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We have a new friend – her name is EricaShep34 September 15, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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Her name is Erica.

She’s been going through our blogs. So I moseyed on over to her wordpress blog at: http://ericashep34.wordpress.com/ She just started her blog. She hasn’t even made a blog post yet. But her priority seems to be in checking us Sippel Sisters out. She came over from Joan Wheeler’s Cyberbullying page.

So I wrote the following as a welcome to her (and left it as a comment on her blog):

well, hello there. are you a spy for Joan Wheeler and/or Brian Maloney? lol. doesn’t matter. You can read all you want on my blogs, or Gert’s blog. See, we have nothing to hide. But be warned – we back our blogs up with documented proof – like actual court documents that prove that Joan Wheeler lied in her book, and on her blogs, and all over the internet. These court documents have been scanned and posted on my blog. I’ve also scanned actual letters – some handwritten by Joan herself that prove that she is a liar and an abuser. So by all means -come and check me out! Here is the link to my main blog: Refuting a Book of Lies – https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/ Here is Gert’s Blog: Reclaiming the Sippel/Herr Family Honor http://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/ Here is my “unusual” blog – Midnight and Mythos: http://midnightandmythos.wordpress.com/ and my newest one, still under construction, about Star Trek, and the local Star Trek group that I head up: The USS Ari http://ussarincc1701.wordpress.com/ Or maybe you’d like to visit me on Twitter: twitter@ruthsippelpace or facebook: http://www.facebook.com/RuthSippelPace

So don’t be shy – don’t be a stranger! Come on board and be friends – I promise, we won’t bite you. Unless your purpose is to be a hater. Then be forewarned – we Sippel Sisters don’t take no crap. We are blogging about a serious matter – our lives, that have been used as lying fodder by Joan Wheeler. We refuse to allow lies to be spread about our very lives.

Remember- if Joan Wheeler has the Freedom of Speech to tell lies about us, we have the Freedom of Speech to tell the truth and the facts of our lives.

I like meeting new friends.


A Disclaimer – March 6, 2012 March 6, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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A Disclaimer

On March 6, 2012, Joan Wheeler left a comment on Gert’s blog “Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor.” In order to post a comment, one must leave an email address. And Joan left hers. It was an email address that I have known for some time.

(see end of this post for updated material)

Back when I first started my blog Refuting a Book of Lies, I posted a similar disclaimer. Joan had made a statement on her website that The Three Sippel Sisters were going around and leaving disparaging comments about her on various adoption reform forums. That was a lie. In October 2009, Joan was quoted in an adoptee article “Adoptees Face Sting of Discriminiation.” And then left several comments. In her comments, she got the facts of her adoption wrong. I tried to leave my comment, rebuting her, but my comment was not approved. An another website, The Daily Bastardette, the webhostess put up a post promoting Joan’s new book. (November 2009). I tried to leave a respectful comment, but the webhostess chose not to post it. Which was her right. It was because of my frustration in not having my respectful rebuting comments posted, that I began my blog – AFTER Joan’s book was published – which contained a direct reference to an article that contained my true name. My blog, containing my true name was not in existence until AFTER Joan’s book was published, so that makes her statement that we named ourselves on the internet first – a LIE!

So in my original disclaimer – I rebutted the fact that neither I, nor Kathy (Gert was not part of the blog until months later – we are after THREE distinct individuals, not one lumped together entity) were leaving disparaging remarks about Joan on various adoptee websites.

I said pretty much this – and it holds true today as it did then:

If any website is getting any comments from any individual naming themselves as one of the three birth sisters of Joan Wheeler, to please contact us via our blog for authentication purposes. As a matter of fact, after Joan’s book was pulled from publication, we did leave comments spreading the news that it had been pulled. And in the case of The Huffington Post, where Joan, out of the clear blue sky, posted a very vile lie about us and our grandfather, we rebutted the lie. (a complaint was made to Huffington, and Joan’s comments were deleted, her account canceled). In those cases, we left links to our blog(s). And blogged about what we wrote – and posted links to the discussion, so people can readily reference what we write on the internet.

If any website (and this includes Joan’s official website and her email) gets any email or comments with an email purporting to be from any of us birth sisters, please contact me with that email address, the IP address if it can be obtained, and the url address.

The reason? – Because Joan is devious enough to set up fake email addresses in our names, and use those fake email addresses to post as us. Joan did it before. Back in 1993, when she posed as her own 10 year old son, forged a letter to me, addressed the envelope to me, but the inside forged letter was for my husband. The purpose? To bait me to phone her – knowing she had a trace trap on her line – and she then hung up on me when I called. I thought we were disconnected, so I called back – and she hung up again. She then reported to the police that I was calling and hanging up on her and she filed a false police report on me.

So, bottom line, I want any email Joan receives from “us” investigated thoroughly – because it won’t be from us. It might be from Joan herself. Because she likes to play games and lie and twist the truth around. I don’t play games. Never have. I don’t lie. If I make a mistake, I own up to it. Not Joan. Even when the PROOF is shoved right into her face, she keeps on saying, “oh no, I didn’t do that.” 

UPDATE November 2016; as older posts are being seen I, Gert, am updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!


this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.



Bellowing the Truth – We Sippel Sisters are damn good at it! June 30, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Lessons in Life, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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by Ruth Sippel Pace

Bellowing the Truth

“He who does not bellow the truth when he knows the truth makes himself the accomplice of liars and forgers.” — Charles Peguy

On the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change discussion forum is a member who calls herself Daizy. The above quotation by Charles Pequy is Daizy’s “signature,” which gets added to the bottom of every one of her posts.

Now I can’t be 100% sure that this Daizy is the Daisy who left that recent stupid comment here on this blog, daring to lecture me and my sisters about this blog. Daisy says that we should just chalk Joan’s LIES up to being Joan’s “opinion,” and ignore her.

No Way! We Sippel Sisters are BELLOWING the truth!

Now if Daizy on the forum and Daisy who left the comment here are the same, she’s got a lot of dam nerve to come here and condemn us for bellowing the truth of OUR LIVES after Joan has LIED about them. Even if Daisy is not Daizy – she still has a lot of nerve telling me that I can’t tell the truth about MY life. Why can’t I Daisy? If Joan can tell a lie about me, I don’t have the right to tell the truth about me? It don’t work that way – and neither Joan nor Daisy is the boss of me.

But I’ve noticed something about Joan and the other adoptees, they want the TRUTH exposed about their birth certificates, their birth families, the circumstances of their conception, their relinquishment to adoption, they DEMAND the truth! However, I see that they only want TRUTH exposed when it suits them. They don’t want anyone else to tell the truth. Sorry guys, just because you got shafted, doesn’t give you the right to turn around and shaft somebody else. Because when you do that – you’re just as bad as the ones who shafted you. You don’t have the right to run roughshod over anybody else in this world – and if you do – be prepared for the consequences of your actions. This blog is the consequence of an adoptee’s action –  because   Joan Wheeler, decided that  SHE got shafted when she was adopted, she would now shove the shaft through her birth sisters. No way baby!

This whole blog has been condemned by the adoptees! Why? Because we dare to tell the truth about something we know very well about – our own dam lives! But it’s okay for Joan to tell LIES about our lives? Hey – adoptees – I’m talking to YOU guys – why is it okay in your (ahem) book for Joan Wheeler to tell lies, but it’s NOT okay for US to tell the truth?? Not that I give a dam about you guys – I don’t NEED your permission to write about MY own life!

This blog is about us sisters standing up to a lying bully – and shedding light on her lies and misdeeds. And if Joan or anyone else don’t like that – well that’s just too dam bad.

We Sippel Sisters are BELLOWING OUR TRUTH.

1. Gert McQueen – June 30, 2011
To paraphrase Jack Nicholson’s character in the movie “A Few Good Men”…
‘you want the truth?…you CAN’T handle the truth! because it scares you to KNOW the truth…

Mahatma Gandhi said:

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.

A ancient Anglo-Teutonic wisdom says:

You are your Deeds, the only thing that will remain,
when you die, is your reputation.

think about it!

That is why we sisters tell the truth!

Evidence sent to Trafford Publications which resulted in the pulling of the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler – Part 1 June 22, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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In our last post I stated “… Gert and I will be putting out on this blog those several pages of proof – because we are honest. We give our blog readers full disclosure of what we write and to whom. We deal in truth. – Not only do we deal in the truth – we deal in the truth to EVERYBODY! “  This is Gert’s narrative on how we decided to contact Trafford to make a formal complaint about this hideous book. Gert’s complaint to Trafford follows. My own complaint, because it covers so much material, is split into two parts, and will be posted either tomorrow or Friday, June 24, 2011, depending on time allowances.  – Ruth Pace

Gert McQueen:

We blood sisters had found out about the publication of Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family around the end of 2009. I myself did not get a physical copy of the book until late January 2010. As I started to go over it I became quite upset, as were my other two sisters. Initially we three were just picking out certain things in the book and then it dawned on me to attack the book from the beginning. So I started to read it from the outside covers and from page one. It is not an easy book to read and that doesn’t mean just because we sisters are subjects in the book. It is a difficult read because of all the hate, mental disruptions and disturbances and outright lies that the author put out.

At some point in December 2010 as I was reading chapter 38 I said out loud to myself…how did this f…ing book GET published? What kind of an publishing house produced this piece of garbage? It was at that time that I made my first phone call to Trafford, on December 14, 2010. As I spoke with a customer service rep and asked some questions, it became obvious, to both of us, that there were some serious problems with the content of the book. I was told that the author did NOT pay for editing services but had a ‘print ready’ manuscript and UNLESS there is a complaint the editing department DOES NOT look at the manuscript. I was told to send a email with some particulars of my objections to the customer service department. I did that and waited.

During the first week of January 2011, speaking with a customer service manager, I was told to send him a list of the most credible examples of libel and other evidences that we say the author had put in the book. Ruth and I did that. Then our father died and it was not until January 21 when I was able to speak with someone at Trafford, a top level manager, who took charge of our complaint. I spoke with Mr Hopkins many times between Jan 21 and May 6 when he finally told me that the book WAS pulled.

Ruth and I now submit, on this blog, the narratives and credible evidence we gave to Trafford. 

Here is Gert’s complaint:

Evidence related to slanderous lies in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler, provided by Gert McQueen.

It is the opinions of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis, and Ruth Pace that our personal and family honor has been sullied and damaged by the publication of this book by Joan Wheeler.

Lies pg xv and xvi ‘why I wrote this book’

Fact: author did not do research to verify information nor speak directly to all individuals (speaking here for blood sisters) to provide the facts and their ‘versions of the truth’. At no time did the author discuss anything related to us sisters, with us, before publication of this book. We had no knowledge that this book was being written or that it was published until after the fact.

Fact: this section (why I wrote the book) written in 2006, was indeed written for vengeance, contrary to the author’s statement, ‘I didn’t write this book for vengeance…my intent is not vindictive or malicious’.

Lie: author states, pg 531, ‘each one of my sisters had something to hide, something they did not want me to write about, which I have not written about.’

Fact: This is a warning statement, of the threat of blackmail, from the author to us sisters.

Examples of how and why the author tells the family tales for vengeance and with malice…pg 543, 545, 546, 547

Fact: Chapter 35 pg 429 – 459 were written about events of 2006/07 with malice and for vindictive purposes. Pg 434 author states that her friend said ‘I don’t want people to know my private life’. But author disregards that request and tells all. On pg 452 the author states… ‘Yes, Jimmy earned a place in this book right along with the other examples of prejudice against adoptees – against me- to be remembered for all the wrong reasons. Of all the people who hurt me because they didn’t understand or approve of what I’m doing…I expose in my writings.’

Fact: Chapter 38 pg 482 – 566 were written April-July 2009, again with malice and for vindictive purposes to show, pg 484, how the author ‘was the only half-orphan treated differently’. This chapter’s sole purpose is for malice and vindictiveness.

Fact: on two separate occasions, 1992 and 2006, before publication of this book, the author had lied directly to me (Gert) about our relationship, leaving me to believe that she loved me, but then used those 2 occasions to further lie about me in the book.

Lie: the author’s position that this book is about adoption reform when in fact it is violently against adoption.

Fact: chapter 23 pg 238- 242 author’s views about the Catholic church.

Fact: pg 485 author’s statement against the institution of adoption. ‘my conclusion that the concept of adoption is corrupt…pathology lies in adoption itself.’

Fact: pg 566 author’s statements ‘adoption must end in America , I demand restitution for my life as a person duped by adoption.’ 

Fact: pg 473- 476 author’s claims of fraud against Surrogate Courts, Registrar of vital statistics and Catholic Church

Fact: Pages 348 – 356 shows some of the outrage and hate that the author has towards adoption.

Pages 357 –358, 367-368 shows the author’s rage and hate, in front of her children

Fact: Author published, whole or in part, the real names of her birth parents, which are my and my sisters’ and brother’s parents and institutions/city/state locations. The author provides sufficient information, date and place of mother’s death, full names of relations, living and dead, where in a quick search could reveal our names, pg 489 – 492. There are many pages, through out that contain real names of family members.

Pages that show documents of my father and mother’s names, 460, 462, 464, 466,

On page 302 and footnoted as #15 page 634, the author sites her article ‘the Secret is Out’, which contained the real names of birth family, and which was the reason that birth sister Kathy wrote a letter to adoption agencies, around 1992/93, to protest the publication of our real names, which the author then relates falsely as harassments pg 310.

Pages containing a living family member’s name, where is the permission? 466

Back cover of the book contains a family photo of my parents, my brother, my sisters and myself. Living persons in that photo did not give permission for that photo to be used on a book of lies about our family.

Lie, slanderous: pg 95 author states that I, Gert, ‘took a few puffs on a joint to get stoned’. I, Gert, never did that!

Fact, pg 93 author states that she, the author, ‘started smoking pot’

Lie, slanderous: pg 128 author states that I, Gert, got the author drunk, stoned and then made sexual advances to her.

Fact: I, Gert, never did that!

Lies, slanderous: pg 214 and pg 220, author states again that I, Gert, sexually abused the author.

Fact: I, Gert, did not!

Fact: Additional pages containing foul obscene language…pg 214, 360. The other pages as indicated in my original email complaint are, 160, 219, 220, 312, 313, 370.

Lie, slanderous: author states, pg 214, that I, Gert, used those obscene words, plus threaten to kill her, in letters and over a telephone,

Fact: I, Gert, did not! I wrote one letter, as referenced on pg 214, to author’s adoptive mother informing her of the author’s actions of interference to and against my minor children and myself.

Fact: pg 157, the author had a previous history, 1977, of interfering with and causing trouble because over my father’s adoption of his step-daughter

Lies, slanderous: Pg 213- 214 contains much that is an untrue account of the events that the author herself did to my (Gert) immediate family.

Fact: in 1981 my husband and I were in the process of adopting my own birth son, the author recklessly interfered in our parental authority, called me an unfit mother, told me I was doing great harm to my son, told my children they did not have to obey me. I was forced to remove the author from my home and forbid any contact with my children. As part of the adoption process my husband and I were investigated by the courts and were found fit, for adoption. But in retaliation for being forbidden to see my children, the author called in a child abuse report, which was quickly dismissed because we had just completed a adoption investigation. Fact: On pg 301, the author states that she had called in the abuse in 1981.

Fact: In 1982 my husband and I moved our family to another city in part to remove my children from the negative influence of the author. My daughter had behavior problems and after our physical relocation she ran-away, Sept 1982, back to the city we moved from. Again, in retaliation to me, the author used that occasion to call a second child abuse against my husband and me this time claiming sexual abuse.

Fact: In a Family Court hearing I requested, and was granted, that my minor daughter be placed in protective custody of the county and she was placed in a foster home. I then had a hearing about the child abuse against husband and myself. In March 1984 the charges of child abuse and maltreatment was found to be untrue and all records were to be ‘expunged’ from the record. It was as if it never happened, until the author lyingly wrote about it in the book.

Fact: I have scanned the first and last pages of that document to show that the charges against me were false to begin with, were expunged and that this episode should not have been repeated, particularly in print, it is a slanderous lie and misrepresentation purely for malice and vindictiveness. See additional documents

Fact: I, Gert, moved from the same city where the author lived in Sept 1982 and did not speak nor see her again until 1992. I had no knowledge of anything she did, or said, I had no contact with any person with whom I spoke about the author…I divorced myself from the author…for her interference, her alienating my children from me and contributing to the destruction of my marriage and family unit.

Fact: In 1992, at a family gathering the author and I spoke, I attempted a reconciliation, thought that the author was doing the same, until, she used my religion as a means to continue spreading lies that my mental health was in danger because of my religion and other hateful things against me to other family members. I then continued on with my ‘divorce’ and have not seen the author since 1992. Sometime in 2006, when my father was ill, I had a short phone conversation with author to which, she said she loved me and wished me well, knowing full well she was lying and was publishing a book of lies.

Lie, slanderous: author states, pg 243, referring to child abuse calls the author was receiving that I, (Gert) ‘obviously retaliated against me since I was responsible for having her investigated through the same child abuse hotline. The only difference was that (Gert)’s phone calls were based on revenge, not concern. My intervention with my niece came after I pieced together evidence of sexual behavior that threatened her well-being.’

Fact: as I had just stated, I had no contact with the author during this time-period (1984), I didn’t even know that the author had a child! I did not call any abuse on to the author. This lie is a continued accusation against me for alleged sexual abuse, in this case against my own child that was found to be untrue and was expunged from the record!  It does show the fact that the author did indeed call in a false child abuse report upon me, Gert, in 1982, but here she lies about the actual truth of the circumstances.

Fact: pg 301, author states that she ‘reported fears to child protection authorities in 1981’. By the author’s own admission she called two false child abuse reports against me.

Lies, slanderous: chapter 27, pg 295-313, is a complete fabrication of the event.

Fact: it was a very brief family gathering, at a local park, with pleasant conversations, hugs, and a separate visit with author, myself and Ruth, at which time I shared with them my religious affiliations and activities. At no time did the author say anything negative to me about my religion, only to say that her husband had been part of SCA and she thought that was ‘my religion’; it is not. I thought and was lead to believe by the author, that perhaps a reconciliation could occur between us, as had occurred between myself and Ruth which ended the then 10 year silence and mistrust.

Fact: the next day, the author went to my father’s home, saying ‘Gert’s mental health must be in danger because there is something wrong with Gert’s religion’. (religious intolerance).  My father told her that he knew of my religion and my mental health, that the author was not welcome in his home if she continued to spread lies and cause trouble. The author continued to argue, my father threw her out of his home.

Fact: It was my father who told me about the confrontation that he had with the author, at his home and what the author said about me, (Gert). I have not seen the author since that event of July 1992 and I have had one short phone conversation, again pleasant, in 2006!

Lies, slanderous: pg 301, author states that I, Gert, ‘got pregnant at age 17, married the 16 year old father to get out of living in a foster home and dealing with our father and stepmother.’

Fact: I was out of the foster home, my step-mother had died and both myself and my husband were of legal age and married because we wanted to.

Lies, slanderous: pg 308 –313, author states that we sisters did harassing letters and phone calls.

Fact: I, Gert, did not write letters or make phone calls.

Lies: pg 316 – 318 pertain to events about getting personal properties of Kathy’s back from the author that the author did not do in a timely matter.

Fact: Under pressures, from family members, the author enlisted the help of Doctor Hoksbergen. My sister Kathy wrote a letter to Doctor Hoksbergen after she received a very intrusive and intimidating letter from him.

See my email that contains my assessment of Hoksbergen’s letter as well as letter the author wrote to my aged foster mother attempting to gain information from her.

Lies, slanderous: pg 310 author states that she had spoken with a Joe Soll, adoption specialist, who had received letters from the author’s sisters.

Fact: see my email with copy of an email exchange that I, Gert, had with Mr. Soll, who denies everything the author had stated on pg 310/311.

Lies, slanderous: pg309, the author states ‘my sisters would do anything to prevent me from publishing my life story, they ganged together to destroy my soul so I wouldn’t be a threat to them, this surely was sibling rivalry and jealousy at its best.’

Lies, slanderous: pg 314-318, the author states that we sisters made many harassing phones and she enlisted the help from the police and they had some sort of recordings of what was said and can make identifications. She has a police officer saying this about me, (Gert)… ‘this one in ‘P’…what’s her name, oh here it is I’ve got her right here, ‘I’ she says she’s gonna bring the entire House of Thor to bring evil upon you, honestly, I wish these two were in Buffalo, I’d fry them like hotcakes.’

Fact: I, Gert, never made phone calls, there is no proof from any police dept. or phone company.

Fact: The statement about me bringing a god (Thor) is an insult to one of my Gods! To state that I would ‘bring evil’ is beyond slander it is hate speech towards my religion and my religious practices. The author only knows SCA activities from her husband’s association with reenactments.

Fact: I, Gert, am a well-respected innovator of the reawakening of certain ancient folk religions. I am a lore-teacher and writer in my religion of Anglo-Saxon Theodish Belief. Some of my writings and activities can be seen on the web just by googling my name. I take great offense having my religion and my religious practices misjudged and discussed so disrespectfully.

Fact: The author has also been very vocal and disrespectful about my sister Ruth’s pagan religion and my sister Kathy’s Jewish religion. These things are reported on our refuting blog. (religious intolerance – hate language).

Lie: page 359 author states that in 1999 she wrote a letter to our brother and ‘a similar letter to my sisters, that whatever they had against me needed to be talked out, resolved, so we could be a family again.’

Fact: I (Gert) never received such a letter. I attempted in early 1982 mediation with the author but the author said ‘go to hell’. After the betrayal by the author in 1992 I wanted nothing to do with the author. I attempted another reconciliation by phone in 2006 only to be betrayed again, by author.

Lie: pg 359 author states ‘my sisters retaliated with yet more hate mail and vicious phone calls’

Fact: I (Gert) never did.

Again, I must state that, it is the opinions of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis, and Ruth Pace that our personal and family honor has been sullied and damaged by the publication of this book by Joan Wheeler. For honor sake we ask that Trafford Publication look at the content of the material in this book and remove it from your selling markets.

Thank you.

Blog postings of recent correspondences by Gert McQueen and Ruth Pace to several individuals to refute lies told by Joan M. Wheeler in her book Forbidden Family May 14, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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by Ruth Sippel Pace

Readers of this blog may notice the publication on this blog of correspondences that Gert and myself have had with some individuals. This is being done in the interest of full disclosure of what we have said and to whom. Because Gert and I are not liars.

BUT FIRST AN UPDATE, MAY 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…



We NOW continue with this post….

Contrary to what Joan Wheeler accuses us of we are NOT contacting various adoption reform agencies and professionals and calling her an asshole. Nor have we EVER told her to commit suicide. Not on this blog, not in any form of communication to her, through third-party contact, or even on the internet.

Therefore, we are making public any past correspondences we have sent to ANYone concerning Joan Wheeler and the book Forbidden Family, and their replies, if any. We did this back in September 2010, when we contact Mr. Joe Soll, who replied within a half hour of receiving an email from Gert concerning a 40 page letter that the Three Sippel Sisters supposedly wrote and sent to Joan in 1992, “kicking her out of the family.” Joan tells of this letter in her book. This is a complete fabrication, there was NEVER a 40 page letter written by us and sent to her. Joan expands her lie to say that we also sent copies of this letter to various adoption agencies. She then says in the book that she herself made a copy of it and sent it to Mr. Soll, and then had a phone conversation with him, discussing this letter.

In his return email to Gert, Mr. Soll denies any knowledge of this letter, and further says that what Joan writes about him in her book is “patently false.” – so much for her asserting that she is telling the truth in her book, when Mr. Joe Soll says emphatically that she lied about him.

The only time prior to 2010 that any adoption reform agency was ever contacted was ONCE in 1990, after Joan published a short story called “The Secret is Out” in a European adoption reform journal. In this article, Joan used our real names, without our permission or prior knowledge. ONE and ONLY complaint was ever made, and I believe it was one typewritten page!

Never in any correspondence that we have engaged in, have we EVER called Joan an asshole or any other name. As for her claims that we have urged her to commit suicide, nope – on the contrary, in our correspondences, we have urged those who know Joan to reason with her and to seek professional help! Just as we have done on this blog – we have urged Joan many times on this blog, as we had done in person in the past – to seek professional help and get some medication and to stop her anti-social behaviors.

Joan does not produce any proof that we have written to people and agencies and called her an asshole. The only name she produced was Joe Soll, and he disavowed any knowledge of her claim! She does not produce this “40 page letter” she claims we wrote. She does not copy and paste or give the url link to prove to people that we have urged her to commit suicide. She just runs her mouth, and gives no proof to her charges.

We, on the other hand, DO give the proof – the evidence – of all that we say and do. Whatever we say on any internet forum – we copy and paste what we have written, AND provided the url link to the site so that readers can double check that what we say on this blog, is the TRUTH!

We deal in truth. Joan deals with falsehoods. It’s just as plain and simple as that. 

addendum, May 15, 2011, 1:00pm

I have on file scanned copies of the complaint that was sent protesting the use of our true names in Joan Wheeler’s short story “The Secret is Out.” I shall be composing a blog post detailing this invasion of our privacy by Joan Wheeler in the year 1990, and will post the complaint about said use of our names in publication WITHOUT our knowledge or permission. And there is not ONE reference to Joan as an “asshole.”

In 1992, my sister Kathy Inglis, received a condescending letter from Joan’s friend, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen. this was due to Joan not shipping to England several boxes of personal belongings of Kathy, who had sent Joan money orders to cover the shipping costs. Joan refused to ship the belongings, and involved Dr. Hoksbergen in Kathy’s personal life, by lying to Dr. Hoksbergen that it would cost about $500.00 to ship over the belongings, and Joan did not have the money. (what happened to the money that Kathy sent – Joan used it for her own living expenses, because she was too lazy to get off her butt and get a job). My father eventually got involved, took a cab to Joan’s house to collect Kathy’s belongings and shipped them over to her to the final cost of $150.00. And Joan did NOT return all of the belongings. – missing are valuable Beatles collectibles. My father shipped over vinyl records, which as I said, cost him $150.00. Nowhere near the $500.00 Dr. Hoksbergen was led to believe it would cost.

Kathy wrote a letter to Dr. Hoksbergen, in essence, telling him to mind his own business. And she wrote a letter of complaint to Utrecht University because of his unprofessional manner in sticking his nose into our family business. Gert also sent off a letter to Dr. Hoksbergen, again telling him to mind his own business. And in these three missives, there is no mention of Joan Wheeler of being an asshole. And I have the scanned copies of these letters, and they will be posted to this blog as proof that we may have contacted “adoption reform professionals,” but with good reason, and we never used those letters to call Joan an asshole.

As stated above, we Sippel Sisters deal in the Truth, and provide proof of it with written documentation. Joan deals in falsehoods and offers no proof of anything that comes out of her mouth.

NOTE FROM GERT…May 9, 2016…what is said in this post…long before I had my own computer and internet access and was using Ruth’s blog…is the TRUTH. We don’t have to lie for we did NOT WRITE A BOOK against anyone. We have only ever DEFENDED OUR AND OUR FAMILY’S REPUTATIONS AGAINST THE SICK LIES OF JOAN M WHEELER

Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family has been pulled from publication part 2 – Joan thanks her birth sisters for exposing her lies. May 10, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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by Gert McQueen
On Joan Wheeler’s web site for Forbidden Family she wrote a Thank You on May 6, 2011. In her usual way of hiding new attacks upon blood family she placed it under a new ‘tab’ on the site…she believes herself to be clever.  

 She wrote this mocking thank you in response to finding out, on May 6, that Trafford Publications, who publishes her book, told her that there were some problems with the book, they were pulling the book, but she did have the ‘option’ of a rewrite. Besides Joan’s general stupidity two other things are very obvious with this ‘thank you’ of Joan’s.

 Number one, Joan really doesn’t have a CLUE as to what she was told about her book…that it was PULLED, that it will NOT be printed AGAIN, until or unless, there is a REWRITE. That means that after all current physical books are gone there will NOT BE ANY MORE PRINTED. Any inquiry to purchase the book, be it bookseller or individual, must go to Trafford to order the book, because they print it, but will find that it is NO LONGER AVAILABLE. How do I know? Because I’ve been talking to Trafford Publications for over 4 months!

 Number two; she has found herself a writing ‘coach’, for these 4 paragraphs are NOT fully Joan Wheeler’s words. How do I know? Because I have read and know Joan’s writing style and her choice of words, as they are written in her book and on various web sites, and they are not used in this smug ‘thank you’.

 As usual I quote Joan’s word, in italic, and then I answer. I may break up her paragraphs for easier commenting and understandings. 

 Joan said: Adoption is a controversial issue. As with any issue, there are more ways than one to view it. I have written a book which puts forth my personal experiences as an adoptee and while I speak from my own point of view, there are issues which other adoptees may have encountered.

 Gert says: The blood family’s objections are not with any issues of adoption. Any of our personal views and opinions on that ‘controversial’ issue has nothing to do with what we have against and with Joan Wheeler or her book. Joan cannot use and abuse relatives for the sake of telling HER story…without impunity…there are consequences; that is the blood family’s objections not adoption itself. We also object to Joan’s insistence on saying that we, the blood family, have suffered or are suffering because she was adopted! What utter garbage! That thought and belief is strictly a fabrication and figment of Joan’s mind due to her and only her upbringing and has no basis on truth or reality in relationship to the blood family! Joan has lived her life with adoption syndromes and has projected all that crap upon others to promote her agenda. She hasn’t a clue as to what kind of a person I am…why…because she hasn’t had any meaningful contact with me for over 30 years and the two contacts she did have she manipulated to suit her own purposes in the book! 

 So, our issues are with the way Joan Wheeler has portrayed us individually and collectively as a family, with gross dishonor, with the pure intent to magnify and sensationalize a tragic death of a mother and those that were left behind. We totally object to Joan’s ‘views’ of our lives and her attempts to capitalize on us for mere financial gains because she doesn’t work, never has worked and needs a source of income. Not on our backs!

 She says that she has told her experiences as an adoptee…no…she has put forth her ‘point of view’. That point of view is not the reality, from those that have suffered from her, over the years, and continuing on with the publication of this book. We the blood family NEVER gave her any permission to use our lives for her personal crusade against adoption. Our refuting blog’s purpose is to set forth the truth from Joan’s lies and gross misrepresentations. There is no one that will gain any insights to help them with their own struggles of adoption by believing what Joan Wheeler has written about HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES, for Joan is a mentally ill person! Buyer and reader beware!

 Joan said: I could not have written this book without the assistance, albeit unintentional, of my natural family. As it happened, I was found by siblings I did not know existed. It is due only to that that this book was made possible. The full-blooded sisters who found me have, through blogs which can only be described as hostile, have contributed enormously to bringing Forbidden Family to the attention of those who are interested in the different aspects of adoption and what happens when siblings are separated by adoption. For their assistance in doing so, I thank them.

 Gert says: Yes, indeed the natural family knew nothing about the fact that Joan was planning, for years, on using our lives for a smut filled book directly from her diseased mind where she ‘exposes them all’ (Joan’s words pg 452 of her book). That is why Joan could NEVER follow up with the many attempts, by various blood relatives, at reconciling with her over the years, for to do so, would mean that Joan’s book and her life story, as she knew it, could not be written or published.

 So what did the blood family get for ‘finding’ her? Nothing but pain and grief! And, she can’t even tell the story, here, truthfully! She says ‘the full-blooded sisters who found me have’…what happened to the full-blooded brother who was also there in the finding of her? Forget the fact that he is now dead but, like our father, had suffered at the hands of Joan and who distanced themselves from her years before their deaths. No, Joan only wants to go after the sisters because we are standing in the way of her fantasies, for every time she mentions the blood family we answer her!

 She also is lying here by saying that we have ‘blogs’, there is only one that is refuting her lies! Again, Joan is a liar for it is Joan herself that has two blogs where she very much attacks the blood family. We are hostile? Well depends on which side of the fence you happen to be on! From our side it is Joan who is hostile as in her second blog against us. Joan’s belief that we ‘have contributed enormously to bringing Forbidden Family to the attention of those who are interested in the different aspects of adoption and what happens when siblings are separated by adoption’ is yet another figment of her misguided understanding of how people are viewing her. If Joan is thinking of her fellow adoptees, well then, she is only one of many sick individuals that feed on each other’s sick lives. They are her fellow victims, they are only interested in browbeating the world into seeing their views and they deserve each other. On the other hand, I have seen for myself how sane thinking people view the angry words of people like Joan who is only kidding herself that she is helping her cause.

 What actually happens to siblings separated by adoption? I don’t really know and don’t give a damm. I know what I suffered, by the hands of a sibling that was placed in adoption and then reunited with us! My life before her was great! I was not suffering from lack of knowing her! The 8 years that she was in life… was total hell! My life after I divorced and banished her from my life was doubly great! I did not suffer from lack of her in my life ever! I am only NOW SUFFERING because she wrote a lying book about my life and family and has the gall to rub salt in old wounds that she caused in the first place. No, adoption separation is not the issue; the issue is Joan’s sick interference in the lives of others! Beware!

 Joan said: If you have read their blogs, you will find their views of my book, and of me, and will read their personal accounts of what it means for them to have found their long-lost baby sister. Yes, you will find their bitterness, jealously, resentment, accusations and allegations which they have made. You can then form an idea of the real, concrete issues surrounding adoption, particularly, my adoption and the detrimental effects that separating siblings has on all involved.

 Gert says: Here again, Joan is fantasying, she really believes she is the great savior for those in adoption trauma, what bullshit. I don’t dwell on what ‘it means to have found their long-lost baby sister’ for I know, first hand. Joan has this warp view that because we ‘lost’ her we are ‘damaged’…far from it! Joan has a theory and she has tried to make us fit into her theory, problem is, we don’t buy her theory and neither does anyone else that is sane and/or wants to keep a crazy person away from them. No thank you Joan…I have been very happy in my life since that day in 1981 when I told you to GET LOST. It is only since you published a book of lies in 2009 that I have even a thought of you and now you have my FULL ATTENTION, the attention that YOU WANTED all your life, but never had. Stop projecting your loses onto your sisters, we don’t give a damm about you. What point of Joan’s life are we jealous of? Got me! No thank you! I have my own life, always had my own life, like my own life and am not jealous of anyone. Again, Joan is showing the world her own lack of character!

 Joan said: Without the assistance of my full-blood sisters and their blogs, it is doubtful that Forbidden Family could have achieved the level of publicity it has. I recognize that, as with any controversial issue, there will be those who will take one side without examining the other and those who are willing to allow others to do their thinking for them. These people are not my audience I am speaking to those who have the insight to examine both sides of an issue, and only then draw whatever conclusions they chose.

 Gert says: There is a great deal of difference between publicity and sales. There is also the level in the kind of publicity one gets. Contrary to what Joan believes the publicity, of this book of lies, that has come from us sisters, is exactly what we have intended…to show the world how crazy Joan Wheeler is and how to counter such a individual if one, such as Joan, is in their lives. So, Miss Joan, once again you have misread what actual reality is! And again, Joan is showing us her faulty logic and double-speak to confuse the reader. READ DEEPLY here! She is clever with words…and she believes every word of her own propaganda.

 Joan said: My intention in writing this book was not to attack or impugn anyone, but merely to relate my personal experiences in the hope that it may be of benefit to others. Any discrepancy in names, or dates, are due to me trying to protect the anonymity of those involved (they themselves have gone public with their identities), but the incidents and circumstances are accurate.

 Gert says: Why does she feel the need to tell us, again, her intentions…of course it was to attack and impugn, the entire book is a raging attack on everyone and everything that favors adoption! Does Joan really believe that the world is full of fools and that they can’t see the details of a mentally ill person in the name of Joan Wheeler as she tells her life story?

 And here are more lies. It was Joan herself that made public our real identities, not once but several times. On Pg 634, footnote #15 of Forbidden Family she references her article The Secret is Out, written and published in 1990 where Joan published our full real names. We objected to that then and as Joan tells it, we harassed her. No! If she was not ‘outing’ the identities of us in the book Forbidden Family then WHY did she put in the reference to an article that identifies us and where anyone could find that information? And then why on the web page for Forbidden Family does she have our names? Why does she have a SECOND web page, with our names were she spreads more vicious lies and hate? Why does she go on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change and tell our names and whine and cry and ask for their help in beating us up?

 And the incidents and circumstances are NOT accurate, as Joan portrays them, that is why there is this refuting blog…to tell the truth.

 Further more Joan went out on the Internet and made public our identities…and here is the proof.

 from a google search:   

Personal Injury Law Questions – I am a disabled social worker on

Dec 19, 2009 Refuting Some of Joan Mary Wheeler’s Statements « Refutting There is another sister by the name of Gert McQueen who lives in Watertown,
www.justanswer.comPersonal Injury LawCached
 Customer Question

I am a disabled social worker on SSI; limited income. I just published a book that is memoir and social activism. I am an adoptee reunited with my natural family for 35 years. My three old sisters (ages 57, 61, 62) have been harassing me by various methods for over three decades, and so have adoptive relatives. They attacked me for: writing articles in the paper for adoptees’ civil rights to our sealed birth certificates and now, because I have published my book. I’ve had numerous Orders of Protection, but they keep bothering me. I want them to stay away from me forever. No contact at all. My sisters that I was reunited with have used hate mail, hate phone calls to invade my home and homelife. They’d die down for a few years, and then start up again. They even charged my then-80 year old adoptive mother with sex abuse, and me, because, according to the workers who showed up at the door, “I was having sex with my sister’s boyfriend on the living room couch and my mother forced the kids to watch.” We went through three months of court in 1997 to clear our names. Now, my sisters are publically humiliating me. They shut down my two former blogs because they do not want me to write a book about my life. Yes, I followed a lawyer’s advice on how to write a book. I am an adoption activist. They read my website, twist what I say, and then they post malicious and libelous material on their blogs naming me outright. I went to the police. No help. Freedom of Press. Really? What they are writing is turned away readership from my blog, which means, I have not only lost credibility, but business in not selling my book. How can I get them to cease and desist? Thank You, Joan Wheeler Buffalo, New York USA My website: http://forbiddenfamily.com My book’s sales link: http://www.trafford.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000137652 My sisters’ blogs to attack me: http://chayelet.wordpress.com/ — Kathy Inglis uses the name of Chayelet. This woman lives in Liverpool, England • ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/…/my-journal-of-joan-wheelers-abuse/ – Cached This woman lives in Buffalo, New York, several miles away from me. • Refuting Some of Joan Mary Wheeler’s Statements « Refutting There is another sister by the name of Gert McQueen who lives in Watertown, New York. How can I protect myself from them?

Submitted: 465 days and 17 hours ago.
Category: Personal Injury Law
Value: $15
Status: CLOSED
 Optional Information

State/Country relating to question: New York
Already Tried:
Police, no help, they said Freedom of Speech so my sisters can say anything online that they want to, even namimng me outright and maliciously defmaing me. I feel my personal and professional reputation has been ruined. I cannot afford to pay for a lwyer as my income in only$697 per month. But I could sell the book and write more books. Please look at those websites and tell me what I can do. Also, the one inn Liverpool states that I haev tried to deport her. I have no idea what she is talking about. I have not seen her since 1979 when I visited Liverpool, UK. We last spoke on the phone in 1988. The three sisters have written me a letter “throwing” me out of the family in 1992. I do not have contact with tham at all, but they find ways to harass me. Like getting my unlisted phone number from another relative and calling me. Now, it is cyber bullying and stalking and nalicious attacks upon me. Can I get them to pay me restitution for malicious defamtion of character and lying which drives people away frommy website?

 Accepted Answer
 You can stop your sisters and you can sell your books. You can sue them for harassment and intentional infliction of emotional distress. This way you could get monetary damages and an injunction to stop them from bullying you on their blogs. If they are preventing people from buying your book, you may also have a claim tortious interference with contract. You can also sue them for libel and slander, for lying about on their websites. You may also have another claim for tortious interference with contract because they froced you to shut down your websites. However, you will need a lawyer who can take this case to trial. There are personla injury lawyers who charge on a contingency fee basis. This way, they do not get paid unless you win. Call your local bar and ask for names of personal injury lawyers who specialize in these types of claims. Research these names. Go on www.marindale.com. Good luck and remember to press accept so that I may get credit.

Read more: Personal Injury Law Questions – I am a disabled social worker on SSI; limited income. I just – JustAnswer http://www.justanswer.com/personal-injury-law/2whab-disabled-social-worker-ssi-limited-income-just.html#ixzz1GoJRY46R

 And continuing on… what information does Trafford Publishing give to their potential authors…here are a couple of interesting points taken from their site.  (Ruth’s note: the sentances underlined below are the key points that Joan violated in her book and was the basis of the PUBLISHER’S decision to pull the book.- and what we have been saying on this blog since December 2009!)

 What is considered libel?

Libel has a variety of definitions throughout the United States depending on each state’s laws, but in general it is a written false defamation, or the publication of any statement that could cause damage to an individual or organization’s character or reputation.

 How can I protect myself against libel in publishing?
Although truth is in most cases a defense in a libel case, it is often difficult and lengthy (thus expensive) to prove in court. If your published book tells a true story about events that occurred, the first step to protect yourself is by changing the names of people or organizations in the book. However, simply changing a name from “Jim” to “David” is often not enough. If a person or others can recognize themselves from the situation, places or events even if their name is changed, you can still be sued for libel. Changing the location also helps to distance the story so that it is unrecognizable to real people. You can use a pen name to further distance any recognizable trail back to you or, most importantly, the real person, in order to avoid trouble.

For instance, imagine an individual reader knows you, the author in real life. If you make claims about your husband’s doctor, even if you change your husband’s name and the doctor’s name, but you keep your real name, it is pretty clear to someone involved who you are talking about in reality. By using a pen name and changing the name of people in the book, this will help to further remove the specifics and protect you against any libel claims.

Voicing an opinion is not libelous; however, be careful that you are not actually making an accusatory statement. Even if you say “in my opinion” before a statement, that does not automatically make the statement an opinion if you are speculating or asserting something about someone.

Do not make the following statements or claims, as they are clear grounds for a libel case: Falsely accusing someone of a crime, or having been charged, indicted or convicted of a crime; falsely identifying someone as the carrier of an infectious or loathsome disease; falsely charging someone or an organization with a claim that discredits or disqualifies a business, office or trade and lowers their profitability; and falsely accusing someone as being impotent.

Seriously consider if you are self-publishing a book that makes statements or reveals information that could damage someone, and consult a legal advisor if you are concerned.

Gert says: So there you have it, Joan in her self-importance deemed it a good thing for herself to use her real name and not take the advise of her publisher. She did not want to distance herself from those that she was writing about because she gave more than enough information in the pages of her book for ANYONE who knows the family to IDENTIFY the family and individuals and that is WHAT we sisters have been saying to the world…Joan Wheeler is a liar and her book is garbage and full of hate and disease.

 Joan said: It is my sincere hope that my sisters will continue to help publicize Forbidden Family as it is a must read for those interested in a thoughtful, in depth look at the issues surrounding this unnecessary closed adoption, and the possible ramifications on future families in reunion. And I would like to thank those who have read the book. I hope I have given them as much to think about as the satisfaction they have given me!

 Gert says: Rest assured Joan that we will indeed continue to show light on the book of lies that you wrote! If anyone is really willing to part with $45 to get anyone of the remaining copies of it, perhaps they ought to get you to sign it…for you are indeed a first class act…of stupidity! She is so full of herself to believe that her book is a ‘must read’ and that it is a ‘in depth look’ at the issues! Oh yes, she has given much for people to think about. Where are ALL those positive reviews of this great and wonderful book? There are only four that I have seen and I have debunked them all! So Joan, how about getting all those that you claim have benefited from this great and wonderful book to come forth and write something and put their names to it!

 What is your next act going to be Joan? You bombed with this one! A rewrite? Gosh to rewrite this book of over 600 pages, and take out all the stuff of your birth family will probably leave you with perhaps 200 pages! Better get busy and start that rewrite because this first book is DEAD!   

from Ruth – I shall be putting up my views on Gert’s post tomorrow – May 11, 2011, in the meantime, I have been authorized to post this comment from Kathy Inglis:

 I wasn’t going to comment, but, must say Thanks to Gert for enlightening me with regard to what Trafford consider as Libel. And all thanks to both Ruth and Gert for their tenacity in this matter.

 My one and only comment to Ms Wheeler is that she had better pray I never win the Lottery, because it is only lack of sufficient funds on my part that I have not taken legal action against her, apart from the fact that, even if I had funds, I’d use them for something more worthwhile. But you needn’t think you’re off the hook, sweatheart- that you will never be. Have a nice life, Joni Baby. Your FULL BLOOD SISTER KATHY.



Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters, Uncategorized.
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Readers of this blog and Joan’s website may be interested to know that:


Joan says on her website today, “thank you for the phenomenal publicity that we have given her.”

Roflmao! Another delusion from a person who needs to have psych medications!

Joan M. Wheeler has egg on her face – she has been EXPOSED as a LIAR and a CON-ARTIST!

The “phenomenal publicity” contained in this blog “Refuting the Book Forbidden Family” has always been to chronicle and PROVE with actual documents that Joan is a LIAR. Only an IMBECILE thanks the people who have brought attention to the fact that they are a LIAR!

There cannot be many actual copies of this book – She had to SELF-PUBLISH it, with the lowest package that the company offered – $800.00 – do the math people – the selling price of the book is $45.00 – it is offered on Amazon.com which gets about 40% of the monies. Trafford gets it’s cut – they have to make a profit – so figuring at least 75% going to Amazon and Trafford – that leaves $200.00  from her initial investment! Divide that up – I get about 4 and a half copies! We can account for 5 copies right off the bat. And having spoken on the phone with a representative from Trafford, we got this statement: “It is hardly a best-seller.” Roflmao! So who is Joan trying to fool? – Don’t be fooled by this con-artist – she’s a liar, she’s been exposed – she is dead in the water.

She may try to come up with a “new and improved” book, but rest assured, The Three Sippel Sisters will be right there to make dam sure she tells the truth.

So here is the email I sent to the publisher Trafford/Author Solutions over the weekend, and their response? THEY PULLED THE BOOK!

Now stop and ask yourself the question WHY? Why would the company pull the book just because I, Ruth, emailed them – BECAUSE THEY SEE THE PROOF THAT YOU DELUDED PEOPLE AND JOAN WON’T ADMIT TO: THAT JOAN M. WHEELER IS A LIAR! – Of course those people who see right through Joan’s lies are not delusional and know just what kind of nonsense, word-twisting, fact-twisting propaganda Joan is capable of. For Joan to try to justify her lies by saying she purposely mixed up dates and events to protect identities is BULLSHIT!

To lie about the length of an order of protection is protecting NO ONE! To stretch the actual time of six-months to one year does nothing to protect ANY one’s identity. To LIE about a non-event (a 3 month court battle and further LIE that “Brenda” accosted her children outside a court room was done to put her birth sister in a bad light and garner sympathy for herself UNDER FALSE PRETENSES). Don’t be fooled by her propaganda! She has said over and over that everything in her book was the TRUTH. Now, by saying she “mixed up dates and events” she is ADMITTING THAT SHE DID NOT PRESENT THE TRUTH. Like a true snake with a forked tongue, she is trying to cover her ass. DON’T BUY IT! Her own daughter says  “my mother is crafty at twisting words.”

I have said MANY times on this blog that Joan continuously mixes up dates and events and presents them in an untruthful manner. I have challenged her MANY times to come clean. I have said again and again that even when confronted by actual documents and her own handwritten letters to explain the discreencies, all she does is say she is telling the truth. For a year and a half this blog has been saying this over and over. For a year and a half she kept saying that – why all of a sudden is she changing her story? Because on Friday, May 6, she was told to do revisions of her book – and by posting her “thank you” on her website on Friday, she is COVERING HER LYING ASS! But after receiving an email from me on Monday morning (May 9,) the decision was made BY THE PUBLISHER that instead of a revision, the book Forbidden Family will be pulled in its entirety.

Her rationale of  lying was “Protecting identitys?” BALONEY! If she wrote ONLY the truth – the identity would still be protected – but what readers don’t know – is that in back in the early 1990’s she published a short article called “The Secret is Out” and used OUR TRUE NAMES! Anybody in the adoption reform field who read that article, then read the book Forbidden Family would already KNOW our names – because Joan had already published our names 20 years ago. So who is Joan kidding when she says that WE identified ourselves on this blog first – now SHE did. She did NOT protect our identities. Joan used her real name in the book. Sh used her real birth name Sippel and put MY family’s photo on the back – and it takes no genius in the City of Buffalo to recognize my father, a well-known employee at Buffalo City Hall, and many people knew about his giving his daughter for adoption – to put 2 and 2 together and identify me and others in the book.

She also puts in her book, my mother’s true name – and since MY name is in her obituary – published in 1956 – MY identity is right there. And smearing somebody’s reputation, whether you use their true name, or not is just simply the same thing – a smear campaign. Joan, you cannot weasel your way out of it – you are a LIAR! Plain and simple as that! LIAR!

Here then is my letter to the publisher:

May 6, 2011 –

Eugene Hopkins

Trafford, Author Solutions

Dear Mr. Hopkins,

I am the younger sister of Gert McQueen, with whom you have been in discussions with for the past few months over the book that your company published, “Forbidden Family” by Joan M. Wheeler.

I know that you had received our complaint about this book back on January 21, 2011. I also emailed you my co-complaint on this book. Included in my email, I attached several scanned official court documents pertaining to court cases between Ms. Wheeler and myself.

It is my understanding that recently you remarked to Gert that you were reluctant to get involved in a “family squabble.” Mr. Hopkins, Ms. Wheeler ceased to be a legal family member to us when she was adopted out of our family in 1957. Although we were reunited in 1974, I cut ties with her in 1990 after she stole hundreds of dollars from me. She further alienated herself to me in 1993 when she filed a false police report against me, over phone calls that I placed to her house, (in response to a letter she sent me). I called her house, and she said to me “hold on,” and hung up on me.  She then reported to the police that I was placing threatening calls to her. I was summoned into court and Ms. Wheeler was granted a six-month order of protection against me.

In her book, that your company published, she records this incident, but claims that I was placed under arrest (I was not.), that she was granted a one-year order of protection against me (it was for six-months), that I was placed on probation (I was not), and that I have a criminal record (I do not). 

I covered this and more in my emailed complaint to you and provided the actual court documents that prove that Ms. Wheeler lied, committing the crime of LIBEL in her book, that your company published.

In another part of her book, Ms. Wheeler describes a three month court battle between me and her in the year of 1994. This is completely false.

Also, on the back cover of the book, which your company published, is a family photograph that is of my parents, my siblings, and myself. Ms. Wheeler herself is NOT in the photograph at all – and the picture was taken BEFORE Ms. Wheeler was not even born, therefore, she wasn’t even a member of the family pictured on the back of her book. I have never given Ms. Wheeler permission, orally, or in writing, permission to use my photograph on her book. Also, since the photograph was taken sometime mid-1955, and Ms. Wheeler was born on January 7, 1956, and then 4 months later adopted out of the family, she does not OWN this photograph. She may “own” a paper copy of this photo, but since she was NOT a legal member of the family depicted in the photo, she does NOT have the legal right to publish it and gain monetary gain from it.

Whether you think of me and Ms. Wheeler as “family members” or not has no bearing on the basis of our complaint – that is being that Ms. Wheeler (and your company) has/have published my picture without my legal consent. In lying about a three month court case between us in 1994, and lying about the length of time the order of protection granted to her in 1993, Ms. Wheeler is presenting falsehoods about the City Court of the City of Buffalo. When Ms. Wheeler presents in her book that I was placed under arrest, she is presenting falsehoods about the Buffalo Police Department.

Further, may I ask you Mr. Hopkins, should a person be subjected to such slander and libel with no recourse, simply because they are related to the perpetrator? The issue of Ms. Wheeler being related to me and Gert is a NON-issue. Ms. Wheeler lied in her book. That is all that should concern you.

Gert tells me that several times in her conversations with you, you have told her that our complaint is in your legal department, and you have yet to hear back from your lawyers.

On your website is the Terms and Conditions for authors to agree to when submitting their work for publication. I cite the following items that Ms. Wheeler is in violation of YOUR own Terms and Conditions.


2.1. You represent that (i) you are the sole copyright owner of the Work and all of its content.

   Ms. Wheeler is in violation of this because she has MY likeness on the back of her book, WITHOUT my consent.

2.4. You further represent that the Work does not contain illegal, unlawful or objectionable material including, but not limited to, pornography, obscenity or hate speech. You acknowledge that the Work is not plagiarized and does not include

falsely attributed statements of third parties.

.    Ms. Wheeler is in violation of the second sentence, because as I pointed out above, she has lied about actual court proceedings between her and me.

I further cite YOUR Terms and Conditions as presented to authors on your website:


7.1. Suspension of Services. Upon a breach, default, or failure by you to comply with these Terms and Conditions or the failure to cooperate with us in the provision of any Services, we will have the right to suspend any or all performance until you cooperate with these Terms and Conditions and/or cooperate with us in the provision of Services.

Since I have just pointed out that Ms. Wheeler IS in violation of 2.1 and 2.4 of YOUR Terms and Conditions as presented on your website, Mr. Hopkins, you have NO choice, but to pull the book Forbidden Family off the market, your website, and your advertisement of it on Amazon.com. I don’t understand why your lawyers cannot come up with a timely interpretation of your own terms and conditions, the definition of the term libel, and the application of the term libel to Ms. Wheeler’s statements of me in her book that you published.

On page 670 of the Tenth Edition (1994) of the Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary are the following definitions of the term LIBEL:

–          A written or oral defamatory statement or representation that conveys an unjustly unfavorable impression.

–          A statement or representation published without just cause and tending to expose another to public contempt.

–          Defamation of a person by written or representable means

–          The act, tort, or crime of publishing such a libel

I believe that all four definitions cover what Ms. Wheeler has done in her book. By falsely reporting in her book that I have an arrest record, she is conveying a unjustly unfavorable impression.

You have stated to Mrs. McQueen that you do not want to be in the middle of a “family squabble.” This is no “family squabble.” It is accurate accusation of libel and a justifiable demand for the pulling of this book.

I expect to be hearing shortly on your decision to do a right and lawful action: the pulling of this libelous book.

Thank you for your help in this matter.

Very sincerely yours,

Mrs. Ruth Pace

cc: Kevin Weiss; Kevin A. Gray; Gert McQueen

Legal Notice to Joan M. Wheeler Part 3 by Gertrude McQueen, first born of Leonard Sippel January 17, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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Face the facts Joan Wheeler you don’t belong to us! The blame is all on you!  You had it, but you blew it, with your crazy crap! No friend of Joan Wheeler’s is a friend of me and mine!

UPDATE OCTOBER 2016; as older posts are being seen I, Gert, am updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!


this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.


to continue on…

By Gert McQueen, first born child of Leonard Sippel. 

I wish the entire the world to know, in particular, the families of my parents, Leonard Sippel and Genevieve Herr and all my brothers and sisters of the families of my father’s current widow, my stepmother, to know, that Joan Wheeler is no relative of me and mine. She is a disgrace! Her male friend, Russ Thomas of Wilson NY has stepped into territories that are called harassments; hate speech, desecration of a family’s funeral item, and character assassination of several members, both living and dead, of an entire family. I hope that everyone who is related to or knows of our families, make it known to Joan Wheeler just how evil, her and her male friend’s, behaviors are. 

Joan Wheeler is not a legal daughter of my father, Leonard Sippel, who died January 11, 2011. Period, end of story, fact of life, nothing else can and will change that fact. 

After very tragic life circumstances that led to my father having to place a child into adoption that child was then reunited with birth father and family. That was a grave mistake…she, Joan, should never have been contacted and united but, fact of life, she was, and we all have been dealing with the aftermath ever since. That being said, my father did indeed recognize Joan Wheeler as the child he placed into adoption, but, fact remained that Joan was NOT his legal child, she was LEGALLY a child of the Edward and Dorothy Wheeler. Dad did indeed, with joy in his heart, accept Joan in reunion and tried over many many years to be a Dad to her, but Joan continued to cause much trouble over the years and Dad had to remove Joan from his home and presence often. 

Facts that Joan Wheeler refuses to accept are these:
She is not a legal member of the Sippel family. She is not welcomed nor wanted by any member of the Sippel family and all our descendents. She wrote and published a hateful book of lies about every member of birth and adoptive families. She has been told to stay away and she doesn’t. 

For historical continuity the following are facts that are not generally known but are indeed facts related to the change in my father’s relationship with Joan Wheeler. 

In April 2008 my father told me that every one of his children would be getting an inheritance, including Joan, to which I said fine, great, not a problem. My father had all his affairs in order. I and other children were given copies of certain paper work dated 2006. 

In 2009, before Joan’s hateful book of lies was published, she had a couple of episodes with my father, one over the content of the draft manuscript and her lack of money to have it printed. Dad sent her back to the Wheelers to get the needed money saying he wasn’t interested in the book. Why would he give her money to publish a book of lies? To other family members he said, of the book, that it was ‘garbage’, Joan is mentally ill and will never be satisfied with it. 

Another episode in 2009 was over money for gas in Joan’s car when she took Dad to doctor appointments, which she volunteered to do, and for money for car repairs to Joan’s car. The ways in which Joan spoke to Dad about this money was insulting to him. Dad told her that the car was her responsibility not his and that he didn’t need her help any more if she was demanding money from him to fix her car. She writes about this, of course with her own spin, in the book of lies.

The final episode of 2009 was when Joan insulted Dad about his ancestry and religion. Joan writes about these things in the book of garbage and on page 559 states ‘Dad yelled at me…kicked me out of his house again…so be it, that is the last time, I am done.’ Remember this… ‘I (she) am done’. This episode and her statements were around Feb of 2009 as she states in the book.  

In 2009 my father told me about all these episodes saying that he told Joan that ‘it is best that they don’t see each, that Joan should stay away and call only’. My father did not mention Joan to me during the rest of 2009 and all of 2010 and I never mentioned her name to him. 

Joan published the book of lies in November 2009. When Ruth first obtained a copy of it she went to Dad, he told Ruth, put it in the garbage because it is garbage and Joan is mentally ill. It would be my guess, for I have no real knowledge of when my father did it, yet, when he found out that she published the book, Dad REMOVED Joan as his child. I got a copy of Joan’s book in January 2010. I never mentioned it to Dad and he never mentioned it to me. I, Ruth and Kathy have been refuting and condemning the book since January 2010. We never spoke to Dad about it. 

In a visit of August 2010 my Dad told me that he was ready to leave this world when his time was up. I spoke with my Dad frequently during 2010 and Joan and the book were never mentioned. When asked by my sister Ruth, in November of 2010, if Joan would be at a family event, Dad said ‘no, I’m done with her’.  (ruth’s note, he also told me “I don’t want to see her.”)

Dad received, sometime before Christmas of 2010, a blank ‘diary’, with, if I recall correctly, a publication date of 2009.  I saw this book the day we buried him, Jan 15th. This diary is a ‘memory’ diary for elders to record various things such as parents’ names and family histories and childhood memories and favorite things and children’s names and so many important things so people will remember them later on. Everything written in this diary was in Dad’s handwriting. Under the ‘list of children’ there is NO WRITTEN MENTION of Joan Wheeler! In a blank diary book published in 2009 that he received and wrote in, in 2010, he DOES NOT LIST Joan Wheeler as his child! 

When my father died, January 11, 2011, the pre-paid funeral papers, which I had a copy of, dated 2006, does have Joan listed as secondary family contact and in the obit that my father wrote himself. But, the funeral home director had received an UP DATED changed paper that REMOVED Joan from the contact and the obit! Dad REMOVED Joan and it was done sometime in 2009! 

Furthermore, these are also the facts of recent events, done by Joan Wheeler and her male friend Russ Thomas of Wilson NY to our family.

On Jan 4, 2011, Joan Wheeler, presumably because her adoptive mother had ‘taken a turn for the worst’ went unannounced to the home of my father and stepmother, who are elderly. I know of Joan’s adopted mother’s conditions because Joan discussed them in a public forum. Joan’s reasons for going to my father’s home were to ‘make peace’ with Dad. I have written about this in a blog entry around Jan 6th. What I didn’t know at that time was that Joan brought with her, her new boy friend, a stranger, into the home of my elderly parents without asking for permission! She took this stranger with her when she then went to the hospital to see my father, against his wishes that she not come around him. The fact that Joan had a large male stranger with her while she calls on two fragile elders is an intimidating factor. As stated before, the condition of Joan’s adoptive mother has nothing to do with my father and wanting to ‘make peace’ with Dad is Joan’s problem, not my father’s and stepmother’s! As stated in my blog entry around Jan 6th, it was confirmed to me that no one in the family wanted Joan around, that was my reason for my blog entry of Jan 6th to tell Joan to stay away. 

During phone calls that Joan made to my stepmother Joan had given her phone number where she could be reached, it was thrown in the garbage. Joan had spoken to a stepsister on the phone saying that ‘she had a good visit with Dad and Mom and could I speak to her’. When asked if she wanted to speak with Joan my stepmother said no! No one wanted to hear from or speak with Joan. I myself heard a phone message that Joan left on my father’s home phone around Jan 6th and she said that she ‘will keep calling till she finds out what is going on with my father’.  (ruth’s note: admission of intent to harass. She had been told “don’t contact us” yet she says she WILL keep calling.)
My stepmother had not been living at home since Joan ‘stopped by’ on Jan 4th; for the family made sure that Joan could not reach her.

On Jan 11, 2011 my father died. Earlier that day I placed a call to his hospital room and was told that he was moved and was given the main number of the hospital. Before I could replace a call to him, I received the call that he had died. I had several phone calls during the 11th and 12th with family members related to events that had to taken care of. Joan had called the hospital room twice after my father died. (ruth’s note: my stepsister answered the phone the first time, I answered it the second time. Joan was told 1. “sorry, you just missed him. 2. “he is not available.” at both times, there were 8 family members in the room, and  in unison, all 8 family members agreed to this.)
The entire family agreed that Joan was not to be allowed in the presence of our father and stepmother, at the hospital, the funeral calling hours and the church service. When Joan finally managed to speak with a stepsister and ask ‘what is going on with my father’ she was told that he died, Joan said ‘it would have been nice if someone told me’. No, Joan had no right to be told, for Joan was NOT his legal daughter. 

When the arrangements were made with the funeral home, it was discovered that Dad made the changes that removed Joan from the family and the obit announcement. A decision then was made to call Joan but my father’s wife had thrown Joan’s phone number, that she was given, by Joan, in the garbage and someone had to ‘fish it out of the garbage’ to make a call. A call was placed to Joan by a brother-in-law, as spokesman of the family, telling Joan that she had a 4:30 pm calling time, at the funeral home, on Jan 14th . She was not to come at any other time, or at the church service on Jan 15th. If she did come outside of the 4:30 time period, when no family would be there, Joan would be physical escorted out! 

At the funeral calling hours, at 4pm, as we all were leaving the room and building, I happened to see a young woman approach through the doorway. As she came towards me I saw, a familiar face, a family face and said to her, ‘I see a face from the past but I’m sorry I don’t know your name’. She said her name was ‘Cathy’ and I gave a puzzled looked at her. The woman asked me my name. I said, ‘I’m Gert’ and then the woman did an impression of Joan, for the woman was Joan’s daughter and said ‘I’ve always wondered about this moment of meeting you’. I said, ‘I know now who you are’ and instinctively we hugged and I gave her a kiss on the cheek as she said to me ‘I came for grandpa’ and I said ‘and you should and you go there now’ and I pointed to Dad and I left the room. The last time I saw Cathy was in 1992. It needs to be mentioned that Dad did indeed recognized his grandchildren Dennis and Catherine. 

When we returned to the calling hours at 7pm I had looked at the register book and noticed the signatures of Cathy Wheeler-Bell, Joan’s daughter, Joan Wheeler (Doris Sippel), as she wrote it, and the signature of Russell Thomas of Wilson NY, current boy friend of Joan’s. I then looked back at other pages and saw on the bottom of the previous page, where the above signatures were, a hate statement against my father with the names of all the brothers of my mother and their last name. This is an act of hateful desecration of my father and my mother and the rest of our families.  I called Ruth over to see it. We were shocked and instantly knew that Joan was behind it. Other family members were made aware of the hate statement. The next day, Jan 15, we had the church service and the burial. 

By the late afternoon after we buried our Dad, I found out that Russell Thomas had left another hate message on our blog. His comments automatically go to the spam folder but Ruth and Kathy were able to read it. I believe that Ruth has posed the entire message, but for here, in it Russ addresses the Three Sippel Sisters, as Joan calls us, and informs us that he was with Joan on Jan 4th etc and he informs us that Dad accepted Joan’s apology. First off, what makes a stranger to the family think he has any right to tell us he ‘witnessed’ our father’s acceptance of Joan’s apology? This stranger’s words mean nothing to us; he is a harasser. And So!! What’s that proof of, nothing! That message is an attempt to assert that, Joan is a legal accepted daughter, when in fact, she is not. Russ Thomas is doing what he is good at…harassing with hate filled messages. Russ Thomas of Wilson NY has been leaving hate messages for months on our blog for the benefit of Joan and has identified himself by signing his name and giving his place of residence in the register book at my father’s wake! 

It was late on the night of Jan 15th, after my father’s burial, that I, Kathy and Ruth had gotten direct information, from a witness who was at the calling hours when Joan, her daughter and Russ Thomas were there. The witness saw and heard Joan complaint loudly to a funeral home attendant that there was a mistake in the obit that she Joan Wheeler was the daughter and should have been in the obit. The witness also stated that she was behind the man that came in with Joan Wheeler, at the register book stand and saw him, after he signed his name, turn the page over to the previous page and write the statement without pause as if from memory and return the page back to where he and Joan had signed. When the witness went up to the book to write her name, she turned the page back and saw what he had written. 

Now as if this weren’t enough, we find that on Jan 16th, Joan Wheeler had published in the Buffalo News a new obit declaring her self to be the loved daughter of my father! What kind of fool is that? She doesn’t see that by doing that she showed the world just what she is ABOUT; a crazy person who doesn’t know or get it that her father disowned her and that she wants to assert her parentage so she can be in line for the inheritance! And of course if she is not in this man’s obit, how does that jive with what she states in her ‘true’ book? 

As I have said above: on page 559 in Joan’s book of garbage she states that in 2009 ‘Dad yelled at me…kicked me out of his house again…so be it, that is the last time, I am done.’ So, if she was done in 2009 why is she writing, in 2011, a obit declaring herself to be a daughter to a man who had already written his own obit, who removed her from it, who was dead and buried? Why? Because Joan thought she was in, in the family, in the heritance! She thought that if she could ‘make peace’ with Dad, get him to accept her apology etc, that everything would be alright and those nasty Three Sippel Sisters would go away. No, it is not about us sisters, it’s about, the entire family and the fact that when Joan Wheeler published a book of lies and hate, her birth father disowned her, just as the rest of the family had already done. Dad just didn’t tell anyone. 


Blame yourself Joan, not only have the three Sippel Sisters been refuting your book of lies, your birth father, removed you from all inheritances that you would have received, if you did not publish a book of lies! Joan herself has named myself, and my two sisters, Ruth and Kathy, the Three Sippel Sisters labeling us harassers and stalkers. Doing this not only sullied our and our family names but also proves that Joan herself DOES NOT consider herself a Sippel. If that is the case then why should she NOW be insistent on being known as the daughter of my deceased father? Because she can’t accept the fact that she has LOST everything! Too bad, Joan, you have been OUT a long time ago and nothing will get you back in. Now GET LOST!

Legal Notice to Joan M. Wheeler – Part 2 January 17, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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Legal Notice to Joan M. Wheeler – part 2
January 17, 2011  – 7:30am by Ruth Sippel Pace

First and foremost – if any comments are placed on your website, they are not and will not be from any or all of the Three Sippel Sisters. If any comments are placed and signed with the name of Ruth Sippel Pace, Kathy Inglis or Gertrude McQueen, they are not from us. If any email address is attributed to these named persons, then someone has fraudulently opened an email address using or name(s) WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION. If you, Joan Wheeler have any complaint about any person leaving comments on your website, then by all means, excercise your right to call a law enforcement entity and have the IP address and email address investigated. Just because you voluntarily adjusted your website’s security and privacy settings, doesn’t mean that these things cannot be traced. Don’t whine and complain, make a formal charge. Put up or shut up. And Joan – when it has been found that it was YOU and YOUR BOYFRIEND impersonating me or my sisters – it will be YOU and Russell D. Thomas up on identity theft charges – so you better think twice before you start something you can’t finish. Every keystroke can be tracked – every email and every IP and computer signature code can be traced.

Second, as long as MY name is mentioned on a website, I claim the right to visit that website. It is MY legal name, not yours Joan, and I claim the right to see and read and know what is being said about me and my name. If you have any objection to me reading your website, then remove my name from your website. And this goes for my other sisters. Is your website not for the purpose of adoption reform? As I have no interest or contribution to this topic, WHY IS MY NAME ON A WEBSITE DEVOTED FOR ADOPTION REFORM? This also applies to my sisters.

Third, if your readers want a “bloodbath” that is not my concern. That is between you and your readers.

Fourth, re: your warning to me and my sisters to “stay away from you.” Excuse me, I am not near you. Don’t want to be near you. Nor do my sisters.

Fifth, if your mother is dying, that does not concern me. Nor does it concern my sisters.

Sixth, when you yell “my mother is dying, for god’s sake, leave me alone.”
Please state exactly what you think we did to bother you. Again, we have not called you, nor have come to your house, or gone to any health care facility that your mother is at. Nor have we written any letters to you. And I wouldn’t invoke god’s name if I were you.

Seventh, do you mean leave YOU alone, like YOU harassed US the other day when OUR father lay in his casket and you permitted your sleaze boyfriend to desecrate our father’s guest book and sign it with the names of four dead men and one man who was hundreds of miles away when his name was forged by your sleaze boyfriend? Won’t the police be interested in hearing about that!

I really think you need to get on some medication.

What is demanded from Joan Wheeler – the purpose of this blog. November 2, 2010

Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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The Three Sippel Sisters, having read the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler, have discovered many many falsehoods, lies, misrepresentations, and false accusations of us, our family members, our family situation, and even some of our friends. Ms. Wheeler has also been on her website and various places on the internet spreading these same lies and accusations.

The purpose of this blog is to refute and debunk Ms. Wheeler’s statements that she puts forth in her book and on the internet. We also will discuss Ms. Wheeler’s behavior in real life, because it is detrimental to us and our family.

The Three Sippel Sisters demand the following:

1. Public apology and retraction from Joan Wheeler for the following:

  1. Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.
  2. Falsely accusing Ruth of having a criminal record and being placed on probation.
  3. Falsely accusing Ruth of calling child abuse on Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. In the book, she lists it as happening in 1993, on the internet in May and September 2010, she lists it as 1996. – (only a liar can’t keep dates straight – I have scanned and posted an actual letter sent by Joan dated December 1994 to New York State Child Abuse authorities and in it she states the call was made Dec. 1994. Why are there 3 different years listed by Joan in this letter, in her book, and on the internet?
  4. Falsely asserting that there was a 3 month court battle in the spring of 1994 over this child abuse call. (which according to her letter didn’t occur until months later, and on the internet, years later). There was never a 3 month court battle between Joan and Ruth. and again, why does she keep mixing up the date of the call? Perhaps because she keeps lying about it.
  5. Falsely accusing Ruth of hacking into computers where Ruth works and tampering with Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill in late 1994.
  6. For six months of almost daily phone calls placed to Ruth’s place of employment for the purpose of Ruth losing her job. This was AFTER Ruth’s employer’s investigated Joan’s complaint in the fall of 1994, determined that Ruth was innocent, informed Joan of this, yet Joan continued into the spring of 1995 with calling various departments in the hospital and falsely informing them that Ruth did tamper with her bill.
  7. Falsely asserting that Ms. Wheeler has had “multiple orders of protection” against the 3 Sippel Sisters.
  8. Falsely asserting that the one and only Order of Protection Ms. Wheeler ever received (against Ruth) was for one year, when in reality it was for 6 months.
  9. Falsely asserting that the 3 Sippel Sisters repeatedly interfere with Ms. Wheeler’s life and harass her.
  10. For using our picture on the back cover of her book without our permission. The book is used for monetary gain, therefore, Ms. Wheeler is making money from our likeness.
  11. For writing letters to Anthony J. Masiello, when he was mayor of the city of Buffalo and other elected officials, giving them personal and private details of Ruth’s life, thereby invading Ruth’s privacy.
  12. For stealing Kathy’s money and belongings in 1993.
  13. For stealing Ruth’s money in 1990 and the bead trim off the wedding dress of our mother, which was Ruth’s property.
  14. An apology and explanation that Ms. Wheeler lied to Professor Rene Hoksbergen, and asked him to interfere with Kathy’s life in 1993, thereby invading Kathy’s privacy.
  15. For all lies and misrepresentations that are contained in the book and on her website.

2. Joan WILL comply with the following:

  1. The complete pulling of the book Forbidden Family off the market.
  2.  Full return of Kathy’s money and belongings that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1993.
  3. Full return of Ruth’s money that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1990
  4. The cessation of posting any more about her sisters ANYwhere on the internet, except when discussing her adoption and she is to limit her discussion of her sisters to say that she has 3 older birth sisters, one who first made the contact with her, and due to personality conflicts, any reunion between Joan and her 3 birth sisters has been terminated.

3. Ms. Wheeler will cease her public statements that:

  1. Our father was coerced into relinquishing her for adoption. It has always been his assertion that he was NOT coerced.
  2.  The 3 Sippel Sisters are “trashing” her on the internet via “multiple” adoption reform sites.

4. We Three Sippel Sisters further demand a public apology from Professor Rene Hoksbergen for his interference with Kathy in 1993, and his recent “professional” review of the book Forbidden Family, wherein, he is guilty of spreading a false allegation of sexual abuse by the person of Gertrude McQueen. Professor Hoksbergen did not check any “facts” that Joan Wheeler alleges, and therefore he is guilty also of damaging the reputation of Mrs. McQueen, and the other two Sippel Sisters.

Unless and until ALL these listed items are complied with by Joan Wheeler, (and Professor Hoksbergen), this blog will remain an active blog with every printed lie, misrepresentation, or misdeed of Joan Wheeler’s, either in the book, or on the internet, or real life, WILL be refuted and the truth WILL be documented.  Further, any future lies, falsehoods, misrepresentations, and further invasion of the privacy of The Three Sippel Sisters, their families and friends, will result in the continuation of this blog.

ALSO: Ruth hereby demands that Joan Wheeler’s ex-husband Colby Allen Bell repay every penny of the money he stole from her in 1990. – $490.00. He withdrew $500.00 from the joint checking account that Ruth had with them to purchase real estate (with her permission) to purchase a case of fireworks. Colby was supposed to replace that money when the fireworks were sold. He did not. He repaid Ruth only $10.00.

Further, in 1991, 3 ATM withdrawals were made totalling $400.00 from Joan and Colby’s checking account, causing their rent check to bounce. Joan and Colby accused Ruth of doing it. The following year, Colby was caught on a student video, admitting that it was HE who withdrew the money to support his  habit of frequenting strip joints.

Ruth demands a formal and public apology from Colby from his theft of her money and a formal and public apology  from both Joan and Colby concerning the accusation that she illegally made ATM withdrawals, which could have resulted with a criminal investigation of her by the bank and law enforcement. This could have damaged her reputation irreparably.

Again, until ALL demands here listed are FULLY met, this blog will remain active and the public shall know just what kind of persons Joan Wheeler and her ex-husband are.

Open letter to Professor Rene Hoksbergen and rebuttal of his “professional” review of Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler October 14, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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Joan M Wheeler has published a new ‘revision’ of the same old hate manifesto and renamed it ‘Duped by Adoption’. I have created a new blog and Facebook page…

Here are the links to my NEW blog and Facebook page



On Amazon, I have reviewed 7 reviews of this ‘new’ garbage book and created a ‘discussion’ on the Forward, by Rene Hoksbergen.

Here’s the link to the DISCUSSION about the FORWARD on Amazon


Here’s the link to a recent blog post Nov 3, 2015 about the contents of the forward


Here are the related links to blog posts that Ruth and I have already written and addressed topics related to Rene Hoksbergen, the author of the Forward.


https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/gert-mcqueens-review-of-rene-hoksbergens-review-of-forbidden-family-by-joan-wheeler/     this one is about the review in LAVAContact2  2010 English translation






continuing on with this POST…

The following was emailed to Professor Rene Hoksbergen on 14 October 2010. Dr. Hoksbergen is professor of adoption studies at Utrecht University in Utrecht, Holland and wrote the foreward to the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler. In 1993, at Joan Wheeler’s behest, Dr. Hoksbergen involved himself  in our family  in an unprofessional manner, by writing a letter to Kathy Inglis in England. Joan lied to Dr. Hoksbergen and manipulated him into writing to Kathy. Apparently Dr. Hoksbergen, despite a formal complaint having been made to Utrecht University in 1993 over his invasion of Kathy’s privacy, continues his unprofessional behavior. We Three Sippel Sisters protest this man, a stranger to us, and his continual prying into our personal lives.

Doctor R. Hoksbergen                                       

I am Gert McQueen, birth sister of Joan Wheeler, author of the book Forbidden Family, of which you wrote the Foreword in August 2006 and a Review in 2010, month not indicated.

I have had the book since February 2010 and have been reading and writing about this book of lies since then. The first time I saw, in English translation, your review of this book was the first week of October 2010 and Doctor I must say that I am appalled!

Myself and two other birth sisters have a web blog wherein we are refuting this book of lies. The blog is called refuting a book of lies and may be reached at https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com I urge you to really read our blog very carefully to understand how we, the birth family, have been used and abused by Joan, not the other way around.

One reason, for writing to you, is to call your professionalism into question. Doctor, you have never met me, never spoke with me, never wrote to me, never checked facts about me or my family, and yet, you have the audacity to assume and then assert that what Joan Wheeler told you was truth! Doctor you are wrong! Joan is wrong!

Another reason for my writing is to address the various character assassinations, to which you give credence to, via the lies of Joan’s, in particular that of sexual abuse by of one Joan’s sisters, me, to her. The truth, Doctor, was that it never happened! Joan made up the story to cover up the fact that she herself initiated a three-way sexual encounter with my husband and myself! That story, of course, is NOT in the book because she lies and blames everyone else for her own misdeeds!

There is no way to explain to you in a short letter the amount of lies, fabrications and harm that Joan has done, in real life and in this book, to others as she covers up her own dirty deeds. The very reason that she ‘insists’ that I sexually abused her and her assertion that I abused my daughter was to ‘get back’ at my husband and me because we didn’t want to continue the sexual experiment that Joan wanted.

We had been forced to take many steps to remove Joan from interfering with my minor children! Beginning when Joan interfered with my and my husband’s ADOPTION of my own birth child! Joan was very militant and angry that we were ADOPTING, accusing me of being unfit! When she was told we didn’t want her opinions she then interfered with our parental authority, going behind my back to instill in my minor children that they did not need to obey the family’s core values that we set for our family. Joan went so far as to lie to police and family about the whereabouts of my minor child during a runaway episode. She then charged me with child abuse and filed for custody of my children. I was forced to put my child into foster care, for her own safety and to keep her away from Joan, while we fought the charges that Joan filed against us. My husband and I were proved innocent of all charges that were asserted by Joan. I have court documents to prove that statement. I moved my family far away from Joan. All this was in 1981/82! But you Doctor did not check the facts but instead gave credibility to Joan’s lies…stating so in your review!

Joan manipulated you into writing to my sister Kathy, who lives in England, in the 1990s. That episode of Joan’s was over money that was already paid to Joan for services she never did for Kathy. Joan blames everything and everyone for her own inabilities and in this case Joan was also guilty of stealing! But, you Doctor, on behalf of Joan, wrote a very intimidating and condescending letter to my sister, who was blameless and the victim of Joan’s and then was victimized again by you!  You did not check the facts!  (Ruth’s note: please see the post Joan Wheeler LIES about Dr. Rene Hoksbergen in her book Forbidden Family  to see actual scanned and posted documents: Dr. Hoksbergen’s letter to Kathy, where he says it would cost around $500.00 for Joan to ship things to her in the UK; a letter from Joan acknowledging that she had already recieved monies to do the shipping; AND the actual invoices from my father totaling around $150.00 that my father paid out of HIS pocket to ship the items, this AFTER Joan received the money from Kathy, then never repaid. This was clearly an extortion attempt by Joan Wheeler, and she used her “dear” friend to try to extort money from Kathy).

In Joan’s book, she has a total fabrication of lies about your meeting my sister Ruth, her husband and other members of my family in the 1990s. You, Doctor, were never in Ruth’s home, never met her husband and never had the conversations that Joan’s asserts that you did have! Did you really meet my father as Joan states? Did you check your facts before you wrote the review of this book? You really ought to read chapter 25, very enlightening! Joan portrays you as being ‘a very dear friend’, how dear Doctor?

Joan also lies and fabricates in the book about Joe Soll, whom I have already contacted about those lies. Mr. Soll says that what is in the book, about him, is ‘patently false’. (Ruth’s note: see the post: HIGH ALERT EVIDENCE of Joan Wheeler’s lies FROM A PERSON IN AN ADOPTION REFORM ORGANIZATION   to see the email exchange between Gert McQueen and Mr. Soll).  My sisters and I have already written about these episodes of lies and fabrications on our web blog; we encourage you to read them. To narrow down the search for you, in the following dates you are mentioned on our blog, Jan 7, March 27, June 28 and Sept 23. We are of course not completed with our review, refuting and rebuttals of this book of lies!

When did you, Doctor, last read the manuscript? Did you read it before or after the 2006 date of the foreword? Joan had updated and revised much in the manuscript since then, even noting so on page 410 dated March 2008. And on page 416 she states she was 53. She was 53 in 2009 the year the book was published! For you to assume the correction of facts in the book, without interviewing family members, is a gross misuse of your position in the world of Adoption Reform!

Our father saw a revision about 2008 and said that it was a ‘piece of garbage and she will never finish it’. Joan is still revising it, on her web site! Shortly after seeing the 2008 revision, my father was forced, again, to remove Joan from his presence because of her intense manipulation and confrontations towards him. 

What Joan has done, and with your approval Doctor, is to have taken a very tragic family situation, the death of a mother and the adoption out of an infant and has used it to exploit that tragedy for the pursuit of fame, fortune and personal gratification with total disregard for the reputations of members of birth and adoptive families. For this Joan ought to be utterly ashamed. For your part in this Doctor you ought to ashamed. Do you have any idea of the pain that your lack of professionalism, by not checking out the facts, has done to members of the two families of Joan? You have no right to insinuate yourself into any position of knowing what happened to my family! We did not give you permission!

Since 1982, I have had two contacts, one physical in 1992 and one phone call in 2005 or 06, with Joan, both times were attempts, on my part to reconcile with her, but at both times, after she smiled to my face, as soon as my back was turned, she betrayed me. For her to have truly welcomed my love as a sister, who wanted to reconcile with her, would have meant that Joan could not publish her ‘life’s work’, the book and that is unthinkable to Joan. So instead of reconciling she continued to betray myself and others, by publishing a book of lies and garbage! It is only since the publication of this book of lies that I have spoken out. I shall continue to do so until Joan pulls the book from all sales. That book and Joan’s activities are a disgrace to the honor of two families.

I, and my sisters, ask that you print a retraction of your foreword and review of this book. We also ask that you stop promoting this book as factual, for it is a product of a Joan’s diseased mind.

This letter, along with a copy of my paragraph-by-paragraph review of your review, will be posted on our blog and is being sent to a select list of adoption reform agencies or persons. In the past Joan has accused me of sending letters to many adoption agencies. I never did that, but now I MUST to demand that my and my family’s, good name be restored to us.

Thank you, Gert McQueen

 ~~~~~~~Gert McQueen’s comments on this review are in bold itatic.

Review of Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family by Rene Hoksbergen in LAVAContact2  2010 English translation.

This autobiographical study of Joan Wheeler read with the necessary tension on the way things will go. Despite the extensive and detailed description of the many events and feelings over a period of almost fifty years.

This book is a detailed description of a tormented individual that has a great need to have the world fit her delusions. No one lives in a vacuum and by the very nature of writing about one’s own inner demons it becomes very subjective in nature and all peoples in it must fit that subjective mindset. The ‘necessary tension’ is the result of the author’s inabilities to accept life as life was given to her. The ‘extensive and detailed description’ is just over-kill and only points to a mentally unbalanced individual. Perhaps if the author actually lived a life instead of always writing ‘the book’ she and it would not be so full of torment!

It consists of two parts. The autobiography of Joan and then part two with lots of information about the American adoption history and its current situation. In this second part she makes her findings and suggestions for improvements.

Part 1, is full of sensationalized drama, with intent to sell the story, the book! The author uses, extensively, the techniques of exaggeration and hyperbole along with fabrications and outright lies. 38 chapters consisting of 569 pages are devoted to the study of the autobiography of Joan’s tormented views!

Part 2, which ought to be the more useful part of any written material intended for adoption reform, consists of only 6 chapters with a total of 62 pages! And there are no ‘suggestions’ from the author. She is a militant angry adoptee that is very hostile to anyone who adopts!

And how much does a person have to spend for this study of one person’s tormented life? Around $50.00! A person, spending a few hours on the Internet, could come up with the same source materials in this book and save themselves the money.

Joan was born in Buffalo . Her mother died shortly after her birth and her father decided to give her away to a distant relative without children. He has already four children, three daughters and one son, this fifth child can’t be taken care by him. In 1956, when this takes place, adoption in the US (and also in our country) is a taboo subject. Birth certificates are falsified, the child is sometimes very late or not informed about the adoption and many know the facts and family relationships, some don’t, as the case of Joan.

My father didn’t know about the adoptive parents being any sort of ‘distant relative’; he was in the middle of a tragedy! My father’s decisions do not have to be explained or justified. The adoptive parents also do not have to justify or explain their reasons for adopting. Throughout this book the author details, over and over again, how she had browbeaten, intimidated, condemned, and used all sorts of methods to get all parents to ‘apology’ to her for her being adopted! My god!

When she becomes 18 years old, she’s suddenly called by her eldest sister. Her three sisters were from when Joan suddenly disappeared from the family informed of the status of adoption and also of her destination. They had always wanted to know how she was doing and now she’s eighteen and formal adult, they can contact her. From this call Joan’s life has been put upside down. She describes her reactions, of the adoptive parents and how her birth family, her father and siblings deal with it.

Life, being as it is as it unfolds, is full of surprises; who would have guessed that the author would choose to condemn both families for wanting her and then go out of her way to make everyone’s life miserable with her dirty double dealings and lies! It makes me ill to read, the almost 600 pages, of pure mental garbage that the author describes herself and everyone related to her.

Against the background of all the facts around the reunion and the further development of contacts she tells clearly and gripping the progress of other aspects in her life, her school life, marriage, becomes mother of two children, the death of her adoptive father, dealing with friends, the care of her adoptive mother and only child, and many others. It is a moving description of the history of an American woman and her two families.

Gripping is not a word I’d use to describe how the author tells about aspects of her life. Soap opera dramatics is how the author details her life; every little thing is overblown so that when real troubles occur they are exaggerated to show how horrible a life she has, because she is adopted! “A moving description”, only if you are addicted to soap opera drama!

But gradually it becomes clear that the reunion in her life especially got a negative impact. There is sexual abuse of her by one of her sisters, intense feelings of jealously, aggression and ignorance towards Joan. The father tires desperately, sometimes successfully but often not, to compromise between his children. Joan herself also got a fierce nature. At the same time her adoptive mother initially responds very negative to her writings about adoption in various newspapers and increasingly in book form. Mother has a strong possessiveness towards her adopted child, Joan.

Negative impact, cause by the author herself! As I’ve stated in my letter to Doctor Hoksbergen, there was no sexual abuse from me to the author. That is purely a cover-up story to take away from a real incident that the author wanted and then retaliated, when things didn’t go her way, with a cover-up story. She makes her mistake, of letting out the truth, via her own lying; liars never remember the original lie. Page 220 contains a very important element to this lie of sexual abuse and points to the ‘cover up story’! But, you will have to read my own extensive comments on this once its posted on our web blog under the title ‘facts are stubborn things’. I suggest everyone check out and read our blog frequently to know the truth of all that the author details, for indeed, it will take a few more months for all our refuting of this book!

The ‘intense feelings of jealously, aggression and ignorance’ is not towards Joan but is what Joan feels herself and projects onto everyone else. If someone does not fit into her ‘inner world reality’ they are ‘out to get her’ and she has no limits to what she will do to get you! “Fierce nature” and “strong possessiveness” don’t begin to describe the sick relationship between adopted mother and adoptee.

 Precisely because of its negative experiences Joan has decided twenty years ago, to write down her life story. She is also an adoption activist. She vehemently rails against the practice adopted in the US. She fights against the fraudulent nature, against hypocrisy, market characteristics, the closed nature of many adoptions that still continues, even against anonymous sperm and egg donors. Many times you see her at conferences, and so I made her acquaintance, her story. In the adoption world in the USA she’s well known.

When was this review actually written? The Doctor wrote the foreword in 2006 and according to the author she began writing her book in 1970’s. So by 2006 it was already close to 40 years not 20. So why have an outdated ‘review’ published now, in 2010? Precisely because it is now about one year since the book was published. This ‘review’ is a staged occurrence, it happens in the publishing world to boost sales!

She is no activist but yes she ‘vehemently rails against adoption’ to the point of not only obsession but condemnation of anyone adopting any child for any reason. Sounds more like she ought get a job with the Inquisition! She is well known in the adoption world? Pity those people!

The book is a very informative story about how an adopted deals with secrecy, how decisions are made for her, the struggle with feelings of loyalty, the reunion and contacts with biological family of both mothers and father’s side. She describes her emotional reactions openly and honestly.

This sounds as if the author wrote it for the reviewer!

It is an exciting and very well written story about the weak position of an adopted child. English is relatively simple and remain legible.

It is not written well and moves around, in space and time, as to be almost intentional misleading the reader. It is pathetic in its subjective portrayal of a weak mentally ill person. I don’t buy into the idea that because a person is adopted they are weak! They are weak because they choose to be so!

For adoptees and adoptive parents, I would recommend this book highly.

I, having actually read the thing, would recommend you use this book in the bathroom, if you were not worry about contamination from the printed words. You would be better off reading the birth sisters web blog to get a better well-rounded view of this author.

1. chayeletOctober 14, 2010

I fully endorse Gert’s statements here. Kathy Inglis.

2. RuthOctober 15, 2010

I also fully endorse Gert’s statements. – Ruth Sippel Pace


Posted by chayelet in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters, Uncategorized.
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Posted by chayelet in Our Family History, Private, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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It has come to my attention that Joan Wheeler has published a family photograph which includes my image to publicise her Book of Lies about myself and my family.


1. RuthJune 22, 2010 [Edit]

I hereby give notice that legal action will be taken against Joan Wheeler IMMEDIATELY. I will contacting my lawyer in the morning.

Gertrude Mary Genevieve Boasts her fore-mothers March 25, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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 I, Gertrude Mary Genevieve was named after the maternal line of our Sippel/Herr families.
 Gertrude after my mother’s mother Gertrude Stoll Herr
Mary after my father’s mother Mary Wisniewski
At about age 13, at a rite of passage into adulthood, I took my mother’s name Genevieve as part of my name
I am proud and honored to bear the names of these three women, for without them, I would not be
Wassail! (be you whole) Gertrude, Mary and Genevieve!
Your memories stay alive within meYour blood and mains (energy) flows within me.
I never knew Gertrude Stoll/Herr who gave birth to my mother….I boast her!
I did know Emma Herr, my mother’s step-mother who helped raise my mother… I boast her!
I did know Mary Wisniewski/Sippel who gave birth to my father Leonard…I boast her!
I did know Genevieve who gave birth to me…I boast her!
Ancestors remembered and honored
From the dawn of your birth, to the sunset of your death, I honor you.
From the goals you completed to your efforts left undone, I honor you.
From the season of your being, through the cycle of your life, I honor you.
From your time beyond the veil, til your soul’s return to earth again,
May you rest in peace and solace.
May my love reach you and embrace you especially this moment
Of remembering and forever more,
I honor you!

Gert McQueen is retired and no longer active in public work, but was a priestess and lore teacher in Theodism, editor and assistant publisher of a magazine, and has published several small booklets of lore and was an activist for Pagan rights.

Open letter to and about Joan Wheeler, from her eldest birth sister Gert McQueen January 7, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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January 2010

Open letter to and about Joan Wheeler, from her eldest birth sister Gert McQueen


I am one of the “three Sippel sisters” as Joan calls myself and our other two sisters. We also have a deceased brother. I find it interesting that even though she professes to be a “Sippel” by birth she does not consider her self a “Sippel Sister.” Why is that?

This is to set the record straight about how I have NOT harassed her but about WHAT she has done to my family and myself. I have no secrets, if she thinks there is any pleas, by all means, she should bring them out in the open for Joan shall not blackmail me. She shall not hold me hostage to her emotional imbalance or her distortion of events or her omission of her own transgressions that she did perpetrate to myself and my families, those that I have come from, those I married into and those I gave birth to.

By choice I do not have email and am not connected to the net, that is why I’ve asked Ruth to scan and post this for me. Since Joan posted, without my permission, “all” of my last names and teh city where I live its not difficult for anyone to find me. I’m listed in the phone book, if anyone, out there, is truly interested in knowing more details about Joan’s adoption and reunion, from someone who who actually does remember her as an infanct and who brought about the initial reunion and who has suffred from her meddling interference or wants to know how she really is, feel free to phone me, I have nothing to hide. For I shall not be blackmailed and held hostage! Again it is interesting to note that Joan has no problem in telling the world her family’s names and where they live but I do not know where she lives nor her phone number. If I did know her address and phone I have forgotten them over the years and don’t care to know them or her now. True fact – I have seen and spoken with Joan only three, count them 3, times in the past 27 years. Did you get that? In 27 years I have only had 3 contacts with Joan. I’m really slacking in my harassing her so this is my fourth contract to her.

And yet had the audacity, a couple of months ago, to call her town of Tonawanda NY Police Department (did you get that) to tell them that her sisters, whom she named, where harassing her and telling the police to phone one of them with the trhreat of court action of harassment if they did not leave her alone. Excuse me! And then in recent posts to her internet accounts she wonders why “Gert has backed off…and was only fishing for information a couple of years ago when she asked for her stepmother to phone Joan.” Excuse me! What was I backing off from? Haven’t talked to her in years and that last phone call, can’t even remember the date, sometime 2004, or 05, or 06, was yet another attempt, on my part, to recocile with her. It’s called peace making, settling karma, forgiveness, burying the hatchet, what ever you like but certainly not fishing for information or harassment. But like everything else, Joan is incapable of understanding the other guy and/or minding her own business.

Why, you ask, is it that if it is my choice not to have, nor to want, contract with Joan that I should give a damn about what she has to say? Because she should be ashamed of her self for things she is saying and doing today and others should not be conned nor used by her. She has written the book, well people also need to hear the other side of the story.

Does she forget why I divorced her? Yes, that’s right, I divorced her, by my personal decree, that it is only an accident of birth (the work of the Wyrd Sisters or the Fates) that we both have the same blood parents and, in my opinion, that divorce is still in effect because of her inability to reconcile with me about what she has done to me and my family and her continued hatred for me and our other sisters. If anyone is unfamiliar with the Wyrd Sisters check your European and Classical mythologies.

A synopsis: I have 2 children from a first marriage, remarried in 1980 and my second husband wanted to adopt my children who were young teenagers. Because of their ages they had to give their permission to be adopted. My daughter was going through the usual teenage “identity crisis,” did not want to be adopted; she also was having issues with her natural father and it was deemed best that she not be adopted. None-the-less she was treated as if she was by her stepfather. During this time period I was paying $s for professional counseling as any family would to gain tools to keep the family together.

During the adoption procedures we had to go through many examinations by the adoption authorities and were found fit for adopting my son. Joan in her adoption zeal became abusive towards me because of the first two pieces of paper I had to sign for adopting my own son. On the first paper I signed, I, the birth mother relinquished my parental rights for said child. On the second paper I signed, I, the birth mother became the foster mother of said child. On the third I signed, I, the birth/foster mother became the adopted mother of said child. The said child was 16 years old and never left my home or heart! But Joan argued with me to the point of calling me an unfit mother and I had to kick her out of my home.

Then Joan, with another sister of mine, whom BTW has long ago, made amends, apologized to me for her involvement and whom I have forgiven, began interfering in my and my husband’s parental authority with my minor children. Joan told my 14-year-old daughter that she did not have to listen to her mother, that it was okay for to have a mixed racial sexual relationship, against my parental authority and encouraged my daughter to run away and lied to family and police about my daughter’s whereabouts. When we found my daughter, she said she was abused and raped. My husband and I were labeled child abusers and rapists and put on the NY State Child Abuse List. My child was taken from me. Then they sued me for custody of my chold. I asked for a home study to be done on both my sisters and they were found to be unsuitable to have a 14 year old in their custody.

I had to endure a year of investigations and an 8-hour hearing that produced a 16-page document that proved our innocence saying that everything my husband and I did was to protect my minor child from harming herself. But the damage was done. I placed my daughter in foster care and gave her legal freedom at age 17. My family was destroyed. My marriage broke up; no one in the family could believe that such a thing could happen. My son and daughter’s relationship has never been the same and my daughter has been estranged from many family members for decades. This is why I divorced Joan and left the city of Buffalo NY in 1982.

the following paragraph is highlighted to show Joan’s hatred of anyone’s religion.

Ten years later, in 1992, our brother came home for a visit and there was an opportunity, I thought, to reconcile with Joan, put it behind us and move on. During the visit I shared with my sisters my finding of and involvement in a reawakening movement of Northwestern European ancestral folk religion and in particular Anglo-Saxon Theodish Belief. I had explained all this to our father a couple of years before. He asked me if I was happy in my choice of religious expression and when I said yes he said that is all that matters. But to Joan my religion was wrong. Unbeknown to me she went to our father’s home and complaining to him that there was “something wrong with Gert’s mental health because of the religion she is into.” Our father kicked her out of his home. When I heard about that I said okay she and I were still divorced.

I was very much involved in the devolpment of Theodish Belief, from 1990 until I retired in 2000, including publishing a full-scale international magazine 4 times a year for 7 years, writing several booklets of my own, editing and publishing the works of several authors and am still considered one of the prime leaders of the whole Heathen movement. You can find my and others’ works on the net.

Interestingly, our brother knew and loved our ancestral Old Gods and Goddesses long before I did and when he died I wrote and circulated among many of the leaders who knew us both a “memory boast.” There’s a Heathen verse that says:

Cattle die, kinsmen die, you too shall die, and the only thing that remains is your reputation.

Think about it!

I didn’t speak with Joan for another 10 or 15 years, can’t remember when it was 2004, 05, 06, doesn’t matter, but I was at our father’s home in Buffalo, and again I thought perhaps Joan would be willing to have a decent conversation that could lead to reconciliation. I thought it was important to settle the karma while one can, none of us is getting any younger. I asked if someone would place the call to her, I never had the number, Joan and I had a nice conversation and she told me was a Unitarian Universalist. She knew that I had given some lectures at the Watertown Church. Don’t remember much more of that conversation thinking that is all I could do. That was the third and last time I spoke with Joan.

But seeing some of her commments recently on the web, I wonder if she really understands anything. She really ought to read and understand the Unitarian Univeralist mission statement. They recognize the worth of every individual’s choice of expression in the divine. Joan does not adhere to that because she is a bigot. She condemns my religious expression. Why? I have for decades studied and practiced many religious traditions to learn from them. I wonder, is there a relgion that I should be practicing that Joan would approve of?

Since that last conversation I had with Joan, our father has told me that over recent years Joan had helped him with rides to doctors and such. About a year or so ago he told me that Joan started to complain to him that he doesn’t help her with gas money and thinks of her as a taxi and that her car needs repairs and he ought to give her money to fix it. he gave her some “taxi” money, told her he doesn’t need her services, the car is her responsibility to fix, that if she doesn’t have money she should get a job and that it is best that they don’t “see” each other. Joan currently has been writing that her natural father, my father, is dying. He’s dying the same as all of us are. He is not on the deathbed.

Joan ought to be ashamedof her self for misrepresenting our father and his condition.

Joan ought to be ashamed of her self for the way she talks about her adoptive family and in particular her adoptive mother who probably really is on the deathbed.

Joan ought to learn about death and dying. The one thing elderly and the dying don’t need is stress, arguments, being forced to account for their decisions in their lives or have other unsavory conditions placed upon them. Joan is doing much damage here. Shame on you Joan.

Joan is doing soul damage to those who have passed on; like not honoring our mother and her memory and to those that are aging like our father and those that are in the final end of days of their life like her adoptive mother. Shame on you Joan. I work with Hospice. I tend to those that are dying and know what I say here.

Joan is a soul vampire she sucks the energy out of people and eats their souls. You think I jest? Ask anyone in her families, birth or adoption, and they will tell you all kinds of horrors they have suffered. Shame on you Joan.

I can forgive Joan for what she did to my family but only if she can forgive herself is she stops her hatred for others and me. The one thing that forgiveness doesn’t mean is to forget. I shall never forget what she did and therefore shall never trust her again and true to her nature she is still falsely accusing me of things and misrepresenting other situations. There’s a great wisdom: one cannot have a conversation, or a constructive argument, with a drunk or a mentally disturbed person.

Joan get some help and humility before it is too late. Another Heathen wisdom: You Are Your Deeds!

Your sister, Gert


I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor


this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

Also see this Facebook page


In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum


Joan Mary Wheeler forum 


review of first book and 4 comments





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