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Atttention Lori Corangelo; Amfor (Americans for Open Records) re: Joan Wheeler, Forbidden Family December 11, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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LORI CORANGELO AND OTHERS: I think you’d better read this: from the pdf. file of Trafford’s Publishing’s “Terms and Conditions.” These are the Terms and Conditions that Joan Wheeler agreed to when she signed (under false pretenses) her contract with Trafford and the ones that she VIOLATED – she had hate speech in her book, obscene language, had me saying things that I didn’t, labeled me as a computer hacker with a criminal record and used MY photograph. 


2.1. You represent that you are the sole copyright owner of the Work and all of its content.

 2.2. You represent that the Work does not infringe upon any statutory or common law right of copyright, libel or privacy of any third party.

  2.4. You further represent that the Work does not contain illegal, unlawful or objectionable material including, but not limited to, pornography, obscenity or hate speech. You acknowledge that the Work is not plagiarized and does not include falsely attributed statements of third parties.

 3.(Trafford’s Legal Responsibility
3.2. We reserve the right to refuse to provide and/or to discontinue ALL Services upon our discovery of any violation by you of these Terms and Conditions, any other actions, omissions or misconduct by you with respect to Work, and/or your performance under these Terms and Conditions. In the event a complaint is made by a third party regarding the Work, we reserve the right to suspend the Services in accordance with Section 7.1 until such time as the complaint is satisfactorily resolved, as determined by us in our sole discretion.

Now Lori go and read these two posts and read them word for word so you can UNDERSTAND what Joan Wheeler did –

Joan Wheeler FINALLY announces the demise of her book Forbidden Family, but still shows evidence of her silly delusions

My complaint to Trafford Publications concerning the slander and libel contained in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler

 Tell us again Lori of how Joan made a “mistake” – you are full of shit, and so is Joan.

You want open records Lori? That equates to the TRUTH, does it not Lori? We are open and TRUTHFUL here on our blogs. Can you handle the TRUTH Lori?


Joan Wheeler FINALLY announces the demise of her book Forbidden Family, but still shows evidence of her silly delusions December 8, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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I revised the front page of this blog on December 5 + 6, 2011. In that post,  I described what Joan has on her tab “About and Buy.” on her website. On December 8, 2011, Joan renamed that tab to say only “About” and wrote the following:

“Forbidden Family has been taken off the market by Trafford Publishing as of May 2011.
It was a short run, but well worth it.
I believe in my book and future success.
The book is not dead, only sleeping while another opportunity is sought.”

First off, she doesn’t say WHY Trafford  took her book off the market. Why not Joan? Got something to hide? Like the very TRUE reason it was taken off the market – for slander and libel and using a photograph that you didn’t have the copyright of.

If someone is going to make a statement like this bullshit – and she says she believes in her book, she would tell her blog readers WHY the book is not on the market. But like the master manipulator Joan is, she will tell only PART of the story. She won’t tell the TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. Just little bits and pieces of sound bites.

She can say her book is only sleeping, and it’s not dead,but she’s only fooling herself and her blog readers. As to using the phrase her book is not dead – we see evidence that  Joan is reading our blog, because it was here that we say the book is dead. And we see more evidence of her delusions. It only took her seven months to admit that the book has pulled from publication. The book IS dead. She claims that the short run of her book was “well worth it?” Worth having the entire world know what Joan’s true lying nature is and exposed? Joan may  “believe” in her book – that is because Joan “believes” her delusions. She DID write in her book that in 1993 she was granted a one year order of protection against me. I have submitted on this blog the actual court document that says it was for six months. Joan says in her book that I was arrested, and placed on probation in 1993. I have submitted actual court documents on this blog that show that is a falsehood, slander and libel.

Joan continues to insist that she changed names in her book to protect identities. No, she changed only SOME names and kept her own name Joan Wheeler in the book. She put on the back of the book, a family photograph that clearly shows my father’s face. AND she names him by his correct name of SIPPEL. My father worked in City Hall and was well known. In his second wife’s funeral guest book, and his mother’s funeral guest book are the signatures of two prominent local politicians. My father’s colleagues and many other people knew that he had given up one daughter for adoption. This was no secret in the 1950’s and 1960’s. Further, Joan wrote an article called “The Secret is Out,” that was published in England and Holland in the early 1990’s. In this article, she gave out the correct names of ME and one of my sisters. In her book Forbidden Family, she  referenced  this article and where it was published, and named the publication. It is available, so any person with any reasonable amount of intelligence could read her book, find her original article and find MY real name, which is sullied in Joan’s book as a criminal, a computer hacker with my employer, and other disgusting detrimental claims to my good name and character.

Joan says that we sisters identified ourselves first on our blog – no we did not. I started my blog late November 2009. Her book had already come out in the beginning of November 2009. The book Forbidden Family was already offered for sale by Trafford Publishing BEFORE I started my blog. And in September 2008, on a now-defunct Blogger blog, Joan identified her birth sisters. A full year before the book was published and my blog was started. 

I started this blog as the direct result of two internet sites that Joan publicized her “new” book – the first one was actually an interview/article by ABC.com titles “Adoptees face Sting of Discrimination.” In that article, Joan was interviewed and she put forth many falsehoods, both in the body of the interview/article and in 5 or 6 additional comments. I submitted comments refuting her statements, but they were not accepted.  On another website, called “The Daily Bastardette”, was a piece promoting Joan’s book. In that article, there was a falsehood, put forth by Joan, and published by the website’s owner Marley Greiner. I submitted a comment, refuting what Joan told Ms. Greiner. Ms. Greiner did not publish my comment.  I was frustrated, because Joan was able, via these two sources, and her own new wordpress website called Forbidden Family to get out her lies and misrepresentations of my family, but I could not get out the truth. So I began this blog. I had known that Joan had a blog on google’s blogspot for some time, but never paid much attention to it. I did see the warning that she put out in September 2008 to the Wheeler clan, the Herr clan and The Three Sippel Sisters to “leave her alone,” although nobody was bothering her. I made screen shots of that warning, but did nothing else. I ignored the little child.

Apparently, sometime in the summer of 2009, when her book was going to press, she built her wordpress blog and titled it Forbidden Family and began to promote her new book. She transferred all her files from the blogger blog to the new wordpress blog.  In October 2009, on Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of  Atonement, Joan wrote a blog post about Yom Kippur, but got some things wrong. As it turns out, my sister Kathy, converted to Judaism several years ago. She wrote a comment on Joan’s blog, a very nice comment, but it corrected Joan in the points she got wrong. Joan graciously accepted the comment for publication, and even left a nice note, something along the lines “I knew someday we would re-connect.” The two comments stayed on her blog for a few days, when all of a sudden, with no action taken from either me, or Kathy, Joan turned 180 degrees (this is very typical of her) and accused Kathy and me of spying on her, and getting her blogger blog shut down.  ???? What? — and then she dragged Gert into it.

Gert had not been on the internet AT ALL! She had a computer at home, for personal work, did not have internet access, didn’t go to public computers for such. Kathy was brand new to the internet.  With a brandnew computer, wasn’t internet savvy enough NOT to leave her private email containing her name, on the comment she put on Joan’s blog. Joan then emailed her and bitched her out! For nothing! Kathy was upset, and rightfully so. She complained to WordPress, she said that 1. she only corrected some points about the Jewish religion that Joan had gotten wrong, and 2. why was the webhost (Joan) emailing her and threatening her. WordPress went in and took down the post about Yom Kippur, and all comments as well. Joan became enraged! She left a nasty post saying she was not going to be censored. She went out and BOUGHT a website from StartLogic and began building a new Forbidden Family website, and transferred all her files from her wordpress blog over there. And then closed down her blogger blog and wordpress blog – but then said that it was The Three Sippel Sisters who closed her down. Which is a big fat lie. She closed those blogs down HERSELF.

That happened in September, October and the beginning of November 2009. I was not involved AT ALL with the Yom Kippur postings, nor was Gert. But I was sympathetic with Kathy. And I began this blog, the third week of November. I originally titled it, “Refuting Joan Wheeler’s statements about her Forbidden Family.” I ordered the book from Amazon.com the first week of December 2010, and received it a few days later. I opened the book and just glanced at it and saw many lies. I was disgusted. Since this blog had already been started, I went in and changed the title to Refuting the Book Forbidden Family. Her book came out BEFORE I started this blog.  So Joan had done the damage BEFORE my blog was in existence.

Joan also keeps insisting that she had the right to publish MY family photograph on the back of her book. NO, she does not, did not have that right. Joan says on her website that she spoke to a literary attorney. If she did, she misled them, just as she misled Trafford Publishing. Joan signed a contract with Trafford Publishing in 2009, but in 2011, when they saw the actual court documents, and what I outlined in the above paragraph, THEIR attorneys agreed that Joan VIOLATED their rules of conduct of authors. 

The photograph in question is of my parents, me, and my 3 siblings. It was taken in 1955. Joan was not born until January 1956. She was not in the photograph. This photograph was widely distributed among relatives in the 1950’s and 1960’s. I don’t care where or when Joan was given a PAPER COPY of this photograph. Joan says that in the photograph, our mother was pregnant with her. We have no proof of that. She looks fat. But that’s not the point. Joan was NOT A LEGAL ENTITY UNTIL SHE WAS BORN ON JANUARY 7, 1956. IN THE WINTERTIME! The photo was taken in the summer or early fall 1955. Joan did not legally exist when the photograph was taken, therefore, she does NOT OWN THE SOLE COPYRIGHTS TO THAT PHOTOGRAPH.

One of the articles in the contract that Joan signed with Trafford Publishing was that “the author is the SOLE COPYRIGHT OWNER OF THE WORK AND ALL ITS CONTENTS.” In order to publish that photograph, Joan needed the permission of those pictured in the photograph. She claims on her website that “no permissions were needed to use this photo.” – WRONG! Because this photo was being put on a work that was to be used for MONETARY INCOME, Joan did indeed NEED TO GET PERMISSION FROM ALL LIVING PERSONS IN THE PHOTOGRAPH. She “claims” she had our father’s permission. I want to see his signature, and it had better have been notarized, because if it wasn’t -it doesn’t prove a thing – because Joan has been known to forge things.   

I am in that photo, as well as my sisters, and Joan DID NOT GET OUR PERMISSION IN WRITING OR ORALLY to publish OUR likeness on a vehicle for her to make money. Joan in the past has tried to skip around the issue by saying the faces were blurry and obscured by text. WRONG! The faces are not that blurry, and text does obscure faces of my mother, my brother, and my two sisters. BUT MY FATHER’S FACE AND MY FACE ARE CLEARLY VISIBLE. Since my likeness has been placed on a body of work that garnered income for Joan Wheeler, WITHOUT MY PERMISSION – I hereby demand my share of all monetary sums from all sales of the book Forbidden Family in the years 2009, 2010, 2011. 

Many people in  the Buffalo area know my father, they know his last name, they know my mother’s maiden name, which is given out in the book. That photograph is well known by many people. We have a large family, and everybody knows who Joan Wheeler is. Joan had her picture published in The Buffalo News,with her full name given out – and she spoke about adoption. The following week, my father was interviewed by The Buffalo News and spoke about her adoption. In the interview HIS FULL REAL NAME, ALONG WITH HIS PHOTOGRAPH was published.

 Because of her many years of writing articles for The Buffalo News and other places, Joan’s name and circumstances of her adoption have been well publicized. On the internet, BEFORE the book was published, Joan herself was using a name that DID NOT LEGALLY BELONG TO HER! She wrote many opinion pieces throughout the internet on adoption, using the signature “Joan Wheeler, born Doris Sippel.” – Therefore, she gave out MY legal maiden name BEFORE the book was published.

In 1980, both Joan and I appeared on a locally produced human interest news story about adotion reunion. We were interviewed by reporter Rich Kellman and the half-hour show was televised on WGRZ-TV of Buffalo, New York. In this interview, we both gave our names, she as Joan Wheeler, and me as Ruth Sippel. Our faces were not concealed.  Neither Joan, nor I, were paid any moneys for this televised appearance.

Many people know me, and know that I have an adopted-out younger sister that I was reunited with, and they know her name as Joan Wheeler.  Many people  have known that for the last 30 years Joan wheeler has been writing this book. Therefore, when that book came out, and Joan started publicizing it on the internet, and it was available for sale, someone sees it, sees the author “Joan Wheeler,” sees the photograph, and knows that photograph – they can know EXACTLY who Joan is writing about. Whether she changed ALL the names or only SOME of the names.

Also, Trafford Publishing puts out a guideline for authors. One of the guidelines says, “even if you change names, if someone can recognize themselves in your book, you can be sued for slander and libel.” 

In a recent correspondence with Gert McQueen, Americans for Open Records Lori Corangelo says in defense of Joan: “first time wrtiers make mistakes.” oh – well! First time drunk drivers who kill people make mistakes too. riiight.

Excuse me Lori, these are NOT “mistakes” that Joan did. She was given a specific contract with Trafford. She signed that contract KNOWING FULL WELL SHE WAS MISLEADING THEM. And when their attorneys learned the TRUTH of the matter – they pulled that filthy book from publication. It IS DEAD.

It has been listed as available on amazon.com. But – it is a “print on demand” situation. Once the original print run was exhausted, any new orders via amazon would be printed and sent to the buyer. BUT just two months ago, in a conversation with Trafford PUblishers, it was revealed that Trafford has pulled the book from even that status. They know that book is LEGAL TROUBLE for them and want nothing more to do with it. Amazon is a mostly automated site. It is going to list 3 copies as a come-on – a “bait and switch.” There is more to this story and will be posted next week. We have just been busy. We have several blog posts waiting to get up.

People need to learn once and for all that Joan Wheeler is a con-artist. She is a consumate liar. She could sweet talk and charm even Adolf Hitler! She will only tell a literary attorney and/or agent what they need to know to approve her work. She did it to Trafford. And as soon as they found out that she conned them – they pulled the plug on her. Lori, are you stupid or what?

Joan – remember – you can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time. And your days of fooling people are over! You can keep on insisting your book is the “truth” and keep on ignoring actual Buffalo City Court Documents and YOUR OWN HANDWRITTEN LETTERS TO ME AND OTHERS that prove otherwise.

For Joan to LIE about past police and court documents, even her own handwritten letters shows just how mentally disturbed and brain dead Joan Wheeler really is. I am begging someone reading this blog, to please, please, get Joan to a place where she clearly needs to be – The Buffalo Psychiatric Center.

LORI CORANGELO AND OTHERS: I think you’d better read this: from the pdf. file of Trafford’s Publishing’s “Terms and Conditions.” These are the Terms and Conditions that Joan Wheeler agreed to when she signed (under false pretenses) her contract with Trafford and the ones that she VIOLATED – she had hate speech in her book, obscene language, had me saying things that I didn’t, labeled me as a computer hacker with a criminal record and used MY photograph. 


2.1. You represent that you are the sole copyright owner of the Work and all of its content.

2.2. You represent that the Work does not infringe upon any statutory or common law right of copyright, libel or privacy of any third party.

2.4. You further represent that the Work does not contain illegal, unlawful or objectionable material including, but not limited to, pornography, obscenity or hate speech. You acknowledge that the Work is not plagiarized and does not include falsely attributed statements of third parties.

3.(Trafford’s Legal Responsibility
3.2. We reserve the right to refuse to provide and/or to discontinue ALL Services upon our discovery of any violation by you of these Terms and Conditions, any other actions, omissions or misconduct by you with respect to Work, and/or your performance under these Terms and Conditions. In the event a complaint is made by a third party regarding the Work, we reserve the right to suspend the Services in accordance with Section 7.1 until such time as the complaint is satisfactorily resolved, as determined by us in our sole discretion.

Tell us again Lori of how Joan made a “mistake” – you are full of shit, and so is Joan.

Comment by Gert McQueen: 

This is very very interesting, indeed!!
As Ruth says:
“There is more to this story and will be posted next week. We have just been busy. We have several blog posts waiting to get up.”

There is definetly true! There is so much more to the story of Joan’s lying book and it’s DEATH! Stay tuned!

Make no mistake…the book, as she wrote it, is DEAD, it will never be republished. And…if she EVER writes another, she had better NOT mention the names and lives of the birth family…we give NO PERMISSION, for her to earn money off our names and lives.
Furthermore, we shall be always watching her to make sure she NEVER LIES ABOUT US AGAIN.

4. gertmcqueenDecember 12, 2011

Gert here…again…
Thank you Ruth for giving such a detailed clarification of the time line of when Joan published, on the internet and in print, lies about us, and when we got involved.

For the record…I had no knowledge of what Joan was doing, nor did I care, for years…I had about 3 contacts with her since 1980 and each one was used AGAINST ME by her.

In Dec of 2009 I was in the middle of a physical move when both Ruth and Kathy called me telling me that Joan published the book! I did not get to see a physical copy until late Jan 2010. I then got an email account and started emailing my posts to Ruth for her blog. It wasn’t until July 2011, when Ruth had a injury, did I get a blog of my own. In the past two years I have learned and read many many things that Joan has done that I was not aware of before but now that I am I shall make sure that everyone knows about them.

So Joan and anyone else out there that wants to believe in their own bullshit, be my guest and continue to lie to yourselves! But, truth wins out and liars are always shown for what they are!

If Joan is waiting for another opportunity she is going to wait for a long long time. Her story has been written and her history is NOW known. Any other book written by Joan will be looked at very carefully, believe me. Her book is not sleeping, it’s dead. Joan doesn’t understand the difference. Once a liar always a liar and anyone who thinks they can get another book published by that liar had better understand the nature of libel…it always follows you.

Beware of helping Joan Wheeler, you could find yourself in a law suit.


Adopted Child Syndrome – a way out for 50 year old brats? #flipthescript March 4, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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a person can find any number of ‘illnesses’ to explain their BS behaviors

This particular blog post gets FREQUENT views…must mean that there is a lot of interest in the topic…so…be aware…that there are some that can con others…

UPDATE February 2017; as older posts are being seen I, Gert am updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor


this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

Also see this Facebook page


In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum


Joan Mary Wheeler forum 


review of first book and 4 comments




update, November 6, 2011

Please see Gert McQueen’s November 1, 2011 article “Americans for Open Records and Adopted Child Syndrome” for an insight on how “adult” adoptees refuse to take responsiblilty for their own behavior and shift the blame onto other people and “adopted child syndrome.” I don’t buy thier cop-out for a minute.  Just because someone has had a bad break in life, does not give them an excuse for hurting others, physically or emotionally.

ok, back to my original post:

I was directed to this interesting website. For those with problems, and who are sincerely trying to overcome them, and do accept the consequences of their actions, I give you hugs. Others, well, um, having been the victim of one, — sigh, —- oh, just read on:

Adopted Child Syndrome

In 1978, Dr. David Kirschner coined the term “Adopted Child Syndrome” as underlying “Dissociative Disorder,” in his paper, “Son of Sam and the Adopted Child Syndrome,” Adelphi Society for Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy Newsletter, 1978)… and in the same year, the Indian Child Welfare Act (Public Law 95-608) was amended to provide adult adoptees of Native American heritage “different rights” than non-Indian adoptees.

conflict with authority (for example truancy);
preoccupation with excessive fantasy;
pathological lying;
running away (from home, school, group homes, situations);
learning difficulties, under-achievement, over-achievement;
lack of impulse control (acting out, promiscuity, sex crimes);
fascination with fire, fire-setting

Years laters Kirschner still maintained:

“In twenty-five years of practice I have seen hundreds of adoptees, most adopted in infancy. In case after case, I have observed what I have come to call the Adopted Child Syndrome, which may include pathological lying, stealing, truancy, manipulation, shallowness of attachment, provocation of parents and other authorities, threatened or actual running away, promiscuity, learning problems, fire-setting, and increasingly serious antisocial behavior, often leading to court custody. It may include an extremely negative or grandiose self-image, low frustration tolerance, and an absence of normal guilt or anxiety.” (“The Adopted Child Syndrome: What Therapists Should Know,” Psychotherapy in Private Practice, vol. 8 (3) Hayworth Press, 1990)….

alright. alright. So what we’re hearing, is that adoption has a detrimental effect on people. ok. So now what? The rest of society is just supposed to sit back and take their garbage?
Stealing from someone is wrong. And when it meets certain guidelines, IS A CRIMINAL OFFENSE! So, when an adopted person steals, we are just supposed to pat them on the head, and say, “there, there, it’s okay. You were adopted, so you don’t have to pay for your crime. You don’t have to apologize. You don’t have to make restitution.” BALONEY!

How many of you will make excuses for a pedophile? Not too many. What if we catch a pedophile. A child rapist. He’s put on the news. “String him by the balls.” many people say. And during his trial, we find out, *gasp* he was adopted! Now what do we do? SET HIM FREE? So he can abuse another child?

No. Criminals can come up with all sorts of excuses and rationales for their crimes. “I was abused as an child.” This is the most often heard excuse. Adolf Hitler was abused as a child. So was Charles Manson. Not too many people feel any sympathy for them. Jeffrey Dahmer and John Wayne Gacy were also abused as children. Not too many people feel any sympathy for them either. So let’s add a hypothetical factor into the mix: These 4 men were ADOPTED! Now what are we going to do? I know! I know! Let’s let Charles Manson out of prison! He’s not to blame, he was adopted!

In Buffalo, just this past week, we heard the gruesome details of a horrible crime that happened a couple of weeks ago. The 23 year old mentally and physically handicapped child of a mother was tortured to death. HER OWN MOTHER beat this girl. Sodomized her. Encouraged the girl’s 33 year old half brother to rape her. Her head was covered up, she was beaten, scalding hot water was poured on her by the brother hours before her death. Another brother, in the military, and other people were calling left and right to the authorities to have the 23 year old removed from the house, but the system failed her.

What are your thoughts? Should the mother and brother be held accountable for their actions? New York State does not have the death penalty. Should they get life imprisonment? 50 years to life? What would you charge them with? First degree murder? Manslaughter? First degree rape and sexual assault? The district attorney is charging them with a hate crime, because the victim was mentally and physically handicapped.

Now what are your thoughts about the mother? Sadistic cruel bitch, eh? How can a mother do that to her own child? 

How about Scott Peterson, who murdered his pregnant wife Lacey Peterson a few years ago? O.J.Simpson? Think of any high-profile, (or low-profile) criminal case you can. What are your thoughts? They should pay for their crimes, right? How about Osama bin Laden, who masterminded the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, who is responsible for the worst terrorist attack on the planet? Any member of Al-Qaeda, who is responsible for other terrorist attacks around the world? They should pay for their crimes, right?

Well about if all these people were ADOPTED? Now what? We should just let them go free? Not charge them with any crime? Let them go so they can go and kill somebody else?

How about your local street punk, who robs you at knifepoint for your spare change. What’s he gonna do with that spare change? Get enough together to score some more crack? What’s his dam excuse? He was adopted?
Or about the crack addict who busts in the door of an elderly couple, beats them, breaking their facial bones. Rapes the 79 year old woman, then ransacks the home for valuables. The elderly man dies hours later of a heart attack. The woman lingers in the hospital for several weeks before she too dies. Oh, but wait! The crack addict was adopted!


I don’t feel sorry for ANYBODY who was adopted and uses adoption as an excuse for their own bad behavior.  EVERYBODY ON THIS PLANET HAS SOME SORT OF PROBLEM. And we all LEARN HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM AND GET ON WITH A LAW-ABIDING LIFE THAT INCLUDES RESPECTING OTHER PEOPLE.

As the FORMER VICTIM of an adoptee with psychological problems I want to say: I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR “ISSUE du JOUR” is. I DON’T CARE THAT YOU GOT PROBLEMS! YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE IT OUT ON ME!

I don’t care that Joan has problems dealing with the fact that she was adopted. This does NOT give her the right to steal from me, lie about me, trash me in her book, call my job to get me fired, manipulate people and try to turn them against me, try to break me and my husband up, send me harassment letters, send me envelopes addressed to ME, but the inside letter is for somebody else, pose as me and call child abuse on herself and name my husband as a sex offender.

In her book, Forbidden Family, Joan says that I live in the inner city. The ghetto. Like that’s a crime. A disgusting thing. Yeah, well, she used to live a mile and a half away from me, also in the inner city. So what was her point? Her point, and this was a value judgement, that because I live in the inner city, I am trash. Really? I have held the same job for 37 and a half years. I don’t do drugs. I drink only occasionally. I do not use or sell drugs. I do not, nor have ever sold my body on the street. I have had less than 7 sexual partners in my whole life, have never cheated on my two husbands, have never been arrested. I have had only one speeding ticket, and I was going with the flow of traffic. I am not perfect, but I am not trash. But Joan would have you believe that I am.

Let’s go back over this list that adoptees seem to have problems with:

conflict with authority (for example truancy);
preoccupation with excessive fantasy;
pathological lying;
running away (from home, school, group homes, situations);
learning difficulties, under-achievement, over-achievement;
lack of impulse control (acting out, promiscuity, sex crimes);
fascination with fire, fire-setting

OH  yes, conflict with authority. In 1999, she was harassing my cousin big time. Gail went to the Town of Eden police for help. The police told Joan to stop contacting Gail. But she sent Gail another letter. Gail goes back to the police, and in front of Gail, they phone Joan. “Did you contact Mrs. B. after we told you not to?” And Joan answered “yes.” So Joan was hauled into court BY THE TOWN OF EDEN POLICE! Not Gail, but the police themselves. But on November 3, 2009, when I phoned Joan to inform her of an aunt’s death, Joan calls the police on me! Joan has a problem with authority, but will call them left and right on other people, whom she perceives as “bothering her.”

Excessive fantasy. oh geez. In 1988, Joan was lining up musicians to write the music for the movie version of her as-yet-unwritten book. I, I, I can’t even fathom this one. I don’t know what to say.  Unfortunately, the duo, J. & B., lost J. She died. No movie soundtrack. No movie either.

Pathological lying. — what my blog is about. ’nuff said.

stealing. — oh yes, both me and my sister Kathy have suffered thefts from Joan.

running away. — Joan has not “run away” from home that I know of. But she certainly runs away from her problems. Will not admit that she has them. In fact, Joan is perfect. It’s everybody else on the planet that has the problem.

learning difficulties, under-achievement, over-achievement; — Joan’s only learning difficulties is her lack of learning how NOT to treat people like dirt. Under-achievement – Joan is very intelligent. I have always said this. But does she use her brains at all? She has no job. She has a college degree, but has no job. She claims she is a social worker. But has no job. She is not disabled. She has IBS and allergies. So do I.

lack of impulse control (acting out, promiscuity, sex crimes);  — lack of impulse control — that’s an understatement when it comes to Joan. She can’t control herself, her mouth, her actions, her hands at the keyboard, her hands on the phone, her hands writing stupid letters and sending them to elected officials and telling lies about me. I don’t think she has done any sex crimes. Promiscuity. mmm, mmm, I’m not even going there.  No Comment at This Time.

fascination with fire, fire-setting – She writes in her book that she burned all her diaries, and bunches of stuff. She told one of my cousins that she has no pictures of her children when they were babies, because in a fit of rage, she burned all their pictures and toys IN FRONT OF THEM!It’s not her fault. Nothing ever is. She’s Teflon.

So here it is, a week later, and I’m still here, still pointing out lies and contradictions made by Joan Wheeler in her book and on her blog.     Back on February 24 or February 25, Joan contacted her good friend Mara to tell her about my blog. Mara then posts a discussion on a forum she belongs to asking for support. She wanted other members of the forum to back up her friend who was being slammed by her own sister. (like Joan hasn’t slammed ME for years?). Well, my goodness, all of a sudden all these adoptees came out of the woodwork and started coming over here to check out my blog. In just 3 days, well over 200 views! I got 7 comments total, from 5 people (2 people left 2 comments). ALL derogatory, and one, by Sweet Mara, was just full of obscenities!
   But geez! On page 370 of her book Forbidden Family, Joan derides me for my “street talk.” lol. She says that I talk street talk as my usual style of conversation. Oh really? Now if that isn’t a slam OF HER OWN SISTER, then, sweet Mara, what do you call it?
And another indication of how hypocritical Joan is. I have heard Joan use potty language myself. And worse than me! But she calls Sweet Mara, her friend, who left me a obscene comment. every other word was F this, F that, and her closing words were F U!
     Then these people complain that I didn’t post their comments. Why should I? They were hateful. Not even staying on the subject! The subject of being the reason of my blog: ferreting out and pointing out lies and contradictions made by Joan in her book and her blog. and then telling the TRUTH behind those lies and contradictions! Uh, people, uh, JOAN doesn’t allow certain comments on HER blog, so why you are complaining about me, not allowing your comments, why don’t you go back and ask JOAN why she won’t allow MY comment? I left a comment on her blog over a month ago. Somebody left a comment and said, “all those involved in your (Joan’s) adoption were not good human beings.” I had an issue with that. MY FATHER was involved in Joan’s adoption and I was NOT going to sit back and let somebody say that my father is not a good human being. I left Joan a very nicely worded polite comment, saying that my comment was NOT to harass her, but to defend my father.
On the page before page 1 in her book, Joan puts down some interesting quotes. One was the fourth commandment: HONOR THY MOTHER AND THY FATHER.
    When Joan allowed that stranger to say what she did, (by not saying, I agree with your comment, but please do not disrespect my birth father), Joan did NOT honor my father, HER BIRTH FATHER.
    When Joan did not allow me to defend my father, Joan did not honor her birth father. — another little contradiction from your friendly neighborhood liar Joan Wheeler.

And you didn’t see me throwing a hissy fit because Joan didn’t post my comment. I wrote about it, yes, right here on my blog. (I will have to go find it and provide a link for it). I posted my original comment defending my father here on my blog. But I didn’t go into spasms because Joan didn’t publish my comment. As the webmistress of her blog, she had the right NOT to publish my comment. As the webmistress of THIS blog, I have the same right. Before I started this blog, I left a comment over at the Daily Bastardette (the only adoption reform site I left a comment on). It was in answer to the post “Joan Wheeler is a Baaaaad Girl.” It was a polite comment. I identified myself as Joan’s birth sister, and I pointed out a contradiction made by Joan. I can’t even remember what it was all about. Anyway, the webmistress chose not to publish my comment.  That was her right. And that’s what gave me the idea to start a blog, to get out MY statements on Joan’s adoption, MY family history, MY life story. And telling the TRUTH about it all.

So, here it is a week later, me and my blog are still here, and no more visits from Sweet Mara and her other cyber bully buddies. So what did you accomplish Joan? All you did was show everyone what a USER you are. oh boo hoo, my sister has a blog and she is saying stuff about me. boo hoo hoo.

Well, people Joan has published a book that says a lot about me! You don’t see me boo-hooing and getting other people to do my dirty work. I STAND UP FOR MYSELF! I started this blog to defend myself, my father, my mother, my (dead) son, and the rest of my family!

Joan had the guts to write that disgusting lying book. She is well capable of standing up for herself. She has done so before. What’s the problem now? No, she has no problem standing up for herself and answering my charges of her lies.  She has no explanation of why her book is nothing but a hate-filled book trashing me, my family and just about everybody in her life, from childhood up, who has ever disagreed with her. 

 One of the “charges” one of her adoptee bully-buddies said in a comment is that why am I trashing Joan for disagreeing with me. No, I am not trashing her for disagreeing with me, I am putting out the truth, AND telling you the rotten stuff Joan has done to me. Like calling child abuse on herself, saying she was me in the call, and telling the authorities that my husband is a sex offender. Joan is very silent about that. Why? In her book she relates that we had a three month court battle because of that child abuse call. I have scanned into my computer, and uploaded and posted here in this blog, actual court documents that prove without a doubt, that this three month court battle NEVER HAPPENED. Joan is here reading my blog. Sweet Mara admits it. Why does Joan not say anything  in her “defense?” I will tell you why: SHE HAS NO DEFENSE. SHE GOT CAUGHT IN A REAL BIG LIE AND NOW ISN’T WOMAN ENOUGH TO OWN UP TO HER LIE AND TELL THE WORLD JUST WHAT SORT OF LOW-LIFE SHE IS!

She tells her friend Sweet Mara that she is depressed. I would just bet she is depressed. She is depressed because the truth about her is now coming out.

She’s been a member of your forum for a week now (as of March 6). Has she contributed anything? Has she even thanked you guys for your support and you backing her up? You guys went out of your ways, to visit a “rambling, hard to read” (really!) blog, took the time to comment, albeit none of them very mannerly, and one showing me what a filthy-minded, potty-mouthed BRAT she is, and what has Joan done? Has she shown gratitude? “Awesome” people show gratitude.

Sweet Mara went out of her way to ask for support from the forum for Joan, and Joan has sat backed and done nothing! She’s happy. She just manipulated a “friend” to do her dirty work, namely come over here and see how awful her birth sister is,  and even trash me yourselves!

Are you people so weak-minded, that you let yourselves get led around by the nose when someone boo-hoo’s to you? Or are you really cyber-bullies who get off by leaving stupid and filthy comments on somebody’s blog? Either way, I am not impressed with any of you, nor intimidated by you.

Sweet Mara, do you see how you were used by Joan? How does it feel to have been manipulated into doing Joan’s dirty work? What did YOU accomplish? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Oh I am sure you guys are over at your discussion forum just ripping me to shreds. lol. So what? Go ahead! Sit there with your gossip mongering and character assassination. It ain’t bothering me. I ain’t reading it. I could care less what the heck you do on your forum. Do what you want. Say what you want. You ain’t related to me, you got nothing to do with me. I’m just sitting here laughing at all you guys, having been taken in by poor poor innocent little Joni. roflmao! And if she is what you call an awesome role model, I have to question YOUR insight. And after I have found it lacking, I feel — nothing. Well, not exactly nothing, I am feeling — amusement! I think the whole thing is funny.
I really wish I could upgrade my WordPress account so I could upload some videos. I have a webcam on my little netbook. I really need to make a video of myself reading aloud from my blog about this incident. I’m not sure if I could get the words out between my guffaws.  I must say the whole affair is most entertaining. (ty Sir Arthur Conan Doyle).  (paraphrase from The Speckled Band, Adventures of Sherlock Holmes). omg you guys are soooo predictable.

Anyways, let me go on with my ramblings. yes, I admit to some rambling, that’s because a blog is an online log, a journal. It is my blog, I can ramble if I dam well want to. If you don’t like it, too bad. Joan doesn’t have any trouble reading my blog, how come you guys can’t?

From Gert McQueen, March 4, 2010 at sister site The Three Sippel Sisters

Love and Open Communication are not just words, they should be LIVED!  December 12, 2009

notice to Joan Wheeler: my IP address changed by itself.  December 9, 2009

A most vile and hateful lie in Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family December 25, 2009

3. ktmckinsey – December 10, 2010
I’m an adult adoptee, and I can testify to the fact that infant adoption can leave serious emotional scars. It’s touched my life in ways that I can’t even begin to describe here, and adoption agencies should work to better educate adoptive parents so as to identify potential issues early on.

I guess I just want to point out one thing: most adoptees aren’t trying to excuse the violence committed by other adoptees. Children who are abused are also more likely to commit violent crimes as adults. We can acknowledge this fact without excusing the behavior or assuming that ALL formerly abused children are violent. Why can’t we take this same approach to adopted child syndrome and the potential for violence from adoptees? They are a high risk group, and it doesn’t do anyone any favors to assume otherwise.

2. Ruth – December 11, 2010
kt brings up some very good points. And while I was not ALL adoptees as to be exibiting anti-social behavior, I was trying to point out that a good many of them USE their “bad” childhood to justify their bad behaviors.

I personally have been to subjected to a LOT of bad behvior from the hands of Joan Wheeler, who uses her “bad” adoption as an excuse to inflict emotional pain and abuse on members of both her birth and adoptive families. This is unacceptable.

I am a human being too. I have rights too. I do not deserve to have hundreds of dollars stolen from me just because Joan was adopted and knows no boundaries. And when I understandably became angry at the theft, it was JOAN who began sending me harassing letters which started the feud that exists between us to this present day.

Joan has repeatedly done things that normal people just do not do. For instance, in 1999, I received two letters from her. One, was to inform me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant and thier daughter was born in 1994. I have known personally the two babies born to women at the house from 1987 to 1999 and they were baby boys. Now why would someone send their own sister a letter like that? AND use a friend’s return address – without the friend’s knowledge or consent. The second letter from Joan was yakking about the anniversary of our reunion, and in it was this sentance: “for some reason, you don’t like me.” Why would I like a person who steals from me and lies about my husband. And when I went to the return address of that first letter and showed it to Joan’s friend, Joan’s friend broke off her freindship with her. THEN Joan turns around and blames ME for the destruction of that friendship!

There are many more examples of Joan’s bad behaviors, and her unwillingness to acknowledge that it is HER actions, and HER actions alone that have gotten us to this point. and the final blow was the self-publication of her book in which she lies throughout the book about events that happened between me and her, and events in my life in which she had nothing to do with, and do not belong in a book that is supposed to be about adoption and adoption reform. That is the purpose of this blog – to shed the light on Joan’s deeds and lies.

I am not a psychologist in any way shape or form. I cannot give a definitive diagonose on just what is Joan’s problem. All I can say is that she exhibits symptoms of manic depression, (and I know for a fact that she has been treated for this in the past), she exhibits symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and this Adopted Child Syndrome.

Mental illness? oh yes, you don’t need to have a doctor’s degree to see that Joan is suffering from sort of mental illness. It is NOT normal for someone to steal from someone, and not recognize that it would hurt that person, and when the person is justifiably angry, it is NOT normal for someone to say that the other person does NOT have the right to be angry and hurt and not have the right to verbalize those feelings. Everytime I verbalized my anger, Joan herself got angrier and angrier and then the stalking, yes, stalking occured. It is NOT normal for someone to call another person’s job repeatedly to get them fired. It is NOT normal for a person to forge a letter from their own 10 year old son, the letter addressed to one person, and the envelope addressed to me, baiting me to call her. And when I called her, Joan hung up on me. and Icalled back two more times. And the following week, when my electricity was shut off, I called her for help, as she still owed me the money she stole from me, she hung up again. and again. And then turned around and filed a police report on me claiming that I was harassing her. She was given a sixmonth order of protection against me for this. the ONLY order of protection she EVER obtained from the collective Three Sippel Sisters.
Yet in the book, and all over the internet, this event is reported by Joan to say that I was arrested, placed on probation, the order of protection was for one year, I have a criminal record and she has had obtained MULTIPLE orders of protection against us sisters. ALL of this is false, false, false. These falsehoods are potentially damaging to our personal and professional lives. But does Joan care? No. And this is NOT normal for an adult woman to be doing these things. And I have scanned and posted here on this blog, actual court documents that prove that Joan is a liar – and she blindly blunders on – ignoring FACTS OF LIFE – !!!!

I don’t know what she thinks those actual court documents are – but she just ignores them as pages from a fairy tale! Even when confronted with absolute proof of her lies, with court documents and photographs on this blog, Joan STILL insists that the order of protection was for one year, I was arrested, I was placed on probation. THIS IS NOT NORMAL!

If adoptees don’t want to be lumped into this Adopted Child Syndrome, than I suggest they look to the company they keep. Is it Joan’s fault that she is mentally ill? Of course not! But she needs to be placed on medication and she needs to be undergoing Behavioral Modification Treatment, because not only does she engage in anti-social behviour, but criminal behavior as well. It is not ME or the other two Sippel Sisters who are engaging in criminal behavior, it is Joan. The entire Sippel family has turned their backs on Joan – not just us sisters. Why? Because she does things to them as well. But us sisters, particularly me, are her favorite targets. Why? I don’t know. I just don’t know.

We sisters and many other members of our family have been hurt many times over by Joan. I myself have shed many tears. My heart was taken out and stomped on by Joan in 1987, in 1990, in 1993, 1994, and again and again. I turned the other cheek so many times, I ran out of cheeks. And yet, in 2003, I tried, I really tried to have a relationship with her again, and it took her only 4 months to show her true colors and attack me again. And now the book and her continous going on internet forums and lying about me and my life and my family.

Adopted Child Syndrome? You are not only the company you keep, but the behavior you exhibit. People make mistakes, yes, but normal people correct their mistakes, apologize to the ones they hurt and don’t repeat the bad behavior. What is wrong with Joan? I don’t know, and at this point, I don’t care. I can only protect my life and my heart from being hurt by her again, AND correct all the lies she has spread about me and my family.

I have said it before on this blog – Joan is not only mentally ill, but a bully. A true bully. She attacks me and others, then runs to others for help when we will NOT accept her attacks. She will not stand up and acknowledge her contribution to our anger, and manipulates others to attack us in return. With this blog, we are not only shedding light on the deeds of Joan the Bully, thereby standing up to the bully, but we are correcting the bully’s lies.

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