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Doris Michol Sippel fka Joan Mary Wheeler was recently in a depressed state for some time (as per own admission) and WHAM! came out of it into a full-blown manic episode and foaming at the mouth over her anti-adoption and her hatred of her birth sisters. May 7, 2017

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Joan/Doris came across a website by a couple looking to adopt and made a blog post bitching about them on April 30, 2017. I was alerted to her new blogpost via my email because I subscribe to her blog. Not that I’m really interested in what that nutball has to say, but I ‘monitor’ what she writes. I have said in the past that I keep an eye on her online activities to be alerted to when she says shit about me. She calls my ‘monitoring’ her as CYBERSTALKING AND CYBERBULLYING. No, I call it monitoring to see what she says about ME. Keep your mouth shut about me Joan/Doris and then you won’t have pissed me off again. DUH!

So, yeah, I ‘subscribe’ to her blog and when I get an email notification of a new blog post by her – I go check it out. And yep, she did it again! — For a couple of years now, she has actually been posting her anti-adoption stuff (yawn) WITHOUT mentioning her birth sisters – ALL OF SUDDEN, SHE DRAGS US INTO HER SHIT AGAIN. And being spectacularly STUPID in her jab against us. Here’s the quote from her post: “I have had absolutely no contact for nearly 40 years with the sisters who found me. I want it that way. Not because I am against reunion, but because they are cruel, insanely vicious people. “

Let’s see, this is the year 2017 – minus 40 years – that takes us back to 1977. Um, Joan, asshole, did you forget I was one of your fucking bridesmaids when you got married in 1983? WHO drove you and your newborn daughter home from the hospital in 1986? And in your idiotic book you did mention that you and I used to be close, going to the beach together with your kids in 1989. Were you having a Donny Trump incoherent moment there? Listen, sweetie, if you want to be taken seriously, you need to get your math and facts correct – And I am NOT going to deal with “alternative facts” concerning MY life. Don’t forget, you filled your book with ‘alternative facts’ but – my sending the actual police and court documents to Trafford Publications is what counted – the real facts, baby, the real truth of what happened, and because you tried to pull a fast one, lying to Trafford that everything in your book was ‘factual and true,’ MY truthful documents got your book pulled from publication.

Also on facebook, when Joan/Doris shared her blog post to the facebook group “Adoption Sucks” she calls us “evil” – so, I am an evil cruel, insanely vicious person? Really Joan? really? Hows that again where in 2012 you called my job with lies to get me fired? And then you were on twitter dragging me into something I didn’t know anything about and accusing me of doing something, while I was sleeping. — I had no idea what she was talking about until I called a cousin to find out that another cousin’s husband had died, and I was NOT to arrange an adoption of her little girl. -????? newsflash – I’ve never been in the adoption industry.

Well, let’s talk about EVIL here.

 EVIL – calling your sister’s workplace with lies to get her fired. — that’s what Joan/Doris did to me in 1994-95 and 2012.

 EVIL is writing a letter to your sister telling her that her husband got the next door neighbor pregnant – and the house was vacant – that’s what Joan/Doris did to me in 1997.

 EVIL is scamming your sister out of $700.00 – that’s what Joan/Doris did to me in 1989.

Get your ‘evil sister’ straight Joan/Doris.

Let’s talk about LIES Joan/Doris –

Joan/Doris also said on the “Adoption Suck’s fb page that she figured out how to stop us from commenting on her blog. – um, nope, we never commented on her stupid blog. And she said she can’t stop me from liking her latest blog post – um, no, I never “liked’ her latest blog post. — here’s what she said: “Just a reminder, folks: please, let’s have more comments on this over at my blog! I finally figured out how to block my evil sisters from commenting. But I could not blocked them individually from the “Like” Button, so that is why I didn’t activate one. So please, head on over and fill up the comments! Thanks!”

Joan/Doris apparently was also ‘sanctioned’ by facebook because — she was willfully engaged in calling for CYBERSTALKING the website, the private email, and the public facebook page of the couple who were looking to adopt.

May 2 at 11:37pm — Doris Michol Sippel Hmm… I was punished by Facebook and blocked from posting for several days. WHY? Because I posted the contact info for J. HUH? THEY posted it on their blog and Facebook page! Well, I have it on file! Still gonna educated these morons!

UH, Joni/Doris, — maybe you should stop cyberbullying people. Oh? What’s that you said about me CYBERSTALKING AND CYBERBULLYING you when I freely admit to ‘monitoriing’ what you say about me? — Yes, another example of Joan/Doris doing exactly to people what she bitches about people ‘doing’ to her. What a fucking moronic hypocrite.

Now, let’s talk about Joan/Doris deigning to EDUCATE people. — “Still gonna educated these morons!” — she was foaming at the mouth at the couple who want to adopt because they said the wrong word. By the way, the past tense indicated by the d at the end of ‘educate’ was by Joan/Doris herself – the great, the all-knowing, the wonderful heroine of all adoptees. (yeah right). (Joan, dear, if you want to ‘educate’ people, be sure you are using correct grammar and spelling.)

Last time she ‘educated’ someone in ‘proper adoption terminology’ was in November 2017, at her very own first (and probably her last) book signing! She attended a group book signing for local authors sponsored by a local museum and she struck up a conversation with the author to her right, and then when the woman used ‘improper adoption terminology’ – Joan began yelling and screaming at her. No, I wasn’t there to witness it. How do I know what happened? JOAN/DORIS HERSELF POSTED ABOUT IT ON FACEBOOK!!! — Yes, JOAN/DORIS WAS ACTUALLY PROUD OF HERSELF FOR ACTING LIKE A BITCH! I doubt very much that she will have any book signings in the future.

Well Joan/Doris — I will use the adoption terminology that I always have and what YOU yourself always have — we are BIRTH-sisters. NOT sisters at all. YOU gave up the right to call yourself my sister when you finagled that money out of me, reneged on your promise to repay me, and started on your hate-filled harassments of me. Want a refresher Joan – read about your fucking EVIL AND VICIOUSLY CRUEL THINGS YOU DID TO ME – right here on this page of this blog: What is Demanded from Joan Wheeler (click here to be directed to new page–— who’s the EVIL one Joan? YOU ARE.

And as for ‘educating’ people, why don’t you educate your fellow angry adoptees on — infertility, that YOU boasted to me on the phone in 1987, saying “I know more about infertility than you think I do.” — no, bitch, you know nothing. And talk about evil and cruely vicious – THREE FUCKING TIMES I TOLD YOU DURING THAT PHONE CONVERSATION THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY MISCARRIAGE AND YOU KEPT YOUR FUCKING EVIL CRUEL MOUTH GOING UNTIL I SLAMMED THE PHONE DOWN.

You had given birth to two beautiful children by then, you knew that I had been trying to get pregnant for years, you were at the hospital while I was in surgery to repair the damage from my ectopic pregnancy. But YOU ‘knew’ more about infertility than me? I don’t think so bitch.

Here – why don’t you go educate your fellow angry adoptee who left this evil, cruel and vicious comment to the couple you attacked on April 30,. 2017. “my advice is to just keep fking , one of the little buggers will do the job eventually!”

Joan/Doris, you claim to be an expert in genetics, baby-making, sperm and egg stuff, sperm donors, etc., and with your extensive list of ex-boyfriends, you have the knowledge to educate that particular moron. Not only in how a sperm and an egg might meet or might not meet but in your extensive knowledge in men. You must know more positions that are in the kama-sutra!

aw, was that last paragraph evil and viciously cruel of me? TOO BAD. You asked for it bitch – next time, don’t drag me into your anti-adoption stuff.

But let us continue talking about evil and cruelly vicious people- Remember that time you were part of that discussion group Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change and you ‘angry adoptees’ were pissed at actress Edie Falco being an adoptive mom? And one bitch in that group said “Would someone stuff a sock in her (Edie Falco’s) mouth, soak it in gasoline and set it on fire?”

You, Joan/Doris and all your ‘angry adoptees’ buddies are all a bunch of sick assholes.


gertmcqueen – May 8, 2017 

excellent post! The reason that Joan/Doris was PUNISHED by Facebook was NOT because she published someone’s phone or personal info (which was posted via them on their page) but BECAUSE J/D WILLFULLY cyber-stalked, harassed and called for OTHERS to do the same and then contact FB that the page was spam! J/D did the same thing to that author in Buffalo last Dec. Ruth and my comments are still on the FB page AGAINST J/D’s actions.


She thinks nothing of destroying other people if they DON’T do as she says! She has done this ALL her life! If anyone really WANTS to know about her just read Ruth and my blogs and the back and forth comments on Amazon for her 3 lying books and the forums on Amazon. Sure that would be a LOT of work, but with OUT THE KNOWLEDGE of J/D’s CHARACTER and her past DEEDS AND WORDS, no one can counter her. In other words…if you are HER VICTIM you must take actions against her. How? Spread the words about her to your friends and your agencies, PRIVATELY. Here’s what you NEED.

The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism’ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/ this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor


 this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

Also see this Facebook page…which is a STUDY of the books.


 In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

 Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum


 Joan Mary Wheeler forum


 review of first book and 4 comments




Doris Michol Sippel aka Joan Mary Wheeler just CAN’T keep her mouth shut about me. She gets shot down on Huffington Post, and brings me into it – even tho I was OUT of it (Jan, 2017). February 11, 2017

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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I have been meaning to put up this blog post for a month now. But life keeps getting in the way. Wierd how that works. lol. This is about Joan/Doris browbeating people, as usual, who have a different viewpoint than her. In this case, a simple article about human breast milk turns into Joan putting down adoptive mothers (her favorite past time because she has no life other than heaping hate onto adopters and adoption), flinging mud at people, and getting the mud flung right back at her, and then frigging DRAGGING ME INTO IT.  

I had seen the preview to this article when a Facebook friend of mine shared it. I glanced at the article, didn’t bother to comment on it. Gert looked at the article and comments and noticed one comment by Cathy D. that said basically that Joan was wrong and countered Joan’s claim that adoptive moms who breastfeed their adoptive children (if they are able to) are abusing the babies and commented that Joan does not know what abuse is. Gert answered Cathy, another commenter disagreed with Joan, and Joan was off and running – trashing Cathy D. and Ramona J. (the second commenter), Gert, and by extension ME. — Joan said “And, if there are any comments here from my sisters ( they are blocked from my Facebook but I can guess they are still cyber stalking me) I can assure you that they are guilty of many abuses upon me and my adoptive mother, and my children. ” — Take note how she types sister(S) – plural, when only ONE sister (Gert) had commented, and then notice how she goes out of her way to say she can’t see OUR comments, because she has blocked us, and then proceeds to tell LIES about us again. I’d like to know what abuses I heaped on her mother and kids. As to anything I wrote to or about her, was in answer to the abuses she has done to me! But this post is not about all that – it’s that I’d like to know WHY Joan went out of her way to mention us. — But I already know the answer to that question — we CAN see each other comments on Huffington Post AND Gert and I DO see Joan’s Facebook posts because sometimes people will take screenshots and send them to us via Facebook private message. 

So, if Gert and I can SEE Joan’s activity, Joan can see US. And she SAW Gert’s comment – because otherwise, she wouldn’t have brought us into the conversation – IF she hadn’t seen Gert’s comment, she would have kept the mud-slinging to Cathy D. and Ramona J. – AND she ONLY saw Gert’s comment – not anything from ME, because — I HAD NOT WRITTEN A COMMENT. — So WHY the sister(S) plural? Because Joan WANTS me in her life. Despite always saying on the internet she wants me OUT of it. 

She has not mentioned us online in a looooonnnngggg time. She must be getting lonely. We have noticed, that when Joan is ill, breaks up with her boyfriend-of-the-month, something goes wrong in her life (usually of her own doing), she gets going on the internet and says something she knows we will see. We have made her aware that we MONITOR (she calls it cyber-stalking), but we MONITOR what she says BECAUSE OF THIS HERE BULLSHIT. She can’t keep her fucking mouth SHUT about us.  

Her latest act of self-sabotage was on November 26, 2016, when she appeared at her very first book-signing event as an author. A local history museum sponsored a group book-signing event for new/up-and-coming authors. Joan, striving to become a ‘noted author,’ gets into an argument with the lady next to her and began SCREAMING at the woman, because the woman used “wrong adoption terminology.” At a public event, JOAN IS SCREAMING AT SOMEONE. — Then Joan takes it two notches higher (or rather lower, since she is a low-life, and she always engages in underhanded shit) – she posts on December 1, 2016 on Facebook of how PROUD she is that she VERBALLY ABUSED this woman (but reports that her sisters ‘abuse’ her) and then publicizes the woman’s contact info and commands other wacko adoptees to CYBER-STALK and otherwise stalk the woman (but bitches when (?) her sisters cyber stalk her). My guess is that Joan KNOWS she shot herself in the foot by acting like an asshole at the book-signing event, and turned people against her, and had ‘gone into herself’ again. (she does that when she is in the depressive state of her bi-polarism). And then decided she wanted contact with her birth siblings again. (and we have noticed that this is what she does when she goes depressive – she starts talking about us). She desperately WANTS us in her life. AND because — she only saw ONE comment from ONE birth sister – Gert, and ONLY Gert, she decided to pluralize it – to DRAG ME INTO IT. And I responded as I always do – throw the mud right back at her.  

So here is the entire comment exchange and the link to the webpage: 

Joan’s first comment: commenting as her birth name Doris Michol Sippel

Doris Michol Sippel · Owner-operator at Self-Employed A quote from the article: “ ‘As I was reading an article about how breast milk carries up to a million white blood cells in one drop, my mom was already looking at her blood, so I asked if we could see the white blood cells in my milk while she had the microscope on,’ she recalled.” 

Nature intended mothers to breastfeed their own babies. But, all-to-eager and misguided adoptive “mothers” have convinced doctors to build a breastfeeding apparatus that straps onto the woman, with a bag of milk or formula attached to a tube which is placed near the nipple so that the infant she adopted from the real mother can suckle. The action of suckling, combined with drugs the woman takes to artificially stimulate her mammary glands to produce milk, eventually begins to produce milk. Thus, an adopter can breastfeed the newborn.  

To adopters, this is great! Photos have been plastered all over the internet by bragging adopters about this wonderful invention. 

From the baby’s perspective, however, this is deception. The baby is fed artificially produced milk from a mother who is not the biological mother. So there are no correct antibodies, no natural white blood cells in this milk. This is a form of sexual abuse, child abuse, and medical malpractice. 

What other microscopic bits are passed on through breastmilk? Can artificially produced breastmilk from a non-biologiocal mother harm an infant?  

Perhaps it is time to ask the medical profession to protect infants from this forced abuse. 

I am an adopted person who has researched adoption since 1974. Many other adopted individuals are also repulsed by adopters who think they can fulfill a biological role that only the real mother can fulfil. (sic) 

Thank you for posting this as a reality wake up call to those who think they can imitate nature. 

Jan 9, 2017 8:16pm

Cathy D.· Owner-operator at You design      …Abuse? I think you might need to look up the definition of “abuse.” You do realize that without that “artifically produced milk” the baby would still require artifically produced milk from another mammal in order to sustain life, correct? If an adoptive parent goes to that great a length to nurture a baby when that same result can easily be purchased, that child is the very furthest thing from abused. Please seek counselling, your issues with adoption are not healthy. 

 Jan 9, 2017 11:37pm      Gert Mcqueen · Works at Happily Retired Cathy D… Doris Michol Sippel (adopted as Joan Mary Wheeler) has a long history of histrionics; she likes drama, likes to shock people. By using these techniques she thinks people will listen to her profound wisdoms for they don’t have ‘her’ background and knowledge (she’s an expert). Generally people are turned off by her. No amount of reasoning works on her! She’s anti-adoption so any topic that she can hijack, she will, to promote her anti-adoption crap. 

Ramona J.      Doris, your adoption experience is not that of all adopted people. Help is available for your issues. Clearly you require professional assistance to deal with them. 

Doris Michol Sippel · Owner-operator at Self-Employed      Ramona J. I do not need help, thank you. I am an activist. You people are sorely uniformed. And, if there are any comments here from my sisters ( they are blocked from my facebook but I can guess they are still cyberstalking me) I can assure you that they are guilty of many abuses upon me and my adoptive mother, and my children. Go ahead, have a heyday. I have been mocked since 1974. Yet, I stand strong in my activism, for I know I am right. Think what you like, water off the duck’s back. 

Gert McQueen to Ramona    Ramona J…

Ah yes.. Doris Michol Sippel (adopted as Joan Mary Wheeler) does indeed detest her birth siblings! Why?? Because we bring forth the exploitation, libel and misrepresentations that ‘she’ has written about OUR PARENTS! She can’t abide that anyone should contradict her! She’s been in ‘therapy’ for over 30 years, she does love therapy! When I ADOPTED my flesh and blood in ‘step-parent’ adoption, she could NOT abide that! Why? She’s anti-adoption, period, end of story, don’t try to convince her of anything other than what she KNOWS…poor baby! No one understand her!

Her first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism’ published in 2009, was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011 due to libelous material in it. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’, being her own editor and owner. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and reedited and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people! 

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace · Queen at Retired     ah yes, the old “lump all her birth-sisters into one entity delusion.”

I am the other birth sister (Gert is one, I am the other). I read all this a few hours ago and was not interested in leaving a comment, but since Joan/Doris dragged me into it.  

Cyberstalking??? Let’s talk plain stalking. Back in November 2012, Joan/Doris wrote a letter to my job with lies to get me fired. Which she has been doing on and off since 1995. I hauled her into court, but in July 2013 the judge dismissed the charges, because I hadn’t been affected by it – i.e. not sanctioned by my job. Joan/Doris said I was committing computer fraud. lol. But my employer can and did trace every keystroke that I had done. I was exonerated. So, since I hadn’t ‘suffered’ anything – the charges were dismissed. BUT prior to my filing the charges, Joan/Doris went right here on Huffington and BRAGGED about calling my job to get me fired. – it’s under her comments under Joan M Wheeler – you’ll have to search for it. 

Also in 2013 she had her boyfriend threaten me via his blog to expose my ‘dark dirty secret.’ (I have no idea what that is). I told him via MY blog that I do not respond to emotional blackmail and that if he knows something about me to go right ahead and say it. And the Buffalo police and the Erie County District Attorney would be very interested in finding out how and why this man, who never met me, never spoke to me, knows things about me and is threatening me. — lol. apparently, he broke up with Joan/Doris right after that. 

by the way, prior to that blackmail attempt, on his blog he was asking about a fight I had with an Arab lady whose name started with S. — oh my gods! that was in September 1979!!! Joan/Doris is going around telling her boyfriends 35 year old gossip about me!!! lol – lol – lol. 

Joan/Doris had her first book pulled from publication because I sent police/court documents to Trafford Publications that proved that she libled me in her book. 

Well, now that I’ve retired, she can’t call my job anymore to get me fired. I have taken her toy away.

CLICK HERE to see the original post and the comments.


1. gertmcqueen – February 13, 2017

NOTE WELL what two different people say here to Joan/Doris…

1) Please seek counselling, your issues with adoption are not healthy.

2) Help is available for your issues. Clearly you require professional assistance to deal with them.

and what Joan/Doris says…

I do not need help, thank you. I am an activist. You people are sorely uniformed.

And this is why we keep shining the light on J/D…everyone else sees and knows what she does not. She’s right everyone else is wrong.

Joan Wheeler continues to drag me into her useless conversations about adoption problems! August 12, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Today, on facebook, Joan writes, in a discussion about a book (not her own piece of shit libelous mouthings of raving lunacy, but somebody else’s book:

 Joan M Wheeler (to) Hilbrand W.S. Westra – “you are so very right. I noticed this, too, but didn’t say so publicly as the author is a friend of mine. I think she knows exactly the point you make. And yes, we need to stop pointing fingers at adoptees as the source of our own problems. Adoption itself is the problem from which all others stem. HOWEVER, for many adoptees, like me, who are half orphans or full orphans, one or both of our parents actually did die. That problem was fully discussed by Ken Watson (RIP) at an AAC conference circa 1990. I was dissolved to tears, yet, our good friend, René Hoksbergen nudged me forward to talk with Ken that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings, compounded by adoption soon afterward. And yes, compounded by adopters’ ignorance and willful deception.”

 okay, in this discussion that I really don’t have any interest in, – she SLAMS her birth siblings again by saying “…that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings …”

 Excuse me Joan, I most certainly do NOT have any lifelong problems due to the death of my mother. WHERE is your evidence that I have lifelong problems? I”M not the one constantly harassing people, YOU are. I’M not the one on Social Security Disability because of “psychological problems” – YOU are. I’M not the one who bounces from man to man and has an alchohol problem – That’s YOU. I’M not the one who has been in therapy for more 30 years – YOU are. — The three times I requested counseling – 1. grief counseling after miscarrying my son, 2. seeking advice on PTSD in Veteran’s, as my husband has nightmares due to his years in Vietnam, and 3. overload of stress in 2003 after my husband’s open heart surgery, and the deaths of 6 family members in rapid succession, beginning in the end of July 2003 to the middle of October 2003 and my father’s open heart surgery two and a half months after my husband’s surgery. In all three times – I went to only THREE therapy sessions, lasting only an hour each time – (three hours of therapy for Ruth, compared to years and years for Joan) – and each therapist told me that I was a well-adjusted person. SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH ABOUT ME JOAN.

 Earlier today, in response to a facebook post by the comic magazine Cracked about the suicide of Robin Williams, I wrote the following:

 “Cracked.com says: ‘Every time they make a joke around you, they’re doing it because they instinctively and reflexively think that’s what they need to do to make you like them. They’re afraid that the moment the laughter stops, all that’s left is that gross, awkward kid everyone hated on the playground.’

 (my response) – well, I was the gross, awkward kid on the playground that nobody liked and everybody bullied. I have scars from the bullying. I just turned 62 and there are times I remember the names and it still hurts. But I took life on and said “fuck this shit.” I turned my ugly duckling younger self – the one the other girls in school called ugly and became a graceful belly dancer. I became a health care worker because I have compassion.

 I will never commit suicide, because that would be giving in. I will never poison my body with stupid drugs. I will never turn a gun on myself (or others). I will never hang myself. I try new things. I wish I had more money to try more new things. I want to see more of the world. It’s such a beautiful and exciting world – I want to see Paris, Rome, Athens, Rio de Janieros – the Great Wall of China – the tomb of Tutankhamun –

I’m sorry that Robin took the route he did. I loved him as an actor and comedian. I wish he had not done what he did.”

 I also wrote this last night regarding the speculation that Robin Williams depression may have been linked to his heart disease and surgery, and he was feeling vulnerable:

 “John had heart surgery in 2003. He was not, is not depressed. Nor does he take drugs, nor does he drink. We both have an occasional beer or wine.

 Robin Williams said that he felt “vulnerable.” Not sure what he meant by that. Every surgery can be potentially dangerous. Lots of people go thru surgery every day all over the world.

 We can’t be inside another human’s head to figure out what is going on. All I can do is comment from my own experiences. I’ve had several surgeries, and came out not feeling vulnerable. And so has John – and John was scared shitless. Imagine not ever having surgery before – and your very first surgery is heart surgery. Perhaps John has a strong will – after all, he was a Navy Seal in Vietnam for six years. Takes a special kind of man for that job.

 Life is tough. Ya gotta meet it head on. Or get plowed under. I refuse to get plowed under. “

 AND before learning about Robin Williams’ suicide, I had just written the following rebuttal to actor Russell Brand’s “excuse” for drug abuse:

 “I disagree – everybody knows by now how harmful drugs are. You are not born with drugs in your system – YOU made the conscious decision to PUT the drugs into your body. Everybody knows these substances are highly addictive – but, YOU chose to put them into your body. If this “illness” causes you to steal your own mother’s rent money (I know someone on my street who did that) or do the shit my exBFF did to me – and you see these things happening again and again to people in your neighborhood, you read about the theft and violence and greed that taking and selling drugs does not only to the user, but those around them – WHY would you even start taking that shit? I am 62 years old, and outside of smoking some weed, I have NEVER taken drugs, don’t want to take that shit and will never be a drug addict – not even to prescription pain pills, because I take those guys for needed pain relief, then wean myself off that shit.

 My body is my temple – the only bad shit I put into it is coffee, pizza and chocolate – IN MODERATION – and they don’t cause me to steal from people, lie to my loved ones, or treat my loved ones like shit.


The only problems I have right now – are dealing with the fact that Joan REFUSES to stop dragging me into her crap. – Shut the fuck up about me Joan.

never give up

This is what I live by – NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER. Joan on the other hand, dissolves into tears, gets the shakes, is overwhelmed, is stunned, is shocked and runs to the bottle. (her own words in her stupid book and on various places on the internet).

And check out this other recent development from Joan’s lying mouth. 


Joan Wheeler LIES again – about her “employment” credentials!


1. gertmcqueenAugust 12, 2014 [Edit]

Gert here…

Joan Wheeler said…
“…that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings …”

Since when does she get the right to diagnosis ANYONE’s problems! She is NOT qualified to state that her siblings have ANY PROBLEMS. While the loss of OUR mother caused each of us PAIN, it does not equate to having ‘lifelong problems’. Joan knows NOTHING about my life, period. What ever she thinks she knows…is in and comes from her diseased mind!

From the MOMENT that Joan was reunited with the birth family, it was SHE that created ALL THE PROBLEMS. It was SHE who said I was WRONG to ADOPT my own son, that I was an unfit mother, and more. It was SHE who called false child abuse upon me, twice.It was SHE who REFUSED to go to mediation to SOLVE the problems BETWEEN US. It was SHE who asked my grown daughter to COMMIT A CRIME for her! It was SHE who continuously REFUSED to leave me and others alone.

It was SHE who wrote a libelous book BECAUSE everyone HURT HER! And SHE imagined getting rich and famous on the backs of family and friends! Every time SHE speaks SHE insults and drags the siblings in the dirt!

And that is why we siblings have blogs…where the TRUTH comes out.


Lesson for Joan Wheeler – Never try to destroy someone’s life with a lie when yours could be destroyed by the truth. July 7, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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destroy 3

So Joan – WHERE is your precious book? WHERE is your career as a big-time speaker at adoption conferences? – I’ll tell you where – IN THE TOILET!

 Because you sought to destroy my life with your asshole lies – YOU got caught with the shit in your face – you didn’t count on the fact that I would keep the court documents that had the FACTS and the TRUTH behind our history. You sought to change that history. And it blew up in your face.

 And the same thing will happen with your “new revised” book. Because, you asshole – the FACTS and the TRUTH can NOT be revised.

liars think they truth

Never fear – when you read something from Ruth and Gert – you are reading the FACTS and the TRUTH – cos we back up what we say with PROOF. I have plastered this blog with scans of letters, court documents, photographs, even scans of weather reports from old newspapers to refute the LIES that Joan Wheeler puts out about MY life and GERT’S life.

What proof does Joan Wheeler put out? – NOTHING! Not once have I seen ONE lousy picture, scan of a letter, ANYTHING that would prove that ANYTHING that she says is a FACT or a TRUTH.

GERT here…

UPDATE OCTOBER 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!


this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.



check them out

I am so bad that I can do things in my sleep, then I must read Joan Wheeler’s tweets to find out what I’ve done. lol June 27, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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love rumors – one day in January 2013, while I was sound asleep – apparently I had done so much stuff in my sleep, I had to go to Joan Wheeler’s twitter page to find out what I did. ~~~ 

I have copied and pasted here, a past blogpost because I found this great meme on facebook. This all came about in January 2013, when I went to bed, and got up several hours to find out on twitter, that while I was asleep, I had been very busy doing shit to Joan. (would someone please lobotomize her?) – anyway, I just had to revisit this blog post, because – several of “that family unit that avoids me and wants nothing to do with me” (as per asshole Joan Wheeler) are now facebook freinds with me, and several months ago, one of them even REFUTED what Joan said. My cousin Dennis said, “no ever said they didn’t want you around.” But Joan likes to lie about everybody and everything.

anyways, here is an account of Joan going nutty on public internet:

Joan Wheeler goes nutty on Twitter and accuses Ruth once again of doing something she didn’t do. January 31, 2013

Joan goes nutty on Twitter and accuses Ruth once again of doing something she didn’t do. by Gert and Ruth

Gert: Too much happening at present to make proper blog post. I would like to inform those that would like to follow the unfolding circumstances and that have access to tweeter to go to the following tweeter addresses and look at the ‘tweets’and you can make what you want of them. Personally, Joan Wheeler is seriously off the deep edge! Look from Jan 24th to present…more developing and will report when able.

addresses On twitter



@forbiddenfamily (this is Joan Wheeler)

also topics are #






Ruth here –January 31, 2013, 1:00am at home, not work. –Never mind all that –here are the actual tweets. But first an explanation.

On Saturday, January 26, my cousin’s husband was killed in a car accident. As I had to work Saturday night, 7pm, I did not see the news. The next day Sunday, I slept all day and I was off that night, but still did not see the news nor hear of the death. I slept Monday, worked Monday night, 7pm. still ignorant of the death. At 2am Tuesday, January 29, I was slightly injured at work. The ER gave me med and sent me home. I got home around 4am and went straight to bed. I got up between 10:30am 11:00am. Got a cup of coffee, turned on computer and was reading Twitter. When some of Joan’s tweets got on my newsfeed. and I read that I was using this death to spread rumors about her. I’m like, WHAT THE HELL DID I DO? AND WHO THE HELL DIED? AND HOW AM I SPREADING RUMORS WHEN I JUST WOKE UP? –So I called my cousin Nancy and asked “did someone in the family die?”and she told me. I then called Becky, the aunt of the widow, and spoke briefly to her.

Now –this side of the family is MY godmother –her son Dennis, used to be close to Joan. Their children used to be close to each other. This was like 20 years ago. But then Joan started dictating to Dennis how to raise his kids and he said shut the hell up. It was Dennisdaughter Melissa, who lost her husband the other day. Mielissa has a 4 year old little girl.

Now growing up, my family didn’t have a car. This family lived way out in the suburbs where we couldn’t get to them. But we saw them occasionally. The last time Gert and Dennis saw each other was when they were kids, some 50 –60 years ago. And Gert moved out of Buffalo in 1982. For myself, in the 90′s into the early 2000′s most times I didn’t have a car, so I didn’t see the family that much.

In December 2012, I got a call from Nancy and she said, there was a family get-together at The Country Buffet sponsored by that side of the family and they wanted me to come but didn’t have my new phone number. Nancy said she had gotten like 3 or 4 calls from them to call me but didn’t have a chance to call me because she recently had carpal tunnel surgery.

So I go to the brunch and two cousins asked if Joan was coming and I said no, and they expressed relief. Another cousin expressed anger at Joan, another cousin said he wanted to punch Joan’s lights out for what she wrote in the book.

Now pay attention to these particular tweets: numbers, 3, 6, 8 and 9.

#3 –she’s describing MY godmother, Melissa’s grandmother that “she doesn’t know her grandaughter’s husband died and it will kill her.”um, is Joan part of that immediate family? Is it HER business to saying stuff like that?

#9. “aunt is 86 years old, has dementia, sees my (dead) mother.”How the hell does Joan know what’s going on in another person’s mind?

#8. and #9 –these are the tweets that Joan is using this family tragedy as a springboard to further slam me and Gert. She says the father of the widow (Dennis) avoids us. WRONG –he simply hasn’t seen Gert since he was a kid! And we just saw each other 5 weeks ago!

now here, read these things and decide for yourself if Joan is sane or not:

1. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

That little girl is now a half orphan. Too many, too many.

10:12 AM –29 Jan 13 ·

2. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Can’t be on Facebook now. Too many deaths since Sept. Very sad. In shock. Another 2nd cousin, adopted fam, died, father of 2 yr old daughtr

3. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Trauma. Sadness. Generational. Must see Aunt soon to tell her I love her. She does’nt know, would kill her: granddaughter lost husband.

4. 19mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Yes. Another new half orphan. This one will not be given up for adoption. I don’t blame my Dad for giving me up. His wife died.

5. 22mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Please pray for Mom who lost her husband Sat morn. She’ll need family around her, her sisters, brothers, now keep her safe. Await memorial.

6. 26mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Will they butt into this family tradegy? Yes, we are all family. They are not wanted in this family group. My Twitter friends, please pray.

7. 27mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

My sisters are on Twitter. Blocked them. They will get these Tweets to spread rumors I am causing trouble. Father of new widow avoids them.

8. 29mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Wonder if anyone will suggest to my 2nd cousin that her “4 yr old daughter needs 2 parents”so give her up for adoption?

9. 30mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Ripples…My Aunt, 86, pregnant at same time my Mom was, sees my Mom when she sees me. Dementia now. Doesn’t know about granddaughter’s loss

10.33mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Ripple effect. My mother died when I was 3 months old. Grievinf father told to give me up for adoption because I “needed 2 parents”. WTF

11. 34mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Too much trauma. Ripple effect. My daughter, age 26, grieves along side of her cousin. They shared a childhood. Death, loss, nightmares.

12. 36mJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Another death. Young father killed in car crash, leaving behind wife, age 26, and 4 year old daughter. The wife is my 2ndcousin, by blood.

13. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

For what purpose is it to remake a child’s birth certificate in adoption? You have new custody..is that enough? Guardianship keeps inline

14. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

there is no god. To take away a child’s father id creul. You took away y mother + gave me new one. Fuk’ed me over. Another one now.

15. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Death…you come upon us when we think we know time. You took my mother when I was a babe. Yu took my cousin’s hubby + left a 4 yr old: why

16. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

Death be not proud! Do not take the widows and the children and make them puppets for the adoption mills! Not one more lost to adoption

17. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

As I watch the new half orphans march passed me, I see their tiny faces and think: you have people who will not stand for you to be adopted

18. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

I cannot control my grief. too many deaths. too much loss, too much, too much. There is no reaason.

19. 28 JanJoan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

I grieve for my 2nd cousin’s husband, dead in car accident. Gone too soon. Wife and child left behind. Momma, like you, they died too soon.

comments to this blog post:

1. RuthJanuary 31, 2013

oh –don’t forget how Joan says that side of the family doesn’t me around –but they called Nancy 3 or 4 times to make sure I came to the family brunch on Dec. 23, 2012.

 me and Judy

me (left) and cousin Judy (right) at the family brunch, Dec. 23, 2012. photo taken by Rebecca Herr Snyder (Becky), she who Joan says doesn’t want me around. (then why is she taking my picture?) AND many of my relatives asked about Gert and Kathy, how they are, what are they doing, etc.

2. gertmcqueen –January 31, 2013 [Edit]
These tweets of Joan
’s plus those she wrote BEFORE are nothing but the ravings of a mad person! This is WHAT is in that now dead book! Rants of a diseased mind, who throws temper fits over gun-violence and a CNN reporter or whatever she is mad about, not having a original birthcertificate and the birth siblings. Joan is a mental case, she is ON NY state disability cause she can’t work at anything. She never worked as a social worker, and she can not help any one because of her VIEW of life.

Her friends are not helping her by encouraging her work in the realm of adoption reform, but then again, those friends of Joan’s are nothing but bullies because they go after people who ADOPT, like that’s a crime! Joan is ABUSING HERSELF and her friends stand by and DO NOTHING to help her! It sometimes amazes me how downright STUPID these people are…everyone knows when to pull the soldier off the battlefield, but these stupid adoption reform people actually KEEP Joan and her mental ravings go PUBLIC, like that is HELPING.

3. Ruth

I said if before –in regards to when I point out a LIE that Joan has said in the book or the internet and I back up what I say with an actual city court document (as opposed to Joan who has offered absolutely NO proof of ANYthing she has said about me: those who continue to say Joan Wheeler is the best thing since sliced bread and her birth sisters are sick in the head THEY are as cracked in the head as Joan is. To be in law enforcement, and read that Joan Wheelerr VIOLATED THE LAW by calling someonejob to lob false accusations of computer fraud, read that Joan Wheeler PUBLICLY ADMIT on the internet that it was indeed she who contacted my employer, and don’t recognize that deed as AGGRAVED HARASSMENT 2 –PHONE/TELEGRAPH/WRITTEN COMMUNICATION TO ALARM –well, I think that person is a piss-poor law enforcement agent.

AND that law enforcement agent should know that ALL evidence should be looked at –I wonder if she EVER took the time to EXAMINE the court documents that I have posted over and over on this blog –then compare it to what Joan has said.

Joan says in a letter she wrote to Albany NY Child Protective Services that I was placed on six month probation in 1993. ON the internet and the book she’s saying that I was placed on a one year order of protection. When in reality it was a six month order of protection ACD –

If those are the kinds of law enforcement agents they have in California –STUPID –then I will keep my little behind right here in New York State. –because that particular person IS MOST DEFINITELY AS CRACKED IN THE HEAD AS JOAN WHEELER!

No, Joan Wheeler, you can’t have anything in life that you want. You can’t have my life. May 16, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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 no you can't

I disagree – there are things in life you can NOT have. A dead parent brought back. A reversal of one’s adoption. Someone’s else’s property. Someone else’s life.

For example, my adopted out sister Joan Wheeler, despite being 58 years old, is STILL not accepting that after her mother died, she was given up for adoption and her birth sisters were not. She still can’t accept that five years after being reunited with her, we laid down boundaries, which she disrespected. She lied to us, stole goods and money from us, manipulated us, caused many problems. After she was told to leave us, she refused – and has been at us ever since – much harassments, telling lies about us in a book, in person, and on the internet. Calling my job with false accusations, trying to get me fired, (Nov. 2012) and bragging about it on the internet (Jan. 3013).

Joan refuses to fix her life, because she is a loser. Instead, she wants my life. She has in the past tried to destroy my life, my marriage, my career. WHY? Because she’s a bitch.


You also can’t change the fact that I hate you – and no, it isn’t because Mom died – I HATE YOU BECAUSE OF THE SHIT HARASSMENTS YOU HAVE DONE TO ME. Just because another namby-pamby judge pooh-poohed your STALKING me by calling my job trying to get me fired a year and a half ago, doesn’t erase the fact that that is what you did – WHY? Why do you so want me to get fired? You tried in the past to get me fired. WHY? Because you are jealous of me – I was not adopted and you were. Well too fucking bad sweetheart. That’s just too damn fucking bad. Go fuck off. 



a post that never made it to the blog: Little Things from a Little Mind – Joan Wheeler continues bashing her birth sisters on the internet on October 17, 2010 March 17, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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A goodie from the past – I was cleaning up some old files on my portable external hard drive and came across this. I wrote it, intending it to be a blog post, but somehow, it fell by the wayside. Well, better late than never.

Back on October 17, 2010, when Joan was a member of the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum, she wrote the following response to another whiny adoptee.

“Yeah, same thing happened to me. I felt like a circus act with people saying “you sound like this one” and “you look like that one” and “you walk like this one”. I was on display for their amusment and amazment, but no one asked me about my life,, what I lived, what I felt. One or two aunts and a few cousins but not even the siblings who found me could care less about the life I had led while separated from them. My father asked a few basic questions about my likes and dislikes, then it became a thing of concentrating on the here and now, which was good to a certain point. We did get to know each other a bit,, but in recent years he’d rather talk about his grandchildren from his step kids than to be involved in my kids’ lives. I do know what you’re going through.” 

This was my initial note on her comment:

well, this is just like her – and what does she mean her siblings could care less about the life she led – another contradiction- because does she not say that she shares 1. a love of Egypt with Gert – 2. a love of England with Kathy – 3. a love of Star Trek with Ruth. more fodder for another post!

 I typed this up intending to put it on the blog, but apparently I never did. But here it is:

 Little Things from a Little Mind – Joan Wheeler continues bashing her birth sisters on the internet on October 17, 2010.

Little minds just CANNOT stop the bashing, even after telling her puppet troll that she wouldn’t bash her sisters anymore. What did you expect from a chronic liar like Joan?

On October 17, 2010, on the internet, Joan says the following concerning her reunion with her birth family in 1974: ” I felt like a circus act with people saying “you sound like this one” and “you look like that one” and “you walk like this one”. I was on display for their amusment and amazment, but no one asked me about my life,, what I lived, what I felt. One or two aunts and a few cousins but not even the siblings who found me could care less about the life I had led while separated from them.”

oh, but in her book, she goes into great detail of how much she had in common with The Three Sippel Sisters, including a love of Ancient Egypt with Gert, a love of England and folk songs with Kathy, a love of Star Trek and The Beatles with Ruth. How in the world did we find out that she loved these things IF WE DID NOT SHOW AN INTEREST IN HER LIFE BETWEEN 1956 AND 1974? Joan also goes into great detail of 1974-1975, how she and I went to disco bars, a television taping of Dialing for Dollars to see actor Keir Dullea, to go see Beatles, and Pink Floyd movies, etc. etc.

Seems to me I remember sitting on her bed in her adoptive parents house and listening to her gush about Herman Hermits, her meeting of Leonard Nimoy in 1971 or 1972, her prom, her showing me her prom dress, looking at pictures of her while she was growing up, seeing a beautiful Native American shawl that she weaved, learning of her dancing in the Native American dance group and going to the Museum of Science to see her dance with her troupe .(by the way, in 1974 or 1975,  I went with my father, Gert, and Gert’s kids to see her dance AND in 1985, went to a Native American dance circle with her – so much for her birth family not being interested in her hobbies and life.

 How the hell did I know she went through Catholic grammar school and Catholic high school – guess I consulted a Ouija Board to learn all this information (and more) about her life prior to our reunion in 1974.

I can’t comment on any conversations that Joan had with Gert and Kathy, as I wasn’t there. And I can’t really remember much else about her life prior to 1974, and have forgotten some things about her life after 1974 – because if it didn’t involve me – I put it out of my mind – because I did, I really did try to forget I ever knew such a nasty person. If it wasn’t for her stupid book containing so many dam lies about me and my family, I would have been happy to never mention her disgusting name ever again. But that all came about because of Joan’s own behavior towards me.

so once again, we see that Joan Wheeler has simply GOT to paint her birth sisters in a bad light. Gee Joan, can you NEVER say anything nice about us? Nope, Little Minds know how to do only ONE thing: LIE about everything and everybody.

– Here it is, two and a half years later, and Joan is still making up falsehoods about her birth sisters.

1. Ruth

well, I guess I had a senior moment – because I just used the search function of my blog and typed in “little things from little minds” and I see that I HAD posted this – on November 3, 2010. oh well. I never said I was perfect.

Lesson for Joan Wheeler – lying about people won’t make you happy. February 7, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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It’s impossible to build one’s own happiness on the unhappiness of others.

So true. So what did you think to accomplish when you published that filthy book full of lies Joan? Yes, you accomplished SOMETHING  – you hurt me again and again. Every time I turned a page and read another filthy lie about me – I actually was walking in circles in my kitchen crying when I read your twisting of facts, your put-downs of me being a prospective mother, your disgusting stabbing me in the back twenty years after I got over the initial anger of your dirty deeds to me –

BUT what else did it get you? Your biggest dream (actually an unrealistic fantasy) was that your book was going to be a million dollar best seller and either a TV movie or a Hollywood blockbuster book was going to made of your book – and you would be set for life.

And because you blatantly lied about events in MY life – and I had documented proof of those lies (actual police and court documents, your own harassing letters to me and the envelopes they came in) – YOUR LIES WERE EXPOSED.

Proof of your lies – libel – was sent to the publisher and your book was pulled.

You said once on an internet forum, about two years, ago, that you “wasted 30 years of my life writing a book.” That’s right honey, you did. But you got part of that wrong – you didn’t waste 30 years of your life writing a book – you wasted 30 years of your life TRYING TO KILL OTHER PEOPLE’S HAPPINESS! 

What did you think to accomplish when you were harassing me? Did you honestly think my relationship with John would go down the tubes when you sent that lying letter to me saying he got the next door neighbor pregnant? What really happened is that when I showed him the letter – he was disgusted with you. You always claimed you honored him as friend. HA! Well that’s one friend who hates you now.

What did you think to accomplish when you repeatedly called my job in 1994-95 with false accusations of me? And did it again in November 2012? Did you really think I would get fired? – HA! Not only was I NOT fired (because I am innocent of your bullshit lies), but my job now knows you as a freak – a crackpot who has nothing better to do with her time than lie about innocent people.

One other thing that was accomplished Joan – when the truth of your lies were exposed by this blog and Gert’s blog – YOUR REPUTATION IN THE ADOPTION REFORM ACTIVIST COMMUNITY IS NOW SEVERELY COMPROMISED.

And you have only yourself to blame. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you pick up the phone and call my job. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you sent me that lying letter about John. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you type out all those lies in your book.



1. gertmcqueenFebruary 7, 2014

Gert here…yep…Joan’s lies and dirty deeds have become apparent to even those in the adoption reform movement! TRUTH always out wins lies! Joan should have learned how to ‘bury the bodies’ when she decided to KILL HER KIN FOLK! Oh sure, she led a great charge against her kin, when we first learned of her, 30 years in the making, masterpiece! Where’s all those angry adoptees today? Not by Joan’s side. There been a couple of new books on the adoption topics these days and none of them INCLUDE Joan Wheeler! Even the most vocal of the activists do not want to share the printed venue with Joan! She’s now trying to break into a new field…online therapy! Yep! good luck on that!

2. gertmcqueenFebruary 7, 2014

Gert here again… I was just reading some blog posts and found a comment that Joan left about Joe Soll! Okay Joe just FOUND his mother! Great news, that’s nice for him, but Joan, takes any opportunity for someone else’s spot light to pour out her bullshit that means nothing! In that lying book Joan wrote she USED Joe Soll. I had email exchange with the man and he DENIED what she wrote in the book, we have blogged about this…YET Joan acts as if she is CLEAN… here’s the comment she left…with ALL HER usual misspellings, she can’t even honor her friends with checking her spelling! Her sweetness makes me want to puke! Anyone who can do shit, like she did to her own KIN, and then speak false sweetness and false ‘peace’ to strangers, only proves to the world what a fool she is.

@forbiddenfamily · 2 weeks ago Back then, in the late 80s, Jow began organizing the Marches on Washington. I was there fro three of them. Saddens me that he could have met his mother at the time. So sorry for that loss. But very happy indeed for the wonderful news of NOW! releived for the man who helped so many of us. Knowing you, dear friend, has meant so much for me. May you now know some inner peace.

and here is the link http://www.adopteerestoration.com/2014/01/breakthrough-for-one-of-our-own-in.html#more

and have you ever noticed that Joan always talks about the 70s, 80s, 90s she is a HAS BEEN! She has DONE NOTHING IN RECENT HISTORY or currently, cause she’s a liar!

3. RuthFebruary 8, 2014


In this post – we show Mr. Joe Soll’s email to Gert, in which he says “I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/”

AdoptionHealing.com – AdoptionCrossroads.org – EvilExchange.com” To: Gert Mcqueen Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM Subject: Re: fact finding request, please I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.

here is Joe’s entire email, in which he had copied and pasted Gert’s question and provided an answer:

From: “Joe Soll, LCSW – AdoptionHealing.com – AdoptionCrossroads.org – EvilExchange.com” To: Gert Mcqueen

Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM Subject: Re: fact finding request, please

I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.

(Gert asks):

Also, in her book, Joan relays a phone conversation with you, pg 311, regarding these alleged letters in which she writes that you did indeed receive them and that you had spoken with Joan about them

(Joe answers): This is patently false.

(Gert offers):

If you do not have access to her book, but wish to see the pages I am referring, I would gladly snail you copies if you would provide me an address. My sisters and I would greatly apprecitate it if you could shed light on this for us and yourself.

(Joe answers): I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/

Feel free to contact me further

Be well, 조살 :-)

4. RuthFebruary 8, 2014


to reiterate what Mr. Joe Soll said about her book:

“I do not need to see the book,”

that means, that when he sent that email, May 2010, he had not seen the book yet, nor would he ever, because he was made aware that Joan LIED about him in the book. And he will NEVER see it, because it is dead – having been pulled from publication because of the LIES Joan put in it.

Joan Wheeler goes from manic state to depressive state awful fast over her latest FAILED romance. December 31, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Joan Wheeler goes from manic state to depressive state awful fast over her latest FAILED romance. – all information and quotes are from what Joan Wheeler herself has put out on public internet for all to see. remember – if you don’t want people to read it – don’t put it on the internet.


In a mess that SHE herself created, Joan first rants and raves about a guy she met at a bar back in June 2013. Within two weeks, marriage plans are made. What stupid idiot meets a guy and within two weeks makes plans to marry this total stranger? Joan Wheeler, that’s who. So she goes to New Mexico with the guy in August and the truth comes out. He’s an alcoholic (so is Joan, but she won’t say so in conjuction with this stuff – but did admit to it in her book), he got caught driving drunk and was thrown in jail for 30 days, (my, my, my), his family decided to do some background checking on Joan (wise move considering we’ve got two people who within 2 weeks of meeting want to get married – doesn’t matter if he’s 63 and she’s 57 – they are both thinking like 13 year olds), the family apparently googled her, came to this blog and saw the truth about her – then so did he. Apparently there were words between everybody, and Joan came home, and cried all through September.

Last week, her website got a hit from New Mexico. Never mind that there are tons of people living in New Mexico and any one of them could have gone to her website, and never mind that Gert has personal friends living in New Mexico and it could have been them – Joan sees the hit, ASS-umes that it’s the boyfriend and/or his family and goes off on a bitch fest – a real rockin’ psychopathic rant! Insults the guy – mocking him for his PTSD (and using the tired old stereotype of the crazy Vietnam Veteran – for shame, Joan) AND DRAGS ME AND GERT IN ON IT. (but she’s always bitching that we won’t stay out of her life – and when we are not – she drags us into it!). I say ASS-ume because when you assume something without real evidence, all you do is make an ASS out of yourself – which is what Joan does all the time. She sees or reads something, and right away ASS-umes things about people.

Here are blog posts that Gert and I did about this mess that Joan HERSELF created:

Another one bites the dust! Joan Wheeler, ‘fiancé’ break-up! Gosh, we told you it would happen! by gertmcqueen on December 27, 2013

Joan Wheeler drags me into her f’ed up love life – then bitches about me being in her life. uh, what? December 26, 2013

would somebody please lobotomize Joan Wheeler? December 27, 2013

 Joan Wheeler has the nerve to say she had done no harm. December 27, 2013

Joan Wheeler can now see 2400 miles and “know” what people are watching on their TVs. OMG! December 28, 2013

SOOOO after all that ranting and our blogging, Joan read Gert’s blog and sees Gert’s statement: “DOES Joan have any positive things going into her life? She never tells us anything that is positive in what she does. Nothing about good eating, sleeping, exercise, meditations, readings, etc…she boring! Once in a while is posts some feel good quote, but she doesn’t live it!”

And knowing that Gert takes Zumba classes (my, are we STALKING Gert now, Joan?) Joan all of a sudden says that she’s “getting healthy, being more positive, is thankful for her female friends and taking Zumba classes).

In the evening of December 30, 2013, she’s on the downside of manic depression – she’s on a downer, and lamenting the loss of her latest romance. I didn’t see the garbage until I woke up about 11:30am December 31, 2013. The time frame that Joan wrote her latest stuff – I was busy with my life – doing housework, then watching the special features on the DVD of John Carpenter’s The Fog. (btw, Joan put me down in her book because I collect movies. So? Who the hell is she to comment on how I spend my $$ or my life? She does so, because her life is so miserable, she looks at me and sees my full life, and she can’t have it, so must debase it).

And I can comment on Joan’s life and this mess because SHE DRAGGED ME INTO IT. SHE DELIBRATELY WROTE A TWEET ABOUT THIS FUCKED UP SITUATION THAT CONTAINED A REFERENCE TO HER BIRTH SISTERS (me and Gert). Therefore, we EARNED the right to write about it.

So I get up and meander over to twitter to see what’s up with a couple of tweets I had exchanged with Luke Evans (Bard the Bowman) – o gods! not only is Ruth collecting movies, she’s communicating with people who are acting in them! Quick now! Get the noose and string Ruth up!

So I see what Joan writes and I wanted to puke. I then go over to facebook and see that Gert also had seen it and this is what we say about the pukey shit:

facebook exchanges: from Gert to Ruth Herr Sippel Pace the idiot is crying in her beer…around midnight she says..

Deep pain in knowing it is over. My love. New Year will be better for us both.  I release you, my love. Good bye my Darling. May you find your true love. She lies within. I move on

after all that ranting and raving and saying she’s DONE and getting on with her life and he was a loser…this is so typical of Joan Wheeler!

from Gert Mcqueen so I added a comment on the blog post and incorporated Ruth’s comment and mine into the body of that post and retweeted it…I can’t believe it, YES I can cause this is HOW joan operates, she doesn’t get her way, she throws fits, gets kicked in the face, bitches and screams cause no one loves her, she rants and raves that they are bad and mean to her, then she gets sympathy from others and says oh I’m ok and then in the dark of the night she crys for what she lost asshole

from Ruth Herr Sippel Pace omy god I want to puke with the saccharine fakeness of it all.

and notice now how she’s going out of her way to list different world cultural dances that she’s learning in Zumba class. She’s reacing out to her birthsisters again, albeit in a round-about way. As you noted yesterday, how she’s obviously reading the blogs – after bitching and raving, her tweets turn 180 degrees on how she’s getting healthy and going to Zumba – a clear IMITATION of you. Now, the “world culture” dances – a clear imitation of ME. Because of my past experiences of being a Middle East (belly dancer). She never cared about dance before – only her Native American dances she did as a teenager and in early 20s. And don’t forget – she put me down in her book FOR being interested in the Arab culture. Now SHE is “embracing” other cultures. What a fucking hypocrite!

she goes from calling him a “stalking obsessed creep” to ” My love. New Year will be better for us both.  I release you, my love. Good bye my Darling. May you find your true love. She lies within. I move on” – she said she “moved on” the other day – if that was so – she shouldn’t be going back to write this stupid shit.

Gert Mcqueen yep…I WAS DOING zumba 3 years ago! I had to stop due to medicals reasons and turned to biking instead…but I NEVER mentioned that ONLY my yoga, bike, gym…which she NEVER picked up until just now BECAUSE I made a point of saying she’s boring, unhealthy and never speaks about what good in her life. And if she loved native dance WHY hasn’t she been doing it all along? If you love something, you DO IT. she only talked about it because of the SUGAR DADDY like I said, she was crying in her beer…that’s what she does…she can’t get her way, throws a fit, the other person tells her get lost, she gets insulted, finds things to bitch about and then says she’s done with them, and then when the night is dark and she’s alone she laments her LOSS that she created.

end of facebook exchange.

I am not only wanting to puke, but I see the hypocrisy of it all – having been dragged over the coals in her book for MY interest in other ethnic music and dance – to see this bitch now saying it’s the best thing in HER life! As I said above – she looks at her miserable life, finds it lacking, then looks at MY life, debases it – YET COPIES ME! And Gert!

Now I want to examine this statement made by Gert: “then she gets sympathy from others and says oh I’m ok and then in the dark of the night she crys for what she lost asshole” – when she was ranting and bitching about the boyfriend on Twitter, she made statements that she was “afraid of him.” “leave me alone.” called him a “stalking creep” “obsessive” – and a twitter friend of hers up in Toronto says, “been reading your feed, are you okay?” this lady sees what Joan writes and becomes genuinely concerned for Joan’s safety! And what does Joan say? “oh, I’m all right. He’s 2500 miles away.”

WHAT THE FUCK?  If she’s “all right” and he’s “2500 miles away” WHY IS SHE WRITING THAT SHE IS AFRAID OF HIM? This is what she does – she EXAGERATES things and puts her whiny little “woe is me, poor, poor pitiful me” routine and manipulates people into feeling sorry for her.  So LOOK at what she said about the guy – she’s afraid of him, he’s a stalking, obsessive, alcoholic drunk driver, and he’s coming to get her. – and chances are – he’s probably a sweet guy with a drinking problem. But according to Joan – he’s a monster. AND THIS IS WHY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT ME AND GERT ARE BITCHES – BECAUSE THEY READ JOAN’S SHIT AND BECAUSE SHE’S A MASTER MANIPULATER AND LIAR – AND SHE CAN TURN THE TEARS ON AND OFF – THEY CAN’T BELIEVE THAT HER CRYING IS ONLY AN ACT! – People – she’s a socio-path and knows how to turn the waterworks on. And before anybody recommends that she call the police – please – The Town of Tonawanda (where she lives) already are aware of her and her antics.

Before anybody condemns me for “putting down the mentally ill” and lectures me that I “should have compassion,” – been there, done that. Unless you have been the harassed victim of a mentally ill person – you will not understand. see the home page of this blog. and the page What is Demanded of Joan Wheeler.

Don’t judge me for my anger of Joan Wheeler – until you know all the facts and the hell she has put me through and is STILL doing it – by harassing me by calling my employer a year ago with false accusations designed to get me fired – and just the other day by daring to drag me into her fucked up love life.

And again, we see a mess that Joan herself created. Gert and I had nothing to do with this latest boyfriend, yet Joan drags us into it. So we gave it right back to her. We didn’t start it, but we damn sure finished it. We didn’t ask to be in it, but once we were in it – we went all out. And the mess is all on Joan – I don’t want to hear a word from her that we “interfered” with this shit – IT WAS JOAN HERSELF WHO BROUGHT US INTO IT!

1. gertmcqueen

Gert here…Perfect assessment of the conditions that Joan does to herself and everyone. There’s nothing more for me to say, but…this is the real Joan Wheeler and if you don’t believe us…get in a REAL PERSONAL relationship with her, NOT on the internet, BUT IN REAL TIME AND PLACE, interact with her in the FLESH and within 2 months you will KNOW.

UPDATE January 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version.



 end of update info


Joan Wheeler has the nerve to say she had done no harm. December 27, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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from her facebook page (thank you G.F. for emailing this to me):

Joan M Wheeler And, no tears. I mean, I cried buckets in September when he landed in jail and I flew back home alone. I beleived he could recover. He couldn’t. What his family did to me was even worse. Spying on me on LinkedIn, blogs, beleiving crap that’s out there that certain haters write ( an you know who they are). I must be believed. Oh, and I’m done trying to cope with men who won’t deal with their issues and who then project their crap onto me. Doesn’t work. I know myself pretty well. Not perfect, but I know I did no one harm. So I am now planning on being in San Fransico in April, shal I meet you there?
December 21 at 1:25pm ·
Really Joan? Like you anonymously sent a letter to my employer in November 2012 falsely accusing me of computer fraud. Then you admitted to it on Huffington Post. You mean “no harm?” BULLSHIT! You did that to make trouble for me on my job. But yeah, bitch, it didn’t work – because in your STUPIDITY and your haste to HARM ME by making trouble for me – you forgot that my employer can track every key stroke I do.
yeah, bitch, tell another dam lie.

The damage done by Joan Wheeler’s lies and why we work to correct that damage November 14, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In my last post, written early this morning “Joan Wheeler keeps spreading the same tired lies about my father again.” I copy and pasted a comment that Joan wrote on this blog: http://danielibnzayd.wordpress.com/2013/11/07/does-anything-anyone-say-about-adoption-hurt-you-anymore/#comment-427.

Joan’s comment contained the same stupid lies concerning my father’s decision to relinquish her to adoption and in my post, I refute those lies. Also Gert and I deduced (correctly) that the owner of the blog, one Daniel ibn Zayd, will NOT post our comments refuting the lies that Joan keeps saying about OUR FATHER! Howver, another person named Deb had her simple comment approved for acceptance: “Beautifully stated Joan.”   Deb thinks she is giving Joan a compliment. Deb believes that Joan is telling the truth about MY father. Deb doesn’t realize that Joan is a lying bitch.

Deb thinks my father is shit. Deb thinks our parish priest, Fr. E. was shit. – Joan doesn’t name him, but at the time, that is who our pastor was. And Fr. E. was one of the kindest, gentlest men around. He baptized me, gave me my First Communion. I remember him very well. He became part of our family – he came to our house and adminstered the Last Rights to my grandmother in 1965.

So two good men have their reputations sullied – thanks to Joan and Deb thinks it is wonderful. Now you know why Gert and I have our blogs and refute EVERY lie that Joan tells.  ps – both these men are dead, and cannot defend themselves. So Gert and I do it for them – for their honor. We will not sit back and let Joan commit character assassination of two dead men. Joan has no shame.

1. gertmcqueen

Joan doesn’t care about damage to others…she is the only person that matters, period! She is nothing but trash and only can speak trash. Those that believe her do so at their own risk of being her next target…if you ever get on the wrong side of her…

lies, lies, and more lies – by Joan Wheeler – refuted as always by Ruth Sippel Pace November 14, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In Gert’s latest blog post “Joan Wheeler’s screaming, that her birthsiblings are attacking her, is nothing new!” dated November 13, 2013, Gert details much bullying done by Joan towards us, her birthsisters. Her bullying rant against me contains lies (so what else is new?)I’m not going to go over all Joan’s bullshit, just a few points that I pointed out in 4 comments that I placed on Gert’s post:

Ruth‘s comments:

lie #1: “The last time you were told this in person was at our father’s 80th birthday. I out up with your antagonistic attitudes for the party for the father we share, but I warned you then”

no, we never spoke to each other at the party. When she was leaving, she turned to me as she was going out the door and said “Ruth, we need to talk.” I was sitting on the couch with my stepmother. We both looked at each and rolled our eyes. We said nothing to Joan. I didn’t even look back at her. Let’s see – who was at the party. – my father, who is now deceased. My stepmother. My two stepsisters, their husbands, their kids (5 in all) a few of the kids friends – I think maybe 4. Count them up: 5 adults that are still alive, and about 9 kids – ranging in ages 10 – 17. They are witnesses that Joan did NOT warn me about anything. They are witnesses that Joan and I did NOT speak. 

  • lie #2: “You violated an Order of Protection that I had out on you when you showed up at my house in 1993″

    nope – she moved out of the house on Saturday, July 31, 1993. We didn’t even get to court until August 9, 1993. And it was then the judge handed down the order of protection (over annoyance phone calls that I placed because I was pissed at Joan’s STEALING HUNDREDS OF $$$ FROM ME). Joan says in her book that the date I came to her house was August 1, 1993. I have posted on my blog a scan of the actual order of protection and the date it went into effect was August 9, 1993 and it expired February 9, 1994. It was for six months, yet Joan reports it as being for one year.

    lie #3: “You charged her (her mother) with child abuse of her grandchildren!”
    wrong – Joan herself placed the child abuse call posing as me. The call was that I was turning in my own fiance for having sex with Joan and her mother liked to watch. or something like that. Joan then wrote to the Department of Social Services in Albany NY and told them on August 9, 1993 that I was sentanced to six months probation. – wrong – it was the afore-mentioned order of protection that I was sentance to NOT probation. at least she got the date correct in her stupid lying letter
    lie #4:
  • I nver had a sexual or emotional affair with your boyfriend/husband! How dare you accuse me of such trash!”

    Joan likes to spread that around that I accused her of having an affair with John. Nope, I never said that. However, Joan wrote a letter to John in March 1995, sending it to his mother’s house and asked him if he was leaving me. (copy of this letter and envelope, in Joan’s handwriting is posted on my blog) — Also in 1999, she sent me a letter stating that John got the next door neighbor pregnant. and the house was vacant! Trash? oh, yes, there is a LOT of trash coming out of Joan’s mouth!

Joan Wheeler keeps spreading the same tired lies about my father again. November 14, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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on this  blog http://danielibnzayd.wordpress.com/2013/11/07/does-anything-anyone-say-about-adoption-hurt-you-anymore/#comment-427 Joan Wheeler (@forbiddenfamily) says:     November 13, 2013 at 10:18 pm   says:

I think that when people, the general public, adoptive parents in particular, call an adoptee’s other mother a “birthmother” this negates what she truly is: that adoptee’s mother. Having said that, I want to share that yes, I am still hurt by what others say about adoption. Beyond the hurt are the truths that are ignored. People continually use the words they hear in conversation, they inflict those words onto me. I correct them. No, I say, I do not have a “birthmother” or a “first mother”. My MOTHER died when I was an infant, I tell them. My MOTHER was replaced by another woman. And my FATHER was replaced by another man. These two people became my adoptive parents, and as such, they are the ones who deserve the adjective in front of the words “mother”, “father” and “parents”. These two people are my social parents. They are my legal parents, but the two people who sired and gave birth to me are my parents. Period. When I approach the topic in this way, in one-on-one conversation, with boots on the ground, I can tell you that people receiving my words are truly shocked into reality: this woman’s MOTHER died and that’s why she was adopted. The expressions on their faces tells me that they understand. They then say to me, “I’m so sorry for your loss. How tragic.” Yes. The death of my mother is tragic. And so is the punishment I received: removal from my family of birth because my father was too poor to keep me. And let me add another variable into the larger discourse: religion. A Catholic priest so compassionately reminded my father at my mother’s funeral that “the baby needs two parents” that my devout Catholic father followed exactly what his parish priest suggested. My grieving father relinquished his youngest child to a closed adoption because that was a better solution, better than asking for help to keep his family together, better than having his second wife take care of all of his children while he went to work. It must have killed him to come home each day to his older children, filled with grief and despair. He had kept his family together by getting married very soon after his first wife’s death, but at the cost of giving up his newborn daughter, a choice he told me decades later that he regretted. So, when people tell me their joys of adoption, I am hurt. And then I tell them what adoption did to me. My broken families are not the only truth I hit them with. I slam them with the truth that my real birth certificate is sealed and that every single adoptee in America is issued a falsified birth certificate. People are just not aware. … sorry for rambling. Just in a rush today.

I answered, but doubt that it will get posted, because all those angry adoptees all have their heads up their asses:

as usual, Joan gets the facts of what happened at my mom’s funeral wrong. I was only 3, but I heard from many relatives what happened. Including my own father. It is strange that Joan forgot to blast my mother’s sister here because it was she who suggested the adoption in the first place – because her childhood friend was the sister of the man who adopted Joan. It was my aunt Catherine who approached my father with the idea of adoption. My father then asked our parish priest for advice. It was not done at the funeral.

Also – my father was NOT poor. He worked for the City of Buffalo as a civil engineer. He worked in the Streets Paving Department drawing up blueprints and plans of the city’s streets. Joan routinely spins this web of lies and even goes around saying my father was a high school dropout. Which, actually was true – BUT she doesn’t say WHY! BECAUSE LIKE MANY OTHER YOUNG MEN AT THE TIME MY FATHER LEFT SCHOOL TO ENLIST IN THE ARMED FORCES TO FIGHT WORLD WAR II.

When the war was over, he went back and got his GED. He worked as a machinist in a bicycle repair shop and then went to night school for blueprint and draftsman. He was hired by the city of Buffalo in 1955 and worked there until he retired in 1988. Yes, my father married a second woman – so what? Lots of people get married. For the wrong reasons. So? Joan’s own marriage was hardly a work of bliss. Because my stepmother turned out to have mental problems, we remaining birth siblings and now two stepbrothers were placed in foster care on and off. After the death of his second wife, my father put a down payment on a house and gathered his kids from the foster homes. In 1965, as now, 4 teenagers and a mortgage can be really tough on the wallet. My father took a second job as a salesman at Sears. So? Lots of people work two jobs to help pay a mortgage and rear a bunch of teenagers. That hardly makes my dad “poor.”

In 1970, when I was 18, my father met and married another woman. She had two daughters and soon my brother came along. At which time, my stepmother resumed the career that she had before she had her two girls – working as a nurse’s aide. So? Lots of families have two incomes. Doesn’t make them “poor.” My father and stepmother liked to travel. Because my stepmother emigrated from France and relatives both in France and Greece, they traveled to Europe frequently. So? Lots of people travel the world.

Joan has a habit of pointing out other people’s income and tries to dictate to them how they should spend their money. She did it to me.  Joan and I had a joint checking account in 1989 to buy real estate. For the expenses of real estate brokers, lawyer fees etc. It was MY money – $4000.00 I put in. For real estate. Joan was dipping into it to fix her car. But her husband had a job. We dissolved the idea of buying real estate and after figuring out how much was used for legitimate reasons, I was shorted out hundreds of dollars – Joan took MY money – STOLE IT. A lawyer’s refund was being sent to us – split in half and Joan agreed since it was my money in the first place, when she got her check – she would give it to me. It was MY money after all. BUT when the time came – she said she was keeping it – MY money – to buy a xmas tree for her kids. I said Keep it – but I don’t want to see you again. Joan’s husband worked. Joan refused to get a job. Joan sees Ruth and her husband working. Ruth and her husband have no kids. Ruth and her husband can afford to buy Joan’s kids xmas. Really?

MY HUSBAND AND I WORK TO PAY OUR EXPENSES NOT ANYBODY ELSE’S. I DID NOT GIVE BIRTH TO JOAN’S KIDS AND WAS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM. This is how Joan’s mind works. go ahead and not post this – I’m putting it all on MY blog anyway. – but you adoptees all think another adoptee can do no wrong – but you are all hiding your heads in the sand when you take Joan’s words as gospel truth. On my blog – I post scans of actual documents that prove what I say. Joan just runs her mouth.

1. gertmcqueen

gert here…of course Daniel, author of the blog that Joan wrote lies about us, will not publish our comments…but it’s save to say that he at least read them! For a smart guy he is pretty dumb! These angry adoptees don’t care whether Joan lies or not…she’s good for their program against all things adoption. Joan’s their poster-child because she had such great tall tales of pain and suffering due to her being abused by adoptive parents…oh excuse me, according to Joan they are ‘social parents’…So these angry adoptees will just continue blindly agreeing with each other and ignoring the facts that are presented to them…for you see they are not interested in truth, only in the fact that they can continue to spread their form of venom and hate


exactly Gert – these hypocritical “angry adoptees” foam at the mouth when they demand THE TRUTH. That’s what they keep saying they want. They want THE TRUTH told about their birth certificates, their geneology, their birth families, their family medical backgrounds. That is reasonable, and they should receive those truths. However, THE TRUTH does not end there – because the birth family have their own truths and facts – Joan’s warped brain needs to lay BLAME on everyone – and I mean everyone in her birth and adoptive families for her wretched life. And there are lots of people out there who are so stupid, so brainless as to think that Joan doesn’t lie. They are worthless sheeple.

2ND edition of Forbidden Family? If it contains ONE lie, I’ll see you in court Joan Wheeler November 12, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In recent months, Joan Wheeler has been working on a “second edition” of her “autobiography” Forbidden Family.

The first edition was yanked from publication because of the serious LEGAL problems with it – slander and libel; unauthorized use of somebody’s picture. Her lame attempt to disguise my name, while publishing her own adoptive and birth name, my mother’s real name, my father’s real last name and publishing the name of a publication and an article (written by Joan in the early 1990’s) that had my real name in it. Much of the first chapter of her book was taken from this article.

Joan writes on her website that her book is “truthful.” Yet her book contains bold-faced lies. Lies that are proven as such by actual Buffalo City Court documents, and hand-written letters by Joan herself.

The court documents were sent to Trafford Publications and in May 2011, Trafford’s legal department ruled that Joan VIOLATED her contract with them: mainly that she said her “truthful” book was the truth and that she was the sole copyright of the book and all it’s content. Since my documentation proved she committed libel and used my photograph without my knowledge or consent, her book was pulled.

I cannot believe that Joan’s second edition will be an improvement. Because if she changes anything, it will contradict her statement that the first edition is “truthful.” Because the truth can NOT be changed. Anybody who thinks the truth is changeable is an out and out asshole.

Does Joan think her second book is going to pass my scrutiny? Because if I find even ONE lie in it about me, I will be suing her ass. And I will view any further lies as an act of harassment against me, and I will file harassment charges against her again.

And now I have a foot in the court door Joan – you may have gotten away with calling my job with false accusations about computer fraud because the judge basically pooh-poohed it. (July, 2013). But this time honey – the proof will be on the pages of your lying book. I WILL SEE YOU IN COURT JOAN WHEELER! AND THAT’S THE TRUTH.

1. gertmcqueen

gert here…and I SECOND this! Any and all materials that Joan Wheeler writes about OUR FAMILY will be looked at with a fine-tooth comb and magnifying glass! We OWN that first libelous book and we will OWN anything else that she writes that is not 100 percent truth…NOT HER VIEWPOINT but the truth. A person does not get the right to write anything, from their point of view, their feelings, etc, against REALITY AND TRUTH. so be VERY VERY CAREFUL JOAN WHEELER.

 2. Ruth

Joan certainly is a glutton for punishment. If she is looking for a beatdown, then she’s got it. And that is no threat to any physical beating – it is not a threat at all. It is a PROMISE – of a legal beat down and this time, I will sue her for everything she has – I will own her house. And once I do – I will evict her. She tried in the past to destroy my life – my career – my marriage – and she failed every time. She even failed in her last attempt to fuck me on my job – because stupid bitch forgot that my employer’s computer security team could check what I do. Her stupid and false accusation of computer fraud and misuse (November 2012) was checked and I was found innocent.

Make no mistake Joan – I own you. And you gave yourself to me with your ridiculous lies and schemes.

from facebook:

Gert Mcqueen – her sugar-daddy must have some kind of influence/$$ for her to think that she can get another book on us

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace – don’t know about that – all I can see is her fucking delusions surfacing again. SHE is going to put out HER book and to hell with us. That’s how she is thinking. But this is going to blow up in her face.

that book has nothing to do with adoption reform at all – her motive for it, was the intentional trashing of anyone in her life that ever pissed her off. Her continued attempts to fuck with me – calling my job repeatedly in 1994-95, calling child abuse on herself, posing as me, writing letters to John at his mom’s house telling him to leave me – are all indicative of this. She hates me and her book is nothing but a way to get at me. But she has failed and this is another example of her mental illness.

Gert Mcqueen – her delusions are surfacing because she’s got a sugar-daddy! personally I’m not too concerned about this cause I know that I’M NOT DONE EXPOSING EVERYTHING I have on her…in fact I got to finish up a draft to get it on the blog…tonight! She not only has delusions, she is delusional…NO PUBLISHER will print from her…and unless she’s willing to really self-publish it ain’t going to get done, but then again, if she did self-publish it…the range of media EXPOSURE from us will still do the same as we did already.

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace – exactly Gert – even if she cons another publisher, that publisher will hear from us – and the outcome will be the same as it was for the first book – the complete pulling of the book. Amazon.com already knows about the “problems” with this author – and any website that would carry it will be notified that the book is libelous. Any publisher will also be held liable by me for publishing any lie about me – I stand to make a lot in monetary damages.

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace  – as to the sugar daddy – I think he may be gone – because her attention seems to be focused on me and bitch Laura is feeding her shit. That’s all right. Laura is an ass – is inconsequential to me, and I dismiss that little child.

3. RuthNovember 12, 2013

I want to extend a hearty thank you to Joan – for her stupidly handing me this to me on a silver platter.
Joan, you foolish child – by calling my job in November 2012 with a false accusation of computer fraud/misuse, you gave me the opportunity to file charges on you.
The judge pooh-poohed it because he thought it was silly nonsense. However, the publication of a libelous book is a different matter.
Many people who put out libelous material get sued. Your continued lying about me will show the judge that you are, and have been engaged in a smear campaign against me and my reputation. Your admission to calling my job back in 1994-95 and the letter that I have that you wrote to Mr. Peter S. (then director of patient accounts) will show that you have indeed been engaged in a 20 year smear campaign against me.

The judge dismissed my charges against you in July 2013. BUT if you publish a book after that date, that contains lies about me, my lawyer and I will be able to show the judge that you are still harassing me in print.

Hold on your socks and pull!

Oh NO! Gert and I are collecting movies on DVD! Quick now, throw us in jail, Joan Wheeler! November 6, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Oh NO! Gert and I are collecting movies on DVD! Quick now, throw us in jail, Joan Wheeler!

On page 302 of her filthy lying book, Joan Wheeler condemns me for “collecting movies.” She uses it in the context that because I didn’t have kids I was using my own money on other things. But she said it in a very rotten way. “It’s a good thing she didn’t have any children.”

Yes, at the time, I would go to the store and buy a pack of VCR tapes and tape movies off the TV. However, at that time, I had also acquired an adult dog- DOG, not cat, Joan. Her name was Brandy, three years old, a 65 pound Siberian Husky/Alaskan Malamute mix. We got her from some neighbor friends who were breaking up.

Despite my hobby of “collecting movies,” I spent over $100.00 on a dog house for my Brandy. I didn’t have a car at the time. I ordered it through the JC Penney catalog and had it delivered to my house – at extra cost for that delivery. It was so cute – a snap-together resin plastic dog house, terra cotta in color with a green roof – shaped like a log cabin with a slate roof.

Excuse me Joan – who the hell are YOU to make a comment on how I spend MY money? Money that I earn by busting my ass on something called A JOB! – Something YOU were too lazy to get. ALSO,  I showed that despite my hobby of collecting movies, I was a responsible dog parent in providing the best of care for her. I took better care of her than her previous owners, who fed her commercial food for pet rodents (hamster food) with kitchen grease poured on it. Within two months, Brandy’s coat thickened and shone right up. Other neighbors noticed it and complimented me. I also bought toys for her, she got the best medical care too when she needed it – she was up all the time on her shots.

O, but in September 1986 – Joan spent money on tickets to see The Monkees when they appeared in Buffalo. Never mind she had already seen them in July 1986. But she simply had to see them a second time. Then a week later, she’s on the phone with me, crying – her electricity was getting shut off. Now they don’t shut your electricity off unless you haven’t paid it for a few months. And here is Joan, with a one year old son at home, 8 months pregnant with her daughter – and instead of paying the electric bill to provide for her child(ren) she goes to a rock concert. AND HAS THE NERVE TO WRITE IN HER FILTHY BOOK THAT I WOULD NOT BE A GOOD PARENT BECAUSE I BOUGHT BLANK VCR TAPES??? TALK ABOUT A HYPOCRITICAL BITCH!

In 2001, when Peter Jackson’s film version of the first installment of The Lord of the Rings came out, I made the switch to DVDs. I picked up a good player and have been buying DVDs ever since. I have the complete TV series of Star Trek, (original), The Animated Series, and Enterprise. Missing only one of the movies, missing only one season of ST Voyager, and have two seasons of Deep Space Nine and three seasons of ST The Next Generation.

I also have the complete TV series of Superman, Remington Steele, The Flash, Alien Nation, Buck Rogers, Earth 2, and some of The West Wing, The Paper Chase, Hill Street Blues, Fame. And the first four seasons of Ghost Hunters. I also pre-ordered (and paid for) via one of the cast members – the last season of Ghost Hunters International, which will be autographed by a couple of the cast members.

I also have the mini series Roots, Roots 2, Brideshead Revisited, Shaka Zulu, Captains and the Kings, Cosmos, Centennial, Shogun, The First Churchills. And movies! – I have gotten lots of movies, and music DVDs. And even got a music DVD that I ordered thru and he autographed for me – from my long time crush Jon Anderson of Yes. And my husband John is building up his collection too!

Well, lately, since she is now retired, Gert has been collecting DVD movies. She always enjoyed watching Star Trek, but was busy with her kids to really sit down and watch it. She recently went out and got all three season of the original series and a set of all the Star Trek movies.

From yesterday (November 5, 2013) to this morning – we were having a conversation on facebook, concerning the new fan-made Star Trek series, “Star Trek Continues.” This most excellent series just wrapped up principal photography on their second episode. Their first episode “Pilgrim of Eternity” is available for viewing on youtube. It is very good. Gert was telling me that she wanted to get through the DVDs that she already bought before she got into this series.

My last comment in our conversation is here and sums up what I truly believe was (and is) Joan’s motive in constantly putting me down for MY own life and financial decisions – JEALOUSY, PURE JEALOUSY! She looks at me, even though I have my own day-to-day struggles, and sees that I have direction and meaning in my life. HER own life has no meaning or direction.

Here is my last comment to Gert on facebook:

“oh no! just thought of something! You and I are “collecting movies!” – Better hide that info from the Nameless One, lest she condemn us for it – as she condemned me for collecting movies (particularly horror) in her book. Seems to me she was letting her f’ing jealousy come out in that condemnation. SHE had no job (lazy ass), HER husband was not bringing in the $$$ like John was, John and I didn’t have kids to suck up all our $$$, so whatever John and I were using our own hard-earned $$$ was automatically condemned by her.”

1. gertmcqueen

yep Joan spend decades writing about what the birth sisters did or didn’t do…like she’s in our minds…I thought that Joan wrote/writes about HER ADOPTION so why is it that she KNOWS what is right/best/wrong with us or anyone else…Joan is just a little god looking for a following! Sorry I’m the star of MY MOVIE and no one gets to write lies about me and get away with it

 2. Ruth

oh absolutely Gert – that book has hardly ANY thing on her own life – but a lot of observations on OUR lives – particularly mine.

3. Ruth

Joan calls me Brenda in her book. Almost every other page is “BRENDA this, BRENDA that.” Was it a book for bitching about BRENDA (me) or a book about JOAN and her adoption.

4. Ruth

Oh – I just had a memory flash! Somewhere in her stupid book, and I don’t feel like looking for the exact page right now, Joan also condemned me for whining that I didn’t have my own computer with internet at home. NOPE, I never whined. I had told her in 2003/2004 that I did not have a computer at home and relied on public computers in libraries. I could not afford to buy a home computer because I was paying a mortgage. I was (and still am) a responsible property owner. The mortgage and taxes get paid first. Then the utilities, then the car note and car insurance and then credit card bills and other bills. Then come groceries, prescriptions, food and supplies for my cat, cleaning supplies and other household goods. After all of that – THEN I’ll pick up a DVD.

My mortgage was paid off in March 2006. In June 2006, I bought my first home computer, printer, and obtained internet service. John and I also got our first cell phones at that time. In 2009, our roof sprung a leak, and we needed a total tear-off and new roof. We financed a second mortgage to pay for the new roof. We also put on a new porch three years ago, we just replaced the storm windows in the front, and are doing interior work. In time, we will put on new siding.

My husband is retired now, but once a week, still goes into the Army/Navy Surplus Store to help out in the store, to keep active, and bring in a little extra cash. I still have my job, and we are both doing hands-on work on our house and property.

What anybody does with their own time, lives or money is nobody else’s damn business. For Joan to constantly be making comments on RUTH’S life, and RUTH’S possessions in her own book is a clear indication of what I said above – JOAN IS JEALOUS OF ME – pure and simple.

Joan Wheeler condemns people who adopt their grandchildren and raises them as their own children, yet stays good buddies with a woman who did exactly that. November 5, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In Gert’s new blogpost, “Joan Wheeler, angry adoptee, is a glutton for punishment, she seeks it out! Then whines when she’s called-out!” Gert outlines Joan Wheeler’s continued paranoia against us, and Joan’s accusations of harassment to her by us, when we are merely exercising our constiutional right of free speech to offer our opinion on any subject we want. It was in an internet article about a man who was adopted and raised by his grandparents, and passed off as the SON, not grandson of the adopters. And of course, Joan spoke out AGAINST that situation. To see the link to the original article go to Gert’s post.

I am not going to post Gert’s entire blogpost, only my comment to Gert’s post, because it is a blogpost in itself.


and speaking of attacks: Joan Wheeler actively engages in attacks on ME! A year ago, November 2012, I visited amazon.com – on my home computer in my home. I work the night shift – 7pm to 7am. On my nights off, I keep that same schedule. I go to bed at 6 or 7am. so if I’m posting somewhere on the internet at 4am, does not automatically mean I’m at work. BUT Joan, in a repeat of what she did to me in 1994-95, in trying to attack me and get me fired from my job – writes a letter to my job, accusing me of computer fraud and misuse. The letter arrived just after Thanksgiving, 2012. I wasn’t told about it until January 2013. In the meanwhile, my employer’s computer security team investigated me, and EXONERATED ME. However, Joan, in her stupidity, goes on the internet (Huffington.com) and admits to being the one who sent the letter. I immediately charged her with harassment. After several delays – we finally battled it out in court on July 23, 2013. Unfortunatly, the judge, as with so many other court officials, pooh-poohed the severity of my enduring 25 years of harassment from my own sister. They have the mindset that sister’s should get along. They have their heads up their asses and this is why some bullies get away with their shit year after year. We are all aware that mentally ill people have more rights then the rest of us, and my harassment charge was dismissed. But Joan LIED on the stand and I detail those lies in this post: “Joan Wheeler perjures herself TWICE on the stand today, July 23, 2013.” 

Now, a week before we went for that final court date, I was “followed” on facebook by a Thomas Heath – who after I investigated him, and outed him, UNfollowed and blocked me. Tom is the husband of a former cow-worker, Laura Heath, with whom I had a small spat with back in May 2010. Laura, being the little idiot that she is, runs immediately to Joan’s facebook page and becomes facebook friends with. Never mind that she never met Joan, and only knew of her thru my bitching about her and her now-dead lying book. (“The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”) In three years, I had barely thought of Laura, then all of a sudden her husband comes into my life – just a week before Joan and I go to court? And there’s evidence on Joan’s facebook page that Laura and Joan are planning on going out for coffee?

So when Joan herself is not actively attacking us, she lies to other people, whines to them, shed tears, that her rotten birth sisters, Ruth in particular, is HARASSING HER. And these stupid brainless people just melt at the sight of Joan’s tears and willingly go along with harassing me.

Brian Maloney for one. Actually threatens on HIS attack blog against us, to expose a dark dirty secret that I have. When he did that, I filed an extension harassment charge, in conjunction to the one I had going against Joan, but the judge (the same one who has been overseeing the case since January 2013) said that Joan was not responsible for Brian’s action and that I could pursue criminal charges against Brian on his own actions. When I informed Brian of this, via my blog, I told him that I will not be held to emotional blackmail and that if he knows my dark dirty secret to spit it out. BUT I warned him – the police and the courts will not look kindly on a strange man telling a woman’s secrets on the internet. What those secrets are, I don’t know. I don’t have any. Brian is a stranger to me because he never met me, nor spoken to me face-to-face, and relys only on Joan’s lies about me. And this my friends, is a continuing ATTACK of Joan – against me. Lies to a strange man and tells him Ruth’s “secrets” and then Ruth gets threathened with blackmail. Cries to Laura that Ruth is taking her to court and all of a sudden, Laura’s husband gets involved in Ruth’s life. Never mind that Ruth has never met Laura’s husband. see my blog post “I am outing Thomas D. Heath and Laura J. Stickney-Heath as stalkers and troublemakers.”

I’ve also been in facebook contact with Laura’s biological daughter, (a Native American) that she had before she married Tom. Tom adopted this girl when she was 4 years old. At the age of 7, Laura put her in a foster home. She herself had a daughter, and Laura got custody of that little girl, who Laura is now raising, keeping her away from the child’s real bio-mom, and is passing her off as her daughter, not her grand-daughter. And Joan is going out to coffee with Laura, plotting with Laura to attack Ruth, but Laura is doing the very same thing that Joan is speaking out against in this NPR article – people adopting their grandchildren and passing them off as their own children. AND Tom and Laura did the same thing that Gert and her second husband did – ADOPTED the stepchild/bio-child. Why does Joan condemn Gert for that in her book, but actively hangs out with Laura and Tom? Because we see that even Joan’s zealous hatred of anything regarding adoption and child trafficking goes out the window when it comes to attacking Ruth. HYPOCRITE – if you’re against adoption – then be against it – ALL THE WAY!

ps – how I got in contact with Laura’s daughter – because Laura and Tom are keeping J.’s daughter away from her – J. routinely googles Laura and Tom’s name – J. lives in another state and doesn’t even know where her 13 year old daughter lives. She came upon my blogpost two weeks ago, and sent me a facebook friend request. But I knew about J. three years ago – from J.’s myspace page – where she putting out messages – looking for her daughter.

How could you Joan, how could you? Be active friends with a woman (Laura) who keeps a child away from her own bio-mom? Isn’t that the crux of your hatred of adoption? ISN’T IT?

Joan Wheeler loves to evade reality – now she suffers the consequences of that evasion. September 16, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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this was posted on facebook today:

“We can evade reality, but we cannot evade the consequences of evading reality.” – Ayn Rand

oh so true. Since the beginning of this blog, I have scanned and posted actual documents that support the FACT that I am telling the truth. That is the REALITY of the situation.

Those documents include photographs, envelopes from the mail – letters that Joan Wheeler had sent to me – some handwritten, some typed. Other documents include actual city of Buffalo court documents.

For example, in 1993, we were in court and the judge handed down his sentence – I was given a six month restraining order to stay away from Joan. The dates of that order were from August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. The order was also ACD – Adjournment on Consideration of Dismissal. This means that in those six months, if I kept to that court order, the entire matter would be dismissed. I did keep to the court’s order and it was dismissed – leaving me with NO record of any sort.

Joan subsequently wrote a letter to the Child Abuse department in Albany NY on December 31, 1994 and told them that in that court case of summer 1993,  I had been sentenced to six months PROBATION and that I had a criminal record. That is a lie. THAT IS REALITY. I have scanned that letter and posted it to this blog.

In Joan’s libelous book Forbidden Family, Joan reports that the order of protection was for one year. That is a lie and not reality.

Joan also reports in her book that she had obtained “multiple orders of protection” against me. That is a lie and is not reality.

In 1999, I filed charges of harassment against Joan and THE COURT COMPUTER printed out the previous court proceedings between Joan and myself. It showed 1. the 1993 case wherein I was given the six month order of protection. It correctly showed that it was ACD. 2. the case of 1995 where I filed harassment charges on Joan and the judge dismissed it.

It did NOT show a 1993 order of protection for one year, nor a 1994 order of protection for one year, or ANY OTHER ORDER OF PROTECTION.

In REALITY – there was one, AND ONLY ONE order of protection that Joan had gotten against me. ONE does not constitute MULTIPLE.

The court computer also showed NO EVIDENCE THAT I EVER HAD A CRIMINAL RECORD. So, when Joan says in her book, in person, and on the internet that I have been arrested and have a criminal record – SHE IS LYING.

For any person to deny the FACTS from actual court documents tells me that they are delusional and are trying to evade reality. To which I say, “well, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.” And that horse will now suffer the consequences of not hydrating themselves.

For Joan and any of her delusional buddies to deny the FACT that she has lied all over the place shows me that she and they are trying to evade reality.  And they shall and are, experiencing the consequences of evading reality. Which is – loss of credibility. People now know that Joan is, and always was a liar.

Joan Wheeler perjures herself TWICE on the stand today, July 23, 2013 July 23, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Joan Wheeler perjures herself TWICE on the stand today, July 23, 2013

addendum to this post  keep reading for explanation – Joan testified that she has NO connection with anyone from Buffalo General Hospital – I mentioned that she is facebook friends with one Laura Heath – Laura J. Stickney-Heath, whose husband Thomas D. Heath was caught redhanded “following” me on facebook on July 16, 2013. Laura is a former cow-worker of mine, who after I booted her off my facebook page, went seeking out Joan on facebook to friend her to — what? Combine forces with Joan to do shit against me? Anyway – Laura has listed on her facebook page many current and former Buffalo General employees – so tell the court again and perjure yourself again Joan – how you have no connection with anybody from Buffalo General – you’re a fucking liar Joan. And both you are Laura are shit trouble-makers. Grow the fuck up – both you bitches.

So we get to court today for Joan to answer criminal stalking and harassment charges for contacting my employer with false accusations.

I was sworn in and my lawyer asked me some questions to lay the basis of my charges against her. One of the questions was to what my online screen name was and did I know Joan’s online screen name. I answered truthfully that my screen name is LadyMoondancer and Joan goes by several, forbidden-family is one of them.

My lawyer then submitted into evidence the screenshot and printout that I had made of Joan’s admission to contacting my employer with false accusations.

Joan’s lawyer objected because we did not establish a foundation that my employer was contacted and that I was reprimanded.

To remind readers, – my employer, Buffalo General Hospital, received a letter in Nov. 2012 that stated that I was using their computers to harass Joan via the internet – by reading her blog. Sorry toots – your blog is out there FOR people to read. And the medical library has computers for public use – we even use them to play games at pogo.com – ON OUR OFF DUTY HOURS! So if I’m using those computers on my lunch break – sorry Joan – I haven’t broken any rules laid down by BGH. Joan also said that the Kaleida IP address showed up on her website tracker. So? What does that prove? Kaleida’s complimentary WI-FI service is used by literally thousands of people everyday by staff, patients and visitors. And how do I know that Joan herself didn’t drive to BGH, park on the street, access the BGH WI-FI with a laptop and go to her blog to make it look like I did that. She has done underhanded shit before to make it looke like I did stuff – namely like call child abuse on herself using MY name. Yes, in December 1994, she called the child abuse hotline and said she was me and named my fiance as an abuser. – Like I’m going to give out my real name and name my own fiance as a child abuser – oh grow up Joan.

So back to 2012/2013 – When BGH received the letter – they investigated me and found me innocent. So much for Joan’s trying to make trouble for me.

But my lawyer argued that the internet message was proof enough that Joan was harassing me and the judge allowed the message to be entered into evidence.

I left the stand and Joan took the stand and was sworn in. My lawyer showed her the printout I had made of her internet  post and asked her to read it. She started to read it out loud, but then was told to read it to herself. When she was done, she looked up at my lawyer. He asked her point-blank if she had written that post.

She looked him right in the eye, moments after being sworn in to tell the truth and LIED – she said, “no. I didn’t write that.”

My jaw dropped open! Then my lawyer said something else (I don’t remember what) and asked her again if she had written the post.

Joan cocked her head to one side, then the other, very jauntily, then said rather cockily, “Yeah, I wrote it.”

OH! But did she not just say she DIDN’T WRITE IT? Perjury and contradicting herself! – so what else is new? Joan is such a pathological habitual filthy liar – that she automatically LIES!

My lawyer then brought up the second part of her post – the false accusation that I had “called from my employer for me to make appointments at your place of employement.”

First, before we go further – the wording she wrote on Huffington – she said that I had called FROM MY EMPLOYER. – but that’s not what she said in court.

Okay, I’m going to paraphrase here and this is the cock and bull shit stupid story she said.

Sometime in January of this year (2013) she received a phone call from Buffalo general’s cardiac department. (and she kept switching from saying the call came from the cardiac department to the imaging department and back again to the cardiac department and then back to the imaging department). Anyway, supposedly – whatever department (make up your mind Joan) called her on her unpublished phone number to remind her to make an appointment for an echocardiogram. Then a few minutes later, when she said the call came from the imaging department – the apppointment was supposed to be for a mammogram.- Guess what people? – The EKG/EEG  (echocardiogram) and mammograms are done in TWO DIFFERENT DEPARTMENTS! Which is why she couldn’t keep her story straight – and kept bouncing from one department to another. She also said that 30 years ago I worked in the cardiac department. WRONG! I have NEVER worked in the cardiac department. I have always worked on the nursing units – from 1972-1985 on a general med-surg nursing unit. From 1985-1990 I worked on a nursing unit that took care of cardiac – mostly angiology patients. Big difference baby. From 1990-94, in the Medical Intensive Care Unit. From 1994-2000 a floor that was GYN, had 7 hospice beds, two lead shielded rooms for nuclear med patients, from 2000 to present in the kidney transplant nursing unit/renal nursing unit. Why the fuck don’t you do your research babe? AND  I worked 1972-1976 night shift – 11pm-7am. 1976-1980 day shift, 7am-3pm. 1980-2011 night shift – 11pm-7am. 2011 to present, night shift – 7pm – 7am. Now get your false accusations lined up to my correct hours and duties, idiot.

She said that she doesn’t go to BGH for anything and she just KNEW the call had come from me.

My lawyer asked her to explain. She said, the call from BGH was a message left on their answering machine for them to call Joan and remind her to call to make an appointment. My lawyer asked her what steps she took to make sure it was Ruth who made the call. Did she ask BGH to play the recording for her so she could listen to the voice? Joan said she had asked them that, but they had erased the message (how convenient). My lawyer asked her something else, then she said, “well it is my SUPPOSITION that Ruth made that call.”


I was trying very hard not to laugh out loud.

Then Joan further perjured herself by saying that I am the only person she knows that works at Buffalo General Hospital. And she has NO CONNECTION WITH ANYONE FROM BUFFALO GENERAL HOSPITAL.

OH REALLY? On Joan’s facebook page, she is freinds with a Laura Heath – yes the very Laura J. Stickney-Heath whose husband Thomas D. Heath was caught red-handed last week following me on my facebook page and I wrote all about it in this blog post – “Joan Wheeler has a couple of new puppets to spy on me – Thomas Heath and Laura Stickney-Heath – roflmao! July 17, 2013”

Joan and Laura became friends in June 2010 after I booted Laura off my facebook for disrespecting me. Laura got into a hissy fit and ran off looking for Joan on facebook and friended her.

Laura quit working at BGH about a year ago but that doesn’t mean anything – Joan said she has no connection with anyone from Buffalo General Hospital – a former employee is FROM BGH. and how do I know that LAURA didn’t make that call to BGH to make it look as though I did it.

And really, how do we know that ANY call was ever made? Joan makes up stories as she goes. Where is her proof? If I don’t have proof that a letter was received by Buffalo General Hospital accusing me of stuff, what proof is there that a phone call was received by BGH? and here’s something – because Joan had called child abuse on herself in 1994, posing as me, how do we know that she herself didn’t make this phone call to BGH? mmmm? food for thought. Like I said before – Joan makes up shit and lies and makes up little scenarios and little schemes.

Now here is the contradiction about this supposed phone call that BGH received – the message on Huffington Post said that I “have called from your employer for me to make appointments.” BUT in court she said that I placed a call TO BGH and THEY called her.

God dammit Joan – MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

So the judge actually dismissed it because we hadn’t proved that a letter was received by BGH and that Joan had written it and blah blah blah. I had asked Human Resources to give a copy of the letter, but their legal department wouldn’t give it to me – and without it, my lawyer couldn’t prove “proper foundation.”

I am not upset – because – my lawyer is going to get the transcripts of today’s proceedings and when I get them – I will have them notarized and scanned and post them to this blog so everyone can see for themselves how Joan committed perjury!

So I don’t think of today’s dismissal of my charges a defeat – oh hell no – I think of it as a victory – cos Joan got caught in a lie and I will post the proof of the lie when I get the actual court transcriptions.

I wanna see her worm her way of that!

And by all means, Joan – keep on calling BGH with your foolish phone calls. And keep on telling your asshole lies – because all your bullshitting has accomplished – NOTHING! I’m still working there baby. I go in at 7pm – do what I supposed to do and leave at 7am.

BGH is quite aware of your harassment of me – your lies were investigated and I was proven innocent. – Your reputation in BGH is now like it is on Huffington and various other internet sites – a stupid lying idiot.

You tried back in 1994-1995 with multiple, multiple phone calls and letters to Buffalo General Hospital, and it got you nowhere. Keep it up baby. Because one of these days, Kaleida’s legal department might just rear up and start a harassment charge of their own against you because you keep calling them with stupid nonsense.

And whatever will you do when I retire? Oh no – I will have taken away your plaything. Well, hell, I took it away already. Your name is on file at BGH as a crackpot.

And I’ve blogged about Laura J. Stickney-Heath and her husband Thomas D. Heath’s trying to worm their way into my life last week. Now, I’m only basing this on my SUPPOSITION that Laura had anything to do with this mess – but by god, if she did – she’s going to find herself in a heap of trouble. Because even being a former employee of BGH, causing trouble for an employee – oh – that don’t look so good.

Have fun kiddies!

1. RuthJuly 23, 2013

oh – I forgot – I’m not sure why she said this, to answer a question – I was jotting down some notes – but she did say that she is afraid of me.

Again, I tried very hard not to bust out laughing. What the fuck is she afraid of? That I will beat her ass? Look bitch, YOU are not worth me going to jail over. I don’t HAVE to beat your ass. I beat you in ways that are far worse. I was successful in getting your precious BOOK pulled from publication when I proved to the publisher that you slandered and libeled me in it. AND I ruined your credibilty in the adoption reform movement when I outed you as a liar. (of course I had the help of my sister Gert McQueen in doing this). You tried to ruin my reputation by stating in that filthy book that I have a criminal record and I proved you false. You tried in the past to ruin my relationship with my husband by writing me a letter saying he got the next door neighbor pregnant – and that didn’t work. You’ve tried in the past to get me fired and you tried it again. And it still hasn’t worked.

You are afraid of me? Well, why do you keep doing things to piss me off? Did you ever think of that? But like I said, as much as I would like to smash you – I won’t lay a hand on you – I don’t have to. I’ve hurt you far worse – and you have only yourself to blame. That’s what you get for lying.

2. RuthJuly 24, 2013

when Joan originally lied about having written that damning statement on Huffington – she hesitated a second. – but let’s back up. When I was on the stand, her lawyer objected to having that statement placed into evidence on the grounds that there was no proof that the statement actually came from Joan.

I was asked another question, and I said that the posting was done through Joan’s account on Huffington, and the accompanying profile picture is that of Joan.

When Joan lied on the stand, I think she was going to try to squirm her way out of by trying to claim that her account was hacked.

Too late for that Joan – because that posting and my accompanying answers have been on Huffington for all to see for six months now and I know you’ve seen my comments – cos they are all here, along all of YOUR damning comments.

She hesitated for a second, then denied writing the comment. And then a minute later admitted to writing it.

Too late Joan – I don’t think the judge caught it, but I did – and when the transcripts are posted on this blog – the whole world will see it and know what I’ve been telling the world for going on 4 years now – that Joan M. Wheeler is a LIAR.

To see the Huffington comments go here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/forbiddenfamily?action=comments – you will have to scroll down a bit – but you will see it. The comments are in reverse order, but you will see how I answer her and show the whole adoption reform world what a liar she is by giving out pertinent FACTS – and since that time, she has been upbraided on several adoption boards, her adoption buddies are running the hell away from her.

This is what I meant when I said I’ve hurt her far worse than laying hands on her. Her credibility is ruined. But that is not my fault. To keep one’s credibility intact and squeeky clean, one must tell the truth always. And not continuously make false accusations about people, and not target one person over and over.

Joan does not tell the truth. She continuously targets me with false accusations and slanted gossip.

If she has “fear” – it is her own conscience telling her that she is living her life wrongly.

3. gertmcqueen – July 24, 2013 [Edit]
Gert here…my comments to this post are in my new blog post..

Has Joan Wheeler learned any lessons from the past 3 years? NO, she still thinks she’s gotten away with something!
by gertmcqueen on July 24, 2013

4. RuthJuly 24, 2013

getting back to that phone call that BGH “received” from me. What other steps did Joan take to determine that it was indeed me who made that phone call (if there ever WAS a phone call). Joan, why don’t you get your lawyer to subpeona BGH’s phone records? IT’S CALLED CALLER ID BABY! All incoming calls to whatever department – imaging, cardiac and ALL departments have caller ID AND the hospital’s central phone system has records to ALL calls – incoming and outgoing. And I promise you – MY home phone number and my cell phone number will not show up on those phone records to either the cardiac department OR the imaging department. Why? BECAUSE I NEVER CALLED THEM. I also don’t have my medical services done at BGH, so there. MY home phone or cell phone only shows up to the floor that I work on or the nursing office. Because those are the only numbers that are pertinent to me. And don’t even try to pull another prank with BGH involving my floor or nursing office – because I am well known and well respected in that hospital. So take your stupid childish pranks elsewhere. Way to go Joan. Buffalo General Hospital is in the business of taking care of sick people and saving lives – do you have no respect for that? We don’t have time for you asshole pranks. Grow the fuck up.

And another thing – I don’t have your unlisted phone number. But I know who does – LAURA J. STICKNEY-HEATH. – yep. I saw a facebook exchange in October 2012 between the two of you – planning on going out for coffee. I wonder if HER phone number will show up on BGH’s phone records as the originator of the call.

6. RuthJuly 24, 2013

sick and frail – yep that’s Joan. When I first saw her in court, (five months ago) she came shuffling in. head bent down, oh, the weight of the whole world was on her. But she looked sort of healthy. a little too thin, but healthy. Yesterday, while I was on the stand, I looked at her and almost gasped out loud – she is nothing but skin and bones. I saw a three-quarter turn of the left side of her face. Her jaw bone sticking out. Her lips thin and pinched in. Gert suggested dental problems. I said no. This was different. My husband suggested something else —

That horrible horrible picture that is seared into my brain – because it was so awful – of Rock Hudson before he died. 30 years later and I can’t get that picture out of my head.  Joan is not that bad – but I’m left wondering.

I’ve got my health problems, yes. I’ll be 61 in a couple of weeks. I got those rotten hot flashes. I got arthritis. I was born with a slight case of scoliosis. I am 30 pounds overweight. And due to thyroid issues, I have thinning hair. But on the whole – I’m a dam healthy new senior citizen. under my tummy fat, I got abs that would make Arnold Schwarzenegger jealous – I can feel them on the sides. When I work out – I lift weights and I shadow-box. I’m a former professional dancer – and I do heavy lifting on my job. I started a diet in January and had lost 15 pounds by June. Then I went on a picnic and then the Fourth of July came around, and I gained back 5. When I go on vacation soon – it’s back to the diet and working out.

Joan needs to pay more attention to herself and eat. Stop the dam bar-hopping and trying to be a teenage groupie in the local music scene. Cause honey – you look ridiculous. The long gray hair framing a too-thin, too pale, face just makes you look like a washed up old hag. And please stop wearing dark clothes. so depressing. I came to court, dressed casually, but respectfully. With pink trousers and a blue tank top that had a lace cutout over my cleavage. (I like to dress in bright, but pastel colors). And my dusting body powder that you need in this heat – has glitter in it. Joan – get out the night time bars and drinking so much – get out into the daytime sun and live!

changing the truth to match your story – something Joan Wheeler does all the time July 16, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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story doesn't match truth

Not only did Joan Wheeler change the truth to match her story in her book, she changed the FACTS. And that just is unacceptable.

Especially when the facts she changes is about other people and harmful to their good reputation.

One of her “friends” said once that she has the right to tell her story the way she wants. No, she does not. If she’s telling a story about herself and wants to change the truth and facts about herself – that’s her business. But when she changes the truth and facts about another person – that is NOT right and is unacceptable.

That’s what this blog is all about – taking a lie about myself or my family that Joan had put in her book and on the internet and putting forth the truth. And backing up what I say with irrefutable TRUTH and FACTS – with actual court documents that prove that Joan Wheeler is a liar.

If you refuse to examine the evidence and think critically, you have no right to voice your uniformed opinion. Because you DON’T have a right to your opinion, you have the right to an INFORMED opinion. Because if you open your mouth without knowing all the FACTS – you have shown everyone that you are incapable of thinking critically and with knowledge. And you have made yourself out to be a fool.

I have provided evidence on this blog. If you refuse to go see it and then compare what actual court documents against the lies Joan Wheeler says – then you really are a fool. And I have no use for you.

demand evidence

1. gertmcqueenJuly 16, 2013

When Joan decided to write a NON-FICTIONAL book AND put her full name and BIRTH NAME on the cover she instantly…CAUSED the problem. She labeled the book as a TRUE story, but placed OUR ENTIRE FAMILY’S NAME clearly on the cover. So any changes of names of people within the book was meaningless…she had ALREADY named the entire family on the front COVER and placed OUR PICTURES on the back cover. Furthermore, not only DID SHE LIE, she also FABRICATED, WHOLE CLOTH, events, actions and words, about OTHER PEOPLE, than her self, and THAT is the problem with Joan’s libelous book…and with Joan herself. She DOES NOT have any right to slander, libel, tell fictional stories of other people and label it as HER TRUTH.

UPDATE, Sept 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…



writing memoirs and taking the consequences July 12, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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the following link is to a blogpost that Gert found, commented on, and shared with me. I shared the following on my facebook and share it here.


a discussion about someone writing and considering publishing a memoir.

I submitted the following comment. It is still awaiting moderation. But here it is for you – it’s good advice for all writers. –

Something else to consider:  If your “memoir” contains slander and/or libel – be prepared to suffer the consequences of your actions.  I am the sister of Gert McQueen, and we were both mentioned in a book that was first touted as a “truthful autobiography” then when the lies that were in the book were brought out and refuted on my blog, the author (sadly our younger sister) changed her tune and said it was her “memoir” – trying to give herself the out that her memory was faulty.  Which was just another outrageous lie.  My blog – https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/ – contains actual city court documents, handwritten letters from my younger sister that proved what she wrote in her “memoir” was libelous.  Those documents were sent to the publisher and the book was pulled from publication and will never be reprinted.  Also – don’t publish any photos unless you have written permission from ALL persons in the photo. Just because you “own” a copy of a family group photo – it is not necessarily “yours.” My picture was plastered on the back of my sister’s “memoir” without my permission. And the publisher took that in consideration, along with the court documents and hence killed the book.  My sister wasted 30 years of her life, writing a trashy “expose” as a vehicle to get back at anyone in her life she was angry at – and I was her biggest target.  The consequences she has suffered is a wasted life, her reputation in the adoption reform field is trashed, members of both her adoptive and birth family want nothing to do with her.  All she ever wanted from the age of 16 was to be with her birth family. She was reunited with us when she was 18, and now that she is 57 – she does not have us – due to her own actions and her “memoir.”

1. RuthJuly 12, 2013

regarding the use of my photograph – Joan Wheeler tries to use the ridiculous claim that the picture was blurred – no it was not – my father’s face is clearly visible. And so was mine. At the time of publication – 2009, there were still 4 living persons in the photo – myself, my two older sisters, and my father. And Joan did not get written permission from any of us to use our picture for monetary gain. One of the articles of the contract that she signed with Trafford Publications said “You hereby state that you are the sole copyright owner of the work and all its contents.” Since she did not have the sole copyright of a family photograph that was taken the year before she was born and a legal (in the eyes of United States law) entity and being, she did NOT have copyright ownership of that photo. And was in violation of the contract that she signed. The contract that she signed also stated that the contents of the non-fiction manuscript she submitted for publication did not contain any falsehoods. She stated that she had a one year order of protection against me in 1993. Then she said in 1994 we were involved in a three month court battle and she got another one year order of protection against me. She stated in the book that I have an arrest record. I submitted proof to Trafford, via court documents that: the order of protection in 1993 was for six months. we were never in court in 1994 The “three months court battle” occurred in 1995 when I filed charges of harassment against Joan and the three times we were in court were 1. Joan’s arraignment in March 1995. 2. First appearance in April 1995 – adjourned to a later date. 3. The later date of May 1995, where the judge dismissed my charges saying “sisters should get along.” Each time we were in front of the judge for about 10-15 minutes. Less than an hour total time. So much for a “three month court battle.” Those court documents were sent to Trafford and their legal department determined that Joan did indeed LIE in her book and when she signed the contract, she did so under false pretenses. She has no one to blame but herself for the death of her precious book.

2. RuthJuly 12, 2013

as for the three month court battle – and Joan’s penchant for exaggeration – I filed harassment and stalking charges against her on January 24, 2013 for her crap writing a letter to my job in November 2012 with a false accusation of me committing computer fraud. Which I was investigated for and found innocent. Even had a meeting on January 4 where I was told of the letter and their findings. – Then on January 23, Joan gets on the internet and brags that it was she who sent the anonymous letter. I made a screenshot of her admission and filed charges against her. We have been delayed a few times – we are scheduled to appear again on July 23, 2013. So that makes six months now – between the time I first filed, and we’ve been in court and it’s gotten adjourned a few times – I suppose Joan is now saying we’ve been involved in a six month court battle. See, this is what she does – she tells people things in a slanted way – slanted to make it sound as though she does no wrong – and that I, Ruth am “bitch supreme” and asshole. And her stupid idiot friends believe her sweet-talking. Anybody who doesn’t believe an actual court document is the real asshole.

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