how many titles does JOAN M WHEELER need to let her lousy life story September 2, 2016Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
Tags: abuse, adoption reunion, cowardice, duped by adoption, too many titles
and while she’s at telling her life story she slanders and libels every member of TWO FAMILIES.
Joan Wheeler – what is your solution for kids languishing in orphanages and NO family members are taking in? December 10, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, Lies, mental instability, stupidity, theft
Joan Wheeler hates the institution of adoption so badly that she wants to eradicate adoption from the entire planet of Earth! What an unrealistic idea. But then, Joan has always been unrealistic in her thoughts, deeds and goals.
Joan’s “brilliant” solution for a replacement for the act of adopting an orphan is kinship guardianship. Well, that’s all well and good on the surface – but – what if there is a child who HAS no family left at all? Like a child who’s whole family is wiped out by war or an act of nature (earthquake, flood, etc.) – and there ARE many such babies and children who have experienced this.
OR – as in the case of MY family – when MY mother died, and my father was left with four young children, aged 3 years to 9 years and one three month old infant – extended family members TRIED to help out.
What does Joan propose for a family such as ours? FORCE an aunt or uncle to raise that infant? I believe that is what she wants – because she forced ME to provide Christmas 1989 for HER kids when I did not give birth to them, nor their legal parent or guardian – explanation: Joan stole money from me in the summer of 1989. In September 1989, she agreed to repay me, we were expecting refund checks from a lawyer for his fee (long story) – Joan agreed that when her check came, she would cash it and turn the entire amount over to me to go towards what she owed me. But, the little lying snake that she is, she called me early December 1989 and informed me (did not ask, but INFORMED me) that she was KEEPING all the money to provide Christmas presents for her kids. Never mind that her husband had a job, was working and SHE refused to get off HER ass and get a part time job to provide for her own kids. NO, she saw $$$ that her sister (me) had coming, but her sister (me) was in a two-income relationship, and her sister had a well-paying job, and therefore her sister’s money should be redistributed to JOAN AND HER FAMILY. So, yeah, money was stolen from me, and then never repaid, because JOAN made a decision on how to spend MY money, therefore I was FORCED to provide Christmas for her kids.
Here’s a picture of an orphan child:
What is Joan’s solution for this child?
She wants to eradicate adoption – she thinks that every child should be raised by other family members – um, there were none for this kid – so according to Joan Wheeler, he should stay in the hospital, being raised by nurses until he becomes an adult.
Good solution there Joan Wheeler. – Totally illogical, stupid and inhumane.
Never Trust Anyone Who Always Blames Everyone Else for Everything Wrong in Their Life (like Joan Wheeler does) September 11, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
Tags: abuse, adoption, blaming people for your own mess, embellishing the truth, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, whining
right – if you listen to Joan Wheeler carefully – you will notice that everything bad in her life is because of what OTHER people have done. NOTHING in her life is because of a choice that she herself has made. And if you listen very closely – you will notice that anything bad in her life has been caused by me. I get fucking blamed for everything – even when I’m sleeping and not even thinking of her. – Correction – everything bad in her life happened because she was adopted – after her adoption, everything bad in her life is because of Ruth. Ruth did this, Ruth did that. Then she’ll blame her other birth sisters. I could be under anesthetics, having surgery done, but she’ll still say that at that moment in time – I did something to her.
observation – gosh – it had been almost two years since Joan called my job – for the umpteenth time – to get me fired. She’s slacking! – I wonder what she’ll do when I retire – she’ll have no plaything – her life will be soooo bereft without her 20 year habit of calling my job with false accusations.
UPDATE, APRIL 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…
Joan Wheeler continues to drag me into her useless conversations about adoption problems! August 12, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, blaming people for your own mess, embellishing the truth, gossip, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity
Today, on facebook, Joan writes, in a discussion about a book (not her own piece of shit libelous mouthings of raving lunacy, but somebody else’s book:
Joan M Wheeler (to) Hilbrand W.S. Westra – “you are so very right. I noticed this, too, but didn’t say so publicly as the author is a friend of mine. I think she knows exactly the point you make. And yes, we need to stop pointing fingers at adoptees as the source of our own problems. Adoption itself is the problem from which all others stem. HOWEVER, for many adoptees, like me, who are half orphans or full orphans, one or both of our parents actually did die. That problem was fully discussed by Ken Watson (RIP) at an AAC conference circa 1990. I was dissolved to tears, yet, our good friend, René Hoksbergen nudged me forward to talk with Ken that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings, compounded by adoption soon afterward. And yes, compounded by adopters’ ignorance and willful deception.”
okay, in this discussion that I really don’t have any interest in, – she SLAMS her birth siblings again by saying “…that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings …”
Excuse me Joan, I most certainly do NOT have any lifelong problems due to the death of my mother. WHERE is your evidence that I have lifelong problems? I”M not the one constantly harassing people, YOU are. I’M not the one on Social Security Disability because of “psychological problems” – YOU are. I’M not the one who bounces from man to man and has an alchohol problem – That’s YOU. I’M not the one who has been in therapy for more 30 years – YOU are. — The three times I requested counseling – 1. grief counseling after miscarrying my son, 2. seeking advice on PTSD in Veteran’s, as my husband has nightmares due to his years in Vietnam, and 3. overload of stress in 2003 after my husband’s open heart surgery, and the deaths of 6 family members in rapid succession, beginning in the end of July 2003 to the middle of October 2003 and my father’s open heart surgery two and a half months after my husband’s surgery. In all three times – I went to only THREE therapy sessions, lasting only an hour each time – (three hours of therapy for Ruth, compared to years and years for Joan) – and each therapist told me that I was a well-adjusted person. SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH ABOUT ME JOAN.
Earlier today, in response to a facebook post by the comic magazine Cracked about the suicide of Robin Williams, I wrote the following:
“Cracked.com says: ‘Every time they make a joke around you, they’re doing it because they instinctively and reflexively think that’s what they need to do to make you like them. They’re afraid that the moment the laughter stops, all that’s left is that gross, awkward kid everyone hated on the playground.’
(my response) – well, I was the gross, awkward kid on the playground that nobody liked and everybody bullied. I have scars from the bullying. I just turned 62 and there are times I remember the names and it still hurts. But I took life on and said “fuck this shit.” I turned my ugly duckling younger self – the one the other girls in school called ugly and became a graceful belly dancer. I became a health care worker because I have compassion.
I will never commit suicide, because that would be giving in. I will never poison my body with stupid drugs. I will never turn a gun on myself (or others). I will never hang myself. I try new things. I wish I had more money to try more new things. I want to see more of the world. It’s such a beautiful and exciting world – I want to see Paris, Rome, Athens, Rio de Janieros – the Great Wall of China – the tomb of Tutankhamun –
I’m sorry that Robin took the route he did. I loved him as an actor and comedian. I wish he had not done what he did.”
I also wrote this last night regarding the speculation that Robin Williams depression may have been linked to his heart disease and surgery, and he was feeling vulnerable:
“John had heart surgery in 2003. He was not, is not depressed. Nor does he take drugs, nor does he drink. We both have an occasional beer or wine.
Robin Williams said that he felt “vulnerable.” Not sure what he meant by that. Every surgery can be potentially dangerous. Lots of people go thru surgery every day all over the world.
We can’t be inside another human’s head to figure out what is going on. All I can do is comment from my own experiences. I’ve had several surgeries, and came out not feeling vulnerable. And so has John – and John was scared shitless. Imagine not ever having surgery before – and your very first surgery is heart surgery. Perhaps John has a strong will – after all, he was a Navy Seal in Vietnam for six years. Takes a special kind of man for that job.
Life is tough. Ya gotta meet it head on. Or get plowed under. I refuse to get plowed under. “
AND before learning about Robin Williams’ suicide, I had just written the following rebuttal to actor Russell Brand’s “excuse” for drug abuse:
“I disagree – everybody knows by now how harmful drugs are. You are not born with drugs in your system – YOU made the conscious decision to PUT the drugs into your body. Everybody knows these substances are highly addictive – but, YOU chose to put them into your body. If this “illness” causes you to steal your own mother’s rent money (I know someone on my street who did that) or do the shit my exBFF did to me – and you see these things happening again and again to people in your neighborhood, you read about the theft and violence and greed that taking and selling drugs does not only to the user, but those around them – WHY would you even start taking that shit? I am 62 years old, and outside of smoking some weed, I have NEVER taken drugs, don’t want to take that shit and will never be a drug addict – not even to prescription pain pills, because I take those guys for needed pain relief, then wean myself off that shit.
My body is my temple – the only bad shit I put into it is coffee, pizza and chocolate – IN MODERATION – and they don’t cause me to steal from people, lie to my loved ones, or treat my loved ones like shit.
STAY THE FUCK OFF DRUGS”
The only problems I have right now – are dealing with the fact that Joan REFUSES to stop dragging me into her crap. – Shut the fuck up about me Joan.
This is what I live by – NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER. Joan on the other hand, dissolves into tears, gets the shakes, is overwhelmed, is stunned, is shocked and runs to the bottle. (her own words in her stupid book and on various places on the internet).
And check out this other recent development from Joan’s lying mouth.
Lesson for Joan Wheeler – Never try to destroy someone’s life with a lie when yours could be destroyed by the truth. July 7, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, false accusations, LIBEL, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, stupidity
So Joan – WHERE is your precious book? WHERE is your career as a big-time speaker at adoption conferences? – I’ll tell you where – IN THE TOILET!
Because you sought to destroy my life with your asshole lies – YOU got caught with the shit in your face – you didn’t count on the fact that I would keep the court documents that had the FACTS and the TRUTH behind our history. You sought to change that history. And it blew up in your face.
And the same thing will happen with your “new revised” book. Because, you asshole – the FACTS and the TRUTH can NOT be revised.
Never fear – when you read something from Ruth and Gert – you are reading the FACTS and the TRUTH – cos we back up what we say with PROOF. I have plastered this blog with scans of letters, court documents, photographs, even scans of weather reports from old newspapers to refute the LIES that Joan Wheeler puts out about MY life and GERT’S life.
What proof does Joan Wheeler put out? – NOTHING! Not once have I seen ONE lousy picture, scan of a letter, ANYTHING that would prove that ANYTHING that she says is a FACT or a TRUTH.
UPDATE OCTOBER 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!
this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.
check them out
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, Disrespect, harassment, Lies, mental illness, mental instability
I don’t know how many of my readers are aware of the youtube video of a woman going off on a racist rant in Cheektowaga, New York. Cheektowaga is a suburb of Buffalo, NY, and the incident took place at the Airport Plaza, about 3 miles from my home. I don’t know the woman and I’m glad I don’t. I don’t know the man she was screaming at either.
The incident occurred on Friday, May 30, 2014. The man started his van, startling the woman’s son. The woman started yelling at the man that he scared her son. She then proceeded to call him a “n” – yes – the N word that shows clearly she is a racist. The man picked up his cell phone and began filming her – and she kept insulting him, turning her back on him while she got on her cell phone to call someone. All the while she kept calling the man “N” and then says she doesn’t like black people and her children don’t either. Then she gets her children to swear at him. The children are very young, and while their mother is busy with her racist rant, begin to show signs of shock, confusion, and being frightened.
The man in the van calmly tells the woman “great, now you have your children swearing at me.” and continues to video the woman. The woman, is talking to someone on her cell phone but telling the black guy it’s the police, the children’s father, her husband, and her lawyer – she can’t seem to make up her mind who she is talking to.
She’s also taking in non-sequitor (nonsensical) statements. Nowhere does the black man say he knows the police, but she starts yelling/talking to whoever on her cell phone “Oh HE knows the cops. How many cops have I stripped for?”
She’s worked herself up into a rage and threatens to throw hot coffee on the man, who then rolls up the window of his van, but then lowers it. Meanwhile, she’s still ranting and raving.
In the story published in The Buffalo News, published on June 5, 2014, the man says he was shocked by how her anger escalated.
The man did post the video to youtube, and the woman called a talk radio and identified herself and said she was bi-polar. Because she identified herself, some people tracked down her address and put it on the internet. Rocks were being thrown at her house, her children threatened. AND Child Protective Services took her children away earlier this week. I don’t know the reasons why – probably because in the video she is neglecting them, telling them to call a strange man names and basically put them in danger because of her stupid behavior.
Now we can get into the discussion of race, and the responsibilites and consequences of a parents actions another time. And I’ve been debating this on the facebook page of WGRZ-TV, a local news station that did a story on this earlier this week. And on the youtube channel that put out this video.
What I want to discuss here – is how this woman’s behavior mirrors that of a person that I know very well – the person of whom this blog is about – Joan Wheeler.
But first – let’s take a look at this now famous video – it went viral, and by this evening (Friday, June 6, 2014) and had 7 million views.
So, have you watched it? I hope you did, because otherwise you won’t understand what I am going to say.
Notice in the beginning of the video, not the beginning of the incident, because the young man didn’t do anything wrong, only started his car, and has this white woman begin calling him racist names, and then starts the video. Because of what happened to Trayvon Martin in Florida, and a couple of recent police brutality cases in Buffalo, one involving a young black man, I’m sure this man’s instinct was to get documentation of what was happening.
The woman is merely being a dumbass making a racist comment. Soon she works herself up into a rage and is fairly frothing at the mouth when she walks up to the man’s van and gets into his face and insults him again.
The man is not getting out of his car, not getting into a screaming match with her, but trying calmly to get his point across – that racism is alive and well in Cheektowaga – and every time he says something – she tries to shut him down.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT JOAN WHEELER DOES! EVERYTHING THE WOMAN IN THE VIDEO IS SHOWN DOING IS EXACTLY WHAT JOAN WHEELER DOES – I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN HER IN ACTION!
The conversation starts out fairly civilized, but once Joan sees that you disagree with her, or are not obeying her – she begins to get agitated. Begins the swearing and screaming. You stand there, not believing what has just happened. She’s now frothing at the mouth and screaming so hard you can’t get a word in edgewise. If you are on the phone with her – the rant ends by Joan slamming the phone on you – leaving you shaking in anger and shock.
As to the non-sequitar statement made on the video about the man knowing cops and she strips for cops – Joan also does this. Out of the clear blue sky, Joan will say something and you don’t know what the hell she is talking about.
The woman in the video called a radio talk show and said she is bi-polar. Well so is Joan. And? So we are supposed to take this kind of verbal abuse because THEY are bi-polar?
On November 3, 2009, I called Joan on the phone to tell her that our Aunt Doris had died. I didn’t know Joan’s phone number, so I called my father. Knowing that a few months prior to this, he had kicked Joan out of his house and life, I didn’t know if he still had her phone number. So I called him up and asked him. He sounded tired and I said that I would call Joan and tell her about Aunt Doris. He gave me the number and I called her.
Me: “Joan, this is Ruth.”
Joan: “how did you get this number?”
Me: “from Dad.”
Joan: “NOT a good idea.”
Me: “Whatever. Anyway, I’m calling to tell you that Aunt Doris died the other day and I thought you should know.”
(now up to this point, both me and Joan are talking calmly, although she was a bit snippy when she said that it was NOT a good idea that Dad had given me the number). We continue with the conversation —
Joan: “Thank you for that, (calmly), — BUT YOU HAVE NO FUCKING %$$#&**(^^%% (now she’s yelling and I can’t even make out what she’s saying) AND FUCK YOU AND #$%$%^&&^%%$#@!!!!!!”
What did the Buffalo News say about the young man making the video? That he was shocked by how the woman’s anger escalated? Well, that was I how I felt when I was being subjected to this barrage of verbal abuse! I still had my email from our Uncle Rich telling me that Aunt Doris (not his wife, but his late brother’s ex-wife) had passed. I remember staring at Doris’ name (Joan’s birth name was Doris, named for Aunt Doris, and that’s why I thought, no, KNEW that it was important that Joan be told of her passing. Silly me, I didn’t think that I would get this kind of thanks). I kept staring at my computer screen and hearing Joan going off on a rampage. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO WRONG??? I actually burst into tears, but Joan did not hear me crying, because she was too busy yelling unintelligible insults at me. I finally did hear and understand something about “AND YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY SISTER…!!!”
It was at this point I yelled back at her – “BITCH – YOU DON’T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD SISTER!” and hung up on her.
What Joan Wheeler did to me on that day was bully me by subjecting me to verbal abuse. And I will not tolerate it. I don’t care what your problem is – bi-polar, whatever – YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO ABUSE OTHER PEOPLE THEN USE YOUR ILLNESS AS AN EXCUSE!
Get your ass on meds and get the hell away from me and other people who are simply going about their lives.
JOAN WHEELER USES THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY MOTHER’S DEATH TO THROW ANOTHER DIG AT HER BIRTHSISTERS March 27, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, emotional abuse
JOAN WHEELER USES THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY MOTHER’S DEATH TO THROW ANOTHER DIG AT HER BIRTHSISTERS
As usual, Joan has to exploit my mother’s death.
Read what she wrote on her facebook today, March 27, 2014. (mind you the anniversary of my mother’s death is March 28).
at around 11am, Joan writes:
Fifty-eight years ago today, my mother died. She was 30 years old. Mom left behind her husband of 10 years, age 31. Mom left behind five children: me, age 3 months; my sister, age 3; my brother, age 6; my sister, age, 8; my oldest sister, age 9. Mom’s death started a cascading set of events that led to my father relinquishing me to adoption. While I had the idyllic “happy” childhood that this “wonderful better life” provided for me, what happened from 1974 to now has been a life of hell. I cannot for one second say that all things happen for a reason. I do not know why my Mother died. God did not will this. This was not Devine Intervention. This was cancer. Genetic mutations. Nature. Nothing more. Today is the hardest day of the year. I want my Mother. The deaths of all my parents from January, February, and two in March… Two mothers died in March, different years. So today, this is my Mother’s Day. For Genevieve Herr Sippel. I love you, Mom.
and then an hour later, around noon, she writes.
Wow. Did I make a big blunder or what? Yeah. Grief does that to a person. The anniversary of mom’s death is tomorrow. I can’t think straight. Too overwhelmed. Two mothers dying in March is one too many. is it any wonder why I can’t “get my facts straight” as my sisters pound it into my head. Yeah, I missed it by one day. While the death anniversary of my adoptive mother was March 12. Thank you, Christine Monahan.. I wish you could get up to San Fran — want to meet this amazing woman in the flesh!!!!
So, as usual, I’m sleeping then come on the internet to find that I’m raked over the coals for something I didn’t do or say. I woke up at 12:20pm, come downstairs, have my coffee, watch Young and the Restless then turn on the computer, write a brief note to the person who does my schedule at work, go on the internet and see that I and my sisters are vilified because of Joan’s mistake.
Um, Joan – was this truly a sentimental post about you missing your mother? Cos you sure USED it as a big chance to stick it to me, my family and everybody else who made your life a hell from 1974. THIS IS WHY WE DON’T WANT YOU AROUND – YOU JUST CANNOT STOP THE SHIT CAN YOU? AND USING MY MOTHER AND HER DEATH AS A VEHICLE FOR YOUR SHIT!
Joan also writes that she is in a new relationship and he’s a secret for now. Who cares? But – Gert called it – the other day, when another disparaging comment appeared on her blog – and this is typical Joan-manipulation-tactics – she gets involved with a man, sobs her heart out what rotten bitches her sisters are, gets them to come to our blogs to insult us, then sits back to watch this new puppet attack us – while she keeps her hands all squeaky clean. Well, as I said who cares? If this new fella starts harassing me – he will go the way all her other puppets have – thrown to the curb by Joan when the heat gets turned up.
some facebook remarks by Gert and me —
Gert: as I said in some tweets…Joan in her hysteria does NOT help our mother’s soul. Joan is a drama queen always looking for attention…She’s been in ‘seclusion’ BECAUSE she’s got a new MAN, she picked up at a bar…that’s where they all come from. Last june she met ‘the love of her life’ in a bar…when to NM and found out he was a drunk, she was lamenting online in January of THIS YEAR about him and here it’s MARCH and she’s GOT ANOTHER SUCKER, who left a nasty comment on a blog post of mine! He’s going to be another Russ and Brian.
Joan has NO sense of the divine, she refuses to acknowledge her tiny self in the vast universe and until she does she will ALWAYS have these mental sicknesses and mental disturbances that cause her sadness and grief. Sorry…her kind of grief is NOT grief…it’s attention getting. Joan was NOT the only child who’s MOTHER DIED. Remember those that have passed over with fondness…NOT with exploitation means…Joan knows nothing about TRUE honoring of one’s parents.
Ruth: why o why can Joan not post pictures of mom, like I did, and just leave it at that? she can’t – cos she’s a perpetual garbage mouth.
A letter I wrote to Joan Wheeler, 10 years before her book came out- warning her not use my name or picture – and the bitch did it anyway. March 26, 2014Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, Disrespect, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity, whining
I just found a gem of a letter that I wrote to Joan in April 1999 – to answer the bitch’s letter to me in February 1999 that my then fiancé (now husband) John got the next door neighbor pregnant. Pay close attention to the paragraph that I highlighted in bold – I told her back in 1999 that she did not have permission to use my name or likeness in her book – 10 years later, in 2009, she may have changed my name, but she left plenty of clues as to my name AND USED MY PICTURE ON THE BACK OF HER BOOK – and that is why her book got pulled from publication.
Ms. Joan Wheeler
1 C Drive,
Kenmore, New York 14223
April 20, 1999,
My Dear Joni,
I think that there a couple of things that need to be clarified. First, the notion that you have that I am wallowing in bitterness and negativity regarding the death of my mother and your existence.
I do not nor have I ever blamed you for Mom’s death. When we found you I was truly happy. And to this day there are times I truly miss you. I miss the good times we had going to the beach, and two or three years ago, when Channel 17 showed a Moody Blues concert I thought that it would have been great watching it with you. I cried because I couldn’t.
I don’t know why you tend to get things mixed up. The first time I called you (the famous “bowling” call), it was at 2 P.M. from a dental office in the Brisbane Building that Gert worked at. It was a Tuesday. The dentist Gert worked for always took Tuesday afternoons off, but Gert had clerical work to do. I was neither drunk, nor panicky when I called you, and I did not end the call with a bunch of giggles. I remember practically every word I said to you as if I had just placed the call five minutes ago.
And yes, I did not take very good care of Mom’s wedding dress in the beginning. But you did not return it by throwing it at my feet and yelling at me. And the year you returned it was 1983, not 1978. And I never got the beads back. So if I originally did not take good care of the dress, you also had a hand in “disrespecting” it.
Where did you get the idea that my grandfather molested and murdered his first born son Richard? Who told you that? If anyone did, they are lying. Richard died of diptheria.
And the idea that my father molested us? Where does this stuff come from? Let me set you straight right here and now, MY FATHER DID NOT MOLEST ME OR MY SISTERS. Kathy kicked him in the balls because that is the most effective place to kick a guy. And that was because Dad stormed into our bedroom with his “Big Daddy” routine. Kathy was getting dressed. She had on slacks and was starting to put on her blouse and yelled at Dad because he saw her in her bra. He yelled back at her “I made you, I can look at you. Now get downstairs and clean up that mess.” Dad was too mad to be thinking about her boobs!
The evening before, our brother Butch was on the phone with his friend George. Kathy came in and wanted to use the phone. Butch said no, cause the last time she said it was important, she ended up calling her girlfriend Pat and told her some new gossip about the Beatles. This time, Butch refused to give up the phone. Kathy reached over and tried to hang up the hook on the wall phone. Butch got up and the next thing you know, the two of them were going at it. John and I were watching from the dining room, George heard it over the phone. Dishes were broken, food ended up on the floor. Then Kathy stormed out of the house. Shortly afterwards, Butch left too, leaving me and John with the mess. Which of course, we did not touch. When Dad came home, we told him what happened and when the guilty parties came home, they were told that they were going to get up the next morning at 6:00 and clean it up. And sure enough, 6:00 the next morning (a Saturday), Dad came upstairs and woke Kathy up. She got up, went to the bathroom and came back upstairs. She was taking her time getting dressed, I could hear Dad downstairs yelling at her to get down there and clean the mess up. I didn’t see him, but Butch tells me that at this point, he was already in the kitchen cleaning. Kathy kept dawdling, Dad was getting madder and madder and that’s when he came up to our room.
Since you were raised as an only child, the above scenario would seem alien to you. But it happens all the time when you get brothers and sisters together. Real life ain’t like The Brady Bunch. I remember our cousins Gail and Norman going at it too! And since I spent so much time there, I was involved in a few brawls with them. One time Aunt Catherine broke in the bathroom door after Gail locked herself in to avoid a thrashing.
It is my understanding that you plan to use my true name and photograph in your book. Well, I am hereby serving you notice that if you do, and you keep that reference of me being drunk when I called, you will be served with a lawsuit for invading my privacy and portraying me as a drunk. You do not nor have ever had my permission to use my name or like ness. And you had better not even of publishing that garbage about my grandfather and father. I don’t like it one bit when I find that strangers are reading that my grand father is a murderer and my father is a molestor. There is no truth to these “speculations” of yours and that is just what they are-speculations of your warped mind.
You were hopping mad when two doctors wrote an article about your daughter’s medical condition in a medical journal, claiming that your privacy was invaded. You want YOUR privacy protected, but what about Gert and Kathy’s privacy? It is up to THEM to tell anyone about their childhood NOT YOU! And what about MY privacy? Who gave you the right to send a “detailed family history” (your version of it) to Commissioner Deborah Merrifield of Social Services? Where was MY privacy when you wrote to the Director of Patient Accounts of Buffalo General Hospital and told him MY personal medical history and MY marital status? What do those two things have to do with YOUR erroneous hospital bill? And where do you get off repeatedly calling my place of employment trying to get me fired? Your phone calls were described to me as “bizarre.” I told everyone, “Of course they’re bizarre, they’re coming from a bizarre person.”
And of course your scheme to break me and John up certainly didn’t work. What did you think to accomplish when you dragged his mother in it? My future mother-in-law sees you for what you are-a trouble-making idiot.
I must hand it to you though, you gave it a good try by calling child abuse on yourself and naming my fiance as the perpetrator, hoping that I would get blamed for the call. Your mistake was that you went overboard by writing letters to the mayor of Buffalo, and other elected officials. I simply sat back and watched you hang yourself. I don’t need to do anything to you, you seem quite capable of digging your own grave.
A relationship of any kind is two-way, not one-way, and that way being YOUR way whether we like it or not. Your attitude has always been, “This is how it will be. Take it or leave it.” And that is exactly what I and so many others have done. We chose not to take it, and left. How many friendships have you destroyed throughout the years? Well, you can add two more to the ever growing list of people who cared about you, had enough of your bullshit and lies, and have broken off their friendship to you. Those being my fiance John and your friend on Balzac Court. No, I did not “badmouth” you, nor did I tell you to put her address on a bullshit letter you sent to my house. You destroyed that friendship all by yourself. Again, you are own worst enemy. And that is the real reason our reunion went sour, not because of some complex psychological feelings of guilt and shame from our dysfunctional childhood, nor feelings of jealousy that you had a secure home growing up while we did not. We simply grew tired of putting up with your rotten behavior. Your behavior is unacceptable and can not and will not be tolerated. Your behavior has cost you the very thing you wanted-your birth family. And don’t try to get yourself off the hook by saying that it wasn’t you who initiated the search, but that it was Gert and me who brought you something you did not want. You had already made the conscious decision when you turned 18, to search for your birth family. You wanted us just as much as we wanted you. It truly is a shame that our lost sister, despite growing up in a stable home environment did not learn the moral values that we did. I am not saying that I’m Miss Goody Two-Shoes. I’ve done a lot of stuff in my life, but nothing compared to your evil plotting, lies, and thefts. I’d bet Shadya is happy that she had to contend with me and Fran and not you. Anything that we did to Shadya pales in comparison to what you have done. We never once called her job and tried to get her fired, or frame her so that she would get arrested or hauled into court on some bullshit “harassment” charges. And we never made off with 900 bucks of hers!
I especially love the time when after I told you in December 1990 that I wanted nothing more to do with you, you had the nerve to call and leave a message on my answering machine saying that money shouldn’t come between sisters. YOU who had only worked a few temporary jobs, and those not very hard ones either are going to lecture ME about MY hard-earned money! I bust my ass at my job. Many times I have to drag myself home on the bus with my feet and back killing me. I have pulled my back out 4 times and in June of 1997, I was out on disability because I was assaulted (kicked in the neck) by a confused patient. And the money you STOLE was not even my money. I had borrowed that money from the credit card, and had to work my ass off to pay it back, going with out a car, because YOU helped yourself to the money to fix YOUR car. When my car broke, I did not have the money to fix it, all my paychecks went to pay back the bank for the borrowed $900.00 you stole. And when dear old Uncle John got laid off, and we did not have the money to pay our electric bill, they shut our electricity off. I called you to beg you for some money-THE MONEY YOU STOLE FROM ME-and you kept hanging up on me, then LIED and said that I hung up on you!
Then used that lie to press bullshit harassment charges on me. This is how you treat your sister that you “love” and your “dear” friend and “uncle” John to your children, a “member of your family.” Remember, HIS electricity was turned off too, and the years we went without a car and could not buy another because I was paying off a debt that I shouldn’t have had to, I was out in the cold waiting for buses too. But you don’t care about that do you? You only care about JONI’S discomfort and JONI’S happiness and to hell with everyone else!
And then you start the bullshit again last month by lovingly informing me that my fiance got my next door neighbor pregnant and they had a baby girl in June 1994. Well, the only two newborns from that house in the past ten years were BOYS. The first, D.J.,born in 1992, looks exactly like his Dad, Danny. The second, Jesse, was born in 1995. I was working the night he was born, and I held him at 5:00 in the morning, just hours after his birth. Charlene and I were oohing and aahing over his little pee-pee. I guarantee, Jesse was a BOY not a girl. Did you really think that John would remain your friend after you told such a lie about him? Open mouth and insert foot, Joni.
I was recently informed that some time ago, you tried to engage a “hitman” to kill me. What a sweet loving sister you are! This is how you show that you love me? In the letters you sent me in the beginning of March you say that you love me, yet you threaten my life? Could this possibly be the reason why I don’t like you? Go ahead, whine some more that me and my sisters don’t like you. To quote you from your letter dated March 1999, “For some reason you don’t like me.” Yeah, I really like people who threaten my life. I’m such a masochist, what can I say? I like people who steal close to $900.00 from me and tell lies about me. NOT!
I have already informed the District Attorney about the threat you made against my life. They can’t do anything at the present time, because it is only hearsay. But they are well aware of your threat, your harassing letters to me and other people, your attitude to various police agencies, and your false claims of having an arrest warrant for our cousin, (????), lies about me being convicted of harassment, of me being placed on probation, and you having an Order of Protection against me. I was NOT convicted or placed on probation. If you’re so smart, provide me with the name of my “probation officer.” You can’t come up with a name because I was never placed on probation. The judge merely told me to leave you alone for six months as a condition of dismissal. I left you alone, and the case against me was summarily dis- missed. The judge did give you an Order of Protection and the district attorney’s office did not like it one bit that YOU called MY house, two months after the judge told me to leave you alone. As usual, Joan does what SHE wants to do. You get the judge to tell me to leave YOU alone, but then you think that you can turn around and call and bother ME.
And since you don’t have an Order of Protection against me, I can drive down any street I want. Who died and left you boss, telling me I can’t drive on certain streets. I don’t know how you or your son “saw” me driving past your house since I did not have a car. I do now, and I’ll drive where I damn well please. Unless you bought the car or pay for the insurance and maintainence, you have no say on where I drive my car.
Oh, by the way, I was investigated by the district attorneys last month in conjunction to my complaint against you. I found out about it from someone I’m close to. I wel- come investigations, because I don’t break the law or make an idiot of myself like you do. I have nothing to hide. If I were you, I’d pray that nothing suspicious ever happens to me or John, because you will be the first person the district attorney will question. In closing let me thank you for providing me with an ad- dress last month that proved very rewarding to me. The gods above are indeed looking out for me. A couple of years after you and Colby made off with the $900, I was still fussing. John’s cousin Chuckie told me “Let it go. You’ll get the money back another way.” And I did. I hit the lottery twice, once with the three digit, and once with the four digit daily numbers for a total of $900.00. I also got a couple of hun- dred dollars from the scratch-off tickets. (I still have the payout receipts). And now, nine years later, I have been rewarded again with two things that I have been wanting a long time. My thanks to you because without the letters you sent me in March, they would not have come to be. YOU pro-vided the means by which I profited.
Goodbye, from your sister who truly does love and miss you, but realizes that your moral values are so different from mine, that we can never have a relationship again. Ruth
ps. I have the guts to put my name on a letter that I write. If you don’t have the courage and honor to sign your name and stand by what you say, then don’t bother saying it. But then again, since it was all a bunch of lies, it’s no wonder you were ashamed to put your name to it. You have proven again and again that you are nothing but a thief and a liar. As to the old saying “How do you sleep at night?” Well, maybe all the “anxiety attacks” that cause you to wake up at night screaming is really your conscience bothering you. I, on theother hand sleep very soundly. And very soundly indeed.
pps. When a “woman professional” (since when, you don’t even have a job, let alone a profession), writes a letter of complaint to a another woman professional, she doesn’t call her a bitch and tell her that she (the recipient of the complaint) almost got slapped in the face. That simply is just not done. It is most unseemly. Oh, now I get your profession! Professional student and welfare slob. You’ve only been going to school for the last twenty years. Your other job must be professional troublemaker and liar.
Now act like the spoiled little brat that you are and call up Daddy and whine: “Daaaddy, Ruth wrote me a leeetter, Daaaddy.” “I”m gonna tell Daddy on you Ruth, NYAH, NYAH” To quote you: “ACT YOUR AGE!”
Go ahead, whine some more at me “you don’t like me.”
NOTE from Gert…
see my post about letter exchange I had with Joan
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, false accusations, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, STUPIDITY STUPIDITY STUPIDITY
I haven’t been to my blogs for a couple of weeks. I’ve been having problems with my primary hotmail email. And I’m not the only one. – You should read some of the posts people have been putting on Outlook’s (Hotmail’s alternate name) facebook page. – Apparently they added a new security feature, and they didn’t program it correctly. When I first couldn’t get into my primary email, I was afraid that my account had been hacked. It turned out it hadn’t been, it was the programmer’s doing some bullshit. And the problem is still there. Four days ago, I got a message via my secondary email account from “Jennifer” and she says they are giving my complaint “the highest priority.” – and here it is – four days later and I see where my account was really given the “hightest priority.” roflmao! There is a way to bypass their stupid added screen – but you have to go thru SIX different screens to get to your inbox! So now I have to go thru the tedious job of clearing out an account that I have had for years – and transfer things over to a new email that I have set up. – dam you Hotmail.
Anyway – I want to bring up some old business from January 2013 about Joan Wheeler. I blogged about the topic of hacked accounts in my blog post of January 14, 2013 – “Joan Wheeler falsely accuses me of something I didn’t do – YET AGAIN – this time of hacking into somebody’s Twitter account”
Here is a couple of sentences from that blog post:
A couple of weeks ago, a woman who follows Joan or is followed by Joan on twitter, had her account hacked. The hacker then sent a spam to Joan Wheeler via a direct Twitter message.
Joan then says on Twitter to this woman, S.Y. – Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily to @slyoung50 Hi! Received a Direct Mess from you about a link; it was spam. I s your accounthacked? IF you get spammed by my sisters, tell me”
See, whenever something goes wrong in Joan’s life – SHE AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMES IT WAS ME THEN GOES PUBLIC WITH HER STUPID RIDICULOUS ASSUMPTIONS AND ACCUSES ME OF SHIT I DIDN’T DO!
In contrast, when I first began having problems with my email, and was frightened that my email had been hacked – I contacted microsoft (who oversees hotmail and outlook email services) to report the problem and request assistance. I DID NOT FALSELY ACCUSE ANYONE OF HACKING INTO MY ACCOUNT. – by the way, the title of this blog post is for shock value and to get your attention. I know damn well Joan did NOT hack into my email – but I want her to know what it feels like to be minding your own business and then find out you’ve been accused of doing something you didn’t do. – I mean, I’ll be sleeping and when I wake up, I go on the internet and find out that I did this or that – WHILE I’VE BEEN SLEEPING.
Gods, I wish someone would cut Joan’s tongue out cut off her hands so she can’t type – I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF BEING ACCUSED OF DOING THINGS I HAVEN’T DONE. – Joan – just shut your fucking mouth!
Gert here… like the title of this post! Shock value has a purpose! If Joan can do so can we! Joan has this nasty habit of accusing people of things they never dreamed of doing! The last time I spoke with Joan, via phone, was sometime in 2005 or so, BECAUSE I wanted to end the negative feelings between us. I didn’t have her phone #, I asked my father to phone her! She spoke nicely to me, told me about her life etc, said she LOVED me. But…it was all an act on her part. In the libelous book she wrote and published in Dec 2009 she said that I WAS FISHING FOR INFORMATION FROM HER and how DISGUSTED she was that I called her AND how SHE KNEW BETTER THAN TO TRUST ME. Yep, watch out if you have ANY kind of dealings with Joan Wheeler…she makes shit up in her head!
lol. right Gert – I remember the time she went after our cousin Ray – she went to have her windshield fixed and the two of them got to talking and Ray invited her to his house for dinner (because she’s his long-lost cousin, that sort of thing). Well, when his aunt, our cousin Gail, found out – she told Ray all the harassments that Joan was doing to me and her and basically told Ray to stay away from Joan. And he started distancing himself from Joan. Now, I’m getting on with MY life, and I’m not knowing a dam thing as to what the hell was going on – and all of a sudden, I get this fucking letter from Joan (what part of DO NOT CONTACT ME JOAN, didn’t she get?) – anyway, in this letter she says, “I know that you and Gail and Ray and Fran are plotting against me.” I’m thinking “what the hell is this about? I haven’t seen Ray for YEARS! And with both Gail and me working night shift, I haven’t talked to Gail for a long time. So I call Fran up and tell her to come over. We’re eating lunch, and I’m reading Fran this stupid ridiculous letter – and when I got to the part that she’s been named as a co-conspirator, she actually choked on her food – and when she could talk, she said, “but — but — I never even met your cousin Ray.” This is what Gert means when she says about Joan: “She makes shit up in her head.” PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE – WOULD SOMEBODY PERFORM A LOBOTOMY ON JOAN WHEELER????
And what was the outcome of Ray’s distancing himself from Joan – she went after him – she called his boss and lied that he did a bad job on her windshield – she LIED TO HIS BOSS TO GET HIM IN TROUBLE ON HIS JOB! JUST LIKE SHE’S BEEN DOING TO ME – SHE HAS CALLED MY JOB SEVERAL TIMES WITH FALSE ACCUSATIONS AND LIES IN EFFORTS TO GET ME FIRED. JOAN WHEELER IS A FLAT-OUT BITCH, TROUBLEMAKER AND A LIAR AND ONE DAY HER SHIT IS GOING TO COME TO HER AND GET HER.
Lesson for Joan Wheeler – lying about people won’t make you happy. February 7, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, LIBEL, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths
It’s impossible to build one’s own happiness on the unhappiness of others.
So true. So what did you think to accomplish when you published that filthy book full of lies Joan? Yes, you accomplished SOMETHING – you hurt me again and again. Every time I turned a page and read another filthy lie about me – I actually was walking in circles in my kitchen crying when I read your twisting of facts, your put-downs of me being a prospective mother, your disgusting stabbing me in the back twenty years after I got over the initial anger of your dirty deeds to me –
BUT what else did it get you? Your biggest dream (actually an unrealistic fantasy) was that your book was going to be a million dollar best seller and either a TV movie or a Hollywood blockbuster book was going to made of your book – and you would be set for life.
And because you blatantly lied about events in MY life – and I had documented proof of those lies (actual police and court documents, your own harassing letters to me and the envelopes they came in) – YOUR LIES WERE EXPOSED.
Proof of your lies – libel – was sent to the publisher and your book was pulled.
You said once on an internet forum, about two years, ago, that you “wasted 30 years of my life writing a book.” That’s right honey, you did. But you got part of that wrong – you didn’t waste 30 years of your life writing a book – you wasted 30 years of your life TRYING TO KILL OTHER PEOPLE’S HAPPINESS!
What did you think to accomplish when you were harassing me? Did you honestly think my relationship with John would go down the tubes when you sent that lying letter to me saying he got the next door neighbor pregnant? What really happened is that when I showed him the letter – he was disgusted with you. You always claimed you honored him as friend. HA! Well that’s one friend who hates you now.
What did you think to accomplish when you repeatedly called my job in 1994-95 with false accusations of me? And did it again in November 2012? Did you really think I would get fired? – HA! Not only was I NOT fired (because I am innocent of your bullshit lies), but my job now knows you as a freak – a crackpot who has nothing better to do with her time than lie about innocent people.
One other thing that was accomplished Joan – when the truth of your lies were exposed by this blog and Gert’s blog – YOUR REPUTATION IN THE ADOPTION REFORM ACTIVIST COMMUNITY IS NOW SEVERELY COMPROMISED.
And you have only yourself to blame. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you pick up the phone and call my job. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you sent me that lying letter about John. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you type out all those lies in your book.
YOU DID ALL THAT BY YOURSELF. ARE YOU HAPPY JOAN? NO? aww, too bad.
Gert here…yep…Joan’s lies and dirty deeds have become apparent to even those in the adoption reform movement! TRUTH always out wins lies! Joan should have learned how to ‘bury the bodies’ when she decided to KILL HER KIN FOLK! Oh sure, she led a great charge against her kin, when we first learned of her, 30 years in the making, masterpiece! Where’s all those angry adoptees today? Not by Joan’s side. There been a couple of new books on the adoption topics these days and none of them INCLUDE Joan Wheeler! Even the most vocal of the activists do not want to share the printed venue with Joan! She’s now trying to break into a new field…online therapy! Yep! good luck on that!
Gert here again… I was just reading some blog posts and found a comment that Joan left about Joe Soll! Okay Joe just FOUND his mother! Great news, that’s nice for him, but Joan, takes any opportunity for someone else’s spot light to pour out her bullshit that means nothing! In that lying book Joan wrote she USED Joe Soll. I had email exchange with the man and he DENIED what she wrote in the book, we have blogged about this…YET Joan acts as if she is CLEAN… here’s the comment she left…with ALL HER usual misspellings, she can’t even honor her friends with checking her spelling! Her sweetness makes me want to puke! Anyone who can do shit, like she did to her own KIN, and then speak false sweetness and false ‘peace’ to strangers, only proves to the world what a fool she is.
@forbiddenfamily · 2 weeks ago Back then, in the late 80s, Jow began organizing the Marches on Washington. I was there fro three of them. Saddens me that he could have met his mother at the time. So sorry for that loss. But very happy indeed for the wonderful news of NOW! releived for the man who helped so many of us. Knowing you, dear friend, has meant so much for me. May you now know some inner peace.
and have you ever noticed that Joan always talks about the 70s, 80s, 90s she is a HAS BEEN! She has DONE NOTHING IN RECENT HISTORY or currently, cause she’s a liar!
In this post – we show Mr. Joe Soll’s email to Gert, in which he says “I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/”
AdoptionHealing.com – AdoptionCrossroads.org – EvilExchange.com” To: Gert Mcqueen Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM Subject: Re: fact finding request, please I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.
here is Joe’s entire email, in which he had copied and pasted Gert’s question and provided an answer:
From: “Joe Soll, LCSW – AdoptionHealing.com – AdoptionCrossroads.org – EvilExchange.com” To: Gert Mcqueen
Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM Subject: Re: fact finding request, please
I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.
Also, in her book, Joan relays a phone conversation with you, pg 311, regarding these alleged letters in which she writes that you did indeed receive them and that you had spoken with Joan about them
(Joe answers): This is patently false.
If you do not have access to her book, but wish to see the pages I am referring, I would gladly snail you copies if you would provide me an address. My sisters and I would greatly apprecitate it if you could shed light on this for us and yourself.
(Joe answers): I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/
Feel free to contact me further
Be well, 조살
So, MISS BIG-SHOT ADOPTION REFORMER JOAN WHEELER, WHO FANTASIZED THAT HER BOOK WAS GOING TO BE A REVOLUTION IN THE ADOPTION REFORM COMMUNITY DOESN’T EVEN GET HER BOOK SEEN BY ONE OF THOSE ADOPTION EXPERTS!
to reiterate what Mr. Joe Soll said about her book:
“I do not need to see the book,”
that means, that when he sent that email, May 2010, he had not seen the book yet, nor would he ever, because he was made aware that Joan LIED about him in the book. And he will NEVER see it, because it is dead – having been pulled from publication because of the LIES Joan put in it.