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2ND edition of Forbidden Family? If it contains ONE lie, I’ll see you in court Joan Wheeler November 12, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In recent months, Joan Wheeler has been working on a “second edition” of her “autobiography” Forbidden Family.

The first edition was yanked from publication because of the serious LEGAL problems with it – slander and libel; unauthorized use of somebody’s picture. Her lame attempt to disguise my name, while publishing her own adoptive and birth name, my mother’s real name, my father’s real last name and publishing the name of a publication and an article (written by Joan in the early 1990’s) that had my real name in it. Much of the first chapter of her book was taken from this article.

Joan writes on her website that her book is “truthful.” Yet her book contains bold-faced lies. Lies that are proven as such by actual Buffalo City Court documents, and hand-written letters by Joan herself.

The court documents were sent to Trafford Publications and in May 2011, Trafford’s legal department ruled that Joan VIOLATED her contract with them: mainly that she said her “truthful” book was the truth and that she was the sole copyright of the book and all it’s content. Since my documentation proved she committed libel and used my photograph without my knowledge or consent, her book was pulled.

I cannot believe that Joan’s second edition will be an improvement. Because if she changes anything, it will contradict her statement that the first edition is “truthful.” Because the truth can NOT be changed. Anybody who thinks the truth is changeable is an out and out asshole.

Does Joan think her second book is going to pass my scrutiny? Because if I find even ONE lie in it about me, I will be suing her ass. And I will view any further lies as an act of harassment against me, and I will file harassment charges against her again.

And now I have a foot in the court door Joan – you may have gotten away with calling my job with false accusations about computer fraud because the judge basically pooh-poohed it. (July, 2013). But this time honey – the proof will be on the pages of your lying book. I WILL SEE YOU IN COURT JOAN WHEELER! AND THAT’S THE TRUTH.

1. gertmcqueen

gert here…and I SECOND this! Any and all materials that Joan Wheeler writes about OUR FAMILY will be looked at with a fine-tooth comb and magnifying glass! We OWN that first libelous book and we will OWN anything else that she writes that is not 100 percent truth…NOT HER VIEWPOINT but the truth. A person does not get the right to write anything, from their point of view, their feelings, etc, against REALITY AND TRUTH. so be VERY VERY CAREFUL JOAN WHEELER.

 2. Ruth

Joan certainly is a glutton for punishment. If she is looking for a beatdown, then she’s got it. And that is no threat to any physical beating – it is not a threat at all. It is a PROMISE – of a legal beat down and this time, I will sue her for everything she has – I will own her house. And once I do – I will evict her. She tried in the past to destroy my life – my career – my marriage – and she failed every time. She even failed in her last attempt to fuck me on my job – because stupid bitch forgot that my employer’s computer security team could check what I do. Her stupid and false accusation of computer fraud and misuse (November 2012) was checked and I was found innocent.

Make no mistake Joan – I own you. And you gave yourself to me with your ridiculous lies and schemes.

from facebook:

Gert Mcqueen – her sugar-daddy must have some kind of influence/$$ for her to think that she can get another book on us

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace – don’t know about that – all I can see is her fucking delusions surfacing again. SHE is going to put out HER book and to hell with us. That’s how she is thinking. But this is going to blow up in her face.

that book has nothing to do with adoption reform at all – her motive for it, was the intentional trashing of anyone in her life that ever pissed her off. Her continued attempts to fuck with me – calling my job repeatedly in 1994-95, calling child abuse on herself, posing as me, writing letters to John at his mom’s house telling him to leave me – are all indicative of this. She hates me and her book is nothing but a way to get at me. But she has failed and this is another example of her mental illness.

Gert Mcqueen – her delusions are surfacing because she’s got a sugar-daddy! personally I’m not too concerned about this cause I know that I’M NOT DONE EXPOSING EVERYTHING I have on her…in fact I got to finish up a draft to get it on the blog…tonight! She not only has delusions, she is delusional…NO PUBLISHER will print from her…and unless she’s willing to really self-publish it ain’t going to get done, but then again, if she did self-publish it…the range of media EXPOSURE from us will still do the same as we did already.

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace – exactly Gert – even if she cons another publisher, that publisher will hear from us – and the outcome will be the same as it was for the first book – the complete pulling of the book. Amazon.com already knows about the “problems” with this author – and any website that would carry it will be notified that the book is libelous. Any publisher will also be held liable by me for publishing any lie about me – I stand to make a lot in monetary damages.

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace  – as to the sugar daddy – I think he may be gone – because her attention seems to be focused on me and bitch Laura is feeding her shit. That’s all right. Laura is an ass – is inconsequential to me, and I dismiss that little child.

3. RuthNovember 12, 2013

I want to extend a hearty thank you to Joan – for her stupidly handing me this to me on a silver platter.
Joan, you foolish child – by calling my job in November 2012 with a false accusation of computer fraud/misuse, you gave me the opportunity to file charges on you.
The judge pooh-poohed it because he thought it was silly nonsense. However, the publication of a libelous book is a different matter.
Many people who put out libelous material get sued. Your continued lying about me will show the judge that you are, and have been engaged in a smear campaign against me and my reputation. Your admission to calling my job back in 1994-95 and the letter that I have that you wrote to Mr. Peter S. (then director of patient accounts) will show that you have indeed been engaged in a 20 year smear campaign against me.

The judge dismissed my charges against you in July 2013. BUT if you publish a book after that date, that contains lies about me, my lawyer and I will be able to show the judge that you are still harassing me in print.

Hold on your socks and pull!

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Oh NO! Gert and I are collecting movies on DVD! Quick now, throw us in jail, Joan Wheeler! November 6, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Oh NO! Gert and I are collecting movies on DVD! Quick now, throw us in jail, Joan Wheeler!

On page 302 of her filthy lying book, Joan Wheeler condemns me for “collecting movies.” She uses it in the context that because I didn’t have kids I was using my own money on other things. But she said it in a very rotten way. “It’s a good thing she didn’t have any children.”

Yes, at the time, I would go to the store and buy a pack of VCR tapes and tape movies off the TV. However, at that time, I had also acquired an adult dog- DOG, not cat, Joan. Her name was Brandy, three years old, a 65 pound Siberian Husky/Alaskan Malamute mix. We got her from some neighbor friends who were breaking up.

Despite my hobby of “collecting movies,” I spent over $100.00 on a dog house for my Brandy. I didn’t have a car at the time. I ordered it through the JC Penney catalog and had it delivered to my house – at extra cost for that delivery. It was so cute – a snap-together resin plastic dog house, terra cotta in color with a green roof – shaped like a log cabin with a slate roof.

Excuse me Joan – who the hell are YOU to make a comment on how I spend MY money? Money that I earn by busting my ass on something called A JOB! – Something YOU were too lazy to get. ALSO,  I showed that despite my hobby of collecting movies, I was a responsible dog parent in providing the best of care for her. I took better care of her than her previous owners, who fed her commercial food for pet rodents (hamster food) with kitchen grease poured on it. Within two months, Brandy’s coat thickened and shone right up. Other neighbors noticed it and complimented me. I also bought toys for her, she got the best medical care too when she needed it – she was up all the time on her shots.

O, but in September 1986 – Joan spent money on tickets to see The Monkees when they appeared in Buffalo. Never mind she had already seen them in July 1986. But she simply had to see them a second time. Then a week later, she’s on the phone with me, crying – her electricity was getting shut off. Now they don’t shut your electricity off unless you haven’t paid it for a few months. And here is Joan, with a one year old son at home, 8 months pregnant with her daughter – and instead of paying the electric bill to provide for her child(ren) she goes to a rock concert. AND HAS THE NERVE TO WRITE IN HER FILTHY BOOK THAT I WOULD NOT BE A GOOD PARENT BECAUSE I BOUGHT BLANK VCR TAPES??? TALK ABOUT A HYPOCRITICAL BITCH!

In 2001, when Peter Jackson’s film version of the first installment of The Lord of the Rings came out, I made the switch to DVDs. I picked up a good player and have been buying DVDs ever since. I have the complete TV series of Star Trek, (original), The Animated Series, and Enterprise. Missing only one of the movies, missing only one season of ST Voyager, and have two seasons of Deep Space Nine and three seasons of ST The Next Generation.

I also have the complete TV series of Superman, Remington Steele, The Flash, Alien Nation, Buck Rogers, Earth 2, and some of The West Wing, The Paper Chase, Hill Street Blues, Fame. And the first four seasons of Ghost Hunters. I also pre-ordered (and paid for) via one of the cast members – the last season of Ghost Hunters International, which will be autographed by a couple of the cast members.

I also have the mini series Roots, Roots 2, Brideshead Revisited, Shaka Zulu, Captains and the Kings, Cosmos, Centennial, Shogun, The First Churchills. And movies! – I have gotten lots of movies, and music DVDs. And even got a music DVD that I ordered thru and he autographed for me – from my long time crush Jon Anderson of Yes. And my husband John is building up his collection too!

Well, lately, since she is now retired, Gert has been collecting DVD movies. She always enjoyed watching Star Trek, but was busy with her kids to really sit down and watch it. She recently went out and got all three season of the original series and a set of all the Star Trek movies.

From yesterday (November 5, 2013) to this morning – we were having a conversation on facebook, concerning the new fan-made Star Trek series, “Star Trek Continues.” This most excellent series just wrapped up principal photography on their second episode. Their first episode “Pilgrim of Eternity” is available for viewing on youtube. It is very good. Gert was telling me that she wanted to get through the DVDs that she already bought before she got into this series.

My last comment in our conversation is here and sums up what I truly believe was (and is) Joan’s motive in constantly putting me down for MY own life and financial decisions – JEALOUSY, PURE JEALOUSY! She looks at me, even though I have my own day-to-day struggles, and sees that I have direction and meaning in my life. HER own life has no meaning or direction.

Here is my last comment to Gert on facebook:

“oh no! just thought of something! You and I are “collecting movies!” – Better hide that info from the Nameless One, lest she condemn us for it – as she condemned me for collecting movies (particularly horror) in her book. Seems to me she was letting her f’ing jealousy come out in that condemnation. SHE had no job (lazy ass), HER husband was not bringing in the $$$ like John was, John and I didn’t have kids to suck up all our $$$, so whatever John and I were using our own hard-earned $$$ was automatically condemned by her.”

1. gertmcqueen

yep Joan spend decades writing about what the birth sisters did or didn’t do…like she’s in our minds…I thought that Joan wrote/writes about HER ADOPTION so why is it that she KNOWS what is right/best/wrong with us or anyone else…Joan is just a little god looking for a following! Sorry I’m the star of MY MOVIE and no one gets to write lies about me and get away with it

 2. Ruth

oh absolutely Gert – that book has hardly ANY thing on her own life – but a lot of observations on OUR lives – particularly mine.

3. Ruth

Joan calls me Brenda in her book. Almost every other page is “BRENDA this, BRENDA that.” Was it a book for bitching about BRENDA (me) or a book about JOAN and her adoption.

4. Ruth

Oh – I just had a memory flash! Somewhere in her stupid book, and I don’t feel like looking for the exact page right now, Joan also condemned me for whining that I didn’t have my own computer with internet at home. NOPE, I never whined. I had told her in 2003/2004 that I did not have a computer at home and relied on public computers in libraries. I could not afford to buy a home computer because I was paying a mortgage. I was (and still am) a responsible property owner. The mortgage and taxes get paid first. Then the utilities, then the car note and car insurance and then credit card bills and other bills. Then come groceries, prescriptions, food and supplies for my cat, cleaning supplies and other household goods. After all of that – THEN I’ll pick up a DVD.

My mortgage was paid off in March 2006. In June 2006, I bought my first home computer, printer, and obtained internet service. John and I also got our first cell phones at that time. In 2009, our roof sprung a leak, and we needed a total tear-off and new roof. We financed a second mortgage to pay for the new roof. We also put on a new porch three years ago, we just replaced the storm windows in the front, and are doing interior work. In time, we will put on new siding.

My husband is retired now, but once a week, still goes into the Army/Navy Surplus Store to help out in the store, to keep active, and bring in a little extra cash. I still have my job, and we are both doing hands-on work on our house and property.

What anybody does with their own time, lives or money is nobody else’s damn business. For Joan to constantly be making comments on RUTH’S life, and RUTH’S possessions in her own book is a clear indication of what I said above – JOAN IS JEALOUS OF ME – pure and simple.

Believing things without evidence – a sin, or an act of stupidity? July 6, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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I added a graphic and additional comments at the end of this post. – 7-10-2013, 11:230am

I saw this meme on my facebook page. A quote from Aldous Huxley:

believe evidence or sin

I have posted on this blog, scanned documents and pictures that present the evidence that what I say is the truth and the facts concerning Joan Wheeler and her lies. She lied in her book Forbidden Family saying that I have a criminal record. NO, she took me to court in 1993 for annoyance phone calls and was granted a six-month order of protection against me, which was dismissed in February 1994 because I had not violated the order AT ALL – therefore, I have no criminal record. The order of protection was granted the day we were in court on August 9, 1993. Joan says in her book that the order was dated beginning on August 1, 1993. On July 31, 1993,  I went to her house – to see my fiancé as I had every legal right to do – and the order of protection was not in effect then – because we hadn’t even gotten to the court. Yet, Joan says when I came to get my fiancé, I was in violation of the order of protection. Joan also says the order of protection was for one year.

SEE END OF THIS POST FOR UPDATED INTO

I have posted on this blog the court order with the dates of August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. Joan’s idiot buddies, namely Russell Thomas and Brian Maloney refuse to even look at the graphic of the order of protection that prove that Joan lied in her book! Why? Because they are idiots. Brian even says that Joan has the right to tell her side of the story the way she wants. No sir, she does not. Not when her “version of the facts” slander someone else. Not when that book was touted as “the truth.” People thinking her book is the truth and read the lies she has told about me in that book will believe her slander. This is called ruining someone’s reputation.

Joan also wrote slanderous letters to elected officials, including the mayor of Buffalo and departments in the New York state government seat in Albany NY., saying that in August 1993, I was sentenced to six months probation! NO, it was a six months order of protection! What she told was a total falsehood and it was designed to give people, in the City of Buffalo government and New York State government the impression that I have a criminal record. This is wrong. It is disgusting. I have also posted the scanned document of the letter that Joan wrote to Albany NY on December 31, 1994.

For people to believe the lies that Joan Wheeler tells about me, without examining the evidence shows me that they are truly idiots of the highest degree.

To reiterate the question I put forth as the title of this blog post: “Believing things without evidence – a sin or an act of stupidity?” I would answer it by saying that it is both. And it is a sign of idiocy.

bitch bullshit

so you ARE an idiot when you refuse to examine the evidence. There is NO excuse for lying – Joan has no excuse for lying about me. Go see the dam court documents I posted on this blog – check the category black and white evidence of Joan Wheeler’s lies. There is nothing wrong in me defending myself against the lies she has told about me to Albany NY, State Senator Anthony Nanula, Mayor Anthony Masiello, MY JOB.

Also Russ – how do you explain your good friend Joan contacting my job in November 2012 with a false accusation against me? And then she brags about it on the internet? Don’t forget Joan and I have a court date on July 23, 2013 for her to answer her STALKING AND HARASSMENT and LYING TO MY EMPLOYER!

I don’t give a shit if you have a problem with me or Gert – because that shows us once again YOUR idiocy – instead of concerning yourself with me and Gert and what WE do – why aren’t you concerned about YOUR friend Joan and HER actions. Calling someone’s job with a lie about them – a lie designed to get them in trouble – is WRONG WRONG WRONG. – AND GROUNDS FOR LEGAL CHARGES TO HAVE BEEN PLACED AGAINST HER. WHICH I DID AND WE GO TO COURT IN TWO WEEKS.

If you and Brian are so concerned about your good friend Joan Wheeler – why the hell aren’t you telling her not to do things that land her in court? What kind of bullshit excuse do you have for your friend’s clearly anti-social action – of calling someone’s job with a lie, to get them fired? She did it back in 1994-95 and she even admits to doing it in her book! HOW do YOU justify your friend’s interference in my life 1994-95? How does anyone justify this clearly ILLEGAL activity? It does not matter what beef she has/had against me – it is against the law to call someone’s job with false accusations! She was told in 1994 by then Director of Patient Accounts, Mr. Peter S. that her accusation of me accessing her medical records was 1. unfounded and 2. impossible. Yet, she continued to call my employer to get me fired. She also send Mr. S. a 3 page letter, that contained personal medical information about ME. And then sent me a copy of that letter, along with the letters she sent to the Mayor and others – letters that contained MY personal medical information. These letters have all been scanned and posted to this blog.

Now she does it again. Refusing to believe that her actions are illegal, Joan Wheeler continues to interfere with my life. Only idiots think this is okay and get pissed at me, the victim of this lying interference of MY life, and only idiots dictate to me that I don’t have the right to defend myself against LIES told to my employer!

Now, this is getting redundant and stupid – Russell Thomas – get the f out of my life – lest YOU get legal charges placed against you for stalking and harassing me. Don’t forget – YOU started things with me. I have never met you – don’t want to meet you. I never heard of your name, yet the first contact I ever got from you – you called me a bitch. Won’t that look good on a police report? That YOU contacted a woman you don’t know and right away called her names.

Both you and Brian must have incredibly boring, lonely lives to concern yourself so much with me. Sorry – but I’m much to busy to fulfill whatever holes you losers have in your lives or psyches.

I was just over at facebook and there was a discussion about holding doors open – I said that people of both sexes should hold doors open for both sexes – it’s just polite manners. And then thank whoever holds a door open for them. Gert left a comment about younger people getting in your way and shoving. Which reminded me of something that happened to me – and I left this comment:
“a few years ago, when I was on day shift for my PCA training, I was getting on the bus around 7am. Some high school kids were getting on the bus and one big kid actually pushed me out of the way. I had my monthly bus pass out already. The kid in front of the kid who pushed me, was fumbling to get his pass out. The one who pushed me, showed the driver his pass. I’m coming up the steps and showed the driver my pass. Now, both me and the kid who pushed me were stuck – so I just went up the last step and shoved both of the kids out of MY way.
That’s right – a short older white lady with glasses shoved two big black dudes out of the way – sat down and glared at them, daring them to say something. They just looked at me, and kept on going.”

Now it is clear to me that Joan, Brian and Russ have absolutely NO manners at all. They also are stupid not to take heed and learn – that while I DO have manners – I also TAKE NO SHIT. from anyone.

UPDATE, August 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

Lies, bullying, false accusations, interfering with my life – recent activities and misdeeds of Joan Wheeler February 7, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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On Wednesday morning, February 6, I was on Twitter and saw a suggestion that Twitter put out – to follow motivational speaker  and life coach Anthony Robbins. Having purchased his original Personal Power program (and learning a great deal from it) back in the early 90’s – I am an admirer of Tony. So I “followed” him.

After John and I took care of some business downtown, had lunch and did some shopping, I came home and went to twitter and I find about 3 “life coaches” following me. So I blocked them and wrote the following tweets:

1. JUST BECAUSE I FOLLOWED TONY ROBINS DOES NOT MEAN I WANT EVERY LIFE COACH TO FOLLOW ME.- – just saying

2.  I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO BLOCK THOSE WHOM I DEEM OFFENSIVE OR SPAM. – just sayin’

Then the following tweets naturally flowed:

3. at least I didn’t automatically ASSUME that somebody hacked my account. – ARE YOU LISTENING JOAN WHEELER?

4. nor did I automatically ASSUME and FALSELY ACCUSE someone of doing something they didn’t do. – are we learning Joan Wheeler?

5. SICK + TIRED OF BEING FALSELY ACCUSED OF THINGS I DIDN’T DO-Joan Wheeler-get all the facts before you runs your mouth

6. SICK + TIRED OF BEING TOLD WHAT INTERNET SITES I CAN OR CANNOT JOIN. Joan Wheeler is NOT the internet god.

7. I STAND UP TO BULLIES AND LIARS. Don’t lie, and don’t bully me and we’ll get along just fine.

Lies and bullying – that’s what Joan Wheeler does best. Last month Joan was on a bullying streak and accusing me of things I didn’t do. From hacking into people’s Twitter accounts, to the crazy ASSUMPION and ACCUSATION that I started my twitter account “solely to stalk and harass” her. —  I really hate to bust her ego-bubble, but no, I joined Twitter because an fb friend of mine, a cast member of Ghost Hunters International on SyFy channel invited me to. One night/early morning in July 2012, he talked me through (via facebook) setting up my twitter account and he was my first twitter person to follow, and he was my first follower. I even wrote for my first tweet “well, this is my first tweet and I don’t know what to say.” And he wrote back “very well said Ruth.” Was I thinking of Joan during all that? oh hell no, I was thinking “how cool is this? A gorgeous hunk and cast member of a tv show is talking me thru setting up my twitter account.” – sorry Joan – Robb is just way more cuter than you.

So last month Joan also admitted to breaking the law! Just after Thanksgiving 2012, a letter arrived at my job – accusing me of computer fraud and calling from my job to set up phony appointments for her. This is not the first time she’s done that kind of crap. She’s been contacting my employer about me for bullshit personal reasons and false accusations before. And she’s posed as me on the phone before as well. And by the way – as in the past (1994 and 1995) and now in the present – my employer investigated me. Their computer security system is tight. They can monitor every keystroke I do. In 1994 and 1995 and in December 2012 – I WAS INVESTIGATED AND FOUND INNOCENT.

Then on Saturday, Jan. 26, a family member died. I didn’t know about it – I was working. (I work the overnight shift and sleep in the day and at 2:00am Tuesday I was injured slightly when an elevator dropped several floors and came to an abrupt halt, jarring me. (only muscle strains, thank goodness – a couple days of motrin, muscle relaxer, heating pads and Ben-Gay and I am OK!). After a visit to the ER and getting home at 4am – I go to bed and when I get up – here’s Joan speculating about me and accusing me again of doing something I didn’t do – using the death of a family member as a way to “bother her.” Then she starts her lies about my relationship with this “family group” saying crap like they don’t want me around – which is a laugh because they just invited me to, and I attended, a family get-together brunch on Dec. 23, 2012 – an event that JOAN was not wanted to be at and not invited to.

So I’m just waking up and drinking coffee to find out that while I’ve been sleeping I doing all these things. Things that are imagined and coming out of Joan’s bat-shit crazy head. So I call my cousin Nancy and ask who died in the family. Then I call another cousin to get all the details.

So here’s the thing: Joan is always yakking on the internet that she is not in my life, nor is she interfering with my life. Really? By writing a letter to my job she INTERFERED WITH MY LIFE. By her continous falsely accusing me of doing things I’m not doing, JOAN WHEELER IS INTERFERING WITH MY LIFE. By ASSUMING and ACCUSING me of joining Twitter just to “bother her” JOAN WHEELER IS BULLYING ME AND TRYING TO DICTATE TO ME WHAT INTERNET SOCIAL SITES I MAY JOIN.

By engaging in these activites, JOAN WHEELER IS ACTIVELY GETTING INVOLVED IN MY LIFE AND ACTIVELY HARMING ME WITH HER SLANDERS ABOUT ME ON THE INTERNET.

Now that she has written a letter to my job accusing me of something I didn’t do and admitting to that on public internet (on the Huffington Post) Joan can no longer whine and lie to her adoptee pals or whine to anybody in her life that she is NOT intefering with my life. — Because she just did.

and I just love how on Huffington she says that we all agreed to stay out of each other’s lives 30 years ago. Well 30 years ago takes us back to January 1983. But in May 1983, I was one of her bridesmaids.(which she admits to in her book). In 1985, she drove me home from the hospital after I suffered a miscarriage. In 1986, I drove her and her newborn daughter home form the hospital. (she doens’t mention these things in the book – because they were nice things about me).  — She does admit in the book that in the summers of 1988 and 1989, I and my fiancé John Pace were very close to Joan, her husband and their children. She mentions that because she wanted to show how close John was to her and was against me. (but somehow we got married and are still together). In the book she says in 1989 she borrowed money from me and I was angry because she didn’t have any money to repay me. Her twisted lies of what really happened: Joan and her ex-husband STOLE hundreds of dollars from me. She made promises to me to repay me, and then left a message on my answering machine saying me that she changed her mind about repaying me, (December 1989). I called her back and that I told her that I wanted nothing more to do with her and told her to get out of my life.

It was because of that theft and her refusal to admit that the theft hurt me that I turned my back on her. I still hadn’t turned my heart against her and tried several times throughout the years to reach out to her,and be nice to her-  even calling her on the phone in November 2009 to inform her of a family member’s death. For which I got repaid with a barrage of obscenties and her calling the police on me! And more lies! I received an email that our Aunt Doris had died. I called my father and told him. Knowing that he too had finally reached the end of the rope with Joan and he had kicked her out of his life some months before, I asked him if he still had Joan’s phone number. He said yes. I told him Joan should be told of Aunt Doris’ passing. I meant for HIM to call Joan. But he was tired, and told me to call Joan. So I did. And after yelling at me – she called him up and yelled at him – an 89 year old man! So how does Joan relate this on the internet? I’m going around asking family members (plural) to get her phone number to bother her.

But it was when that filthy book came out – with the slander that I have a criminal and arrest record – her mocking me being infertile and her mocking my miscarriage – my heart turned black against her. It is because of Joan’s conscious decisions to slander me, falsely accuse me of things I haven’t done, steal from me and lie about it, mock the death of my son, write me a letter telling me my husband got the next-door pregnant when that house was vacant,  and many other harassments – that I have finally removed her from my heart. In 1974, when we were re-united, I welcomed her into my life and my heart. I told her in December 1989 to get the hell out of my life and she refuses to do so. I have suffered now TWENTY-THREE YEARS OF HARASSMENT AND LIES FROM HER. It is Joan’s own actions and words that have killed any love I ever had for her or sympathy I ever had for her “traumas” suffered because of her adoption.

oh – one last word – remember – whenever Joan has ever said that Ruth did this, or Ruth did that – she has NEVER offered any proof! She likes to say that she’s had “mulitple orders or protection against me, dating from the 1980’s.” – but offers no proof. I, on the other hand, have offered ACTUAL COURT DOCUMENTS that proof what she says is a LIE. The one and only order of protection she ever got against me was for six months in 1993 – dated August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. She never got any restraining orders against any other family member. Joan and I have not been in court “multiple times” either. There were THREE cases – in 1993, 1995 and 1999.

Also in December 2004, I was behind in my property taxes due to loss of income when my husband had open heart surgery. My house was being foreclosed. I swallowed my pride and wrote Joan a nice letter to BEG her for money – she still owes me for all that money she stole from me in 1989. I asked her for even TEN lousy bucks. And she threw me to the curb! She had the nerve to file harassment charges against me. But the court refused to hear it because the letter was not threatening. But she reports that in early in 2005 the judge “dismissed the charges because the courts were tired of it all (the Joan-Ruth feud).

Wait til I get my scanner working again – and I will scan the paperwork from that incident as well!

Remember – what you read on this blog is the truth – and I back up what I say with actual court documents. Because my name is Ruth – put a T in front of it and what do you get – TRUTH.

here are the court documents that prove that Joan Wheeler is a liar January 17, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Scroll down to the end of this post to see the documents.

ALSO see updated info on end of this post

If Joan thinks that ACTUAL BUFFALO CITY COURT DOCUMENTS ARE NOT REAL – and she thinks that they don’t show the FACTS AND TRUTH behind the LIES that she said in that book and continues to spread on the internet: JOAN WHEELER IS SERIOUSLY MENTALLY ILL AND SHOULD BE COMMITTED.

I had posted on November 30, 2011, to this blog, the actual complaint that I sent to Trafford. See: “My complaint to Trafford Publications concerning the slander and libel contained in the book Forbidden Family by Joan WheelerNovember 30, 2011″ It’s a very long document. Because there was just so much shit in that book.

I sent copies (scanned) via mail, of the documents that supported what I said. It was a hard undertaking. Because in the book, Joan lumps together three separate court cases that we were involved in. The first one was in July – August 1993 that Joan had instituted over annoyance phone calls from me. That I made after she baited me into phoning her. She had already told the phone company that I was bothering her, had them install a phone trap (pre Caller-ID days) and then sent me a letter knowing I’d call her. I did, and she said “wait a minute” and hung up. I called back, she said something like she was having problems with the phone cord, hung up. I call again, CLICK. She then reported me for bothering her. And I got hauled into court. I got slapped with a six-month order of protection dated August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. That restraining order was listed as ACD – Adjournment on Condition of Dismissal – which means that at the end of the six months, if I had not done anything, the whole matter would be dropped – dismissed. No criminal record. And so it was. Despite her saying in the book that I violated the order of protection, (I did not) and that I have a criminal record. SEE DOCUMENT #1 BELOW.  Joan also wrote to Albany NY, child abuse center on Dec. 31, 1994 and falsely told them I was placed on probation – NO – IT WAS A RESTRAINING ORDER FOR THE DURATION OF SIX MONTHS – So we see how as far back as 1994 Joan has been saying that I have a criminal record when I do not. SEE DOCUMENT #2 BELOW.

People – don’t take my word for it. Or Joan’s – read the damn actual court document!

The second time we were in court – was because of the letter writing and phone calls she was making to my job and various elected officials, impugning my reputation. And she had the gall to send me copies of those letters. And I was getting blamed for a false child abuse call that I believe Joan made herself – to get ME in trouble. In February 1995 I filed a harassment charge on her. While waiting for the court date, Joan writes to MY fiance, via his mother’s house, asking him when he was leaving me. The judge dismissed the charges, saying “sisters should get along.” SEE DOCUMENTS #3 AND 4 BELOW.

See also DOCUMENT #7 BELOW – the letter written by Joan to my fiance John via his mother’s house, asking him if he was leaving me. – The whole child abuse call, was a set-up by Joan to break me and John up. She called child abuse on herself, using my name. She said “This is Ruth Sippel and Joan and her boyfriend John Pace are having sex in front of her kids.” – Now why would I call child abuse hotline, give out MY name, AND MY FIANCE’S NAME? I was living with the guy – why would I want him in jail? Does this make sense? (by the way, we bought our house in 1996 and got married in 2002 and are still going strong).

The next time we were in court was in 1999, when a former friend of Joan’s told me that Joan had made a death threat against me. Also, in 1998, Joan sent a letter to Gert to my house in an envelope addressed to me and my fiance. This AFTER the District Attorney’s office told us both to leave each other alone. – After the judge dismissed my case in 1995, I had gone back to the DA’s and bitched about it – how could someone be writing letters to my job, call my job repeatedly, trying to get me fired over false accusations and get away with it? They sent someone to my house and Joan’s house and told us both to stop it. Since I wasn’t doing anything TO stop, I was cool with their directive. And there was peace until 1998 when Joan sent that letter, then in February 1999, she sends ME a letter telling my that my fiance got the next door neighbor pregnant – when the house was vacant. Because of that letter and the death threat – I took her to Family Court and they gave me an order of protection against Joan for the duration of one year.

When I filed the charges in 1999, I told them all the stuff that had gone on before. The clerk made some handwritten notes and then I waited while the papers were typed up. The clerk went into the CITY OF BUFFALO COURT COMPUTER SYSTEM and noted the two previous times we had been in court – in 1993 and 1995. It correctly showed that in 1993 the order of protection was ACD and that my charge against Joan in 1995 was dismissed. It showed no other court dates, as we were never in court at any other time. – this document was sent to Trafford as proof of the actual court dates between us. SEE DOCUMENT #5 BELOW.

In Joan’s book, she has it down that we went to court in the summer of 1994 – over the false child abuse call – which in reality had not taken place until December 1994. She also stated in the book that there was a three month court battle. WRONG! – In 1995, we were in court for three days! – The first was on March 17, 1995 for her arraignment. We were in front of the judge for perhaps 10-15 minutes.The case was adjourned until a date in April. When we got there, the case was adjourned for a later date in May. Again, we were in front of the judge for about 10-15 minutes. When we got to court in May, again, we were in front of the judge for about 10-15 minutes. And the judge dismissed it. – That was in 1995.

Three month court battle? well, technically, yes, were in court for about 15 minutes in March, another 15 minutes in April, and another 15 minutes in May. But hardly the way she says in the book.

Also – in the case in 1999 – I brought up that Joan was going around telling people that I had a criminal record. Which was FALSE. I showed the judge in Family Court the order of protection that was summarily dismissed ACD and a certification of completion of a course that I took in 1998 at the Buffalo Police Academy, a course in conjunction with my work as a VIABLE (Volunteer In Asissting Buffalo Law Enforcement) – to augment my work as a neighborhood activist and block club leader. To be accepted into the program, I had to be free of a criminal record and a background check was done on me by the Buffalo Police Department. And NO CRIMINAL RECORD SHOWED UP. This background check was done early 1998 – nearly 5 years after the order of protection was dismissed ACD.

In Family Court – it is not set up like a regular court – you sit at a large table. I took my certificate out of my folder and handed it to the judge. SEE DOCUMENT #6 BELOW – A SCAN OF THE CERTIFICATE FROM THE BUFFALO POLICE DEPARTMENT WITH THE DATE OF AUGUST 29, 1998.

In the book, Joan has me screaming and yelling and waving the paper around bitching that I am on the police force. – really?

So in the book, Joan takes bits and pieces of all three court cases, and combines them into one court case in the summer of 1994. She has me waving my VIABLE certificate around in 1994, when I didn’t take the course until 1998.

Copies of the court documents and my VIABLE certificate were sent to Trafford and they determined that Joan did slander and libel me with her assertions in the book that in 1994 I had a criminal record when the Buffalo Police Department determined in 1998 that I NEVER HAD A CRIMINAL RECORD.

Here are the documents: click on them to see a larger view.

DOCUMENT #1 order of protection (ACD)  handed down to Ruth on August 9, 1993 for the dates August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994.

rest order aug 9 93 - Feb 9 94

DOCUMENT #2 – Joan’s letter to Albany, NY, dated Dec. 31, 1994 wherein Joan Wheeler SLANDERS AND LIBELS ME by stating that I was sentanced to probation when I was not. – An order of protection is NOT probation. It was dismissed on February 9, 1994. I did not and still do not have any criminal record.

Joan's letter to Albany Dec 31, 94 privacy

Document #3 My summons to court April 1995. Notice that it says Ruth Sippel  vs. Joan Wheeler – my name appears first because I filed the court case against her.

summons April 19 95 privacy

DOCUMENT #4 – Joan’s summons into court for March 1995. See the note below she wrote to my fiance and his mother – trying to get them to appear in court against me. What a delusional asshole – my mother in law never met Joan and wanted to slap her face when she saw this.

privacy

DOCUMENT #5 THE PRINTOUT FROM FAMILY COURT. This shows the only two other previous court cases between Joan and me – that state the order of protection was ACD – ADJOURNMENT ON CONSIDERATION OF DISMISSAL. – IT DOES NOT SHOW ANYWHERE THAT I WAS EVER PLACED ON PROBATION. IT SHOWS THE 1995 CASE THAT WAS DISMISSED. IT DOES NOT SHOW EVIDENCE ANYWHERE IN THE COURT COMPUTER SYSTEM – WHICH IS LINKED TO NEW YORK STATE, ERIE COUNTY, AND THE CITY OF BUFFALO COURTS THAT I HAD A CRIMINAL RECORD.

my petition Fam C. 01 6-4-99  privacy

DOCUMENT #6 – My VIABLE certificate from The Buffalo Police Department Academy dated AUGUST 29, 1998.

viable cert. 8-29-98

NOW I ASK YOU – HOW THE HELL WAS I WAVING THIS AROUND IN A COURTROOM IN 1994 WHEN I DIDN’T GET IT UNTIL FOUR YEARS LATER?

DOCUMENT #7 – THE LETTER JOAN WROTE TO MY THEN-FIANCE – CLEARLY TRYING TO GET HIM TO BREAK UP WITH ME:

privacy

HARASSMENT? JOAN HAS THE NERVE TO BITCH ABOUT HARASSMENT?

Faulty memory? BULLSHIT! Joan does not have faulty memory. She LIED.

Her viewpoint? BULLSHIT! You cannot have a point of view that differs from actual court proceedings, actual court rulings, actual court documents, actual police documents.

JOAN WHEELER IS A LIAR – PLAIN AND SIMPLE AS THAT.

TELL THE WORLD AGAIN JOAN WHEELER THAT MY COMPLAINT TO THE PUBLISHER, WHICH INCLUDE THESE DOCUMENTS AND MORE WERE BASELESS. YOU ARE A FUCKING MENTAL CASE AND SHOULD BE COMMITTED.

UPDATE Dec 2015; as older posts are being seen I’m (Gert) updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ yet again, her ‘story’, NOW called ‘duped by adoption’. There is NOTHING in it for adoption reform, for she is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

Proof that my complaints to the publisher of Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family were not baseless. January 16, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family.
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 In my last blog post “Joan Wheeler shows evidence of her mental illness. Delusional person that she is. January 15, 2013”    I wrote the following:

“Gert relates more garbage posted by Joan on the Huffington Post. Gert copied and pasted the actual dialogue from that site. On statement from Joan is so laughable – I love the line from Joan where she says: “Your complaints were baseless; POD publisher a scam. ” – No, the complaint I sent Trafford Publishers contained ACTUAL CITY COURT DOCUMENTS that proved that what Joan said in the book was libelous, incorrect and a LIE!” 

If Joan thinks that ACTUAL BUFFALO CITY COURT DOCUMENTS ARE NOT REAL – and she thinks that they don’t show the FACTS AND TRUTH behind the LIES that she said in that book and continues to spread on the internet: JOAN WHEELER IS SERIOUSLY MENTALLY ILL AND SHOULD BE COMMITTED.

I had posted on November 30, 2011, to this blog, the actual complaint that I sent to Trafford. See: “My complaint to Trafford Publications concerning the slander and libel contained in the book Forbidden Family by Joan WheelerNovember 30, 2011”  It’s a very long document. Because there was just so much shit in that book.

I sent copies (scanned) via mail, of the documents that supported what I said. It was a hard undertaking. Because in the book, Joan lumps together three separate court cases that we were involved in. The first one was in July – August 1993 that Joan had instituted over annoyance phone calls from me. That I made after she baited me into phoning her. She had already told the phone company that I was bothering her, had them install a phone trap (pre Caller-ID days) and then sent me a letter knowing I’d call her. I did, and she said “wait a minute” and hung up. I called back, she said something like she was having problems with the phone cord, hung up. I call again, CLICK. She then reported me for bothering her. And I got hauled into court. I got slapped with a six-month order of protection dated August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. That restraining order was listed as ACD – Adjournment on Condition of Dismissal – which means that at the end of the six months, if I had not done anything, the whole matter would be dropped – dismissed. No criminal record.  And so it was. Despite her saying in the book that I violated the order of protection, (I did not) and that I have a criminal record.

People – don’t take my word for it. Or Joan’s – read the damn actual court document!

The second time we were in court – was because of the letter writing and phone calls she was making to my job and various elected officials, impugning my reputation. And she had the gall to send me copies of those letters. And I was getting blamed for a false child abuse call that I believe Joan made herself – to get ME in trouble. In February 1995 I instituted a harassment charge on her. While waiting for the court date, Joan writes to MY fiance, via his mother’s house, asking him when he was leaving me. The judge dismissed the charges, saying “sisters should get along.” 

The next time we were in court was in 1999, when a former friend of Joan’s told me that Joan had made a death threat against me. Also, in 1998, Joan sent a letter to Gert to my house in an envelope addressed to me and my fiance. This AFTER the District Attorney’s office told us both to leave each other alone. – After the judge dismissed my case in 1995, I had gone back to the DA’s and bitched about it – how could someone be writing letters to my job, call my job repeatedly, trying to get me fired over false accusations and get away with it? They sent someone to my house and Joan’s house and told us both to stop it. Since I wasn’t doing anything TO stop, I was cool with their directive. And there was peace until 1998 when Joan sent that letter, then in February 1999, she sends ME a letter telling my that my fiance got the next door neighbor pregnant – when the house was vacant. Because of that letter and the death threat – I took her to Family Court and they gave me an order of protection against Joan for the duration of one year. 

When I filed the charges in 1999, I told them all the stuff that had gone on before. The clerk made some handwritten notes and then I waited while the papers were typed up. The clerk went into the CITY OF BUFFALO COURT COMPUTER SYSTEM and noted the two previous times we had been in court – in 1993 and 1995. It correctly showed that in 1993 the order of protection was ACD and that my charge against Joan in 1995 was dismissed. It showed no other court dates, as we were never in court at any other time. – this document was sent to Trafford as proof of the actual court dates between us.

In Joan’s book, she has it down that we went to court in the summer of 1994 – over the false child abuse call – which in reality had not taken place until December 1994. She also stated in the book that there was a three month court battle. WRONG! – In 1995, we were in court for three days! – The first was on March 17, 1995 for her arraignment. We were in front of the judge for perhaps 10-15 minutes.The case was adjourned until a date in April. When we got there, the case was adjourned for a later date in May. Again, we were in front of the judge for about 10-15 minutes. When we got to court in May, again, we were in front of the judge for about 10-15 minutes. And the judge dismissed it. – That was in 1995.

 Three month court battle? well, technically, yes, were in court for about 15 minutes in March, another 15 minutes in April, and another 15 minutes in May. But hardly the way she says in the book. 

Also – in the case in 1999 – I brought up that Joan was going around telling people that I had a criminal record. Which was FALSE. I showed the judge in Family Court the order of protection that was summarily dismissed ACD and a certification of completion of a course that I took in 1998 at the Buffalo Police Academy, a course in conjunction with my work as a VIABLE (Volunteer In Asissting Buffalo Law Enforcement) – to augment my work as a neighborhood activist and block club leader. To be accepted into the program, I had to be free of a criminal record and a background check was done on me by the Buffalo Police Department. And NO CRIMINAL RECORD SHOWED UP. This background check was done early 1998 – nearly 5 years after the order of protection was dismissed ACD.

In Family Court – it is not set up like a regular court – you sit at a large table. I took my certificate out of my folder and handed it to the judge. 

In the book, Joan has me screaming and yelling and waving the paper around bitching that I am on the police force. – really? 

So in the book, Joan takes bits and pieces of all three court cases, and combines them into one court case in the summer of 1994. She has me waving my VIABLE certificate around in 1994, when I didn’t take the course until 1998.

 Copies of the court documents and my VIABLE certificate were sent to Trafford and they determined that Joan did slander and libel me with her assertions in the book that in 1994 I had a criminal record when the Buffalo Police Department determined in 1998 that I NEVER HAD A CRIMINAL RECORD.

 Joan can go on Huffington Post and keep insisting that what she put in the book was the truth – and my complaint to Trafford was baseless. That is her right to do so. She can be as delusional as she wants – EXCEPT WHEN HER DELUSIONS ARE IMPUGING MY REPUTATION. 

I, RUTH SIPPEL PACE, HAVE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED IN MY LIFE, HAVE NO CRIMINAL RECORD. HAVE A GOOD JOB – I DO MY JOB WELL. I ADHERE TO HOSPITAL POLICY, I DO WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO AT MY JOB AND DON’T DO WHAT I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO DO. I ALSO HAVE THE RESPECT OF MY EMPLOYER NO MATTER HOW MANY FALSE ACCUSATIONS JOAN WHEELER LOBS AT ME. 

Joan is a dried up old bitter woman – she is unhappy and miserable.

 I have a good job, with many people who respect me. These include not only fellow nurse’s aides, but registered nurses, supervisors, and several physicians. I have a nice house. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and dotes on me – despite all the attempts by Joan to convince him to leave me. We have been the best of friends since 1978. We moved in together in 1987. We bought our house in 1996. We got married in 2002. And we are still going strong. He is my rock, and I am his. 

Joan is jealous of me – plain and simple as that.

My complaints were baseless? Joan – your whole existence is baseless. You really should stop listening to the voices in your head.

1. kimberlyhardingJanuary 16, 2013

It’s hard to deal with people like this as they are so detached from reality.

 2. gertmcqueenJanuary 16, 2013

Proofs don’t mean a thing to Joan…what are proofs to a person who KNOWS everything!

It’s the world according to Joan Wheeler and any other fact, proof, view point is baseless and false and twisted. Crazy thing is that otherwise SMART INTELLIGENT people believe this crap! They are so locked into their adoption ID and FEELINGS that they are BLIND to reality.

The very fact that we are living breathing people that OPPOSE Joan is all it takes for her to go over the edge and tell the world how evil we are, how we harass her and torment her!

Doesn’t matter to me how many damm sites she goes on or how many books she writes…we shall continue to PROVIDE THE EVIDENCE and people that THINK and SEE will know when they see the proofs.

Joan lives in a fantasy of her own making, the minute I showed up and asked a direct question about WHY she violated my parental authority, she got DEFENSIVE she doesn’t have to ANSWER TO ME! and then waves her hand to dismiss me! The public saw that and they will see it again! cause we birthsiblings do have the evidence that Joan can’t ran away from.

some recent posts regarding Joan Wheeler September 6, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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over at Gert’s blog…

 

Joan Wheeler NEVER was a sibling of ours, she is ‘the adoptee’! (from that book) September 2, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Our Family History, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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come over to Gert’s blog to see my revisted post of another couple of chapters of Joan’s libelous book…

Joan Wheeler NEVER was a sibling of ours, she is ‘the adoptee’! (from that book)

by

Joan Wheeler NEVER was a sibling of ours, she is ‘the adoptee’! (from that book) by gertmcqueen

Joan Wheeler tells her tale of woe AGAIN. yawn, yawn, big, big yawn – OH WAIT! SHE CHANGES THE STORY OF HER BAPTISM! August 18, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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IMPORTANT UPDATE – AUGUST 19, 2012, 2:30 pm:

It seems that Joan WAS telling the truth about her baptism. Here is the following exchange from facebook:

 Richard L. Herr Girl’s that part is true. That is how it happend.

 
  • gert mcquen  excatly what happened, could you please explain, who and what at the hospital or in the church, because I saw her in baptismal dress at grandma’s NOT at the hospital
  • Richard L. Herr All I can tell you is she was baptised in the hospital room with Aunt Anne, me as her godparents. I understand she was baptized again after that when your Dad took her away from us.
    RUTH HERE – Richard Herr is Joan’s godfather. – so why didn’t Joan tell the full story in the first place? And why did she end up telling THREE different versions of it?
    And this is the trouble when you tell stories that are different from the actual facts, or outright lies – like the story of the Boy Who Cried Wolf, Joan has published so many lies, fabrications and twisting of facts, that when she does tell the truth, nobody believes her.
    Thank you Uncle Rich for setting the record straight. —-
    Gert here now…thank you Uncle Rich for telling me what happened;
    two baptismal ceremonies and then removed from godparents care and placed with the adopted parents, who then did their own ceremonies.
    Joan never tells the same story twice and this is where the core problems lie, plus she repeats things she heard or learned from the adopted parents that were untrue and based on their own fears.
    As I just said to Uncle Rich…why doesn’t Joan stop, it is not helping our mother’s spirt.
    For Joan to constantly invoke our mother’s spirit to the entire world and make up several versions of a very tragic event, robs that mother of PEACE IN DEATH. Joan really needs to have her tongue cut out!
    okay, back to my original post:

On the New York Times site is an article on adoption and there is Joan again telling her tale of woe – at first I sort of just pooh-poohed it – but then I took a second look and saw SHE CHANGES THE FACTS AGAIN! Previously, on various internet sites, via comments, she has reported that it was “a nurse in the hospital who brought the baby to her mother’s room.” Then it was changed to a “Protestant nurse who brought the baby to her mother’s room.” NOW it’s her godparents AND a priest who brought her to mom’s hospital room and she received the Holy Sacrement of Baptism! But she says NOTHING  about any of these three scenarios in her all-truthful book!

After I read her latest whine of woe and changing of the facts, I knew I had to answer!
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/08/15/adoption-destiny-and-magical-thinking/?comments#permid=61

Joan’s comments:
Aug. 17, 2012 at 3:38 a.m.
..halforhpan56Buffalo, NY

..My adoption became final one year and one week after my birth. Within the following three months, the government confiscated my birth certificate and placed it under seal, never to be opened, forever. Paperwork was sent 400 miles away from Surrogate’s Court in the city of my birth to the State Capital where all birth certificates created for NYS adoptees are made and filed. One year and three months after I was born, the Registrar of Vital Statistics set forth a new birth certificate in my new adoptive name, naming my new parents as my parents by birth, naming my hospital of birth, the time of my birth, and stating that I was a “single” birth and not a twin or a triplet. The Registrar then signed his name and affixed the raised State seal to this new birth certificate certifying that the facts stated were true. He lied. He knowingly created a false government document. He committed fraud and perjury as lying under oath is a crime. But, it was God’s will. It was destiny. He just had to do it since it was God’s Plan.

..Three and a half years later, (after my adoption) when my adoptive parents wanted a new baptismal certificate for me in the name they had given me, they asked their lawyer to do something. He did. He requested that the parish that performed my baptism in 1956 issue a new, amended, baptismal certificate in my adoptive name so that I could go to Catholic Schools and receive the rest of the Catholic sacraments. The parish pastor created a new baptismal certificate that stated that I, in my legal adopted name, was baptized on the date of my actual baptism in 1956, he named my adoptive parents, named my godparents who were my deceased mother’s brother and his wife, and then issued the new baptismal certificate in May of 1959. This Pastor knowingly issued a falsified baptismal certificate, yet he, being a representative of God, committed a sin by signing his name in witness and testimony that all the information was true as taken from Official Records of that parish church.

This is not God’s Will, nor is it Destiny. This is lying. By a priest.
…It was God’s will and His Plan for my widowed father that he relinquish me, his fifth child, born in January of 1956, to be raised the only child of my adoptive parents. Yes, it is destiny that my mother was dying while pregnant with me and her only purpose was to stay alive long enough for me to be born. But she lingered for three more months.

…I was taken to my dying mother’s bedside where my godparents, a priest, and my mother witnessed the Holy Sacrament of Baptism. I was Baptized under my legal and religious name, recognized by Jesus Christ himself, while my father was at home with his four older children. Three weeks later, his wife, and our mother, died.

The priest said to our father, “The baby needs two parents.” At the funeral parlor, a woman came up to my father and said, “I know someone who will take your baby.” So, my father, being the obedient Catholic that he was, took the priest’s words to heart. A woman who knew his deceased wife came to pay her respects. It must surely be God’s will, it must surely be destiny, that this woman appeared to my father at the exact moment that his newborn daughter needed a new family because, after all, the priest said that the baby needed two parents. And so it came to pass that my father handed me over to my pre-adoptive parents nearly one month after my mother’s death.

Ruth’s comments:

Adoption, Destiny and Magical Thinking is certainly an appropriate title to describe HalfOrphan56’s way of thinking. I am a birth sister of H.O56. HO56 likes to put her own spin on the facts of her adoption and other things. And everytime she tells the story, she changes things. One time she told the story of her baptism, it was simply a nurse who did the “baptism.” Another time it was a Protestant nurse. (on different internet sites). Now she says that she was taken to her dying mother’s bedside where she received the Holy Sacrament of Baptism with her godparents and a priest in attendance. NO, she was baptized on March 4, 1956 in Sacred Heart Church. My oldest sister remembers seeing the infant lying on my grandparent’s bed – they lived only a few blocks from the church.

As to her adoption – yes, my mother got sick while pregnant and went into the hospital late December 1955. On January 7, she miscarried the baby, who was placed in an incubator and discharged from the hospital 6 weeks later. That baby was HO56, who went home with my uncle, her godfather. My father had 4 other children to look after – his parents were elderly.

My mother’s sister Catherine grew up and remain friends with Helen. Helen’s brother and his wife couldn’t have children. She did approach my father with the suggestion that he let these people adopt the baby.

It was NOT at the funeral home. AND my father then consulted his parish priest. NO priest approached him at the funeral home. In April 1956, the baby was given to the adoptive parents. The final papers were signed by my father in January 1957, giving him ample time to think things over further and reconsider. That he stood by his initial decision shows that he was hardly coerced or taken advantage of while grieving.

In 1956, there were no daycare centers or welfare system as we know it today. My father made a painful decision with the circumstances he had to work with. There was NO kiinship solving available. HO56 refuses to accept this fact, and because she refuses to accept that fact, has many “issues.” One is that only 6 years after being reunited with her birth family, she was actually kicked out of the family – due to her harassments and other wrongful actions.

In November 2009, she self-published her book Forbidden Family, which contained many lies about me and other members of our family.My oldest sister and I compiled a list of the slanders contained in the book and made a formal complaint to the publisher. They carefully read our complaint and the book and agreed that HO56 violated her contract with them – no slander, no hate speech, copyright infringement. Their legal department pulled the book from publication in May 2011.

My sister and I have two blogs regarding this libelous book, HO56’s blog, and her lies about us and our family on various internet sites.
The are: Refuting a Book of Lies – Forbidden Family at:https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/  and Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor at: http://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/

RuthAugust 18, 2012

here read this sentance again:
“…I was taken to my dying mother’s bedside where my godparents, a priest, and my mother witnessed the Holy Sacrament of Baptism.”

take notice how Joan says “a priest…witnessed the Holy Sacrament of Baptism.”

She doesn’t say that the priest PERFORMED the sacrement, but that he WITNESSED it.

Joan, Joan, Joan, STICK TO THE TRUTH AND YOU WON’T MAKE THESE KINDS OF STUPID MISTAKES! – jackass!

a really important post on Gert’s blog July 16, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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don’t miss important developments…

this one has evidence that will knock your socks off…

 

The Yom Kippur Affair of Octobr 2009 – Joan Wheeler twists the meaning of Yom Kippur, gets herself in trouble with her bloghost, then blames her birth sisters for her own ignorance. (what else is new?)

by 

A post from Kathy…evidence July 14, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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January 2017 see end for updated info…

Gert says…

This is a post from Kathy…she has asked me to post this on my and on Ruth’s  blogs. There are scans to this and I’m afraid that I am unsure on how to do that and so the scans will have to wait until Ruth is able to so them, in the meanwhile see…

http://chayelet.wordpress.com/

Kathy says:

There have been, over the years, a few remarks made by Ms Wheeler and her friends, casting aspersions as to my intentions for writing this blog. I was clearing out some files, and came across the original post by Ms W, and the subsequent correspondence which led to me starting this blog. It is all here, with a few of my ‘white-outs’ of personal information not pertaining to the subject.

You will see:

Scans 1-4   The original post by JW, the title of which caught my eye whilst surfing the net on Jewish topics, and not her by name: On the Close of Yom Kippur, Day of Atonement. You will see Ms Wheeler twists Yom Kippur to be an opportunity for her adversaries to apologise to her and seek her forgiveness, which is not exactly what Yom Kippur is all about.

Scan5  My comment, which as anyone can see is solely for the point of clarity over the true meaning of Yom Kippur, not accusation, and certainly not mentioning Ms Wheeler’s family situation, which was not the focus of my comment.

Scans 5/6  Her response to me, as Chayelet, before she realised who I really was.

Scan 7 Her, unsolicited by me, personal email to me. The whited-out paragraphs refer to private individuals Ms Wheeler wanted me to contact on her behalf (no, she’s not a user, is she). Note how she actually thanks me for reading her blog, and how she ‘had a feeling we’d re-connect..’.  So much for wanting ‘no contact’. Nowhere in this letter, by the way, does she ask after my welfare, or show any interest in my life- same old, same old.

Scan 8 My email to WordPress regarding her unprofessional behaviour in contacting me.

WordPress’s response is unknown- but Ms Wheeler did post an abusive response to me, which was taken down along with the entire correspondence by either herself or WordPress, before I had the chance to print it out.

I believe this will end the speculation as to the ‘abuse’ Ms Wheeler claims I gave her. I merely wanted to give her a greater understanding of the true meaning of Yom Kippur.  I wish I’d never bothered.

This post was seen Jan 18, 2017 and so I thought I’d update it… here is the link to the post that clarifies what Kathy said above…

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2012/07/16/the-yom-kippur-affair-of-octobr-2009-joan-wheeler-twists-the-meaning-of-yom-kippur-gets-herself-in-trouble-with-her-bloghost-then-blames-her-birth-sisters-for-her-own-ignorance-what-else-is-new/

IN ADDITION…

UPDATE January 2017; as older posts are being seen I, Gert, am updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism published in 2009, was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011 due to libelous material in it. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’, being her own editor and owner. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and reedited and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/     this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

 

Joan Wheeler says her “truthful” book (Forbidden Family) is currently under revision. April 10, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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On Joan Wheeler’s  facebook page dedicated to her lying book Forbidden Family, is this announcement:

Just to let everyone know, my book is out of print. Currently under revision! Second edition will be out soon!”

Her book is out of print from Trafford Publications because of the many lies she told in it. When Gert and I read the book and found the many falsehoods in it, lies engineered to smear our characters, such as saying I have an arrest and criminal record, when I do not, (slander and libel), we contacted Trafford Publications.

When Trafford researched the many actual court documents that I sent them, that proved that Joan lied in her “truthful” book, and that Joan lied to Trafford when she signed a contract with them, saying she owned copyrights to “the work and all its content” (actual contract language from Trafford) – TRAFFORD PUBLICATION KILLED THE BOOK. IT IS NOT ONLY OUT OF PRINT FROM TRAFFORD, IT HAS BEEN PULLED FROM ANY PUBLICATION THROUGH TRAFFORD. – She DOES NOT own the copyright to MY photograph that she put on the back cover.

Joan still has on her facebook page a blurb that says the book can be purchased from Trafford – so that in itself is a lie.

Now let’s get to her new announcement. She says her book is “currently under revision.”

How can a TRUTHFUL book be under revision? If the second edition comes out, and it has been changed, that would negate the first edition – right? And that would make all her assertions that she did NOT lie in her book  lies in themselves.

Since November 2009, when her book first came out, Joan Wheeler has been saying on the internet – that she did NOT lie in her book. Then there would be no need to revise it, because you cannot revise the truth – right?

So if the second edition comes out, and she changes events – then she will be guilty of LYING again.

But this is what Joan does best – LIE HER BUTT OFF AND REVISE THE TRUTH AND REALITY.

GOT NEWS FOR YOU JOAN – YOU CANNOT REVISE TRUTH AND REALITY.

And do you think that we will allow more lies told about us? Think again sweetie.

. gertmcqueenApril 11, 2012[

Ruth is quite right…the truth is the truth and one can not revise a book that bills itself as a true account! How stupid is Joan? A REWRITE would be a better term!

and I’ll save Joan lots of time and energy…here’s the rewrite

I was born, because I wasn’t aborted. My mother was sick and died while I stayed with relatives, then I was placed into adoption because my father had no way of caring for me. I did not belong to that birth family. I was adopted by two very sick people who obeyed the law by not telling me the truth about my birth family. They also told me many hateful stories about my birth family and my childhood was hell. I was found when I was 18 by my birth siblings, but I was too naive and stupid to handle things. I was a spoiled child and my adopted parents always hated me and my birth family. My reunion was not happy or productive because I always got in everyone’s face and business. I caused lots of trouble, and over time, every family member ended up hating me. I tried to exploit my elderly father and step-mother and when I continued to insult my birth father, he kicked me out. When he died, because I was not on his obit, I made my own! I wrote a lying hateful libeous book that was pulled by the publisher because I violated our contract. Now I’m trying to ‘rewrite’ my life story because I live in a living hell called ADOPTION and I must tell the entire world because my life is a reason why adoption is wrong. I will always exploit my birth family because I’m stupid and mentally ill and because I need to make lots of money on the backs of my birth family because I can’t work because I have had a life of hell because I’m an adoptee.

So there, is Joan’s rewrite of her truthful life story…go for it, honey…but while you are doing so…you ought to remember that there are whole families out there, called the Herrs and the Sippels that might like a piece of you…so go ahead and continue on, by all means, and give them all something to see! It isn’t just your birth sisters that are going to continue to expose your lies and hate but many many more people in the families.

TIME BRINGS ALL THINGS TO LIGHT….

2. Ruth

yep – Gert speaks TRUTH in her comment.
but it doesn’t matter – whatever you call it – revision or rewrite – it means the same thing. If the first edition of Forbidden Familyis a truthful account of her life, as Joan has been insisting for the past two and a half years, or even as she tried to fudge the truth by saying the book was her “point of view” of her life and the lives of her birth family, – a rewrite or revision, would still negate that first edition.

You canNOT rewrite the truth! The truth is the truth. If Joan wrote the truth the first time – why is it necessary to REWRITE IT OR REVISE IT! or – did she change her point of view of her life? – yeah, that’s it – she’s gonna go that way -she’s gonna say “I’ve done some soul searching and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve interpreted some things wrong in the first edition of my book.”

But if she does that – she will show the world what we birth sisters have been saying all along – Joan Wheeler speaks with a forked tongue and will twist her words to suit whatever mood she is in or to what audience she is speaking to. And we have harvested her lies and misrepresentations and HATE RHETORIC that she has posted on the Adult Adoptee forum and other internet sites.

I told the forum members back in 2010 to copy and paste what Joan says – date it and save it. Because she changes what she says all the time. She contradicts herself alll the time. In one internet whine about us birth sisters, she starts out saying she is disabled, on social security disability because SHE CAN’T WORK. Then after trashing us, she’s concerned about her name showing up on google and scaring away prospective employers. um, didn’t she just say she CAN’T WORK? That’s just one example of how she says one thing and several sentances later, says the complete opposite.

Joan is a pathetic loser. No matter how many rewrites or revisions or editions she puts out via vanity publication houses the result will still be the same – it will be full of lies and it will get pulled from publication.

What are the facts of Joan Wheeler’s adoption? Certainly not the crap she says it was. Here is the truth of it. February 15, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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A lot of this stuff has been blogged about before – but it doesn’t hurt to do it again – in the hopes that it will eventually sink in that think head of Joan Wheeler’s. Because she keeps going on the internet and keeps posting the same delusions – the same erroneous fantastical twisting of the facts of her adoption. And we notice that on some internet sites she says one thing, and on other sites she says different things.

So I will start from the dam beginning AGAIN. – With the cold hard facts.

Joan was conceived sometime in July 1955. Around Christmas 1955, my mother became very sick and went into the hospital. We four kids at home were ages – Gert – (one month shy of 9 years old, Kathy, 4 months shy of 8 years old, Butch, one month shy of 6 years old, and me, 3 years, 4 months old). The doctors didn’t know what was wrong with my mother – she couldn’t keep any food down. On January 7, 1956, she went into labor and spontaneously miscarried the baby in her hospital bed. The baby was placed in an incubator. My mother’s health continue to deteriorate. On January 19, they did exploratory surgery, and she was found to be full of cancer. It was so far spread, there was nothing to be done. They closed her back up and on March 28, she died. Joan has reported on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change Forum that the doctors discovered a cancer tumor the same size as the baby – no they never did. At other places she reports the tumor was the size of a grapefruit. Read what I just wrote – she had exploratory surgery on January 19, 12 days after the baby was born. Other places Joan reports that she asked my father if there had ever been any plans to abort her and my father said no. Of course he would say that – because they didn’t know what was wrong with my mother. They had not discovered any dam tumor before the baby was born.

When Joan was discharged from the hospital, she had impetigo – a pimply rash that she acquired at the hospital. She went to stay with my mother’s brother and his wife, who tried very hard to clear up the rash. In her lying book, Joan says that her amom told her that when they got Joan (April 1956) Joan was full of sores due to poor hygiene. This is a lie and a slam against my Aunt Ann and my uncle Richard, who when was told of this a year ago, was very angry. He told me on the phone what happened. He was furious. So much for Joan respecting her godparents and the people who took care of her while her mother was dying in the hospital.

Yes, my mother’s brothers wanted her to go to Roswell Park Cancer Institute for cancer research. Yes, my father refused. It was his decision to make, along with my mother. My aunt Catherine told me that my mother didn’t want it either. My uncles, in their grief blamed my father. These things happen all the time. And yes, in the case of my one uncle, the bitter feelings remained down the years, but at least the two men just avoided each other. None of the family EVER took their feelings out on us kids.

My mother’s sister Catherine went to grammer school with a woman named Helen. After my mom died, my uncle asked my father what he was going to do about the baby. Because his wife was going to have a baby and there were other kids too. Catherine had just given birth to her last child, and had two other toddlers at home. My mother’s siblings had their own kids to raise, my father’s parents were elderly and couldn’t take on the responsibility of an infanct.

Catherine talked to Helen and Helen said her brother-in-law and his wife couldn’t have kids and wanted to adopt – so they asked my father (NOT at my mom’s funeral, like Joan likes to lie about). My father consulted his pastor and then agreed to the adoption. He re-married several months later. He had one year to change his mind about the adoption. He didn’t. The adoption was finalized in January 1957.

So much for Joan’s assertion that my father was “coerced” into giving her up for adoption. Yes, it could be argued he was grief-stricken, but he had a full year to consider the adoption – to change his mind. In that year, he married another woman. Who had two sons, one stayed with her mother and the other came to be with us. And yes, in 1970, 6 years after that woman died, my father married again, to a woman with two daughters, one he legally adopted in 1979. The facts that he gave a daughter up for adoption, gained 2 stepsons, then gained 2 stepdaughters, and ended up legally adopted one of those stepdaughters shows us how unpredictible and transitory life can be. My father did the best he could – making decisions on the raising of his children with the resources (physical and non-tangible) that he had at the time of those decisions. As any parent does. As any person does when making decisions with their lives. That some of those decisions affected another person’s life (for the betterment or detriment) is just a result of the serendipitous nature of life. – I mean, I could make a decision to quit  my present job and take a job at another place – and in 2 years that new place could close down and then I’d be out of work! Unless you’re a very very good psychic with a very accurate crystal ball – you just don’t know what’s going to happen in life down the road. You make the best decision you can, and hope for the best. And that’s exactly what my father did. To hold him – and the rest of the family – hostage to a life decision that he had the right to make (concerning his children that he had sole custody of and responsibilty for) is wrong. Joan is a parent herself. I’m sure she made choices and decisions that affected her children too. Joan just needs to accept the facts of her childhood and MOVE ON! As anyone on this planet has to and does. She keeps looking backwards – instead of forward.

Instead of constantly whining and blaming her birth sisters for her rotten life – she needs to look at the results of the decisions that SHE made the past 30 years. Like publishing that filthy book full of lies.

Going back to 1956 – my father’s second wife came from a large Italian family. She had one brother and three sisters, all were married with kids. These kids became my “step-cousins” and I remember playing with them. Anyway – Joan likes to report on a fantastical tale told to her by her aparents – that the Christmas after they got Joan (would this be 1956 or 1957? Joan never says) her aparents bought a Christmas tree and presents for us Sippel kids because we were so poor. This story is pure BULLSHIT! My father remarried in the summer of 1956. To a woman from a large family. My father was not poor. He worked in Buffalo’s City Hall. Yes, we lived in a cramped apartment – but as the years went on, we moved to better places. This is how ANYbody does. My first “apartment” was a room in a boarding house – then I shared an apartment, then eventually got my own small studio apartment, and each time I moved thereafterwards my apartments were better than the last – and in 1987, I moved to a house, which is now MINE. I went from a room in a boarding house, working my way up to owning my own house. So what’s the problem? My father did the same. By 1965 he bought his own house, but by 1975, he decided he didn’t want the responsibility of it. And it is a big responsibility, let me tell you.

Joan’s aparents lived in an all-white suburb of Buffalo – her father worked as an electrician at Dunlop tires. That was a good paying job. And they had only one child – and Joan’s mom hand sewed her dresses. Joan likes to report that we kids were jealous of that. We may have pointed this out – but not because we are jealous – but to get Joan to see how nice she had it growing up and she should be appreciative of it. Yes, we other kids had hand-me-downs, but we were a large family. Large families do that.

My father’s second wife unfortunatley was mentally ill and spent some time in the psych center. One day, it was all arranged, we kids were at school. The ambulance came and took my stepmother. We kids were picked up at school by case workers and my sisters went to a foster home, my brothers and me to an orphanage – only about 4 blocks from the foster home. My father was with me. I remember. So much for Joan reporting that we kids came home from school for lunch to witness my stepmother screaming in the ambulance.

This would have been the fall of 1959 – as I spent my second grade at the orphanage, then 3rd grade I was back home. My stepmother died in 1964. Joan reports that we kids were placed in the foster and orphan home after she died. And she’s always getting our ages wrong. She chalks it up to “being in the fog.” If that is the case, if she is in the fog and is reporting erroneous things about our ages in her book and on the internet – CAN YOU TRUST ANY DAM THING SHE SAYS ABOUT HER BIRTH FAMILY? Because I have caught her in several contradictions in her book – and in one paragraph, she starts talking about me, then she starts talking about her daugher, then she mixes us both up.  Yep, Joan is in the fog all right.  And because she is, she needs to SHUT UP ABOUT THE FACTS OF MY LIFE, HER ADOPTION, MY MOTHER – THE FACTS THAT SHE KEEPS GETTING WRONG!

In 1960, my brothers and me came back to live with my father and my stepmother. Jo, despite her being ill, loved to embroider. She embroidered our bed linens – pillowcases and the like with all our names in the corner. She liked little flowers on hers and put little flowers on mine. She taught me to sew – or tried to. lol. Every Friday evening, she took me and my brothers downtown to the movies. We liked science fiction and monster movies. After the movies, we went to eat. I don’t always remember what I ate – but I remember always getting a chocolate milkshake. I remember Jo taking care of me when I was sick with the measles, bringing me a tray of chicken soup to my bedroom and patting my head. She took care of me when I came home after getting my tonsils out.

We kids had many many toys. I remember them all. I had my own desk with lots of crayons and differnt color chalks. The first Visible V-8 engine. I remember the doll houses – the kitchen sets – the little dishes, my set was blue with flowers – and they weren’t plastic – they were metal.

Joan can take her lying stories of MY childhood and shove them – she wasn’t there. She doesn’t know how we lived. She’s going by the lies told her by adoptive parents who looked down at us.

And every time Joan puts those lies out there on the internet – we Sippel Sisters will be right here, on this blog to tell the TRUTH of our own dam childhood. Get a life Joan – my life, my childhood is NOT yours for the taking.

1. gertmcqueen

Gert here…

The TRUTH is always worth repeating!!! particularly when there is a nut case out there that is determine to expose and exploit, for fame and money….our LIVES AND OUR FAMILY

As long as Joan Wheeler keeps those two web site up that exploits and lies about us and our parents we shall continue to tell everyone, everywhere, just what a liar she is as well as all her DARK secrets and all her malicious deeds…

When will Joan Wheeler ever accept the TRUTH? Probably NEVER and that means we will continue on telling the truth.

 

Gert McQueen’s review of Rene Hoksbergen’s review of Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler December 27, 2011

Posted by gertmcqueen in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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UPDATE…NOV 2015…

Joan M Wheeler has published a new ‘revision’ of the same old hate manifesto and renamed it ‘Duped by Adoption’. I have created a new blog and Facebook page…

Here are the links to my NEW blog and Facebook page

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

On Amazon, I have reviewed 7 reviews of this ‘new’ garbage book and created a ‘discussion’ on the Forward, by Rene Hoksbergen.

Here’s the link to the DISCUSSION about the FORWARD on Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/about-the-FORWARD-/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/Tx2ACMKSGGGG4SV/1/ref=cm_cd_dp_tp_cq?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW&cdSort=oldest#Mx16G15LCZTNM4X

Here’s the link to a recent blog post Nov 3, 2015 about the contents of the forward

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/11/03/doesnt-rene-hoksbergen-have-anything-better-to-do-in-his-retirement-than-to-continue-to-use-joan-m-wheelers-families-as-whipping-posts-in-a-new-forward/

Here are the related links to blog posts that Ruth and I have already written and addressed topics related to Rene Hoksbergen, the author of the Forward.

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2011/12/23/was-rene-hoksbergen-ever-really-a-friend-to-joan-wheeler-or-did-she-just-use-him-like-she-does-everyone/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/gert-mcqueens-review-of-rene-hoksbergens-review-of-forbidden-family-by-joan-wheeler/     this one is about the review in LAVAContact2  2010 English translation

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/26/reposting-from-gert-mcqueens-blog-was-rene-hoksbergen-ever-really-a-friend-to-joan-wheeler-or-did-she-just-use-him-like-she-does-everyone-originally-published-on-december-23-2011/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/05/16/emails-from-willem-koops-former-colleague-of-retired-professor-rene-hoksbergen-palsie-walsie-of-joan-wheeler/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/09/20/joan-wheeler-lies-about-dr-rene-hoksbergen-in-her-book-forbidden-family/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/10/14/

NOW BACK TO THIS POST…

 Gert here:
In view of the fact that recent attention has been placed on Rene Hoksbergen’s endorsement of the lying hateful book that Joan Wheeler wrote, which was pulled from publication, I thought that readers would like to see what I wrote and posted some time ago about his review. (Ruth’s note – I placed some additional material at the end of this post – please read – it is my answer to only 2 statements of Hoksbergen).
Rene Hoksbergen’s words are in normal text format.
Gert McQueen’s comments, on this review, are in bold itatic text format.
Review of Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family by Rene Hoksbergen in LAVAContact2  2010 English translation.
This autobiographical study of Joan Wheeler read with the necessary tension on the way things will go. Despite the extensive and detailed description of the many events and feelings over a period of almost fifty years.
This book is a detailed description of a tormented individual that has a great need to have the world fit her delusions. No one lives in a vacuum and by the very nature of writing about one’s own inner demons it becomes very subjective in nature and all peoples in it must fit that subjective mindset. The ‘necessary tension’ is the result of the author’s inabilities to accept life as life was given to her. The ‘extensive and detailed description’ is just over-kill and only points to a mentally unbalanced individual. Perhaps if the author actually lived a life instead of always writing ‘the book’ she and it would not be so full of torment!
It consists of two parts. The autobiography of Joan and then part two with lots of information about the American adoption history and its current situation. In this second part she makes her findings and suggestions for improvements.
Part 1, is full of sensationalized drama, with intent to sell the story, the book! The author uses, extensively, the techniques of exaggeration and hyperbole along with fabrications and outright lies. 38 chapters consisting of 569 pages are devoted to the study of the autobiography of Joan’s tormented views!
Part 2, which ought to be the more useful part of any written material intended for adoption reform, consists of only 6 chapters with a total of 62 pages! And there are no ‘suggestions’ from the author. She is a militant angry adoptee that is very hostile to anyone who adopts!
And how much does a person have to spend for this study of one person’s tormented life? Around $50.00! A person, spending a few hours on the Internet, could come up with the same source materials in this book and save themselves the money.
Joan was born in Buffalo. Her mother died shortly after her birth and her father decided to give her away to a distant relative without children. He has already four children, three daughters and one son, this fifth child can’t be taken care by him. In 1956, when this takes place, adoption in the US (and also in our country) is a taboo subject. Birth certificates are falsified, the child is sometimes very late or not informed about the adoption and many know the facts and family relationships, some don’t, as the case of Joan.
My father didn’t know about the adoptive parents being any sort of ‘distant relative’; he was in the middle of a tragedy! My father’s decisions do not have to be explained or justified. The adoptive parents also do not have to justify or explain their reasons for adopting. Throughout this book the author details, over and over again, how she had browbeaten, intimidated, condemned, and used all sorts of methods to get all parents to ‘apology’ to her for her being adopted! My god!
When she becomes 18 years old, she’s suddenly called by her eldest sister. Her three sisters were from when Joan suddenly disappeared from the family informed of the status of adoption and also of her destination. They had always wanted to know how she was doing and now she’s eighteen and formal adult, they can contact her. From this call Joan’s life has been put upside down. She describes her reactions, of the adoptive parents and how her birth family, her father and siblings deal with it.
Life, being as it is as it unfolds, is full of surprises; who would have guessed that the author would choose to condemn both families for wanting her and then go out of her way to make everyone’s life miserable with her dirty double dealings and lies! It makes me ill to read, the almost 600 pages, of pure mental garbage that the author describes herself and everyone related to her.
Against the background of all the facts around the reunion and the further development of contacts she tells clearly and gripping the progress of other aspects in her life, her school life, marriage, becomes mother of two children, the death of her adoptive father, dealing with friends, the care of her adoptive mother and only child, and many others. It is a moving description of the history of an American woman and her two families.
Gripping is not a word I’d use to describe how the author tells about aspects of her life. Soap opera dramatics is how the author details her life; every little thing is overblown so that when real troubles occur they are exaggerated to show how horrible a life she has, because she is adopted! “A moving description”, only if you are addicted to soap opera drama!
But gradually it becomes clear that the reunion in her life especially got a negative impact. There is sexual abuse of her by one of her sisters, intense feelings of jealously, aggression and ignorance towards Joan. The father tires desperately, sometimes successfully but often not, to compromise between his children. Joan herself also got a fierce nature. At the same time her adoptive mother initially responds very negative to her writings about adoption in various newspapers and increasingly in book form. Mother has a strong possessiveness towards her adopted child, Joan.
Negative impact, cause by the author herself! As I’ve stated in my letter to Doctor Hoksbergen, there was no sexual abuse from me to the author. That is purely a cover-up story to take away from a real incident that the author wanted and then retaliated, when things didn’t go her way, with a cover-up story. She makes her mistake, of letting out the truth, via her own lying; liars never remember the original lie. Page 220 contains a very important element to this lie of sexual abuse and points to the ‘cover up story’! But, you will have to read my own extensive comments on this once its posted on our web blog under the title ‘facts are stubborn things’. I suggest everyone check out and read our blog frequently to know the truth of all that the author details, for indeed, it will take a few more months for all our refuting of this book!
The ‘intense feelings of jealously, aggression and ignorance’ is not towards Joan but is what Joan feels herself and projects onto everyone else. If someone does not fit into her ‘inner world reality’ they are ‘out to get her’ and she has no limits to what she will do to get you! “Fierce nature” and “strong possessiveness” don’t begin to describe the sick relationship between adopted mother and adoptee.
 Precisely because of its negative experiences Joan has decided twenty years ago, to write down her life story. She is also an adoption activist. She vehemently rails against the practice adopted in the US. She fights against the fraudulent nature, against hypocrisy, market characteristics, the closed nature of many adoptions that still continues, even against anonymous sperm and egg donors. Many times you see her at conferences, and so I made her acquaintance, her story. In the adoption world in the USA she’s well known.
When was this review actually written? The Doctor wrote the foreword in 2006 and according to the author she began writing her book in 1970’s. So by 2006 it was already close to 40 years not 20. So why have an outdated ‘review’ published now, in 2010? Precisely because it is now about one year since the book was published. This ‘review’ is a staged occurrence, it happens in the publishing world to boost sales!
She is no activist but yes she ‘vehemently rails against adoption’ to the point of not only obsession but condemnation of anyone adopting any child for any reason. Sounds more like she ought get a job with the Inquisition! She is well known in the adoption world? Pity those people!
The book is a very informative story about how an adopted deals with secrecy, how decisions are made for her, the struggle with feelings of loyalty, the reunion and contacts with biological family of both mothers and father’s side. She describes her emotional reactions openly and honestly.
This sounds as if the author wrote it for the reviewer!
It is an exciting and very well written story about the weak position of an adopted child. English is relatively simple and remain legible.
It is not written well and moves around, in space and time, as to be almost intentional misleading the reader. It is pathetic in its subjective portrayal of a weak mentally ill person. I don’t buy into the idea that because a person is adopted they are weak! They are weak because they choose to be so!
For adoptees and adoptive parents, I would recommend this book highly.
I, having actually read the thing, would recommend you use this book in the bathroom, if you were not worry about contamination from the printed words. You would be better off reading the birth sisters web blog to get a better well-rounded view of this author.
Ruth here –
I would like to know just what Hoksbergen means when he writes this sentance: “The father tires (tries) desperately, sometimes successfully but often not, to compromise between his children.”

Again, as he did in 1993, Dr. Hoksbergen is sticking his nose into MY family’s business. CHILDREN?  excuse me, sir, we were all adults with careers. Joan was the only one who refused to grow up, take on ADULT responsibilites and get a job. Many times, throughout the years that we birth siblings and our father tried to get across to Joan to GROW UP – GET A JOB – BECOME A MEANINGFUL CONTRIBUTOR TO SOCIETY. But she always has some excuse.

As to my father trying to “compromise” between us – what the hell does this mean? Along with Hoksbergen’s statement that there were feelings of jealousy, aggression and ignorance from us towards Joan. I ask you Dr. Hoksbergen – WHO TOLD YOU THIS? JOAN? Did you EVER talk to any of us? What feelings of jealousy and ignorance have I ever showed to Joan. What is ignorant is this so-called college professor to say this about me, a stranger to him. I’m ignorant? About what? Oh yeah – Joan’s pathetic life. Dr. Hoksbergen – I was busy building my own life. I had (still do) a career. As did ALL my siblings. We were supposed to stop OUR lives and understand Joan’s petty problems? Of what? She made the choice to marry a man who kept getting fired from jobs. She made the choice to be a stay-at-home mother. She made the choice NOT to get off her ass and get a job like millions of other lower-middle class people. – who also had children to raise. Get your head out of the 1950’s television shows Joan – life is NOT like Leave it to Beaver where the wife/mother stays home  and does nothing. Throughout history and all over the globe, women have had to work in the fields, in the homes and after the Industrial Revolution, in factories. As the menfolk hunted, the women worked together to weave cloths, huts, blankets, cook.  Women have always worked outside the home – as seamstresses, cooks, servants. If you can afford to make it  on one income – the husband’s – that’s great! But if not – and you sit on your ass at home then write a book and bitch and moan about how “poor” you are – you dam right Hoksbergen – I DIDN’T and NEVER WILL show sympathy to Joan for her “financial problems.” I know about financial problems RIGHT NOW. So what do I do? I GOT OFF MY ASS AND WORKED ON CHRISTMAS 2011 to compensate for the fact that my post-open heart surgery husband (aged 68 years) canNOT work extra time and as hard as he used to 30 years ago.

Hoksbergen claims I showed ignorance, aggression and jealousy towards Joan.

Ignorant of what? Joan’s emotional feelings of being adopted? Did Joan EVER put forth ANY attempts of trying to understand OUR emotional feelings? NO – she never did.

Jealousy? Of what? What does Joan have that I should be jealous of? Oh yes – she throws it in MY face that because I lost my son through miscarriage that I am jealous of her because she had two children. And I hated her kids. What a crock of shit and she should be ashamed of herself. I had my miscarriage in 1985, yet she says in her book that in 1989 we had outings to the beach WITH HER TWO CHILDREN. Joan contradicts herself in her book when she is trying to psycho-analyze me. And why is she psycho-analyzing me in the first place? I thought the book was about HER life as an adoptee, not MY life as a woman who’s son died. And Hoksbergen believes every f’ing word this idiot Joan feeds him.

Aggression? WHAT AGGRESSION? Oh yeah – when I slammed the phone down on Joan AFTER SHE STOLE HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS FROM ME. WHEN I CALLED THE POLICE AND TOOK HER TO COURT FOR STALKING AND HARASSING ME WHEN SHE WAS FALSELY ACCUSING ME OF COMPUTER HACKING AND CALLED MY JOB REPEATEDLY FOR MONTHS TRYING TO GET ME FIRED. Oh yes, I admit it – I was aggressive to Joan all right – WHEN I PRESSED HARASSMENT CHARGES ON HER FOR A SECOND TIME IN 1999 WHEN SHE WROTE ME A LETTER TELLING ME THAT MY INFERTILE HUSBAND GOT THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR PREGNANT!

Hoksbergen – you are as delusional as Joan because you took that lying snake’s words as truth.

Getting back to my father’s trying to compromise between us? Again, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Gert, the oldest sibling moved out of Buffalo in 1982, and actually knew NOTHING of the trouble that Joan was causing me. Kathy lived in England, and knew some of the things going on. My brother lived in Arizona, and knew NOTHING of what was going on. I NEVER TOLD MY FATHER ANYTHING. In 2004, when my father was in rehab following open heart surgery, I took my stepmother out to lunch and we were talking about Joan. THAT is when I told her of: Joan’s stealing money from me in 1990, Joan calling my job to get me fired, Joan writing me that letter about my husband getting a neighbor pregnant. My stepmother and my father KNEW NOTHING (FROM ME) ABOUT THE COURT PROCEEDINGS THAT I INSTITUTED AGAINST JOAN. When my stepmother found out – she cried. “We didn’t know this was all going on.”

WHO WAS YAKKING TO MY FATHER MAKING UP STORIES OF FIGHTING BETWEEN JOAN AND HER SIBLINGS? – JOAN – THAT’S WHO! And we were NOT fighting – it was Joan and her bullshit stalking and harrassments that I was TRYING TO GET STOPPED BY CALLING THE POLICE, THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY, THE COURTS.

It was and always has been Joan who was the trouble-maker, not just with me, but others. In my post of December 22, 2011, “some examples of Joan Wheeler’s bad behavior – why nobody wants to hang out with her”   I outline what Joan did to my cousin Gail. WHILE GAIL WAS BATTLING CANCER – she had to put up with Joan’s harassments. And Gail, who was like a sister to me, knowing what Joan did to me, wanted to prove to the family that it was NOT me, but JOAN doing all the trouble. She kept me out of the mess between her and Joan and it was GAIL who called my father to tell him what Joan was doing.

So Dr. Hoksbergen – you know NOTHING of what happened/happens in my family – and you need to publicly withdraw your support of Joan, and make a public apology to us – for your contribution to the slander and libel about me, and my sisters Kathy and Gert. Gert did NOT repeatedly sexually abuse Joan. I heard all about the little thing that happened  right after it happened – I heard it from both Gert and Joan – and it was ONE experiment that JOAN initiated – and what I heard from both of them, (separately) was the same thing. Joan told me that SHE initated it. Joan is no angel when it comes to these matters. In 1984, being married only one year, with an infant son at home, JOan was at Lulu’s – a roadhouse bar in Kitchener Ontario and had a party – I know about it because she called me up the next day and was crying about it that she didn’t want her husband to find out she cheated on him. And in 1991, she did it again and showed up at my house at 5am, drunk and crying that she cheated on her husband again.

IGNORANCE? Gee thanks Dr. Hoksbergen for calling me ignorant. Well, I never went to college. So I don’t have a college degree. But you, Dr. Hoksbergen, AND Joan, can take your college degrees and shove them where the sun don’t shine – because it is JOAN WHEELER and RENE HOKSBERGEN who are the ignorant ones.

reposting from Gert McQueen’s blog: Was Rene Hoksbergen ever really a friend to Joan Wheeler, or did she just use him like she does everyone? (originally published on December 23, 2011) December 26, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family.
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UPDATE…NOV 2015…

Joan M Wheeler has published a new ‘revision’ of the same old hate manifesto and renamed it ‘Duped by Adoption’. I have created a new blog and Facebook page…

Here are the links to my NEW blog and Facebook page

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

On Amazon, I have reviewed 7 reviews of this ‘new’ garbage book and created a ‘discussion’ on the Forward, by Rene Hoksbergen.

Here’s the link to the DISCUSSION about the FORWARD on Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/about-the-FORWARD-/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/Tx2ACMKSGGGG4SV/1/ref=cm_cd_dp_tp_cq?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW&cdSort=oldest#Mx16G15LCZTNM4X

Here’s the link to a recent blog post Nov 3, 2015 about the contents of the forward

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/11/03/doesnt-rene-hoksbergen-have-anything-better-to-do-in-his-retirement-than-to-continue-to-use-joan-m-wheelers-families-as-whipping-posts-in-a-new-forward/

Here are the related links to blog posts that Ruth and I have already written and addressed topics related to Rene Hoksbergen, the author of the Forward.

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2011/12/23/was-rene-hoksbergen-ever-really-a-friend-to-joan-wheeler-or-did-she-just-use-him-like-she-does-everyone/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/gert-mcqueens-review-of-rene-hoksbergens-review-of-forbidden-family-by-joan-wheeler/     this one is about the review in LAVAContact2  2010 English translation

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/26/reposting-from-gert-mcqueens-blog-was-rene-hoksbergen-ever-really-a-friend-to-joan-wheeler-or-did-she-just-use-him-like-she-does-everyone-originally-published-on-december-23-2011/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/05/16/emails-from-willem-koops-former-colleague-of-retired-professor-rene-hoksbergen-palsie-walsie-of-joan-wheeler/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/09/20/joan-wheeler-lies-about-dr-rene-hoksbergen-in-her-book-forbidden-family/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/10/14/

NOW BACK TO THIS POST

Ruth here. –
for the past several days, this blog has had some interesting guests. From Holland, where Professor Rene Hoksbergen, retired from Utrecht University lives. Prof. Hoksbergen is an “adoption expert.” I’m not interested in that. I AM interested in Prof. Hoksbergen’s interference with my family – from way back in 1993, when Joan enlisted his help. At that time,my sister Kathy was trying to get some belongings of her shipped from Buffalo, NY to her home in England. Joan had them in her attic for “safekeeping” and Kathy sent her some monies for the shipping. Joan kept stalling and somehow got the good professor involved in a family matter. The professor sends Kathy a condencsending letter and dared to lecture Kathy – a grown woman! – on her attitude towards adoptees! AND in the letter, he tells Kathy that it will cost about $500 to ship her things to her. – Kathy had no intention of Joan paying for everything – but when she got this letter – she complained to the university,  and enlisted the help of our father to get her things shipped. My father called up Joan and told her to bring the things to his house, which she did. My father, who did not have a car, managed to ship the things to Kathy in three shipments, each costing around $50.00, for a total of $150.00. Far less than what the professor was led to believe. (Joan had stolen several hundred dollars from me in 1990 and was moving on to Kathy to scam money out of – and in the end did NOT return all of Kathy’s belongings, keeping valuable Beatle memorabilia, thereby STEALING  these items). — Professor Hoksbergen also wrote the foreward to Joan’s lying book Forbidden Family in 2006. The book was published in 2009, Since several topics and events covered in the book happened (and were dated in the book by Joan) in the years 2007, 2008, and 2009, it is our belief that Joan did not show the professor a complete manuscript for him to read. She had several different versions of manuscripts. My father even said that he was given over the course of many years, different versions and excerpts to read – and it was constantly changing!
Joan wrote in the book that in the year 1989, Professor Hoksbergen came to my house with Joan and she described me yelling and screaming at him – an event that  NEVER happened. It is my belief that  Professor Hoksbergen wrote a foreward to this book, without seeing a manuscript that included this fictious event. Or if he did see this event chronicled in the book and still gave his approval of it – I question either his faulty memory OR his apparent APPROVAL of slander and libel of both me and him.
Whatever is going on with the good professor, – it don’t smell right and honest to me! So here is Gert’s original post from her blog. I was going to just publish a link to it, but I think whatever guests I have coming Holland should see this without too much bother of going to another website.  Of course they, and everyone else has an open invitation to see our sister site by Gert McQueen, Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor.   
But for now, here is Gert’s post, along with a comment of mine, at the end. Enjoy!
Joan Wheeler has always stated that her mentor Doctor Rene Hoksbergen was a very dear friend and very helpful to her. I have always had my doubts about that. With Joan’s consistency in making up stories, to make herself and her ’life’ believeable, I really wonder about how Hoksbergen really viewed her. I will never know of course but I can speculate; hey if Joan can speculate about things so can I!
 
The following comes, again, from the public forum of Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change.
 
The date of this post is old…September 6,  2010. But, this time period is very significant for many reasons. September 2010 was just about a year AFTER the lying hateful book Forbidden Family was published in November2009 and when we, the birth siblings, started to refute it in December 2009. September 2010 was also one year BEFORE Joan had one of several melt-downs on the public forum and JUST BEFORE she created the cyberbullying page against us because we would not stop refuting her book.
 
September 6, 2010 was also just BEFORE we made public, on Ruth’s blog, that I had been in touch with Joe Soell in May of 2010 and that I had written to Hoksbergen and his boss in October 2010! This is very important for Joe Soell had communications with me in May of 2010 and it is almost certain that he spoke with Hoksbergen about my complaint about Joan Wheeler.
 
So a question is placed on the forum and Joan emails her mentor, showing that she has ‘friends in high places’ and then posts his response. What I find interesting is that Joan doesn’t remove her OWN email address when she posts on a public forum, is she brain dead! Also, Hoksbergen doesn’t give any HINT of warmth towards her, he seems very COLD and to the point! Remember, that he has probably been told that I had communicated with Joe Soell.
 
Title: Birth Certificates
Post by: J on September 06, 2010, 02:33:45 AM
Hi everyone
An adoptive parent on a Dutch forum wrote that if his adopted child asks for his birthcertificate only the names of his adoptive parents are on there. Apparently, they changed the law. It was never like this. To him it feels like fraud. Is there a website about the OBC’s in the US which he can read and gives information about why adoptees are against this? He is very active, and I would like others to read it as well. 
 
Title: Re: Birth Certificates
Post by: He September 06, 2010, 07:19:31 AM
American Adoption Congress and Bastard Nation Websites make it quite clear 
 
Title: Re: Birth Certificates
Post by: C on September 06, 2010, 12:56:17 PM
I had my b-mother’s permission to get my original birth certificate.  It just said “Baby Girl ” and the b-mom’s last name. And the word, “Illegitimate” on the bottom.  The revised birth certificate had my a-parent’s names on it, erased the name of the hospital, and changed my birth date. 
The idea is that the privacy of the birth mom and the formation of the “new family” demanded that we issue birth certificates like this one.  Since that is how we are going to play, I had my full name legally changed and had a new birth certificate issued. It still has my adoptive parent’s names on it, but makes it clear that we are not related since my last name is not the same as either of theirs.  Take that! :gottabat2:   
 
Title: Re: Birth Certificates
Post by: 1adoptee on September 06, 2010, 06:21:44 PM
I emailed Dr. Rene Hoksbergen of The Adoption Center, University of Utrecht, The Netherlands about this and this is his reply:Van: Joan M Wheeler [mailto:wheejm@yahoo.com]
Verzonden: maandag 6 september 2010 16:10
Aan: r.a.c.hoksbergen@uu.nl
Onderwerp: Dutch birth certificate for adoptee – question
RE: Dutch birth certificate for adoptee – question
You have your birthcert. And adoptioncert. Nothing changed in holland.
 
Gert here again:
Don’t you think that this great ‘mentor’ should have given Joan a bit more information about the question at hand? All he does is state the obvious to Joan about Joan…namely that SHE has her birth and adoptive certificate and nothing has changed?
 
And now it appears that SOMEONE from Holland has been reading our blogs!! Could it be Rene Hoksbergen himself?
 
For further reading on the topic of informing people about Joan’s lies and activities see the following posts on Ruth’s blog. A liar can NEVER cover all their tracks…the truth always comes out!
 
 
 
 
 
 

What I find interesting and amusing is that several months ago I sent Hoksbergen a private message via facebook upbraiding him for his support of Joan Wheeler – and I told him in no uncertain terms that he needs to drop support of Joan because of the lies she told about him and me in her book. She says that he came to my house – he was NEVER in my house. She describes me as yelling and screaming at him – no, I never did. I met him once – AT JOAN’S HOUSE. And I barely spoke to the man as I am shy around new people – besides, unlike Joan, I HAVE MANNERS.

I challenged Hoksbergen to come forward and TELL THE TRUTH about his meeting me, his never being in my house, my never yelling at him. – He hasn’t had the courage to come forward. WHY?

Another amusing point – I sent Hoksbergen a friend request on facebook – AND HE ACCEPTED IT! What an ass! I don’t want to be his friend – I wanted to see what he was going to do!

So – he is one my facebook friend list AND on Joan’s facebook friends list. What is he trying to prove? Is he spying on me? Well fine – because when a real juicy blog post here on Gert’s blog – or my blog – gets publicized on my facebook page, it automatically shows up on the newsfeeds of ALL my friends – Hoksbergen included. So he can see right away what we write on our blogs about HIM (when we do) and his little “friend” Joni Wheeler. — wonder just how “friendly” they were! ha ha ha. – I don’t know about the professor – but I sure know about Joan.

My complaint to Trafford Publications concerning the slander and libel contained in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler November 30, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Our Family History, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Here it is – at long last – my official complaint to Trafford Publications – the complaint that made them take a look at the book they published. The contract they had with Joan Wheeler was that the book was “ready-to-publish” that is, all editing for content had been done already.

Let me explain. Trafford is a publishing vehicle for authors to self-publish their works. Trafford offers several packages. They offer editing services, but Joan opted out of that. I wonder why? Because one of the articles of the standard contract Trafford offers to their prospective authors is: no obscenities. Yet on page 370 Joan publishes a post card that she received in the mail that had obscenities written on it. (and as usual – she blames ME for it – even tho the handwriting is not mine). – Anyway, she slipped that in under Trafford’s nose – she told Trafford that the book had already been edited for content. Therefore, nobody at Trafford ever read the entire manuscript – they took Joan at her word and published it.

Joan also signed the contract that stated that no slander or libel was contained in the book. She signed the contract under false pretenses. In my last two posts, A Letter I wrote to the district attorney in 1995 sheds light on Joan Wheeler’s harassments of me and refutes the lies on pages 325-333 in her book Forbidden Family  and  Graphics of scanned court documents, etc. that prove without a doubt that Joan Wheeler is a liar in her book Forbidden Family,  I outlined many lies contained in only pages 295 – 342, and provided actual court documents and actual letters (one hand-written by Joan, one typed out, and contains a hand-written note by Joan), that refuted those lies contained in only less than 50 pages in that hideous 600 page plus book.

When Joan signed the contract with Trafford, they took her word the book contained no slander or libel and published the book. When they received my complaint (along with one from Gert), it took them from January 2011 to May 2011 to research my complaint. In other words – someone from Trafford FINALLY sat down and read the garbage they had unwittingly published.  Not only did they have to read the garbage that Joan wrote – they had to look through the court documents that I sent them. Then they had to sift through all the convoluted lies and twisting of facts, events, dates that Joan did on those few 50 pages and that I outlined in my post A Letter I wrote to the district attorney in 1995 sheds light on Joan Wheeler’s harassments of me and refutes the lies on pages 325-333 in her book Forbidden Family .

The result? Trafford’s editors and legal staff agreed that Joan, by signing the contract under false pretenses, LIED to them and pulled the wool over their eyes. Their only recourse was to: PULL THAT GARBAGE BOOK  FROM PUBLICATION.

I also pointed out to Trafford that the photograph on the back cover of that garbage book is of ME and my siblings and parents. Joan had no right to publish that photograph. It was taken in 1955. Joan was not born until 1956.She was adopted out a year later. She was given COPY of it almost 20 years later. Copies of that family photograph were distributed to many family members during the 1950’s and 1960’s. One of the articles in the contract that Joan entered into with Trafford was that she “was the sole copyright owner of all content of the work.” She did not, and DOES NOT own the copyrights to MY photograph. Joan has a little blurb on her website that the faces are blurry and obscured by text – that is just her trying to get out of the mess that SHE alone got herself into. When I pointed out to Trafford (in a telephone call with Eugene Hopkins, at 11:am on May 9, 2011), that Joan did not get permission from ME (orally or written) to publish MY photograph – Mr. Hopkins agreed right then and there to PULL THE BOOK FROM PUBLICATION!

That happened on May 9, 2011, and to this day, November 30, 2011, Joan, in her delusional state, her continual REFUSAL TO FACE REALITY – still has a link on her website that directs “buyers” of this garbage book to a sales page on Trafford’s website – a page THAT NO LONGER EXISTS because Trafford pulled it down!

Joan Wheeler is a pathological LIAR – she not only lies to people to their face, she lies on the internet. She spent more than half of her life writing her precious book – the book that she invested so much wasted time and energy on – finally got the stupid thing published, but then got it pulled because she not only LIED in the book – she LIED to the publisher that it contained no lies.

AND this delusional LIAR has a facebook page promoting this book. A DEAD BOOK!  Ok, she made the page over a year ago – but it’s still in existence. BUT – she recently (October 2011) created an account on The Huffington Post, using this page. A page that promotes a DEAD BOOK! (because she can’t register on Huffington under her regular facebook page – thanks to her posting some lying shit about us back in March 2011 – and she got booted off of Huffington).  So what does she do – she re-registers under false pretenses. Using a dead book. Will she never learn NOT TO LIE?

So here is my complaint. There is a list of documents – I’m not going to post them all. Go here to this post to see only a couple of them. They are enough to back up my TRUTH of what happened. And to show how Joan Wheeler LIED in her book about me.

Part 1 of complaint of Ruth Sippel Pace

Re: book, Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler, published by Trafford

 Submission by Ruth Sippel Pace, birth sister of Joan Wheeler, author of the book Forbidden Family.

 For consideration of Trafford Publishing to rescind their contract with Ms. Wheeler regarding the publication of this book, on the grounds that the book contains many falsehoods, slanderous statements about me, Ruth Sippel Pace and other members of my family. The book also contains references to my life, which are personal in nature, and the author has not been given my permission to discuss with anyone, nor publish them in a book.

    Also, my photograph is published on the back cover, my face is clear, even though it is a picture of me as a child. I never gave permission for this picture to be published. The picture of my father’s face is clear. The author’s stance of her changing the names of living person’s in the book is enough to provide privacy does not hold up to the fact that she uses her own real name, Joan Wheeler in the book, identifies the city of her birth and the city of the birth of her birth siblings, as that of Buffalo, New York. Any person with any reasonable intelligence and who ever knew my father, would recognize his picture on the back cover of the book and put names to people mentioned in the book. My father worked for the city of Buffalo in Buffalo’s City Hall for more than 30 years and is well known. We also have a large family, and the Wheeler clan is also very large. Also, the details of Joan’s adoption have been publicized in the past, via a television interview of Joan and myself (together), and newspaper interviews of Joan and my father (separately). In the case of the television interview, both my face and Joan’s were in clear view, and our names were given on camera. In the newspaper articles, both my father, and Joan, had their photographs published, with their names published with the photos.

 In a conversation between my sister Gert McQueen and Mr. Tubio, Mr. Tubio requested the most telling of the lies we have found in the book Forbidden Family. I will start by refuting Joan’s narration of court cases that Joan and I were involved in against each other. This narration is on the following pages: 314 – 317, 322-333, 362-368. Unfortunately, Joan not only lies about actual events that happened between us, and the court cases, but mixes up the court cases with each other until there is such a convoluted narration of these events, that I have to resort to first telling you in a few short paragraphs, exactly what happened before I can point out any slanderous comments that are contained in these pages. I do have, scanned copies of actual court documents that support the truth of what happened. These are included at the end of this email, are listed as thus:

 01 -Joan’s complaint July 9, 1993

02a – restraining order Aug 9,93 – Feb 9,94

02b – closeup dates restraining order Aug 9,93 – Feb 9,94

02c – closeup name restraining order Aug 9,93 – Feb 9,94

03 – Joan’s letter to Albany, New York Dec 31, 94

04 – Ruth’s complaint 3-7-95

05 – Joan’s letter to John

06 – summons April 19 95

07  – certificate from Buffalo Police Academy 8-29-98

08  – Ruth’s petition to Family Court 6-4-99

09 – summons to Family Court 6-4-99

10 – temporary restraining. 6-4-99

11 – one year restraining order June 24, 99 – June 24, 00

 When it is necessary to refer to these evidence documents, during my narrative and the narrative contained in the book, I will be referring to them by their assigned number.

My second email contains the remainder of the many lies and invasions of my privacy that are contained in this book.

 I have listed the page number first, then the quote from the book in bold, and my objection/telling of the truth follows. Joan Wheeler refers to me, Ruth Sippel Pace as Brenda in her book. It is my contention that Ms. Wheeler’s purpose for writing the book is a means of revenge and hurting people that have ever disagreed with her. There are many personal attacks on me in this book. Throughout the book, Ms. Wheeler portrays me as an uneducated inner city ghetto dweller with a foul mouth and a person who drinks all the time. I have found many personal hateful slurs directed at me in this book. I believe she included these slurs in an attempt to hurt me, as she has done many things to me in the past 25 years to hurt me. For example, she made a complaint to my job that I was a computer hacker. After they investigated me, found me innocent, and told her this, she would NOT accept it. She called my job almost everyday for several months trying to get me fired. This book is just a continuation of Ms. Wheeler’s hate campaign against myself and others. Throughout the book, Ms. Wheeler puts words into other people’s mouths, those words usually are her own thoughts and she does this to lend credence to her fantasy that people agree with her on the topic she is writing about. And to lend credence that people actually DID agree with her, as she reports in the book.

    Right from the beginning, Ms. Wheeler presents a falsehood:

Page xvi

“I believe I have written a fair and accurate account.” “ This is my story as it happened to me.”

 I have caught Ms. Wheeler in many out and out lies that cannot be construed as a faulty memory, the most telling is blatant falsifications of actual court proceedings between Ms. Wheeler and myself and the decisions of the court.

     The court proceedings between me and Joan had their beginnings in 1990 when Joan and her ex-husband stole several hundred dollars from me. Between 1990-1992, there were many arguments between us over this. The theft of the money was one of previous misdeeds Joan had done to me.  It got to the point that in disgust, I told Joan I wanted nothing more to do with her. In February 1993, just before Valentine’s Day, I received a greeting card in the mail. Actually, the envelope was addressed to me. Inside was a Valentine’s Day card, for my husband, supposedly from Joan’s children. It was not a Valentine’s card that children hand out, it was a specialty card, for a “special Uncle.” (this was just the beginning of Joan’s playing games with the mail. I received many envelopes addressed to me, but the letter inside was for my sister Gert (who did not live in Buffalo, or the envelope was addressed to me and my husband, with the letter for me. Joan would also manipulate the return address and zip-codes so that if I attempted to refuse it and “return to sender” the post office’s machines would spit it back for delivery back to me). In May 1993, another envelope addressed to me arrived, inside was a forged letter – supposedly from my 10 year old nephew to my husband, but on close examination, you could tell the sloppy printing was Joan’s.

    During this time, Joan was receiving annoyance phone calls and she suspected me. She called the police and the phone company and arranged to have her line tapped. To ensure that I would call her, she sent a Father’s Day card, supposedly from her children, to my husband, and again, the envelope was addressed to me. And I took the bait. I called her, and she said, “hold on.” Click. ?? I called back. “Hold on.” Click. I called again, “Joan, this is Ruth.” I intended to ask why the envelopes were addressed to me, but the contents were for my husband, but then Joan swore at me and hung up. I got tired of her game and gave up.

    The following week, my electricity was cut off, as my husband and I were undergoing some financial difficulties. Knowing that Joan owed me over $700.00, I called her. I was crying and said, “Joan, I need help.” She hung up on me. I tried a couple more times. She kept hanging up on me. I got angry and called her and swore at her.

    Shortly afterwards, I got a call from Buffalo Police Detective Martin Harrington, who wanted to know why I was calling Joan. I told him exactly what I just wrote here. He said he believed me, and would recommend that Joan drop any charges against me. She went ahead and filed harassment charges on me, signing the complaint on July 9, 1993. (DOC 01) I do not have the summons for that court case, but appeared in front of Judge Robert Russell on August 9, 1993, where Joan was granted a six-month Order of Protection against, on ACD. (Adjournment on Consideration of Dismissal). (DOC 02a). The writing is hard to read, so you must look at DOCS 02b and 02c to make out my name, and dates of the duration of the six-month restraining order – August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994.

     Sometime in 1994, Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill from my employer (Buffalo General Hospital) got mixed up with a bill from another patient. Ms. Wheeler accused me of computer hacking and lodged a formal complaint with my employer. I was investigated and found innocent but Ms. Wheeler would not accept this. For several months, beginning in the fall of 1994 and continuing through January 1995, she was calling various departments in the hospital and telling numerous people how “bad” I was.  On December 22, 1994, a child abuse call was made against Ms. Wheeler. The caller identified themselves as me, saying that Ms. Wheeler had sex with my husband in front of her children. On December 31, 1994, Ms. Wheeler wrote to the New York State Department of Social Services, Child Abuse Maltreatment Register, in Albany, New York, to request a copy of the information of that call. (DOC 03).  In that letter, Joan refers to our court case of August 9, 1993, and informs them that I was put on six months “probation.”

    As my then fiancé, John Pace was named in the child abuse call, he was involved in talks with the Child Protective Services people, but HE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING, BECAUSE HE KNEW THAT I DIDN’T PLACE THE CALL. HE WANTED TO KEEP ME OUT IT, WHILE HE WAS TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT WAS GOING ON.

    The first I heard of this was in February 1995, when I received a large manila envelope from Ms. Wheeler. Inside were copies of letters that she wrote to the mayor of Buffalo, the commissioner of our local (Erie County) social services department, the formal complaint she wrote to my employer, and the letter of December 31, 1994 that she wrote to Albany New York. When I read the lie about me being placed on probation in 1993, I filed harassment charges against Ms. Wheeler on March 7, 1995.  (DOC 04). On March 17, 1995, Ms. Wheeler sent a letter to my fiancé via his mother’s house begging him to ask me to drop the charges and urged him to leave me. (DOC 05).

    We appeared before Judge Margaret Anderson three times, because it was adjourned twice due to a lack of time in the courtroom for the first two dates. On the first date of April 3, 1995, Judge Anderson instructed the court that no children were to be brought to the court. At the next court appearance of April 19, 1995, (afternoon session), (DOC 06), Ms. Wheeler did bring her two children, but they stayed out in the hallway with her friend Carol, even though it was a school day. At one point in the court, while we were waiting for our case to be called, I left to use the ladies room. I saw Carol and the children, but said nothing. Our case was adjourned to a date in May 1995. On this date, Judge Anderson dismissed my case against Ms. Wheeler, saying that “sisters should get along.” I thanked the judge for considering my case and left.

    I continued receiving harassing letters from Ms. Wheeler through the next several years. I ignored her. In the meantime, I involved myself in organizing a block club for my street, and became a neighborhood activist to improve the quality of life in my neighborhood. As part of this, I took a short course through the Buffalo Police Academy to be a VIABLE volunteer (Volunteers in Aiding Buffalo Law Enforcement). To be considered for this, candidates had to undergo a background check, and since I had a clean record (the one six-month restraining order had been summarily dismissed, because I had abided by the judge’s instructions to me to stay away from Ms. Wheeler). I had no arrest record, no record of probation, nothing. I was awarded my certificate and appointment to the VIABLE program on August 29, 1998. (DOC 07).

    On February 15, 1999, I received another letter from Joan, and in it she tells me that her son saw me driving past her house (DOC 08). This was a lie, as I didn’t even have a car at that time. I called her house to tell her to leave me alone and a male answered, and I hung up, saying nothing. I then sent her a letter telling her to leave me alone. I told her that I did not have a car, did not drive past her house. And that since she had a man now, she should concentrate on her own life and to leave me and MY man alone.

    Then on February 23, 1999, I received an envelope addressed to me. I did not recognize the return address, but inside was a letter to me from Ms. Wheeler, informing me that my husband had gotten the next door neighbor pregnant and the child was born in 1994 (totally untrue, as the only children born to women living in that house were 2 boys). (DOC 09).

    I met with the woman who lived at the address on the envelope – she was Carol, Joan’s friend who was in the court with Joan’s children. Carol told me that the previous year, Joan had been asking for a “hit man” to take me out. I went to the District Attorney’s office and they said that because it was hearsay, they couldn’t do anything about it. I spent the next two months trying to get harassment charges filed against Joan. I got another manila envelope from Joan, which I refused to open. I returned it, marking it “return to sender” and Joan then manipulated the return address and it came back to my house. I decided to return it to her in person. A neighbor drove me to Joan’s house. His car was leaking transmission oil and he kept a can of oil on hand. He suggested I put the oil on the envelope to prevent Joan from putting it in the postal service again. Which we did and I threw the envelope up on her lawn.

     This resulted in Joan calling my house and swearing at me. I talked to several people and they suggested I petition Family Court, as the District Attorneys were tired of the both of us sisters and not taking this matter seriously. On June 4, 1999, I did just that. (DOC 10). They listened to my complaint, and in front of me, they went into the court computer system and found the two previous court cases involving Ms. Wheeler and myself (1993 and 1995). They typed this information onto the complaint that I signed, issued a summons for both me and Joan to appear in Family Court on June 24, 1999. (DOC 11), and granted me a temporary restraining order ON THE SPOT (DOC 12). On June 24, 1999, Judge Margaret Szczur made the temporary restraining order permanent. (DOC 13).

 Now we shall examine how Ms. Wheeler presents these facts in her book Forbidden Family.

 Pages 314 – 315

Joan is discussing a conversation she is having with Det. M. H. The subject of her threatening to report our sister Kathy to the British Immigration Department comes up, as well as a couple of my pets.

 Det. H. did not know that there was any threat to call The Home Office – Back in 1989, Joan got into a snit with Kathy and said to me, “I ought to call immigration on her.” (as a revenge tactic). I told her not to do that. And I hadn’t told Kathy what Joan threatened to do, because Joan promised me she wouldn’t make the call. I eventually did tell Kathy, but it was AFTER this alleged conversation takes place. Joan alleges that the detective asks Joan who Brandy Sippel is, because supposedly, my phone bill is listed under that name. Which is false. Joan tells the detective that Brandy is one of my cats. False, Brandy was my dog. She mentions another one of my cats on page 315, Francoise (this conversation with the detective is supposedly taking place in February 1993). My cat Francoise had been put to sleep in 1992.

 Page 316 time frame – February/March 1993

“the detective issued a warrant for Brenda’s arrest to appear in a Buffalo Court. A Restraining Order was then issued to keep her away from me for a year.”

 Lie. Joan signed the complaint about annoyance calls from me on July 9, 1993, not in February or March 1993. The calls weren’t made until June 1993. see documents 01, Also an arrest warrant was NOT issued. What was issued was a summons to me by the court, not the detective, to appear in court. When a person is summoned into court, and they do NOT appear, THEN an arrest warrant is issued, and this warrant is issued by the COURT, not any police officer. As I did appear in court, no arrest warrant was ever issued, and I was never placed under arrest. Also the Order of Protection was for a period of six months, NOT one year. (DOCS 02a, 02b, 02c).  And this was issued ACD – Adjournment on Consideration of Dismissal, which means that if I stayed away from Joan for the six months, all charges would be dismissed. I did abide by the court’s orders – I stayed away from her and the charges were dismissed. We appeared in court on August 9, 1993, and the Order of Protection was for the dates August 9, 1993 – February 9, 1994.

 Pages 323-324

Joan is describing an event that took place on Saturday, July 31, 1993 (but she reports in the book it was for August 1, 1993. She and ex-husband were moving and had enlisted the help of my husband. Joan reports that I followed him to her house in my car, began screaming at him in the street, went up to Joan and accused her of having an affair with my husband. Joan says that four witnesses heard me screaming in the street. On page 323 she says: “The Restraining Order against Brenda wasn’t good enough to keep her away. On August 1, 1993…”

 Lies, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.

As we had not appeared in court yet, nor the restraining order set in place yet, I was in no violation of a restraining order on July 31, or August 1, 1993. I did not follow my husband in my car, we did not have a car at the time. I took the bus there. I had told my husband in the past I did not want him going to Joan’s house because of the trouble she was causing me. He continued to go there to visit with the children. I also repeated this request on July 31, 1993, and Joan overheard me, as she was standing nearby. I was not screaming at him in the street. I did not at any time accuse them of having an affair. I would also like to know who the four witnesses to my screaming are. I did not see four people outside the house. I did see ONE woman standing in Joan’s doorway, while Joan was standing outside the doorway, while my husband and I were on the sidewalk in front of the house. After I talked to my husband, who agreed to return home, I went across the street where Joan’s husband Colby Bell was putting things in his car. As I went to talk to him, it was JOAN who started the screaming, at her husband Colby — that he was not to talk to me. Joan then yelled at MY husband, who was walking down the street away from Joan’s house, that he should not be listening to me and he better leave me. It was at THIS point that I did yell back at Joan to shut up, and just because she can rule over HER husband, she wasn’t going to rule over mine, nor me. It was at this point, two of her friends came out of the house and they were looking at disgust at Joan.  I then left and walked down the street to join my husband.

 Page 325

“Brenda didn’t abide by the Order. She continued telephoning me at Brian’s house. Four months of harassment followed. … I had just come home from filing yet another harassment charge against Brenda in a different town jurisdiction.”

 Lies, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace, contradictory statement by Joan.

I did abide by the Order. I did not telephone Brian’s house, as I did not know where he lived, nor the phone number. I did not harass Joan for four months. No additional harassment charges were filed against me in 1993. The contradiction and proof of this lie: if I were in violation of the restraining order, and she did indeed file additional harassment charges against me, I would have been placed under arrest. This did NOT happen.

 Page 328

“The harassment charges against Brenda were dropped.”

 Lie. There were no additional harassment charges against me.

 Pages 328-329

Joan describes an event in early December 1993 of a child abuse call that was placed against her and the call also implicated my husband. “It was obvious that Brenda made this ‘anonymous’ report.”

 Lie, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. The child abuse call was made on December 22, 1994. The caller identified themselves as Ruth Sippel and named my husband. It is NOT obvious that I made this call. What IS obvious is that if I were going to make a prank child abuse call, I would NOT use my real name, nor name my husband and risk him getting into trouble. See DOC 03, Joan’s letter to the New York State Department of Social Services, Child Abuse and Maltreatment Register, in Albany, New York, dated December 31, 1994, which lists the correct date of the child abuse call, which was December 22, 1994. In this letter, Joan states: “We know this report was made by Ruth.” How could she “know?” The matter had just begun it’s investigation. Also Joan states, regarding the court case in 1993 over the telephone calls and she was granted the six months restraining order: “Ruth was found guilty and placed on six months probation.” Here we see ABSOLUTE PROOF of Joan’s history of lying to people about me. And to official people in law enforcement and child protective services!

 Page 329 time frame – December 1993 to about March 1994

“What followed the allegations of child abuse and neglect were three months of court dates waiting for the first charges to be cleared.”

 Lies. There were NO court dates between Joan and I during these months. See DOC 10, of my petition to Family Court, June 4, 1999, that lists the 2 prior court case between Joan and I were in 1993 and 1995, NOT 1994.

 Page 329-330 time frame – early 1994

“Our only recourse was to seek and Order of Protection. Three months of court dates followed. I brought my children to court as they were part of the case and needed to see for themselves just what was going on.”

 Lie, there were no court dates between Joan and myself in 1994.

Admission to possible child abuse – Joan does not say that her children were required to be in court, she says she BROUGHT them to a court case between adults. In 1994, her children were aged 10 and 7. Why would anyone drag young children to court to witness this?

 Pages 329 –330 time frame in the book – early 1994

“Three months of court dates followed.”

 Lies, mixing up years of court dates. The court case Joan is referring here happened in 1995, the case that I brought against her, appearing before Judge Margaret Anderson three times, because it was adjourned twice due to a lack of time in the courtroom for the first two dates. On the first date of April 3, 1995, Judge Anderson instructed the court that no children were to be brought to the court. At the next court appearance of April 19, 1995, (afternoon session), (DOC 06), Ms. Wheeler did bring her two children, but they stayed out in the hallway with her friend Carol, even though it was a school day. At one point in the court, while we were waiting for our case to be called, I left to use the ladies room. I saw Carol and the children, but said nothing.

 Page 330

“The court broke for lunch. The room full of people went to the lobby. My ten-year old son and seven year old daughter went up to the drinking fountain. I was at their side. Aunt Brenda came up to them and yelled, “You see what your mother is doing to me? You see? She drags you in court to see your poor Aunt go through this.”

 Lie. This never happened. NEVER. We were NEVER in court in 1994. At no time did I EVER disrespect her children. Telling sign this is a lie (despite the actual court documents): Joan does not say she approached a court bailiff, the prosecutor, judge or any one of many sheriff’s deputies that are always standing on guard to prevent these kinds of altercations. 

 Page 330

“Mom and I were granted an Order of Protection against Brenda in the summer of 1994. It was good for one year.”

 Lie. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Again, refer to DOC 10, my petition to Family Court, June 4, 1999, that lists the 2 prior court case between Joan and I were in 1993 and 1995, NOT 1994.

    Also, how could Joan and her mother and her children attend three months of court case in early 1994, Joan and her mother obtain an Order of Protection against me in the summer of 1994, over a child abuse call that HAD NOT BEEN PLACED YET? The call was not made until December 22, 1994, and we have Joan’s letter to Albany (DOC 03) to prove this.

   Also, nowhere in the book does Joan refer to the harassment charges I placed against her in 1995.

 Page 332

“Toward the end of May 1994 … my mother were … in the middle of ugly court dates against Brenda.”

 Lie, as stated above, there were no court dates for any court case between Joan and me in 1994.

 Pages 332- 333 – time frame 1994

Joan is describing the mix-up of her hospital bill. On page 333, she writes: “ A letter arrived a month later stating the error was attributed to a computer glitch and that my sister wasn’t involved. I wasn’t convinced. I called the head of the billing department and told him everything that was going on and that I wanted no further contact from Brenda.”

 Admission of Joan’s invading Ruth’s privacy. Proof of Joan having delusions. Proof of Joan not accepting what is true. She made a complaint of computer hacking against me. My employer investigated her complaint. Found that I did not do it. COULD not do it, as I work 11pm to 7am and the computers on the nursing stations ARE NOT EVEN CONNECTED TO THE BILLING DEPARTMENT COMPUTERS. My employer told Joan I was innocent, but Joan refuses to believe it. She is so full of hate against me, that no matter what nice thing any one says about me – she will fly into a rage over it and will not accept it.

 Page 333 – time frame in the book 1994

“A few days later, a padded manila envelope appeared on my front lawn. I picked it up. It was covered with a slimy greasy substance that I guessed to be cooking oil. … I was stupid enough to open it up. A note inside stated that ‘You, Joan, have been cut out of my life forever.’ Out tumbled photographs. … cut from ordinary 35 mm photos … they were photos of me, photos of my children. Since there was only one of my sisters living in Buffalo, I knew who had done this—-Brenda.”

 Lies, mixing up calendar years of events. As I had already indicated in my narration of The Feud between Joan and myself in the beginning of this complaint, this envelope was the one that I had received from JOAN in the year of 1999. This is the one that I refused to accept, marked “return to sender,” but Joan had manipulated the return address zip code so that the envelope would not returned to her house, but come to my house. This was the envelope that I decided to return to her in person. A neighbor drove me to Joan’s house. His car was leaking transmission oil and he kept a can of oil on hand. He suggested I put the oil on the envelope to prevent Joan from putting it in the postal service again. Which we did and I threw the envelope up on her lawn.  (Ruth’s note, November 30, 2011 – When I submitted this complaint, I made an error – I myself had mixed up a couple of events. My neighbor D. did have a car that leaked transmission fluid. At the time that John and I did not have a car. And he would take me grocery shopping – we would frequently have to stop to add transmission fluid, as I would have to a few years later, when I got a clunker car. I only realized my mistake a few months ago (July 2011) when I found a manilla folder that contained the actual letter that I wrote and then I realized my mistake. I’m human, just like everybody else. And when I make a mistake, I own up to it. Joan whines that her book is “to the best of her recollection.” But there is NO way that can be true – I can allow SOME forgetfulness – but to be saying we were in court when we weren’t – to say the court ruled this or that way, when it didn’t, to say that I was arrested, when I was not, to say that she herself was arrested, when she never was – is NOT forgetfulness – it is out and out LIES).

   Also, I never sent “cut up” photos of her to her EVER. I did cut her pictures out of photos in my personal photo album, but I had thrown them in the garbage. She only knows of the “cut up” photos, because she had looked at my photo albums in the year 2003 and saw that she had been cut out of my personal photos. We see Joan in all her vindictive glory here, she herself sent me the manila envelope, to make sure she would get it back unopened, I had to resort to putting oil on it so she could not use the post office again in her harassment of me. Then she reports the wrong year of the event, then she takes an event that happened in another year, and pads up her hate campaign against me to say that I was the responsible for the envelope in the first place. AND sent her photographs in an envelope that came from her originally, and I returned to her UNOPENED!

 Page 361

Ms. Wheeler describes herself calling my cousin on the phone and screaming at her.

 Admission of Ms. Wheeler harassing Gail.

 Page 363

Ms. Wheeler describes that Gail called the police. And that the Town of Eden, New York police called her on the phone. And then she was summoned into court for harassment.

 This is true. Because Gail knew of the harassment that I was receiving from Ms. Wheeler and as she was going through a divorce, as well as battling cancer, she was not going to accept being harassed.

 Page 363

Ms. Wheeler describes her talking to her friend Carol who suggested to Joan to write me a letter using her return address. The letter I received was a hate letter informing me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant.

Ms. Wheeler describes me as harassing Carol. (DOC 09)

 Lies, twisting of facts, not reporting the facts as they happened.

Yes, I got a letter from Joan from that address. However, Carol did NOT give Joan permission to use her address. And this is a contradiction of Joan’s behavior. She does not want letters from me, but goes ahead and writes letters to me. When I received the letter from Carol’s house, I went to her house. She wasn’t home and the name on the mailbox was not Joan. I left a note listing my name and address and asked why a harassing letter from Joan came from her house to me. I returned to her house a few days later and Carol said that her and Joan had been friends, had a falling out, and no, she did not give permission for Joan to use her address. Carol said that by doing this, Joan was showing her anger at both me and her. Carol began harassment charges on Joan the next day. While I was at Carol’s house, she informed that Joan had made a death threat against me and the next day, I also began harassment charges against Joan. This was also the same month that the Town of Eden Police (and NOT Gail) filed harassment charges against Joan.

    See DOCS 08 and 09 to see the hate mail that I was receiving from Joan. 09 was the one that came with Carol’s return address and we see again Joan’s history of lying about the outcome of the court cases. She once again states that I was placed on six months probation, which I was not.

 Page 364

Ms. Wheeler says that she was arrested three times in one month due to these three harassment charges.

 Lies. She was not arrested. She was “summoned” to appear in court. An arrest warrant would have been issued if she did not appear in court. Since she did appear for all three of these harassment charges, she was not arrested. Please see accompanying documentation that she was “summoned” into Family Court due to my harassment charge against her. (document number 08).

 Page 364 time frame 1999

Ms. Wheeler describes the judge (a male) as not letting me talk and that he kept cutting me off, and that me and my best friend sat directly in front of her and her mother. She also says that I was waving around a document from the Buffalo Police Academy. She does say that in the court case between me and her, I was given a one-year Order of Protection against her.

 Lies. Combining two different court cases. Contradictory behavior of the judge as reported by Joan.

 The court case that the judge dismissed my harassment charges against Joan was in 1995. It was Judge Margaret Anderson who dismissed the charges saying “sisters should get along.” Judge Anderson did let me speak, and yes, I was not pleased with her decision, but I accepted it. I did not have the document from the Buffalo Police Academy until 1998, where I attended a course there. (DOC 07). A pre-requisite would be a thorough background check on me conducted by the Buffalo Police Department showing that I have a clean record. Which I had, despite Joan saying on page 316 that I was placed under arrest. Part of my harassment charge against Ms. Wheeler was her slandering me by saying that I had an arrest record.

    The court case in 1999 was in Family Court, under Judge Margaret Szczur, who also let me speak, and granted me an Order of Protection against Ms. Wheeler for the duration of one year. I did show the certificate of my graduation from the Academy as proof that I did indeed have a clean record. I did not wave it around, I handed it to the judge. The course was in conjunction with my work with the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs, under the supervision of then Police Commissioner Rocco Diina, and my city councilman __ . Incidentally, it was Councilman ____ who suggested to me that I institute harassment charges against Joan through Family Court.

    If the judge would not let me speak and present my case, why then would she grant me the Order of Protection against Joan.

 Page 365

Ms. Wheeler describes myself and my best friend as loudly proclaiming in the court that we were superior to her because we took the police course.

 Lies. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Mixing up 2 different court cases. My friend did not take the course with me. My friend was not in the court in this case either. The date she accompanied me was in April 1995. As I did not attend the Academy until 1998, this could not have happened. At no time during the three court cases that I was involved in with Ms. Wheeler did I show any disrespect to any judge or court official, nor did I act out in court.

 Page 365

Ms. Wheeler describes me as throwing computer discs at her in the courtroom. She says her manuscript was on the hard drive of the computer and “it was clear that Brenda downloaded the files.”

 Lies. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. When I was at her friend Carol’s house, Carol had told me that she had received as a gift, an old computer from Joan.. She had called Joan a week prior to come and take it back. Joan refused. Carol put it out on her back porch. She informed Joan that it was going in the garbage. When I came to her house, Carol gave it to me, as it was now her property and she could do what she wanted with it. She also gave me a box that contained computer discs. I brought them with me to the court and when Joan’s lawyer approached me to ask me a question, I gave the discs to him to give to Joan, as they were labeled as chapters of her book. I had not looked at the discs. Her manuscript was not on the hard drive of the computer, but on separate computer discs. And how can anyone determine if someone downloaded files by simply looking at a disc?

   As to me throwing things in a court room, if I had thrown computer discs at her in the court room, I would have been arrested for contempt of court. This did not happen, because I never disrespected the court, nor Joan.

 Part 2 of complaint of Ruth Sippel Pace

Re: book, Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler, published by Trafford

 Page 8

“We got drunk one night…Brenda picked up the phone…we were drinking and got silly. Brenda panicked…didn’t know what to do. “ “I remember that phone call, I didn’t know anyone by the name of Brenda. I heard giggles and the phone went dead.”

 I, Ruth called Joan at 1:30pm from Gert’s workplace, a dentist’s office, during a non-patient day, we knew Joan’s name, but not her address. I began calling Wheelers in the phone book. When Joan answered, I did not give my name at all. I did ask for Joan, did ask where she was at bowling the previous night. Joan asked what number did I want, I repeated her number but changed the last digit, Joan told me I had the wrong number, I apologized, said goodbye and ended the call. I was NOT drunk, nor panicky.

 Page 100 – time frame – 1974

“Two days before I left for college, Brenda took me to meet Aunt Doris…she lived 75 miles from Buffalo.”

 I, Ruth, did not know how to drive in 1974, did not learn to drive until 1976.

 Page 174 time frame 1978

“I had Momma’s wedding dress for only four weeks. … my anger at my sisters and father got the better of me. I drove to Brenda’s house. I threw it (the dress) at her.”

 I loaned Ms. Wheeler the dress for the purpose of her having it cleaned and some minor sewing repairs done in the year 1978. She did not return it to me until late 1983, after many pleadings from me to return it. I finally had to ask my father to intervene. Ms. Wheeler brought the dress to my father’s house where I picked it up. The cleaning and repairs were never done.

 Page 186 time frame 1980,

Ms. Wheeler wanted to go public with her adoption story.

“Brenda called and said she was uncomfortable.”

 Lie. In 1980 or 1981, I accompanied Ms. Wheeler to WGRZ television studios to be interviewed by reporter Rich Kellman on our separation and reunion.

 Page 257

“I didn’t want to live in a trailer park to become trailer trash.”

 Bigotry, hate language, value judgment on people who live in trailer parks. 

 Page 263.

 Ms. Wheeler is quoting my father about my father’s second wife, being taken in an ambulance to the psych center. Supposedly he told Ms. Wheeler the arrangements were made for the ambulance to come around noon on a school day, and we kids were coming home for lunch.

“The ambulance attendants took her away in front of the kids.”

 The arrangements that were made were that we kids were picked up at school by social workers and taken to the foster home, so that WE WOULD NOT SEE OUR STEPMOTHER TAKEN AWAY SCREAMING IN AN AMBULANCE. We kids NEVER witnessed this. My father would NOT have made arrangements for this to occur as we were coming home from lunch, as he protected us.

 Page 270 time frame 1988

Ms. Wheeler describes in 3 paragraphs a funeral of my maternal aunt. She says that her adoptive mother attended the funeral. Ms. Wheeler describes my maternal uncle snubbing my father at the funeral and a conversation in the car with my father reminiscing about my mother, “I lost my wife and that man still blames me. How could I stop her from dying?” Then Ms. Wheeler quotes her adoptive mother as giving sage advice to my father about life and dying.

 I was at the funeral. Ms. Wheeler’s adoptive mother did NOT attend the funeral. My uncle may have snubbed my father, they did not get along. I was in the car. My father did NOT say this about my mother. My father very rarely talks about my mother. Ms. Wheeler’s adoptive mother did not give advice to my father in the car, as she was not there.

 Pages 276, 277, 278

Ms. Wheeler describes a fictitious account of her friend Dr. Rene Hoksbergen coming to my house and talking to me about adoption. In these pages, Ms. Wheeler describes me and my husband as exchanging dirty looks, portrays  me as a wild-woman, jumping up and down, waving my arms in the air, screaming at Dr. Hoksbergen and Ms. Wheeler. She also describes Dr. Hoksbergen lecturing me as though I were a child.

 Dr. Hoksbergen NEVER came to my house, and this incident NEVER took place.

 Page 277

“Oh Brenda,” I said, casting a disgusted look at her. “You’re just pissed off because you were trying to get pregnant and couldn’t. Just because you were using a fertility clinic to get pregnant with your partner, something I didn’t know when I wrote my article against sperm donors, doesn’t mean what I wrote is directed at you.”

 Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Invasion of privacy of Ruth Sippel Pace. (what does my not getting pregnant have to do with Joan’s life?) Hate language, insensitivity to infertile women, as well as a blatant lie. This speech never happened. But, I was not pissed off because I couldn’t get pregnant. Hurt, yes. Also I never went to a fertility clinic. I never objected to any article that Ms. Wheeler wrote about sperm donors.

 Pages 296, 297, 298  time frame 1992

Ms. Wheeler describes a scene at a Fourth of July outing in a local park with my father, my brother, my sister Gert McQueen and myself, where Gert and I are supposedly mocking her.

“Heh, she’s useless.” My sisters said sarcastically.

“Yes,” my father continued. “and I want you to know that we want you, Joan, to stop living in the past. You don’t need to be writing about adoption in the newspaper. You should find something worthwhile to do with your life. Taking care of children and writing aren’t getting the bills paid. Look at the others. They’ve done things with their lives. Where are you?”

Ms. Wheeler continues with a description of insults from Gert and “more giggling.”

 This is all totally untrue. Ms. Wheeler continues to the middle of page 298 with the description of this totally fictitious scenario. Ms. Wheeler describes a get-together at my father’s house that she was not invited to. There was no get-together, as my stepmother was at her daughter’s house celebrating her grand-daughters third birthday. Ms. Wheeler knew about this party as she was complaining about it to me on the phone the day before.

 Pages 299, 300

Ms. Wheeler describes a conversation that she had with her mother about the fictitious scene on pages 296-298.

 Character assassination of Leonard Sippel, (my father) Gert McQueen and Ruth Sippel Pace

I did not witness such a conversation, but it could not have happened has the “ridiculing” of Joan never occurred. Ms. Wheeler describes her mother as saying that we sisters started the family gathering in the park. In reality, my dance troupe was booked as performers for the Friendship Festival months in advance by our leader, M. W. with the Buffalo and Erie County Arts Council and The Buffalo Parks Department. As a coincidence, my brother came to town to visit. It was our father who suggested we meet at the park for a small reunion. My neice’s third birthday party was also scheduled with no thought of insulting Joan, her mother, or her husband.

 Page 308

“…my sisters wrote harassing letters in the months after our family reunion of 1992.”

Ms. Wheeler, in italics, presents a narrative that is attributed to have been written by Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Ruth Sippel Pace.

 Lies; character assassination of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Ruth Sippel Pace.

We never wrote harassing letters to Ms. Wheeler.

The letter that Ms. Wheeler attributes to us was never written by any of us three sisters. We believe that Ms. Wheeler wrote this narrative to make it seem that we three sisters “ganged up” on her.

 Page 309

“Why did they attack my work in the Adoption Reform Movement?”

 Lie. We never attacked her work in any adoption reform movement.

 Page 310

Ms. Wheeler continues, in italics, her false narrative of a letter supposedly written by us three sisters. — “My sisters included copies of the long, handwritten letters they wrote to the nine adoption reform movement organizations in the United States at the time. My sisters slandered me in an attempt to ruin my credibility as an advocate for adoption reform.”

   Out of desperation, I called one adoption leader, Joe Soll, Director of the Council of Equal Rights in Adoption in New York City. Yes, he received my sister’s hateful letters.”

 Lies, character assassination of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis, Ruth Sippel Pace and Joe Soll.

In an email exchange in May 2010 between Gert McQueen and Joe Soll, Mr. Soll denies ever receiving: 1. a letter from any or all of us sisters; 2. a telephone call from Ms. Wheeler regarding this letter. In his email, Mr. Soll says that what is written about him in the book is “patently false.”

 Page 311

“Harassment from my three older sisters continued… Hate mail arrived at my house…” Ms. Wheeler quotes her ex-husband as saying to her “You’re crazy just like your sisters.”

 Lies, character assassination of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Ruth Sippel Pace

We sisters did not send harassing hate mail to her.

 Page 312

“My sisters telephone my house morning, noon and night and in the middle of the night when most people are asleep. My young children often answered the phone and I heard my sisters – their aunts – yelling obscenities at them.”

 Lies. We did not call her house. We did not yell obscenities at her children.

 Page 312, 313

Ms. Wheeler lists obscene language and attributes this language to us.

“You f.. B….”  “You w….”  “You a….. . You f…. c….” “P… on you, you m…-f…”

 Lies. Obscene and pornographic language.

 Page 359

Ms. Wheeler in italics relates a fairly decent letter that she attributes to have written to our brother. I have never seen the original, so I have no way of knowing if what she writes here is true. But in this letter, she tells our brother “…my mother and my children and I are still hounded by harassing mail and phone calls from Brenda and company.”

Returning to the book, Ms. Wheeler then writes “I sent a similar letter to my sisters. I added that whatever they had against me needed to be talked out, resolved, so we could be a family again.”

 Lies, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Slander of Ruth Sippel Pace to her brother.

The letter that I received from Ms. Wheeler was not nice. It was to accuse me of harassing her that her son saw me drive past their house. Which was impossible, because I did not have a car at that time. A few days later I got another letter from Joan. It was to inform me, falsely, that my husband had gotten the next-door neighbor pregnant. – The house was vacant. See DOCS 08 and 09. Read those letters and see if you can find the sentence “whatever they had against me needed to be talked out, resolved, so we could be a family again.”

 Page 359, 360

“My sisters retaliated with yet more hate mail and vicious phone calls. Brenda and her best friend, a tough streetwise woman from the West Side, got in on the act and telephoned my mother, yelling obscenities…Mom held the phone to her ear and mind. I’d hear Brenda’s voice and her best friend’s voice, shouting at us. … “A year of hate mail followed. The envelopes had disguised handwriting and no return address so the police couldn’t trace the mail.”

 Lies. Character assassination of Ruth’s friend.

No phone calls were made by me or my friend to Joan or her mother. No hate mail was sent to Joan.

 Page 360

Ms. Wheeler describes a scene in a grocery store where my friend accosted her and swore at her.

 Lies, obscene language. My girlfriend lived on the East Side of Buffalo, Ms. Wheeler lives in a northern suburb of Buffalo, where she does her grocery shopping. My friend did not have a car, and wouldn’t drive 5 or 6 miles to a grocery store, when there was one less than a mile from her house. Telling sign this is a lie: Ms. Wheeler does not say that she went to a security guard at the store, or even called the police.

 Page 360

Ms. Wheeler involves my cousin Gail, who at the time was battling cancer and going through a divorce. Ms. Wheeler describes taking her car to be repaired and the repair person was one of my cousins, who I had not seen for more than 20 years. Ms. Wheeler says “exactly 10 days later, an anonymous envelope … arrived in the mail….I knew it was Brenda. (the envelope supposedly contained an defaced article about adoption reform).

 Lies. I did not send her any envelope with any article on adoption reform.

 Page 360, 361

Joan describes her sending me a letter begging me to stop bothering her and then I called her on the phone..

 Lies. I did not receive any letter from Joan at this time, nor did I call her.

 Page 365, 366 time frame 1999

Ms. Wheeler describes a falling out she had with my step aunt and uncle and attributes that falling out to me gossiping about her.

 Lies, I had not seen, nor spoken to my step aunt and uncle since about the early 1980’s.

 Page 366

Ms. Wheeler describes herself and her mother being “barraged by harassing phone calls. I recognized the voices as being Brenda and her best friend…”

 Lies, my friend and I did not call her house.

 Page 370

Ms. Wheeler shows a photocopy of a letter she received in the mail that contains pornographic language. She accuses me of sending this to her. It is not my handwriting.  She also blames my friend. Further she states “their language reflected the lifestyles they had chosen.”

 Lies, slander. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace and her freind Hate language directed towards Ruth Sippel Pace and her friend. My lifestyle includes a 38 year career as a Patient Care Associate/Nurse Aide at Buffalo General Hospital; organizer and leader of a block club on my street; member of the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs, which entailed meetings with local elected officials and police officers; being a VIABLE volunteer with the Buffalo Police Department; I am a former professional Middle Eastern Dancer, former board member of the Beledi Club, an organization for Middle Eastern dancers, and Buffalo and Erie Arts Council. In my job I served on various committees designed to improve delivering quality patient care; I have worked in the following departments in my long career at the hospital: Medical Intensive Care Unit, Respiratory Care Unit, Hospice Unit, Kidney Transplant Unit, as well as various medical/surgical units. Due to my work as a neighborhood activist, I organized a rodent containment petition from the 4 streets surrounding my home, (of which I own, one mortgage having been completely paid off, a second mortgage obtained to replace roof), delivering the petition to the mayor of Buffalo, NY. In 1997 when the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs obtained an empty storefront to use as their offices, my husband and I volunteered many hours to provide manual labor, such as installing drywall, painting walls and furniture. As members of the Coalition, I contributed to the monthly newsletter, and helped with the production and distribution of the newsletters, and attended monthly meetings of the Coalition, and did volunteer work at the Coalition Carnival.

 I have attended meetings of the Buffalo Common Council, The Niagara Frontier Transit Authority (to help improve public transportation in Buffalo and the surrounding area), organized neighborhood clean-up drives, block parties on National Night Out. Because of much of my civic volunteering, I have been urged by many people to enter local politics. I include in my personal friends, the director of a well known local art center, several local elected officials, two well-known noted cardiologists, one internal medicine physician, one urologist and two other doctors who I have known since their days as interns in the hospital. I maintain friendships with many registered nurses and other nurses aides. I also trained as a union steward in my local labor union representing nurses aides: SEIU 1199, but eventually turned down the appointment of union steward. This does not deter many nurses aides, as well as registered nurses to approach me on advice on our union contract.

  For the past 10 years, I also have supervised the production of a bi-monthly newsletter of a local Star Trek fan club, of which two years ago, I became the head of. For this group, I have helped organize local Star Trek conventions and manned tables at conventions, greeting fans and Star Trek celebrities alike. I have formed several personal friendships with some Star Trek celebrities. I will not “name-drop” here, and I only mention my friendships with these celebrities, local politicians and health care professionals to point out that I am far from the foul-mouthed ghetto trash that Ms. Wheeler portrays me as in her book.

 My friend has trained as para-legal and also has had many accomplishments in her life.  We are highly insulted to have been labeled as foul-mouthed, ghetto trash.

 Page 375

Ms. Wheeler describes a scene that happened during my cousin Gail’s wake. She alleges that “Dad asked me to make peace Brenda. I approached Brenda with an outstretched hand to shake her hand. ‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ I said. Brenda ran away from me, waving her arms in the air. Through her tears she managed to flash an intense angry glare at me.”

 Lie. Ms. Wheeler did approach me at the wake, calling my name. I ignored her, trying to keep the peace. She called me again. I turned and said “What?” Ms. Wheeler said, “I’m sorry, I know how much Gail meant to you.” I put my hand up to stop her. She was 10 feet away from me. I told her to just leave me alone. I burst into tears and did run out of the funeral home, and my husband and my father both followed me outside. My husband held me and my father said “Joan should not have said anything to you. I will talk to her.” I told my father, “Tell her to leave me alone. Just tell her to leave me alone.”

 Page 381

Ms. Wheeler describes looking at my personal photo albums that I brought to Arizona to attend my brother’s funeral. She recognizes where I had cut her pictures out of my personal photo album.

 This is the basis of her accusation that I had sent her those pictures. I had not – I had thrown the pictures in the garbage.

 Page 382

Ms. Wheeler describes another guest at my brother’s house as objecting to my having my sibling’s birth certificates in my personal photo album.  Ms. Wheeler has woman saying she is a government worker and is telling me that I have these birth certificates illegally.

 Lies. There was no guest at my brother’s house who was a government worker. I obtained my siblings birth certificate legally at Buffalo City Hall by showing proper identification and paying a fee of $35.00 for each birth certificate. As I noted in my introduction, throughout the book, Ms. Wheeler puts words into other people’s mouth, those words usually are her own thoughts and she does this to lend credence to her fantasy that people agree with her on the topic she is writing about. This is one example. Ms. Wheeler cannot obtain HER original birth certificate because she doesn’t have proper identification as a SIPPEL. Therefore she is angry because I do have the proper credentials to obtain SIPPEL birth certificates. To lend credence to her argument that I have the documents illegally, she picks another guest at the house and like a ventriloquist, she writes what she thinks the guest will look good saying in the book.

    The information I was gathering is for the purpose of having a complete family tree. The birth certificates are kept together with my mother’s death certificate. This information is that which used to be included in pages of a family’s bible. This sort of information gathering on families has been done for centuries. Incidentally, NO ONE in the family has objected to my having my siblings birth certificates. My father looked at my photo album while in Arizona, as well as my sister-in-law and my brother’s son. They all saw the birth certificate of my brother, and no one had any objection.

 Page 382

Ms. Wheeler continues her rant about my having my siblings birth certificates and notes that I did not have my younger half-brother’s birth certificate in my photo album. She states “I made a mental note of the deeper meaning in Brenda’s chopped up photo album. This was her attempt to make sense out of her…severed family life.”

 Lie, personal misguided interpretation of someone else’s thoughts. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.

How does Ms. Wheeler know what is in my thoughts? I object to having someone publishing their interpretations of my thought processes published in a book. The reason my younger brother’s birth certificate was not in my photo album was because I had not obtained it at that time, due to time and financial restraints. I did obtain it a few years later and it is in my photo album right now. As to the “chopping up” of my photo album, I had just begun in the year 2002 to obtain the documents and actually organizing my photos. They were in boxes, and now were in albums. And my photo albums are even more chopped up now – I have scanned into my computer a full album’s worth of photos, documents and greeting cards into my computer. And those that I have not given away, or put away to be given to other family members, have been shredded and destroyed. I have done all the work up to the year 1970. If Ms. Wheeler saw my photo albums today with no physical evidence of anything prior to 1970, she would put forth the misguided diagnosis that I have tried to destroy my life prior to 1970. Ms. Wheeler did not ask me WHY my photo album was “chopped up” to include the true reason as to why some things were missing from the album, in her book and she certainly did not obtain my permission to put her interpretations of my life and thoughts into her book. I fail to see what MY goal of scanning into my computer a complete family tree and history of our family has to do with HER adoption and adoption reform work.

 Page 383

Ms. Wheeler describes me as looking at a picture of her son and giving a disgusted grunt and turning away from his picture.

 Lie. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.

 I looked at the picture, nodded, and said, “Mmm.” I was trying to keep the peace by remaining silent. And this is also indicative of Ms. Wheeler’s contradictory attitude towards my thoughts and words and behaviors. If I do or say something regarding her or her children, husband or adoptive mother, or anyone else for that matter, she jumps on me. If I don’t say anything, thinking that by remaining silent I will keep the peace, Ms. Wheeler interprets my silence as haughtiness or a refusal to acknowledge her presence. If I acknowledge her presence, she psycho-analyzes my words and deeds and always finds me in the wrong. In Ms. Wheeler’s eyes, I am damned if I do anything and damned if I don’t do anything. Read the book you published – you will see almost every other page is an attack on Brenda. “Brenda did this, Brenda did that. Brenda DIDN’T do this, Brenda DIDN’T do that.” I can’t win no matter what I do or don’t do. Her hatred of me jumps right off the pages of this book.

 Page 383

Ms. Wheeler describes my husband (Larry in the book) as telling her that I found her “children’s photos in his wallet and yelled at him that she didn’t want him to have anything to do with me and that included cutting off ties with my children.’

 Lie. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.

 Ms. Wheeler has no way of knowing of any personal conversation I had my husband.  But I did tell him that I did not want him going to Joan’s house because of the trouble she was causing me. He continued to go there to visit with the children. I also repeated my request on July 31, 1993, when he went to her house to help the family move. She over heard me say this to him, and twists the truth around to make me look as though I were a spying shrew, hen-pecking my husband. 

    I don’t look in my husband’s wallet. I did know of the pictures of Ms. Wheeler’s children in his wallet, because my husband showed them to me. And they are still there. I have scanned into my computer those photos only about six months ago, and my husband returned the pictures to his wallet in front of me. As to the subject of “chopping up” photos, Ms. Wheeler needs to answer for her own crime, to which she admits to in the book on page 358:

“once a month or so, I scrambled through the house, bagging up my children’s personal belongings, toys, books, gifts, even Russian nesting dolls I’d given my daughter – and threw them away….During these rages I screamed at my children as if I hated them.”

And she told a cousin of ours two years ago that she her own children’s photos, toys, school work, art work, IN FRONT OF HER OWN CHILDREN.  (of course she didn’t put that in the book).  If her narration in the book of me yelling at my husband for him having photos of her husband or cutting her out of my personal photo album is supposed to be a crime, she is way more guilty than I ever could be. Again, we see where Brenda (supposedly) does (almost) the same thing that Ms. Wheeler does, and should burn in hell for it, whereas Ms. Wheeler is an angel.

 Page 385

Ms. Wheeler describes me as hugging her at the side of our brother’s casket. “We hugged as we sobbed. But her arm dropped as suddenly as she reached out. That would be the last hint of love between us.”

 Half Lies. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace

 I did reach out to her. She was standing to my right. I did reach out with my right arm and put it over her shoulder and drew her to me. I do not recall how long I held her. I was grieving my brother and naturally reached out to my sister. Again we see Ms. Wheeler’s psycho-analyzing my every move. If I hung on to her too long, I suppose she would say that I was accepting her back into my life, which I don’t want. I only wanted to comfort her over the death of our brother. In simply reaching out to her in my grief, I showed that I didn’t hate her. And this was only 3 weeks after my meltdown at my cousin Gail’s funeral.

 Page 388

Ms. Wheeler describes an email exchange between regarding actions on a family photo web site I was building.

“Then I made the mistake of bringing up the past in a private email to Brenda. She flew into a rage, wrote me back saying the website was no place to discuss family dirty laundry, even though I didn’t post my email on the website. … I responded by terminating the email account I opened just for communicating with Brenda.”

 Lies. Twisting of the facts.

In 2003, I did build a website. At our brother’s house in Arizona, Ms. Wheeler and I exchanged emails. I needed her email to send an invitation to her to the website. In order to be a member of the website, members DID have to provide the website with their email. Everything was going fine from October 2003 to December 2003. Ms. Wheeler posted a photograph that had my two oldest sisters as children with Santa Claus. Ms. Wheeler had the wrong year on it. I corrected the year. Also moved the photo to the proper forum. As I knew the correct year and as the owner of the site, I had the right to do this. In January 2004, it was Ms. Wheeler who flew into a rage because I had “tampered” with her photo, and accused me of plotting against her. At this time, I did not own a computer of my own. I was doing all online work on public computers. When Ms. Wheeler sent the angry email to me, I was sick for a week and not able to get to a computer. The email got buried. I saw it in April 2004, and could not believe the nonsense. For three months, we were getting along, building a family photo website, (which should dispel any erroneous conclusions that I was trying to make sense out of my severed life, as she puts forth on page 382. (see what I mean about her contradictory interpretations of me? And how she contradicts herself in her own book?). I did answer her email as soon as I saw it. I asked her why was she bringing up the past – why can’t we just go forward? I never said anything about posting family dirty laundry on the website or in my email – (I still have the actual email exchange that proves what she said to me, and my response). 

 Page 389

Ms. Wheeler quotes my father as saying “Education, that’s what I needed….if I had more education, I would have kept you. … if I had education, none of this would have happened.  If someone would have told me how to keep you.“

 Lies. Character assassination of Leonard Sippel

Although I was not present to hear this conversation, I know my father would not, COULD not have said this. My father WAS educated. He worked as a civil engineer/draftsman in Buffalo’s City Hall in the Streets Department. (Ms. Wheeler portrays him as an uneducated laborer, working as a machinist in the book). Ms. Wheeler is insinuating here that if my father was better educated he would not have given her up for adoption. It wouldn’t have mattered. The bare fact is that whatever level of education my father had, whatever occupation he had, he still would have had to go to work everyday to earn money to support his family. He could not do this with an infant. There were no daycare centers in 1956, nor welfare system as we have today. Nor was any family member able to help out. My father’s hands were tied. It is Ms. Wheeler’s continual refusal to face these facts that has her once again, putting words into people’s mouths to support her delusions and fantasies.

 Page 393

Ms. Wheeler discusses her mother sharing photographs of her with her aunts and says: “…my aunts gave these pictures to my natural mother’s sister.”

 Lie. My aunt Catherine had only ONE photograph of Joan, taken of her First Holy Communion.

 Page 423

“…my sisters and brother suffered serious, extended childhood trauma. These facts resulted in them imposing trauma on me…”

 Lies; speculation on MY childhood experiences; character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace, Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Leonard Sippel Jr.

These are NOT facts, these are Ms. Wheeler’s statements due to her personal faulty interpretation of our childhood, of which she did not share. Ms. Wheeler is not trained as a doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist or any where in the medical field. She has a degree in social work, but as she has never worked as such, she has no experience in the field. Also, I was never interviewed by a qualified child psychologist (much less Ms. Wheeler) in a medical or similar setting about my childhood. What are Ms. Wheeler’s qualifications to pronounce judgment on MY mental health, my childhood, my life experiences? Or my siblings? And she has no right to publish her OPINIONS on this matter concerning me or my family. I would suggest anyone reading this paragraph read again my life accomplishments, (listed above) and consider my lack of any substance abuse, criminal record or any other anti-social behavior. Read The Book and read Ms. Wheeler’s own admissions of her anti-social behavior, alcoholism, thoughts and threats of suicide.

 Page 490

Ms. Wheeler is describing my father (her natural father)

“Poor, advanced to working class 1950’s, advanced to middle-middle class in 1970’s.”

 Lies, character assassination of Leonard Sippel

Ms. Wheeler does NOT portray the true facts about her own natural father, my father.

My father started work for the City of Buffalo in Street Paving Department as a civil-engineer/draftsman on July 20, 1953 and maintained that position until his retirement on September 17, 1988. From 1965 to 1970, he also maintained a part time second job as salesman at Sears. In 1965, he bought a house, the first in his family to own property. He also had 4 teenagers at home, which in the 1960’s, as well as today, is an expensive obligation. Kids and houses are NOT cheap. My father married his third wife in October 1970, and after having a child with him (along with her two daughters from a previous marriage), went back to work as a nurse’s aide in 1972. I was also employed as a nurse’s aide and lived at home and helped take care of the children. The reason my father “advanced to middle-middle class in the 1970’s was because for the first time in his life, he was a member of a two-income family (actually three-income, when I was there 1972 – 1974).  My father sold his house in 1975 and took a spacious apartment. The rent was cheaper than the mortgage and all the expenses related to owning a house. This also helped his financial status.

 Page 491

Ms. Wheeler is discussing my father’s second wife.

“How this step-mother was removed from the home, in front of her son and step-children was a form of cruelty to her and emotional trauma to the children. Witnessing their mother and step-mother being carried away in a straight-jacket had lasting effects on them.”

 Lies. We children NEVER witnessed this. I myself did not learn of her being taken away in a straight jacket until about 15 years when my sister Gert told me about it. What happened was – my stepmother was having severe mental problems. My father told me once that she was examined by a doctor and it was decided that she should be placed in the psychiatric hospital in Buffalo. He told me that it was all arranged and the day she was placed there, social workers came to our school and picked up us children and took us to the foster home (Gert and Kathy) and the orphanage (me and my brothers).  My father was with me and my brothers – I remember him holding my hand as we entered the orphanage run by the Catholic nuns and the huge statue of St. Joseph welcoming us. Gert was about 12 at the time. She told me about 15 years ago, that when she was about 17 or 18, she went back to our old neighborhood to visit some old friends and the mother of one of our childhood friends (who lived across the street from us) told her of the day that our step-mother was placed in the ambulance, in a straight jacket, and she was screaming. All the neighbors witnessed it and they all said it was sad, but were glad that we children were not around to see it. Even the times that my stepmother came home from the psych center and me and my brothers came home from the orphanage, our landlord, landlady, and neighbors NEVER told us what happened. As I said, I myself never knew about it until about 15 years ago (c 1995), much less witnessed it in 1959. Ms. Wheeler had been adopted out of our family in 1956, her family moved to Tonawanda, New York and was not there.

 Page 529, 530, 531, 532

Ms. Wheeler again is accusing me and my sisters of harassing her.

(529) “…their joint letter writing campaign after our family reunion in 1992. The following year they wrote lengthy letters to the major adoption reform organizations to tell them what an asshole I was.” (530) “…looking back, now I can see they are tortured souls.” (531) “Each one of my sisters had something to hide, something they did not want me to write about, which I have not written about. … They chose to harass and mock me, so I wrote about it.”  “Harassing my husband…Calling our home and yelling obscenities at the our young children. … Calling the home of my boyfriend…. Calling the Child Abuse Hotline and accusing my then 80 year old mother, and me, of sexual abuse.”

 All lies. Slander, threats.

Many of these lies have already been addressed. But now is added this new statement that each one of her sisters have something to hide. This implies a threat. I have no idea to what Ms. Wheeler is alluding to here. I have nothing to hide. As I stated above: I do not engage in criminal or anti-social behavior, do not abuse substances (I barely drink), I have had a long career as a health-care worker (38 years with the same employer), and have been involved in the performing arts and as a neighborhood activist. When I took a course at the Buffalo Police Academy, a background check was done on me, and nothing showed up. So just what is my secret that Joan Wheeler thinks she has over me?

 Page 531

“I wrote about my sisters, and anyone else, at the point where our lives intersected.”

 Lie. Falsely writing about me and my siblings witnessing my siblings witnessing our step-mother being placed in an ambulance is not a point where our lives intersected. As I stated above, Ms. Wheeler was adopted out of our family in 1956, and the event took place in 1959. Yes, the Wheelers did coincidentally lived one block over in 1956, then they moved three blocks away shortly after adopting her, and in 1957, they moved several miles away from us. Ms. Wheeler’s life did not intersect with ours until 1972, when I was placing phone calls to Wheelers in the phone book and her life did not fully intersect with ours until 1974 when we were physically reunited with her.

Even so, this “intersection” of our lives does not give her the right to violate our privacy and tell lies about us in this book.

 Page 532

Ms. Wheeler discusses our brother.

“Our sisters poisoned him against me for 11 years.”

 Lies, speculation.

We did not “gossip” to our brother about Joan.  And how does she even know a time duration for this? It was Joan herself who was calling him, writing letters to him and trashing us to him and his wife that turned him against Joan. He quite naturally became disgusted with having his sisters trashed. Proof – Ms. Wheeler admits to trashing us to him on page 359, as I have already addressed this issue. I repeat it:

page 359

Ms. Wheeler in italics relates a fairly decent letter that she attributes to have written to our brother. I have never seen the original, so I have no way of knowing if what she writes here is true. But in this letter, she tells our brother “…my mother and my children and I are still hounded by harassing mail and phone calls from Brenda and company.”

A Letter I wrote to the district attorney in 1995 sheds light on Joan Wheeler’s harassments of me and refutes the lies on pages 325-333 in her book Forbidden Family November 27, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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The purpose of this blog is to refute the book “Forbidden Family” by Joan Wheeler. Several times, on several posts, since this blog’s inception in November 2009, I have addressed several key points of lies contained in the book, and told the truth behind those lies. The true stories were also chronicles of the harassments that I endured from Joan Wheeler over the course of many years.

Two months ago, I pulled out a manilla folder that contained some old paperwork concerning Joan Wheeler. I found several old letters. I have scanned into my computer these letters, and while watching episodes of my favorite soap opera, Young and the Restless, I have transcribed these letters.

This post contains the transcript of a two page letter that I wrote to the District Attorney, and the City Court of Buffalo, to be used in conjunction with the harassment charge that I brought about against Joan Wheeler in March 1995. Copies of this letter was sent to the police detective who handled Joan’s annoyance phone call case against me in 1993, This post also contains references to other posts and scans of court documents and links to those posts and documents. All links will open in a new window, so you will not lose this post while looking at the physcial evidence – actual court documents that prove without a shadow of a doubt that Joan Wheeler LIED in her book. She cannot gloss over these things by saying the book was her point of view or to the best of her recollection. She puts forth things like a fictious three month court battle in 1994 (never happened), I (and her) were arrested. Nope – nobody was arrested. She says she had more than one order of protection agains me – nope – there was only ONE and it was for six-months, then dismissed. She says I was placed on probation – nope – and she knows it. Her “point of view?” About court proceedings? Well, if her point of view of court rulings were different from what the court’s actual decisions were – then she is either DELUSIONAL  or a filthy LIAR! Either way, it negates her claim that her book  is “truthful.” – by the way, my next post will be my actual complaint to Trafford Publications, which contained the scans of the actual court documents which proved I was – never arrested, never sentanced to probation, there were NEVER any court proceedings in 1994, and the one and only Order of Protection Joan received against me (or anybody for that matter) was for six months. Because of these falsehoods – which proved Joan SLANDERED me, the book Forbidden Family was pulled from publication.

By the way – in her book, she says on page 316 that a restraining order was issued against me for one year. She doesn’t give the dates but I will – it was for August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. Joan lies about this. See the graphic here. She also says that on August 1, 1993, I violated that restraining order. No, the restraining order was not in effect until August 9. On page 325 she claims that I spent 4 months calling her on the phone. Wrong – never did that. On page 328-29 she says that I called in a false child abuse call on her in early December 1993.- She then says on page 329 that three months of court battles. So that would mean January, February and March 1994. But if the Order of Protection was in effect until February 1994, or as Joan says, until August 1994, I would have been in violation of the Order – right? She says on page 330 “Mom and I were granted an Order of Protection agains Brenda (me) in the summer of 1994. It was good for one year.”
WRONG – Because if an Order of Protection was already in effect from 1993 – they would have put cuffs on me, arrested me and thrown me in jail! THIS NEVER HAPPENED! In 1998, I attended a class at the Buffalo Police Academy to be a VIABLE volunteer for my work in my block club. A thorough background check was done on me – a pre-requisite for this class was to have a clean record – the background check showed NO ARREST RECORD, NO PROBATION RECORD – NO VIOLATION OF ANY ORDER OF PROTECTION.

To recap – in 1989 – 90 Joan stole hundreds of dollars from me. Despite numerous promises to repay me and then actually telling me that she would not – I never got my money back. Because I dared tell her off in January 1991, she began sending me harassing letters. In early 1993 I began receiving envelopes addressed to me, but inside were greeting cards from her kids to my fiance (now husband). But those cards had Joan’s handwriting on them. One letter came in June 1993 and I called her up. She said “hold on.” click. disconnected! I redialed – same thing! I redialed – again! WTF? I said to myself “fuck that crazy idiot.” The following week, my electricity was shut off. Joan owed me money. I called her up – same damn thing. I borrowed some money from neighbors then called Joan back and did swear at her. – admit it – you’d do the same thing. The bitch had a trace-trap on her line because she was getting annoyance calls – but not from me. BUT to make sure that I would get “caught” she sent the letter, knowing I’d call – and she played me AND the police. What could I do? I did call her – and she took me to court and she got a six-month order of protection against me. See the post “Did Joan’s 10 year old son write that letter I got in June 1993? Or did Joan herself? “  You can see for yourself, how Joan forged a letter to make it look like her own 10 year old son wrote a letter to my fiance. But the envelope was addressed to me. And it did not say “Dear UNCLE John.” That lowlife Joan stooped that low to involve her own child to manipulate me, the phone company and the police.

In February of 1994, Joan began receiving hospital bills for a patient whose name was similar to hers.But in the book she said it was in May 1994.  She called Buffalo General Hospital where I work and accused me of hacking into the computer system and tampering with her bill. She was told at that time it was impossible for me to access the hospital billing computers. Joan would not accept that. She then set out to force Buffalo General Hospital to believe that I was guilty of this. From about September 1994 up to April 1995, Joan placed almost daily phone calls to various people and departments in the hospital. I was never told about these calls until January 1995. I met with various people in the hospital and hospital administration. They had already told people to hang up when Joan called. But some of her calls did get through.

In the meantime, on December 22, 1994,a child abuse call was made against Joan Wheeler and my fiance (now husband) John. The caller identified themself as me. Joan then wrote a letter to New York State Child Abuse Center in Albany, New York (Dec 31, 1994) accusing me of this phone call. In her letter, she referenced the annoyance phone call court case, where she was given a 6 month order of protection against me. She lied to an official New York State agency by saying that I was sentanced to probation. (slander). This letter can be seen here.

Beginning in January 1995, Joan then proceeded to write slanderous letters about me to various elected officials, including the mayor of Buffalo. She then assembled copies of these letters and sent them to me in February 1995. When I received them, I saw one letter to the Director of Patient Accounts of Buffalo General Hospital. I spoke to him and he told me the full extent of what Joan had been doing – the almost daily phone calls, etc. See the letter she wrote to him here. And in this letter – she has the correct date and time duration of the six month order of protection of 1993 – but she lies to him and says that I was sentanced to probation. Also, this is a letter of complaint concerning a mixed-up bill – but she has private details of my childhood and my medical history. Yet she’s constantly screaming she wants HER privacy maintained, but she cares nothing about anybody else’s privacy!  Hypocritical lying Bitch!

I called the police detective that handled Joan’s annoyance phone call case against me and he sent me a warrant card to fill out to start a harassment charge against Joan. When Joan received her summons into court, she wrote letters to my fiance and sent them to his mother’s house. She wrote letters to my future mother-in-law as well. In those letters, she pleaded with John to get me to drop the charges. She then urged him to leave me. She trashed me to my future mother in law, and asked her to appear in court against me. My future mother-in-law had never even met Joan. See the letter here.

Unfortunately, the judge assigned to my case, Margaret Anderson dismissed the charges, saying we were sisters and should get along. I filed a complaint with the district attorney’s office and they sent out an assistant district attorney to my house who yelled at me saying they had better things to do than fix a fight between sisters. She made me promise not to contact Joan.  That promise was easily made by me, since I was not contacting Joan. But I did tell her that she needed to go tell Joan the same thing. She did so, and the phone calls to my employer stopped. I have always felt that I was victimized three times over these events: first by Joan, second by the court, and third by the district attorney. Sigh. But in any case, Joan stopped her harassment for three years. I had three years of peace until out of the blue, on May 25, 1998, Joan sent me a letter. The envelope was addressed to me and John, but the letter inside was for Gert, about a guy in South Carolina talking shit about Gert to Joan’s ex-husband. And this had WHAT to do with Ruth? I sent Joan a letter of no contact but then 9 months later, Joan contacts me AGAIN (February 1999) using a friend’s return address (without her knowledge) and informed me that my fiance got the next door neighbor pregnant. See post “Harassing letter from Joan Wheeler to Ruth Sippel Pace in May 1998″ Never mind the district attorney told both of us not to contact each other. But Joan thinks she is above the law. This post also contains the scanned copy of  the envelope, sent certified mail to me- that I sent back to her with my notes to her on it.

I just want to relate something that happened after Judge Margaret Anderson dismissed my case in 1995.  Joan and her mother left the courtroom before me and my friend Francine. By the time we stepped on the escalator to go down, they had stepped off the escalator and turned and were almost directly below us to our right. And Joan looked up at us – and fucking smirked! That’s what made Francine yell “You fucking bitch – Ruth may not be able to touch you – but I sure will!” and started  running down the escalator. I ran after her and stopped her – by this time Joan’s smirk had disappeared and she was truly scared. The security guards started coming. I said to Francine “let the bitch go. She’s not worth us going to jail over. She’ll get her just rewards one day for this shit.” – There were security guards, people, lawyers all over the place and heard me say that. And when I did, Joan put her head down said nothing, and kept on walking – and everybody saw it – they may not have known what was going on – but they knew – from the way Joan slunk out of there – who was the lady and who was the tramp.

Now how does Joan relate all this stuff in her book? First, she doesn’t say anything about the escalator scene but Oh my god, the lies in that filthy book! First, she gets the dates all mixed up. She claims that the child abuse call was made in 1993. – She says this because she wants to present it as though I made the call as revenge for her pressing charges for the annoyance calls. She then says that SHE pressed charges against me in 1994 and because it involved her children – she brought them to court. (Judge Anderson told the court NOT to bring children to court, but Joan brought them once – and they stayed outside in the hallway with an adult babysitter). Joan then says we had “three months of court battles.” – Wrong – in 1994, we were NOT in court at all. see this graphic from 1999 which shows there were only two court proceedings between Joan and me – 1993, and 1995. This research was done by the court itself.  In 1995, we were in court for the charges that I pressed against her – three times – about 15 minutes in front of the judge each time. The first was when Joan was arraigned, and it was adjourned to a later date. When we appeared, the court ran out of time, the judge suggested mediation, which Joan refused. So we went in front of her a third time, where she dismissed it. In Joan’s book, she says that in 1994, she was granted a one-year order of protection against me. Wrong. The only order of protection she was granted was the one in 1993 for six months. see graphic here. Joan also says on page 316 that a warrant was issued for my arrest. This is false, a lie, slander and libel. I have never been arrested in my life. (and since I presented the actual court documents to Trafford Publications, who published Joan’s lying book, they saw the clear slander and libel that Joan committed against me – and because of that – they pulled her book from publication).

On page 314 Joan, in regards to the annoyance phone calls in 1993, says the detective asked her “Who is Brandy Sippel?” She  then explains that Brandy is my cat. She then quotes the detective as saying “Well she’s got  Brandy paying the bills in her residence! No kidding! The phone bill is in the name of Brandy Sippel!” Joan then states that she told him to be on the lookout for Francois. “He’s my sister’s other cat! Maybe he’s paying the gas bill!’

I blogged about this before. But I want to point out that Brandy was my dog. Joan put this little anecdote in her book to make me out to be someone who is an ass. No, my phone was listed as Brittany Sippel, to keep her from finding out my number. And the letter I found and have transcribed below proves it. And since my phone bill was under the name of Brittany, not my dog or my cat, for Joan to be stating in her book that the detective was laughing at me for doing so, she is putting words in the mouth of a Buffalo Police Detective. -n other words – she was LYING! And we have proof of it – in the letter of January 7, 1995 that she wrote to our niece Karen, she admits that she knows the phone number is under Brittany Sippel. see post written by Gert McQueen Evidence of how Joan Wheeler sets people against each other and how she exploits and tries to enlist my daughter into committing crimes!”

In regards to her receiving a hospital bill for someone whose name was similar to hers, Joan writes about this on page 332. Previously she had said that I worked in the billing department at the hospital. WRONG! I have been employed as a nursing assistant (nurse’s aide) in the night shift since being hired at BGH on September 18, 1972. Except for 4 years (1976 – 1980) when I worked the day shift (7am – 3pm), I worked the night shift – 11 pm – 7am. Joan only puts down in her book that I work in the billing department to lend credence to her accusation of me.

Listen, everybody knows that companies put into place computer security systems – they have the ability to trace every, and I mean EVERY keystroke you do. Joan puts down in her book that she first received a mixed-up bill in May 1994, but in her letter to Buffalo General Hospital in 1995, she claims it was done in February 1994. So which date was it Joan? You really need to GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT if you’re writing a TRUTHFUL book! – Anyway, in 1994, she complains – they check into it. Because they have to. I totally understand that. It was attributed to a typing mistake and Joan was told this. Joan was told that the computer terminals on the nursing stations were not even connected to the billing computers. Joan didn’t believe them. Then in December 1994, another error occured. And Joan called again. They checked again. They found the error – it occured on December 14, 1994. When I met with Mr. P.S., he told me the exact date and time: December 14, 4pm. – Sorry, even if I worked the day shift (7am – 3pm) I would not be in the building at the time). Joan wasn’t going to have it. She was not going to accept the fact that I was innocent. She set out calling my job almost every day – like she had started a couple of months earlier. She was going to CHANGE the fact that I didn’t do it – and get me fired in the process. – I ask you – is this coming from a rational person? Joan needs to be f’king locked up in the psych ward.

So let us examine a couple of things. December 14, 1994 was on a Wednesday (google a 1994 calendar). The error occured at  4pm. The bill was printed out and placed in an envelope and put in a bin for outgoing mail. I don’t know if the bin went to the US Postal Service that day or the next. But at any rate, let’s give it until the following Monday, December 19, for it to arrive at Joan’s house. (I have direct deposit – I get my paystub in the mail only 2 days after payday – so the mail is really fast). Joan spends that day on the phone screaming and yelling at different people at the hospital about me. (I know  this, because I spoke to several of them). Joan is yelling that I did it. She does not believe that I didn’t, COULDN’T have done it. SUPERVISORS are telling her that not only didn’t I do it, but I COULDN’T have done it. (and she puts right in her book that she didn’t believe them). Three days later, on December 22, someone calls child abuse on Joan, identifies themselves as me, accuses Joan and MY fiance as abusing Joan’s children. Now I find this timing very interesting. – Then Joan starts writing letters to the mayor of Buffalo, a state senator, the district attorney, the commissioner of social services, my neice. And in those letters, she’s accusing me of all sorts of nonsense, and blabbing MY personal, private medical history.

THEN, she makes copies of these letters – and mails them to me. Not to mentioin the almost daily phone calls to my job, telling them to fire me. When I press charges of stalking and harassment against her – she writes to MY fiance, urging him to leave me. – So this was all a revenge plot by Joan against me – for something I had nothing to do with – her mixed up hospital bill! She set out to 1. break me and John up (something she’d been trying to do for years – from 1993-1999), 2. get me to lose my job. 3. ruin my reputation.

On page 333 – Joan relates that she received an envelope that was full of cut-up pictures of her that she recognized as being from my photo album.She says that she got this a few days after she got a letter from Buffalo General Hospital telling her that I was innocent of the billing error. She says the envelope was smeared with cooking grease. – No – she is deliberately mixing up things again. To make it look as though I tampered with her bill, called child abuse on her, harassed her for revenge for the court case of 1993. – She takes events from 1993, 1994, 1995, 1999 and 2003 and mixes them up into a different timeline, even taking words from a letter I sent her in 1999, and has me saying them in person in 1994! Okay – I think I know what’s going on – the Joan Wheeler we know is really from an alternate universe, where things happened in different years. My court documents and personal letters are from a different reality than Joan’s. Yeah – that’s it. That explains it. Joan is not from this planet. uh huh, I always thought so.

I mentioned earlier that Joan brought her kids to the court, but they stayed out in the hallway. I went out to the bathroom and stopped at the water fountain for a drink. The baby sitter and Joan’s kids never left the bench they were sitting on. Words were never exchanged. In 1999, when I received the letter from Joan with her friend’s return address, I was so angry, I wrote her back and I told her a whole bunch of stuff. I have already transcribed this letter and scanned it and will be posting it soon. (there’s just so much convoluted stuff involved here). I mailed it to Joan. She sent it back. I had not put a return address on it. She had opened it, read it, probably photocopied what I wrote, put it back in the envelope and stapled it, wrote my address for a return address and marked “refused – return to sender” and dropped it in a mailbox. When I got it, I saw what she did, and said to myself – oh, no, she is not going to play her little post office games with me! Now John and I had been without a car for several years – and just two weeks prior to me getting her letter to me saying that John got the next-door neighbor pregnant, we had bought a car from John’s nephew. It need transmission work, we were waiting for our income tax refund check to fix it. In the meantime, it was leaking transmission fluid and it was necessary to keep a few cans of the fluid in the car and keep pouring it in the engine. I kept it on the floor behind the driver’s seat, so I wouldn’t have to keep opening the trunk. To prevent a mess, the opened cans were kept in a metal tray.

 Now, in addition to the “revelation” that my infertile husband got another woman pregnant, was the accusation that Joan’s son saw me drive past their house! This was an impossibiltiy! When I had received the letter, I HAD NO CAR! By the time I had written to Joan, she received it, and sent it back, we had gotten Jamie’s car. I was so angry when I received it back, I took the envelope and jumped in the car. I threw the envelope on the back seat, and it fell into the tray with the transmission fluid. Oh well, I thought – she won’t be able to drop it back in a mailbox now. THEN I drove to her house and threw it up on her lawn. Oh and by the way – the letter she sent me in 1998 about the guy in South Carolina threatening Gert? It contained her ex-husband’s phone number. So when I got home – I called him long distance and I told him the whole dam thing – that no, I did not drive past Joan’s house – so either their son is a liar or Joan is lying by stating that. AND I told Colby about the letter and the tranmission fluid.

Convolution time again: contained in that letter in the greasy envelope was my asking Joan why were her kids in court in 1995. I said I went to the bathroom and water fountain, Dennis looked bored, Catherine was sleeping. What does lying Joan say about this in her book? She took MY words – water fountain – on page 330 changes the year to 1994, (she can’t even lie correctly) and says that when the court broke for lunch, she and the kids were at the water fountain and I walked up to them and yelled “See what your mother is doing to me? You see? She drags you in court to see your poor Aunt go through this!” No, in my letter in the greasy envelope in 1999 I said “why were the kids in court after the judge said NOT to bring kids to court? To drag them in there to see their dirty Aunt Ruth abusing their mother?” So we see how Joan takes words out of my mouth and twists them to lie! Now Joan said on the bottom of page 329 to the top of page 330: she filed charges of harassment against me for the child abuse call: “We couldn’t prove conclusively that she made the ..call. but we could prove continued harassment in various forms throughout the years. Our only recourse was to seek an Order of Protection. Three months of court dates followed. I brought my children to court as they were part of the case and needed to see for themselves just what was going on.” She then relates the buillshit about the water fountain. She then says that in the summer of 1994, she was granted a one year Order of Protection against me. WRONG, WRONG WRONG!

She didn’t prove ANY harassments from me because I didn’t harass her! But she does say just WHO had been harassing her for more than 20 years – a member of the adoptive family – he had been sending her filthy things for years – and I was getting the blame for it. And not only does Joan admit on pages 344-345 that he had been found out – she doesn’t clear MY name – because she hates me and wants to make out that I did all sorts of things to her – when I didn’t! Listen, if she had conclusive proof in 1994 that I harassed her – why didn’t the court arrest me and throw me in jail? This is all nonsense – lies, blaming me for things other people had done. The whole section of her book, pages 295 to pages 342, covering years 1992 – 1995 are so full of twisted lies, pure hate, blaming Ruth for other people’s actions  – it was JOAN who refused to send Kathy’s belongings to England – not Ruth,(they were in JOAN’S house, not mine.  It was JOAN who was responsible for them. It was KATHY who called our father for help in getting her things. It was DAD who called Joan and yelled at her. It was JOSELYNE who called Joan and yelled at her for upsetting Dad. RUTH was not involved in any of that – yet – Joan wrote me a letter saying “Because of you … blah, blah, blah, and then puts it in her book that all that was MY fault. I’m sitting at MY house, minding MY business, yet I”M the one getting blamed for 1. Joan’s own actions, 2. Kathy’s actions, 3. Dad’s actions, 4. Joselyne’s actions. Can I slap the shit out of her now? pleeeaasee? God help me when I saw that book and saw pages 295 – 342, I couldn’t believe it! And I cried – how could someone of my own blood do this to me? When I had done NOTHING to her. All I ever did was love her. In 1990 I had hundreds of dollars stolen from me by her. I called her in 1993 for that money and got hauled into court. She tried to get me fired from my job! She tried to break me and John up. Filthy letters followed, one telling me my infertile husband got another woman pregnant. And then to read this shit in her filthy book. -Now you know why I have this blog.

In 1999, after I received her letter telling me that John got another woman pregnant, because she had contacted me in 1998 after the DA told her not to, and I wrote her telling me to leave me alone, I had grounds to press harassment on her. In the court papers – drawn up by the court itself – it listed all previous court dates between me and Joan. it correctly showed our case in 1993 where she was granted a SIX-MONTH order of protection against me. It correctly showed MY case against Joan in 1995 that was dismissed by Judge Margaret Anderson – It did NOT show ANY court case between us lasting three months in 1994, nor did it show ANY one-year order of protection granted Joan in the summer of 1994. If that was the case – if Joan was truly granted a one year order of protection against me from summer of 94 to 95 – what the hell was she doing stalking and harassing me in the spring of 1995? That would be like the kettle calling the pot black! see the graphic here of this court document.

As to the cut-up photos in the greasy envelope- nope – never sent them to her. Yes, I cut her pictures out of my photo album and threw them in the trash.Way back in 1991!  In 2003, when we went to Arizona for my brother’s funeral, I brought my photo albums for the family to see. (Joan belittles me in her book for this – said I was doing a “Show and Tell” – and why not? Is there something wrong in passing around family photos? Oh, I see, it’s when RUTH passes around family photos  for family members to see – THEN it’s wrong. I’m sure that EVERY family shares family photos at a family gathering. But when RUTH does it, it’s wrong. Do you see what I mean about the hate Joan has for me? It’s perfectly obvious – it’s practially jumping off the pages of her hideous book. And for those people like HeatherUK of the adoptee forum to think this is a wonderful book – Heather – you are an ass that you can’t see this hate.

Anyway, she recognized where her pictures were cut out – and between 2003 and 2009 when that filthy book was published, went in and changed dates and events around, trying to reshape the past. But Joan forgot she mailed me all that stuff back in the 90’s – with her own handwriting on it, and she forgot that I kept the court documents. Joan may have presented in her book that Ruth was a lying, conniving bitch, but the TRUTH wins out in the end – it is not Ruth who was and is lying, conniving bitch – it is JOAN MARY WHEELER, who was always the lying conniving bitch – as she still is to this day.

So here is the letter that I wrote for the courts, the district attorney and the police.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

Enclosed are two letters written by Joan Wheeler concerning me, Ruth Sippel. One is a letter written to my niece Karen Finken, who resides in B., New York; and who sent these letters to me to give to the proper authorities.

The other letter is written to Mr. P.S., the director of patient’s accounts at Buffalo General Hospital, where I have been employed as a nursing assistant for the past 22 years. In this letter, Ms. Wheeler accuses me of entering the hospital computer system and changing the address on a bill that she had received. Apparently, in February (1994) and December 3, 1994, Joan Wheeler received a bill intended for a J.Wheeler. (name censored by Ruth Pace, November 2011)

I first became aware of this accusation on January 3, 1995, by my immediate supervisor, G.W., RN, who had received a telephone call from Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. During this call, Ms. Wheeler accused me of conspiring with someone in the billing department in order to “mess up her bill.”

Ms. W. told Ms. Wheeler that the computer terminals at the nursing station where I work can not access the hospital billing system. However, Ms. Wheeler kept insisting that I had done it, and asked Ms. Williamson “Don’t you know what kind of people you have working for you?” Ms. W. told her that she had known me for more than 15 years, and that I was an exceptional worker.

Ms. W. called patient accounts and they told her that when Ms. Wheeler had called them, they had explained to her that it was a simple typing error and it had been corrected while she still on the phone with them. I spoke to a supervisor in the billing department (whose name I cannot recall), the first week of January, 1995. This woman verified that Ms. Wheeler had called, and the problem had been corrected.

I also spoke to Mr. S. on February 16, 1995, and he told me that he had checked into Ms. Wheeler’s complaint, and found that it appeared to be an honest mistake, and he told Ms. Wheeler that.

However, Ms. Wheeler has continued to call Buffalo General Hospital demanding to speak to supervisors about my “behavior,” although she had been told that I had nothing to do with it.

I was informed by a secretary at the nursing office that during the late afternoon of February 9, 1995, nearly two months after the problem was taken care of, Ms. Wheeler called and wanted the names of my supervisors so that she could “write letters to them.” I have also been informed of at least 4 other occasions in December and January, where Ms. Wheeler had called the hospital and either demanded to speak to my supervisor or to obtain the names of other supervisory personel.

I have alerted hospital administration to this problem, and Ms. E.F., of the Human Resources Department has also been of great help and support to me. My employers are aware that I am not the cause of Ms. Wheeler’s billing problems and these events are not related at all to my performance of my job. In fact, I received an excellent job evaluation on March 1, 1995.

I maintain my innocence in any problems that Ms. Wheeler may have concerning her bills from Buffalo General Hospital. I was not even working either December 13, or December 14 when the last error occured (December 14, 1994).

I attended the hospital’s computer training class only recently, (March 8, 1995), and on March 22, I received my assigned secret password that will allow me access to the nursing station computer terminal. I can only access the programs that pertain to the nursing care for the current patients on my nursing unit.

I object to Ms. Wheeler calling the hospital and accusing me of all sorts of harassing behavior towards her and discussing my private family matters. She also did this as long ago as 1987, calling Mrs. C. M.-H. told me that Ms. Wheeler had told her details of our family history. I also object to Ms. Wheeler informing Mr. S. details of my private home life, my private medical problems, and of my previous dealings with the court. I also fail to see what my having been in an orphanage while I was a child has to do with Ms. Wheeler’s erroneous bill.

She accuses me of trying to “do something” to her, but on page 2 of her letter to my niece, she admits that she tried  to sabotage my relationship with my fiance by telling him that “he had better think twice if he wants to continue living with a woman who would accuse him of child abuse.” I maintain my innocence of any call made to child welfare about Ms. Wheeler and am also angry that someone would involve my fiance in it. My fiance believes in my innocence, and did not let this accusation stop him from presenting me with a diamond engagement ring on Christmas morning, 1994.

In another letter that Ms. Wheeler wrote to my niece, she admits that she (Ms. Wheeler), knows that I am listed with the phone company under “Brittany” Sippel. I had requested to be listed under that name to prevent Ms. Wheeler from obtaining my unlisted phone number. Since I had never informed her of this, the only way Ms. Wheeler could have found this information would be for her to call Directory Assistance and asking for any listing for my home address. For obvious reasons, I do not want her to have my phone number and I am concerned that she is trying to obtain it.

Ms. Wheeler has also recently written letters to Anthony Masiello, mayor of Buffalo, State Senator Anthony Nanula, Erie County District Attorney Kevin Dillon, and Erie County Social Services Commissioner Deborah Merrifield. Ms. Wheeler sent me copies of these letters which I subsequently passed along to Detective Martin Harrington, of the Buffalo Police Department, as proof of Ms. Wheeler’s harassment of me. These letters are also libelous against me in their content, and in her letter to Commissioner Merrifield a reference is made to a “detailed family history” that Ms. Wheeler apparently sent to Ms. Merrifield. I have not seen this “detailed family history,” but I am sure my name is mentioned in it, since the purpose of all this letter writing is nothing less than a vicious smear campaign against me. (Ruth’s note – as these are public officials, I have not censored their names.)

I respectfully ask the court to tell Ms. Wheeler to stop writing letters about me and stop placing phone calls in an obvious attempt to damage my good name and reputation at Buffalo General Hospital.
Respectfully submitted,

Ruth B. Sippel

Graphics of scanned court documents, etc. that prove without a doubt that Joan Wheeler is a liar in her book Forbidden Family. November 27, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Here are some documents that I scanned into my computer. Just click on each picture to see the larger version. They are very interesting. These are actual court documents. These have been posted in the past – they prove without a doubt that Joan Wheeler lied about the court proceedings between me and her. Come on, Joan – explain – you’re the one who’s always saying adoptees are looking for “truth.” So here’s the truth. Let’s hear your explanation!

First up: the ruling of Buffalo City Court in August 1993 giving Joan a six-month order of protection against me for annoyance phone calls. The dates were from August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. It was NOT for August 1 as she puts in her book. As for the court giving me her new address after she moved, that was done to tell me where I was not supposed to go – but she put in her book that she complained because now I had her new address. Big deal – I didn’t go there, didn’t call her – didn’t know her boyfriend’s name – not like the lying crap she put in her book. If I violated the order of protection, and she called the police like she said in the book, I would have been arrested. Since I was NEVER arrested, (because I didn’t violate the order of protection), and the court reviewed my conduct in February 1994, (and they found I was “clean”), the order of protection was dismissed. Of course Joan puts her own little spin on the events in her book. – Oh by the way – she says in her book that in early December  1993 I called child abuse on her and then she took me to court. Well, wouldn’t that be IN THE MONTHS THE ORDER OF PROTECTION WAS IN EFFECT? According to Joan’s timetable of events – it would – but I’m sorry to break it to you – events and things that Ruth did or didn’t do – didn’t happen the way Joan says in her book. She’s  a filthy liar. The writing is hard to see – so what I did is this: the first graphic is the complete document. The second is a closeup on my name – Ruth Sippel – the third one is a closeup of the dates – a very sloppy clerk put the end date for the beginning date, then crossed it out – but you can see the begin date (you really have to look) as August 9, 1994 and the end date of February 9, 1994.

Next is this one from Family Court from 1999. This is to show that  Joan lied when she said  we spent three months in court in 1994 and in the summer of 1994 she was granted a one-year restraining order against me. I took her to court for harassment in early 1999 – the COURT CLERK went into the computer to research any court proceedings between me and Joan. The COURT COMPUTER correctly showed the 1993 case wherein Joan received the SIX MONTH Order of Protection against me and the 1995 case wherein Judge Anderson dismissed the harassment charges I filed against Joan. The COURT COMPUTER did not show ANY court dates in 1994 – Why? BECAUSE WE WERE NEVER IN COURT IN 1994! Read Article #5 on this document, near the bottom of the page to see ALL court dates of  ALL court proceedings between me and Joan – you will not see one for 1994. Because Joan is a LIAR!

This graphic is of the actual letter Joan wrote to Albany, New York about the false child abuse call that was placed against her on December 22, 1994. On page 328 – 329 she says the call was made in early December 1993. (She did this to show her readers how I was violating the Order of Protection, but I have the proof right here – and in this letter, she tells the New York State Child Abuse and Maltreatment Center that I was placed on probation in 1993. SLANDER! Because if you go back and look at that 1999 printout from Family Court – it says no such thing!

This one here is a doozy – this is a letter that Joan wrote to the Director of Patient Accounts where I work with her filthy accusations of me tampering with her bill. Notice on page 2 she says “The six month probation period ended on February 9, 1994.” SLANDER! I WAS NEVER SENTANCED TO PROBATION – I WAS GIVEN AN RESTRAINING ORDER TO STAY AWAY FROM JOAN – Probation and an order of protection are two different things! Not only does this prove her slandering me to someone where I work – but it proves that she knew the correct dates and duration (six months) of  the restraining order and LIED when she said in the book it was for one year.

Here’s the summons that Joan received ordering her to court to answer my charges of harassment. Notice the date she was to appear – April 3, 1995. And look at the note she wrote – to MY fiance and to MY future mother-in-law!

Here’s another doozy letter from Joan – sent to MY fiance at his mother’s house – clear evidence of her trying to break me and John up – “are you leaving her?” And look at how she’s pressuring him to work on me to drop the charges and trying to involve my future mother-in-law, who never met Joan. She only had the woman’s address because she drove me and John there once. Obviously she made a note of it, but stupid cow that she is – she got the zipcode wrong! Oh – but doesn’t she have 2 college degrees? Isn’t she smart enough to look up a correct zipcode?

So there you have it – and these are not the only documents I have. I have posted other things in the past on this blog, but there are some things that haven’t gotten up yet. And I’m only half done in refuting that filthy lying book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler. Joan- get ready to eat some crap. Because the truth is coming out – it’s been coming out for two years now – you lied in that book, the truth was shown to your publisher and because of  your lies and your SLANDERING me and others – your book is dead. oh, too bad!

Harassing letter from Joan Wheeler to Ruth Sippel Pace May 1998 October 12, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Hey guys! You know how Joan Wheeler is always saying how she NEVER harasses her birth sisters, but it’s her birth sisters who are ALWAYS harassing her? She says in her stupid book she’s never bothered me or anybody else. She says all over the internet, and on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Chance that because she’s never bothered us, she can’t understand why we keep bothering her.

Well, yesterday, Gert and I wrote a couple of blog posts over at Gert’s blog. My post (which is actually a companion piece to Gert’s – is called “Harassing letter from Joan Wheeler to Ruth Sippel Pace in May 1998. You really need to see it – so you can see the REAL Joan Wheeler.

Adoptees: you’re always clamoring for the TRUTH – well, here ya go! Do you dare to put your money where your mouths are? Are you TRULY advocating for CHANGE?  Ya wanna see how one of your own is playing you guys for fools? Will you accept my challenge? Or simply pull the blankets over your heads in denial? – I don’t know about you guys – but if someone is playing me for a fool – I’d wanna know – so I could put a stop to it – because I won’t be played for a fool. But I guess you guys ENJOY being someone’s fool.

Harassing letter from Joan Wheeler to Ruth Sippel Pace in May 1998

UPDATE SEPT 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor!

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2016/05/12/joan-mary-wheeler-has-legally-changed-her-name-to-doris-michol-sippel/

Joan Wheeler’s condemnation of her birth sister Ruth smacks of stupid judgment – and Ruth turns the tables right back on Joan. September 23, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Having Fun with Disfunctionality, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In Gert’s post “Joan Wheeler’s attempts at ‘Mending the Broken Pieces of Our Lives’” Gert discusses something that Joan addresses on page 370, about a piece of hate mail  that Joan received in the year 2000, which of course, she attributes to — you guessed it – ME.

WHY is it always ME?  The writing is not mine. Joan does say the note MIGHT have  come from my friend.

I got news for you Joan – if you are writing a NON-fiction book, you can’t have MIGHTS in this book. You either present the FACTS or you don’t. My friend just might be taking you to court for this. – Remember the guidelines set forth by Trafford to prospective writers about slander – “If a person can recognize themself in the work, you can be sued for slander.” And since it takes no rocket scientist for “Brenda” to recognize herself and “Brenda’s” best friend – we know who you’re talking about.

And this postcard, that Joan received, has two different handwritings on it – and neither handwriting is mine, nor my friend’s.

And I just love how Joan describes me and my friend – “their language reflected the lifestyle they had chosen.”

 EXCUSE ME? How dare Joan say such a thing? MY lifestyle? What does that mean Joan? Are you saying because I use cuss words I am a tramp? I’m not the only person who uses cuss words.

 Well, Joan, by that definition, YOU condemned YOURSELF and every person on The Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change – because YOU, Joan, called me “fuckhead” on a post there. Your good friend Mara swears regularly over there and on other websites. Mara even came to my blog and told me to go F myself.

 Using swear words should NOT be a condemnation of a person’s lifestyle. And it is a judgment call on Joan’s part. Well, Joan, as I pointed out, since YOU have a filthy mouth and all the “adult” adoptees on that forum also have filthy mouths, let’s use YOUR own judgments Joan. Your filthy mouths are reflections of the lifestyles YOU adoptees have chosen.

 But as we see again and again, Joan simply MUST show her sisters, and RUTH in particular as being a pig or worse. (After all, she did call me swine on her website).  And Joan did she say in her book that I lived in the inner city and that people living in the inner city were trash.  Trash? Well, for a period of time (1988-1990) Joan herself lived in the Inner City. Again, using JOAN’S own judgment, residents of the Inner City are trash. And since Joan lived in the inner city, she is calling herself trash.

 So, let’s see, MY lifestyle – right. This past Sunday, Sept. 18, marked my 39th anniversary of my being hired as a nurses’ aide. All at the same facility. I have worked the night shift, 11pm – 7am all those years, (except for 4years in the 70’s when I had to get up at 5am). I have done hands on patient care. I have worked in various medical/surgical nursing units throughout the hospital. In the late 80’s, I worked on the cardiac floor, and a step-down respiratory unit, then 4 years in the medical intensive care unit. Then I worked 5 years on the gyn/floor which also include 7 beds assigned for hospice. Since the year 2000, I have worked on the renal/kidney transplant floor.

 In 1995, I served on a committee that helped redesign patient care. In 1996 I attended union steward training classes. In 1999 I attended classes which earned my New York State Certification. Three years ago, I attended classes and am now a Patient Care Assistant – which means I do more work. In addition to nurse aide duties, I am now a phlebotomist.

 During the past 39 years, I have gained the respect from my co-workers throughout the hospital. Aides, nurses, supervisors and doctors have given me their respect.

 In my personal life, from 1980, when I first began taking lessons, to the mid-90’s, I was a professional Middle Eastern Dancer, and also served on the Board of Directors of The Beledi Club.

 In the mid-90’s, I began to explore local politics – With my husband and a few friends on my street, I organized a Clean-Up Campaign, organized a Rodent Control Petition to be submitted to the mayor of Buffalo. In 1997, under the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs, I organized a Block Club for my street and surrounding area. My husband and I did volunteer work in the Coalition office, manual labor, such as installing drywall, painting, etc. I contributed to the Coalition newsletter, and helped to distribute that. In 1998, after a thorough background check, by the Buffalo Police Department, (which turned up NO arrest record, contrary to Joan’s stating that I have one), I attended class at the Buffalo Police Academy to become a VIABLE volunteer. (Volunteers in Aiding Buffalo Law Enforcement). This enabled me to do man the Police Satellite Station at the Coalition and take in Quality of Life complaints.

 Due to my work in the Coalition, I have attended meetings with the mayor of Buffalo, members of the Buffalo Common Council (of which, one of them, is now my personal friend), and members of the police department.

 I have been urged in the past, by neighbors, extended family members, acquaintances, and even a former Common Council member, to run for political office.

 In the year 2000, I hooked up with some local Star Trek fans and joined their group The USS Ari – a chapter of Starfleet International. I began contributing to the club’s newsletter, finally taking over the newsletter completely in 2005, and in 2009, I became the head of this group.

 During all this, after having bought my house in 1996, and paying off the mortgage in 10 years, I have landscaped my property and done much hands-on improvements. I don’t like to cook. But I can wield a mighty mean reciprocating saw and staple gun. – I’ve always been a bit of a tom-boy! Is this what Joan means? That I don’t dress in dresses? Yeah, I prefer to wear jeans and slacks – so what? So did Katherine Hepburn! And may I remind you – I was a belly dancer – one of the most graceful and sensuous dances around. I can be a lady – or a construction worker! Just because I don’t like to cook, doesn’t mean that I can’t cook. I can cook very well.

 On my job, I give encouragement and compassion. I have held the hands of the dying. And comforted their families. I have cradled the mother who just miscarried her baby. I have rejoiced with my patients when their organ transplant is successful, and cried with them when it has failed. Yeah, I empty bedpans. So did Dr. Christian Barnard, the surgeon who performed the world’s first heart transplant. He worked as a male nurse’s aide in his pre-med days, working his way thru college.

 From 1975 – 1985, I was with a most amazing man from Yemen. He didn’t have much of a formal education, but he was so intelligent. He taught me so much. And encouraged me in many things. He was not your typical stereotype of an Arab man – no, Abdo respected my independence – even encouraged me. Even after we amicably broke up, and he returned to his homeland, when he came back to Buffalo in 1994, he was still a good friend to me and my present husband. so much so, that when he died in 2003, even my present husband John broke down and cried.

 John – I can’t even begin to write about him. For if I did, I’d never stop typing. Suffice it to say that he has been my best friend from 1978 to now.

I really believe that Joan’s putting down my lifestyle has more to do with her BEING JEALOUS OF ME, then an accusation. I have had two amazing husbands, who never cheated on me. (Joan’s marriage was full of infidelitys, from both sides). Both my husbands always held down jobs, and even when they were laid off, (the Arab guy too), pitched in and did the housework. Both my husbands placed me on a pedestal, while Joan’s husband did not. Right around the time Joan’s marriage was falling apart (1990-1994) was the same time Joan was actively trying to break me and John up. It was during this same time, Joan was calling my place of employment trying to get me fired.

 Getting back to that obscene note that Joan puts in her book. – Gert postulates that perhaps Joan, in her mental madness wrote the note herself. There is that possibility. Joan is certainly quite capable of that kind of subterfuge. She did after all, forge a letter, pretending to be her own 10 year old son, and sent that letter to me. Joan is always playing games with the post office. In letters to my cousin Gail and me, Joan has deliberately put down the wrong zip-codes in return addresses.  For example, in one harassing letter she sent to Gail, it was correctly addressed to Gail, but the return address was Joan’s name, but the street address, city and zipcode was Gail’s. This way, if Gail marked “return to sender”, the post office would send it right back to Gail. Joan did the same to me. In 1999, Joan even used a friend’s address, WITHOUT HER FRIEND’S KNOWLEDGE OR PERMISSION – to send me a letter telling me that my husband had gotten the next-door neighbor pregnant.

 In reading the obscene note, there are references to “I smell fish. Summer’s Eve and Mr. Clean. And an accusation of Joan being a “Hoe.” Joan seems stuck on that word Hoe. Earlier this year, I had rebutted an online comment of Joan. She had used one of her screen names HalfOrphan. I began my rebuttal using the complete name HalfOrphan, but then shortened it to HO. I had no intention of calling her a whore. But she went on the Adult Adoptees forum and said that I did. I pointed out that there are chocolate cakes called Ho-HO’s. But what does Joan see? – Whore.

 Who sent that card to Joan? I don’t know. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t my friend, who incidentally also has a very good lifestyle, having worked in a mortgage title company, a paralegal, and as a receptionist in the x-ray department in a hospital run by the Buffalo CATHOLIC Hospitals. As a single mom, she raised her son, who is now, at the age of 22, working in his uncles’ home construction company. Her son, unlike many of his age group, has never been in trouble with the law or done drugs or other stupid things. He is a very caring young man, who once, when I was taking care of him (when he was 10 years old), I was snoozing on the couch, went upstairs, got a blanket, and tucked me in.

 Yes, I live in the inner city. And I have seen many things, including a young man being shot to death right in front of my house. Later in the police station, I comforted his family, including his grandmother, who witnessed his slaughter. I have fought with the drug dealers and others in my neighborhood, making my neighborhood a cleaner, safer place to live. And what does Joan do? She actually puts me down in her book for this!

There are three possible scenarios for this postcard. Number One – how do we really know that Joan REALLY received this note (and indeed other pieces of hate mail she reports) in the mail? She does not give us a picture of the envelope. Number Two – how do we know that Joan didn’t have a friend (or friends, because there IS two different handwriting on it) write this thing out, Joan photocopied it for the book, just to portray ME as a disgusting piece of slime. OR Number Three – a pissed off wife or girlfriend of one of Joan’s many liaisons could have sent it. With the references to Joan’s anatomy – there is that distinct possibility.

 Joan reports that I have sent her some harassing letters. No, any letters I sent her were in response to garbage that I had received from her. I just spent several days scanning those letters into my computer. Yes, I kept the originals, having sent Joan only the photocopies of what I wrote. I have also transcribed them. Yes, there are some “cuss” words contained in my letters. But you will be shocked to read what I wrote – not shocked at my use of colorful metaphors, but what my letters allude to – Joan’s own rotten behavior and harassing letters that she sent to me. I also have some letters that Joan sent, and some letters from another family member. These will be posted to this blog in time. They will knock your socks off.

In a phone conversation I had with Joan’s ex-husband in 1998, I mentioned that I was just putting anything Joan sent me in a box. Apparently he told Joan this because in a nasty email to me in 2004, Joan says “I don’t care how much paperwork you have against me.”

 Oh, Joan, you arrogant little weasel, you will care. Because people will see the “real” you. And they will see just who the bully has been all these years – YOU, JOAN WHEELER – YOU!

1. gertmcqueenSeptember 24, 2011

Gert here:
Well said Ruth…you have given us a very good summary of some of your accomplishments in a ‘upward mobility’ kind of way…you have worked to improve yourself and your quality of life and you take no nonsense from fools and idiots…

Nowhere, I repeat nowhere, does Joan do the same thing, all she does she talk about her lack in life and how everyone is out to get her…

I particular liked this of what you said upon:

Apparently he told Joan this because in a nasty email to me in 2004, Joan says “I don’t care how much paperwork you have against me.”
Oh, Joan, you arrogant little weasel, you will care. Because people will see the “real” you. And they will see just who the bully has been all these years – YOU, JOAN WHEELER – YOU!

This is so true, people who live in glass houses should NEVER throw stones…and in the case of letters, Joan has left alot of paper/stones around for us to throw at her house of glass…
We have only just begun.

Ruth here again:

Did I forget to mention in my assessment of my lifestyle, that I also a wicked sense of humor? ha ha ha. Speaking of pigs:

A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (O.M.G.!!!)

 A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy. I’m still not over the pig.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is … attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off. (Honey, I’m home . What the…?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still can’t believe that pig …quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing.)

A cat’s urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (Talk about a southpaw.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?) 

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