Never Trust Anyone Who Always Blames Everyone Else for Everything Wrong in Their Life (like Joan Wheeler does) September 11, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
Tags: abuse, adoption, blaming people for your own mess, embellishing the truth, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, whining
right – if you listen to Joan Wheeler carefully – you will notice that everything bad in her life is because of what OTHER people have done. NOTHING in her life is because of a choice that she herself has made. And if you listen very closely – you will notice that anything bad in her life has been caused by me. I get fucking blamed for everything – even when I’m sleeping and not even thinking of her. – Correction – everything bad in her life happened because she was adopted – after her adoption, everything bad in her life is because of Ruth. Ruth did this, Ruth did that. Then she’ll blame her other birth sisters. I could be under anesthetics, having surgery done, but she’ll still say that at that moment in time – I did something to her.
observation – gosh – it had been almost two years since Joan called my job – for the umpteenth time – to get me fired. She’s slacking! – I wonder what she’ll do when I retire – she’ll have no plaything – her life will be soooo bereft without her 20 year habit of calling my job with false accusations.
UPDATE, APRIL 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…
Joan Wheeler continues to drag me into her useless conversations about adoption problems! August 12, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, blaming people for your own mess, embellishing the truth, gossip, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity
Today, on facebook, Joan writes, in a discussion about a book (not her own piece of shit libelous mouthings of raving lunacy, but somebody else’s book:
Joan M Wheeler (to) Hilbrand W.S. Westra – “you are so very right. I noticed this, too, but didn’t say so publicly as the author is a friend of mine. I think she knows exactly the point you make. And yes, we need to stop pointing fingers at adoptees as the source of our own problems. Adoption itself is the problem from which all others stem. HOWEVER, for many adoptees, like me, who are half orphans or full orphans, one or both of our parents actually did die. That problem was fully discussed by Ken Watson (RIP) at an AAC conference circa 1990. I was dissolved to tears, yet, our good friend, René Hoksbergen nudged me forward to talk with Ken that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings, compounded by adoption soon afterward. And yes, compounded by adopters’ ignorance and willful deception.”
okay, in this discussion that I really don’t have any interest in, – she SLAMS her birth siblings again by saying “…that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings …”
Excuse me Joan, I most certainly do NOT have any lifelong problems due to the death of my mother. WHERE is your evidence that I have lifelong problems? I”M not the one constantly harassing people, YOU are. I’M not the one on Social Security Disability because of “psychological problems” – YOU are. I’M not the one who bounces from man to man and has an alchohol problem – That’s YOU. I’M not the one who has been in therapy for more 30 years – YOU are. — The three times I requested counseling – 1. grief counseling after miscarrying my son, 2. seeking advice on PTSD in Veteran’s, as my husband has nightmares due to his years in Vietnam, and 3. overload of stress in 2003 after my husband’s open heart surgery, and the deaths of 6 family members in rapid succession, beginning in the end of July 2003 to the middle of October 2003 and my father’s open heart surgery two and a half months after my husband’s surgery. In all three times – I went to only THREE therapy sessions, lasting only an hour each time – (three hours of therapy for Ruth, compared to years and years for Joan) – and each therapist told me that I was a well-adjusted person. SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH ABOUT ME JOAN.
Earlier today, in response to a facebook post by the comic magazine Cracked about the suicide of Robin Williams, I wrote the following:
“Cracked.com says: ‘Every time they make a joke around you, they’re doing it because they instinctively and reflexively think that’s what they need to do to make you like them. They’re afraid that the moment the laughter stops, all that’s left is that gross, awkward kid everyone hated on the playground.’
(my response) – well, I was the gross, awkward kid on the playground that nobody liked and everybody bullied. I have scars from the bullying. I just turned 62 and there are times I remember the names and it still hurts. But I took life on and said “fuck this shit.” I turned my ugly duckling younger self – the one the other girls in school called ugly and became a graceful belly dancer. I became a health care worker because I have compassion.
I will never commit suicide, because that would be giving in. I will never poison my body with stupid drugs. I will never turn a gun on myself (or others). I will never hang myself. I try new things. I wish I had more money to try more new things. I want to see more of the world. It’s such a beautiful and exciting world – I want to see Paris, Rome, Athens, Rio de Janieros – the Great Wall of China – the tomb of Tutankhamun –
I’m sorry that Robin took the route he did. I loved him as an actor and comedian. I wish he had not done what he did.”
I also wrote this last night regarding the speculation that Robin Williams depression may have been linked to his heart disease and surgery, and he was feeling vulnerable:
“John had heart surgery in 2003. He was not, is not depressed. Nor does he take drugs, nor does he drink. We both have an occasional beer or wine.
Robin Williams said that he felt “vulnerable.” Not sure what he meant by that. Every surgery can be potentially dangerous. Lots of people go thru surgery every day all over the world.
We can’t be inside another human’s head to figure out what is going on. All I can do is comment from my own experiences. I’ve had several surgeries, and came out not feeling vulnerable. And so has John – and John was scared shitless. Imagine not ever having surgery before – and your very first surgery is heart surgery. Perhaps John has a strong will – after all, he was a Navy Seal in Vietnam for six years. Takes a special kind of man for that job.
Life is tough. Ya gotta meet it head on. Or get plowed under. I refuse to get plowed under. “
AND before learning about Robin Williams’ suicide, I had just written the following rebuttal to actor Russell Brand’s “excuse” for drug abuse:
“I disagree – everybody knows by now how harmful drugs are. You are not born with drugs in your system – YOU made the conscious decision to PUT the drugs into your body. Everybody knows these substances are highly addictive – but, YOU chose to put them into your body. If this “illness” causes you to steal your own mother’s rent money (I know someone on my street who did that) or do the shit my exBFF did to me – and you see these things happening again and again to people in your neighborhood, you read about the theft and violence and greed that taking and selling drugs does not only to the user, but those around them – WHY would you even start taking that shit? I am 62 years old, and outside of smoking some weed, I have NEVER taken drugs, don’t want to take that shit and will never be a drug addict – not even to prescription pain pills, because I take those guys for needed pain relief, then wean myself off that shit.
My body is my temple – the only bad shit I put into it is coffee, pizza and chocolate – IN MODERATION – and they don’t cause me to steal from people, lie to my loved ones, or treat my loved ones like shit.
STAY THE FUCK OFF DRUGS”
The only problems I have right now – are dealing with the fact that Joan REFUSES to stop dragging me into her crap. – Shut the fuck up about me Joan.
This is what I live by – NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER. Joan on the other hand, dissolves into tears, gets the shakes, is overwhelmed, is stunned, is shocked and runs to the bottle. (her own words in her stupid book and on various places on the internet).
And check out this other recent development from Joan’s lying mouth.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, Disrespect, harassment, Lies, mental illness, mental instability
I don’t know how many of my readers are aware of the youtube video of a woman going off on a racist rant in Cheektowaga, New York. Cheektowaga is a suburb of Buffalo, NY, and the incident took place at the Airport Plaza, about 3 miles from my home. I don’t know the woman and I’m glad I don’t. I don’t know the man she was screaming at either.
The incident occurred on Friday, May 30, 2014. The man started his van, startling the woman’s son. The woman started yelling at the man that he scared her son. She then proceeded to call him a “n” – yes – the N word that shows clearly she is a racist. The man picked up his cell phone and began filming her – and she kept insulting him, turning her back on him while she got on her cell phone to call someone. All the while she kept calling the man “N” and then says she doesn’t like black people and her children don’t either. Then she gets her children to swear at him. The children are very young, and while their mother is busy with her racist rant, begin to show signs of shock, confusion, and being frightened.
The man in the van calmly tells the woman “great, now you have your children swearing at me.” and continues to video the woman. The woman, is talking to someone on her cell phone but telling the black guy it’s the police, the children’s father, her husband, and her lawyer – she can’t seem to make up her mind who she is talking to.
She’s also taking in non-sequitor (nonsensical) statements. Nowhere does the black man say he knows the police, but she starts yelling/talking to whoever on her cell phone “Oh HE knows the cops. How many cops have I stripped for?”
She’s worked herself up into a rage and threatens to throw hot coffee on the man, who then rolls up the window of his van, but then lowers it. Meanwhile, she’s still ranting and raving.
In the story published in The Buffalo News, published on June 5, 2014, the man says he was shocked by how her anger escalated.
The man did post the video to youtube, and the woman called a talk radio and identified herself and said she was bi-polar. Because she identified herself, some people tracked down her address and put it on the internet. Rocks were being thrown at her house, her children threatened. AND Child Protective Services took her children away earlier this week. I don’t know the reasons why – probably because in the video she is neglecting them, telling them to call a strange man names and basically put them in danger because of her stupid behavior.
Now we can get into the discussion of race, and the responsibilites and consequences of a parents actions another time. And I’ve been debating this on the facebook page of WGRZ-TV, a local news station that did a story on this earlier this week. And on the youtube channel that put out this video.
What I want to discuss here – is how this woman’s behavior mirrors that of a person that I know very well – the person of whom this blog is about – Joan Wheeler.
But first – let’s take a look at this now famous video – it went viral, and by this evening (Friday, June 6, 2014) and had 7 million views.
So, have you watched it? I hope you did, because otherwise you won’t understand what I am going to say.
Notice in the beginning of the video, not the beginning of the incident, because the young man didn’t do anything wrong, only started his car, and has this white woman begin calling him racist names, and then starts the video. Because of what happened to Trayvon Martin in Florida, and a couple of recent police brutality cases in Buffalo, one involving a young black man, I’m sure this man’s instinct was to get documentation of what was happening.
The woman is merely being a dumbass making a racist comment. Soon she works herself up into a rage and is fairly frothing at the mouth when she walks up to the man’s van and gets into his face and insults him again.
The man is not getting out of his car, not getting into a screaming match with her, but trying calmly to get his point across – that racism is alive and well in Cheektowaga – and every time he says something – she tries to shut him down.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT JOAN WHEELER DOES! EVERYTHING THE WOMAN IN THE VIDEO IS SHOWN DOING IS EXACTLY WHAT JOAN WHEELER DOES – I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN HER IN ACTION!
The conversation starts out fairly civilized, but once Joan sees that you disagree with her, or are not obeying her – she begins to get agitated. Begins the swearing and screaming. You stand there, not believing what has just happened. She’s now frothing at the mouth and screaming so hard you can’t get a word in edgewise. If you are on the phone with her – the rant ends by Joan slamming the phone on you – leaving you shaking in anger and shock.
As to the non-sequitar statement made on the video about the man knowing cops and she strips for cops – Joan also does this. Out of the clear blue sky, Joan will say something and you don’t know what the hell she is talking about.
The woman in the video called a radio talk show and said she is bi-polar. Well so is Joan. And? So we are supposed to take this kind of verbal abuse because THEY are bi-polar?
On November 3, 2009, I called Joan on the phone to tell her that our Aunt Doris had died. I didn’t know Joan’s phone number, so I called my father. Knowing that a few months prior to this, he had kicked Joan out of his house and life, I didn’t know if he still had her phone number. So I called him up and asked him. He sounded tired and I said that I would call Joan and tell her about Aunt Doris. He gave me the number and I called her.
Me: “Joan, this is Ruth.”
Joan: “how did you get this number?”
Me: “from Dad.”
Joan: “NOT a good idea.”
Me: “Whatever. Anyway, I’m calling to tell you that Aunt Doris died the other day and I thought you should know.”
(now up to this point, both me and Joan are talking calmly, although she was a bit snippy when she said that it was NOT a good idea that Dad had given me the number). We continue with the conversation —
Joan: “Thank you for that, (calmly), — BUT YOU HAVE NO FUCKING %$$#&**(^^%% (now she’s yelling and I can’t even make out what she’s saying) AND FUCK YOU AND #$%$%^&&^%%$#@!!!!!!”
What did the Buffalo News say about the young man making the video? That he was shocked by how the woman’s anger escalated? Well, that was I how I felt when I was being subjected to this barrage of verbal abuse! I still had my email from our Uncle Rich telling me that Aunt Doris (not his wife, but his late brother’s ex-wife) had passed. I remember staring at Doris’ name (Joan’s birth name was Doris, named for Aunt Doris, and that’s why I thought, no, KNEW that it was important that Joan be told of her passing. Silly me, I didn’t think that I would get this kind of thanks). I kept staring at my computer screen and hearing Joan going off on a rampage. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO WRONG??? I actually burst into tears, but Joan did not hear me crying, because she was too busy yelling unintelligible insults at me. I finally did hear and understand something about “AND YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY SISTER…!!!”
It was at this point I yelled back at her – “BITCH – YOU DON’T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD SISTER!” and hung up on her.
What Joan Wheeler did to me on that day was bully me by subjecting me to verbal abuse. And I will not tolerate it. I don’t care what your problem is – bi-polar, whatever – YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO ABUSE OTHER PEOPLE THEN USE YOUR ILLNESS AS AN EXCUSE!
Get your ass on meds and get the hell away from me and other people who are simply going about their lives.
Tags: blaming people for your own mess, misery, whining
Interesting conversation on facebook this week – Joan and her buddy Dana –
Dana says she’s fat and therefore not a human being. Then she says she not self-sustainable. Joan chimes in that she also is not self-sustainable, then mouths nonsense about a woman she knew that had a happy marriage, two kids with one on the way and was heavy and happy.
I can’t put my finger on it, but the whole conversation seems -I don’t know, a self-defeatist attitude shoved on facebook so all can see what losers they think of themselves.
Dana says she’s fat, therefore she’s not a human being. Both her and Joan are not self-sustaining. They both seem to recognize that that is a problem. But neither one talks about solutions. Dana seems to be lamenting that she’s fat and broke. Joan offers no solutions to her buddy and laments that she too is broke. Then talks about another woman who is heavy and happy.
Misery loves company so they say. And this conversation bears that out. If I hadn’t seen this on the internet, I probably would had overheard this taking place in a bar – two down and out women, blubbering on about their “problems” and getting drunk. And neither one coming up with a solution or even bolstering each other’s self-esteem.
I don’t know anything about Dana’s personal life, but I know some of Joan’s – and she’s a frequent patron at bars. Well, that’s the lifestyle she chose. And if that’s the choices in life she makes, that’s up to her. And if she’s suffering – that’s her choice as well. – There is nothing in her life that is a result of ANYthing that I, or her other birth sisters “did” to her.
Joan loves to blame her miserable life on her birth sisters. And in particular, me. It’s always “Ruth did this and Ruth did that.”
Well, besides saying that Ruth did NOT do anything that Joan likes to accuse her of – what of it? Joan falsely accuses Ruth of driving past her house. – Let’s say I did drive past her house – how is that contributing to Joan’s lousy life?
Joan falsely accused Ruth of using her employer’s computers to go on the internet and visit Joan’s website – an accusation that was proven false – because my employer can trace every keystroke I do. So even I did use a hospital computer and visit Joan’s website – how would that contribute to Joan’s lousy life? – oh come on Joan – knock your shit off. I know for a fact that you read my blog – I still have my job, my house, my husband. I still got bills to pay, repairs to do in my house, etc. etc. etc. – In other words: I HAVE A LIFE AND I LIVE IT. I may bitch about Joan here on this blog, but I still live my life.
Joan has no life – her life consists of bitching and moaning about her lot in life – that she was adopted, that nobody understands her, her birth sisters don’t like her, her adopted parents lied to her and blah blah blah.
Gods, Joan, stuff it.
PS – thank you Gert for correcting my spelling mistake in the title of this post – I mixed up “their” and “there” – you know, I can’t be perfect all the time.
JOAN WHEELER USES THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY MOTHER’S DEATH TO THROW ANOTHER DIG AT HER BIRTHSISTERS March 27, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, emotional abuse
JOAN WHEELER USES THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY MOTHER’S DEATH TO THROW ANOTHER DIG AT HER BIRTHSISTERS
As usual, Joan has to exploit my mother’s death.
Read what she wrote on her facebook today, March 27, 2014. (mind you the anniversary of my mother’s death is March 28).
at around 11am, Joan writes:
Fifty-eight years ago today, my mother died. She was 30 years old. Mom left behind her husband of 10 years, age 31. Mom left behind five children: me, age 3 months; my sister, age 3; my brother, age 6; my sister, age, 8; my oldest sister, age 9. Mom’s death started a cascading set of events that led to my father relinquishing me to adoption. While I had the idyllic “happy” childhood that this “wonderful better life” provided for me, what happened from 1974 to now has been a life of hell. I cannot for one second say that all things happen for a reason. I do not know why my Mother died. God did not will this. This was not Devine Intervention. This was cancer. Genetic mutations. Nature. Nothing more. Today is the hardest day of the year. I want my Mother. The deaths of all my parents from January, February, and two in March… Two mothers died in March, different years. So today, this is my Mother’s Day. For Genevieve Herr Sippel. I love you, Mom.
and then an hour later, around noon, she writes.
Wow. Did I make a big blunder or what? Yeah. Grief does that to a person. The anniversary of mom’s death is tomorrow. I can’t think straight. Too overwhelmed. Two mothers dying in March is one too many. is it any wonder why I can’t “get my facts straight” as my sisters pound it into my head. Yeah, I missed it by one day. While the death anniversary of my adoptive mother was March 12. Thank you, Christine Monahan.. I wish you could get up to San Fran — want to meet this amazing woman in the flesh!!!!
So, as usual, I’m sleeping then come on the internet to find that I’m raked over the coals for something I didn’t do or say. I woke up at 12:20pm, come downstairs, have my coffee, watch Young and the Restless then turn on the computer, write a brief note to the person who does my schedule at work, go on the internet and see that I and my sisters are vilified because of Joan’s mistake.
Um, Joan – was this truly a sentimental post about you missing your mother? Cos you sure USED it as a big chance to stick it to me, my family and everybody else who made your life a hell from 1974. THIS IS WHY WE DON’T WANT YOU AROUND – YOU JUST CANNOT STOP THE SHIT CAN YOU? AND USING MY MOTHER AND HER DEATH AS A VEHICLE FOR YOUR SHIT!
Joan also writes that she is in a new relationship and he’s a secret for now. Who cares? But – Gert called it – the other day, when another disparaging comment appeared on her blog – and this is typical Joan-manipulation-tactics – she gets involved with a man, sobs her heart out what rotten bitches her sisters are, gets them to come to our blogs to insult us, then sits back to watch this new puppet attack us – while she keeps her hands all squeaky clean. Well, as I said who cares? If this new fella starts harassing me – he will go the way all her other puppets have – thrown to the curb by Joan when the heat gets turned up.
some facebook remarks by Gert and me —
Gert: as I said in some tweets…Joan in her hysteria does NOT help our mother’s soul. Joan is a drama queen always looking for attention…She’s been in ‘seclusion’ BECAUSE she’s got a new MAN, she picked up at a bar…that’s where they all come from. Last june she met ‘the love of her life’ in a bar…when to NM and found out he was a drunk, she was lamenting online in January of THIS YEAR about him and here it’s MARCH and she’s GOT ANOTHER SUCKER, who left a nasty comment on a blog post of mine! He’s going to be another Russ and Brian.
Joan has NO sense of the divine, she refuses to acknowledge her tiny self in the vast universe and until she does she will ALWAYS have these mental sicknesses and mental disturbances that cause her sadness and grief. Sorry…her kind of grief is NOT grief…it’s attention getting. Joan was NOT the only child who’s MOTHER DIED. Remember those that have passed over with fondness…NOT with exploitation means…Joan knows nothing about TRUE honoring of one’s parents.
Ruth: why o why can Joan not post pictures of mom, like I did, and just leave it at that? she can’t – cos she’s a perpetual garbage mouth.
A letter I wrote to Joan Wheeler, 10 years before her book came out- warning her not use my name or picture – and the bitch did it anyway. March 26, 2014Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, Disrespect, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity, whining
I just found a gem of a letter that I wrote to Joan in April 1999 – to answer the bitch’s letter to me in February 1999 that my then fiancé (now husband) John got the next door neighbor pregnant. Pay close attention to the paragraph that I highlighted in bold – I told her back in 1999 that she did not have permission to use my name or likeness in her book – 10 years later, in 2009, she may have changed my name, but she left plenty of clues as to my name AND USED MY PICTURE ON THE BACK OF HER BOOK – and that is why her book got pulled from publication.
Ms. Joan Wheeler
1 C Drive,
Kenmore, New York 14223
April 20, 1999,
My Dear Joni,
I think that there a couple of things that need to be clarified. First, the notion that you have that I am wallowing in bitterness and negativity regarding the death of my mother and your existence.
I do not nor have I ever blamed you for Mom’s death. When we found you I was truly happy. And to this day there are times I truly miss you. I miss the good times we had going to the beach, and two or three years ago, when Channel 17 showed a Moody Blues concert I thought that it would have been great watching it with you. I cried because I couldn’t.
I don’t know why you tend to get things mixed up. The first time I called you (the famous “bowling” call), it was at 2 P.M. from a dental office in the Brisbane Building that Gert worked at. It was a Tuesday. The dentist Gert worked for always took Tuesday afternoons off, but Gert had clerical work to do. I was neither drunk, nor panicky when I called you, and I did not end the call with a bunch of giggles. I remember practically every word I said to you as if I had just placed the call five minutes ago.
And yes, I did not take very good care of Mom’s wedding dress in the beginning. But you did not return it by throwing it at my feet and yelling at me. And the year you returned it was 1983, not 1978. And I never got the beads back. So if I originally did not take good care of the dress, you also had a hand in “disrespecting” it.
Where did you get the idea that my grandfather molested and murdered his first born son Richard? Who told you that? If anyone did, they are lying. Richard died of diptheria.
And the idea that my father molested us? Where does this stuff come from? Let me set you straight right here and now, MY FATHER DID NOT MOLEST ME OR MY SISTERS. Kathy kicked him in the balls because that is the most effective place to kick a guy. And that was because Dad stormed into our bedroom with his “Big Daddy” routine. Kathy was getting dressed. She had on slacks and was starting to put on her blouse and yelled at Dad because he saw her in her bra. He yelled back at her “I made you, I can look at you. Now get downstairs and clean up that mess.” Dad was too mad to be thinking about her boobs!
The evening before, our brother Butch was on the phone with his friend George. Kathy came in and wanted to use the phone. Butch said no, cause the last time she said it was important, she ended up calling her girlfriend Pat and told her some new gossip about the Beatles. This time, Butch refused to give up the phone. Kathy reached over and tried to hang up the hook on the wall phone. Butch got up and the next thing you know, the two of them were going at it. John and I were watching from the dining room, George heard it over the phone. Dishes were broken, food ended up on the floor. Then Kathy stormed out of the house. Shortly afterwards, Butch left too, leaving me and John with the mess. Which of course, we did not touch. When Dad came home, we told him what happened and when the guilty parties came home, they were told that they were going to get up the next morning at 6:00 and clean it up. And sure enough, 6:00 the next morning (a Saturday), Dad came upstairs and woke Kathy up. She got up, went to the bathroom and came back upstairs. She was taking her time getting dressed, I could hear Dad downstairs yelling at her to get down there and clean the mess up. I didn’t see him, but Butch tells me that at this point, he was already in the kitchen cleaning. Kathy kept dawdling, Dad was getting madder and madder and that’s when he came up to our room.
Since you were raised as an only child, the above scenario would seem alien to you. But it happens all the time when you get brothers and sisters together. Real life ain’t like The Brady Bunch. I remember our cousins Gail and Norman going at it too! And since I spent so much time there, I was involved in a few brawls with them. One time Aunt Catherine broke in the bathroom door after Gail locked herself in to avoid a thrashing.
It is my understanding that you plan to use my true name and photograph in your book. Well, I am hereby serving you notice that if you do, and you keep that reference of me being drunk when I called, you will be served with a lawsuit for invading my privacy and portraying me as a drunk. You do not nor have ever had my permission to use my name or like ness. And you had better not even of publishing that garbage about my grandfather and father. I don’t like it one bit when I find that strangers are reading that my grand father is a murderer and my father is a molestor. There is no truth to these “speculations” of yours and that is just what they are-speculations of your warped mind.
You were hopping mad when two doctors wrote an article about your daughter’s medical condition in a medical journal, claiming that your privacy was invaded. You want YOUR privacy protected, but what about Gert and Kathy’s privacy? It is up to THEM to tell anyone about their childhood NOT YOU! And what about MY privacy? Who gave you the right to send a “detailed family history” (your version of it) to Commissioner Deborah Merrifield of Social Services? Where was MY privacy when you wrote to the Director of Patient Accounts of Buffalo General Hospital and told him MY personal medical history and MY marital status? What do those two things have to do with YOUR erroneous hospital bill? And where do you get off repeatedly calling my place of employment trying to get me fired? Your phone calls were described to me as “bizarre.” I told everyone, “Of course they’re bizarre, they’re coming from a bizarre person.”
And of course your scheme to break me and John up certainly didn’t work. What did you think to accomplish when you dragged his mother in it? My future mother-in-law sees you for what you are-a trouble-making idiot.
I must hand it to you though, you gave it a good try by calling child abuse on yourself and naming my fiance as the perpetrator, hoping that I would get blamed for the call. Your mistake was that you went overboard by writing letters to the mayor of Buffalo, and other elected officials. I simply sat back and watched you hang yourself. I don’t need to do anything to you, you seem quite capable of digging your own grave.
A relationship of any kind is two-way, not one-way, and that way being YOUR way whether we like it or not. Your attitude has always been, “This is how it will be. Take it or leave it.” And that is exactly what I and so many others have done. We chose not to take it, and left. How many friendships have you destroyed throughout the years? Well, you can add two more to the ever growing list of people who cared about you, had enough of your bullshit and lies, and have broken off their friendship to you. Those being my fiance John and your friend on Balzac Court. No, I did not “badmouth” you, nor did I tell you to put her address on a bullshit letter you sent to my house. You destroyed that friendship all by yourself. Again, you are own worst enemy. And that is the real reason our reunion went sour, not because of some complex psychological feelings of guilt and shame from our dysfunctional childhood, nor feelings of jealousy that you had a secure home growing up while we did not. We simply grew tired of putting up with your rotten behavior. Your behavior is unacceptable and can not and will not be tolerated. Your behavior has cost you the very thing you wanted-your birth family. And don’t try to get yourself off the hook by saying that it wasn’t you who initiated the search, but that it was Gert and me who brought you something you did not want. You had already made the conscious decision when you turned 18, to search for your birth family. You wanted us just as much as we wanted you. It truly is a shame that our lost sister, despite growing up in a stable home environment did not learn the moral values that we did. I am not saying that I’m Miss Goody Two-Shoes. I’ve done a lot of stuff in my life, but nothing compared to your evil plotting, lies, and thefts. I’d bet Shadya is happy that she had to contend with me and Fran and not you. Anything that we did to Shadya pales in comparison to what you have done. We never once called her job and tried to get her fired, or frame her so that she would get arrested or hauled into court on some bullshit “harassment” charges. And we never made off with 900 bucks of hers!
I especially love the time when after I told you in December 1990 that I wanted nothing more to do with you, you had the nerve to call and leave a message on my answering machine saying that money shouldn’t come between sisters. YOU who had only worked a few temporary jobs, and those not very hard ones either are going to lecture ME about MY hard-earned money! I bust my ass at my job. Many times I have to drag myself home on the bus with my feet and back killing me. I have pulled my back out 4 times and in June of 1997, I was out on disability because I was assaulted (kicked in the neck) by a confused patient. And the money you STOLE was not even my money. I had borrowed that money from the credit card, and had to work my ass off to pay it back, going with out a car, because YOU helped yourself to the money to fix YOUR car. When my car broke, I did not have the money to fix it, all my paychecks went to pay back the bank for the borrowed $900.00 you stole. And when dear old Uncle John got laid off, and we did not have the money to pay our electric bill, they shut our electricity off. I called you to beg you for some money-THE MONEY YOU STOLE FROM ME-and you kept hanging up on me, then LIED and said that I hung up on you!
Then used that lie to press bullshit harassment charges on me. This is how you treat your sister that you “love” and your “dear” friend and “uncle” John to your children, a “member of your family.” Remember, HIS electricity was turned off too, and the years we went without a car and could not buy another because I was paying off a debt that I shouldn’t have had to, I was out in the cold waiting for buses too. But you don’t care about that do you? You only care about JONI’S discomfort and JONI’S happiness and to hell with everyone else!
And then you start the bullshit again last month by lovingly informing me that my fiance got my next door neighbor pregnant and they had a baby girl in June 1994. Well, the only two newborns from that house in the past ten years were BOYS. The first, D.J.,born in 1992, looks exactly like his Dad, Danny. The second, Jesse, was born in 1995. I was working the night he was born, and I held him at 5:00 in the morning, just hours after his birth. Charlene and I were oohing and aahing over his little pee-pee. I guarantee, Jesse was a BOY not a girl. Did you really think that John would remain your friend after you told such a lie about him? Open mouth and insert foot, Joni.
I was recently informed that some time ago, you tried to engage a “hitman” to kill me. What a sweet loving sister you are! This is how you show that you love me? In the letters you sent me in the beginning of March you say that you love me, yet you threaten my life? Could this possibly be the reason why I don’t like you? Go ahead, whine some more that me and my sisters don’t like you. To quote you from your letter dated March 1999, “For some reason you don’t like me.” Yeah, I really like people who threaten my life. I’m such a masochist, what can I say? I like people who steal close to $900.00 from me and tell lies about me. NOT!
I have already informed the District Attorney about the threat you made against my life. They can’t do anything at the present time, because it is only hearsay. But they are well aware of your threat, your harassing letters to me and other people, your attitude to various police agencies, and your false claims of having an arrest warrant for our cousin, (????), lies about me being convicted of harassment, of me being placed on probation, and you having an Order of Protection against me. I was NOT convicted or placed on probation. If you’re so smart, provide me with the name of my “probation officer.” You can’t come up with a name because I was never placed on probation. The judge merely told me to leave you alone for six months as a condition of dismissal. I left you alone, and the case against me was summarily dis- missed. The judge did give you an Order of Protection and the district attorney’s office did not like it one bit that YOU called MY house, two months after the judge told me to leave you alone. As usual, Joan does what SHE wants to do. You get the judge to tell me to leave YOU alone, but then you think that you can turn around and call and bother ME.
And since you don’t have an Order of Protection against me, I can drive down any street I want. Who died and left you boss, telling me I can’t drive on certain streets. I don’t know how you or your son “saw” me driving past your house since I did not have a car. I do now, and I’ll drive where I damn well please. Unless you bought the car or pay for the insurance and maintainence, you have no say on where I drive my car.
Oh, by the way, I was investigated by the district attorneys last month in conjunction to my complaint against you. I found out about it from someone I’m close to. I wel- come investigations, because I don’t break the law or make an idiot of myself like you do. I have nothing to hide. If I were you, I’d pray that nothing suspicious ever happens to me or John, because you will be the first person the district attorney will question. In closing let me thank you for providing me with an ad- dress last month that proved very rewarding to me. The gods above are indeed looking out for me. A couple of years after you and Colby made off with the $900, I was still fussing. John’s cousin Chuckie told me “Let it go. You’ll get the money back another way.” And I did. I hit the lottery twice, once with the three digit, and once with the four digit daily numbers for a total of $900.00. I also got a couple of hun- dred dollars from the scratch-off tickets. (I still have the payout receipts). And now, nine years later, I have been rewarded again with two things that I have been wanting a long time. My thanks to you because without the letters you sent me in March, they would not have come to be. YOU pro-vided the means by which I profited.
Goodbye, from your sister who truly does love and miss you, but realizes that your moral values are so different from mine, that we can never have a relationship again. Ruth
ps. I have the guts to put my name on a letter that I write. If you don’t have the courage and honor to sign your name and stand by what you say, then don’t bother saying it. But then again, since it was all a bunch of lies, it’s no wonder you were ashamed to put your name to it. You have proven again and again that you are nothing but a thief and a liar. As to the old saying “How do you sleep at night?” Well, maybe all the “anxiety attacks” that cause you to wake up at night screaming is really your conscience bothering you. I, on theother hand sleep very soundly. And very soundly indeed.
pps. When a “woman professional” (since when, you don’t even have a job, let alone a profession), writes a letter of complaint to a another woman professional, she doesn’t call her a bitch and tell her that she (the recipient of the complaint) almost got slapped in the face. That simply is just not done. It is most unseemly. Oh, now I get your profession! Professional student and welfare slob. You’ve only been going to school for the last twenty years. Your other job must be professional troublemaker and liar.
Now act like the spoiled little brat that you are and call up Daddy and whine: “Daaaddy, Ruth wrote me a leeetter, Daaaddy.” “I”m gonna tell Daddy on you Ruth, NYAH, NYAH” To quote you: “ACT YOUR AGE!”
Go ahead, whine some more at me “you don’t like me.”
NOTE from Gert…
see my post about letter exchange I had with Joan
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, false accusations, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, STUPIDITY STUPIDITY STUPIDITY
I haven’t been to my blogs for a couple of weeks. I’ve been having problems with my primary hotmail email. And I’m not the only one. – You should read some of the posts people have been putting on Outlook’s (Hotmail’s alternate name) facebook page. – Apparently they added a new security feature, and they didn’t program it correctly. When I first couldn’t get into my primary email, I was afraid that my account had been hacked. It turned out it hadn’t been, it was the programmer’s doing some bullshit. And the problem is still there. Four days ago, I got a message via my secondary email account from “Jennifer” and she says they are giving my complaint “the highest priority.” – and here it is – four days later and I see where my account was really given the “hightest priority.” roflmao! There is a way to bypass their stupid added screen – but you have to go thru SIX different screens to get to your inbox! So now I have to go thru the tedious job of clearing out an account that I have had for years – and transfer things over to a new email that I have set up. – dam you Hotmail.
Anyway – I want to bring up some old business from January 2013 about Joan Wheeler. I blogged about the topic of hacked accounts in my blog post of January 14, 2013 – “Joan Wheeler falsely accuses me of something I didn’t do – YET AGAIN – this time of hacking into somebody’s Twitter account”
Here is a couple of sentences from that blog post:
A couple of weeks ago, a woman who follows Joan or is followed by Joan on twitter, had her account hacked. The hacker then sent a spam to Joan Wheeler via a direct Twitter message.
Joan then says on Twitter to this woman, S.Y. – Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily to @slyoung50 Hi! Received a Direct Mess from you about a link; it was spam. I s your accounthacked? IF you get spammed by my sisters, tell me”
See, whenever something goes wrong in Joan’s life – SHE AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMES IT WAS ME THEN GOES PUBLIC WITH HER STUPID RIDICULOUS ASSUMPTIONS AND ACCUSES ME OF SHIT I DIDN’T DO!
In contrast, when I first began having problems with my email, and was frightened that my email had been hacked – I contacted microsoft (who oversees hotmail and outlook email services) to report the problem and request assistance. I DID NOT FALSELY ACCUSE ANYONE OF HACKING INTO MY ACCOUNT. – by the way, the title of this blog post is for shock value and to get your attention. I know damn well Joan did NOT hack into my email – but I want her to know what it feels like to be minding your own business and then find out you’ve been accused of doing something you didn’t do. – I mean, I’ll be sleeping and when I wake up, I go on the internet and find out that I did this or that – WHILE I’VE BEEN SLEEPING.
Gods, I wish someone would cut Joan’s tongue out cut off her hands so she can’t type – I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF BEING ACCUSED OF DOING THINGS I HAVEN’T DONE. – Joan – just shut your fucking mouth!
Gert here… like the title of this post! Shock value has a purpose! If Joan can do so can we! Joan has this nasty habit of accusing people of things they never dreamed of doing! The last time I spoke with Joan, via phone, was sometime in 2005 or so, BECAUSE I wanted to end the negative feelings between us. I didn’t have her phone #, I asked my father to phone her! She spoke nicely to me, told me about her life etc, said she LOVED me. But…it was all an act on her part. In the libelous book she wrote and published in Dec 2009 she said that I WAS FISHING FOR INFORMATION FROM HER and how DISGUSTED she was that I called her AND how SHE KNEW BETTER THAN TO TRUST ME. Yep, watch out if you have ANY kind of dealings with Joan Wheeler…she makes shit up in her head!
lol. right Gert – I remember the time she went after our cousin Ray – she went to have her windshield fixed and the two of them got to talking and Ray invited her to his house for dinner (because she’s his long-lost cousin, that sort of thing). Well, when his aunt, our cousin Gail, found out – she told Ray all the harassments that Joan was doing to me and her and basically told Ray to stay away from Joan. And he started distancing himself from Joan. Now, I’m getting on with MY life, and I’m not knowing a dam thing as to what the hell was going on – and all of a sudden, I get this fucking letter from Joan (what part of DO NOT CONTACT ME JOAN, didn’t she get?) – anyway, in this letter she says, “I know that you and Gail and Ray and Fran are plotting against me.” I’m thinking “what the hell is this about? I haven’t seen Ray for YEARS! And with both Gail and me working night shift, I haven’t talked to Gail for a long time. So I call Fran up and tell her to come over. We’re eating lunch, and I’m reading Fran this stupid ridiculous letter – and when I got to the part that she’s been named as a co-conspirator, she actually choked on her food – and when she could talk, she said, “but — but — I never even met your cousin Ray.” This is what Gert means when she says about Joan: “She makes shit up in her head.” PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE – WOULD SOMEBODY PERFORM A LOBOTOMY ON JOAN WHEELER????
And what was the outcome of Ray’s distancing himself from Joan – she went after him – she called his boss and lied that he did a bad job on her windshield – she LIED TO HIS BOSS TO GET HIM IN TROUBLE ON HIS JOB! JUST LIKE SHE’S BEEN DOING TO ME – SHE HAS CALLED MY JOB SEVERAL TIMES WITH FALSE ACCUSATIONS AND LIES IN EFFORTS TO GET ME FIRED. JOAN WHEELER IS A FLAT-OUT BITCH, TROUBLEMAKER AND A LIAR AND ONE DAY HER SHIT IS GOING TO COME TO HER AND GET HER.
Lesson for Joan Wheeler – lying about people won’t make you happy. February 7, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, LIBEL, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths
It’s impossible to build one’s own happiness on the unhappiness of others.
So true. So what did you think to accomplish when you published that filthy book full of lies Joan? Yes, you accomplished SOMETHING – you hurt me again and again. Every time I turned a page and read another filthy lie about me – I actually was walking in circles in my kitchen crying when I read your twisting of facts, your put-downs of me being a prospective mother, your disgusting stabbing me in the back twenty years after I got over the initial anger of your dirty deeds to me –
BUT what else did it get you? Your biggest dream (actually an unrealistic fantasy) was that your book was going to be a million dollar best seller and either a TV movie or a Hollywood blockbuster book was going to made of your book – and you would be set for life.
And because you blatantly lied about events in MY life – and I had documented proof of those lies (actual police and court documents, your own harassing letters to me and the envelopes they came in) – YOUR LIES WERE EXPOSED.
Proof of your lies – libel – was sent to the publisher and your book was pulled.
You said once on an internet forum, about two years, ago, that you “wasted 30 years of my life writing a book.” That’s right honey, you did. But you got part of that wrong – you didn’t waste 30 years of your life writing a book – you wasted 30 years of your life TRYING TO KILL OTHER PEOPLE’S HAPPINESS!
What did you think to accomplish when you were harassing me? Did you honestly think my relationship with John would go down the tubes when you sent that lying letter to me saying he got the next door neighbor pregnant? What really happened is that when I showed him the letter – he was disgusted with you. You always claimed you honored him as friend. HA! Well that’s one friend who hates you now.
What did you think to accomplish when you repeatedly called my job in 1994-95 with false accusations of me? And did it again in November 2012? Did you really think I would get fired? – HA! Not only was I NOT fired (because I am innocent of your bullshit lies), but my job now knows you as a freak – a crackpot who has nothing better to do with her time than lie about innocent people.
One other thing that was accomplished Joan – when the truth of your lies were exposed by this blog and Gert’s blog – YOUR REPUTATION IN THE ADOPTION REFORM ACTIVIST COMMUNITY IS NOW SEVERELY COMPROMISED.
And you have only yourself to blame. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you pick up the phone and call my job. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you sent me that lying letter about John. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you type out all those lies in your book.
YOU DID ALL THAT BY YOURSELF. ARE YOU HAPPY JOAN? NO? aww, too bad.
Gert here…yep…Joan’s lies and dirty deeds have become apparent to even those in the adoption reform movement! TRUTH always out wins lies! Joan should have learned how to ‘bury the bodies’ when she decided to KILL HER KIN FOLK! Oh sure, she led a great charge against her kin, when we first learned of her, 30 years in the making, masterpiece! Where’s all those angry adoptees today? Not by Joan’s side. There been a couple of new books on the adoption topics these days and none of them INCLUDE Joan Wheeler! Even the most vocal of the activists do not want to share the printed venue with Joan! She’s now trying to break into a new field…online therapy! Yep! good luck on that!
Gert here again… I was just reading some blog posts and found a comment that Joan left about Joe Soll! Okay Joe just FOUND his mother! Great news, that’s nice for him, but Joan, takes any opportunity for someone else’s spot light to pour out her bullshit that means nothing! In that lying book Joan wrote she USED Joe Soll. I had email exchange with the man and he DENIED what she wrote in the book, we have blogged about this…YET Joan acts as if she is CLEAN… here’s the comment she left…with ALL HER usual misspellings, she can’t even honor her friends with checking her spelling! Her sweetness makes me want to puke! Anyone who can do shit, like she did to her own KIN, and then speak false sweetness and false ‘peace’ to strangers, only proves to the world what a fool she is.
@forbiddenfamily · 2 weeks ago Back then, in the late 80s, Jow began organizing the Marches on Washington. I was there fro three of them. Saddens me that he could have met his mother at the time. So sorry for that loss. But very happy indeed for the wonderful news of NOW! releived for the man who helped so many of us. Knowing you, dear friend, has meant so much for me. May you now know some inner peace.
and have you ever noticed that Joan always talks about the 70s, 80s, 90s she is a HAS BEEN! She has DONE NOTHING IN RECENT HISTORY or currently, cause she’s a liar!
In this post – we show Mr. Joe Soll’s email to Gert, in which he says “I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/”
AdoptionHealing.com – AdoptionCrossroads.org – EvilExchange.com” To: Gert Mcqueen Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM Subject: Re: fact finding request, please I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.
here is Joe’s entire email, in which he had copied and pasted Gert’s question and provided an answer:
From: “Joe Soll, LCSW – AdoptionHealing.com – AdoptionCrossroads.org – EvilExchange.com” To: Gert Mcqueen
Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM Subject: Re: fact finding request, please
I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.
Also, in her book, Joan relays a phone conversation with you, pg 311, regarding these alleged letters in which she writes that you did indeed receive them and that you had spoken with Joan about them
(Joe answers): This is patently false.
If you do not have access to her book, but wish to see the pages I am referring, I would gladly snail you copies if you would provide me an address. My sisters and I would greatly apprecitate it if you could shed light on this for us and yourself.
(Joe answers): I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/
Feel free to contact me further
Be well, 조살
So, MISS BIG-SHOT ADOPTION REFORMER JOAN WHEELER, WHO FANTASIZED THAT HER BOOK WAS GOING TO BE A REVOLUTION IN THE ADOPTION REFORM COMMUNITY DOESN’T EVEN GET HER BOOK SEEN BY ONE OF THOSE ADOPTION EXPERTS!
to reiterate what Mr. Joe Soll said about her book:
“I do not need to see the book,”
that means, that when he sent that email, May 2010, he had not seen the book yet, nor would he ever, because he was made aware that Joan LIED about him in the book. And he will NEVER see it, because it is dead – having been pulled from publication because of the LIES Joan put in it.
Joan Wheeler deserves NO respect – because she gives no respect February 6, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, dishonesty, emotional abuse, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, stupidity, theft
If you want the details of Joan stealing money from me – see this post:
After Joan stole the money from me, the bitch says to me on the phone: “money shouldn’t come between sisters.”
Um, bitch –
THEFT IS WHAT CAME BETWEEN US –
LACK OF RESPECT OF RUTH IS WHAT CAME BETWEEN US
LYING TO AND ABOUT RUTH IS WHAT CAME BETWEEN US.
FUCK YOU JOAN WHEELER – ROT IN HELL.
now go whine to your adoptee buddies how I swear at you on my blog. And how “innocent” you are. How do you sleep at night bitch?
Gert here…Joan is a first class hypocrite. She’s apparently trying to impress a new crowd as she ventures into the realm of on-line therapy! But, she can NEVER remove her past from her presence! There’s a lot of things that ‘shouldn’t come between sisters’…like her VIOLATING my parental rights, like VIOLATING my children’s trust in their parents, like her reporting false child abuse on me, like her seeing my religious is damaging my mental health, like her attempting to instigate trouble between myself and other family members, like her asking my adult daughter to commit a crime, like her saying to me she ‘loves me’ all the while knowing how she was going to write about that phone call in the book, and like her WRITING a 600 page book of lies against EVERY MEMBER OF THE BIRTH FAMILY. Yep, Joan is right…THINGS should not come between sisters…she isn’t a sister of ours.
Tags: abuse, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, embellishing the truth, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, misrepresenting one's credentials, misrepresenting one's employment, Narcissistic personality disorder, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity
What’s the REAL reason Joan Wheeler is going back to the boyfriend from New Mexico?
She says on twitter it’s because he needs her. And she wants to “save” him by getting him to the proper therapy. Oh yeah, right. Like she knows what the proper therapy is. She’s been in therapy for more than 30 years and it hasn’t worked on her.
She also devoted a whole chapter in her stupid book on another abusive boyfriend – she was terrorized to be with him because he was violent – yet she stayed with him because she was trying to “save him from his drinking problems and get him into the proper therapy.” Sound familiar? That was back in 2007 and she failed with him. AND despite him saying specifically to her that he did not want to be in her book, she put him in it as a revenge. AFTER her attempts to save him failed.
So she’s got another guy to save? BULLSHIT. She’s the one who NEEDS him!
In the early fall of 2012, she was on the internet whining that she needed to find a boarder to “save her house from foreclosure.” She found one. He lasted two weeks. The guy actually contacted me via facebook private message to tell me that she is nuts. (thanks, man, I know that already).
So fast forward to the other day, she tweets that a “friend” of hers, “C.” is facing homelessness, and she took her downtown to apply for HEAP. um, BULLSHIT! If you’re facing homelessness, you don’t need HEAP – HEAP helps pay your HOME’S heating bill. If you’re not going to have a HOME, you ain’t gonna need it.
Last night, while she’s tweeting about the latest chapter in The Joni Soap Opera, she’s asking people to keep “C.” in their prayers.
UM, JOAN – YOU GOT THAT BIG HOUSE TO YOURSELF – WHY DON’T YOU PROVIDE “C.” WITH A HOME???? You’re so smart as to how the system works – big ass social worker that you are – you know what programs she can apply for. And YOU can get help for your mortgage and save your house from being foreclosed.
Listen, people, there is no “C.” – it is Joan herself who is facing homelessness. That’s why she NEEDS the boyfriend. So that his SS check can help pay her mortgage. Just last week, she’s bitching about him being a creep, a drunk, a convicted drunk driver, she spent 5 days in a homeless shelter in Taos, New Mexico while he was in jail over the summer, he’s a stalker, a cyberstalker and cyberbully – he showed violent tendencies while she was with him – and now all of a sudden, she’s wanting to resume their relationship so she can find the proper therapy for him. What she’s trying to do is convince him to come back to Buffalo, move in with her, and use his check to pay her mortgage.
How do I know this? Because she stole hundreds of dollars from me in 1989, and tried to extort $$$ from another sister in 1992. She’s a user and an abuser. This guy would do well to stay the hell away from her. She can’t help him – she’s so messed up in her own head she can’t help even help herself! She’s a manic depressive! She’s never held a job for even ONE DAY as a social worker. She’s a sociopath and a psychopath. She needs to be committed.
*if anyone reading this is wondering how do I dare write about Joan’s personal life – Joan wrote a filthy slanderous book with things in it about MY personal life – and lied about it. As to why I’m writing about this boyfriend, if anyone is thinking how is this my business? – Joan MADE it my business when she brought him to Family Court in July 2013 when I had her in court for harassment charges. She MADE him my business when she brought him to my godmother’s wake and funeral and she MADE him my business when she was tweeting about he isn’t on twitter but I am and I am “cyberstalking” her like he is.
Gert here! right on Ruth…what this guy NEEDS to do is READ a copy of Joan’s book, I’m sure she’s got a copy there! He needs to read what Joan has said and done to other boyfriends she’s tried to save! Or better yet, this guy ought to read our blogs, for we not only tell the truth we QUOTE Joan’s words. Joan also tried in 2009 to get our father to; paid for her car repairs and publish the book! I just placed a blog post about this stuff YESTERDAY! Our father’s widow told me that when Joan was ‘taking’ her grocery shopping, Joan would put items in the cart that SHE WANTED and NEVER offered to pay for them. She told step-mother, she didn’t have money. Finally, they refused to allow Joan to take them shopping, Ruth is also correct about HEAP, no address, no money! And at this time of the year, unless there is an emergency HEAP’s money is GONE. And who is the male friend of Joan’s that had to fly in cold weather? Is it the same friend who spend weekend ‘relaxing’ with Joan, as she told on twitter? doesn’t she KNOW that you don’t put your private shit on the internet? what if the guy in NM finds out? Oh I forgot, she doesn’t want me near her! sure, right! mark my words… he’ll get in a program and swear that he’ll behave himself and she’ll allow him to visit and help around the house and then before you know it…HE is paying for her and her house…fools!!
Joan Wheeler goes from manic state to depressive state awful fast over her latest FAILED romance. December 31, 2013Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental instability, passing assumptions off as truth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, whining
Joan Wheeler goes from manic state to depressive state awful fast over her latest FAILED romance. – all information and quotes are from what Joan Wheeler herself has put out on public internet for all to see. remember – if you don’t want people to read it – don’t put it on the internet.
SEE END OF THIS POST FOR UPDATED INFO
In a mess that SHE herself created, Joan first rants and raves about a guy she met at a bar back in June 2013. Within two weeks, marriage plans are made. What stupid idiot meets a guy and within two weeks makes plans to marry this total stranger? Joan Wheeler, that’s who. So she goes to New Mexico with the guy in August and the truth comes out. He’s an alcoholic (so is Joan, but she won’t say so in conjuction with this stuff – but did admit to it in her book), he got caught driving drunk and was thrown in jail for 30 days, (my, my, my), his family decided to do some background checking on Joan (wise move considering we’ve got two people who within 2 weeks of meeting want to get married – doesn’t matter if he’s 63 and she’s 57 – they are both thinking like 13 year olds), the family apparently googled her, came to this blog and saw the truth about her – then so did he. Apparently there were words between everybody, and Joan came home, and cried all through September.
Last week, her website got a hit from New Mexico. Never mind that there are tons of people living in New Mexico and any one of them could have gone to her website, and never mind that Gert has personal friends living in New Mexico and it could have been them – Joan sees the hit, ASS-umes that it’s the boyfriend and/or his family and goes off on a bitch fest – a real rockin’ psychopathic rant! Insults the guy – mocking him for his PTSD (and using the tired old stereotype of the crazy Vietnam Veteran – for shame, Joan) AND DRAGS ME AND GERT IN ON IT. (but she’s always bitching that we won’t stay out of her life – and when we are not – she drags us into it!). I say ASS-ume because when you assume something without real evidence, all you do is make an ASS out of yourself – which is what Joan does all the time. She sees or reads something, and right away ASS-umes things about people.
Here are blog posts that Gert and I did about this mess that Joan HERSELF created:
SOOOO after all that ranting and our blogging, Joan read Gert’s blog and sees Gert’s statement: “DOES Joan have any positive things going into her life? She never tells us anything that is positive in what she does. Nothing about good eating, sleeping, exercise, meditations, readings, etc…she boring! Once in a while is posts some feel good quote, but she doesn’t live it!”
And knowing that Gert takes Zumba classes (my, are we STALKING Gert now, Joan?) Joan all of a sudden says that she’s “getting healthy, being more positive, is thankful for her female friends and taking Zumba classes).
In the evening of December 30, 2013, she’s on the downside of manic depression – she’s on a downer, and lamenting the loss of her latest romance. I didn’t see the garbage until I woke up about 11:30am December 31, 2013. The time frame that Joan wrote her latest stuff – I was busy with my life – doing housework, then watching the special features on the DVD of John Carpenter’s The Fog. (btw, Joan put me down in her book because I collect movies. So? Who the hell is she to comment on how I spend my $$ or my life? She does so, because her life is so miserable, she looks at me and sees my full life, and she can’t have it, so must debase it).
And I can comment on Joan’s life and this mess because SHE DRAGGED ME INTO IT. SHE DELIBRATELY WROTE A TWEET ABOUT THIS FUCKED UP SITUATION THAT CONTAINED A REFERENCE TO HER BIRTH SISTERS (me and Gert). Therefore, we EARNED the right to write about it.
So I get up and meander over to twitter to see what’s up with a couple of tweets I had exchanged with Luke Evans (Bard the Bowman) – o gods! not only is Ruth collecting movies, she’s communicating with people who are acting in them! Quick now! Get the noose and string Ruth up!
So I see what Joan writes and I wanted to puke. I then go over to facebook and see that Gert also had seen it and this is what we say about the pukey shit:
facebook exchanges: from Gert to Ruth Herr Sippel Pace the idiot is crying in her beer…around midnight she says..
Deep pain in knowing it is over. My love. New Year will be better for us both. I release you, my love. Good bye my Darling. May you find your true love. She lies within. I move on
after all that ranting and raving and saying she’s DONE and getting on with her life and he was a loser…this is so typical of Joan Wheeler!
from Gert Mcqueen so I added a comment on the blog post and incorporated Ruth’s comment and mine into the body of that post and retweeted it…I can’t believe it, YES I can cause this is HOW joan operates, she doesn’t get her way, she throws fits, gets kicked in the face, bitches and screams cause no one loves her, she rants and raves that they are bad and mean to her, then she gets sympathy from others and says oh I’m ok and then in the dark of the night she crys for what she lost asshole
from Ruth Herr Sippel Pace omy god I want to puke with the saccharine fakeness of it all.
and notice now how she’s going out of her way to list different world cultural dances that she’s learning in Zumba class. She’s reacing out to her birthsisters again, albeit in a round-about way. As you noted yesterday, how she’s obviously reading the blogs – after bitching and raving, her tweets turn 180 degrees on how she’s getting healthy and going to Zumba – a clear IMITATION of you. Now, the “world culture” dances – a clear imitation of ME. Because of my past experiences of being a Middle East (belly dancer). She never cared about dance before – only her Native American dances she did as a teenager and in early 20s. And don’t forget – she put me down in her book FOR being interested in the Arab culture. Now SHE is “embracing” other cultures. What a fucking hypocrite!
she goes from calling him a “stalking obsessed creep” to ” My love. New Year will be better for us both. I release you, my love. Good bye my Darling. May you find your true love. She lies within. I move on” – she said she “moved on” the other day – if that was so – she shouldn’t be going back to write this stupid shit.
Gert Mcqueen yep…I WAS DOING zumba 3 years ago! I had to stop due to medicals reasons and turned to biking instead…but I NEVER mentioned that ONLY my yoga, bike, gym…which she NEVER picked up until just now BECAUSE I made a point of saying she’s boring, unhealthy and never speaks about what good in her life. And if she loved native dance WHY hasn’t she been doing it all along? If you love something, you DO IT. she only talked about it because of the SUGAR DADDY like I said, she was crying in her beer…that’s what she does…she can’t get her way, throws a fit, the other person tells her get lost, she gets insulted, finds things to bitch about and then says she’s done with them, and then when the night is dark and she’s alone she laments her LOSS that she created.
end of facebook exchange.
I am not only wanting to puke, but I see the hypocrisy of it all – having been dragged over the coals in her book for MY interest in other ethnic music and dance – to see this bitch now saying it’s the best thing in HER life! As I said above – she looks at her miserable life, finds it lacking, then looks at MY life, debases it – YET COPIES ME! And Gert!
Now I want to examine this statement made by Gert: “then she gets sympathy from others and says oh I’m ok and then in the dark of the night she crys for what she lost asshole” – when she was ranting and bitching about the boyfriend on Twitter, she made statements that she was “afraid of him.” “leave me alone.” called him a “stalking creep” “obsessive” – and a twitter friend of hers up in Toronto says, “been reading your feed, are you okay?” this lady sees what Joan writes and becomes genuinely concerned for Joan’s safety! And what does Joan say? “oh, I’m all right. He’s 2500 miles away.”
WHAT THE FUCK? If she’s “all right” and he’s “2500 miles away” WHY IS SHE WRITING THAT SHE IS AFRAID OF HIM? This is what she does – she EXAGERATES things and puts her whiny little “woe is me, poor, poor pitiful me” routine and manipulates people into feeling sorry for her. So LOOK at what she said about the guy – she’s afraid of him, he’s a stalking, obsessive, alcoholic drunk driver, and he’s coming to get her. – and chances are – he’s probably a sweet guy with a drinking problem. But according to Joan – he’s a monster. AND THIS IS WHY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT ME AND GERT ARE BITCHES – BECAUSE THEY READ JOAN’S SHIT AND BECAUSE SHE’S A MASTER MANIPULATER AND LIAR – AND SHE CAN TURN THE TEARS ON AND OFF – THEY CAN’T BELIEVE THAT HER CRYING IS ONLY AN ACT! – People – she’s a socio-path and knows how to turn the waterworks on. And before anybody recommends that she call the police – please – The Town of Tonawanda (where she lives) already are aware of her and her antics.
Before anybody condemns me for “putting down the mentally ill” and lectures me that I “should have compassion,” – been there, done that. Unless you have been the harassed victim of a mentally ill person – you will not understand. see the home page of this blog. and the page What is Demanded of Joan Wheeler.
Don’t judge me for my anger of Joan Wheeler – until you know all the facts and the hell she has put me through and is STILL doing it – by harassing me by calling my employer a year ago with false accusations designed to get me fired – and just the other day by daring to drag me into her fucked up love life.
And again, we see a mess that Joan herself created. Gert and I had nothing to do with this latest boyfriend, yet Joan drags us into it. So we gave it right back to her. We didn’t start it, but we damn sure finished it. We didn’t ask to be in it, but once we were in it – we went all out. And the mess is all on Joan – I don’t want to hear a word from her that we “interfered” with this shit – IT WAS JOAN HERSELF WHO BROUGHT US INTO IT!
1. gertmcqueen –
Gert here…Perfect assessment of the conditions that Joan does to herself and everyone. There’s nothing more for me to say, but…this is the real Joan Wheeler and if you don’t believe us…get in a REAL PERSONAL relationship with her, NOT on the internet, BUT IN REAL TIME AND PLACE, interact with her in the FLESH and within 2 months you will KNOW.
UPDATE January 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version.
end of update info
Joan Wheeler drags me into her f’ed up love life – then bitches about me being in her life. uh, what? December 26, 2013Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, Lies, mental instability, spreading untruths, stupidity, whining
oh brother – here we go again. Despite Joan Wheeler’s lamentations and bitching that we, her birth sisters “interfere” with her life, she keeps dragging us INTO her life.
SEE UPDATE INFO AT END OF THIS POST
In the wee hours of December 26, 2013, – 1:00am to be precise, Joan was on Twitter, going off on her ex-boyfriend. Apparently her website’s locale spotter showed a hit from New Mexico. Where the ex lives. So? It’s the public internet – Joan has a website for the purpose of people reading it. If the ex wants to read her website/blog – well, it’s a damn free country.
So Joan is accusing him of stalking her and she tweets that he should leave her alone, she’s now afraid of him, he is a bad person, she stuck by him when he was in jail, blah blah blah.
THEN she drags US into it. Take a look-see:
And now, you’ll continue to obssess about me. I know you’re not on Twitter. But my stalking sisters are. They’ll make sure you can read this
EXCUSE ME! We don’t even know this guy. And look what she wrote: “I know you’re not on Twitter.” – so, we establish he’s not on Twitter. “But my stalking sisters are.” – yes we are. “They’ll make sure you can read this.” – HOW? she just said he’s NOT on twitter!
so I replied these to that particular tweet:
Ruth Pace @ruthsippelpace
@forbiddenfamily uh – WE DON’T KNOW HIM OR HIS FAMILY – DON’T DRAG US INTO YOUR F’ED UP LOVE LIFE! leave US alone.
Ruth Pace @ruthsippelpace
@forbiddenfamily this tweet – dragging us into your silliness – proves YOU won’t leave US alone.
Ruth Pace @ruthsippelpace
@forbiddenfamily just how will I do that? when I don’t know him, + as you say, he’s not on the internet? why are you dragging me into this?
Ruth Pace @forbiddenfamily
we “MONITOR” you to catch you in stuff just like this: WE DON’T KNOW YOUR EX OR HIS FAMILY, LEAVE US OUT OF IT.
Then she tweets this:
Joan Wheeler @forbiddenfamily
Run scared. I know you will be. Because I Tweet about our breakup? Too bad. No one knows your name. No one. Don’t like being talked about?
and I reply:
Ruth Pace @ruthsippelpace
@forbiddenfamily that’s right – we don’t know him – now leave us OUT of your f’ed up love life! why are you pulling us into it?
By the way – she dragged HIM into MY life – in July, 2013, by dragging this guy to Family Court when I had her up on harassment charges- cos she contacted my job AGAIN with false accusations of computer fraud – trying to get me fired. WHY was he there? This was FAMILY COURT – he had no business, him being a stranger to me – to be where I was – taking care of a FAMILY matter.
So what is going on in this latest chapter of the soap opera, The Joni Show?
It appears a few months ago, she met this dude – and she was gushing all about him on twitter, that he’s half Mexican and half Native American, and because of her “knowledge” and “love” of Native Americans, she’s all starry-eyed.
She knows this guy FOR TWO WEEKS! And they’re making plans to get married! WTF! Where are their brains? So when my godmother dies, she drags this stranger to her funeral. I could only attend the wake, as I had to work the day of the funeral, but he attended both. WHY? He doesn’t know my godmother. Whatever.
At the wake, Joan tells one of my cousins that she is going to go New Mexico for a few weeks. And they have to decide where they will live once they get married.
Now, I laid eyes on this guy twice. Once in the waiting room at court, the second time at the wake. I never spoke to him, nor did I approach him. He seemed quiet, nice. Another cousin told me that he sat with Joan at the church at the funeral, and didn’t really say much.
Which belies this tweet about him:
Joan Wheeler @forbiddenfamily
I should have left that day you freaked out when my aunt died. You made it about your grief over Vietnam, over your Mom’s death in 2010…
He didn’t look like he was freaking out to me.
But dayam – that tweet is sure rotten! As are these:
Joan Wheeler @forbiddenfamily
I comforted you, you creep. I needed comfort, but you demanded I comfort you. I should have kicked you out then.
Joan Wheeler @forbiddenfamily
But my aunt died in early August. Instead of comforting me, you attacked me. Lunged at me with your PTSD and how deathy (sic) affects you.
WELL! We see what a great “social worker” she is!
Doesn’t she know as a “social worker” that people grieve differently than others? And where does she get off attacking a Vietnam Vet? Who has PTSD? As a “social worker” – that is a no-no! And to attack someone who is grieving their MOTHER???!!! She died in 2010? That’s only 3 years ago! My mother-in-law died 10 years ago, and my husband and I still get choked up about her. Where the hell does Joan get off AS A SOCIAL WORKER and AS A HUMAN BEING to belittle someone’s grief?
As the wife of a Vietnam Veteran, I went to our local Veteran’s Resource Center in 1988 for counseling – to learn about PTSD that ALL Veterans may suffer from. I learned about the history of Vietnam, and the war. I learned about the aftermath of the war – both to the peoples of Vietnam AND our returning vets. I learned WHY my husband does certain things. And in doing so, we became strong together.
If Joan can’t handle being with a Vietnam Vet, fine, but don’t fucking attack him. Yes, many Vets, (of all wars) do suffer from PTSD and unfortunately do abuse alcohol and drugs (thank goddess my husband does not) – and that is a real concern. Joan reports on twitter that he was driving drunk and spent a month in jail. That would be a challenge to any relationship, and for speaking for myself, I would not be involved further with any man who does this (drives drunk and get thrown in jail). I am absolutely dead-set against drug and alcohol abuse.
But Joan is one to talk! She chronicles in her now-dead book that she herself was an abuser of drugs and alcohol and drove drunk. She showed up at my house once in 1991 at 5am drunk out of her mind!
So her little quickie romance is all busted up! She’s blaming his family for that. Apparently they went on the internet to check up on her. And I don’t blame them. They did what HE should have done. They were probably thinking “just who is the woman who knows our loved one for only a couple of weeks and thinks she ‘s gonna marry him? Is she the genu-wine article, or she just a gold-digger, looking for a sugar daddy to get her hooks into?”
Well, I say to them: “Good Job!”
So back to Twitter-dom: she also tweets this little gem:
Joan Wheeler @forbiddenfamily
I know what he’s still doing: checking the weather channel for weather in my city, thinking of where I am: the Y, music shows, plus ….
OH MY GOD! Joan – are you for real? Do you have the capability to see what channel is on this guy’s TV? To see the weather reports in Buffalo? and music? YOU FREAKING INSANE PARANOID IDIOT!
She also reports that she is now afraid of him. uh, duh – he’s 2500 miles away! But she told that lie on the stand in court about me in July 2013 – that she is “afraid” of me. WELL IDIOT! STOP DOING THINGS TO PISS ME OFF! — LIKE DRAGGING ME INTO YOUR FUCKED UP LOVE LIFE.
by the way – as I understand the politically correct terminology – they are not “Indians” they are “Native Americans.” And they are not “Spanish” they are Mexicans. When she first tweeted about her new romance she called him Native American. Now she calls him Indian. Last week she was blaming the “Spanish” culture for her breakup. As I understand it, some like to be called Hispanic, or Latino. I think it depends on the region. I don’t know. That’s why I don’t call anybody anything unless I know what they like to be referred by. Most of the time, I just call them people, unless I’m talking specifically about the country they come from or if their ethnic background is an important issue with what I’m writing about. As we see, Joan is a bigot. She gushes that in her youth, she had a love for Native Americans. She points that out in her book. But she also pointed out in her book that my first husband was Arab, and goes out of her way to say that I “became fully immersed in the Arab culture.” – no, I did not. I embraced many Arab people as my friends. And what did that all have to do with HER adoption anyway – the purpose of her writing her stupid book in the first place. Who I claim as my friends, have nothing to do with her adoption.
Gert here… Joan says NO ONE FROM NEW MEXICO should be reading her web blog! What?? hey I KNOW people in New Mexico…been there, speak to them on phone, email. So it could be MY PEOPLE checking Joan stuff! Joan needs to stop browbeating everyone up who think about or does anything related to ADOPTION cause that is where her pains are coming from. She needs to accept that she’s adopted and let people alone. How many men does she have to go through before she learns that NO ONE wants to hear her bitching and screaming. If she still wants to live her life the way she does then she needs to learn that MEN (together or not) don’t want to listen to a bitch scream and rant. Every man I know that has seen or hear anything about Joan says that they would not put up with her for one minute…she’d be history! and the next book that Joan writes WILL have a chapter on this guy from New Mexico cause that what Joan does…she writes lies about every person that DOESN’T AGREE WITH HER. So if I was this guy from NM, I’d keep close tabs on what Joan puts in print or on the internet as she JUST DID on twitter…the guy may not have twitter but I bet he could find someone who does.
well said Gert – and if I were that guy – or his family – I would most certainly keep close tabs on what she writes about him and pull her into court for harassment, slander and libel.
UPDATE January 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version.
Joan Wheeler keeps spreading the same tired lies about my father again. November 14, 2013Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, blaming people for your own mess, dishonesty, embellishing the truth, false accusations, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths
on this blog http://danielibnzayd.wordpress.com/2013/11/07/does-anything-anyone-say-about-adoption-hurt-you-anymore/#comment-427 Joan Wheeler (@forbiddenfamily) says: November 13, 2013 at 10:18 pm says:
I think that when people, the general public, adoptive parents in particular, call an adoptee’s other mother a “birthmother” this negates what she truly is: that adoptee’s mother. Having said that, I want to share that yes, I am still hurt by what others say about adoption. Beyond the hurt are the truths that are ignored. People continually use the words they hear in conversation, they inflict those words onto me. I correct them. No, I say, I do not have a “birthmother” or a “first mother”. My MOTHER died when I was an infant, I tell them. My MOTHER was replaced by another woman. And my FATHER was replaced by another man. These two people became my adoptive parents, and as such, they are the ones who deserve the adjective in front of the words “mother”, “father” and “parents”. These two people are my social parents. They are my legal parents, but the two people who sired and gave birth to me are my parents. Period. When I approach the topic in this way, in one-on-one conversation, with boots on the ground, I can tell you that people receiving my words are truly shocked into reality: this woman’s MOTHER died and that’s why she was adopted. The expressions on their faces tells me that they understand. They then say to me, “I’m so sorry for your loss. How tragic.” Yes. The death of my mother is tragic. And so is the punishment I received: removal from my family of birth because my father was too poor to keep me. And let me add another variable into the larger discourse: religion. A Catholic priest so compassionately reminded my father at my mother’s funeral that “the baby needs two parents” that my devout Catholic father followed exactly what his parish priest suggested. My grieving father relinquished his youngest child to a closed adoption because that was a better solution, better than asking for help to keep his family together, better than having his second wife take care of all of his children while he went to work. It must have killed him to come home each day to his older children, filled with grief and despair. He had kept his family together by getting married very soon after his first wife’s death, but at the cost of giving up his newborn daughter, a choice he told me decades later that he regretted. So, when people tell me their joys of adoption, I am hurt. And then I tell them what adoption did to me. My broken families are not the only truth I hit them with. I slam them with the truth that my real birth certificate is sealed and that every single adoptee in America is issued a falsified birth certificate. People are just not aware. … sorry for rambling. Just in a rush today.
I answered, but doubt that it will get posted, because all those angry adoptees all have their heads up their asses:
as usual, Joan gets the facts of what happened at my mom’s funeral wrong. I was only 3, but I heard from many relatives what happened. Including my own father. It is strange that Joan forgot to blast my mother’s sister here because it was she who suggested the adoption in the first place – because her childhood friend was the sister of the man who adopted Joan. It was my aunt Catherine who approached my father with the idea of adoption. My father then asked our parish priest for advice. It was not done at the funeral.
Also – my father was NOT poor. He worked for the City of Buffalo as a civil engineer. He worked in the Streets Paving Department drawing up blueprints and plans of the city’s streets. Joan routinely spins this web of lies and even goes around saying my father was a high school dropout. Which, actually was true – BUT she doesn’t say WHY! BECAUSE LIKE MANY OTHER YOUNG MEN AT THE TIME MY FATHER LEFT SCHOOL TO ENLIST IN THE ARMED FORCES TO FIGHT WORLD WAR II.
When the war was over, he went back and got his GED. He worked as a machinist in a bicycle repair shop and then went to night school for blueprint and draftsman. He was hired by the city of Buffalo in 1955 and worked there until he retired in 1988. Yes, my father married a second woman – so what? Lots of people get married. For the wrong reasons. So? Joan’s own marriage was hardly a work of bliss. Because my stepmother turned out to have mental problems, we remaining birth siblings and now two stepbrothers were placed in foster care on and off. After the death of his second wife, my father put a down payment on a house and gathered his kids from the foster homes. In 1965, as now, 4 teenagers and a mortgage can be really tough on the wallet. My father took a second job as a salesman at Sears. So? Lots of people work two jobs to help pay a mortgage and rear a bunch of teenagers. That hardly makes my dad “poor.”
In 1970, when I was 18, my father met and married another woman. She had two daughters and soon my brother came along. At which time, my stepmother resumed the career that she had before she had her two girls – working as a nurse’s aide. So? Lots of families have two incomes. Doesn’t make them “poor.” My father and stepmother liked to travel. Because my stepmother emigrated from France and relatives both in France and Greece, they traveled to Europe frequently. So? Lots of people travel the world.
Joan has a habit of pointing out other people’s income and tries to dictate to them how they should spend their money. She did it to me. Joan and I had a joint checking account in 1989 to buy real estate. For the expenses of real estate brokers, lawyer fees etc. It was MY money – $4000.00 I put in. For real estate. Joan was dipping into it to fix her car. But her husband had a job. We dissolved the idea of buying real estate and after figuring out how much was used for legitimate reasons, I was shorted out hundreds of dollars – Joan took MY money – STOLE IT. A lawyer’s refund was being sent to us – split in half and Joan agreed since it was my money in the first place, when she got her check – she would give it to me. It was MY money after all. BUT when the time came – she said she was keeping it – MY money – to buy a xmas tree for her kids. I said Keep it – but I don’t want to see you again. Joan’s husband worked. Joan refused to get a job. Joan sees Ruth and her husband working. Ruth and her husband have no kids. Ruth and her husband can afford to buy Joan’s kids xmas. Really?
MY HUSBAND AND I WORK TO PAY OUR EXPENSES NOT ANYBODY ELSE’S. I DID NOT GIVE BIRTH TO JOAN’S KIDS AND WAS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM. This is how Joan’s mind works. go ahead and not post this – I’m putting it all on MY blog anyway. – but you adoptees all think another adoptee can do no wrong – but you are all hiding your heads in the sand when you take Joan’s words as gospel truth. On my blog – I post scans of actual documents that prove what I say. Joan just runs her mouth.
gert here…of course Daniel, author of the blog that Joan wrote lies about us, will not publish our comments…but it’s save to say that he at least read them! For a smart guy he is pretty dumb! These angry adoptees don’t care whether Joan lies or not…she’s good for their program against all things adoption. Joan’s their poster-child because she had such great tall tales of pain and suffering due to her being abused by adoptive parents…oh excuse me, according to Joan they are ‘social parents’…So these angry adoptees will just continue blindly agreeing with each other and ignoring the facts that are presented to them…for you see they are not interested in truth, only in the fact that they can continue to spread their form of venom and hate
exactly Gert – these hypocritical “angry adoptees” foam at the mouth when they demand THE TRUTH. That’s what they keep saying they want. They want THE TRUTH told about their birth certificates, their geneology, their birth families, their family medical backgrounds. That is reasonable, and they should receive those truths. However, THE TRUTH does not end there – because the birth family have their own truths and facts – Joan’s warped brain needs to lay BLAME on everyone – and I mean everyone in her birth and adoptive families for her wretched life. And there are lots of people out there who are so stupid, so brainless as to think that Joan doesn’t lie. They are worthless sheeple.
Overthinking, imagining, speculating, fantasizing – then reporting those erroneous thoughts as fact – this is what Joan Wheeler does on a daily basis November 10, 2013Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, embellishing the truth, false accusations, gossip, Lies, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity
This is what Joan Wheeler does – she overthinks, speculates, projects the way SHE would react to a problem onto others, imagines how that person would react, speculates on how that person thinks and acts, thereby creating a fantasy, then begins to actually believe that fantasy, then reports that fantasy as FACT. – Meanwhile, the person she has dreamed up this shit about hasn’t a clue as to what Joan is talking about, is pissed because now a lie is being told about them, calls Joan out on it, gets yelled at, phone slammed on them – and then the whole incident is reported as the other person has now “harassed” Joan and is “interfering with her life.” Joan then escalates the telling of her fantasy, now lying about the person, and the person is left wondering what the hell they did!
like the shit time I called her to tell her Aunt Doris died. (November 3, 2009) After reading email about it, I call my father. Joan should know, she was named after Aunt Doris. Did Dad still have Joan’s phone #? (because a few months prior he kicked her out of his house and life). Yes he did. He was tired. Should Ruth place call? Yes, says Dad. So she does –
Joan – how did you get this number?
Ruth – from Dad.
Joan – NOT a good idea.
Ruth – whatever, look, Aunt Doris died. We thought you should know.
Joan – thank you for that, but —-$%^$#@*&^^?)(&&%$$^ AND DON’T FUCKING CALL ME AGAIN.
Ruth slams phone down and bursts into tears. Goes to cousin Nancy’s house and Nancy calms her down. Then Ruth goes to Dad’s house, where dad says, “Joan is mentally ill.” meanwhile, Joan calls Town of Tonawanda police – Gert, Kathy and Ruth are calling her on the phone harassing her. on the spirit of my miscarried son, I swear this is what happened. – But Joan tells a completely different story. why? – cos she’s nuts. should be committed.
How does ONE phone call, placed by Ruth, get reported to the police that Ruth, Gert AND Kathy as placing phone calls to Joan? Go back to the beginning of this post and learn how Joan’s fucked up brain works, er, DOESN’T work. Because, just because Joan thinks something, that doesn’t make it true.
and by the way – the next day I called Gert, and then she called the Town of Tonawanda police. The officer placing the call to me the night previously had left his name on my answering machine, so Gert asked to speak to him personally. He told Gert: “don’t worry about her, we know all about her.” roflmao!
- 1. gertmcqueen
Gert here…excellent post!! I hope the links I put here come in, if not just go to the date, August 18, 2011, on my blog and read them…they are ALL good examples of how Joan does this overthinking and imagining…it is HOW her brain works!
http:/gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/Joan Wheeler’s own behavior….exhibit A on August 18, 2011
http:/gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/Joan Wheeler’s own behavior….exhibit B on August 18, 2011
http:/gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/Joan Wheeler’s own behavior….exhibit C on August 18, 2011
UPDATE, FEBRUARY 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…
Tags: adoption, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, SLANDER, spreading untruths, theft
why this blog –
I already have a page – the reason for this blog. Let us go over it again.
Joan Wheeler, born Doris Sippel, my sister was given up for adoption after my mother died, due to child care issues. She was raised as an only child, spoiled rotten, never having the word NO said to her.
In 1974, we were reunited with her. Within a few short years, Joan’s overbearing attitude, her stealing, her lying, her interference in some of out lives, caused us to, one by one, turn our backs on her.
Boundaries and limits were set by various members of the birth family, which Joan repeatedly ignored. By 1989, she had surfaced as a THIEF. A joint checking account, funded by me, to be used for real estate purposes, (Joan and I were thinking of buying rental property together), was dipped into time and again for Joan’s living expenses. Hamburgers at the mall, Joan’s car repairs. This was not what I put the money up for. When we dissolved the “partnership” I was shorted out a lot of money – even taking into account monies spent on real estate brokers, appraisal fees, etc. Those I well accepted, as that was the agreement. I did NOT agree to foot Joan’s living expenses. Joan’s husband had a job. My paycheck goes for me, not anybody else. In December 1990, a refund from a lawyer was agreed to be turned over to me to go towards what Joan owed me. Instead, Joan called me up and informed me she was keeping the money to provide xmas for her kids. Again, that was not what my money was for – you got kids? Foot your holidays for them via your own money, NOT your sister’s. I was lied to, stolen from. This spoiled little brat Joan, USED me. I told her to get the hell away from me and stay away.
Over the course of the next few years, I was harassed left and right. Phone calls and letters to my job, accusing me of computer fraud occurred almost daily for six months. Joan called child abuse on herself, posing as me. Joan wrote to various elected officials and government agencies telling them that I had a criminal record – which I do not. I myself received a letter from Joan telling that my husband had gotten the next door neighbor pregnant – when the house was vacant!
And she wonders why I’m pissed at her.
THEN she writes and self-publishes her “autobiography. And in this trashy filthy book, is more lies about me – slander – and again, accusing me of computer fraud at my job, that I have a criminal record and other filthy shit.
I created this blog to take each and every one of the lies in Joan’s filthy book and expose it for what it is – a lie.
I have provided actual court documents that prove that Joan lied about me. I have scanned and posted to this blog the actual letter that Joan sent to Albany NY that said that in 1993 I was sentenced to probation. She wrote in the filthy book that I was sentenced to a one year order of protection for various harassments of her and her mother. I scanned the court document with the dates that prove it was for six months over some annoyance phone calls that she engineered for me to make. She forged her own 10 year old son’s handwriting and sent a letter to my house (supposedly her son). When I called her to ask about it, she said, “hold on a minute.” and hung up. I called back and she did it again. THEN she falsely lodged a police complaint that I called her and hung up on her. So she got a 6 month order of protection against me. BUT she says in the book it was for one year – and for worse than phone calls. And I scanned and provided the forged letter and all documents to prove I am not the harasser that Joan claims that I am.
Her little friends get on their high horse and lamblast me for telling the truth and “destroying” Joan and her book.
Well, too damn bad. That book was destroyed by me and my sister Gert. BECAUSE IT CONTAINED LIES ABOUT NOT ONLY ME – BUT OTHER MEMBERS OF OUR FAMILY.
Joan is the worst kind of slime ever! She is a kin-killer. Do you know what that means? It means what it says! She stabbed HER OWN FAMILY in the heart and back.
I sent my documents to Trafford Publication, the publisher of Joan’s book. Joan had signed a legal contract with them – that stated that the contents of the book were the truth. My documents proved that she lied.
If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth. – – Carl Sagan
It’s as plain and simple as that. If you don’t like it Joan – too dam bad.
Yes, that’s go over it again…
what made Joan think she could interfere with my parental rights with my minor children?
why couldn’t Joan take NO for an answer to a repeat of a sexual threesome?
what made Joan think she could call child abuse on me, TWICE, because SHE didn’t like my parenting or the word NO or because…pick out something…doesn’t matter to her, anything would work?
why did Joan speak with fork-tongue; nice to my face yet within hours condemn my religion and my mental health?
why did Joan attempt to get my daughter to commit a crime? Joan wanted to pursue a medical malpractice suit regarding HER daughter and since MY daughter worked with medical records Joan believed SHE could get MY daughter to commit a crime for her!?
Why did Joan write me a letter asking me to CALL her to warn me about some danger…only to yell at me NOT to call her?
Why did Joan tell me, on the phone, after brother died and father gravely ill, that SHE LOVED ME, then twist everything in a lying garbage book?
Because Joan is a sick bitch that’s way…
this is not over till JOAN takes down EACH AND EVERY HATE BLOG SHE AND HER FRIENDS HAVE AGAINST BLOOD RELATIVES.
2. Ruth – August 21, 2013 Gert said: ” Why did Joan write me a letter asking me to CALL her to warn me about some danger…only to yell at me NOT to call her?”
What Gert refers to is an incident that happened in 1998. But let’s back up to 1994-95 – When Joan called child Abuse on herself (Dec. 1994). This was right in the middle of the time she was calling my employer with false accusations trying to get me fired. The child abuse call was made and it was my fiance (now husband) who was named as an abuser of Joan’s children. The letter she sent to Albany NY, was written Dec. 31, 1994. During the months of January/February 1995 she was writing letters to the mayor of Buffalo, and other people slandering me. Then she sent me the copies of those letters. I hauled her into court and the judge dismissed my charges saying “sisters should get along.” The day after that, I went down to the district attorney’s office to complain. One of the assistant DA’s told me that they had better things to do. And she told me to stay away from Joan. I told her, that I would be happy to, as long as Joan also stays away from and stop writing letter about me. The Asisstant DA assured me that she would tell Joan the same thing. Which is what she did and I had three and a half years of peace – until September 1998.
I received a registered letter from Joan – the envelope was addressed to me and my fiance John. Inside was a letter addressed to Gert. Why was my fiance’s name on the envelope and WHY WAS JOAN CONTACTING ME AFTER AN ASSITANT DA TOLD HER NOT TO? Because Joan is a spoiled little brat who will NOT take NO for an answer – even if that word NO comes from law enforcement!
The letter was about some guy who bumped into Joan’s ex-husband in South Carolina. This guy was bad-mouthing Gert. So? A conversation happens in South Carolina, and Ruth, minding her own business in Buffalo, suddenly gets dragged into it! AFTER JOAN WAS TOLD BY LAW ENFORCEMENT NOT TO CONTACT RUTH.
The letter was to be sent to Gert and I contacted Gert and told her about the letter and gave Gert the phone number provided in the letter. Gert called the number and Joan yelled at her not to call her.
JOAN, IF YOU DIDN’T WANT GERT TO CALL YOU – WHY DID YOU SEND ME A LETTER TELLING ME TO TELL GERT TO CALL YOU?
I think Joan was trying to set Gert up the way she set me up in 1993 with that forged letter from her “son” and caught me in an annoyance phone call trap – she wanted Gert to call her, knowing the call would be traced and Joan wanted to run to the cops and claim Gert was harassing her.
This is the shit we have had to deal with from Joan – her little schemes – and she didn’t do it to just me and Gert – she did it to my cousin Gail – WHILE GAIL WAS BATTLING CANCER! KIN-KILLER! That’s what you are Joan – lower than then lowest. And another cousin also had his job contacted with false accusations about him – because his aunt – my cousin Gail told him to stay away from Joan, and he stopped accepting her calls. For this she tried to destroy his job.
And she tried to fuck with my job again just recently.
Joan is a fucking devious evil bitch.