We have a new friend – her name is EricaShep34 September 15, 2012Posted by Ruth in Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
Her name is Erica.
She’s been going through our blogs. So I moseyed on over to her wordpress blog at: http://ericashep34.wordpress.com/ She just started her blog. She hasn’t even made a blog post yet. But her priority seems to be in checking us Sippel Sisters out. She came over from Joan Wheeler’s Cyberbullying page.
So I wrote the following as a welcome to her (and left it as a comment on her blog):
well, hello there. are you a spy for Joan Wheeler and/or Brian Maloney? lol. doesn’t matter. You can read all you want on my blogs, or Gert’s blog. See, we have nothing to hide. But be warned – we back our blogs up with documented proof – like actual court documents that prove that Joan Wheeler lied in her book, and on her blogs, and all over the internet. These court documents have been scanned and posted on my blog. I’ve also scanned actual letters – some handwritten by Joan herself that prove that she is a liar and an abuser. So by all means -come and check me out! Here is the link to my main blog: Refuting a Book of Lies – https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/ Here is Gert’s Blog: Reclaiming the Sippel/Herr Family Honor http://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/ Here is my “unusual” blog – Midnight and Mythos: http://midnightandmythos.wordpress.com/ and my newest one, still under construction, about Star Trek, and the local Star Trek group that I head up: The USS Ari http://ussarincc1701.wordpress.com/ Or maybe you’d like to visit me on Twitter: twitter@ruthsippelpace or facebook: http://www.facebook.com/RuthSippelPace
So don’t be shy – don’t be a stranger! Come on board and be friends – I promise, we won’t bite you. Unless your purpose is to be a hater. Then be forewarned – we Sippel Sisters don’t take no crap. We are blogging about a serious matter – our lives, that have been used as lying fodder by Joan Wheeler. We refuse to allow lies to be spread about our very lives.
Remember- if Joan Wheeler has the Freedom of Speech to tell lies about us, we have the Freedom of Speech to tell the truth and the facts of our lives.
I like meeting new friends.
A Disclaimer – March 6, 2012 March 6, 2012Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
On March 6, 2012, Joan Wheeler left a comment on Gert’s blog “Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor.” In order to post a comment, one must leave an email address. And Joan left hers. It was an email address that I have known for some time.
(see end of this post for updated material)
Back when I first started my blog Refuting a Book of Lies, I posted a similar disclaimer. Joan had made a statement on her website that The Three Sippel Sisters were going around and leaving disparaging comments about her on various adoption reform forums. That was a lie. In October 2009, Joan was quoted in an adoptee article “Adoptees Face Sting of Discriminiation.” And then left several comments. In her comments, she got the facts of her adoption wrong. I tried to leave my comment, rebuting her, but my comment was not approved. An another website, The Daily Bastardette, the webhostess put up a post promoting Joan’s new book. (November 2009). I tried to leave a respectful comment, but the webhostess chose not to post it. Which was her right. It was because of my frustration in not having my respectful rebuting comments posted, that I began my blog – AFTER Joan’s book was published – which contained a direct reference to an article that contained my true name. My blog, containing my true name was not in existence until AFTER Joan’s book was published, so that makes her statement that we named ourselves on the internet first – a LIE!
So in my original disclaimer – I rebutted the fact that neither I, nor Kathy (Gert was not part of the blog until months later – we are after THREE distinct individuals, not one lumped together entity) were leaving disparaging remarks about Joan on various adoptee websites.
I said pretty much this – and it holds true today as it did then:
If any website is getting any comments from any individual naming themselves as one of the three birth sisters of Joan Wheeler, to please contact us via our blog for authentication purposes. As a matter of fact, after Joan’s book was pulled from publication, we did leave comments spreading the news that it had been pulled. And in the case of The Huffington Post, where Joan, out of the clear blue sky, posted a very vile lie about us and our grandfather, we rebutted the lie. (a complaint was made to Huffington, and Joan’s comments were deleted, her account canceled). In those cases, we left links to our blog(s). And blogged about what we wrote – and posted links to the discussion, so people can readily reference what we write on the internet.
If any website (and this includes Joan’s official website and her email) gets any email or comments with an email purporting to be from any of us birth sisters, please contact me with that email address, the IP address if it can be obtained, and the url address.
The reason? – Because Joan is devious enough to set up fake email addresses in our names, and use those fake email addresses to post as us. Joan did it before. Back in 1993, when she posed as her own 10 year old son, forged a letter to me, addressed the envelope to me, but the inside forged letter was for my husband. The purpose? To bait me to phone her – knowing she had a trace trap on her line – and she then hung up on me when I called. I thought we were disconnected, so I called back – and she hung up again. She then reported to the police that I was calling and hanging up on her and she filed a false police report on me.
So, bottom line, I want any email Joan receives from “us” investigated thoroughly – because it won’t be from us. It might be from Joan herself. Because she likes to play games and lie and twist the truth around. I don’t play games. Never have. I don’t lie. If I make a mistake, I own up to it. Not Joan. Even when the PROOF is shoved right into her face, she keeps on saying, “oh no, I didn’t do that.”
UPDATE November 2016; as older posts are being seen I, Gert, am updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!
this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.
Evidence sent to Trafford Publications which resulted in the pulling of the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler – Part 1 June 22, 2011Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, bigotry, embellishing the truth, false accusations, Forbidden Family book pulled from publication, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, hate language, LIBEL, Lies, obscence language, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, religious intolerance, SLANDER, spreading untruths, Trafford Publications
In our last post I stated “… Gert and I will be putting out on this blog those several pages of proof – because we are honest. We give our blog readers full disclosure of what we write and to whom. We deal in truth. – Not only do we deal in the truth – we deal in the truth to EVERYBODY! “ This is Gert’s narrative on how we decided to contact Trafford to make a formal complaint about this hideous book. Gert’s complaint to Trafford follows. My own complaint, because it covers so much material, is split into two parts, and will be posted either tomorrow or Friday, June 24, 2011, depending on time allowances. – Ruth Pace
We blood sisters had found out about the publication of Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family around the end of 2009. I myself did not get a physical copy of the book until late January 2010. As I started to go over it I became quite upset, as were my other two sisters. Initially we three were just picking out certain things in the book and then it dawned on me to attack the book from the beginning. So I started to read it from the outside covers and from page one. It is not an easy book to read and that doesn’t mean just because we sisters are subjects in the book. It is a difficult read because of all the hate, mental disruptions and disturbances and outright lies that the author put out.
At some point in December 2010 as I was reading chapter 38 I said out loud to myself…how did this f…ing book GET published? What kind of an publishing house produced this piece of garbage? It was at that time that I made my first phone call to Trafford, on December 14, 2010. As I spoke with a customer service rep and asked some questions, it became obvious, to both of us, that there were some serious problems with the content of the book. I was told that the author did NOT pay for editing services but had a ‘print ready’ manuscript and UNLESS there is a complaint the editing department DOES NOT look at the manuscript. I was told to send a email with some particulars of my objections to the customer service department. I did that and waited.
During the first week of January 2011, speaking with a customer service manager, I was told to send him a list of the most credible examples of libel and other evidences that we say the author had put in the book. Ruth and I did that. Then our father died and it was not until January 21 when I was able to speak with someone at Trafford, a top level manager, who took charge of our complaint. I spoke with Mr Hopkins many times between Jan 21 and May 6 when he finally told me that the book WAS pulled.
Ruth and I now submit, on this blog, the narratives and credible evidence we gave to Trafford.
Here is Gert’s complaint:
Evidence related to slanderous lies in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler, provided by Gert McQueen.
It is the opinions of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis, and Ruth Pace that our personal and family honor has been sullied and damaged by the publication of this book by Joan Wheeler.
Lies pg xv and xvi ‘why I wrote this book’
Fact: author did not do research to verify information nor speak directly to all individuals (speaking here for blood sisters) to provide the facts and their ‘versions of the truth’. At no time did the author discuss anything related to us sisters, with us, before publication of this book. We had no knowledge that this book was being written or that it was published until after the fact.
Fact: this section (why I wrote the book) written in 2006, was indeed written for vengeance, contrary to the author’s statement, ‘I didn’t write this book for vengeance…my intent is not vindictive or malicious’.
Lie: author states, pg 531, ‘each one of my sisters had something to hide, something they did not want me to write about, which I have not written about.’
Fact: This is a warning statement, of the threat of blackmail, from the author to us sisters.
Examples of how and why the author tells the family tales for vengeance and with malice…pg 543, 545, 546, 547
Fact: Chapter 35 pg 429 – 459 were written about events of 2006/07 with malice and for vindictive purposes. Pg 434 author states that her friend said ‘I don’t want people to know my private life’. But author disregards that request and tells all. On pg 452 the author states… ‘Yes, Jimmy earned a place in this book right along with the other examples of prejudice against adoptees – against me- to be remembered for all the wrong reasons. Of all the people who hurt me because they didn’t understand or approve of what I’m doing…I expose in my writings.’
Fact: Chapter 38 pg 482 – 566 were written April-July 2009, again with malice and for vindictive purposes to show, pg 484, how the author ‘was the only half-orphan treated differently’. This chapter’s sole purpose is for malice and vindictiveness.
Fact: on two separate occasions, 1992 and 2006, before publication of this book, the author had lied directly to me (Gert) about our relationship, leaving me to believe that she loved me, but then used those 2 occasions to further lie about me in the book.
Lie: the author’s position that this book is about adoption reform when in fact it is violently against adoption.
Fact: chapter 23 pg 238- 242 author’s views about the Catholic church.
Fact: pg 485 author’s statement against the institution of adoption. ‘my conclusion that the concept of adoption is corrupt…pathology lies in adoption itself.’
Fact: pg 566 author’s statements ‘adoption must end in America , I demand restitution for my life as a person duped by adoption.’
Fact: pg 473- 476 author’s claims of fraud against Surrogate Courts, Registrar of vital statistics and Catholic Church
Fact: Pages 348 – 356 shows some of the outrage and hate that the author has towards adoption.
Pages 357 –358, 367-368 shows the author’s rage and hate, in front of her children
Fact: Author published, whole or in part, the real names of her birth parents, which are my and my sisters’ and brother’s parents and institutions/city/state locations. The author provides sufficient information, date and place of mother’s death, full names of relations, living and dead, where in a quick search could reveal our names, pg 489 – 492. There are many pages, through out that contain real names of family members.
Pages that show documents of my father and mother’s names, 460, 462, 464, 466,
On page 302 and footnoted as #15 page 634, the author sites her article ‘the Secret is Out’, which contained the real names of birth family, and which was the reason that birth sister Kathy wrote a letter to adoption agencies, around 1992/93, to protest the publication of our real names, which the author then relates falsely as harassments pg 310.
Pages containing a living family member’s name, where is the permission? 466
Back cover of the book contains a family photo of my parents, my brother, my sisters and myself. Living persons in that photo did not give permission for that photo to be used on a book of lies about our family.
Lie, slanderous: pg 95 author states that I, Gert, ‘took a few puffs on a joint to get stoned’. I, Gert, never did that!
Fact, pg 93 author states that she, the author, ‘started smoking pot’
Lie, slanderous: pg 128 author states that I, Gert, got the author drunk, stoned and then made sexual advances to her.
Fact: I, Gert, never did that!
Lies, slanderous: pg 214 and pg 220, author states again that I, Gert, sexually abused the author.
Fact: I, Gert, did not!
Fact: Additional pages containing foul obscene language…pg 214, 360. The other pages as indicated in my original email complaint are, 160, 219, 220, 312, 313, 370.
Lie, slanderous: author states, pg 214, that I, Gert, used those obscene words, plus threaten to kill her, in letters and over a telephone,
Fact: I, Gert, did not! I wrote one letter, as referenced on pg 214, to author’s adoptive mother informing her of the author’s actions of interference to and against my minor children and myself.
Fact: pg 157, the author had a previous history, 1977, of interfering with and causing trouble because over my father’s adoption of his step-daughter
Lies, slanderous: Pg 213- 214 contains much that is an untrue account of the events that the author herself did to my (Gert) immediate family.
Fact: in 1981 my husband and I were in the process of adopting my own birth son, the author recklessly interfered in our parental authority, called me an unfit mother, told me I was doing great harm to my son, told my children they did not have to obey me. I was forced to remove the author from my home and forbid any contact with my children. As part of the adoption process my husband and I were investigated by the courts and were found fit, for adoption. But in retaliation for being forbidden to see my children, the author called in a child abuse report, which was quickly dismissed because we had just completed a adoption investigation. Fact: On pg 301, the author states that she had called in the abuse in 1981.
Fact: In 1982 my husband and I moved our family to another city in part to remove my children from the negative influence of the author. My daughter had behavior problems and after our physical relocation she ran-away, Sept 1982, back to the city we moved from. Again, in retaliation to me, the author used that occasion to call a second child abuse against my husband and me this time claiming sexual abuse.
Fact: In a Family Court hearing I requested, and was granted, that my minor daughter be placed in protective custody of the county and she was placed in a foster home. I then had a hearing about the child abuse against husband and myself. In March 1984 the charges of child abuse and maltreatment was found to be untrue and all records were to be ‘expunged’ from the record. It was as if it never happened, until the author lyingly wrote about it in the book.
Fact: I have scanned the first and last pages of that document to show that the charges against me were false to begin with, were expunged and that this episode should not have been repeated, particularly in print, it is a slanderous lie and misrepresentation purely for malice and vindictiveness. See additional documents
Fact: I, Gert, moved from the same city where the author lived in Sept 1982 and did not speak nor see her again until 1992. I had no knowledge of anything she did, or said, I had no contact with any person with whom I spoke about the author…I divorced myself from the author…for her interference, her alienating my children from me and contributing to the destruction of my marriage and family unit.
Fact: In 1992, at a family gathering the author and I spoke, I attempted a reconciliation, thought that the author was doing the same, until, she used my religion as a means to continue spreading lies that my mental health was in danger because of my religion and other hateful things against me to other family members. I then continued on with my ‘divorce’ and have not seen the author since 1992. Sometime in 2006, when my father was ill, I had a short phone conversation with author to which, she said she loved me and wished me well, knowing full well she was lying and was publishing a book of lies.
Lie, slanderous: author states, pg 243, referring to child abuse calls the author was receiving that I, (Gert) ‘obviously retaliated against me since I was responsible for having her investigated through the same child abuse hotline. The only difference was that (Gert)’s phone calls were based on revenge, not concern. My intervention with my niece came after I pieced together evidence of sexual behavior that threatened her well-being.’
Fact: as I had just stated, I had no contact with the author during this time-period (1984), I didn’t even know that the author had a child! I did not call any abuse on to the author. This lie is a continued accusation against me for alleged sexual abuse, in this case against my own child that was found to be untrue and was expunged from the record! It does show the fact that the author did indeed call in a false child abuse report upon me, Gert, in 1982, but here she lies about the actual truth of the circumstances.
Fact: pg 301, author states that she ‘reported fears to child protection authorities in 1981’. By the author’s own admission she called two false child abuse reports against me.
Lies, slanderous: chapter 27, pg 295-313, is a complete fabrication of the event.
Fact: it was a very brief family gathering, at a local park, with pleasant conversations, hugs, and a separate visit with author, myself and Ruth, at which time I shared with them my religious affiliations and activities. At no time did the author say anything negative to me about my religion, only to say that her husband had been part of SCA and she thought that was ‘my religion’; it is not. I thought and was lead to believe by the author, that perhaps a reconciliation could occur between us, as had occurred between myself and Ruth which ended the then 10 year silence and mistrust.
Fact: the next day, the author went to my father’s home, saying ‘Gert’s mental health must be in danger because there is something wrong with Gert’s religion’. (religious intolerance). My father told her that he knew of my religion and my mental health, that the author was not welcome in his home if she continued to spread lies and cause trouble. The author continued to argue, my father threw her out of his home.
Fact: It was my father who told me about the confrontation that he had with the author, at his home and what the author said about me, (Gert). I have not seen the author since that event of July 1992 and I have had one short phone conversation, again pleasant, in 2006!
Lies, slanderous: pg 301, author states that I, Gert, ‘got pregnant at age 17, married the 16 year old father to get out of living in a foster home and dealing with our father and stepmother.’
Fact: I was out of the foster home, my step-mother had died and both myself and my husband were of legal age and married because we wanted to.
Lies, slanderous: pg 308 –313, author states that we sisters did harassing letters and phone calls.
Fact: I, Gert, did not write letters or make phone calls.
Lies: pg 316 – 318 pertain to events about getting personal properties of Kathy’s back from the author that the author did not do in a timely matter.
Fact: Under pressures, from family members, the author enlisted the help of Doctor Hoksbergen. My sister Kathy wrote a letter to Doctor Hoksbergen after she received a very intrusive and intimidating letter from him.
See my email that contains my assessment of Hoksbergen’s letter as well as letter the author wrote to my aged foster mother attempting to gain information from her.
Lies, slanderous: pg 310 author states that she had spoken with a Joe Soll, adoption specialist, who had received letters from the author’s sisters.
Fact: see my email with copy of an email exchange that I, Gert, had with Mr. Soll, who denies everything the author had stated on pg 310/311.
Lies, slanderous: pg309, the author states ‘my sisters would do anything to prevent me from publishing my life story, they ganged together to destroy my soul so I wouldn’t be a threat to them, this surely was sibling rivalry and jealousy at its best.’
Lies, slanderous: pg 314-318, the author states that we sisters made many harassing phones and she enlisted the help from the police and they had some sort of recordings of what was said and can make identifications. She has a police officer saying this about me, (Gert)… ‘this one in ‘P’…what’s her name, oh here it is I’ve got her right here, ‘I’ she says she’s gonna bring the entire House of Thor to bring evil upon you, honestly, I wish these two were in Buffalo, I’d fry them like hotcakes.’
Fact: I, Gert, never made phone calls, there is no proof from any police dept. or phone company.
Fact: The statement about me bringing a god (Thor) is an insult to one of my Gods! To state that I would ‘bring evil’ is beyond slander it is hate speech towards my religion and my religious practices. The author only knows SCA activities from her husband’s association with reenactments.
Fact: I, Gert, am a well-respected innovator of the reawakening of certain ancient folk religions. I am a lore-teacher and writer in my religion of Anglo-Saxon Theodish Belief. Some of my writings and activities can be seen on the web just by googling my name. I take great offense having my religion and my religious practices misjudged and discussed so disrespectfully.
Fact: The author has also been very vocal and disrespectful about my sister Ruth’s pagan religion and my sister Kathy’s Jewish religion. These things are reported on our refuting blog. (religious intolerance – hate language).
Lie: page 359 author states that in 1999 she wrote a letter to our brother and ‘a similar letter to my sisters, that whatever they had against me needed to be talked out, resolved, so we could be a family again.’
Fact: I (Gert) never received such a letter. I attempted in early 1982 mediation with the author but the author said ‘go to hell’. After the betrayal by the author in 1992 I wanted nothing to do with the author. I attempted another reconciliation by phone in 2006 only to be betrayed again, by author.
Lie: pg 359 author states ‘my sisters retaliated with yet more hate mail and vicious phone calls’
Fact: I (Gert) never did.
Again, I must state that, it is the opinions of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis, and Ruth Pace that our personal and family honor has been sullied and damaged by the publication of this book by Joan Wheeler. For honor sake we ask that Trafford Publication look at the content of the material in this book and remove it from your selling markets.
Gertrude Mary Genevieve Boasts her fore-mothers March 25, 2010Posted by Ruth in Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
I, Gertrude Mary Genevieve was named after the maternal line of our Sippel/Herr families.
Gertrude after my mother’s mother Gertrude Stoll Herr
Mary after my father’s mother Mary Wisniewski
At about age 13, at a rite of passage into adulthood, I took my mother’s name Genevieve as part of my name
I am proud and honored to bear the names of these three women, for without them, I would not be
Wassail! (be you whole) Gertrude, Mary and Genevieve!
Your memories stay alive within meYour blood and mains (energy) flows within me.
I never knew Gertrude Stoll/Herr who gave birth to my mother….I boast her!
I did know Emma Herr, my mother’s step-mother who helped raise my mother… I boast her!
I did know Mary Wisniewski/Sippel who gave birth to my father Leonard…I boast her!
I did know Genevieve who gave birth to me…I boast her!
Ancestors remembered and honored
From the dawn of your birth, to the sunset of your death, I honor you.
From the goals you completed to your efforts left undone, I honor you.
From the season of your being, through the cycle of your life, I honor you.
From your time beyond the veil, til your soul’s return to earth again,
May you rest in peace and solace.
May my love reach you and embrace you especially this moment
Of remembering and forever more,
I honor you!
Gert McQueen is retired and no longer active in public work, but was a priestess and lore teacher in Theodism, editor and assistant publisher of a magazine, and has published several small booklets of lore and was an activist for Pagan rights.
Open letter to and about Joan Wheeler, from her eldest birth sister Gert McQueen
I am one of the “three Sippel sisters” as Joan calls myself and our other two sisters. We also have a deceased brother. I find it interesting that even though she professes to be a “Sippel” by birth she does not consider her self a “Sippel Sister.” Why is that?
This is to set the record straight about how I have NOT harassed her but about WHAT she has done to my family and myself. I have no secrets, if she thinks there is any pleas, by all means, she should bring them out in the open for Joan shall not blackmail me. She shall not hold me hostage to her emotional imbalance or her distortion of events or her omission of her own transgressions that she did perpetrate to myself and my families, those that I have come from, those I married into and those I gave birth to.
By choice I do not have email and am not connected to the net, that is why I’ve asked Ruth to scan and post this for me. Since Joan posted, without my permission, “all” of my last names and teh city where I live its not difficult for anyone to find me. I’m listed in the phone book, if anyone, out there, is truly interested in knowing more details about Joan’s adoption and reunion, from someone who who actually does remember her as an infanct and who brought about the initial reunion and who has suffred from her meddling interference or wants to know how she really is, feel free to phone me, I have nothing to hide. For I shall not be blackmailed and held hostage! Again it is interesting to note that Joan has no problem in telling the world her family’s names and where they live but I do not know where she lives nor her phone number. If I did know her address and phone I have forgotten them over the years and don’t care to know them or her now. True fact – I have seen and spoken with Joan only three, count them 3, times in the past 27 years. Did you get that? In 27 years I have only had 3 contacts with Joan. I’m really slacking in my harassing her so this is my fourth contract to her.
And yet had the audacity, a couple of months ago, to call her town of Tonawanda NY Police Department (did you get that) to tell them that her sisters, whom she named, where harassing her and telling the police to phone one of them with the trhreat of court action of harassment if they did not leave her alone. Excuse me! And then in recent posts to her internet accounts she wonders why “Gert has backed off…and was only fishing for information a couple of years ago when she asked for her stepmother to phone Joan.” Excuse me! What was I backing off from? Haven’t talked to her in years and that last phone call, can’t even remember the date, sometime 2004, or 05, or 06, was yet another attempt, on my part, to recocile with her. It’s called peace making, settling karma, forgiveness, burying the hatchet, what ever you like but certainly not fishing for information or harassment. But like everything else, Joan is incapable of understanding the other guy and/or minding her own business.
Why, you ask, is it that if it is my choice not to have, nor to want, contract with Joan that I should give a damn about what she has to say? Because she should be ashamed of her self for things she is saying and doing today and others should not be conned nor used by her. She has written the book, well people also need to hear the other side of the story.
Does she forget why I divorced her? Yes, that’s right, I divorced her, by my personal decree, that it is only an accident of birth (the work of the Wyrd Sisters or the Fates) that we both have the same blood parents and, in my opinion, that divorce is still in effect because of her inability to reconcile with me about what she has done to me and my family and her continued hatred for me and our other sisters. If anyone is unfamiliar with the Wyrd Sisters check your European and Classical mythologies.
A synopsis: I have 2 children from a first marriage, remarried in 1980 and my second husband wanted to adopt my children who were young teenagers. Because of their ages they had to give their permission to be adopted. My daughter was going through the usual teenage “identity crisis,” did not want to be adopted; she also was having issues with her natural father and it was deemed best that she not be adopted. None-the-less she was treated as if she was by her stepfather. During this time period I was paying $s for professional counseling as any family would to gain tools to keep the family together.
During the adoption procedures we had to go through many examinations by the adoption authorities and were found fit for adopting my son. Joan in her adoption zeal became abusive towards me because of the first two pieces of paper I had to sign for adopting my own son. On the first paper I signed, I, the birth mother relinquished my parental rights for said child. On the second paper I signed, I, the birth mother became the foster mother of said child. On the third I signed, I, the birth/foster mother became the adopted mother of said child. The said child was 16 years old and never left my home or heart! But Joan argued with me to the point of calling me an unfit mother and I had to kick her out of my home.
Then Joan, with another sister of mine, whom BTW has long ago, made amends, apologized to me for her involvement and whom I have forgiven, began interfering in my and my husband’s parental authority with my minor children. Joan told my 14-year-old daughter that she did not have to listen to her mother, that it was okay for to have a mixed racial sexual relationship, against my parental authority and encouraged my daughter to run away and lied to family and police about my daughter’s whereabouts. When we found my daughter, she said she was abused and raped. My husband and I were labeled child abusers and rapists and put on the NY State Child Abuse List. My child was taken from me. Then they sued me for custody of my chold. I asked for a home study to be done on both my sisters and they were found to be unsuitable to have a 14 year old in their custody.
I had to endure a year of investigations and an 8-hour hearing that produced a 16-page document that proved our innocence saying that everything my husband and I did was to protect my minor child from harming herself. But the damage was done. I placed my daughter in foster care and gave her legal freedom at age 17. My family was destroyed. My marriage broke up; no one in the family could believe that such a thing could happen. My son and daughter’s relationship has never been the same and my daughter has been estranged from many family members for decades. This is why I divorced Joan and left the city of Buffalo NY in 1982.
Ten years later, in 1992, our brother came home for a visit and there was an opportunity, I thought, to reconcile with Joan, put it behind us and move on. During the visit I shared with my sisters my finding of and involvement in a reawakening movement of Northwestern European ancestral folk religion and in particular Anglo-Saxon Theodish Belief. I had explained all this to our father a couple of years before. He asked me if I was happy in my choice of religious expression and when I said yes he said that is all that matters. But to Joan my religion was wrong. Unbeknown to me she went to our father’s home and complaining to him that there was “something wrong with Gert’s mental health because of the religion she is into.” Our father kicked her out of his home. When I heard about that I said okay she and I were still divorced.
I was very much involved in the devolpment of Theodish Belief, from 1990 until I retired in 2000, including publishing a full-scale international magazine 4 times a year for 7 years, writing several booklets of my own, editing and publishing the works of several authors and am still considered one of the prime leaders of the whole Heathen movement. You can find my and others’ works on the net.
Interestingly, our brother knew and loved our ancestral Old Gods and Goddesses long before I did and when he died I wrote and circulated among many of the leaders who knew us both a “memory boast.” There’s a Heathen verse that says:
Cattle die, kinsmen die, you too shall die, and the only thing that remains is your reputation.
Think about it!
I didn’t speak with Joan for another 10 or 15 years, can’t remember when it was 2004, 05, 06, doesn’t matter, but I was at our father’s home in Buffalo, and again I thought perhaps Joan would be willing to have a decent conversation that could lead to reconciliation. I thought it was important to settle the karma while one can, none of us is getting any younger. I asked if someone would place the call to her, I never had the number, Joan and I had a nice conversation and she told me was a Unitarian Universalist. She knew that I had given some lectures at the Watertown Church. Don’t remember much more of that conversation thinking that is all I could do. That was the third and last time I spoke with Joan.
But seeing some of her commments recently on the web, I wonder if she really understands anything. She really ought to read and understand the Unitarian Univeralist mission statement. They recognize the worth of every individual’s choice of expression in the divine. Joan does not adhere to that because she is a bigot. She condemns my religious expression. Why? I have for decades studied and practiced many religious traditions to learn from them. I wonder, is there a relgion that I should be practicing that Joan would approve of?
Since that last conversation I had with Joan, our father has told me that over recent years Joan had helped him with rides to doctors and such. About a year or so ago he told me that Joan started to complain to him that he doesn’t help her with gas money and thinks of her as a taxi and that her car needs repairs and he ought to give her money to fix it. he gave her some “taxi” money, told her he doesn’t need her services, the car is her responsibility to fix, that if she doesn’t have money she should get a job and that it is best that they don’t “see” each other. Joan currently has been writing that her natural father, my father, is dying. He’s dying the same as all of us are. He is not on the deathbed.
Joan ought to be ashamedof her self for misrepresenting our father and his condition.
Joan ought to be ashamed of her self for the way she talks about her adoptive family and in particular her adoptive mother who probably really is on the deathbed.
Joan ought to learn about death and dying. The one thing elderly and the dying don’t need is stress, arguments, being forced to account for their decisions in their lives or have other unsavory conditions placed upon them. Joan is doing much damage here. Shame on you Joan.
Joan is doing soul damage to those who have passed on; like not honoring our mother and her memory and to those that are aging like our father and those that are in the final end of days of their life like her adoptive mother. Shame on you Joan. I work with Hospice. I tend to those that are dying and know what I say here.
Joan is a soul vampire she sucks the energy out of people and eats their souls. You think I jest? Ask anyone in her families, birth or adoption, and they will tell you all kinds of horrors they have suffered. Shame on you Joan.
I can forgive Joan for what she did to my family but only if she can forgive herself is she stops her hatred for others and me. The one thing that forgiveness doesn’t mean is to forget. I shall never forget what she did and therefore shall never trust her again and true to her nature she is still falsely accusing me of things and misrepresenting other situations. There’s a great wisdom: one cannot have a conversation, or a constructive argument, with a drunk or a mentally disturbed person.
Joan get some help and humility before it is too late. Another Heathen wisdom: You Are Your Deeds!
Your sister, Gert