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NEW POST power play and/or trauma July 24, 2016

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Gert here…

it’s always a good idea to keep on eye on my blog for new posts…

here’s the latest

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2016/07/21/is-it-another-power-play-by-joan-m-wheeler-this-time-to-take-mirahs-place-andor-is-there-really-trauma-in-being-adopted/

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Joan Wheeler – what is your solution for kids languishing in orphanages and NO family members are taking in? December 10, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
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Joan Wheeler hates the institution of adoption so badly that she wants to eradicate adoption from the entire planet of Earth! What an unrealistic idea. But then, Joan has always been unrealistic in her thoughts, deeds and goals. 

Joan’s “brilliant” solution for a replacement for the act of adopting an orphan is kinship guardianship. Well, that’s all well and good on the surface – but – what if there is a child who HAS no family left at all? Like a child who’s whole family is wiped out by war or an act of nature (earthquake, flood, etc.) – and there ARE many such babies and children who have experienced this. 

OR – as in the case of MY family – when MY mother died, and my father was left with four young children, aged 3 years to 9 years and one three month old infant – extended family members TRIED to help out.  

What does Joan propose for a family such as ours? FORCE an aunt or uncle to raise that infant? I believe that is what she wants – because she forced ME to provide Christmas 1989 for HER kids when I did not give birth to them, nor their legal parent or guardian – explanation: Joan stole money from me in the summer of 1989. In September 1989, she agreed to repay me, we were expecting refund checks from a lawyer for his fee (long story) – Joan agreed that when her check came, she would cash it and turn the entire amount over to me to go towards what she owed me. But, the little lying snake that she is, she called me early December 1989 and informed me (did not ask, but INFORMED me) that she was KEEPING all the money to provide Christmas presents for her kids. Never mind that her husband had a job, was working and SHE refused to get off HER ass and get a part time job to provide for her own kids. NO, she saw $$$ that her sister (me) had coming, but her sister (me) was in a two-income relationship, and her sister had a well-paying job, and therefore her sister’s money should be redistributed to JOAN AND HER FAMILY. So, yeah, money was stolen from me, and then never repaid, because JOAN made a decision on how to spend MY money, therefore I was FORCED to provide Christmas for her kids. 

Here’s a picture of an orphan child:

 adopted kid

What is Joan’s solution for this child?

She wants to eradicate adoption – she thinks that every child should be raised by other family members – um, there were none for this kid – so according to Joan Wheeler, he should stay in the hospital, being raised by nurses until he becomes an adult.  

Good solution there Joan Wheeler. – Totally illogical, stupid and inhumane.

illogical and stupid

1. gertmcqueenDecember 10, 2014

Gert here…good points…as we have said so many times, ADOPTION is here to stay as long as there are HUMANS IN NEED of it.
And Joan thinks NOTHING of interfering in other members of the family for her OWN purposes. Been There, Done That, and she will NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

She violated my parental rights BECAUSE she knew better than me how to raise my children. She called in 2 false child abuse reports on me saying I was UNFIT…SHE did NOT pass the HOME STUDY that I requested on her.

She didn’t do her OWN children any good either…besides MOVING BACK home to her adoptive mother’s home, with her children…where Joan STILL LIVES…she had that mother TAKE CARE of her children while she went off to get another DEGREE PAID FOR BY THAT MOTHER. Then Joan WROTE in a book about how she treated her children, documented CHILD ABUSE SHE did, how she BURNED her children’s stuff, how she attempted SUICIDE in front of her children.
She SHOULD HAVE HAD HER KIDS TAKEN AWAY FROM HER.

Joan Wheeler “social worker” (yeah, right), adoptee rights activist says she wants to blow up buildings. what an ass April 16, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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This post is not going to be a pretty one – so you have fair warning right now.  

see end of post for UPDATE INFO

First off – I am disgusted and disturbed and angry over the bombings yesterday in Boston.  I hope whoever is responsible fries in an electric chair. 

Okay, now I want to turn attention back towards Joan Wheeler’s tweet the other night about her and other adoptees “fantasizing about blowing up vital statistics offices.” 

I wrote about this in my blog post “Joan Wheeler is now fantasizing/threatening to blow up government buildings. Is she looking for a pair of handcuffs?April 14, 2013”  I included a screen shot of Joan’s actual tweet. and here it is again:

joan-wheeler-tweet-03 Joan Wheeler’s tweet on April 14, 2013

Okay Joan – and all you stupid adoptees who want to blow up buildings – take a cold hard look at your televisions and see the damage done by bombs in Boston – no wait – photographers on the scene showed that they are human beings and did not photograph the gruesomeness of what happened. 

Want to hear about it? Let’s see – blown up body parts laying in the street. One woman had most of her jaw blown off. And an 8 year old child was killed! A child for god’s sake! 

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT BLOWING UP A BUILDING MEANS JOAN WHEELER? My god, you heartless bitch. Even if the building is closed for business there are probably other workers in there – cleaning personell – other workers. Innocent bystanders walking on the sidewalk next to the building. Innocent bystanders that may include children. And when a building is blown up – that means the people who work there are out of a job. This is what you stand for Joan? If it is, I’ll say it again – you’re a cold heartless bitch. 

And you call yourself a social worker? Who the hell do you think you are fooling? You have the picture of an abused child on your twitter page, yet advocate BLOWING UP BUILDINGS? You are a two faced lying hypocrite! You are evil.

ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT JOAN WHEELER?
Do you advocate terrorism Joan? Because your tweet says that you do.

 But then yes, you and all the other “angry militant adoptees” ARE fucking idiots and dangerous ones at that. I hope the FBI is watching your crazy little asses. 

Now I’m not saying that Joan or some other angry adoptee had anything to do with the bombing in Boston – but if they did – they are in a shitload of trouble. And even if they didn’t – to want to do something like that shows the whole world what rotten people they are. No respect for the sanctity of life. To want to destroy life and property. Sick little bastards – as they are proud to call themselves. 

Oh and Joan – just how do you think your fucking little tweet is going to look in court tomorrow? You can drop your poor little meek and mild down-trodden little act right now. The first day you had to report to court – you came in, looking down at the floor, walking oh-so-slowly, like you had the weight of the world on you! The little act you were trying to portray yourself as just a little old beaten down thing. The whole world is beating you up, and you’re so sad, so tired of the whole thing, oh, look at me, just taking slow little steps, cos I’m so pitiful. I’m so meek and mild, and sweet, and I wouldn’t hurt a fly. 

BULLSHIT! Your own tweet says the truth about you. And I will make damn sure the judge sees that stupid tweet of yours. 

And don’t forget stupid – making terrorist threats is a federal offense – I hope they put you away for a long long time sweetie. 

godzilla smashe building

is this your problem Joan – well you will have plenty of time to think about when you are sitting in a jail cell.

For myself – I will be heading over to the Red Cross tomorrow to donate blood to help the victims of the Boston bombing.

gertmcqueen – April 16, 2013

Excellent post Ruth!

Totally disgusting what happened in Boston…it’s looking more and more like a deed of DOMESTIC violence…terror by any name is still terror. And yes of course, NO ONE KNOWS who did that deed, but the anti-terrorist people are very good at their jobs and the doer will be found!

At this point in the history of the USA it is disgusting that anyone, let alone a SOCIAL-WORKER would put on a social NETWORKING site…for the entire globe to see…that she and other ADOPTEES want to blow up government OFFICES because they are MAD. Hey if you are mad sign yourself up in an institution and let the rest of the country be free from your assholeNESS.

I don’t care what side of the adoption issue anyone is on …but it’s past time for EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER HEARD OF JOAN WHEELER to silence the bitch! Do you people think that the government is going to GIVE YOU YOUR ORIGINAL BIRTH CERTIFICATES just because Joan Wheeler and friends think that blowing up the offices of VITAL STATICS will do the trick?

Hey, I worked for the military and I know just HOW SERIOUS the government is about terror and those that do it, talk about it, advocate it, etc. Joan Wheeler calls herself a MILITANT ACTIVIST and will work till the day she DIES for EVERYONE to get an OBC…and the hell with anyone else.

these types of idiots are disgusting

 

UPDATE OCTOBER 2016; as older posts are being seen I, Gert, am updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

 

It seems that Joan Wheeler CAN do the right thing when she wants to. But she still will have to pay for the times she went out of her way to lie about her birth sisters March 20, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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 About Joan’Wheeler’s comment page on The Huffington Post.–

Since Joan made that libelous statement about me and admitting that she wrote that libelous letter to my employer (Nov 2012) on January 22, 2013, she has made several more comments about adoption and birth certificates. So you will have to scroll down to see the stupid comment she made about me and my sisters – even accusing me of starting my twitter account solely to bother her. really. I took her to task on Huffington – refuting all her bullshit lies there. All her stupid libelous comments AND my replies – with the TRUTH – are all there in one spot. You just have to scroll down a bit.

As to her recent activity on Huffington – with her discussions about adoption and birth certificates – THIS IS WHAT WE’VE BEEN TELLING JOAN TO DO FOR MORE THAN THREE YEARS NOW – have your debates about adoption and birth certificates all you want – we don’t care – JUST LEAVE US THE HELL OUT OF YOUR DISCUSSIONS! AND STOP LYING ABOUT THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF YOUR ADOPTION.

It seems as though Joan is quite capable of discussing her adoption activism WITHOUT DRAGGING US INTO IT OR DISRESPECTING OUR FAMILY after all. Because I have not one single problem with what she has been saying recently on Huffington.

She even FINALLY acknowledged that the natural family relinguished her because there was no other choice. Which actually is a direct contradiction of what she keeps harping about – she keeps saying she is 100% against adoption, and keeps promoting kinship and guardianship care. Which was NOT a viable option in our family.

We’ve told Joan before – if you want to engage in your anti-adoption activism, LEAVE US OUT OF IT. By continually dragging us into it – she opens herself up to our rebuttals.

All she has to EVER say is, “I was adopted when my birth mother died. Due to lack of options of child care, my birth father relinguished me for adoption. My adoptive parents lied to me. I was found by my birth siblings in 1974. A few years later, personality conflicts between us resulted in us not having a relationship.”

That’s all she has to ever say about us. Since she keeps lying about us – we keep telling the truth about us.

1. gertmcqueenMarch 20, 2013

It’s so simple to just tell the truth without harming others!

RuthMarch 20, 2013

absolutely Gert – Joan needs to learn that when she lies, she not only hurts others, she hurts HERSELF as well! By lying on Huffington about me – by writing a lying letter to my employer, SHE has hurt herself. Now she goes on trial for that. Idiot. We’ve been saying on our blogs for over three years to Joan – STOP LYING. JUST TELL THE DAM TRUTH AND STOP TALKING ABOUT US. cos when you tell the truth – you don’t get in trouble. Joan creates the very situations she bitches about. Because she’s a fool.

RuthMarch 21, 2013

let me clarify the title of this blog post. When I say “But she still will have to pay for the times she went out of her way to lie about her birth sisters ” – that is not a threat. It is a fact. If you do somebody wrong – it’s gonna come back to you in some way. Karma baby – it’s called KARMA. It’s called paying for your sins. Somehow, someway, you will reap what you have sown. If you treat people like dirt, the way Joan has treated me and members of my family, someone is going to treat Joan like dirt. It’s the law of the universe – cause and effect. Like I said – it is Joan herself creating the situations she is bitching about. NOBODY TOLD HER TO TELL LIES ABOUT ME. SHE MADE THE CONSCIOUS DECISION TO TELL THE LIES. Now, with her lies exposed, she has to deal with the consequences of her actions and words.

Dumb-ass sisters and their delusions, Joan Wheeler speaks again September 19, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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here’s the latest over at Gert’s blog….

Dumb-ass sisters and their delusions…is how Joan Wheeler describes her birth sisters on an adoptee site!

by 
1. RuthSeptember 20, 2012

tell me again Brian Maloney how Joan is the innocent “victim” – when on September 10, 2012, she’s on the internet saying her birhtsisters are dumbasses? – well Joan – a double dumbass on you AND idiot Brian.

a really important post on Gert’s blog July 16, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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don’t miss important developments…

this one has evidence that will knock your socks off…

 

The Yom Kippur Affair of Octobr 2009 – Joan Wheeler twists the meaning of Yom Kippur, gets herself in trouble with her bloghost, then blames her birth sisters for her own ignorance. (what else is new?)

by 

Can I sew Joan Wheeler’s mouth shut? Or smash her fingers so she can’t type any more bullshit? Please? May 9, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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At the Adoptive Families Circle website, Joan keeps spewing crap from her diarrhea mouth. Here are three comments from there. The first from Joan, and then 2 from me. Joan had decided to make a comment on a thread called “All Birth Mothers on Drugs and with Criminal Records?” And kept up the same old family garbage that had NOTHING to do with the topic of the thread. Gert came on and left a statement. Which pissed Joan off. And of course, Joan can’t keep her diarrhea mouth shut, so she went off again. Accusing us of stupid things. So I stepped in. Joan’s bullshit comment doesn’t even deserve answering EXCEPT where she fucking dishonors our family AGAIN.  – Joan’s comment is in italics.

All Birth Mothers on Drugs and with Criminal Records?

JOAN:
 am tired of my older sisters stalking me and harassing me.

Please note that after any comment I make, it is followed by an attack from one or both of my sisters.

This latest comment was merely copied and pasted, except for the lines “I find it disgusting that on a public thread she would repeat these lies about MY PARENTS….all she is doing is EXPLOITING my parents and this is not right!”, from another thread she posted on after she found me there (http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/groups/topic/3858/ Private adoption vs Agency).

I would like to bring this hostile, confrontational behavior to the attention of the moderators of this blog.

I declare publicly that am not the poster called Pilgrim. I am a social worker and an adoptee. I challenge my sisters to present their credentials. I also state that the poster called “eldersibling” is lying when she states she is an “adopted mother”. She was never adopted by anyone. What she says about me and our stepmother is wrong. Our step mother came to me, crying, because she had to sign relinquishment papers for her husband, our father, to adopt her younger daughter, not the other way around.

This has been the problem since my sisters found me in 1974. They twist stories, make things up, gang together, and attack me.

I have made it clear I want nothing more to do with them. No attempts were made by “eldersister” to reconcile with me. I will not fall for anything they say, as when I did in the past, they turned on me again.

Their statements about me are wrong, as they have been for the past 38 years (after they found me). I suspect that during my childhood before they found me that these sisters had been gossiping about me behind my back. Keep in mind I had absolutely no knowledge that they ever existed because my adoptive parents never wanted me to know the truth.

I have been hunted down all of my life. Nothing I have said on any thread in this website, or any other website, has been lying, or threatening, or naming them. They, however, come here, list my initials, thus leading to my real identity. If I wanted to use my real name here, I would do just that.

The only thing I ask is for them to leave me alone. I wish them no harm even though they continually attempt to do me harm in one way or another.

Many adoptees who post here do so because of the negative experiences we have had. Because we have had “bad experiences” should not be a cause to dismiss what we say. It is a warning. These comments do not come from textbooks. They come from those who have lived adoption. Before considering seriously adopting, you have you before your eyes one of many possible implications of adoption by observing the interaction between my sisters and myself. NOTE: I have NO contact with them in real life at all. They have been told to stay away from me for many decades and they still harass me with the intent to harm me.

Since this thread was a put-down on birthmothers (All Birth Mothers on Drugs and with Criminal Records?) I decided to let you know that not all mothers who lose their infants and children to adoption are drug addicts and criminals. I cringe with this accusation as my mother died. I am insulted by the assumptions here at this website. You pre-adoptive and adoptive parents have such low esteem for the parents of your adoptees. THAT I find disturbing. It was not my mother who relinquished me, but my father, and he was not at all a drug addict, nor a criminal. My parents were married for 10 years.

Now, for anyone out there who still believes what my eldest sister says:  “I find it disgusting that on a public thread she would repeat these lies about MY PARENTS….all she is doing is EXPLOITING my parents and this is not right!”, I challenge you to find what I have said to be exploitive.

Obviously, my sisters have been deeply affected by the death of our mother and my relinquishment to adoption and whatever happened in their childhoods. They drew me into their lives and used my naivety (I was a teenager of 18 when they contacted me) against me. They never wanted me to learn about adoption and put me down when I did. I am the adopted one, they grew up together. They defend adoption, yet that is what tore our family apart, and that is what tore my adoptive family apart when the truth was told, against the wishes of my adoptive parents who never wanted me to know the truth. So, by my sisters defending adoption, they are accepting the very institution that caused so much havoc in our lives.

Reunions are both good and bad. Readers here do not know my relationships with other relatives or who I am as a person. You don’t know my adoptive parents, nor do you know what my life as an adoptee has been like. When adoptees search, they do so for similar reasons “normal” people go on Ancestry do com. For adoptees, no, we are not supposed to know, and when we do, we are the troublemakers. There are plenty of stereotypes of adoptees out there. We who come here, do so to speak for the little adoptees who cannot speak for themselves.

So, people on this website feel attacked by me? Then by all means, message me and talk with me. None of you have done that. But go to the older sisters who hunt me down, yes, listen to them, they are the older ones who know better than I do. Listen to what they say about me. If you read their comments, you’ll see that in reality, their sole purpose is to attack me rather than making any meaningful comment concerning adoption itself. 

I would simply ask the moderators to closely examine the comments made by “eldersister” (and the other sister, “birthsibling” on other threads) and decide whether this is the kind of discussion they in fact wish to promote.

Posted by halforphan56 on May 09, 2012 at 12:27am
RUTH – first comment:
I have not spoken anything but the truth.  And this is the only other thread that I have posted on, so halforphan’s statement “(and the other sister, “birthsibling” on other threads)” is wrong. Before she wrote that, I had posted on only ONE thread – singular, not plural. One of halforphan’s faults is that she exaggerates and overblows everything. If she reads 2 posts – she reports it as 5. If she she get one legitimate phone call by ONE sister (to inform of the death of an aunt) – it is reported as “numerous harrasing phone calls by my three sisters.” and calls the police to make a report on all three of us.(???)  – but I digress, just want you guys to take her statements with a little bit of salt. For example, her accusations that I gave her initials that lead to her real name. – Before I came to this site, halforphan filled out her profile here, and listed a link to her blog Forbidden Family – which contains her real name. So she left a way for readers here to find her real name. I never named her in my posts. only initials. This is what I mean that halforphan either outright lies about me or misrepresents what I have said or done.

As an infertile woman, who once considered adopting, and beng “touched by adoption” – my youngest sibling was relinquished to adoption – and having been in an “adoption reunion” – I have every right to be at this website.

I have every right to learn by being here – because my youngest sibling keeps saying I am ignorant of some things.

However, if I find an untruth or misrepresentation of me or my family, do I not have the right to speak up with the truth?

My youngest sibling blithely puts out hurtful stories of my family -such as this: “It took me years to figure out why she said that to me. Turns out, my extended adoptive family heard rumors that my natural father killed my mother, and other sordid tales. The truth is that my father did not kill my mother; he did not want her to suffer any more so he said no to experimental cancer treatment (1956).”

Jesus, it happened 56 years ago – LET IT GO and give the whole family some peace. It hurts to see these old family resentments and accusations of killing and such repeated all over the internet. This is what eldestbirthsibling meant that it is disgusting. Because it is.

All that needs to be said is:

My mother died of cancer three months after I was born. My father could not take care of 5 little kids, and gave me up for adoption.
My adoptive parents and other adoptive relatives told me gossip about my birth family.
When I was 18, my birth siblings found me and we had a reunion. While discovering my birthfamily, I became aware of some personal resentments towards my birthfather by my uncles.  For various personal reasons, my reunion with my birthsisters and other birthfamily members, turned sour.”

WHY must old hurtful gossipy, UNTRUE stories about my mother be forever dragged all over the internet?

WHY must lies be told about ME all over the place?

Lies are being replaced with truth. That is all. Nothing more, nothing less.

Posted by Birth Sibling on May 09, 2012 at 9:37am – Edit Reply

RUTH – second comment:

My mother is dead. My father is dead. halforpan’s adotpive parents are both dead. With the exception of two, all siblings and sibling-in-law of my mother are dead.

Let the dead rest in peace!

Even while living, my father accepted the fact that his former-brothers in law acted out in their grief that their sister died of cancer. She died swiftly. She went into the hospital in Dec. 1955, had the baby prematurely, had exploratory surgery on Jan. 19. She was discovered to be full of cancer. Nothing could be done. My uncles had a hard time accepting that and placed those feelings to my father. Three months later, my mother was dead. It was also HER wish not to go undergo any more treatments.

NOW THAT THE STORY IS TOLD WHERE IT DOESN’T BELONG (on this thread or elsewhere on the interent) – would you please stop repeating the same old tired garbage – please shut up about my mother and father and my uncles. We each have blogs for that.

What my uncles felt toward my father:
1. had nothing to do with your adoption.
2. had nothing to do with your adoption reunion
3. has nothing to do with your adoption reform work.
4. does not need to be repeated ad nausuem
5. whatever lies or gossip your adoptive family told you has no bearing on MY family.

the thread is about birthmoms on drugs and criminal charges? Why is our family’s old stories here? Who put them here first? – as an exploitation – to get sympathy for yourself. Stop!

comments for THIS blog post:

 

1. gertmcqueen –  
Gert here…

Did you notice how jW side-stepped what I said….
“I find it disgusting that on a public thread she would repeat these lies about MY PARENTS….all she is doing is EXPLOITING my parents and this is not right!”, from another thread she posted on after she found me there about

no she can not ever answer the issues at hand…all she did was cry that she is being harassed…

I placed the following on that thread

in response to halforphan56

I am using HO for halforphan and JW for her real name…

If I said I was adopted, sorry, I am an adoptive mother, who adopted her son, to HO that is a crime, but why is it that HO does NOT answer to what I said, that she interferred in the adoption process of my son and violated my rights to privacy and parental decisions. HO answer why DID you DO that to me? Why don’t you ever TAKE responsibility for the dirty deeds to did to your sisters?

I have left you along since 1981 UNTIL you wrote a libelous book telling all manner of lies…own up to it, and it was YOU who came to my blog and left comments…why don’t you ADMIT that it is you who keeps this up…because you will NOT stop talking and lying about us….

In the book she wrote on page 355 JW says…’social workers have a ethical responsibility to promote a client’s right to self-determination’ and quotes from the National Association of Social Workers’ Code of Ethics…’Social workers should not participate in, condone, or be associated with dishonesty, fraud, or deception’ and footnotes it as #17

Why does SHE NOT live by those ethics? Why does she think she can exploit my family so that she can continue to browbeat others into NOT adopting?

anything else i have to say about her non-issues will be addressed on my blog’

I do have a right to be on this site and comment because I adopted! and I am not telling lies about

 2. Ruth

Joan ALWAYS sidesteps the charges we have put towards her – like why she LIED in her book about me having a criminal and arrest record. I have posted the actual Buffalo City Court documents that show that I was not arrested – I was SUMMONED into court – (big difference) – that Joan was granted a SIX MONTH order of protection (not one year as she reports in the book and all over the internet) and that she wrote to Albany New York in December 1994 to the Child Abuse and Maltreatment Center and told them that I was placed on PROBATION! I have scanned and posted that actual letter that she wrote in 1994 – lying to New York State Officials about me –
1. I was never arrested in my life.
2. The order of protection was for six months, not one year.
3. the judge said it was an order of protection NOT probation.
4. Despite my bringing these lies in her book and on the internet forth, WITH THE ACTUAL LETTER JOAN WROTE IN 1994 AND ACTUAL COURT DOCUMENTS THAT PROVE JOAN IS F’ING LIAR – SHE WILL NOT ANSWER!

why? BECAUSE IT WILL PROVE ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT SHE LIED IN HER SO-CALLED “TRUTHFUL” BOOK.

But since we have already done that – her reputation is shot.
And Joan my dear, you did that to yourself. You started the shit way back in 1990 when you stole hundreds of dollars from me, reneged on your promise to repay me, tried to break me and John up, forged a letter pretending to be your own 10 year old son, mailed it to John, but addressed the envelope to me, baited me into phoning you, hung up on me three times when I did call you, falsely reported to the phone company and the police that I was making annoyance calls to you, then you charged me with harassment and you were given a six-month order of protection against. Then the following year, you called my job repeatedly, accusing me of computer hacking, called them everyday for six months trying to get me fired, then you called child abuse on yourself giving out my name and saying that my fiance abused your kids. Then your write to Albany, NY and tell them I was on probation – then you write to the mayor of Buffalo and lied to him about all this bullshit, AND gave him my private details of my life and medical history of not being able to get pregnant.Then in 1999, you send me a letter that John got the next door neighbor pregnant.

ANSWER OUR CHARGES JOAN WHEELER, aka HALFORPHAN56

She can’t, because then she will have admitted to what she really is: A FUCKING BITCH.

NOW GO WHINING ON THE INTERNET THAT I AM VICIOUS AND CALLING YOU NAMES. YOU DESERVE EVERY NAME AND VICIOUSNESS THAT I THROW AT YOU!

 

More Lies by Joan Wheeler from January, 2012 on another website February 9, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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So, at another wordpress blog, Finding God’s Fingerprints at the post “Adoption: Where Do You Begin?” Joan spouts some more lies and misrepresentations of us. She apparently has nothing better to do with her life than to keep spreading lies about us on the internet. I left the following comment for this particular post. It is awaiting moderation. I don’t know if the moderator will approve my comment or not. If she wants to keep lies on her page, that is her decision.

SEE UPDATE AT END OF THIS POST….

I have only commented on just a couple of  pieces of Joan’s garbage, but Gert has taken Joan’s garbage and answered everything that Joan has said in her very excellent post “Joan Wheeler continues to lie and lie on another adoption site, but she got caught! part one.”  and “Joan Wheeler continues to lie and lie on another adoption site, but she got caught! part two” Gert outlines every example of fact-twisting and lie, that Joan did as well as outlining every incident of  bullying, intimidation, and brow-beating that Joan committed on that site – intended to bully the site’s owner, an adoptive mother, other adoptive parents and those wishing to adopt.

The moderator of the site did put up my comment – but here they are anyway – and keep reading to see how the moderator felt to have her site taken over by this family drama – a drama that didn’t need to put out there in the first place – but that’s how Joan is – she just HAS to have her bullshit drama spread all over the place. Bullshit should be only be spread around in farms and gardens as a fertilizer, to help things grow. Joan’s form of bullshit is toxic – and turns people away from her. Will she never learn? – and at the end of this post – is proof positive that one of the adoptees who commented on Erica’s site is a spamalator – a person who not only intentionally spams pro-adoption sites, but posts links of those sites and instructs other people to spam them too. Yeah, Daniel ibn Zayd – I’m talking about YOU. Keep that crap up, and the law might come after you – delibrate spamming is cyberbullying.

so here is my comment answering Joan’s latest bullshit:

I am a birth sister of Joan Wheeler’s and am appalled at her continued bantering of falsehoods regarding her adoption. She says:  At his wife’s funeral, a Catholic priest said to him, “The baby needs two parents”. And a woman approached him and said, “I know someone who will take your baby.” Her brother and his wife became my adoptive parents.

No, my mother’s sister’s childhood friend had a brother whose wife was infertile. My aunt and her brothers asked my father after my mother died, “what are you goint to do about the baby?” My aunt suggested the adoption by her friend’s brother. My father consulted the priest. NONE OF THIS HAPPENED AT THE FUNERAL. I have heard the stories from not only my father, but my aunt, and my uncles.

Joan also says: The Christmas after I was born, and two weeks before my adoption was to be finalized, my adoptive parents bought a Christmas tree and presents for my four older siblings, ages 3, 6, 8 and 9. The kids were in bed when they delivered and set up the tree and gave my father the presents. They must have had a babysitter for me so they could do this act of charity. My adoptive mother told me that she and my adoptive father wanted to do something nice for my natural father and his children so they would have a nice Christmas. Imagine how my natural father felt receiving these gifts in exchange for his 5th child? His other children never knew where the tree came from or the presents.

This is a lie. My father worked as an engineer at Buffalo’s City Hall and was making good money. Six months after my mother died in March 1956, he remarried (Summer 1956) to a woman from a large Italian family. There was no need for ANYbody to send over a tree and gifts. This story may have been told to Joan by her adoptive parents because they lived in a suburb of Buffalo, while we continued to live in the “inner city.” Joan was raised as a spoiled only child, with hand-made dresses. The rest of us, as kids from any large family would, wear hand-me-downs. So what? We also had many fine Christmases provided by my father and his second wife, many gifts from both sets of my birth grandparents and my stepgrandmother and her son and daughters. If anything, we kids PROSPERED with so many relatives!

Joan further says that we birth siblings ruined her life, and our reunion with her. She says that at age 18, she was unprepared for the reunion. She says we were out of bounds. NO, my sister Gert asked an adoption agency and they said that there was no restrictions on siblings to find adopted out relatives. No, we did not consult our father, but after he was reuinted with Joan, he was happy to see his daughter again.
Joan made the concious decision BEFORE we found her to search for us, so that negates her statement that she was unprepared.
Joan says we ridiculed her for her anti-adoption stand. No we did not. I myself appeared with her for a tv news interview on WGRZ tv Buffalo, New York AND I encourged her to write a book. Sad to say, her book was full of hate directed at her birth family, me in particular. In May of 2011 we were successful in having her book pulled from publication due to the slander and lies contained in it.
Joan also fails to tell people on this site and elsewhere WHY our reunion turned sour. Because she interfered with parental authority, she stole money from us, in my case it was hundreds of dollars, and she called my job repeatedly to get me fired over a false accusation. She sent harassing letters to me, one said that my infertile husband got the next door neighbor pregnant.
For Joan to get on the internet and spread such lies, while being guilty of lies herseld speaks volumes of her character.
Click on my name to go my blog Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler, where we take every lie contained in Joan’s book and present the truth – with documetnted proof of her lies: actual court documents (one of her lies was that I have an arrest and criminal record – which is false and slander) – and actual letter written by Joan herself.

I am NOT against adoptee rights. I am just against this particular adoptee who has spread lies about me for more than 30 years and ruined our reunion with her because of her immoral activity. She says we wanted to mold our baby sister into what we wanted? NO, all we wanted was someone who didn’t lie to us, create trouble, steal from us, and wreak havoc in our lives.

1. gertmcqueen

Gert here: it boggles the mind…just how much Joan likes to talk and talk and talk…the same of lies and fabrications…on every new blog and news site she finds!

She left several rambling, over the tops, comments. She is nothing but a raving manic and she thinks by doing so that people will get her message…wrong!

It doesn’t matter, to us, really, if this blog does not recognize nor publish our comments related to Joan…BECAUSE…the moderator will check us out and will be cautious the next time Joan opens her month! This particular ‘adoption’ site will see, like others have, that Joan is a nut case and will never listen to her.

Our job is done…for this site…and every site that we find where Joan lies and lies and exploits us and our family.

2. Ruth

oh – on that site – in one of her numerous nonsense comments, Joan mentions that her boyfriend’s father died in November (2011) – like that had something to do with the topic on the blog! HOWEVER, during a check at The Buffalo News just 10 minutes ago, I found that the man died on October 30, 2011. Okay, it was only a couple of days before November, but we see how JOAN DOESN’T GET THE FACTS RIGHT!
I have caught her in many of these little slip-ups in her book. Like the time she was describing a fight she had after a party of my younger brother’s First Holy Communion. She described the day as cold and rainy. I posted pictures of my stepsister who was wearing a dress with spaghetti straps. Full sunlight streaming in the windows! And a check in the library on the mircrofilmed newspaper for that day – the weather was listed as “warm and sunny.”
Nitpicking? Not when you are dealing with the facts of people’s lives – which Joan turns completely around to suit her fantasy of what happened – which in turns means: CAN YOU TRUST WHAT JOAN SAYS ABOUT HER BIRTH FAMILY?
For example, this bullshit about my father accepting a xmas tree the year after she was born – which would make it Dec. 1956 (actually 11 months after she was born, considering she was born in January). In December 1956, I was 4 years old, yet she says I was 3. And she gets all the ages of my siblings wrong.
This is the example of an author of a non-fiction book? Her book that is full of mistakes just like this – plus the lies we found in it. Bad bad Joan.

update:

The moderator approved my 2 comments with this caveat:

  Erica says:
February 9, 2012 at 11:31 am
I have approved of these comments regarding your side of your birth families’ story, but will ask that any future comments from yourself or Joan regarding this topic, be done personally, or on your own site. I absolutely understand your desire to defend yourself, and your family when you feel you are being wronged (especially publicly), but I do not want my site to become the place to do this. I would like to keep the focus of this post for people who are considering adoption and don’t know where to begin. Thanks for understanding!

to which I answered:
 Ruth says:
(Your comment is awaiting moderation.)February 9, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Erica,
I thank you for posting my comment – there are two sides to every story and you are fair and gracious to have let my side to have been heard.

yes, people should keep their comments to the topic at hand. And this topic was for adoption. The comments should also be truthful. Because when the truth is not told, or the topic is not adhered to, confusion is the result. I say kudos to those who want to consider adoption. They should know all the facts.

I am also for adoptee rights. Truth in their documentation should be a must. However, militant tactics and lies only hurt and confuse people. And make enemies of those who might otherwise help in ways that are not known.

Erica, please let me extend to you my apologys for the drama posted here. – Ruth

so what can we learn from this debacle (besides what we already know – that Joan is a liar)? That Joan is the real cyberbully! She finds a pro-adoption website and spouts her garbage on it. And she uses their site as a way to tell more lies about us.

You should be ashamed Joan. And before you start with ranting and raving that we are cyber-stalking you – we’ve told you before – yes, we are there watching and monitoring what you say on the internet – because when you are talking about your birth family and spreading untruths – we have the right to know about it. Because we ARE your birth family – and any untruth spread about us will be refuted. You have recently posted a few anti-adoption remarks on the internet, which did not mention us. And we left them alone. But the minute you include us in your comments, you have left yourself wide open to rebuttals from us. Shut your mouth about us and you won’t get into trouble on the internet. Now here is another site you are banned from – just like the Huffington Post last March.

3. gertmcqueen

Gert here…
thank you Ruth for thanking Erica, the owner of that site.

She also posted my comment…

gertmcqueen says: February 8, 2012 at 3:43 pm
I am birth sister to Joan Wheeler, you really ought to see the other side of the story check out the birth siblings blogs@ gertmcqueen.wordpress.com and ruthsippelpace@wordpress.com Amongst many things, Joan Wheeler violated the adoption process I was in with adopting my own son, in 1980…

Ruth…you are so right when you say….

so what can we learn from this debacle (besides what we already know – that Joan is a liar)? That Joan is the real cyberbully! She finds a pro-adoption website and spouts her garbage on it. And she uses their site as a way to tell more lies about us. You should be ashamed Joan.

These angry adoptees are the real bullies….and they shall be exposed because NO ONE deserves to have a target on their backs because they are pro-adoption.

Ruth here – Gert – yes – Joan and the other adoptees from the adoptee forum, Daniel, one of them,ARE the true cyberbullies.

Readers – at the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum, these militant, angry “hating” adoptees regularly post urls of ANY pro-adoption site with instructions for their members to go and spam them. Which they do, and then come back and post on their forum how they “socked it to them.” They use disgusting hating smilies like “punching” karate chop, piknose, barfs – any infertile woman, birth mother who relinquished their baby for adoption, adoptive parent or adoption agency is fair game to these people.  Bullies, that’s all they are.  We have seen evidence from as far back as 2008 of Joan having been kicked off pro-adoption websites.

I went to find a post on the forum to see if they publicized Erica’s site to spam her, but didn’t find evidence of it. BUT – I did find in early November 2011 TWO posts instructing the forum members to spam two other sites – and one of them was started by Daniel ibn Zayd, who left a couple of comments on Erica’s site. – This graphic is a screnshot of my computer screen while I was on the index page of the general discussion board of the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change – proof positive that these “adult” adoptees are not advocating for change – their purpose is to BULLY pro-adoption sites and CONDEMN any one who is pro-adoption. That is NOT the way to change things. The way to change things is NOT to spam people – but to lobby the lawmakers. And by bullying, browbeating and verbally abusing adoptive parents on the internet, all they are doing is making assholes of themselves. – And like all bullies, when their bullying tactics are revealed, when people stand up to them, they slink away into their self-made cesspools. They tried to bully me in February 2010 on this blog – they came over in droves after Joan asked them, and left a number of obscene messages. When they saw that I was not intimidated by Joan or them, they slunk away. Adults? not in the way they act. They act like little petulant children, that when they don’t get their way, they resort to leaving obscene comments on internet sites.  

Gert here…

UPDATE, FEBRUARY 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

end

I wish Joan Wheeler would stop stealing phrases from my blog – does she EVER have any original thoughts? December 30, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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So last night Joan spouts some more “wisdom” over at the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum. –

“Foofie’s right. Telling a poor mother that she would be better off giving away her child so she could go on to lead a better life (go to college, get a career, etc) and, therefore, her child would also be better off away from her and poverty, well, this is just buying into what society has been dishing out for decades. That’s the Adoption Machine’s motto — that adoptive parents will provide a better life for the adoptee. Well, adoptive parents certainly do die young sometimes, leaving the adoptee without one or both adoptive parents. An orphan, again. To be adopted again? Maybe. And, adoptive parents certainly do face hard economic times, too. Telling a poor mother to give up her child because she is poor is a cruelty to her and her child. Family preservation means just what Foofie said — extending kindness, support, social services, food stamps, Medicaid, education and job training, child care while she does these things to get income, and community support from churches and other social organizations such as the locall YMCA that often have 50% scholarships to low income families so their children can attend camp and year-long Y activities. Socially isolating the mother is not good. She doesn’t live in a vaccuum. She has a family and so the family members can help too. And the unmarried father can be drawn in as well. …. Being cast off because your mother was poor really sends a negative message to the adoptee. That’s one of the reasons why most of us hate being adopted.”

Pay attention to the words that I bolded:  She doesn’t live in a vaccuum.  – These are direct thoughts and words of Gert McQueen. I myself have never used that phrase, but Gert has used it several times. Most recently on December 27 in her post “Gert McQueen’s review of Rene Hoksbergen’s review of Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler” – 4th paragraph down, Gert says “No one lives in a vacuum. At least Gert spelled the word vacuum correctly! Joan, the oh-so-professional “author” didn’t get it right.

We have said several times on this blog that Joan is a Master Manipulator – She is also a Foolish Follower. We have caught many other instances where she has taken phrases from our blogs and used them elsewhere. And she had the nerve to complain once to the AAAC forum “I don’t read their blogs, are they writing to the air?” I blogged once before about that – around springtime 2010 – that we know that Joan reads our blog because she gives herself away. But not only does she “follow” our blog – she “follows” other people! We have seen where someone posts something on the forum, and in just a few days, here comes Joan writing about something and she swipes phrases from the original post. And after reading her book, and harassing letters for years, and dealing with her in person for many years, we know how Joan thinks and speaks. So when we see something on her blog – we can tell when it’s HER own original words or somebody else’s suggestions.

Joan is full of hyperbole, exagerations, and contradictions. She is transparent to us, we who have learned the hard way how she operates, speaks, writes and thinks. She doesn’t fool us. She may have in the past, been able to pull the wool over our eyes, but we learned our lessons – we learned how Joan the Snake works. We recognize her forked tongue.  

 

Comments»

 

1. gertmcqueenDecember 30, 2011

Gert here:
great post Ruth!! excellent in fact!!

Joan is so good at trying to look ‘learned’ when in fact she just can’t pull it off. Joan has no real knowledge of how the real world works, because she has been spoiled by the very adopted parents she hates and condemns over and over again.

Joan keeps talking about some kind of ‘family perservation’ so that no child should be adopted out. Guess what?? That is a pie in the sky nicey nicey way of thinking…but it doesn’t work for all people all the time!! Get real!!

Joan says, in the above post, She has a family and so the family members can help too

Really now, the family can help….let me tell you that it is the RARE family that can and does help!!

In our own family there was NO ONE who COULD HELP…that is why Joan was adopted out, and the other four children were in foster homes and orphan homes. In my own personal life…I have two children…NO ONE helped me raised them, not even their own father!!

There was no one in my immediate family or extended family or the in-law family to help me CARE FOR MY CHILDREN but ME!!! I raised my children alone for 12 years while I managed to WORK and go to school and EARN A DEGREE and keep a job for 37 years!!

I really find it appalling that someone, Joan, who has TWO college degrees, but no significant job under her belt, who had everything given to her by the adopted parents, who still cries the blues because she was adopted!

No wonder she has such a miserable life….she never had developed inner strength. I would like to know who in Joan’ family is going to take care of her when she gets old and has to have someone TAKE CARE OF HER? Who Joan, in your family, is going to take care of you.

 
2. RuthDecember 30, 2011

uh, Gert, did you forget that even now, Joan has forced her 25 year old daughter to work two jobs to support them in a house they can not afford. My father urged Joan several years ago to sell the house and move to an affordable apartment.

In a private facebook message, Joan’s ex-husband told me that he finds it “disgusting” that his daughter works 2 jobs. My niece also lamented in a myspace message to me in Nov. 2009 “Don’t I have a right to a life of my own?”, Instead of building her own life, is now “raising” Joan.

Joan’s ex-husband also told me “Joan has fixed it so that (eventually) she will lose the house.” He told me that he and his current wife offered to buy the house (and rent it out to Joan), but she refused. This delusional dingbat, who couldn’t afford to fix her own car in 2009 thinks she can hold down a mortgage, do necessary house repairs, when she is on Social Security Disability. – So why doesn’t the “extended” family help out? Why the f should they?

Atttention Lori Corangelo; Amfor (Americans for Open Records) re: Joan Wheeler, Forbidden Family December 11, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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LORI CORANGELO AND OTHERS: I think you’d better read this: from the pdf. file of Trafford’s Publishing’s “Terms and Conditions.” These are the Terms and Conditions that Joan Wheeler agreed to when she signed (under false pretenses) her contract with Trafford and the ones that she VIOLATED – she had hate speech in her book, obscene language, had me saying things that I didn’t, labeled me as a computer hacker with a criminal record and used MY photograph. 

 http://www.trafford.com/uploadedFiles/Trafford/Common/Trafford%20Terms%20and%20Conditions_ebook%20pricechange_11182011.pdf

 2. YOUR LEGAL RESPONSIBILITY
2.1. You represent that you are the sole copyright owner of the Work and all of its content.

 2.2. You represent that the Work does not infringe upon any statutory or common law right of copyright, libel or privacy of any third party.

  2.4. You further represent that the Work does not contain illegal, unlawful or objectionable material including, but not limited to, pornography, obscenity or hate speech. You acknowledge that the Work is not plagiarized and does not include falsely attributed statements of third parties.

 3.(Trafford’s Legal Responsibility
3.2. We reserve the right to refuse to provide and/or to discontinue ALL Services upon our discovery of any violation by you of these Terms and Conditions, any other actions, omissions or misconduct by you with respect to Work, and/or your performance under these Terms and Conditions. In the event a complaint is made by a third party regarding the Work, we reserve the right to suspend the Services in accordance with Section 7.1 until such time as the complaint is satisfactorily resolved, as determined by us in our sole discretion.

Now Lori go and read these two posts and read them word for word so you can UNDERSTAND what Joan Wheeler did –

Joan Wheeler FINALLY announces the demise of her book Forbidden Family, but still shows evidence of her silly delusions

My complaint to Trafford Publications concerning the slander and libel contained in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler

 Tell us again Lori of how Joan made a “mistake” – you are full of shit, and so is Joan.

You want open records Lori? That equates to the TRUTH, does it not Lori? We are open and TRUTHFUL here on our blogs. Can you handle the TRUTH Lori?

Joan Wheeler FINALLY announces the demise of her book Forbidden Family, but still shows evidence of her silly delusions December 8, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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I revised the front page of this blog on December 5 + 6, 2011. In that post,  I described what Joan has on her tab “About and Buy.” on her website. On December 8, 2011, Joan renamed that tab to say only “About” and wrote the following:

“Forbidden Family has been taken off the market by Trafford Publishing as of May 2011.
It was a short run, but well worth it.
I believe in my book and future success.
The book is not dead, only sleeping while another opportunity is sought.”

First off, she doesn’t say WHY Trafford  took her book off the market. Why not Joan? Got something to hide? Like the very TRUE reason it was taken off the market – for slander and libel and using a photograph that you didn’t have the copyright of.

If someone is going to make a statement like this bullshit – and she says she believes in her book, she would tell her blog readers WHY the book is not on the market. But like the master manipulator Joan is, she will tell only PART of the story. She won’t tell the TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. Just little bits and pieces of sound bites.

She can say her book is only sleeping, and it’s not dead,but she’s only fooling herself and her blog readers. As to using the phrase her book is not dead – we see evidence that  Joan is reading our blog, because it was here that we say the book is dead. And we see more evidence of her delusions. It only took her seven months to admit that the book has pulled from publication. The book IS dead. She claims that the short run of her book was “well worth it?” Worth having the entire world know what Joan’s true lying nature is and exposed? Joan may  “believe” in her book – that is because Joan “believes” her delusions. She DID write in her book that in 1993 she was granted a one year order of protection against me. I have submitted on this blog the actual court document that says it was for six months. Joan says in her book that I was arrested, and placed on probation in 1993. I have submitted actual court documents on this blog that show that is a falsehood, slander and libel.

Joan continues to insist that she changed names in her book to protect identities. No, she changed only SOME names and kept her own name Joan Wheeler in the book. She put on the back of the book, a family photograph that clearly shows my father’s face. AND she names him by his correct name of SIPPEL. My father worked in City Hall and was well known. In his second wife’s funeral guest book, and his mother’s funeral guest book are the signatures of two prominent local politicians. My father’s colleagues and many other people knew that he had given up one daughter for adoption. This was no secret in the 1950’s and 1960’s. Further, Joan wrote an article called “The Secret is Out,” that was published in England and Holland in the early 1990’s. In this article, she gave out the correct names of ME and one of my sisters. In her book Forbidden Family, she  referenced  this article and where it was published, and named the publication. It is available, so any person with any reasonable amount of intelligence could read her book, find her original article and find MY real name, which is sullied in Joan’s book as a criminal, a computer hacker with my employer, and other disgusting detrimental claims to my good name and character.

Joan says that we sisters identified ourselves first on our blog – no we did not. I started my blog late November 2009. Her book had already come out in the beginning of November 2009. The book Forbidden Family was already offered for sale by Trafford Publishing BEFORE I started my blog. And in September 2008, on a now-defunct Blogger blog, Joan identified her birth sisters. A full year before the book was published and my blog was started. 

I started this blog as the direct result of two internet sites that Joan publicized her “new” book – the first one was actually an interview/article by ABC.com titles “Adoptees face Sting of Discrimination.” In that article, Joan was interviewed and she put forth many falsehoods, both in the body of the interview/article and in 5 or 6 additional comments. I submitted comments refuting her statements, but they were not accepted.  On another website, called “The Daily Bastardette”, was a piece promoting Joan’s book. In that article, there was a falsehood, put forth by Joan, and published by the website’s owner Marley Greiner. I submitted a comment, refuting what Joan told Ms. Greiner. Ms. Greiner did not publish my comment.  I was frustrated, because Joan was able, via these two sources, and her own new wordpress website called Forbidden Family to get out her lies and misrepresentations of my family, but I could not get out the truth. So I began this blog. I had known that Joan had a blog on google’s blogspot for some time, but never paid much attention to it. I did see the warning that she put out in September 2008 to the Wheeler clan, the Herr clan and The Three Sippel Sisters to “leave her alone,” although nobody was bothering her. I made screen shots of that warning, but did nothing else. I ignored the little child.

Apparently, sometime in the summer of 2009, when her book was going to press, she built her wordpress blog and titled it Forbidden Family and began to promote her new book. She transferred all her files from the blogger blog to the new wordpress blog.  In October 2009, on Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of  Atonement, Joan wrote a blog post about Yom Kippur, but got some things wrong. As it turns out, my sister Kathy, converted to Judaism several years ago. She wrote a comment on Joan’s blog, a very nice comment, but it corrected Joan in the points she got wrong. Joan graciously accepted the comment for publication, and even left a nice note, something along the lines “I knew someday we would re-connect.” The two comments stayed on her blog for a few days, when all of a sudden, with no action taken from either me, or Kathy, Joan turned 180 degrees (this is very typical of her) and accused Kathy and me of spying on her, and getting her blogger blog shut down.  ???? What? — and then she dragged Gert into it.

Gert had not been on the internet AT ALL! She had a computer at home, for personal work, did not have internet access, didn’t go to public computers for such. Kathy was brand new to the internet.  With a brandnew computer, wasn’t internet savvy enough NOT to leave her private email containing her name, on the comment she put on Joan’s blog. Joan then emailed her and bitched her out! For nothing! Kathy was upset, and rightfully so. She complained to WordPress, she said that 1. she only corrected some points about the Jewish religion that Joan had gotten wrong, and 2. why was the webhost (Joan) emailing her and threatening her. WordPress went in and took down the post about Yom Kippur, and all comments as well. Joan became enraged! She left a nasty post saying she was not going to be censored. She went out and BOUGHT a website from StartLogic and began building a new Forbidden Family website, and transferred all her files from her wordpress blog over there. And then closed down her blogger blog and wordpress blog – but then said that it was The Three Sippel Sisters who closed her down. Which is a big fat lie. She closed those blogs down HERSELF.

That happened in September, October and the beginning of November 2009. I was not involved AT ALL with the Yom Kippur postings, nor was Gert. But I was sympathetic with Kathy. And I began this blog, the third week of November. I originally titled it, “Refuting Joan Wheeler’s statements about her Forbidden Family.” I ordered the book from Amazon.com the first week of December 2010, and received it a few days later. I opened the book and just glanced at it and saw many lies. I was disgusted. Since this blog had already been started, I went in and changed the title to Refuting the Book Forbidden Family. Her book came out BEFORE I started this blog.  So Joan had done the damage BEFORE my blog was in existence.

Joan also keeps insisting that she had the right to publish MY family photograph on the back of her book. NO, she does not, did not have that right. Joan says on her website that she spoke to a literary attorney. If she did, she misled them, just as she misled Trafford Publishing. Joan signed a contract with Trafford Publishing in 2009, but in 2011, when they saw the actual court documents, and what I outlined in the above paragraph, THEIR attorneys agreed that Joan VIOLATED their rules of conduct of authors. 

The photograph in question is of my parents, me, and my 3 siblings. It was taken in 1955. Joan was not born until January 1956. She was not in the photograph. This photograph was widely distributed among relatives in the 1950’s and 1960’s. I don’t care where or when Joan was given a PAPER COPY of this photograph. Joan says that in the photograph, our mother was pregnant with her. We have no proof of that. She looks fat. But that’s not the point. Joan was NOT A LEGAL ENTITY UNTIL SHE WAS BORN ON JANUARY 7, 1956. IN THE WINTERTIME! The photo was taken in the summer or early fall 1955. Joan did not legally exist when the photograph was taken, therefore, she does NOT OWN THE SOLE COPYRIGHTS TO THAT PHOTOGRAPH.

One of the articles in the contract that Joan signed with Trafford Publishing was that “the author is the SOLE COPYRIGHT OWNER OF THE WORK AND ALL ITS CONTENTS.” In order to publish that photograph, Joan needed the permission of those pictured in the photograph. She claims on her website that “no permissions were needed to use this photo.” – WRONG! Because this photo was being put on a work that was to be used for MONETARY INCOME, Joan did indeed NEED TO GET PERMISSION FROM ALL LIVING PERSONS IN THE PHOTOGRAPH. She “claims” she had our father’s permission. I want to see his signature, and it had better have been notarized, because if it wasn’t -it doesn’t prove a thing – because Joan has been known to forge things.   

I am in that photo, as well as my sisters, and Joan DID NOT GET OUR PERMISSION IN WRITING OR ORALLY to publish OUR likeness on a vehicle for her to make money. Joan in the past has tried to skip around the issue by saying the faces were blurry and obscured by text. WRONG! The faces are not that blurry, and text does obscure faces of my mother, my brother, and my two sisters. BUT MY FATHER’S FACE AND MY FACE ARE CLEARLY VISIBLE. Since my likeness has been placed on a body of work that garnered income for Joan Wheeler, WITHOUT MY PERMISSION – I hereby demand my share of all monetary sums from all sales of the book Forbidden Family in the years 2009, 2010, 2011. 

Many people in  the Buffalo area know my father, they know his last name, they know my mother’s maiden name, which is given out in the book. That photograph is well known by many people. We have a large family, and everybody knows who Joan Wheeler is. Joan had her picture published in The Buffalo News,with her full name given out – and she spoke about adoption. The following week, my father was interviewed by The Buffalo News and spoke about her adoption. In the interview HIS FULL REAL NAME, ALONG WITH HIS PHOTOGRAPH was published.

 Because of her many years of writing articles for The Buffalo News and other places, Joan’s name and circumstances of her adoption have been well publicized. On the internet, BEFORE the book was published, Joan herself was using a name that DID NOT LEGALLY BELONG TO HER! She wrote many opinion pieces throughout the internet on adoption, using the signature “Joan Wheeler, born Doris Sippel.” – Therefore, she gave out MY legal maiden name BEFORE the book was published.

In 1980, both Joan and I appeared on a locally produced human interest news story about adotion reunion. We were interviewed by reporter Rich Kellman and the half-hour show was televised on WGRZ-TV of Buffalo, New York. In this interview, we both gave our names, she as Joan Wheeler, and me as Ruth Sippel. Our faces were not concealed.  Neither Joan, nor I, were paid any moneys for this televised appearance.

Many people know me, and know that I have an adopted-out younger sister that I was reunited with, and they know her name as Joan Wheeler.  Many people  have known that for the last 30 years Joan wheeler has been writing this book. Therefore, when that book came out, and Joan started publicizing it on the internet, and it was available for sale, someone sees it, sees the author “Joan Wheeler,” sees the photograph, and knows that photograph – they can know EXACTLY who Joan is writing about. Whether she changed ALL the names or only SOME of the names.

Also, Trafford Publishing puts out a guideline for authors. One of the guidelines says, “even if you change names, if someone can recognize themselves in your book, you can be sued for slander and libel.” 

In a recent correspondence with Gert McQueen, Americans for Open Records Lori Corangelo says in defense of Joan: “first time wrtiers make mistakes.” oh – well! First time drunk drivers who kill people make mistakes too. riiight.

Excuse me Lori, these are NOT “mistakes” that Joan did. She was given a specific contract with Trafford. She signed that contract KNOWING FULL WELL SHE WAS MISLEADING THEM. And when their attorneys learned the TRUTH of the matter – they pulled that filthy book from publication. It IS DEAD.

It has been listed as available on amazon.com. But – it is a “print on demand” situation. Once the original print run was exhausted, any new orders via amazon would be printed and sent to the buyer. BUT just two months ago, in a conversation with Trafford PUblishers, it was revealed that Trafford has pulled the book from even that status. They know that book is LEGAL TROUBLE for them and want nothing more to do with it. Amazon is a mostly automated site. It is going to list 3 copies as a come-on – a “bait and switch.” There is more to this story and will be posted next week. We have just been busy. We have several blog posts waiting to get up.

People need to learn once and for all that Joan Wheeler is a con-artist. She is a consumate liar. She could sweet talk and charm even Adolf Hitler! She will only tell a literary attorney and/or agent what they need to know to approve her work. She did it to Trafford. And as soon as they found out that she conned them – they pulled the plug on her. Lori, are you stupid or what?

Joan – remember – you can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time. And your days of fooling people are over! You can keep on insisting your book is the “truth” and keep on ignoring actual Buffalo City Court Documents and YOUR OWN HANDWRITTEN LETTERS TO ME AND OTHERS that prove otherwise.

For Joan to LIE about past police and court documents, even her own handwritten letters shows just how mentally disturbed and brain dead Joan Wheeler really is. I am begging someone reading this blog, to please, please, get Joan to a place where she clearly needs to be – The Buffalo Psychiatric Center.

LORI CORANGELO AND OTHERS: I think you’d better read this: from the pdf. file of Trafford’s Publishing’s “Terms and Conditions.” These are the Terms and Conditions that Joan Wheeler agreed to when she signed (under false pretenses) her contract with Trafford and the ones that she VIOLATED – she had hate speech in her book, obscene language, had me saying things that I didn’t, labeled me as a computer hacker with a criminal record and used MY photograph. 

http://www.trafford.com/uploadedFiles/Trafford/Common/Trafford%20Terms%20and%20Conditions_ebook%20pricechange_11182011.pdf

 
2. YOUR LEGAL RESPONSIBILITY
2.1. You represent that you are the sole copyright owner of the Work and all of its content.

2.2. You represent that the Work does not infringe upon any statutory or common law right of copyright, libel or privacy of any third party.

2.4. You further represent that the Work does not contain illegal, unlawful or objectionable material including, but not limited to, pornography, obscenity or hate speech. You acknowledge that the Work is not plagiarized and does not include falsely attributed statements of third parties.

3.(Trafford’s Legal Responsibility
3.2. We reserve the right to refuse to provide and/or to discontinue ALL Services upon our discovery of any violation by you of these Terms and Conditions, any other actions, omissions or misconduct by you with respect to Work, and/or your performance under these Terms and Conditions. In the event a complaint is made by a third party regarding the Work, we reserve the right to suspend the Services in accordance with Section 7.1 until such time as the complaint is satisfactorily resolved, as determined by us in our sole discretion.

Tell us again Lori of how Joan made a “mistake” – you are full of shit, and so is Joan.

Comment by Gert McQueen: 

This is very very interesting, indeed!!
As Ruth says:
“There is more to this story and will be posted next week. We have just been busy. We have several blog posts waiting to get up.”

There is definetly true! There is so much more to the story of Joan’s lying book and it’s DEATH! Stay tuned!

Make no mistake…the book, as she wrote it, is DEAD, it will never be republished. And…if she EVER writes another, she had better NOT mention the names and lives of the birth family…we give NO PERMISSION, for her to earn money off our names and lives.
Furthermore, we shall be always watching her to make sure she NEVER LIES ABOUT US AGAIN.

4. gertmcqueenDecember 12, 2011

Gert here…again…
Thank you Ruth for giving such a detailed clarification of the time line of when Joan published, on the internet and in print, lies about us, and when we got involved.

For the record…I had no knowledge of what Joan was doing, nor did I care, for years…I had about 3 contacts with her since 1980 and each one was used AGAINST ME by her.

In Dec of 2009 I was in the middle of a physical move when both Ruth and Kathy called me telling me that Joan published the book! I did not get to see a physical copy until late Jan 2010. I then got an email account and started emailing my posts to Ruth for her blog. It wasn’t until July 2011, when Ruth had a injury, did I get a blog of my own. In the past two years I have learned and read many many things that Joan has done that I was not aware of before but now that I am I shall make sure that everyone knows about them.

So Joan and anyone else out there that wants to believe in their own bullshit, be my guest and continue to lie to yourselves! But, truth wins out and liars are always shown for what they are!

If Joan is waiting for another opportunity she is going to wait for a long long time. Her story has been written and her history is NOW known. Any other book written by Joan will be looked at very carefully, believe me. Her book is not sleeping, it’s dead. Joan doesn’t understand the difference. Once a liar always a liar and anyone who thinks they can get another book published by that liar had better understand the nature of libel…it always follows you.

Beware of helping Joan Wheeler, you could find yourself in a law suit.

 

My complaint to Trafford Publications concerning the slander and libel contained in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler November 30, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Our Family History, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Here it is – at long last – my official complaint to Trafford Publications – the complaint that made them take a look at the book they published. The contract they had with Joan Wheeler was that the book was “ready-to-publish” that is, all editing for content had been done already.

Let me explain. Trafford is a publishing vehicle for authors to self-publish their works. Trafford offers several packages. They offer editing services, but Joan opted out of that. I wonder why? Because one of the articles of the standard contract Trafford offers to their prospective authors is: no obscenities. Yet on page 370 Joan publishes a post card that she received in the mail that had obscenities written on it. (and as usual – she blames ME for it – even tho the handwriting is not mine). – Anyway, she slipped that in under Trafford’s nose – she told Trafford that the book had already been edited for content. Therefore, nobody at Trafford ever read the entire manuscript – they took Joan at her word and published it.

Joan also signed the contract that stated that no slander or libel was contained in the book. She signed the contract under false pretenses. In my last two posts, A Letter I wrote to the district attorney in 1995 sheds light on Joan Wheeler’s harassments of me and refutes the lies on pages 325-333 in her book Forbidden Family  and  Graphics of scanned court documents, etc. that prove without a doubt that Joan Wheeler is a liar in her book Forbidden Family,  I outlined many lies contained in only pages 295 – 342, and provided actual court documents and actual letters (one hand-written by Joan, one typed out, and contains a hand-written note by Joan), that refuted those lies contained in only less than 50 pages in that hideous 600 page plus book.

When Joan signed the contract with Trafford, they took her word the book contained no slander or libel and published the book. When they received my complaint (along with one from Gert), it took them from January 2011 to May 2011 to research my complaint. In other words – someone from Trafford FINALLY sat down and read the garbage they had unwittingly published.  Not only did they have to read the garbage that Joan wrote – they had to look through the court documents that I sent them. Then they had to sift through all the convoluted lies and twisting of facts, events, dates that Joan did on those few 50 pages and that I outlined in my post A Letter I wrote to the district attorney in 1995 sheds light on Joan Wheeler’s harassments of me and refutes the lies on pages 325-333 in her book Forbidden Family .

The result? Trafford’s editors and legal staff agreed that Joan, by signing the contract under false pretenses, LIED to them and pulled the wool over their eyes. Their only recourse was to: PULL THAT GARBAGE BOOK  FROM PUBLICATION.

I also pointed out to Trafford that the photograph on the back cover of that garbage book is of ME and my siblings and parents. Joan had no right to publish that photograph. It was taken in 1955. Joan was not born until 1956.She was adopted out a year later. She was given COPY of it almost 20 years later. Copies of that family photograph were distributed to many family members during the 1950’s and 1960’s. One of the articles in the contract that Joan entered into with Trafford was that she “was the sole copyright owner of all content of the work.” She did not, and DOES NOT own the copyrights to MY photograph. Joan has a little blurb on her website that the faces are blurry and obscured by text – that is just her trying to get out of the mess that SHE alone got herself into. When I pointed out to Trafford (in a telephone call with Eugene Hopkins, at 11:am on May 9, 2011), that Joan did not get permission from ME (orally or written) to publish MY photograph – Mr. Hopkins agreed right then and there to PULL THE BOOK FROM PUBLICATION!

That happened on May 9, 2011, and to this day, November 30, 2011, Joan, in her delusional state, her continual REFUSAL TO FACE REALITY – still has a link on her website that directs “buyers” of this garbage book to a sales page on Trafford’s website – a page THAT NO LONGER EXISTS because Trafford pulled it down!

Joan Wheeler is a pathological LIAR – she not only lies to people to their face, she lies on the internet. She spent more than half of her life writing her precious book – the book that she invested so much wasted time and energy on – finally got the stupid thing published, but then got it pulled because she not only LIED in the book – she LIED to the publisher that it contained no lies.

AND this delusional LIAR has a facebook page promoting this book. A DEAD BOOK!  Ok, she made the page over a year ago – but it’s still in existence. BUT – she recently (October 2011) created an account on The Huffington Post, using this page. A page that promotes a DEAD BOOK! (because she can’t register on Huffington under her regular facebook page – thanks to her posting some lying shit about us back in March 2011 – and she got booted off of Huffington).  So what does she do – she re-registers under false pretenses. Using a dead book. Will she never learn NOT TO LIE?

So here is my complaint. There is a list of documents – I’m not going to post them all. Go here to this post to see only a couple of them. They are enough to back up my TRUTH of what happened. And to show how Joan Wheeler LIED in her book about me.

Part 1 of complaint of Ruth Sippel Pace

Re: book, Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler, published by Trafford

 Submission by Ruth Sippel Pace, birth sister of Joan Wheeler, author of the book Forbidden Family.

 For consideration of Trafford Publishing to rescind their contract with Ms. Wheeler regarding the publication of this book, on the grounds that the book contains many falsehoods, slanderous statements about me, Ruth Sippel Pace and other members of my family. The book also contains references to my life, which are personal in nature, and the author has not been given my permission to discuss with anyone, nor publish them in a book.

    Also, my photograph is published on the back cover, my face is clear, even though it is a picture of me as a child. I never gave permission for this picture to be published. The picture of my father’s face is clear. The author’s stance of her changing the names of living person’s in the book is enough to provide privacy does not hold up to the fact that she uses her own real name, Joan Wheeler in the book, identifies the city of her birth and the city of the birth of her birth siblings, as that of Buffalo, New York. Any person with any reasonable intelligence and who ever knew my father, would recognize his picture on the back cover of the book and put names to people mentioned in the book. My father worked for the city of Buffalo in Buffalo’s City Hall for more than 30 years and is well known. We also have a large family, and the Wheeler clan is also very large. Also, the details of Joan’s adoption have been publicized in the past, via a television interview of Joan and myself (together), and newspaper interviews of Joan and my father (separately). In the case of the television interview, both my face and Joan’s were in clear view, and our names were given on camera. In the newspaper articles, both my father, and Joan, had their photographs published, with their names published with the photos.

 In a conversation between my sister Gert McQueen and Mr. Tubio, Mr. Tubio requested the most telling of the lies we have found in the book Forbidden Family. I will start by refuting Joan’s narration of court cases that Joan and I were involved in against each other. This narration is on the following pages: 314 – 317, 322-333, 362-368. Unfortunately, Joan not only lies about actual events that happened between us, and the court cases, but mixes up the court cases with each other until there is such a convoluted narration of these events, that I have to resort to first telling you in a few short paragraphs, exactly what happened before I can point out any slanderous comments that are contained in these pages. I do have, scanned copies of actual court documents that support the truth of what happened. These are included at the end of this email, are listed as thus:

 01 -Joan’s complaint July 9, 1993

02a – restraining order Aug 9,93 – Feb 9,94

02b – closeup dates restraining order Aug 9,93 – Feb 9,94

02c – closeup name restraining order Aug 9,93 – Feb 9,94

03 – Joan’s letter to Albany, New York Dec 31, 94

04 – Ruth’s complaint 3-7-95

05 – Joan’s letter to John

06 – summons April 19 95

07  – certificate from Buffalo Police Academy 8-29-98

08  – Ruth’s petition to Family Court 6-4-99

09 – summons to Family Court 6-4-99

10 – temporary restraining. 6-4-99

11 – one year restraining order June 24, 99 – June 24, 00

 When it is necessary to refer to these evidence documents, during my narrative and the narrative contained in the book, I will be referring to them by their assigned number.

My second email contains the remainder of the many lies and invasions of my privacy that are contained in this book.

 I have listed the page number first, then the quote from the book in bold, and my objection/telling of the truth follows. Joan Wheeler refers to me, Ruth Sippel Pace as Brenda in her book. It is my contention that Ms. Wheeler’s purpose for writing the book is a means of revenge and hurting people that have ever disagreed with her. There are many personal attacks on me in this book. Throughout the book, Ms. Wheeler portrays me as an uneducated inner city ghetto dweller with a foul mouth and a person who drinks all the time. I have found many personal hateful slurs directed at me in this book. I believe she included these slurs in an attempt to hurt me, as she has done many things to me in the past 25 years to hurt me. For example, she made a complaint to my job that I was a computer hacker. After they investigated me, found me innocent, and told her this, she would NOT accept it. She called my job almost everyday for several months trying to get me fired. This book is just a continuation of Ms. Wheeler’s hate campaign against myself and others. Throughout the book, Ms. Wheeler puts words into other people’s mouths, those words usually are her own thoughts and she does this to lend credence to her fantasy that people agree with her on the topic she is writing about. And to lend credence that people actually DID agree with her, as she reports in the book.

    Right from the beginning, Ms. Wheeler presents a falsehood:

Page xvi

“I believe I have written a fair and accurate account.” “ This is my story as it happened to me.”

 I have caught Ms. Wheeler in many out and out lies that cannot be construed as a faulty memory, the most telling is blatant falsifications of actual court proceedings between Ms. Wheeler and myself and the decisions of the court.

     The court proceedings between me and Joan had their beginnings in 1990 when Joan and her ex-husband stole several hundred dollars from me. Between 1990-1992, there were many arguments between us over this. The theft of the money was one of previous misdeeds Joan had done to me.  It got to the point that in disgust, I told Joan I wanted nothing more to do with her. In February 1993, just before Valentine’s Day, I received a greeting card in the mail. Actually, the envelope was addressed to me. Inside was a Valentine’s Day card, for my husband, supposedly from Joan’s children. It was not a Valentine’s card that children hand out, it was a specialty card, for a “special Uncle.” (this was just the beginning of Joan’s playing games with the mail. I received many envelopes addressed to me, but the letter inside was for my sister Gert (who did not live in Buffalo, or the envelope was addressed to me and my husband, with the letter for me. Joan would also manipulate the return address and zip-codes so that if I attempted to refuse it and “return to sender” the post office’s machines would spit it back for delivery back to me). In May 1993, another envelope addressed to me arrived, inside was a forged letter – supposedly from my 10 year old nephew to my husband, but on close examination, you could tell the sloppy printing was Joan’s.

    During this time, Joan was receiving annoyance phone calls and she suspected me. She called the police and the phone company and arranged to have her line tapped. To ensure that I would call her, she sent a Father’s Day card, supposedly from her children, to my husband, and again, the envelope was addressed to me. And I took the bait. I called her, and she said, “hold on.” Click. ?? I called back. “Hold on.” Click. I called again, “Joan, this is Ruth.” I intended to ask why the envelopes were addressed to me, but the contents were for my husband, but then Joan swore at me and hung up. I got tired of her game and gave up.

    The following week, my electricity was cut off, as my husband and I were undergoing some financial difficulties. Knowing that Joan owed me over $700.00, I called her. I was crying and said, “Joan, I need help.” She hung up on me. I tried a couple more times. She kept hanging up on me. I got angry and called her and swore at her.

    Shortly afterwards, I got a call from Buffalo Police Detective Martin Harrington, who wanted to know why I was calling Joan. I told him exactly what I just wrote here. He said he believed me, and would recommend that Joan drop any charges against me. She went ahead and filed harassment charges on me, signing the complaint on July 9, 1993. (DOC 01) I do not have the summons for that court case, but appeared in front of Judge Robert Russell on August 9, 1993, where Joan was granted a six-month Order of Protection against, on ACD. (Adjournment on Consideration of Dismissal). (DOC 02a). The writing is hard to read, so you must look at DOCS 02b and 02c to make out my name, and dates of the duration of the six-month restraining order – August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994.

     Sometime in 1994, Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill from my employer (Buffalo General Hospital) got mixed up with a bill from another patient. Ms. Wheeler accused me of computer hacking and lodged a formal complaint with my employer. I was investigated and found innocent but Ms. Wheeler would not accept this. For several months, beginning in the fall of 1994 and continuing through January 1995, she was calling various departments in the hospital and telling numerous people how “bad” I was.  On December 22, 1994, a child abuse call was made against Ms. Wheeler. The caller identified themselves as me, saying that Ms. Wheeler had sex with my husband in front of her children. On December 31, 1994, Ms. Wheeler wrote to the New York State Department of Social Services, Child Abuse Maltreatment Register, in Albany, New York, to request a copy of the information of that call. (DOC 03).  In that letter, Joan refers to our court case of August 9, 1993, and informs them that I was put on six months “probation.”

    As my then fiancé, John Pace was named in the child abuse call, he was involved in talks with the Child Protective Services people, but HE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING, BECAUSE HE KNEW THAT I DIDN’T PLACE THE CALL. HE WANTED TO KEEP ME OUT IT, WHILE HE WAS TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT WAS GOING ON.

    The first I heard of this was in February 1995, when I received a large manila envelope from Ms. Wheeler. Inside were copies of letters that she wrote to the mayor of Buffalo, the commissioner of our local (Erie County) social services department, the formal complaint she wrote to my employer, and the letter of December 31, 1994 that she wrote to Albany New York. When I read the lie about me being placed on probation in 1993, I filed harassment charges against Ms. Wheeler on March 7, 1995.  (DOC 04). On March 17, 1995, Ms. Wheeler sent a letter to my fiancé via his mother’s house begging him to ask me to drop the charges and urged him to leave me. (DOC 05).

    We appeared before Judge Margaret Anderson three times, because it was adjourned twice due to a lack of time in the courtroom for the first two dates. On the first date of April 3, 1995, Judge Anderson instructed the court that no children were to be brought to the court. At the next court appearance of April 19, 1995, (afternoon session), (DOC 06), Ms. Wheeler did bring her two children, but they stayed out in the hallway with her friend Carol, even though it was a school day. At one point in the court, while we were waiting for our case to be called, I left to use the ladies room. I saw Carol and the children, but said nothing. Our case was adjourned to a date in May 1995. On this date, Judge Anderson dismissed my case against Ms. Wheeler, saying that “sisters should get along.” I thanked the judge for considering my case and left.

    I continued receiving harassing letters from Ms. Wheeler through the next several years. I ignored her. In the meantime, I involved myself in organizing a block club for my street, and became a neighborhood activist to improve the quality of life in my neighborhood. As part of this, I took a short course through the Buffalo Police Academy to be a VIABLE volunteer (Volunteers in Aiding Buffalo Law Enforcement). To be considered for this, candidates had to undergo a background check, and since I had a clean record (the one six-month restraining order had been summarily dismissed, because I had abided by the judge’s instructions to me to stay away from Ms. Wheeler). I had no arrest record, no record of probation, nothing. I was awarded my certificate and appointment to the VIABLE program on August 29, 1998. (DOC 07).

    On February 15, 1999, I received another letter from Joan, and in it she tells me that her son saw me driving past her house (DOC 08). This was a lie, as I didn’t even have a car at that time. I called her house to tell her to leave me alone and a male answered, and I hung up, saying nothing. I then sent her a letter telling her to leave me alone. I told her that I did not have a car, did not drive past her house. And that since she had a man now, she should concentrate on her own life and to leave me and MY man alone.

    Then on February 23, 1999, I received an envelope addressed to me. I did not recognize the return address, but inside was a letter to me from Ms. Wheeler, informing me that my husband had gotten the next door neighbor pregnant and the child was born in 1994 (totally untrue, as the only children born to women living in that house were 2 boys). (DOC 09).

    I met with the woman who lived at the address on the envelope – she was Carol, Joan’s friend who was in the court with Joan’s children. Carol told me that the previous year, Joan had been asking for a “hit man” to take me out. I went to the District Attorney’s office and they said that because it was hearsay, they couldn’t do anything about it. I spent the next two months trying to get harassment charges filed against Joan. I got another manila envelope from Joan, which I refused to open. I returned it, marking it “return to sender” and Joan then manipulated the return address and it came back to my house. I decided to return it to her in person. A neighbor drove me to Joan’s house. His car was leaking transmission oil and he kept a can of oil on hand. He suggested I put the oil on the envelope to prevent Joan from putting it in the postal service again. Which we did and I threw the envelope up on her lawn.

     This resulted in Joan calling my house and swearing at me. I talked to several people and they suggested I petition Family Court, as the District Attorneys were tired of the both of us sisters and not taking this matter seriously. On June 4, 1999, I did just that. (DOC 10). They listened to my complaint, and in front of me, they went into the court computer system and found the two previous court cases involving Ms. Wheeler and myself (1993 and 1995). They typed this information onto the complaint that I signed, issued a summons for both me and Joan to appear in Family Court on June 24, 1999. (DOC 11), and granted me a temporary restraining order ON THE SPOT (DOC 12). On June 24, 1999, Judge Margaret Szczur made the temporary restraining order permanent. (DOC 13).

 Now we shall examine how Ms. Wheeler presents these facts in her book Forbidden Family.

 Pages 314 – 315

Joan is discussing a conversation she is having with Det. M. H. The subject of her threatening to report our sister Kathy to the British Immigration Department comes up, as well as a couple of my pets.

 Det. H. did not know that there was any threat to call The Home Office – Back in 1989, Joan got into a snit with Kathy and said to me, “I ought to call immigration on her.” (as a revenge tactic). I told her not to do that. And I hadn’t told Kathy what Joan threatened to do, because Joan promised me she wouldn’t make the call. I eventually did tell Kathy, but it was AFTER this alleged conversation takes place. Joan alleges that the detective asks Joan who Brandy Sippel is, because supposedly, my phone bill is listed under that name. Which is false. Joan tells the detective that Brandy is one of my cats. False, Brandy was my dog. She mentions another one of my cats on page 315, Francoise (this conversation with the detective is supposedly taking place in February 1993). My cat Francoise had been put to sleep in 1992.

 Page 316 time frame – February/March 1993

“the detective issued a warrant for Brenda’s arrest to appear in a Buffalo Court. A Restraining Order was then issued to keep her away from me for a year.”

 Lie. Joan signed the complaint about annoyance calls from me on July 9, 1993, not in February or March 1993. The calls weren’t made until June 1993. see documents 01, Also an arrest warrant was NOT issued. What was issued was a summons to me by the court, not the detective, to appear in court. When a person is summoned into court, and they do NOT appear, THEN an arrest warrant is issued, and this warrant is issued by the COURT, not any police officer. As I did appear in court, no arrest warrant was ever issued, and I was never placed under arrest. Also the Order of Protection was for a period of six months, NOT one year. (DOCS 02a, 02b, 02c).  And this was issued ACD – Adjournment on Consideration of Dismissal, which means that if I stayed away from Joan for the six months, all charges would be dismissed. I did abide by the court’s orders – I stayed away from her and the charges were dismissed. We appeared in court on August 9, 1993, and the Order of Protection was for the dates August 9, 1993 – February 9, 1994.

 Pages 323-324

Joan is describing an event that took place on Saturday, July 31, 1993 (but she reports in the book it was for August 1, 1993. She and ex-husband were moving and had enlisted the help of my husband. Joan reports that I followed him to her house in my car, began screaming at him in the street, went up to Joan and accused her of having an affair with my husband. Joan says that four witnesses heard me screaming in the street. On page 323 she says: “The Restraining Order against Brenda wasn’t good enough to keep her away. On August 1, 1993…”

 Lies, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.

As we had not appeared in court yet, nor the restraining order set in place yet, I was in no violation of a restraining order on July 31, or August 1, 1993. I did not follow my husband in my car, we did not have a car at the time. I took the bus there. I had told my husband in the past I did not want him going to Joan’s house because of the trouble she was causing me. He continued to go there to visit with the children. I also repeated this request on July 31, 1993, and Joan overheard me, as she was standing nearby. I was not screaming at him in the street. I did not at any time accuse them of having an affair. I would also like to know who the four witnesses to my screaming are. I did not see four people outside the house. I did see ONE woman standing in Joan’s doorway, while Joan was standing outside the doorway, while my husband and I were on the sidewalk in front of the house. After I talked to my husband, who agreed to return home, I went across the street where Joan’s husband Colby Bell was putting things in his car. As I went to talk to him, it was JOAN who started the screaming, at her husband Colby — that he was not to talk to me. Joan then yelled at MY husband, who was walking down the street away from Joan’s house, that he should not be listening to me and he better leave me. It was at THIS point that I did yell back at Joan to shut up, and just because she can rule over HER husband, she wasn’t going to rule over mine, nor me. It was at this point, two of her friends came out of the house and they were looking at disgust at Joan.  I then left and walked down the street to join my husband.

 Page 325

“Brenda didn’t abide by the Order. She continued telephoning me at Brian’s house. Four months of harassment followed. … I had just come home from filing yet another harassment charge against Brenda in a different town jurisdiction.”

 Lies, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace, contradictory statement by Joan.

I did abide by the Order. I did not telephone Brian’s house, as I did not know where he lived, nor the phone number. I did not harass Joan for four months. No additional harassment charges were filed against me in 1993. The contradiction and proof of this lie: if I were in violation of the restraining order, and she did indeed file additional harassment charges against me, I would have been placed under arrest. This did NOT happen.

 Page 328

“The harassment charges against Brenda were dropped.”

 Lie. There were no additional harassment charges against me.

 Pages 328-329

Joan describes an event in early December 1993 of a child abuse call that was placed against her and the call also implicated my husband. “It was obvious that Brenda made this ‘anonymous’ report.”

 Lie, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. The child abuse call was made on December 22, 1994. The caller identified themselves as Ruth Sippel and named my husband. It is NOT obvious that I made this call. What IS obvious is that if I were going to make a prank child abuse call, I would NOT use my real name, nor name my husband and risk him getting into trouble. See DOC 03, Joan’s letter to the New York State Department of Social Services, Child Abuse and Maltreatment Register, in Albany, New York, dated December 31, 1994, which lists the correct date of the child abuse call, which was December 22, 1994. In this letter, Joan states: “We know this report was made by Ruth.” How could she “know?” The matter had just begun it’s investigation. Also Joan states, regarding the court case in 1993 over the telephone calls and she was granted the six months restraining order: “Ruth was found guilty and placed on six months probation.” Here we see ABSOLUTE PROOF of Joan’s history of lying to people about me. And to official people in law enforcement and child protective services!

 Page 329 time frame – December 1993 to about March 1994

“What followed the allegations of child abuse and neglect were three months of court dates waiting for the first charges to be cleared.”

 Lies. There were NO court dates between Joan and I during these months. See DOC 10, of my petition to Family Court, June 4, 1999, that lists the 2 prior court case between Joan and I were in 1993 and 1995, NOT 1994.

 Page 329-330 time frame – early 1994

“Our only recourse was to seek and Order of Protection. Three months of court dates followed. I brought my children to court as they were part of the case and needed to see for themselves just what was going on.”

 Lie, there were no court dates between Joan and myself in 1994.

Admission to possible child abuse – Joan does not say that her children were required to be in court, she says she BROUGHT them to a court case between adults. In 1994, her children were aged 10 and 7. Why would anyone drag young children to court to witness this?

 Pages 329 –330 time frame in the book – early 1994

“Three months of court dates followed.”

 Lies, mixing up years of court dates. The court case Joan is referring here happened in 1995, the case that I brought against her, appearing before Judge Margaret Anderson three times, because it was adjourned twice due to a lack of time in the courtroom for the first two dates. On the first date of April 3, 1995, Judge Anderson instructed the court that no children were to be brought to the court. At the next court appearance of April 19, 1995, (afternoon session), (DOC 06), Ms. Wheeler did bring her two children, but they stayed out in the hallway with her friend Carol, even though it was a school day. At one point in the court, while we were waiting for our case to be called, I left to use the ladies room. I saw Carol and the children, but said nothing.

 Page 330

“The court broke for lunch. The room full of people went to the lobby. My ten-year old son and seven year old daughter went up to the drinking fountain. I was at their side. Aunt Brenda came up to them and yelled, “You see what your mother is doing to me? You see? She drags you in court to see your poor Aunt go through this.”

 Lie. This never happened. NEVER. We were NEVER in court in 1994. At no time did I EVER disrespect her children. Telling sign this is a lie (despite the actual court documents): Joan does not say she approached a court bailiff, the prosecutor, judge or any one of many sheriff’s deputies that are always standing on guard to prevent these kinds of altercations. 

 Page 330

“Mom and I were granted an Order of Protection against Brenda in the summer of 1994. It was good for one year.”

 Lie. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Again, refer to DOC 10, my petition to Family Court, June 4, 1999, that lists the 2 prior court case between Joan and I were in 1993 and 1995, NOT 1994.

    Also, how could Joan and her mother and her children attend three months of court case in early 1994, Joan and her mother obtain an Order of Protection against me in the summer of 1994, over a child abuse call that HAD NOT BEEN PLACED YET? The call was not made until December 22, 1994, and we have Joan’s letter to Albany (DOC 03) to prove this.

   Also, nowhere in the book does Joan refer to the harassment charges I placed against her in 1995.

 Page 332

“Toward the end of May 1994 … my mother were … in the middle of ugly court dates against Brenda.”

 Lie, as stated above, there were no court dates for any court case between Joan and me in 1994.

 Pages 332- 333 – time frame 1994

Joan is describing the mix-up of her hospital bill. On page 333, she writes: “ A letter arrived a month later stating the error was attributed to a computer glitch and that my sister wasn’t involved. I wasn’t convinced. I called the head of the billing department and told him everything that was going on and that I wanted no further contact from Brenda.”

 Admission of Joan’s invading Ruth’s privacy. Proof of Joan having delusions. Proof of Joan not accepting what is true. She made a complaint of computer hacking against me. My employer investigated her complaint. Found that I did not do it. COULD not do it, as I work 11pm to 7am and the computers on the nursing stations ARE NOT EVEN CONNECTED TO THE BILLING DEPARTMENT COMPUTERS. My employer told Joan I was innocent, but Joan refuses to believe it. She is so full of hate against me, that no matter what nice thing any one says about me – she will fly into a rage over it and will not accept it.

 Page 333 – time frame in the book 1994

“A few days later, a padded manila envelope appeared on my front lawn. I picked it up. It was covered with a slimy greasy substance that I guessed to be cooking oil. … I was stupid enough to open it up. A note inside stated that ‘You, Joan, have been cut out of my life forever.’ Out tumbled photographs. … cut from ordinary 35 mm photos … they were photos of me, photos of my children. Since there was only one of my sisters living in Buffalo, I knew who had done this—-Brenda.”

 Lies, mixing up calendar years of events. As I had already indicated in my narration of The Feud between Joan and myself in the beginning of this complaint, this envelope was the one that I had received from JOAN in the year of 1999. This is the one that I refused to accept, marked “return to sender,” but Joan had manipulated the return address zip code so that the envelope would not returned to her house, but come to my house. This was the envelope that I decided to return to her in person. A neighbor drove me to Joan’s house. His car was leaking transmission oil and he kept a can of oil on hand. He suggested I put the oil on the envelope to prevent Joan from putting it in the postal service again. Which we did and I threw the envelope up on her lawn.  (Ruth’s note, November 30, 2011 – When I submitted this complaint, I made an error – I myself had mixed up a couple of events. My neighbor D. did have a car that leaked transmission fluid. At the time that John and I did not have a car. And he would take me grocery shopping – we would frequently have to stop to add transmission fluid, as I would have to a few years later, when I got a clunker car. I only realized my mistake a few months ago (July 2011) when I found a manilla folder that contained the actual letter that I wrote and then I realized my mistake. I’m human, just like everybody else. And when I make a mistake, I own up to it. Joan whines that her book is “to the best of her recollection.” But there is NO way that can be true – I can allow SOME forgetfulness – but to be saying we were in court when we weren’t – to say the court ruled this or that way, when it didn’t, to say that I was arrested, when I was not, to say that she herself was arrested, when she never was – is NOT forgetfulness – it is out and out LIES).

   Also, I never sent “cut up” photos of her to her EVER. I did cut her pictures out of photos in my personal photo album, but I had thrown them in the garbage. She only knows of the “cut up” photos, because she had looked at my photo albums in the year 2003 and saw that she had been cut out of my personal photos. We see Joan in all her vindictive glory here, she herself sent me the manila envelope, to make sure she would get it back unopened, I had to resort to putting oil on it so she could not use the post office again in her harassment of me. Then she reports the wrong year of the event, then she takes an event that happened in another year, and pads up her hate campaign against me to say that I was the responsible for the envelope in the first place. AND sent her photographs in an envelope that came from her originally, and I returned to her UNOPENED!

 Page 361

Ms. Wheeler describes herself calling my cousin on the phone and screaming at her.

 Admission of Ms. Wheeler harassing Gail.

 Page 363

Ms. Wheeler describes that Gail called the police. And that the Town of Eden, New York police called her on the phone. And then she was summoned into court for harassment.

 This is true. Because Gail knew of the harassment that I was receiving from Ms. Wheeler and as she was going through a divorce, as well as battling cancer, she was not going to accept being harassed.

 Page 363

Ms. Wheeler describes her talking to her friend Carol who suggested to Joan to write me a letter using her return address. The letter I received was a hate letter informing me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant.

Ms. Wheeler describes me as harassing Carol. (DOC 09)

 Lies, twisting of facts, not reporting the facts as they happened.

Yes, I got a letter from Joan from that address. However, Carol did NOT give Joan permission to use her address. And this is a contradiction of Joan’s behavior. She does not want letters from me, but goes ahead and writes letters to me. When I received the letter from Carol’s house, I went to her house. She wasn’t home and the name on the mailbox was not Joan. I left a note listing my name and address and asked why a harassing letter from Joan came from her house to me. I returned to her house a few days later and Carol said that her and Joan had been friends, had a falling out, and no, she did not give permission for Joan to use her address. Carol said that by doing this, Joan was showing her anger at both me and her. Carol began harassment charges on Joan the next day. While I was at Carol’s house, she informed that Joan had made a death threat against me and the next day, I also began harassment charges against Joan. This was also the same month that the Town of Eden Police (and NOT Gail) filed harassment charges against Joan.

    See DOCS 08 and 09 to see the hate mail that I was receiving from Joan. 09 was the one that came with Carol’s return address and we see again Joan’s history of lying about the outcome of the court cases. She once again states that I was placed on six months probation, which I was not.

 Page 364

Ms. Wheeler says that she was arrested three times in one month due to these three harassment charges.

 Lies. She was not arrested. She was “summoned” to appear in court. An arrest warrant would have been issued if she did not appear in court. Since she did appear for all three of these harassment charges, she was not arrested. Please see accompanying documentation that she was “summoned” into Family Court due to my harassment charge against her. (document number 08).

 Page 364 time frame 1999

Ms. Wheeler describes the judge (a male) as not letting me talk and that he kept cutting me off, and that me and my best friend sat directly in front of her and her mother. She also says that I was waving around a document from the Buffalo Police Academy. She does say that in the court case between me and her, I was given a one-year Order of Protection against her.

 Lies. Combining two different court cases. Contradictory behavior of the judge as reported by Joan.

 The court case that the judge dismissed my harassment charges against Joan was in 1995. It was Judge Margaret Anderson who dismissed the charges saying “sisters should get along.” Judge Anderson did let me speak, and yes, I was not pleased with her decision, but I accepted it. I did not have the document from the Buffalo Police Academy until 1998, where I attended a course there. (DOC 07). A pre-requisite would be a thorough background check on me conducted by the Buffalo Police Department showing that I have a clean record. Which I had, despite Joan saying on page 316 that I was placed under arrest. Part of my harassment charge against Ms. Wheeler was her slandering me by saying that I had an arrest record.

    The court case in 1999 was in Family Court, under Judge Margaret Szczur, who also let me speak, and granted me an Order of Protection against Ms. Wheeler for the duration of one year. I did show the certificate of my graduation from the Academy as proof that I did indeed have a clean record. I did not wave it around, I handed it to the judge. The course was in conjunction with my work with the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs, under the supervision of then Police Commissioner Rocco Diina, and my city councilman __ . Incidentally, it was Councilman ____ who suggested to me that I institute harassment charges against Joan through Family Court.

    If the judge would not let me speak and present my case, why then would she grant me the Order of Protection against Joan.

 Page 365

Ms. Wheeler describes myself and my best friend as loudly proclaiming in the court that we were superior to her because we took the police course.

 Lies. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Mixing up 2 different court cases. My friend did not take the course with me. My friend was not in the court in this case either. The date she accompanied me was in April 1995. As I did not attend the Academy until 1998, this could not have happened. At no time during the three court cases that I was involved in with Ms. Wheeler did I show any disrespect to any judge or court official, nor did I act out in court.

 Page 365

Ms. Wheeler describes me as throwing computer discs at her in the courtroom. She says her manuscript was on the hard drive of the computer and “it was clear that Brenda downloaded the files.”

 Lies. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. When I was at her friend Carol’s house, Carol had told me that she had received as a gift, an old computer from Joan.. She had called Joan a week prior to come and take it back. Joan refused. Carol put it out on her back porch. She informed Joan that it was going in the garbage. When I came to her house, Carol gave it to me, as it was now her property and she could do what she wanted with it. She also gave me a box that contained computer discs. I brought them with me to the court and when Joan’s lawyer approached me to ask me a question, I gave the discs to him to give to Joan, as they were labeled as chapters of her book. I had not looked at the discs. Her manuscript was not on the hard drive of the computer, but on separate computer discs. And how can anyone determine if someone downloaded files by simply looking at a disc?

   As to me throwing things in a court room, if I had thrown computer discs at her in the court room, I would have been arrested for contempt of court. This did not happen, because I never disrespected the court, nor Joan.

 Part 2 of complaint of Ruth Sippel Pace

Re: book, Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler, published by Trafford

 Page 8

“We got drunk one night…Brenda picked up the phone…we were drinking and got silly. Brenda panicked…didn’t know what to do. “ “I remember that phone call, I didn’t know anyone by the name of Brenda. I heard giggles and the phone went dead.”

 I, Ruth called Joan at 1:30pm from Gert’s workplace, a dentist’s office, during a non-patient day, we knew Joan’s name, but not her address. I began calling Wheelers in the phone book. When Joan answered, I did not give my name at all. I did ask for Joan, did ask where she was at bowling the previous night. Joan asked what number did I want, I repeated her number but changed the last digit, Joan told me I had the wrong number, I apologized, said goodbye and ended the call. I was NOT drunk, nor panicky.

 Page 100 – time frame – 1974

“Two days before I left for college, Brenda took me to meet Aunt Doris…she lived 75 miles from Buffalo.”

 I, Ruth, did not know how to drive in 1974, did not learn to drive until 1976.

 Page 174 time frame 1978

“I had Momma’s wedding dress for only four weeks. … my anger at my sisters and father got the better of me. I drove to Brenda’s house. I threw it (the dress) at her.”

 I loaned Ms. Wheeler the dress for the purpose of her having it cleaned and some minor sewing repairs done in the year 1978. She did not return it to me until late 1983, after many pleadings from me to return it. I finally had to ask my father to intervene. Ms. Wheeler brought the dress to my father’s house where I picked it up. The cleaning and repairs were never done.

 Page 186 time frame 1980,

Ms. Wheeler wanted to go public with her adoption story.

“Brenda called and said she was uncomfortable.”

 Lie. In 1980 or 1981, I accompanied Ms. Wheeler to WGRZ television studios to be interviewed by reporter Rich Kellman on our separation and reunion.

 Page 257

“I didn’t want to live in a trailer park to become trailer trash.”

 Bigotry, hate language, value judgment on people who live in trailer parks. 

 Page 263.

 Ms. Wheeler is quoting my father about my father’s second wife, being taken in an ambulance to the psych center. Supposedly he told Ms. Wheeler the arrangements were made for the ambulance to come around noon on a school day, and we kids were coming home for lunch.

“The ambulance attendants took her away in front of the kids.”

 The arrangements that were made were that we kids were picked up at school by social workers and taken to the foster home, so that WE WOULD NOT SEE OUR STEPMOTHER TAKEN AWAY SCREAMING IN AN AMBULANCE. We kids NEVER witnessed this. My father would NOT have made arrangements for this to occur as we were coming home from lunch, as he protected us.

 Page 270 time frame 1988

Ms. Wheeler describes in 3 paragraphs a funeral of my maternal aunt. She says that her adoptive mother attended the funeral. Ms. Wheeler describes my maternal uncle snubbing my father at the funeral and a conversation in the car with my father reminiscing about my mother, “I lost my wife and that man still blames me. How could I stop her from dying?” Then Ms. Wheeler quotes her adoptive mother as giving sage advice to my father about life and dying.

 I was at the funeral. Ms. Wheeler’s adoptive mother did NOT attend the funeral. My uncle may have snubbed my father, they did not get along. I was in the car. My father did NOT say this about my mother. My father very rarely talks about my mother. Ms. Wheeler’s adoptive mother did not give advice to my father in the car, as she was not there.

 Pages 276, 277, 278

Ms. Wheeler describes a fictitious account of her friend Dr. Rene Hoksbergen coming to my house and talking to me about adoption. In these pages, Ms. Wheeler describes me and my husband as exchanging dirty looks, portrays  me as a wild-woman, jumping up and down, waving my arms in the air, screaming at Dr. Hoksbergen and Ms. Wheeler. She also describes Dr. Hoksbergen lecturing me as though I were a child.

 Dr. Hoksbergen NEVER came to my house, and this incident NEVER took place.

 Page 277

“Oh Brenda,” I said, casting a disgusted look at her. “You’re just pissed off because you were trying to get pregnant and couldn’t. Just because you were using a fertility clinic to get pregnant with your partner, something I didn’t know when I wrote my article against sperm donors, doesn’t mean what I wrote is directed at you.”

 Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Invasion of privacy of Ruth Sippel Pace. (what does my not getting pregnant have to do with Joan’s life?) Hate language, insensitivity to infertile women, as well as a blatant lie. This speech never happened. But, I was not pissed off because I couldn’t get pregnant. Hurt, yes. Also I never went to a fertility clinic. I never objected to any article that Ms. Wheeler wrote about sperm donors.

 Pages 296, 297, 298  time frame 1992

Ms. Wheeler describes a scene at a Fourth of July outing in a local park with my father, my brother, my sister Gert McQueen and myself, where Gert and I are supposedly mocking her.

“Heh, she’s useless.” My sisters said sarcastically.

“Yes,” my father continued. “and I want you to know that we want you, Joan, to stop living in the past. You don’t need to be writing about adoption in the newspaper. You should find something worthwhile to do with your life. Taking care of children and writing aren’t getting the bills paid. Look at the others. They’ve done things with their lives. Where are you?”

Ms. Wheeler continues with a description of insults from Gert and “more giggling.”

 This is all totally untrue. Ms. Wheeler continues to the middle of page 298 with the description of this totally fictitious scenario. Ms. Wheeler describes a get-together at my father’s house that she was not invited to. There was no get-together, as my stepmother was at her daughter’s house celebrating her grand-daughters third birthday. Ms. Wheeler knew about this party as she was complaining about it to me on the phone the day before.

 Pages 299, 300

Ms. Wheeler describes a conversation that she had with her mother about the fictitious scene on pages 296-298.

 Character assassination of Leonard Sippel, (my father) Gert McQueen and Ruth Sippel Pace

I did not witness such a conversation, but it could not have happened has the “ridiculing” of Joan never occurred. Ms. Wheeler describes her mother as saying that we sisters started the family gathering in the park. In reality, my dance troupe was booked as performers for the Friendship Festival months in advance by our leader, M. W. with the Buffalo and Erie County Arts Council and The Buffalo Parks Department. As a coincidence, my brother came to town to visit. It was our father who suggested we meet at the park for a small reunion. My neice’s third birthday party was also scheduled with no thought of insulting Joan, her mother, or her husband.

 Page 308

“…my sisters wrote harassing letters in the months after our family reunion of 1992.”

Ms. Wheeler, in italics, presents a narrative that is attributed to have been written by Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Ruth Sippel Pace.

 Lies; character assassination of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Ruth Sippel Pace.

We never wrote harassing letters to Ms. Wheeler.

The letter that Ms. Wheeler attributes to us was never written by any of us three sisters. We believe that Ms. Wheeler wrote this narrative to make it seem that we three sisters “ganged up” on her.

 Page 309

“Why did they attack my work in the Adoption Reform Movement?”

 Lie. We never attacked her work in any adoption reform movement.

 Page 310

Ms. Wheeler continues, in italics, her false narrative of a letter supposedly written by us three sisters. — “My sisters included copies of the long, handwritten letters they wrote to the nine adoption reform movement organizations in the United States at the time. My sisters slandered me in an attempt to ruin my credibility as an advocate for adoption reform.”

   Out of desperation, I called one adoption leader, Joe Soll, Director of the Council of Equal Rights in Adoption in New York City. Yes, he received my sister’s hateful letters.”

 Lies, character assassination of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis, Ruth Sippel Pace and Joe Soll.

In an email exchange in May 2010 between Gert McQueen and Joe Soll, Mr. Soll denies ever receiving: 1. a letter from any or all of us sisters; 2. a telephone call from Ms. Wheeler regarding this letter. In his email, Mr. Soll says that what is written about him in the book is “patently false.”

 Page 311

“Harassment from my three older sisters continued… Hate mail arrived at my house…” Ms. Wheeler quotes her ex-husband as saying to her “You’re crazy just like your sisters.”

 Lies, character assassination of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Ruth Sippel Pace

We sisters did not send harassing hate mail to her.

 Page 312

“My sisters telephone my house morning, noon and night and in the middle of the night when most people are asleep. My young children often answered the phone and I heard my sisters – their aunts – yelling obscenities at them.”

 Lies. We did not call her house. We did not yell obscenities at her children.

 Page 312, 313

Ms. Wheeler lists obscene language and attributes this language to us.

“You f.. B….”  “You w….”  “You a….. . You f…. c….” “P… on you, you m…-f…”

 Lies. Obscene and pornographic language.

 Page 359

Ms. Wheeler in italics relates a fairly decent letter that she attributes to have written to our brother. I have never seen the original, so I have no way of knowing if what she writes here is true. But in this letter, she tells our brother “…my mother and my children and I are still hounded by harassing mail and phone calls from Brenda and company.”

Returning to the book, Ms. Wheeler then writes “I sent a similar letter to my sisters. I added that whatever they had against me needed to be talked out, resolved, so we could be a family again.”

 Lies, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Slander of Ruth Sippel Pace to her brother.

The letter that I received from Ms. Wheeler was not nice. It was to accuse me of harassing her that her son saw me drive past their house. Which was impossible, because I did not have a car at that time. A few days later I got another letter from Joan. It was to inform me, falsely, that my husband had gotten the next-door neighbor pregnant. – The house was vacant. See DOCS 08 and 09. Read those letters and see if you can find the sentence “whatever they had against me needed to be talked out, resolved, so we could be a family again.”

 Page 359, 360

“My sisters retaliated with yet more hate mail and vicious phone calls. Brenda and her best friend, a tough streetwise woman from the West Side, got in on the act and telephoned my mother, yelling obscenities…Mom held the phone to her ear and mind. I’d hear Brenda’s voice and her best friend’s voice, shouting at us. … “A year of hate mail followed. The envelopes had disguised handwriting and no return address so the police couldn’t trace the mail.”

 Lies. Character assassination of Ruth’s friend.

No phone calls were made by me or my friend to Joan or her mother. No hate mail was sent to Joan.

 Page 360

Ms. Wheeler describes a scene in a grocery store where my friend accosted her and swore at her.

 Lies, obscene language. My girlfriend lived on the East Side of Buffalo, Ms. Wheeler lives in a northern suburb of Buffalo, where she does her grocery shopping. My friend did not have a car, and wouldn’t drive 5 or 6 miles to a grocery store, when there was one less than a mile from her house. Telling sign this is a lie: Ms. Wheeler does not say that she went to a security guard at the store, or even called the police.

 Page 360

Ms. Wheeler involves my cousin Gail, who at the time was battling cancer and going through a divorce. Ms. Wheeler describes taking her car to be repaired and the repair person was one of my cousins, who I had not seen for more than 20 years. Ms. Wheeler says “exactly 10 days later, an anonymous envelope … arrived in the mail….I knew it was Brenda. (the envelope supposedly contained an defaced article about adoption reform).

 Lies. I did not send her any envelope with any article on adoption reform.

 Page 360, 361

Joan describes her sending me a letter begging me to stop bothering her and then I called her on the phone..

 Lies. I did not receive any letter from Joan at this time, nor did I call her.

 Page 365, 366 time frame 1999

Ms. Wheeler describes a falling out she had with my step aunt and uncle and attributes that falling out to me gossiping about her.

 Lies, I had not seen, nor spoken to my step aunt and uncle since about the early 1980’s.

 Page 366

Ms. Wheeler describes herself and her mother being “barraged by harassing phone calls. I recognized the voices as being Brenda and her best friend…”

 Lies, my friend and I did not call her house.

 Page 370

Ms. Wheeler shows a photocopy of a letter she received in the mail that contains pornographic language. She accuses me of sending this to her. It is not my handwriting.  She also blames my friend. Further she states “their language reflected the lifestyles they had chosen.”

 Lies, slander. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace and her freind Hate language directed towards Ruth Sippel Pace and her friend. My lifestyle includes a 38 year career as a Patient Care Associate/Nurse Aide at Buffalo General Hospital; organizer and leader of a block club on my street; member of the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs, which entailed meetings with local elected officials and police officers; being a VIABLE volunteer with the Buffalo Police Department; I am a former professional Middle Eastern Dancer, former board member of the Beledi Club, an organization for Middle Eastern dancers, and Buffalo and Erie Arts Council. In my job I served on various committees designed to improve delivering quality patient care; I have worked in the following departments in my long career at the hospital: Medical Intensive Care Unit, Respiratory Care Unit, Hospice Unit, Kidney Transplant Unit, as well as various medical/surgical units. Due to my work as a neighborhood activist, I organized a rodent containment petition from the 4 streets surrounding my home, (of which I own, one mortgage having been completely paid off, a second mortgage obtained to replace roof), delivering the petition to the mayor of Buffalo, NY. In 1997 when the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs obtained an empty storefront to use as their offices, my husband and I volunteered many hours to provide manual labor, such as installing drywall, painting walls and furniture. As members of the Coalition, I contributed to the monthly newsletter, and helped with the production and distribution of the newsletters, and attended monthly meetings of the Coalition, and did volunteer work at the Coalition Carnival.

 I have attended meetings of the Buffalo Common Council, The Niagara Frontier Transit Authority (to help improve public transportation in Buffalo and the surrounding area), organized neighborhood clean-up drives, block parties on National Night Out. Because of much of my civic volunteering, I have been urged by many people to enter local politics. I include in my personal friends, the director of a well known local art center, several local elected officials, two well-known noted cardiologists, one internal medicine physician, one urologist and two other doctors who I have known since their days as interns in the hospital. I maintain friendships with many registered nurses and other nurses aides. I also trained as a union steward in my local labor union representing nurses aides: SEIU 1199, but eventually turned down the appointment of union steward. This does not deter many nurses aides, as well as registered nurses to approach me on advice on our union contract.

  For the past 10 years, I also have supervised the production of a bi-monthly newsletter of a local Star Trek fan club, of which two years ago, I became the head of. For this group, I have helped organize local Star Trek conventions and manned tables at conventions, greeting fans and Star Trek celebrities alike. I have formed several personal friendships with some Star Trek celebrities. I will not “name-drop” here, and I only mention my friendships with these celebrities, local politicians and health care professionals to point out that I am far from the foul-mouthed ghetto trash that Ms. Wheeler portrays me as in her book.

 My friend has trained as para-legal and also has had many accomplishments in her life.  We are highly insulted to have been labeled as foul-mouthed, ghetto trash.

 Page 375

Ms. Wheeler describes a scene that happened during my cousin Gail’s wake. She alleges that “Dad asked me to make peace Brenda. I approached Brenda with an outstretched hand to shake her hand. ‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ I said. Brenda ran away from me, waving her arms in the air. Through her tears she managed to flash an intense angry glare at me.”

 Lie. Ms. Wheeler did approach me at the wake, calling my name. I ignored her, trying to keep the peace. She called me again. I turned and said “What?” Ms. Wheeler said, “I’m sorry, I know how much Gail meant to you.” I put my hand up to stop her. She was 10 feet away from me. I told her to just leave me alone. I burst into tears and did run out of the funeral home, and my husband and my father both followed me outside. My husband held me and my father said “Joan should not have said anything to you. I will talk to her.” I told my father, “Tell her to leave me alone. Just tell her to leave me alone.”

 Page 381

Ms. Wheeler describes looking at my personal photo albums that I brought to Arizona to attend my brother’s funeral. She recognizes where I had cut her pictures out of my personal photo album.

 This is the basis of her accusation that I had sent her those pictures. I had not – I had thrown the pictures in the garbage.

 Page 382

Ms. Wheeler describes another guest at my brother’s house as objecting to my having my sibling’s birth certificates in my personal photo album.  Ms. Wheeler has woman saying she is a government worker and is telling me that I have these birth certificates illegally.

 Lies. There was no guest at my brother’s house who was a government worker. I obtained my siblings birth certificate legally at Buffalo City Hall by showing proper identification and paying a fee of $35.00 for each birth certificate. As I noted in my introduction, throughout the book, Ms. Wheeler puts words into other people’s mouth, those words usually are her own thoughts and she does this to lend credence to her fantasy that people agree with her on the topic she is writing about. This is one example. Ms. Wheeler cannot obtain HER original birth certificate because she doesn’t have proper identification as a SIPPEL. Therefore she is angry because I do have the proper credentials to obtain SIPPEL birth certificates. To lend credence to her argument that I have the documents illegally, she picks another guest at the house and like a ventriloquist, she writes what she thinks the guest will look good saying in the book.

    The information I was gathering is for the purpose of having a complete family tree. The birth certificates are kept together with my mother’s death certificate. This information is that which used to be included in pages of a family’s bible. This sort of information gathering on families has been done for centuries. Incidentally, NO ONE in the family has objected to my having my siblings birth certificates. My father looked at my photo album while in Arizona, as well as my sister-in-law and my brother’s son. They all saw the birth certificate of my brother, and no one had any objection.

 Page 382

Ms. Wheeler continues her rant about my having my siblings birth certificates and notes that I did not have my younger half-brother’s birth certificate in my photo album. She states “I made a mental note of the deeper meaning in Brenda’s chopped up photo album. This was her attempt to make sense out of her…severed family life.”

 Lie, personal misguided interpretation of someone else’s thoughts. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.

How does Ms. Wheeler know what is in my thoughts? I object to having someone publishing their interpretations of my thought processes published in a book. The reason my younger brother’s birth certificate was not in my photo album was because I had not obtained it at that time, due to time and financial restraints. I did obtain it a few years later and it is in my photo album right now. As to the “chopping up” of my photo album, I had just begun in the year 2002 to obtain the documents and actually organizing my photos. They were in boxes, and now were in albums. And my photo albums are even more chopped up now – I have scanned into my computer a full album’s worth of photos, documents and greeting cards into my computer. And those that I have not given away, or put away to be given to other family members, have been shredded and destroyed. I have done all the work up to the year 1970. If Ms. Wheeler saw my photo albums today with no physical evidence of anything prior to 1970, she would put forth the misguided diagnosis that I have tried to destroy my life prior to 1970. Ms. Wheeler did not ask me WHY my photo album was “chopped up” to include the true reason as to why some things were missing from the album, in her book and she certainly did not obtain my permission to put her interpretations of my life and thoughts into her book. I fail to see what MY goal of scanning into my computer a complete family tree and history of our family has to do with HER adoption and adoption reform work.

 Page 383

Ms. Wheeler describes me as looking at a picture of her son and giving a disgusted grunt and turning away from his picture.

 Lie. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.

 I looked at the picture, nodded, and said, “Mmm.” I was trying to keep the peace by remaining silent. And this is also indicative of Ms. Wheeler’s contradictory attitude towards my thoughts and words and behaviors. If I do or say something regarding her or her children, husband or adoptive mother, or anyone else for that matter, she jumps on me. If I don’t say anything, thinking that by remaining silent I will keep the peace, Ms. Wheeler interprets my silence as haughtiness or a refusal to acknowledge her presence. If I acknowledge her presence, she psycho-analyzes my words and deeds and always finds me in the wrong. In Ms. Wheeler’s eyes, I am damned if I do anything and damned if I don’t do anything. Read the book you published – you will see almost every other page is an attack on Brenda. “Brenda did this, Brenda did that. Brenda DIDN’T do this, Brenda DIDN’T do that.” I can’t win no matter what I do or don’t do. Her hatred of me jumps right off the pages of this book.

 Page 383

Ms. Wheeler describes my husband (Larry in the book) as telling her that I found her “children’s photos in his wallet and yelled at him that she didn’t want him to have anything to do with me and that included cutting off ties with my children.’

 Lie. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.

 Ms. Wheeler has no way of knowing of any personal conversation I had my husband.  But I did tell him that I did not want him going to Joan’s house because of the trouble she was causing me. He continued to go there to visit with the children. I also repeated my request on July 31, 1993, when he went to her house to help the family move. She over heard me say this to him, and twists the truth around to make me look as though I were a spying shrew, hen-pecking my husband. 

    I don’t look in my husband’s wallet. I did know of the pictures of Ms. Wheeler’s children in his wallet, because my husband showed them to me. And they are still there. I have scanned into my computer those photos only about six months ago, and my husband returned the pictures to his wallet in front of me. As to the subject of “chopping up” photos, Ms. Wheeler needs to answer for her own crime, to which she admits to in the book on page 358:

“once a month or so, I scrambled through the house, bagging up my children’s personal belongings, toys, books, gifts, even Russian nesting dolls I’d given my daughter – and threw them away….During these rages I screamed at my children as if I hated them.”

And she told a cousin of ours two years ago that she her own children’s photos, toys, school work, art work, IN FRONT OF HER OWN CHILDREN.  (of course she didn’t put that in the book).  If her narration in the book of me yelling at my husband for him having photos of her husband or cutting her out of my personal photo album is supposed to be a crime, she is way more guilty than I ever could be. Again, we see where Brenda (supposedly) does (almost) the same thing that Ms. Wheeler does, and should burn in hell for it, whereas Ms. Wheeler is an angel.

 Page 385

Ms. Wheeler describes me as hugging her at the side of our brother’s casket. “We hugged as we sobbed. But her arm dropped as suddenly as she reached out. That would be the last hint of love between us.”

 Half Lies. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace

 I did reach out to her. She was standing to my right. I did reach out with my right arm and put it over her shoulder and drew her to me. I do not recall how long I held her. I was grieving my brother and naturally reached out to my sister. Again we see Ms. Wheeler’s psycho-analyzing my every move. If I hung on to her too long, I suppose she would say that I was accepting her back into my life, which I don’t want. I only wanted to comfort her over the death of our brother. In simply reaching out to her in my grief, I showed that I didn’t hate her. And this was only 3 weeks after my meltdown at my cousin Gail’s funeral.

 Page 388

Ms. Wheeler describes an email exchange between regarding actions on a family photo web site I was building.

“Then I made the mistake of bringing up the past in a private email to Brenda. She flew into a rage, wrote me back saying the website was no place to discuss family dirty laundry, even though I didn’t post my email on the website. … I responded by terminating the email account I opened just for communicating with Brenda.”

 Lies. Twisting of the facts.

In 2003, I did build a website. At our brother’s house in Arizona, Ms. Wheeler and I exchanged emails. I needed her email to send an invitation to her to the website. In order to be a member of the website, members DID have to provide the website with their email. Everything was going fine from October 2003 to December 2003. Ms. Wheeler posted a photograph that had my two oldest sisters as children with Santa Claus. Ms. Wheeler had the wrong year on it. I corrected the year. Also moved the photo to the proper forum. As I knew the correct year and as the owner of the site, I had the right to do this. In January 2004, it was Ms. Wheeler who flew into a rage because I had “tampered” with her photo, and accused me of plotting against her. At this time, I did not own a computer of my own. I was doing all online work on public computers. When Ms. Wheeler sent the angry email to me, I was sick for a week and not able to get to a computer. The email got buried. I saw it in April 2004, and could not believe the nonsense. For three months, we were getting along, building a family photo website, (which should dispel any erroneous conclusions that I was trying to make sense out of my severed life, as she puts forth on page 382. (see what I mean about her contradictory interpretations of me? And how she contradicts herself in her own book?). I did answer her email as soon as I saw it. I asked her why was she bringing up the past – why can’t we just go forward? I never said anything about posting family dirty laundry on the website or in my email – (I still have the actual email exchange that proves what she said to me, and my response). 

 Page 389

Ms. Wheeler quotes my father as saying “Education, that’s what I needed….if I had more education, I would have kept you. … if I had education, none of this would have happened.  If someone would have told me how to keep you.“

 Lies. Character assassination of Leonard Sippel

Although I was not present to hear this conversation, I know my father would not, COULD not have said this. My father WAS educated. He worked as a civil engineer/draftsman in Buffalo’s City Hall in the Streets Department. (Ms. Wheeler portrays him as an uneducated laborer, working as a machinist in the book). Ms. Wheeler is insinuating here that if my father was better educated he would not have given her up for adoption. It wouldn’t have mattered. The bare fact is that whatever level of education my father had, whatever occupation he had, he still would have had to go to work everyday to earn money to support his family. He could not do this with an infant. There were no daycare centers in 1956, nor welfare system as we have today. Nor was any family member able to help out. My father’s hands were tied. It is Ms. Wheeler’s continual refusal to face these facts that has her once again, putting words into people’s mouths to support her delusions and fantasies.

 Page 393

Ms. Wheeler discusses her mother sharing photographs of her with her aunts and says: “…my aunts gave these pictures to my natural mother’s sister.”

 Lie. My aunt Catherine had only ONE photograph of Joan, taken of her First Holy Communion.

 Page 423

“…my sisters and brother suffered serious, extended childhood trauma. These facts resulted in them imposing trauma on me…”

 Lies; speculation on MY childhood experiences; character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace, Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Leonard Sippel Jr.

These are NOT facts, these are Ms. Wheeler’s statements due to her personal faulty interpretation of our childhood, of which she did not share. Ms. Wheeler is not trained as a doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist or any where in the medical field. She has a degree in social work, but as she has never worked as such, she has no experience in the field. Also, I was never interviewed by a qualified child psychologist (much less Ms. Wheeler) in a medical or similar setting about my childhood. What are Ms. Wheeler’s qualifications to pronounce judgment on MY mental health, my childhood, my life experiences? Or my siblings? And she has no right to publish her OPINIONS on this matter concerning me or my family. I would suggest anyone reading this paragraph read again my life accomplishments, (listed above) and consider my lack of any substance abuse, criminal record or any other anti-social behavior. Read The Book and read Ms. Wheeler’s own admissions of her anti-social behavior, alcoholism, thoughts and threats of suicide.

 Page 490

Ms. Wheeler is describing my father (her natural father)

“Poor, advanced to working class 1950’s, advanced to middle-middle class in 1970’s.”

 Lies, character assassination of Leonard Sippel

Ms. Wheeler does NOT portray the true facts about her own natural father, my father.

My father started work for the City of Buffalo in Street Paving Department as a civil-engineer/draftsman on July 20, 1953 and maintained that position until his retirement on September 17, 1988. From 1965 to 1970, he also maintained a part time second job as salesman at Sears. In 1965, he bought a house, the first in his family to own property. He also had 4 teenagers at home, which in the 1960’s, as well as today, is an expensive obligation. Kids and houses are NOT cheap. My father married his third wife in October 1970, and after having a child with him (along with her two daughters from a previous marriage), went back to work as a nurse’s aide in 1972. I was also employed as a nurse’s aide and lived at home and helped take care of the children. The reason my father “advanced to middle-middle class in the 1970’s was because for the first time in his life, he was a member of a two-income family (actually three-income, when I was there 1972 – 1974).  My father sold his house in 1975 and took a spacious apartment. The rent was cheaper than the mortgage and all the expenses related to owning a house. This also helped his financial status.

 Page 491

Ms. Wheeler is discussing my father’s second wife.

“How this step-mother was removed from the home, in front of her son and step-children was a form of cruelty to her and emotional trauma to the children. Witnessing their mother and step-mother being carried away in a straight-jacket had lasting effects on them.”

 Lies. We children NEVER witnessed this. I myself did not learn of her being taken away in a straight jacket until about 15 years when my sister Gert told me about it. What happened was – my stepmother was having severe mental problems. My father told me once that she was examined by a doctor and it was decided that she should be placed in the psychiatric hospital in Buffalo. He told me that it was all arranged and the day she was placed there, social workers came to our school and picked up us children and took us to the foster home (Gert and Kathy) and the orphanage (me and my brothers).  My father was with me and my brothers – I remember him holding my hand as we entered the orphanage run by the Catholic nuns and the huge statue of St. Joseph welcoming us. Gert was about 12 at the time. She told me about 15 years ago, that when she was about 17 or 18, she went back to our old neighborhood to visit some old friends and the mother of one of our childhood friends (who lived across the street from us) told her of the day that our step-mother was placed in the ambulance, in a straight jacket, and she was screaming. All the neighbors witnessed it and they all said it was sad, but were glad that we children were not around to see it. Even the times that my stepmother came home from the psych center and me and my brothers came home from the orphanage, our landlord, landlady, and neighbors NEVER told us what happened. As I said, I myself never knew about it until about 15 years ago (c 1995), much less witnessed it in 1959. Ms. Wheeler had been adopted out of our family in 1956, her family moved to Tonawanda, New York and was not there.

 Page 529, 530, 531, 532

Ms. Wheeler again is accusing me and my sisters of harassing her.

(529) “…their joint letter writing campaign after our family reunion in 1992. The following year they wrote lengthy letters to the major adoption reform organizations to tell them what an asshole I was.” (530) “…looking back, now I can see they are tortured souls.” (531) “Each one of my sisters had something to hide, something they did not want me to write about, which I have not written about. … They chose to harass and mock me, so I wrote about it.”  “Harassing my husband…Calling our home and yelling obscenities at the our young children. … Calling the home of my boyfriend…. Calling the Child Abuse Hotline and accusing my then 80 year old mother, and me, of sexual abuse.”

 All lies. Slander, threats.

Many of these lies have already been addressed. But now is added this new statement that each one of her sisters have something to hide. This implies a threat. I have no idea to what Ms. Wheeler is alluding to here. I have nothing to hide. As I stated above: I do not engage in criminal or anti-social behavior, do not abuse substances (I barely drink), I have had a long career as a health-care worker (38 years with the same employer), and have been involved in the performing arts and as a neighborhood activist. When I took a course at the Buffalo Police Academy, a background check was done on me, and nothing showed up. So just what is my secret that Joan Wheeler thinks she has over me?

 Page 531

“I wrote about my sisters, and anyone else, at the point where our lives intersected.”

 Lie. Falsely writing about me and my siblings witnessing my siblings witnessing our step-mother being placed in an ambulance is not a point where our lives intersected. As I stated above, Ms. Wheeler was adopted out of our family in 1956, and the event took place in 1959. Yes, the Wheelers did coincidentally lived one block over in 1956, then they moved three blocks away shortly after adopting her, and in 1957, they moved several miles away from us. Ms. Wheeler’s life did not intersect with ours until 1972, when I was placing phone calls to Wheelers in the phone book and her life did not fully intersect with ours until 1974 when we were physically reunited with her.

Even so, this “intersection” of our lives does not give her the right to violate our privacy and tell lies about us in this book.

 Page 532

Ms. Wheeler discusses our brother.

“Our sisters poisoned him against me for 11 years.”

 Lies, speculation.

We did not “gossip” to our brother about Joan.  And how does she even know a time duration for this? It was Joan herself who was calling him, writing letters to him and trashing us to him and his wife that turned him against Joan. He quite naturally became disgusted with having his sisters trashed. Proof – Ms. Wheeler admits to trashing us to him on page 359, as I have already addressed this issue. I repeat it:

page 359

Ms. Wheeler in italics relates a fairly decent letter that she attributes to have written to our brother. I have never seen the original, so I have no way of knowing if what she writes here is true. But in this letter, she tells our brother “…my mother and my children and I are still hounded by harassing mail and phone calls from Brenda and company.”

Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler on Google Books November 11, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler on Google Books

my review of Forbidden Family on Google Books

It should be noted here that this book was pulled from publication by Trafford Publications on May 9, 2011 due to its slanderous and libelous nature. The author lied to the publisher that only truth was written. Copies of actual court documents from harassment cases involving the author were submitted to the publisher as proof of the slander contained in the book. The author changed only some names, and left a footnote referencing an article written in the 1980’s that contained real names, thereby leaving a clear path for anyone to find out true names of individuals in the book.
The author also lied to the publisher in saying that she owned the sole copyright to a family photograph on the back cover. The photo was of me, my parents, and my siblings – taken the year before the author was born. The author does not own the copyrights to this photo, nor obtained my permission to publish my photograph.As this photo has been widely distributed amongst various family members in the 1950’s (and the author used her true name), again, it is not hard to know just who the author was writing about – there was no protection to conceal identities in this book.
This, along with the readily proven slander in the book, showed the publisher the true intent of the author – a smear campaign against people in her life who ever disagreed with her or angered her.
This book will never be printed – the author has been showed not to be a truthful person.
For more information see Refuting a Book of Lies at https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/
and Reclaiming the Sippel/Herr Family Honor at http://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/

1. Ruth
to those who missed it – Joan put forth on her website that when we birth sisters of hers published our names on our blogs, we invalidated any privacy we may have expected from concealed (or not concealed) names.

The point is: we did put forth our true names, yes, but that was our conscious decision to make and we do not make any monies from our blog. Also, the photograph in question is readily available online on my personal facebook page in one of my photo albums, and on my Picasa/Google online photo albums. And again, I make no monies from this. The photograph was put on the internet by me, to SHARE freely with other family members.

The difference is – Joan Wheeler used MY photograph on a book that was to make monies for her. Joan Wheeler violated copyright laws in doing this. She did not obtain written permission from the four living individuals in the photograph (two of those pictured were deceased at the time of publication, and one more has since expired).

If Joan Wheeler wishes to gain a monetary income, then she had better seek gainful employment, and not try to seek monies from the story of MY life – she had events of MY life that had nothing to do with HER adoption, our reunion, or her adoption reform work. And she lied about those events.

Because she violated copyright laws, failed to protect our identities in a book that she was seeking income from, and slandered me and others in her book, her book has been killed.

Joan refuses to accept the reality of this. Six months after the book has been pulled, she still continues to promote it on her website. She still has a page called “About and Buy” with a link to the page that Trafford Publications used to sell the book. The page was removed by Trafford on May 9, 2011. The book canNOT be bought from them. Why does Joan still keep that page and the link to a non-existent sales page? Because Joan is delusional and canNOT and will NOT accept that her book has been killed for very good reasons.

Joan is her mental illness continues to insist that there was nothing wrong with her book. If that is so, why is this book not being printed? There is very much many things wrong with this book – Joan just refuses to admit it. She wants to save face, but all she is doing at the present time is showing the entire world what a delusional person she is. She has been found out – black and white evidence was shown to the publisher and posted on this blog – yet Joan still says she did not lie.

Only a mentally ill person contnues to insist they did not lie, even when ABSOLUTE proof is presented that they did lie. Only mentally ill persons continue to support Joan when faced with those same ABSOLUTE proofs.

from Gert McQueen’s blog: Do some adoptees, that have mental illness, get it from their genes or environment or because they are adopted? Joan Wheeler presents her views! November 7, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Today, November 7, 2011, Gert McQueen posted this on her blog. I am posting it here, in it’s entirety, because it’s so important. – Read, and please learn from it.
 
by Gert McQueen 
Do some adoptees, that have mental illness, get it from their genes or environment or because they are adopted? Joan Wheeler presents her views!
 
The question was raised on Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change…
 
« on: October 24, 2011, 03:28:47 PM »
 
 
If you are diagnosed mentally ill…. do you feel it is genetics, crazy upbringing by aparents or is it just the life on an adoptee? where do you think it comes from.
 ***
 
 1adoptee AKA Joan Wheeler answers
 
« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2011, 12:41:17 PM »
 
 
Nancy Verrier’s other book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, is one that ought to be given to any therapist who treats an adoptee. Verrier addresses the core issues of abandonment and loss. On page 429: “…proceeds from the separation trauma. It would be a huge mistake to try to untangle the adoptee’s relationship to the adoptive parents without understanding of the lens through which the adoptee views them. All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well. Something devastating happened to him which makes him distrust close relationships.” … “Instead of pathologizing society’s penchant for separating babies and their mothers, we pathologize the victims of a grave wrongdoing… We need to normalize the adoptee’s and the birth mother’s responses to this separation or at least come up with a better diagnosis, because what is happening is that inaccurate diagnoses are resulting in poor or harmful treatment.” “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions….The most notorious is the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. This term is frequently used within the mental health profession as little more than (page 430) a sophisticated insult…..Adoptees are not Borderlines!” Basically, adoptees do not split in their minds. Adoptees actually do have two mothers and two fathers. (my words) On page 448: “This brings us to a more accurate diagnosis for what adoptees and birth mothers are suffering from —- post-traumatic stress disorder. …trauma is based in reality, unlike other psychological disorders, trauma is based on a true experience.” Get the book and ask your therapist to read it.
 
 What she say? Oh right…abandonment and loss! Are adoptees the only people that have experienced these things? Most of this comes from a certain point of view that is current in the psycho-babble of ‘healing the adoptee’ and this babble gives these angry militant adoptees a license to go out and browbeat everyone and everything in favor of adoption. These people ought to be ashamed and the public informed…which is what I’m doing.
 
Any child that has been placed with someone, other than an parent, for any reason, might suffer from abandonment and loss. I know that I DID and I’m not an adoptee! I have had issues with ‘distrust in close relationships’ too, not because I was adopted but because I felt the abandonment and loss that comes from having a parent die when I was a small child and having been placed in a foster home! These issues are NOT the sole property of adoptees!
 
It just might be that if a person has a mental illness it just means that…they have a mental illness and they ought to stop laying blame, for it, upon adoption. Joan Wheeler will never see the world in the way it truly is because she is a true believer in the ‘world according to Joan’ and we must not confuse her with anything but her own facts.
  
Joan says: Basically, adoptees do not split in their minds. Adoptees actually do have two mothers and two fathers.
 
Well…I too had more than one mother and father…I had foster parents!! And I was also grateful to have had someone who cared for me!
 
Joan says: post-traumatic stress disorder. …trauma is based in reality, unlike other psychological disorders, trauma is based on a true experience
 
It seems to me that some types of adoptees are just not able to come to terms with their life like regular people do. Here is the bottom line, these people relish their pain, they love their pain and wouldn’t know what to do without their pain! Come on…PTSD!!! This is nonsense! Joan might suffer from it but that’s probably due to her own inabilities over her life to come to terms with the reality of life…she was adopted…she had a crazy home life with adoptive parents…she and only she destroyed every relationship in her birth family because of her negative behaviors. If Joan suffers from PTSD it is NOT because she was adopted, its because she has always HAD to argue with everyone over the fact that she was ADOPTED! Get over it already.
 
oh brother, here we again. The poor little misunderstood adoptee. As if they are the only ones on the planet that had bad stuff happen to them. Want some cheese with that whine my dear?

“All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well..

Really? – What I UNDERSTAND is that when I was reunited with my adopted-out birth sister Joan Wheeler, after I opened my life and arms and heart to her is that is was clear that her morals and values were NOT like mine, or other members of my family. We were raised not to steal, not to lie, to treat people with kindness. Unlike Joan. I don’t know where she learned it from – but just a few years after our reunion she turned into a bitch.

She lied to me, manipulated me, stole from me, harassed me, set me up to phone her by sending me forged letters and greeting cards, (and when I phoned, she hung up on me, then told the police that it was ME who was placing annoyance phone calls), then she called my job to get me fired, tried to break me and my fiance up, wrote letters to his mother trashing me, wrote letters to elected officials, called child abuse on herself, implicating me, sent me a letter telling me my infertile husband got the next door neighbor pregnant, writes a book full of slander and libel. – Sooo what’s to understand?

So, let me get this straight – in Nancy Verrier’s book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, she says, “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions”

I don’t need to have doctorate as a “helping profession” (does she mean psyciatrists, psychologists, mental health counselors), to know that WRONGFUL THINGS were done to me by an out-of-control person who refuses to grow up.

As for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – many many people suffer from it. But that does not give ANYbody an excuse to break the law, harass other people, bully other people, or generally be a total idiot. My husband is a Vietnam Veteran who has PTSD and still somehow holds down a job, owns a house, takes care of the house and me, is a law-abiding person, does not bully or bother anyone. So don’t give that crap that Joan Wheeler’s behavioral problems needs to be “understood.” BULL! She’s a trouble-making liar, plain and simple as that.

so getting back to the queston on the forum: “If you are diagnosed mentally ill…. do you feel it is genetics, crazy upbringing by aparents or is it just the life on an adoptee? where do you think it comes from.” – – I don’t care where it comes from – all I know is that I have been used and abused by Joan Wheeler and I don’t give a damn about any so-called “trauma” Joan has endured – from anything – all I know is IT DOES NOT GIVE HER THE RIGHT TO TURN AROUND AND TRAUMATIZE ME.

I was NOT traumatized by HER adoption! so get that thought right out of your heads. I suffered from the loss of MY mother. Then my father’s disastrous second marriage. Yet, I managed to grow up into a law-abiding person, who is contributing member of society, a person who has held down the same job in the same facility for 39 years, who saw disinetgrating quality of life issues on my street (drug use, litter, rodents) and organized a block club and worked with local government officials to correct those problems. And for that – Joan ridicules me in her book. What asshole ridicules a person who is trying to better American society? Joan Wheeler – that’s who. Oh, I’m SORRY, poor little Joan was adopted, and despite the title of that book (adoptees grow up) – Joan Wheeler will NEVER grow up. – excuse me while I go puke.

you know what this all boils down to? – The failure of people to accept SELF-RESPONSIBILTY for their own actions!

It’s so much easier to place the blame on someone or something else when you fuck up.

“The devil made me do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.

“You made do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.

“My rotten childhood made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.

“My adoptive parents made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.

We are human and we will all make mistakes. The point is, when you make a mistake, own up to it. There is no devil, no other person, be they your parent (adopted or birth), other family member, boss, rude cashier at the store, co-worker, customer, neighbor, that can MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT TO DO!

I have said before on my blog – when Joan has written lies about me on the internet – it wasn’t me who forced my way into her house, hold her gunpoint, march her to the computer and “make” her type out lies about me – it was Joan herself, who made the concsious decision to write her lies. And she has gotten caught in some lies, some contradictions on the internet. We have copied and pasted her words, making notes of the dates and place where she said something, and then a few months later, we have seen her contradict herself on the internet. Again, I didn’t hold a gun to her to make her make a liar out of herself. She alone did that. As it was Joan’s conscious decision all these years to commit those harassments against me and others. She just doesn’t have the courage and backbone to stand up for herself and admit it. She’s a sniveling little coward and will just lay all the blame on me and her other sisters for the failure of our reunion. Or blame someone else.

There’s a cute little thing about blame – when you point a finger at someone, look at your hand, you will see your other fingers all pointing back at — YOU!

Stop with the whining, the blaming, the nonsense that “I was adopted, I can’t help myself” bullshit. ‘Cos that’s all it is – BULLSHIT!

And if you’re mentally ill, for god’s sake, take your damn medications so you won’t be a nuisance to other. Because we all have busy lives and we don’t have time for you losers. Maybe you didn’t ask to be mentally ill, and for that, I’m genuinely sorry, just like I feel bad for people with MS, cancer, cystic fibrosis. HOWEVER, my sympathy stops when you make MY life miserable and then turn around gleefully and say, “It’s not my fault – I got PTSD!” – ‘cos I don’t buy that excuse either.

Is Joan Wheeler helping or hurting the cause of Adoption Reform? November 3, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Is Joan Wheeler helping or hurting the cause of Adoption Reform? – in my opinion, she is HURTING her own cause!

On October 31, I posted this blogpost: Joan Wheeler lies about her siblings again, does not want us to speak up for our reputationsIt references a New York Times opinion piece and comments: The ‘Enabling Violation’ of International Adoption

so here’s the thing – and all you “adoption reformers” need to GET THIS –
whatever Gert’s or my’s feelings and thoughts about Joan’s continued bashing of us are – Joan is a DETRIMENT to your cause!

1. Joan comments on an article, but puts forth her erroneous version of how she got to be adopted.
2. Gert replys and says that Joan is in error.
3. Joan comments and starts whining  that her birth sisters are “negative” – also tries to blame us for the failed reunion between us and her.
4. Ruth tries to comment – in her comment, she refutes that statement, points out the negativity is coming from Joan. Also points out that Joan lied about the failure of the reunion – the reunion failed BECAUSE OF JOAN’S OWN BEHAVIOR – LIKE STEALING FROM US, LYING ABOUT US, PHONING IN CHILD ABUSE CALLS, ETC. Ruth also points out that Joan’s book was pulled from the publisher because of SLANDER AND LIBEL. AND THE LYING ABOUT HER OWNING A COPYRIGHT ON RUTH’S AND GERT’S CHILDHOOD PICTURE.
5. the moderators of the opinions see what a mess got started. – The moderators, who represent the New York Times, do not want to get involved with a situation that involves slander, libel, copyright infringement.
6.The moderators pull the plug on any more comments – meaning NO MORE COMMENTS FROM ANY PERSON WHO IS TRYING TO REFORM ADOPTION.

ADOPTION REFORMERS – GET WITH THE PROGRAM!
You need to tell Joan Wheeler to SHUT UP ABOUT HER BIRTH SISTERS AND STOP LYING ABOUT THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF HER ADOPTION!

We have said it before on this blog and on Gert’s blog – WE DON’T CARE ABOUT THE ADOPTION ISSUE – ALL WE CARE ABOUT IS JOAN WHEELER’S BEHAVIOR AND STATEMENTS ABOUT US AND OUR FAMILY!
When Joan Wheeler spouts lies and/or misrepresentations about us and our family – WE WILL SPEAK UP AND CORRECT THOSE STATEMENTS!

I have put forth on this blog a list of demands that I want met by Joan Wheeler –
please pay attention to this item in the list titled “2. Joan WILL comply with the following:”

4.The cessation of posting any more about her sisters ANYwhere on the internet, except when discussing her adoption and she is to limit her discussion of her sisters to say that she has 3 older birth sisters, one who first made the contact with her, and due to personality conflicts, any reunion between Joan and her 3 birth sisters has been terminated.

Anytime Joan opens her mouth about us in person or on the internet, we will answer. And if this means YOUR anti-adoption messages don’t get out because we cause a site to shut down comments – then you people need to go to the source – JOAN WHEELER and shut her up. – because we Sippel Sisters are not going to shut up. We retain the human right to defend ourselves whenever ANYbody tells a lie about us or talks trash about us. And our human and civil rights are NOT negotiable.

Joan Wheeler lies about her siblings again, does not want us to speak up for our reputations. October 31, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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so the other day, Joan leaves another distorted “truth” about MY family on a New York Times online article. Gert corrected her distortion. JOAN- WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP PUTTING FORTH THAT TWISTED LYING RENDITION OF HOW YOU GOT TO BE ADOPTED? -enough already!

So Gert left a comment, CORRECTING Joan. Gert spoke the TRUTH about how our father came to the decision to relinquish Joan for adoption. But the TRUTHFUL way he came about his decision does not jive with Joan’s version. So Joan wrote another comment and trashed us again and lied about us again. Gert and I both left comments. I think mine got cut off – I think it was too long. But anyway – here is the link to the comments: http://community.nytimes.com/comments/opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/10/23/the-dilemmas-of-international-adoption/?sort=newest

So here is Joan’s newest comment:

Contacting and reuniting with natural family should be done with proper thought, careful planning, and consideration for the person and family being found. If my natural father had been given opportunity to be the one to make first contact, he would have handled it differently by contacting my adoptive parents first. Since I was still in high school at the time, I was unprepared for how the reunion unfolded. When my two fathers were together face to face, there were handshakes and tears. My natural father extended his hand to my adoptive mother as well. As the reunion went on, my two sets of parents met often with me and developed positive relationships, eventually welcoming grandchildren, having parties, and visiting each other even into old age. I was in the middle and tried the best I could to make sure both sets of parents knew I cared about them by acknowledging that I had “Two sets of real parents”. I wanted peace between the two families and they agreed. It was the fighting that my three older sisters created that caused the breakdown of our reunion. Keep in mind: I had relationships with other relatives besides them, and still do.

I am not exploiting anyone by telling my story. My older siblings never wanted me to speak out and write about my adoption. They complained all these years (since 1976) whenever I wrote articles in the paper about adoptees’ rights. I am an adoption reformer, whether it be domestic or intercountry adoptions.

I firmly believe that adoptees have the right to know their natural parents and other blood kin, despite the negativity of my sisters. They do not know that “no” means “no”. I want nothing to do with these people, yet they continue to interfere with my life. Not all reunions end up this way, but this negativity points to the evidence that adoption destroys families forever.

and here is my comment in it’s entirety:

HalfOrphan 56, aka Joan Wheeler is definetly a poster child for the delusions of anti-adoption.
Ms. Wheeler says, (about her birth siblings): “(they) never wanted me to speak out and write about my adoption.”
This is a complete fabrication. In 1980, I accompanied Ms. Wheeler to WGRZ-TV studios in Buffalo NY for an interview on adoption reunion and supported Joan in her desire to write a book on her adoption, her reunion, and her viewpoints.
Ms. Wheeler spent the next 30 years, writing a book that contained complete falsehoods in it.
We were reunited with her in 1974, by 1981, Ms. Wheeler became an interference in our lives. She disrupted many lives with her harassments.
Yet, until the year 1990, I continued to try to reach out to her, to be a sister to her, until she stole several hundreds of dollars from me. After I broke off ties to her, she began a campaign of hate and harassments against me, including calling my place of employment almost daily for 6 months, trying to get me fired.
When her book was published in November 2009, I was appalled at the lies in it. One, that I have a criminal record and arrest record, both are falsehoods. In December of 2010, my sister Gert McQueen and I, submitted complaints to the publisher of Ms. Wheeler’s book, Trafford Publications, After several months of investigation, on May 6, 2011, Trafford pulled the book from publication on the grounds that Ms. Wheeler violated her contract with Trafford that her book contained no slander, libel, or that she owned sole copyrights to all content of the book. She had submitted a photograph, published on the back cover of the book,of my family, taken in 1955. Ms. Wheeler was not born until 1956, and, being adopted out in 1957, no longer a legal member of my family. How does this person own a copyright to a photograph of me, taken when I was 3 years old? – And Trafford Publications agreed.

I am not going to get into any discussion of the morality/immorality of adoption. That is for people who have that passion to do. I merely want to set the record straight.

Joan Wheeler – Half Orphan – has been proven to be a liar, a trouble-maker, (one example is writing to me in 1999 that my infertile husband got the next-door neighbor pregnant), a person who misrepresents and lies about  her birth family, and herself. She claims to be a disabled social-worker, yet never worked a day as a social worker. She claims to have been a suicide prevention counselor, yet only worked as a volunteer manning telephones. She herself has threatened suicide as a ploy for attention for years, to my face at least twice, and once in 2010, on an onliine discussion forum.

 Ms. Wheeler says “Not all reunions end up this way, but this negativity points to the evidence that adoption destroys families forever.” – NO, it was not her adoption that destroyed our family – it was her own behavior that destroyed our reunion.
Would you keep a person around you that steals from you, lies about you, tries to get you fired from your job, writes letters to you that your husband got another woman pregnant? NO?, Well, neither do I. 

And here  is Gert’s comment:

When she was 18, her four siblings wanted to make contact. I spoke with a lawyer and an adoption agency and was told that yes indeed siblings COULD legally make contact with an adoptee once they were 18. She was ‘looking’ for her birth family, but she has choosen to focus only on the fact that it was her siblings, namely me because I was the eldest, who made the initial contact.
 
I do not for a second buy this adoptee’s reasonings, about anything, for I have known how she thinks or doesn’t think at and about any given circumstance. This person continues to place blame for her inabilities of everything onto everyone else. I shall not take the blame for her, at age 18, for NOT being prepared for LIFE, that was the adopted parents responsiblity, not mine. I will take responsibility NOW for the fact that it was the WORST MISTAKE of my life for ever wanting to know this sibling that was placed out of our family. Blood doesn’t make a sibling, this sibling was not raised like we were and therefore she can not comprehend HOW we think, and that is why she exploits us, to make us into what she thinks we are or should have been. Read all about just how this adoptee was the victim by her siblings, please do come and take a look.
ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com   gertmcqueen.wordpress.com
 
When you lie about things, to promote a cause, that is called exploitation! I did not give you permission to speak or write about my life. If ‘NO’ means no then why has this person, not only continued to interfer with our lives, for years, but then wrote a libelous book about us and everyone else’s lives? We have NOT been in her life. Today we are only refuting and setting the record straight from all the lies this person has told and continues to tell about us and family. She can write all she wants for adoptee rights, I never said she couldn’t! She can write about HER adoption. She CAN NOT write about MY LIFE. What I object to is her lying about my life and my family’s lives.

comments to this blog post:

1. Ruth – October 31, 20

oh by the way – Joan says she was still in high school when we contacted her – so? She was 18. legal age.
and she had made the conscious decision at the age 16 – two years prior – to search for her birth family – so this nonsense that she was not prepared is pure bullshit!

2. RuthOctober 31, 2011

and then I left this other comment on the site:
No one is interfering with Half-Orphan’s life as she claims in her latest comment (#163) –
fact – at the age of 16, she made the conscious decision to search for her birth family.
fact – she was aged 18 – legal age, when she was found by her birth family. she may have been in high school, but she was prepared for the reunion – she wanted it since she was 16.
fact – in 1974 we reunited with her, but by 1981, she began exhibitng harassing behavior towards us, her birth sisters.
fact – her book WAS an exploitation of US – by telling private details of our lives, which had nothing to do with her adoption, or reunion, or activism.
fact – her book was pulled from publication due to slander and libel
fact – it is half-orphan who is the one who continuously misrepresents and lies about us, her birth family.
fact – we do not care about her views on adoption – we only speak up when she lies about us and our family. she can say anything she wants about adoption – but not about us or our family.
fact – it was not her adoption or a failed reunion that destroyed our family – our family was never destroyed – and yes, our reunion failed, becasue of half-orphan’s own harassing and hate-filled behavior.
Whether adopted or not, reunited or not,, birth sister or not, I will not have a person who has done many detrimental things to me around me.

3. RuthOctober 31, 2011

in the meantime, I see on my stats pages, that the moderators of the comments to this article came to view this blog and Gert’s blog.
As of yet, they have not approved our answers to Joan.

If they do not approve our comments, I will demand that both of Joan’s comments be removed on the grounds that they are libelous to me and my family.

If the New York Times does not want to get involved in a family squabble, that’s fine by me – and if they want to censor me, they dam well better censor Joan!

4. RuthOctober 31, 2011

New York Times opinion moderator, despite having checked out our blogs several hours ago, has still not posted my comments. So I sent this message to him/her:
dear moderator,
if you are not going to post my comments, as is your right, then please remove Half-Orphan’s posts, as they are complete falsehoods.
No one is interfering with her life.
Half-Orphan is well known in the adoption reform community as Joan Wheeler – so her words are being read and her slanders about her birth family is being read and understood.
She has a two web sites where she slanders us.
I can understand you not wanting to get in a family squabble, fine, then be fair – don’t give credence to a bully, but not let the bully’s vicitm have their say.
I flagged Half-Orphan’s lastes post as inappropriate because it contains slander. Her book WAS pulled by Trafford Publicatiion due to its slanderous content. contact Eugene Hopkins at Author Solutiions if you do not believe me.
thank you for listening.

Joan Wheeler needs to stop judging my life October 13, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Uncategorized.
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In her stupid book, Joan makes a lot of judgment calls – she puts down people in trailer parks, (trailer trash she says). She puts down people living in Buffalo’s inner city (never mind she herself once lived in the inner city), she puts down my sister Gert because of her religion, she put me down because I like horror movies and I’m a neighborhood activist who stands up to drug dealers and organized a block club.

SEE END OF POST FOR UPDATE INFO 

She published an obscene note that she received in the mail – there were two different handwritings on the note – and she said that the note was written by me and my best friend – neither sample of handwriting on the note is mine or my friend’s. Joan then says the language on the note is the same inner city style language that me and my friend use. And that language reflected the lifestyle we had chosen.

Okay, I admit it, I so swear. So what? So do a lot of people! — ha ha ha! So does Joan! On the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum, she calls us, her birth sisters fuckheads.

So what’s up with the inner city trash moniker? Let’s examine the White Trash at work.

In August 1990, I accompanied Joan to the mall. I was at her house – in the inner city and we were going to take her then 4 year old daughter with us. It was just after 6:00 pm – a beautiful sunny summer late afternoon. Joan’s husband had just gotten home from work about 20 minutes earlier and was sitting in the living room watching the evening news. Joan and I were outside. I was standing on the sidewalk in front of her house, and Joan was backing the car out the driveway. When she got the car down to the sidewalk, she got out of the car, and Joan’s daughter, who had been standing on the porch steps started walking across the lawn to her mother and stepped in dog poop. Joan let out some nice colorful metaphors! “Son of a bitch! COLBY!” Joan grabbed her daughter’s arm and marched her back up the porch steps. “COLBY GET OFF YOUR FUCKING ASS AND BE A FATHER TO YOUR KIDS!” By this point, she had opened the front door and shoved her daughter in the door. She then stood on the front door and continued her tirade-  yelling and screaming obscenities!   Meanwhile, I stood on the sidewalk, mortified. I looked around and saw the neighbors stop what they were doing to watch. I wanted the earth to swallow me up. Because Joan and I look a lot alike, I was sick. I didn’t want these people to know I was related to this raving lunatic.

So Joan – look at the quote from Bob Marley – yes, I, Ruth, do swear and use cuss words, but so do you.

And by the way, MY lifestyle includes a 39 year career with the same employer – Joan can’t hold down a job at all. MY lifestyle includes a very happy and stable marriage. MY lifestyle includes many good friends, a wide and varied number of interests and hobbies. Unlike Joan, who actually chronicled her wasted life in her stupid book.

You really should have made sure your own hands were clean Joan before you started judging my life and plastering MY life in the pages of your stupid book. And may I ask one more time? – what does MY life have to do with YOUR adoption? What does the fact that I am a neighborhood activitst have to do with her adoption and adoption reform? What does the fact I live in the inner city have to do with her adoption and adoption reform? What does the fact that I like horror movies have to do with her adoption and adoption reform? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! So what is it doing in her book? Yeah, tell us again how your book is about you and adoption reform. That trash book was about US and all the other people in your miserable life that you wanted to get back at. Tell the dam truth for once in your life.

UPDATE, FEBRUARY 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

Harassing letter from Joan Wheeler to Ruth Sippel Pace May 1998 October 12, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Hey guys! You know how Joan Wheeler is always saying how she NEVER harasses her birth sisters, but it’s her birth sisters who are ALWAYS harassing her? She says in her stupid book she’s never bothered me or anybody else. She says all over the internet, and on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Chance that because she’s never bothered us, she can’t understand why we keep bothering her.

Well, yesterday, Gert and I wrote a couple of blog posts over at Gert’s blog. My post (which is actually a companion piece to Gert’s – is called “Harassing letter from Joan Wheeler to Ruth Sippel Pace in May 1998. You really need to see it – so you can see the REAL Joan Wheeler.

Adoptees: you’re always clamoring for the TRUTH – well, here ya go! Do you dare to put your money where your mouths are? Are you TRULY advocating for CHANGE?  Ya wanna see how one of your own is playing you guys for fools? Will you accept my challenge? Or simply pull the blankets over your heads in denial? – I don’t know about you guys – but if someone is playing me for a fool – I’d wanna know – so I could put a stop to it – because I won’t be played for a fool. But I guess you guys ENJOY being someone’s fool.

Harassing letter from Joan Wheeler to Ruth Sippel Pace in May 1998

UPDATE SEPT 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor!

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2016/05/12/joan-mary-wheeler-has-legally-changed-her-name-to-doris-michol-sippel/

Suffer the wrath of the wronged birth sister who had nothing to do with Joan Wheeler’s adoption (via Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family –) August 15, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Uncategorized.
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until my thumb/wrist tendon is fully healed and can do more extensive typing (my one hand typing has gotten pretty good, but not good enough) – I will reblog a couple of recent posts – here’s a good one!

 by Ruth Pace There’s a thread on the adoptee forum entitled Suffer the Wrath of the Adoptee. I’ll read it when I get a chance, but for now, I want to give my opinion on just the title of this thread.  These adoptees like to label themselves ANGRY ADOPTEES. They are angry because for whatever circumstances went on in their lives, they were adopted. I can’t comment on their stories, because I don’t know them, I don’t know what happened. Frankly, i … Read More

via Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family —

Of Lies and Deceipt, Honor and Integrity – A Comparison Study of Joan Wheeler and The Three Sippel Sisters June 28, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Due to my extremely busy life lately, and the threat of a labor strike looming over my head, (which fortunately was averted this morning) I have not had the time to post this week. But I wanted to share an observation I had made during an email conversation I just had.

SEE END OF POST FOR AN UPDATE 

Readers of our blog and readers of Joan’s statements are comparing notes. As well they should. Back in early to mid 2010, I left a couple of messages on the adoptee discussion forum that Joan belongs to. I told them to copy, paste, date and save what Joan writes about The Three Sippel Sisters and the rest of her birth family. Because Joan contradicts herself left and right. And while she says she doens’t “cyber-bully” us, she has a whole hate-filled blog via blogspot that not only is full of hate and lies about us, but gives out our names and in my case, my employer. And she has the nerve to title this crap page “cyber bullying!” That is a contradiction in itself!  On the page, she is ranting about THIS blog –  “Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family” and saying that she is a victim because of what we write here. What nonsense. The purpose of this blog is regain OUR sullied reputations because of what Joan wrote in her book. The lies that were so blatant and so against the facts that they fell under the legal terms of slander and libel, and because they were so defined, her book got pulled from publication.

So who is the victim? The person who found out a lie was told about them, exposed both the lie and the liar, or the person who told the lie in the first place and had that lie publicized via this blog? In a previous post of mine, Who Harasses Whom? I address this question. And when Joan made up that hate-filled “cyber-bullying” blog, she made it clear to the whole world what a hateful, lying harassing bully she is.

We Three Sippel Sisters (a term coined by Joan herself as if we were all one entity) have never bothered her when she persues her sole purpose in life – adoption reform. We may have noted that she has a very shallow life if she has only ONE thing in her life, because we have questions about her mental health – our father even said she was mentally ill. – And she herself chronicles her “hypersensitivity”, her “sensing” people talking about herself in a large wedding reception, her rants and rages, her burning of journals, diaries, other papers in the middle of her living room, her alcholism, her being in a state of depression (not washing her hair, not fixing dinner for her children, just sitting around all day), her YEARS of therapy (and not getting anywhere), her going from one abusive relationship to another. YES, this is all in her book.  I don’t know if her state of mind was caused by her adoption or not – I don’t care. All I know is that I have suffered at the hands of Joan – harassments over a 30 year time frame. Money stolen from me, lies told about me, stalking, having my personal life details being sent in letters to elected officials, lies told to my employer about me, phone calls made to my employer by Joan telling them to terminate my employment. This is anti-social behavior and I have said it before on this blog and I’ll say it again – I don’t give a DAMN about Joan having been adopted and she has problems – why should I have to suffer through HER anti-social behaviors?

And my other sisters have suffered as well as other people, family members, and non-family members. The final straw was that book, which attacked everyone in one fell swoop. And Joan discovered the internet and beginning in September of 2008, began using it as a new tool to continue her harassments of The Three Sippel Sisters. Both Gert and I had been on the internet for quite some time prior to September 2008. The third sister, Kathy, only began to be on the internet in late 2009. Gert had absolutely NO involvement via the internet with Joan. I had a brief involvement from September 2003 to March 2004 with Joan when I had begun building a website designed to post and share family photographs. Everything was going fairly smooth, until January 2004, when I, as the site’s owner, moved one of the photos that Joan had posted from one file to another. Joan got all upset and fired off a ridiculous ranting email to me. One that I didn’t see until April – because I was sick in January, and her email got buried. We had a brief email exchange, then I booted her off the website and that was the end of any internet connection I had with her (and in real life). See the post an email exchange of March 31, 2004.

All of a sudden, in September 2008, out of the clear blue sky, Joan gets on the blog that she had at the time, and ATTACKED us! This was one  she first coined the term The Three Sippel Sisters and she attacked our religion, and “warned” us to stay away from her. WHERE were we by her? In real life or cyber-life? NOWHERE! I am not sure if Gert saw this crap at the time, but I did – and yeah, I googled MY name, and JOAN’S name. Because I know from experience that Joan cannot be trusted. And I was right – there it was – six months after she put crap about me on the internet – I found it! Talk about cyber bullying! But as I said above – Joan contradicts herself left and right.

When I saw this ridiculous post, I made a note of it, but DID NOT ANSWER IT NOR DID I ADDRESS IT ANYWHERE ON THE INTERNET – until I constructed this blog in November 2009. Also, Joan likes to say that we sisters post on various internet forums and call her an asshole and urge her to commit suicide. I hereby challenge Joan: please copy and paste the url address of  post on the internet where I, or my sisters have done this. I guarantee Joan will not be able to come up with ONE url address where we said this, for we have not. And if there is a post out there – I want to know about it, so that I can contact the webhost that I was impersonated. And if there are any impersonations of me on the internet – I know who did it – Joan herself – because she did it in the past! Not on the internet – but in real life. She called in a false child abuse report on herself, posing as me. That’s right – the caller identified themself as me. Then went on to say that it was MY fiance who was abusing Joan’s children! First, if I’m going to make a prank child abuse call, I’m not going to tell them my real name. Second, why would I name the man I’m engaged to and risk him going to jail? DUH! Joan did this to break me and John up. In fact, one week after the call was made, she wrote him a letter and sent it to his mother’s house – and in it she’s telling him to leave me! This was December 1993. Then in February 1999,  she was trying to break us up again – she sends me a letter saying that he got the next door neighbor pregnant. And the house was vacant. DUH!

So … who can be trusted? Certainly not Joan, because she has consistently shown how she is a bold-faced liar, a bully both in real life and cyber-life. We Three Sippel Sisters are not really interested in the issue of adoption reform and we don’t care what Joan says or does regarding that issue. With The Three Sippel Sisters consistently NOT commenting on the generalities of adoption, NOT commenting when Joan makes a statement purely about adoption and commenting ONLY when she brings up the birth family and says a lie or misrepresentation, we have shown that WE can be trusted. The only time we comment is to give out the NEEDED information that the book has been pulled, or when someone praises Joan (as in the case of the woman who thinks Joan should have political clout), we comment on Joan’s character.

We also never really attacked the adult adoptees that Joan has befriended, except to comment on their anger and hatred – and their blind willingness to be led around by their noses by Joan. And ususally it was because they had come on over to our blog and left hate messages.

I think in the year and a half that we’ve been working on this project we have shown that The Three Sippel Sisters have honor and integrity. Can Joan say the same? She has been caught not only in the Big Lie — The Book – but consistently lies on the adoptee forum and various places on the internet.

Lies – they’ll get you everytime.

Gert adds this:  

and…(in regards to us sisters posting on the internet regarding this situation) where I have been placing notices that the book has been pulled or my statement about what Joan did to me, as an adoptive mother, etc…on book sites, discussion threads and adoption sites where Joan FIRST spoke untruths…are the RIGHT action to bring back our personal and family honor… 
We are our deeds and Joan is now reaping the fruits of her actions!

UPDATE, APRIL 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

 

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