognize that deed as AGGRAVED HARASSMENT 2 –PHONE/TELEGRAPH/WRITTEN COMMUNICATION TO ALARM –well, I think that person is a piss-poor law enforcement agent.
AND that law enforcement agent should know that ALL evidence should be looked at –I wonder if she EVER took the time to EXAMINE the court documents that I have posted over and over on this blog –then compare it to what Joan has said.
Joan says in a letter she wrote to Albany NY Child Protective Services that I was placed on six month probation in 1993. ON the internet and the book she’s saying that I was placed on a one year order of protection. When in reality it was a six month order of protection ACD –
If those are the kinds of law enforcement agents they have in California –STUPID –then I will keep my little behind right here in New York State. –because that particular person IS MOST DEFINITELY AS CRACKED IN THE HEAD AS JOAN WHEELER!
JOAN WHEELER USES THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY MOTHER’S DEATH TO THROW ANOTHER DIG AT HER BIRTHSISTERS March 27, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, emotional abuse
JOAN WHEELER USES THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY MOTHER’S DEATH TO THROW ANOTHER DIG AT HER BIRTHSISTERS
As usual, Joan has to exploit my mother’s death.
Read what she wrote on her facebook today, March 27, 2014. (mind you the anniversary of my mother’s death is March 28).
at around 11am, Joan writes:
Fifty-eight years ago today, my mother died. She was 30 years old. Mom left behind her husband of 10 years, age 31. Mom left behind five children: me, age 3 months; my sister, age 3; my brother, age 6; my sister, age, 8; my oldest sister, age 9. Mom’s death started a cascading set of events that led to my father relinquishing me to adoption. While I had the idyllic “happy” childhood that this “wonderful better life” provided for me, what happened from 1974 to now has been a life of hell. I cannot for one second say that all things happen for a reason. I do not know why my Mother died. God did not will this. This was not Devine Intervention. This was cancer. Genetic mutations. Nature. Nothing more. Today is the hardest day of the year. I want my Mother. The deaths of all my parents from January, February, and two in March… Two mothers died in March, different years. So today, this is my Mother’s Day. For Genevieve Herr Sippel. I love you, Mom.
and then an hour later, around noon, she writes.
Wow. Did I make a big blunder or what? Yeah. Grief does that to a person. The anniversary of mom’s death is tomorrow. I can’t think straight. Too overwhelmed. Two mothers dying in March is one too many. is it any wonder why I can’t “get my facts straight” as my sisters pound it into my head. Yeah, I missed it by one day. While the death anniversary of my adoptive mother was March 12. Thank you, Christine Monahan.. I wish you could get up to San Fran — want to meet this amazing woman in the flesh!!!!
So, as usual, I’m sleeping then come on the internet to find that I’m raked over the coals for something I didn’t do or say. I woke up at 12:20pm, come downstairs, have my coffee, watch Young and the Restless then turn on the computer, write a brief note to the person who does my schedule at work, go on the internet and see that I and my sisters are vilified because of Joan’s mistake.
Um, Joan – was this truly a sentimental post about you missing your mother? Cos you sure USED it as a big chance to stick it to me, my family and everybody else who made your life a hell from 1974. THIS IS WHY WE DON’T WANT YOU AROUND – YOU JUST CANNOT STOP THE SHIT CAN YOU? AND USING MY MOTHER AND HER DEATH AS A VEHICLE FOR YOUR SHIT!
Joan also writes that she is in a new relationship and he’s a secret for now. Who cares? But – Gert called it – the other day, when another disparaging comment appeared on her blog – and this is typical Joan-manipulation-tactics – she gets involved with a man, sobs her heart out what rotten bitches her sisters are, gets them to come to our blogs to insult us, then sits back to watch this new puppet attack us – while she keeps her hands all squeaky clean. Well, as I said who cares? If this new fella starts harassing me – he will go the way all her other puppets have – thrown to the curb by Joan when the heat gets turned up.
some facebook remarks by Gert and me —
Gert: as I said in some tweets…Joan in her hysteria does NOT help our mother’s soul. Joan is a drama queen always looking for attention…She’s been in ‘seclusion’ BECAUSE she’s got a new MAN, she picked up at a bar…that’s where they all come from. Last june she met ‘the love of her life’ in a bar…when to NM and found out he was a drunk, she was lamenting online in January of THIS YEAR about him and here it’s MARCH and she’s GOT ANOTHER SUCKER, who left a nasty comment on a blog post of mine! He’s going to be another Russ and Brian.
Joan has NO sense of the divine, she refuses to acknowledge her tiny self in the vast universe and until she does she will ALWAYS have these mental sicknesses and mental disturbances that cause her sadness and grief. Sorry…her kind of grief is NOT grief…it’s attention getting. Joan was NOT the only child who’s MOTHER DIED. Remember those that have passed over with fondness…NOT with exploitation means…Joan knows nothing about TRUE honoring of one’s parents.
Ruth: why o why can Joan not post pictures of mom, like I did, and just leave it at that? she can’t – cos she’s a perpetual garbage mouth.
A letter I wrote to Joan Wheeler, 10 years before her book came out- warning her not use my name or picture – and the bitch did it anyway. March 26, 2014Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, Disrespect, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity, whining
I just found a gem of a letter that I wrote to Joan in April 1999 – to answer the bitch’s letter to me in February 1999 that my then fiancé (now husband) John got the next door neighbor pregnant. Pay close attention to the paragraph that I highlighted in bold – I told her back in 1999 that she did not have permission to use my name or likeness in her book – 10 years later, in 2009, she may have changed my name, but she left plenty of clues as to my name AND USED MY PICTURE ON THE BACK OF HER BOOK – and that is why her book got pulled from publication.
Ms. Joan Wheeler
1 C Drive,
Kenmore, New York 14223
April 20, 1999,
My Dear Joni,
I think that there a couple of things that need to be clarified. First, the notion that you have that I am wallowing in bitterness and negativity regarding the death of my mother and your existence.
I do not nor have I ever blamed you for Mom’s death. When we found you I was truly happy. And to this day there are times I truly miss you. I miss the good times we had going to the beach, and two or three years ago, when Channel 17 showed a Moody Blues concert I thought that it would have been great watching it with you. I cried because I couldn’t.
I don’t know why you tend to get things mixed up. The first time I called you (the famous “bowling” call), it was at 2 P.M. from a dental office in the Brisbane Building that Gert worked at. It was a Tuesday. The dentist Gert worked for always took Tuesday afternoons off, but Gert had clerical work to do. I was neither drunk, nor panicky when I called you, and I did not end the call with a bunch of giggles. I remember practically every word I said to you as if I had just placed the call five minutes ago.
And yes, I did not take very good care of Mom’s wedding dress in the beginning. But you did not return it by throwing it at my feet and yelling at me. And the year you returned it was 1983, not 1978. And I never got the beads back. So if I originally did not take good care of the dress, you also had a hand in “disrespecting” it.
Where did you get the idea that my grandfather molested and murdered his first born son Richard? Who told you that? If anyone did, they are lying. Richard died of diptheria.
And the idea that my father molested us? Where does this stuff come from? Let me set you straight right here and now, MY FATHER DID NOT MOLEST ME OR MY SISTERS. Kathy kicked him in the balls because that is the most effective place to kick a guy. And that was because Dad stormed into our bedroom with his “Big Daddy” routine. Kathy was getting dressed. She had on slacks and was starting to put on her blouse and yelled at Dad because he saw her in her bra. He yelled back at her “I made you, I can look at you. Now get downstairs and clean up that mess.” Dad was too mad to be thinking about her boobs!
The evening before, our brother Butch was on the phone with his friend George. Kathy came in and wanted to use the phone. Butch said no, cause the last time she said it was important, she ended up calling her girlfriend Pat and told her some new gossip about the Beatles. This time, Butch refused to give up the phone. Kathy reached over and tried to hang up the hook on the wall phone. Butch got up and the next thing you know, the two of them were going at it. John and I were watching from the dining room, George heard it over the phone. Dishes were broken, food ended up on the floor. Then Kathy stormed out of the house. Shortly afterwards, Butch left too, leaving me and John with the mess. Which of course, we did not touch. When Dad came home, we told him what happened and when the guilty parties came home, they were told that they were going to get up the next morning at 6:00 and clean it up. And sure enough, 6:00 the next morning (a Saturday), Dad came upstairs and woke Kathy up. She got up, went to the bathroom and came back upstairs. She was taking her time getting dressed, I could hear Dad downstairs yelling at her to get down there and clean the mess up. I didn’t see him, but Butch tells me that at this point, he was already in the kitchen cleaning. Kathy kept dawdling, Dad was getting madder and madder and that’s when he came up to our room.
Since you were raised as an only child, the above scenario would seem alien to you. But it happens all the time when you get brothers and sisters together. Real life ain’t like The Brady Bunch. I remember our cousins Gail and Norman going at it too! And since I spent so much time there, I was involved in a few brawls with them. One time Aunt Catherine broke in the bathroom door after Gail locked herself in to avoid a thrashing.
It is my understanding that you plan to use my true name and photograph in your book. Well, I am hereby serving you notice that if you do, and you keep that reference of me being drunk when I called, you will be served with a lawsuit for invading my privacy and portraying me as a drunk. You do not nor have ever had my permission to use my name or like ness. And you had better not even of publishing that garbage about my grandfather and father. I don’t like it one bit when I find that strangers are reading that my grand father is a murderer and my father is a molestor. There is no truth to these “speculations” of yours and that is just what they are-speculations of your warped mind.
You were hopping mad when two doctors wrote an article about your daughter’s medical condition in a medical journal, claiming that your privacy was invaded. You want YOUR privacy protected, but what about Gert and Kathy’s privacy? It is up to THEM to tell anyone about their childhood NOT YOU! And what about MY privacy? Who gave you the right to send a “detailed family history” (your version of it) to Commissioner Deborah Merrifield of Social Services? Where was MY privacy when you wrote to the Director of Patient Accounts of Buffalo General Hospital and told him MY personal medical history and MY marital status? What do those two things have to do with YOUR erroneous hospital bill? And where do you get off repeatedly calling my place of employment trying to get me fired? Your phone calls were described to me as “bizarre.” I told everyone, “Of course they’re bizarre, they’re coming from a bizarre person.”
And of course your scheme to break me and John up certainly didn’t work. What did you think to accomplish when you dragged his mother in it? My future mother-in-law sees you for what you are-a trouble-making idiot.
I must hand it to you though, you gave it a good try by calling child abuse on yourself and naming my fiance as the perpetrator, hoping that I would get blamed for the call. Your mistake was that you went overboard by writing letters to the mayor of Buffalo, and other elected officials. I simply sat back and watched you hang yourself. I don’t need to do anything to you, you seem quite capable of digging your own grave.
A relationship of any kind is two-way, not one-way, and that way being YOUR way whether we like it or not. Your attitude has always been, “This is how it will be. Take it or leave it.” And that is exactly what I and so many others have done. We chose not to take it, and left. How many friendships have you destroyed throughout the years? Well, you can add two more to the ever growing list of people who cared about you, had enough of your bullshit and lies, and have broken off their friendship to you. Those being my fiance John and your friend on Balzac Court. No, I did not “badmouth” you, nor did I tell you to put her address on a bullshit letter you sent to my house. You destroyed that friendship all by yourself. Again, you are own worst enemy. And that is the real reason our reunion went sour, not because of some complex psychological feelings of guilt and shame from our dysfunctional childhood, nor feelings of jealousy that you had a secure home growing up while we did not. We simply grew tired of putting up with your rotten behavior. Your behavior is unacceptable and can not and will not be tolerated. Your behavior has cost you the very thing you wanted-your birth family. And don’t try to get yourself off the hook by saying that it wasn’t you who initiated the search, but that it was Gert and me who brought you something you did not want. You had already made the conscious decision when you turned 18, to search for your birth family. You wanted us just as much as we wanted you. It truly is a shame that our lost sister, despite growing up in a stable home environment did not learn the moral values that we did. I am not saying that I’m Miss Goody Two-Shoes. I’ve done a lot of stuff in my life, but nothing compared to your evil plotting, lies, and thefts. I’d bet Shadya is happy that she had to contend with me and Fran and not you. Anything that we did to Shadya pales in comparison to what you have done. We never once called her job and tried to get her fired, or frame her so that she would get arrested or hauled into court on some bullshit “harassment” charges. And we never made off with 900 bucks of hers!
I especially love the time when after I told you in December 1990 that I wanted nothing more to do with you, you had the nerve to call and leave a message on my answering machine saying that money shouldn’t come between sisters. YOU who had only worked a few temporary jobs, and those not very hard ones either are going to lecture ME about MY hard-earned money! I bust my ass at my job. Many times I have to drag myself home on the bus with my feet and back killing me. I have pulled my back out 4 times and in June of 1997, I was out on disability because I was assaulted (kicked in the neck) by a confused patient. And the money you STOLE was not even my money. I had borrowed that money from the credit card, and had to work my ass off to pay it back, going with out a car, because YOU helped yourself to the money to fix YOUR car. When my car broke, I did not have the money to fix it, all my paychecks went to pay back the bank for the borrowed $900.00 you stole. And when dear old Uncle John got laid off, and we did not have the money to pay our electric bill, they shut our electricity off. I called you to beg you for some money-THE MONEY YOU STOLE FROM ME-and you kept hanging up on me, then LIED and said that I hung up on you!
Then used that lie to press bullshit harassment charges on me. This is how you treat your sister that you “love” and your “dear” friend and “uncle” John to your children, a “member of your family.” Remember, HIS electricity was turned off too, and the years we went without a car and could not buy another because I was paying off a debt that I shouldn’t have had to, I was out in the cold waiting for buses too. But you don’t care about that do you? You only care about JONI’S discomfort and JONI’S happiness and to hell with everyone else!
And then you start the bullshit again last month by lovingly informing me that my fiance got my next door neighbor pregnant and they had a baby girl in June 1994. Well, the only two newborns from that house in the past ten years were BOYS. The first, D.J.,born in 1992, looks exactly like his Dad, Danny. The second, Jesse, was born in 1995. I was working the night he was born, and I held him at 5:00 in the morning, just hours after his birth. Charlene and I were oohing and aahing over his little pee-pee. I guarantee, Jesse was a BOY not a girl. Did you really think that John would remain your friend after you told such a lie about him? Open mouth and insert foot, Joni.
I was recently informed that some time ago, you tried to engage a “hitman” to kill me. What a sweet loving sister you are! This is how you show that you love me? In the letters you sent me in the beginning of March you say that you love me, yet you threaten my life? Could this possibly be the reason why I don’t like you? Go ahead, whine some more that me and my sisters don’t like you. To quote you from your letter dated March 1999, “For some reason you don’t like me.” Yeah, I really like people who threaten my life. I’m such a masochist, what can I say? I like people who steal close to $900.00 from me and tell lies about me. NOT!
I have already informed the District Attorney about the threat you made against my life. They can’t do anything at the present time, because it is only hearsay. But they are well aware of your threat, your harassing letters to me and other people, your attitude to various police agencies, and your false claims of having an arrest warrant for our cousin, (????), lies about me being convicted of harassment, of me being placed on probation, and you having an Order of Protection against me. I was NOT convicted or placed on probation. If you’re so smart, provide me with the name of my “probation officer.” You can’t come up with a name because I was never placed on probation. The judge merely told me to leave you alone for six months as a condition of dismissal. I left you alone, and the case against me was summarily dis- missed. The judge did give you an Order of Protection and the district attorney’s office did not like it one bit that YOU called MY house, two months after the judge told me to leave you alone. As usual, Joan does what SHE wants to do. You get the judge to tell me to leave YOU alone, but then you think that you can turn around and call and bother ME.
And since you don’t have an Order of Protection against me, I can drive down any street I want. Who died and left you boss, telling me I can’t drive on certain streets. I don’t know how you or your son “saw” me driving past your house since I did not have a car. I do now, and I’ll drive where I damn well please. Unless you bought the car or pay for the insurance and maintainence, you have no say on where I drive my car.
Oh, by the way, I was investigated by the district attorneys last month in conjunction to my complaint against you. I found out about it from someone I’m close to. I wel- come investigations, because I don’t break the law or make an idiot of myself like you do. I have nothing to hide. If I were you, I’d pray that nothing suspicious ever happens to me or John, because you will be the first person the district attorney will question. In closing let me thank you for providing me with an ad- dress last month that proved very rewarding to me. The gods above are indeed looking out for me. A couple of years after you and Colby made off with the $900, I was still fussing. John’s cousin Chuckie told me “Let it go. You’ll get the money back another way.” And I did. I hit the lottery twice, once with the three digit, and once with the four digit daily numbers for a total of $900.00. I also got a couple of hun- dred dollars from the scratch-off tickets. (I still have the payout receipts). And now, nine years later, I have been rewarded again with two things that I have been wanting a long time. My thanks to you because without the letters you sent me in March, they would not have come to be. YOU pro-vided the means by which I profited.
Goodbye, from your sister who truly does love and miss you, but realizes that your moral values are so different from mine, that we can never have a relationship again. Ruth
ps. I have the guts to put my name on a letter that I write. If you don’t have the courage and honor to sign your name and stand by what you say, then don’t bother saying it. But then again, since it was all a bunch of lies, it’s no wonder you were ashamed to put your name to it. You have proven again and again that you are nothing but a thief and a liar. As to the old saying “How do you sleep at night?” Well, maybe all the “anxiety attacks” that cause you to wake up at night screaming is really your conscience bothering you. I, on theother hand sleep very soundly. And very soundly indeed.
pps. When a “woman professional” (since when, you don’t even have a job, let alone a profession), writes a letter of complaint to a another woman professional, she doesn’t call her a bitch and tell her that she (the recipient of the complaint) almost got slapped in the face. That simply is just not done. It is most unseemly. Oh, now I get your profession! Professional student and welfare slob. You’ve only been going to school for the last twenty years. Your other job must be professional troublemaker and liar.
Now act like the spoiled little brat that you are and call up Daddy and whine: “Daaaddy, Ruth wrote me a leeetter, Daaaddy.” “I”m gonna tell Daddy on you Ruth, NYAH, NYAH” To quote you: “ACT YOUR AGE!”
Go ahead, whine some more at me “you don’t like me.”
NOTE from Gert…
see my post about letter exchange I had with Joan
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, false accusations, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, STUPIDITY STUPIDITY STUPIDITY
I haven’t been to my blogs for a couple of weeks. I’ve been having problems with my primary hotmail email. And I’m not the only one. – You should read some of the posts people have been putting on Outlook’s (Hotmail’s alternate name) facebook page. – Apparently they added a new security feature, and they didn’t program it correctly. When I first couldn’t get into my primary email, I was afraid that my account had been hacked. It turned out it hadn’t been, it was the programmer’s doing some bullshit. And the problem is still there. Four days ago, I got a message via my secondary email account from “Jennifer” and she says they are giving my complaint “the highest priority.” – and here it is – four days later and I see where my account was really given the “hightest priority.” roflmao! There is a way to bypass their stupid added screen – but you have to go thru SIX different screens to get to your inbox! So now I have to go thru the tedious job of clearing out an account that I have had for years – and transfer things over to a new email that I have set up. – dam you Hotmail.
Anyway – I want to bring up some old business from January 2013 about Joan Wheeler. I blogged about the topic of hacked accounts in my blog post of January 14, 2013 – “Joan Wheeler falsely accuses me of something I didn’t do – YET AGAIN – this time of hacking into somebody’s Twitter account”
Here is a couple of sentences from that blog post:
A couple of weeks ago, a woman who follows Joan or is followed by Joan on twitter, had her account hacked. The hacker then sent a spam to Joan Wheeler via a direct Twitter message.
Joan then says on Twitter to this woman, S.Y. – Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily to @slyoung50 Hi! Received a Direct Mess from you about a link; it was spam. I s your accounthacked? IF you get spammed by my sisters, tell me”
See, whenever something goes wrong in Joan’s life – SHE AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMES IT WAS ME THEN GOES PUBLIC WITH HER STUPID RIDICULOUS ASSUMPTIONS AND ACCUSES ME OF SHIT I DIDN’T DO!
In contrast, when I first began having problems with my email, and was frightened that my email had been hacked – I contacted microsoft (who oversees hotmail and outlook email services) to report the problem and request assistance. I DID NOT FALSELY ACCUSE ANYONE OF HACKING INTO MY ACCOUNT. – by the way, the title of this blog post is for shock value and to get your attention. I know damn well Joan did NOT hack into my email – but I want her to know what it feels like to be minding your own business and then find out you’ve been accused of doing something you didn’t do. – I mean, I’ll be sleeping and when I wake up, I go on the internet and find out that I did this or that – WHILE I’VE BEEN SLEEPING.
Gods, I wish someone would cut Joan’s tongue out cut off her hands so she can’t type – I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF BEING ACCUSED OF DOING THINGS I HAVEN’T DONE. – Joan – just shut your fucking mouth!
Gert here… like the title of this post! Shock value has a purpose! If Joan can do so can we! Joan has this nasty habit of accusing people of things they never dreamed of doing! The last time I spoke with Joan, via phone, was sometime in 2005 or so, BECAUSE I wanted to end the negative feelings between us. I didn’t have her phone #, I asked my father to phone her! She spoke nicely to me, told me about her life etc, said she LOVED me. But…it was all an act on her part. In the libelous book she wrote and published in Dec 2009 she said that I WAS FISHING FOR INFORMATION FROM HER and how DISGUSTED she was that I called her AND how SHE KNEW BETTER THAN TO TRUST ME. Yep, watch out if you have ANY kind of dealings with Joan Wheeler…she makes shit up in her head!
lol. right Gert – I remember the time she went after our cousin Ray – she went to have her windshield fixed and the two of them got to talking and Ray invited her to his house for dinner (because she’s his long-lost cousin, that sort of thing). Well, when his aunt, our cousin Gail, found out – she told Ray all the harassments that Joan was doing to me and her and basically told Ray to stay away from Joan. And he started distancing himself from Joan. Now, I’m getting on with MY life, and I’m not knowing a dam thing as to what the hell was going on – and all of a sudden, I get this fucking letter from Joan (what part of DO NOT CONTACT ME JOAN, didn’t she get?) – anyway, in this letter she says, “I know that you and Gail and Ray and Fran are plotting against me.” I’m thinking “what the hell is this about? I haven’t seen Ray for YEARS! And with both Gail and me working night shift, I haven’t talked to Gail for a long time. So I call Fran up and tell her to come over. We’re eating lunch, and I’m reading Fran this stupid ridiculous letter – and when I got to the part that she’s been named as a co-conspirator, she actually choked on her food – and when she could talk, she said, “but — but — I never even met your cousin Ray.” This is what Gert means when she says about Joan: “She makes shit up in her head.” PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE – WOULD SOMEBODY PERFORM A LOBOTOMY ON JOAN WHEELER????
And what was the outcome of Ray’s distancing himself from Joan – she went after him – she called his boss and lied that he did a bad job on her windshield – she LIED TO HIS BOSS TO GET HIM IN TROUBLE ON HIS JOB! JUST LIKE SHE’S BEEN DOING TO ME – SHE HAS CALLED MY JOB SEVERAL TIMES WITH FALSE ACCUSATIONS AND LIES IN EFFORTS TO GET ME FIRED. JOAN WHEELER IS A FLAT-OUT BITCH, TROUBLEMAKER AND A LIAR AND ONE DAY HER SHIT IS GOING TO COME TO HER AND GET HER.
Lesson for Joan Wheeler – lying about people won’t make you happy. February 7, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, LIBEL, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths
It’s impossible to build one’s own happiness on the unhappiness of others.
So true. So what did you think to accomplish when you published that filthy book full of lies Joan? Yes, you accomplished SOMETHING – you hurt me again and again. Every time I turned a page and read another filthy lie about me – I actually was walking in circles in my kitchen crying when I read your twisting of facts, your put-downs of me being a prospective mother, your disgusting stabbing me in the back twenty years after I got over the initial anger of your dirty deeds to me -
BUT what else did it get you? Your biggest dream (actually an unrealistic fantasy) was that your book was going to be a million dollar best seller and either a TV movie or a Hollywood blockbuster book was going to made of your book – and you would be set for life.
And because you blatantly lied about events in MY life – and I had documented proof of those lies (actual police and court documents, your own harassing letters to me and the envelopes they came in) – YOUR LIES WERE EXPOSED.
Proof of your lies – libel – was sent to the publisher and your book was pulled.
You said once on an internet forum, about two years, ago, that you “wasted 30 years of my life writing a book.” That’s right honey, you did. But you got part of that wrong – you didn’t waste 30 years of your life writing a book – you wasted 30 years of your life TRYING TO KILL OTHER PEOPLE’S HAPPINESS!
What did you think to accomplish when you were harassing me? Did you honestly think my relationship with John would go down the tubes when you sent that lying letter to me saying he got the next door neighbor pregnant? What really happened is that when I showed him the letter – he was disgusted with you. You always claimed you honored him as friend. HA! Well that’s one friend who hates you now.
What did you think to accomplish when you repeatedly called my job in 1994-95 with false accusations of me? And did it again in November 2012? Did you really think I would get fired? – HA! Not only was I NOT fired (because I am innocent of your bullshit lies), but my job now knows you as a freak – a crackpot who has nothing better to do with her time than lie about innocent people.
One other thing that was accomplished Joan – when the truth of your lies were exposed by this blog and Gert’s blog – YOUR REPUTATION IN THE ADOPTION REFORM ACTIVIST COMMUNITY IS NOW SEVERELY COMPROMISED.
And you have only yourself to blame. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you pick up the phone and call my job. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you sent me that lying letter about John. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you type out all those lies in your book.
YOU DID ALL THAT BY YOURSELF. ARE YOU HAPPY JOAN? NO? aww, too bad.
Gert here…yep…Joan’s lies and dirty deeds have become apparent to even those in the adoption reform movement! TRUTH always out wins lies! Joan should have learned how to ‘bury the bodies’ when she decided to KILL HER KIN FOLK! Oh sure, she led a great charge against her kin, when we first learned of her, 30 years in the making, masterpiece! Where’s all those angry adoptees today? Not by Joan’s side. There been a couple of new books on the adoption topics these days and none of them INCLUDE Joan Wheeler! Even the most vocal of the activists do not want to share the printed venue with Joan! She’s now trying to break into a new field…online therapy! Yep! good luck on that!
Gert here again… I was just reading some blog posts and found a comment that Joan left about Joe Soll! Okay Joe just FOUND his mother! Great news, that’s nice for him, but Joan, takes any opportunity for someone else’s spot light to pour out her bullshit that means nothing! In that lying book Joan wrote she USED Joe Soll. I had email exchange with the man and he DENIED what she wrote in the book, we have blogged about this…YET Joan acts as if she is CLEAN… here’s the comment she left…with ALL HER usual misspellings, she can’t even honor her friends with checking her spelling! Her sweetness makes me want to puke! Anyone who can do shit, like she did to her own KIN, and then speak false sweetness and false ‘peace’ to strangers, only proves to the world what a fool she is.
@forbiddenfamily · 2 weeks ago Back then, in the late 80s, Jow began organizing the Marches on Washington. I was there fro three of them. Saddens me that he could have met his mother at the time. So sorry for that loss. But very happy indeed for the wonderful news of NOW! releived for the man who helped so many of us. Knowing you, dear friend, has meant so much for me. May you now know some inner peace.
and have you ever noticed that Joan always talks about the 70s, 80s, 90s she is a HAS BEEN! She has DONE NOTHING IN RECENT HISTORY or currently, cause she’s a liar!
In this post – we show Mr. Joe Soll’s email to Gert, in which he says “I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/”
AdoptionHealing.com – AdoptionCrossroads.org – EvilExchange.com” To: Gert Mcqueen Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM Subject: Re: fact finding request, please I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.
here is Joe’s entire email, in which he had copied and pasted Gert’s question and provided an answer:
From: “Joe Soll, LCSW – AdoptionHealing.com – AdoptionCrossroads.org – EvilExchange.com” To: Gert Mcqueen
Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM Subject: Re: fact finding request, please
I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.
Also, in her book, Joan relays a phone conversation with you, pg 311, regarding these alleged letters in which she writes that you did indeed receive them and that you had spoken with Joan about them
(Joe answers): This is patently false.
If you do not have access to her book, but wish to see the pages I am referring, I would gladly snail you copies if you would provide me an address. My sisters and I would greatly apprecitate it if you could shed light on this for us and yourself.
(Joe answers): I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/
Feel free to contact me further
Be well, 조살
So, MISS BIG-SHOT ADOPTION REFORMER JOAN WHEELER, WHO FANTASIZED THAT HER BOOK WAS GOING TO BE A REVOLUTION IN THE ADOPTION REFORM COMMUNITY DOESN’T EVEN GET HER BOOK SEEN BY ONE OF THOSE ADOPTION EXPERTS!
to reiterate what Mr. Joe Soll said about her book:
“I do not need to see the book,”
that means, that when he sent that email, May 2010, he had not seen the book yet, nor would he ever, because he was made aware that Joan LIED about him in the book. And he will NEVER see it, because it is dead – having been pulled from publication because of the LIES Joan put in it.
Joan Wheeler deserves NO respect – because she gives no respect February 6, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, dishonesty, emotional abuse, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, stupidity, theft
If you want the details of Joan stealing money from me – see this post:
After Joan stole the money from me, the bitch says to me on the phone: “money shouldn’t come between sisters.”
Um, bitch –
THEFT IS WHAT CAME BETWEEN US –
LACK OF RESPECT OF RUTH IS WHAT CAME BETWEEN US
LYING TO AND ABOUT RUTH IS WHAT CAME BETWEEN US.
FUCK YOU JOAN WHEELER – ROT IN HELL.
now go whine to your adoptee buddies how I swear at you on my blog. And how “innocent” you are. How do you sleep at night bitch?
Gert here…Joan is a first class hypocrite. She’s apparently trying to impress a new crowd as she ventures into the realm of on-line therapy! But, she can NEVER remove her past from her presence! There’s a lot of things that ‘shouldn’t come between sisters’…like her VIOLATING my parental rights, like VIOLATING my children’s trust in their parents, like her reporting false child abuse on me, like her seeing my religious is damaging my mental health, like her attempting to instigate trouble between myself and other family members, like her asking my adult daughter to commit a crime, like her saying to me she ‘loves me’ all the while knowing how she was going to write about that phone call in the book, and like her WRITING a 600 page book of lies against EVERY MEMBER OF THE BIRTH FAMILY. Yep, Joan is right…THINGS should not come between sisters…she isn’t a sister of ours.
A personal message to Joan Wheeler from her sister, Ruth Pace January 15, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
from my “What is demanded of Joan Wheeler:”
- Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.
- Falsely accusing Ruth of having a criminal record and being placed on probation.
- Falsely accusing Ruth of calling child abuse on Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. In the book, she lists it as happening in 1993, on the internet in May and September 2010, she lists it as 1996. – (only a liar can’t keep dates straight – I have scanned and posted an actual letter sent by Joan dated December 1994 to New York State Child Abuse authorities and in it she states the call was made Dec. 1994. Why are there 3 different years listed by Joan in this letter, in her book, and on the internet?
- Falsely asserting that there was a 3 month court battle in the spring of 1994 over this child abuse call. (which according to her letter didn’t occur until months later, and on the internet, years later). There was never a 3 month court battle between Joan and Ruth. and again, why does she keep mixing up the date of the call? Perhaps because she keeps lying about it.
- Falsely accusing Ruth of hacking into computers where Ruth works and tampering with Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill in late 1994.
- For six months of almost daily phone calls placed to Ruth’s place of employment for the purpose of Ruth losing her job. This was AFTER Ruth’s employer’s investigated Joan’s complaint in the fall of 1994, determined that Ruth was innocent, informed Joan of this, yet Joan continued into the spring of 1995 with calling various departments in the hospital and falsely informing them that Ruth did tamper with her bill.
- Falsely asserting that Ms. Wheeler has had “multiple orders of protection” against the 3 Sippel Sisters.
- Falsely asserting that the one and only Order of Protection Ms. Wheeler ever received (against Ruth) was for one year, when in reality it was for 6 months.
- Falsely asserting that the 3 Sippel Sisters repeatedly interfere with Ms. Wheeler’s life and harass her.
- For using our picture on the back cover of her book without our permission. The book is used for monetary gain, therefore, Ms. Wheeler is making money from our likeness.
- For writing letters to Anthony J. Masiello, when he was mayor of the city of Buffalo and other elected officials, giving them personal and private details of Ruth’s life, thereby invading Ruth’s privacy.
- For stealing Kathy’s money and belongings in 1993.
- For stealing Ruth’s money in 1990 and the bead trim off the wedding dress of our mother, which was Ruth’s property.
- An apology and explanation that Ms. Wheeler lied to Professor Rene Hoksbergen, and asked him to interfere with Kathy’s life in 1993, thereby invading Kathy’s privacy.
- For all lies and misrepresentations that are contained in the book and on her website.
thank you Joan – for taking the love I once had for you and killing it. And don’t worry about looking at ME in the eye – worry about looking at YOURSELF in the mirror – for what you’ve done to me, to our other sisters, and our whole family.
a comment I have on another website that is awaiting approval: Joan Wheeler says: “Too many people had power over me when I was growing up. What do you do when an entire networkk of adoptive family and natural family conspire against you as the adoptee who is never supposed to know the truth?”
oh for crying out loud. What entire network conspired against her? My mother died, leaving behind 5 little kids, ranging in age from 3 months old to 9 years. My father relinquished Joan to adoption. My maternal aunt had a childhood friend whose brother and his wife could not have children. My aunt suggested this couple to my father. Conspiracy? I suppose so you could call it that, but I call it giving a home to a baby that could not be cared for. Network? Again, I suppose you could call it that. I call it a group of people who were looking out for a baby and providing a home for it. At least she wasn’t placed on a mountainside and left to die of exposure.
Things can be perceived differently by people, depending on their circumstances. If Ms. Wheeler wants to beleive that people “conspired” against her, that is her right. I just wish she would hold to what she writes. ” … am not supposed to be hurt? To be angry? Not supposed to speak out against the wrongs committed?”
Too many wrongs were committed to me and I speak out against them in my blog. Ms. Wheeler objects to me writing about those wrongs and refuses to understand why I am hurt.
Ms. Wheeler continues on with her delusion that I, a birth sister, have deep emotional wounds because of my sister’s adoption. This is false. I have deep emotional wounds because after I opened my heart and life to her in 1974, she embarked on a campaign of hate and revenge against me. Harassments that continue to the present.
I have been accused of “not understanding the adoptee” and “not willing to learn” by people who do not have all the facts of my family’s situation, or of the full extent of the harassments and slanders that I have endured – all by someone I once loved.
I took the time back in the 70′s to understand, and all I got out of it was lies, false accusations to the police, calls to my employer with false accusations, lying letters about my husband sent to me. What did the author say above? “When he fought with me, he got attention. He knew enough about me, as my supposed friend, to know exactly how to hurt me. I don’t think I knew as much about myself in many ways. Sometimes it is the people who most want to hurt you who dig the fastest and deepest to your buried truths.”
Why does my own flesh and blood want to hurt me? Because in the deepest recesses of her heart, she is pissed that she was adopted, and I was not. Because as we grew older and married, her marriage faltered. My first one ended and I began a second. A letter telling me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant? This was only an attempt to break up a marriage. It didn’t.
Perception is in the eye of the beholder. I perceive my own flesh and blood as a bitter woman, lashing out at everyone who ever “conspired” against her when she was a baby. I have been accused of stalking her for her entire life. Which would be impossible, as I was only 3 years old when she was born, and didn’t know her name or where was she was until I was 16. Even then, my siblings and I waited until she was of legal age to contact her. Which she was very happy when we did. I have been accused of violating her directive of staying out of her life 40 years ago. Which would also be impossible as only 31 years ago, I was one of her chosen bridesmaids and 28 years ago, I was the one who drove her and her new baby daughter home from the hospital. I do not understand why a person who boasts of her “college degrees’ can continuously mix up and falsely report data like this. And most of her data contradicts itself from one venue to another.
If Ms. Wheeler’s perceptions of things are so skewed that she continues to report things falsely, and/or incorrectly and she gets called out on the carpet for those falsehoods, well, such is life.
Tags: abuse, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, embellishing the truth, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, misrepresenting one's credentials, misrepresenting one's employment, Narcissistic personality disorder, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity
What’s the REAL reason Joan Wheeler is going back to the boyfriend from New Mexico?
She says on twitter it’s because he needs her. And she wants to “save” him by getting him to the proper therapy. Oh yeah, right. Like she knows what the proper therapy is. She’s been in therapy for more than 30 years and it hasn’t worked on her.
She also devoted a whole chapter in her stupid book on another abusive boyfriend – she was terrorized to be with him because he was violent – yet she stayed with him because she was trying to “save him from his drinking problems and get him into the proper therapy.” Sound familiar? That was back in 2007 and she failed with him. AND despite him saying specifically to her that he did not want to be in her book, she put him in it as a revenge. AFTER her attempts to save him failed.
So she’s got another guy to save? BULLSHIT. She’s the one who NEEDS him!
In the early fall of 2012, she was on the internet whining that she needed to find a boarder to “save her house from foreclosure.” She found one. He lasted two weeks. The guy actually contacted me via facebook private message to tell me that she is nuts. (thanks, man, I know that already).
So fast forward to the other day, she tweets that a “friend” of hers, “C.” is facing homelessness, and she took her downtown to apply for HEAP. um, BULLSHIT! If you’re facing homelessness, you don’t need HEAP – HEAP helps pay your HOME’S heating bill. If you’re not going to have a HOME, you ain’t gonna need it.
Last night, while she’s tweeting about the latest chapter in The Joni Soap Opera, she’s asking people to keep “C.” in their prayers.
UM, JOAN – YOU GOT THAT BIG HOUSE TO YOURSELF – WHY DON’T YOU PROVIDE “C.” WITH A HOME???? You’re so smart as to how the system works – big ass social worker that you are – you know what programs she can apply for. And YOU can get help for your mortgage and save your house from being foreclosed.
Listen, people, there is no “C.” – it is Joan herself who is facing homelessness. That’s why she NEEDS the boyfriend. So that his SS check can help pay her mortgage. Just last week, she’s bitching about him being a creep, a drunk, a convicted drunk driver, she spent 5 days in a homeless shelter in Taos, New Mexico while he was in jail over the summer, he’s a stalker, a cyberstalker and cyberbully – he showed violent tendencies while she was with him – and now all of a sudden, she’s wanting to resume their relationship so she can find the proper therapy for him. What she’s trying to do is convince him to come back to Buffalo, move in with her, and use his check to pay her mortgage.
How do I know this? Because she stole hundreds of dollars from me in 1989, and tried to extort $$$ from another sister in 1992. She’s a user and an abuser. This guy would do well to stay the hell away from her. She can’t help him – she’s so messed up in her own head she can’t help even help herself! She’s a manic depressive! She’s never held a job for even ONE DAY as a social worker. She’s a sociopath and a psychopath. She needs to be committed.
*if anyone reading this is wondering how do I dare write about Joan’s personal life – Joan wrote a filthy slanderous book with things in it about MY personal life – and lied about it. As to why I’m writing about this boyfriend, if anyone is thinking how is this my business? – Joan MADE it my business when she brought him to Family Court in July 2013 when I had her in court for harassment charges. She MADE him my business when she brought him to my godmother’s wake and funeral and she MADE him my business when she was tweeting about he isn’t on twitter but I am and I am “cyberstalking” her like he is.
Gert here! right on Ruth…what this guy NEEDS to do is READ a copy of Joan’s book, I’m sure she’s got a copy there! He needs to read what Joan has said and done to other boyfriends she’s tried to save! Or better yet, this guy ought to read our blogs, for we not only tell the truth we QUOTE Joan’s words. Joan also tried in 2009 to get our father to; paid for her car repairs and publish the book! I just placed a blog post about this stuff YESTERDAY! Our father’s widow told me that when Joan was ‘taking’ her grocery shopping, Joan would put items in the cart that SHE WANTED and NEVER offered to pay for them. She told step-mother, she didn’t have money. Finally, they refused to allow Joan to take them shopping, Ruth is also correct about HEAP, no address, no money! And at this time of the year, unless there is an emergency HEAP’s money is GONE. And who is the male friend of Joan’s that had to fly in cold weather? Is it the same friend who spend weekend ‘relaxing’ with Joan, as she told on twitter? doesn’t she KNOW that you don’t put your private shit on the internet? what if the guy in NM finds out? Oh I forgot, she doesn’t want me near her! sure, right! mark my words… he’ll get in a program and swear that he’ll behave himself and she’ll allow him to visit and help around the house and then before you know it…HE is paying for her and her house…fools!!
Tags: blaming Ruth for everything, false accusations, stupidity
So last evening, (January 3, 2013) there was some busted pipes near Joan Wheeler’s house – she tweeted that. On my facebook news feed I found a link to the news story. Cos I’m facebook “friends” with my favorite local news channel.
I shared the picture and story on my facebook and got a couple of comments from my sister Gert and two of my cousins. They know how Joan has to blame anything that happens to her shitty life on ME. I mean, she’ll get a flat tire and blame me – never mind that I might be under anesthesia having surgery – it’s Ruth’s fault. No matter what – it’s Ruth’s fault. and yeah, I started watching Channel 4 news back in the 70’s because I “knew” one day, this was going to happen. I just knew way back around 1975 or 1976, that subscribing to the news feed of Channel 4 on facebook would be a great way to “stalk” Joan Wheeler.
oh and by the way – Joan’s website went down. I better come clean and admit it – I CAUSED THAT TOO! Well, not exactly, but I guess I did in a round-about way. See, what happened, I installed my favorite game Jewel Quest on my newest laptop – from my external hard drive. And while I was playing the game, the enemy forces who were preventing me from lining up three jewels in a row and clearing the board initiated a hoodoo hex spell. The spirit of the game, an unprounanceable Aztec name, rose up out of my computer and traveled to the webhost’s server that stores Joan’s website and blew it up.
Gert Mcqueen karma…
Michelle Herr Rupert She did it ….lol
Debbie N Dave Steger Careful Ruth you might get blamed, you know how everything that happens to her that its someone else’s fault, namely RUTH…..
Ruth Herr Sippel Pace dammit, I got found out. shit, well, I might as well admit it – I CAUSED THIS. I went over to her street – and in this cold weather – and armed with my trusty snow shovel, dug thru the pavement and busted the pipes. THEN I covered everything up so no one would know. and I did a real fine job of repaving the street too. I used a mixture of Super Glue, bubble gum and tinfoil. After all, I AM the daughter of a civil engineer who worked for the City of Buffalo in the Streets Paving Department – I learned at a young age how to dig a hole in the pavement and cover it back up so no one could tell.
additional: I am so good at causing Joan Wheeler trouble. I mean, I can dig up her street with no noise. I can create havoc during a funeral while I’m sleeping (last April, when my cousin’s husband died). I can tamper with her hospital bill with a computer that is NOT connected in any way to the billing computers at my job – see what happened there was – In 1994 her bill got mixed up with another patient’s – who had a name similar to Joan. She called my job and accused me of it. They investigated and traced it to a typo that happened at 4pm. When I am not in the building. But she “knew” I had done it. The hospital knew damn well I didn’t do it, but they were wrong. See, I mentally used my super secret ESP powers and MADE the billing clerk mix up the bills. I’m so clever in the things I do. – and by the way, in regards to this incident, Joan contacted my niece who worked for Medicare, and asked her to BREAK THE LAW and look up the other woman’s medical records. My niece refused.
It is amazing the things I can do.