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how many titles does JOAN M WHEELER need to let her lousy life story September 2, 2016

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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and while she’s at telling her life story she slanders and libels every member of TWO FAMILIES.





reworking and reposting of a 2-part BOOK POST Chapter 15 of Joan Wheeler’s libelous book February 21, 2013

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these posts are on Gert’s blog…


Lies, smugness, arrogance – the very reasons why Joan Wheeler’s birth family doesn’t want her around them February 19, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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The other day, February 16, I posted another reply to Joan Wheeler on The Huffington Post where she admitted on January 22 to the recent (Nov. 2012) harassment/stalking crime of contacting my employer with a false accusation. To see all her comments and all my replys to her in one spot click HERE.

Gert had checked the Huffington page today (February 19, and saw my comment had been approved for posting and we had this little exchange on facebook:

Gert McQueen:I checked this out again last night and it is a very good feeling that Huffington keeps allowing your posts, even after a month! The moderators obviously have SEEN the truth in what you have to say in response to what obviously are lies that JW has said…RIGHT ON

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace: like I said on the phone -I believe that a moderator at Huffington has left the exchange there as a classic case of what NOT to say on the internet (Joan’s comments) and that there can and will be repurcussions (my taking her to task online on Huff and filing criminal charges against her).

Gert Mcqueen: her arrogance as well as her lies just caught up with her, now she does have to pay the piper for the song and dance that she’s been playing on ALL THE FAMILY’S backs!

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace: “her arrogance” – yes – it isn’t just the lies and the harassments, the dirty deeds, it’s her f’ing smugness at times – which tells me she knows EXACTLY what she is doing. Like the time in 1995 when the judge dismissed my charges against her, and FJM and I were coming down the escalator – Joan looked up at me – dead in the eye – and SMIRKED at me. FJM went running down the escalator saying she was going to wipe that smirk off Joan’s face. The smirk left Joan’s face and she went white. She knew what she did and was scared she was going to get her ass beat. She should be thanking me for stopping FJM when I did. I saved Joan from a real ass-beating.

Okay, Ruth here – now I’m not promoting violence. I’m not a violent person. But geez, sometimes I want to just reach out give somebody a good slap right across the chops! But I recognize the consequences of my actions. It isn’t right to put your hands on another person. No matter how much you want to or fantasize or joke about it. When my friend went running down the escalator, I ran after her and stopped her. I told her something and I will post it right here:

“Let her go. She’s not worth you getting into trouble for. One day her crap is going to catch up with her.”

Well, looks like my prediction is coming to fruition. You really do reap what you sow. Joan sowed a LOT of rotten seeds. She is now reaping the harvest of what SHE did. Not Ruth, not Gert, not anybody else. It was Joan herself who CHOSE to contact my job back in 1994-95 with false accusations of computer fraud. It was Joan herself who CHOSE to write harassing lying letters to me, to elected officials. It was Joan herself who CHOSE to write lies in her book – lies that were so flagrant and in direct contradiction of actual court and police documents.

And what is the result? Joan’s lies are coming to light. Her credibilty is shot. oh, too bad. I’ve been saying for three years now, via this blog, that Joan needs to tell the TRUTH. But she keeps chosing to lie. She did it again in November 2012, by contacting my employer with a lie. Then her smug arrogance kicked in and she boasted about it on public internet. And now she pays the piper.

lol, we hear about this stuff all the time on the nightly news. A crime is committed. The police have a suspect, but can’t quite prove it. Or they might not have a suspect. One day, an inmate steps forward and tells the cops “my cellmate was bragging how he/she did this or that.” And BINGO – the crime is now linked to a suspect!

Joan never learns. Because she is so arrogant she thinks she doesn’t HAVE to learn anything. She thinks she can walk her arrogant little ass around MY rights.

She will learn someday. And the learning is not going to be very pretty. And when the ugly truth comes up and slaps her in the face, I will not be extending one ounce of sympathy – because she is bringing everything down upon herself, by herself.


We always have a choice, regardless of circumstances. Although for the life of me, I can’t figure out what “circumstance” there could have been for Joan to LIE about me, STEAL from me, call my job to get me fired, write me a letter falsely saying that my fiance got the next door neighbor pregnant (when the house was vacant). Well, as I said above, it was JOAN who chose to do those things. Nobody forced her to them. Now she reaps what she has sown.

1. gertmcqueen – February 20, 2013 [Edit]

Gert here…and what made her THINK that it was perfectly okay for her to mess with my children and my ADOPTION process? And all the other dirty deeds and words said about me? And then, NOT answer the direct question by me to her on a public forum? Her answer was to ran to Huffington and complaint about me! Typical Joan response to her VICTIMS…scream that they are harassing her! Doesn’t work any longer. Everyone is watching!

RE: Joan Wheeler (Forbidden Family) – The Truth is Out There. And we have brought it forth. August 31, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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We have used actual court documents that prove the truth.

NOTE see end of this post for update

We have used actual handwritten letters – written by Joan Wheeler herself.

These documents have been scanned and posted on this blog.

They are undeniable.

Who so ever denies the truth that is revealed by these documents is an idiot.

How does one explain the discrepency between what is written in a libelous book and websites, and an actual Buffalo City Court document? If the person REFUSES to explain the difference, yet continues to scream and rant that the libelous book told the truth – that person cannot be called rational. If their friend takes the same postion and performs the same actions (refusing to explain the difference, and continues to promote a proven lie as truth), that person is also NOT RATIONAL.

Two plus two equals 4. That is the Truth. No amount of neurotic attempts to change it to equal 5 will ever work. Facts are facts.

Joan Wheeler lied in her book Forbidden Family. I have posted actual Buffalo City Court documents on this blog that irrefutibly proves this. No amount of neurotic attempts to change it will succeed.

Also: anybody who says it is Joan Wheeler’s “point of view” that certain things happened the way she reports in her book, is also being irrational.

Again, 2 + 2 equals 4. That is a FACT! Having a “point of view” that 2 plus 2 equals 5 is erroneous, delusional and irrational.

Having a point of view that an order of protection was for the duration of one year, when in reality it was for six months, is erroneous, delusional and irrational. Refusing to acknowledge the actual Buffalo City Court document that states a judges decree of SIX MONTHS, is erroneous, delusional and irrational. To keep insisting that such order of protection was for one year, is the sign of an irrational lie. For a friend to keep insisting that Joan is NOT  lying, is a sign that that friend is also irrational. For the friend to REFUSE to also acknowledge an actual document from a City of Buffalo Court, and signed by a City Court Judge shows us that that friend is indeed irrational. Further, for the friend to state that I, who was the recepient of court order, and who scanned the document and posted it to this blog, has mental problmes because I am presenting the cold hard facts, shows us that this friend is the one with mental problems. Because I have only presented a court document. If I, Ruth, have mental problems because I believe what is written on the court document, then the entire judicial system in the city of Buffalo is also flawed, the prosecuters, lawyers, clerks, warrant officers, bailiffs and judges all have mental problems. This is a clear sign of irrationality for ANYone, be it a personal friend of Joan Wheeler or internet supporters. If ANYone says that an actual court document is NOT the truth, but the irrational claims of a person who readily admits that she is having mental problems and has been in therapy for more 30 years, IS the truth (or her point of view) shows that they themselves are NOT rational.

The Truth WAS out there – it is now here – on this blog, on my sister Gert’s blog. No amount of irrational ranting by Joan Wheeler or her buddy Brian T. Maloney will change that. No amount of harassing bullying and name calling and judgments on my life, my career, my personal choices in food, entertainment, or recreational activities will ever change me, or my mission:


UPDATE MAY 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor!





ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS – are you listening Joan Wheeler? Are you listening Brian Maloney? August 29, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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A five year old girl was beaten to death in Niagara Falls the other day, by a 16 year old punk – I attended a candlelight vigil held for her Tuesday night, August 28. I wrote a poem for Isabella and included it in my report of the vigil in this post: candle light vigil for a little girl held in Cheektowaga, Tuesday night, August 28, 2012

What I want to know is – WHY WEREN’T JOAN WHEELER OR BRIAN MALONEY THERE AT THE VIGIL? After all, Joan is always spouting about the rights of children – WHY WEREN’T YOU AT A VIGIL FOR A 5 YEAR OLD GIRL WHO WAS MURDERED JOAN? – oh, she wasn’t “adopted” so her rights don’t count. You’re always bitching about abused children – and here was an child who was abused to the point of death. Where’s your outrage? – Where is your sense of REVERENCE FOR LIFE? as Dr. Albert Schweitzer said. No, you go and say that people who adopt should all be shot. Always bitching about the rights of Native Americans, you want to change society, blah, blah, blah, but what do you do in your book? Condemn me and mock me for my infertility, my miscarriage and my neighborhood activism. – see I don’t just go on the internet and yak about society’s ills – I WALK MY TALK! I worked with my local councilmen, I started up a block club – I got out there and organized a Street Clean-Up. I started a  petition in the early 90’s for rodent control and worked to get those blue totes that cut down on the rodents. What do YOU do Joan? NOTHING – JUST RUN YOUR RIDICULOUS HYPOCRITICAL MOUTH!

Brian is boasting that he is a Reiki “master” and healer. WHY WEREN’T YOU AT A VIGIL FOR A LITTLE GIRL WHO’S LIFELIGHT WAS TAKEN FROM HER BRIAN? Aren’t you supposed to be some sort of “New Agey” Master? and a healer?  Why didn’t you bring your healing to the vigil? mmmm? Were you busy late Tuesday evening with some sort of healing? Oh no – you were too busy writing another comment trashing me on the internet. You have time for that, but not for a real incident of HEALING! You are a hypocrite – just like your little buddy Joan – you can talk shit, but you can’t heal – now you say you wanted to bring peace to my family – even though we didn’t ask for you – – but your healing ain’t working pal. best you be on your way – cos you ain’t changing me no time soon. And I never will change – I don’t want Joan in my life she is not a legal member of my family – I will continue to expose her lies on this blog – with the court documents and her own handwritten letters that show she is a liar. yak yak yak – that’s all you two pathetic little weasels can do. But when it comes time for action – when the community needs our collective healing – you just sit at your computer keyboards and trashtalk people. what pathetic losers!

Final Notice to Brian T. Maloney (LION) of Williamsville, puppet of Joan Wheeler July 27, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Final Notice to Brian T. Maloney (LION) of Williamsville, puppet of Joan Wheeler

Brian, the following blog posts are all about you. Until you remove that abusive blog you have against us and offer a public apology to us for sticking your nose where it don’t belong – in MY family’s business and trashing my father after he was dead – these blog posts will remain in existence for all the world to see.

What you need to do is delete ALL posts from your blog – and leave ONE post up recanting all the abuse you heaped on me and Gert – particularly where you called us dogs. And don’t try to squirm your way out of it by saying you were quoting an old adage – “if you lay down with dogs, expect to catch fleas.” – This was directed to a person who supports our blogs and left a comment on your blog. So, no, you didn’t come right out and SAY Gert and me were dogs – but by telling Paula that she was associating with us, she would catch fleas – in essence you WERE calling us dogs. And that doubles your mistake – you not only called women you never met – dogs – but then tried to twist your words and tried to LIE your way out of it. – That doesn’t go very well with your Reiki healing.

Also, you need to change the name of your blog from “Defending Joan Wheeler” to “No longer defending Joan Wheeler.” And in that one post you keep up on your blog you tell WHY you no longer are defending her – because once she found out in November 2011 just who your father was and how your father was the lawyer who handled my father’s adoption of his stepdaughter, Joan kept that from you and whined at you and got you to do her dirty work. She played you for a fool – as a revenge at that dirty lawyer who handled my stepsister’s adoption.

Admit your mistake Brian. But I know you won’t. Because it takes a big man, a big person to admit when they’re wrong. And you are no man. You are a wimp, a coward and a creep.

So here are some blog posts about Brian T. Maloney. and before anybody takes me to task for writing so much about this creep – remember – I knew his father, his father was a long time attorney and friend of my father and stepmother. In representing my family, I left a condolence message on an online memorial guest book when Brian’s father, Arthur J. Maloney died on November 16, 2011. I never met Brian. I don’t know him. But one month after his father died, Brian started cyber stalking and cyber-harassing and cyber-bullying me and Gert. He should have minded his own business. He brought this on himself.

Hey Champ!! (Brian T. Maloney of Williamsville, NY) Where’s your response to our rebuttals, to your defense of Joan Wheeler, on the Buffalo News web site?

How Brian T. Maloney of Williamsville, NY trashed my LATE father on the internet – what he said about a dead man that he never met

Champ, the so called defender of Joan Wheeler, is slacking on the job!! …

Brian Maloney and Joan Wheeler think they are in the right…okay they can have their delusion

I’m putting the brat Brian to bed and ignoring his temper tantrums – because that’s how you deal with brats – give them NO more attention.

Charlatans can be found everywhere and in every field of healing Brian isn’t the only one.

Brian T. Maloney has been exposed in a new comment that I placed on that Buffalo News article by Joan Wheeler (with a screenshot of his blog – proving how he abused and bullied us)

Brian T. Maloney is concerned for my health. aw gee. (my rebuttal after Brian insinuates that I am on psych meds – which I am not, never have been and don’t need to. Another example of his abuse of me.

Brian T. Maloney can’t do any Reiki healing on anyone – because he’s a damaged individual in need of healing himself. – with graphics from Linkedin where Joan and Brian recomended each other on November 11, 2011.

rampaging on facebook – funny? – not so funny when you find out you’ve been trashed by the son of someone you honored – Brian T. Maloney is no healer – he’s a menace! 

Fun and games on Facebook – re: The Nameless One (aka Joan Wheeler) and Brian “Chimp” Maloney (full of baloney) 

What did Joan Wheeler know of the connection of Brian T. Maloney’s father to my father, when did she know it, and I expose another lie in her libelous book 

Brian T. Maloney abuses someone who HONORED his father, Arthur J. Maloney – because Joan Wheeler told him to. (with screenshot of Arthur’s obit and my name from the guest book)

the dangers of writing shit about someone if you don’t know them – a lesson to be learned by Brian T. Maloney 

Ruth admits to a big oopsey! 

Guest post from Gert’s daughter Karen with update from Gert – Karen lets Brian have it for calling her mom and aunt dogs.

Chimp aka Brian T. Maloney continues to show the world what a disgusting moron he is – with graphics proving that he listened to lying gossip from Joan about someone I didn’t get along with back in the late 1970’s. – And she sent me a get well card in 1985. I post the card in this post.

Well Champ/Brian, on his HOW ELOQUENT! post has acknowledged SOME of the comments placed on that post/blog!

Just in case Brian Champ Thomas Maloney tries to deny who he is. 

We know who Champ is!! His name is Brian Maloney and he has left his mark; I found him and now I expose him too.

Joan Wheeler is a dangerous nut – she has had a long history of harassing people. July 21, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Uncategorized.
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this is a different sort of post – during a facebook conversation with Gert and me and a couple of our cousins, the question was asked what did Joan Wheeler do to piss off the members of the family of our mom’s sister.

Part 1 She started with Gail because Gail had grown up with Helen Connors’ daughters – Nancy, Fran and Annie – Helen was the childhood friend of Aunt Catherine and the brother of Edward Wheeler.    Joan remembered the Crystal Beach incident when she and Gail were 10 years and they bumped into each other – Gertrude Anetrino – another of Edward Wheeler’s sisters – lived on Sumner St – right around the corner from Bailey and Walden – right where Scheu Park is – where grandpa Jacob Herr and the family lived. – and not far from where I live now.
They used to have nieghborhood days at Crystal Beach – you pre-bought some ride and meal tickets at neighborhood stores for a savings. So in 1966, Gertrude and Helen and all their kids went for Bailey and Walden Day and coincidentally Aunt Catherine went with Ida, Norman and Gail. I don’t know who the adults Aunt Catherine went with, as she didn’t drive. Aunt Catherine and Gail bumped into Dorothy Wheeler and Joan – Gail saw Joan and was confused because she thought it was me, but then it wasn’t. Catherine told her later never to tell me or anyone she saw that girl. Gail then saw Joan’s Holy Communion picture and remembered the kid at Crystal Beach. I don’t know when in Gail’s life she became aware that we Sippels had another sister, but in 1974 when we found her, she told me didn’t like having to lie to me. – this is the one of the “lies” of adoption that Joan is always bitching about – but then she twists things around and in the book BLAMES Gail for not telling her about herself – like – wtf – Gail was a 10 year old kid and didn’t know anything!

Part 2. During the 1970’s me, Joan and Gail would go out discoing and bar-hopping. but Gail never really liked Joan. She sensed from the get-go that Joan was wierd. At her wedding shower (1980), we were having dinner and Nancy and Fran started talking about Joan, and Helen kicked one of them under the table “don’t talk about people behind their back.” I don’t remember which one but they said, “mom, we’re talking about Joan.” – because Nancy, Fran, and Annie grew up with Joan – they knew how wierd she was – apparently she had been wierd all her life. The early 80’s – Gail was busy with her own life as a newlywed and trying to get pregnant. At the same time I was trying to get pregnant. And in 1980, I went back to working the night shift. Neither Gail nor me had much time to spend on Joan. And of course, then we had the troubles with Karen. – Joan felt that Gail was “avoiding her” because the Wheeler cousins were badmouthing her. – but a lot of it was due to what she did to you Gert in 1982. Aunt Catherine was very upset over the whole thing. By the time we had the Herr family reunion at Uncle Mikes house in 1985, EVERYBODY was starting to see Joan for the nut she was and knew what she did to you Gert and were starting to distance themselves from her.

Part 3 – In 1993, Joan’s daughter got sick and this was after Joan stole that money from me and she knew she couldn’t ask me for any family medical history on thyroid problems, so she photocopied a bunch of medical stuff about Cathy and mailed them to Gail. Gail was pissed at her for what she did to me and sent them back to her. Joan waited until after 10 at night and called her on the phone and was screaming at Gail on the answering machine. Kevin wanted to get up and bitch her out, but Gail told him to just ignore her. From time to time, Joan would mail shit to Gail but Gail would always just mark the envelope “return to sender.” which was pissing Joan off even more. By 1994 when Joan ramped up her harassment to me, I sort of withdrew from everybody – and Gail purposely did not call me – because she wanted to prove to everyone that it was not Ruth doing all the trouble at one point Gail called our father up and told him “its not Ruth – it’s Joan.” Joan was now living back with her mother – with no job, kids either in school or day camp (did she ever parent them?) and she had all sorts of time to write letters to me and Gail. I couldn’t get the dam Buffalo Police to listen to me. But in the town of Eden – it was a different story. I don’t remember when – it had to be late 1998 when Joan sent her another letter – and Gail finally went to the police and they sent Joan a letter to tell her to stop contacting Gail – and it was at this time, Gail was battling cancer. When she got the last letter in 1999, she took it right to the police and they called Joan and said “did you send this letter to Mrs. B.? and Joan said yes. “after we told not to contact her?” she said yes. it was the Eden police who started the harassment charge against Joan. – I didn’t know any of this until John and I got married. I didn’t even know Gail and Kevin got divorced. and I am STILL upset that during the last years of her life, Gail purposely did not call me – to protect me – to prove that it wasnt me doing the shit.

Part 4 I can’t remember the exact year – but Joan had a crack in her windshield – and she went to get it fixed and the mechanic was Ray III – Bugsy’s son.  Somehow the two got to talking and found out they were cousins. Ray was nice enough to invite Joan home for dinner. When Gail found out – she told him to leave her alone because she was dangerous. I don’t know what she told him. He started distancing himself from her, and she kept trying to call him. This had to be the late 90’s during the height of her letter writing to lots of people. (my job, the mayor, even Jessica, the 17 year old daughter of Nancy -and Jessica had nothing to do with the family drama! – she was bitching out Jessica and Nancy got her on the phone and told Joan the police would be called if she bothered her daughter again). — I don’t have the letter anymore – but I did get one letter that accused me, my friend Francine, Gail and Ray of “plotting against her.” – I called Francine up and she came over for lunch and then I read the letter to her. she started choking on her sandwich and then said “but but, I never met your cousin Ray.” – Joan in retaliation for this “plot” called Ray’s job to say he fucked up the windshield – trying to get him in trouble on his job. — like she was doing to me at my job.

Part 5 – Joan also managed to get Uncle Mattie’s daughter (I can’t remember her name) and Aunt Bertha’s kids Dennis and  Becky mad at her as well. – Because she has such a lovely way to relate to people.

and with all this shit going on – for more than 25 years and the courts and the district attorney and the police – if Joan goes off the deep end like that nut in colorado – I will hold the authorities responsible – because they have had plenty of notice about this sick bitch.

And that’s also why I sent that letter to Buffalo area therapist Nicole Urdang, who supposedly read Joan’s book and left a book review on amazon.com saying it was a good book. This was a few months after Congresswoman Gabby Giffords was shot. And I told Urdang that she didn’t see the contradictions that Joan made in the book – and that Urdang was a poor therapist because she didn’t recognize that the book is not about adoption reform but a chronicle of a woman losing her sanity. and I told Urdang that she is responsible for egging Joan on. As well as Rene Hoksbergen, Lori Corangelo, Russell Thomas, Susan Thompson Underdahl and recently Brian T. Maloney.

I forgot to mention a name on the list of people that I will hold responsible if Joan Wheeler goes off the deep end.- Buffalo City Court Judge Margaret Anderson.

In 1995 I took Joan to court for harassment because of:
Sometime in 1994 Joan’s hospital bill got mixed up with another patient. Joan ASSUMED I did it and called my job. They investigated and found me innocent. They told Joan this. I work as a nurse’s aide, since 1972. Joan puts in her book that I work as a billing clerk to lend credence to this bullshit. The computers on the nursing station are not connected to the billing computers. The mistake was traced to a typo made at 4pm. I worked at that time 11pm to 7am. Not to mention the fact that they can trace everything you do on the computer. But Joan KNEW I did, even though she was told I didn’t. So she set out to change the facts. To change history. She called my job repeatedly for six months trying to get me fired. This is a hospital for god’s sake and we have better things to do than put with a lunatic! Like taking care of sick people and saving lives!
In December 1994, Joan called child abuse on herself, posing as me, She then wrote to Albany NY and told the Child Abuse authorities that I had been placed on probation due to annoyance phone calls. No, it was a six-month order of protection. In February 1995, I received a packet in the mail – from Joan – it contained photocopies of letters she had been writing to: Erie County District Attorney Kevin Dillon, Erie County Commissioner of Social Services Deborah Merrifield,  NYS Senator Anthony Nanula, Buffalo Mayor Anthony Masiello, and the Patient Finacial Services Director of my employer. All these letter contained false accusations of me, and telling these elected officials and people at my job that I can’t pregnant, I hate her because she has kids, I hate her because she killed my mom. I’m not married but I’m living a man who’s not the same race as me. I have an arrest record, I am a criminal. AND she wrote letters to my fiance telling him to break up with me. She contacted my future mother in law, trying to tell her I was evil.
So I took all those letters, including the ones to my fiance and his mother and filed harassment charges on her. At one point while I was standing in front of Judge Margaret Anderson, she was looking at the letters and picked one up, turned to the person standing to her right, and said “she wrote to Kevin?” (the district attorney Kevin Dillon). And she was laughing. A judge was laughing at the clear stalking and harassing letters that Joan had written about me. She then dismissed my harassment charges saying: “sisters should get along.”

Oh thank you very much Judge Margaret Anderson – you have clear evidence of someone stalking me, harassing me, writing letters of character assassination, and you dismissed it all. YOU enabled Joan Wheeler to continue to harass me up to the present.

YOU put it in Joan’s sick head that she could harass me and get away with it.

Through the years, when I have told the story of this and showed those letters to people, they were shocked that a city court judge saw all the clear evidence and dismissed it. And we all have one name for that judge and it ain’t very pretty!

 1. Ruth

AND in November 2009, when I called Joan on the phone to tell her that our Aunt Doris died, she started screaming at me – hurling obscenities at me – I got in my car and went to my cousin Nancy’s house and she calmed down – all I did was make a legitmate phone call, – that even after all the harasment that Joan did to me, that I, her sister, would take the time to tell Joan that the woman she was originally named for (Doris) had passed. What did I get in return? I got hit with a barrage of verbal abuse!
After I left Nancy’s house, I went to my dad’s – where he got a screaming phone call from Joan. He told me then that Joan is mentally ill. By the time I got home – there was a message on my answering machine – from the Town of Tonawanda police saying that Ruth Sippel Pace and my sisters Gert and Kathy were to stop calling Joan. yeah! Joan fucking called the cops on me and named two other people that had nothing to do with it!
When I told Gert, Gert called tonawanda police (long distance) and they told Gert “don’t worry, we know all about her.”
And in January 2011, in a facebook private message conversation I had with Joan’s ex husband, he told me that he has had to call the police LONG DISTANCE (he lived at the time in S. Carolina) to break up fights between Joan and her daughter. Who is being forced at the age of 24 to work two jobs to support herself and her mom. But in a myspace email to me the day after I called Joan about Aunt Doris, my niece is whining “don’t I have a right to a life of my own?” – yet, 3 years later, she’s still stuck with her mother – it reminds me of an old horror movie – sort of like “whatever happened to baby jane?” – but not quite. I fear that not only is Joan mentally ill, but if at the age of 24, you haven’t gotten away from your sick mother, you must be sick yourself. I feel sorry for mentally ill people, but to a point. – especially when you’ve been their target for harassment for years and can’t get it to stop!

2. gertmcqueenJuly 22, 2012

Gert here…

After what joan did to me, 1980-82, I left Buffalo and was not aware of many things until 1992 when I started talking again with Ruth. It was difficult to follow because I had lost contact with relatives who were children or not even born when I left and the stories, about Joan’s behavior has always been sick and wierd.

in 1998 I too received a letter from Joan, that she sent to Ruth, to which I answered and told her why is she still bothering me when I told her to get lost in 1982 and then again in 1992?

When Ruth told me about how Joan was harassing Gail I couldn’t believe it…Joan never stops…

And just before she published that lying book she was setting the ground work, on the internet, AGAINST US….and I have the evidence dating back to 2008!

And since the book was published we siblings have gone after Joan’s lying and she has enlisted all kinds of people to ‘get us’ and they have failed because TRUTH WINS OUT. We are NOT DONE with telling all the truths that we know about this very dangerous person.

In a way I feel sorry for the poor sucker Brian, who believes Joan and went out of his way to ATTACK WOMEN he doesn’t know! He has been silent since we exposed the evidence of Joan’s email 2009 attacks on Kathy…and there is MORE evidence…so be aware…if you hang out with Joan Wheeler you will get burnt.

Joan Wheeler is a very dangerous person…we have been telling the world for a long long time….listen up and get away from her.

If you’re gonna tattle on others, make sure you tattle on yourself – Joan Wheeler paints herself as NEVER having done a thing to anybody else. (yeah, right). July 10, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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Found this on facebook. – In Joan Wheeler’s tell-all so-called “truthful” book, she made sure she told a lot of stuff that people were doing to her and I know for a fact that a lot of it was fabricated!

BUT Joan doesn’t tell what SHE has done to a lot of people. – And that’s why Gert and I have our blogs – to straighten out the twisted tales Joan presents in her book, AND to enlighten people on the things that Joan has done to us and others.


Halloween and other horrors. Joan Wheeler is a horror all year round! May 3, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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roflmao! – in case you need a refresher course in internet slang/shortcut – this means Roll On Floor Laughing MY Ass Off!

And this is just what I’m doing when reading Chimp’s new hatred post. And what bullshit – Chimp professes that he (and we know damn well it’s not a he, but Joan, hiding behind a made up person) – he and Joan don’t hate anyone. Really? Then why the continued use of Gertie and Ruthie – as personal bully digs and ridicule at us? Talk about being “fixated” – Joan is FIXATED on using the name Ruthie, as far back as December 2009. So drop the charade you fool. Or not – if you like making yourself into a laughing stock – then by all means- do so!

But I caught you Joan the Chimp – you fucked up! Because Pilgrim/Champ/Brian has been saying all along that Kathy has said nothing, but then all of sudden Chimps says “If 3 healthy healthy, mentally stable individuals insist on ganging up on one disaled person” – um, how did Kathy get into this all of a sudden? – Because Joan can’t stop lumping us all together. Idiot. Then Chimp says that Kathy seems to have lost interest. – What are you saying Chimp? Either Kathy is insisting on being on the team, or she has lost interest. MAKE UP YOUR MIND! (but see  – I’ve said it before over and over – Joan contradicts herself left and right, even in one paragraph, as we see right here.) And she makes stupid grammar mistakes – she repeated the word healthy – twice. She does that too. So we can tell by the writing style that Chimp is in fact Joan. – Um and another giveaway  that Joan and Chimp are the same – Joan’s posts are always full of misspellings – she can’t even spell the word disabled.

oh, yes, we are “attacking” a disabled person. Never mind this “disabled” person just was on a website two weeks ago ATTACKING pro-adoption people and infertile women. Oh give me a break – disabled my ass! Her herniated disc in her neck and other ailments did not stop HER from attacking and bullying other people online – so shove it JoanChimp.

Chimp also says: “No, I didn’t bother reading it. I’m not interested in adding any more lunacy to my existance..”  — What? do you mean you already HAVE lunacy in your existence? – You got that right you fool. — and by the way FOOL – there is no A in existence! Learn to spell.

Chimp goes on to say:  “The only reason for this blog is to try to get you to mind your own business.” — Excuse me you fool: JOAN’S GARBAGE BOOK AND WHAT SHE SAYS ABOUT US ON THE INTERNET IS OUR BUSINESS! WHEN SHE TALKS ABOUT HER BIRTH FAMILY AND HER BIRTH SISTERS –SHE IS TALKING ABOUT US AND THEREFORE IT IS OUR BUSINESS. – You clearly need to learn English pal.

Another giveaway this is really Joan talking is another attack on religion. Joan is obsessed with other people’s religions and people’s religious values. She is always ranting against the Catholic Church. In her book, on the internet, she said it to our father’s face, causing him to finally shove her out his life forever!

In September 2008, on her blog, Joan attacked Gert and mine’s pagan religion and brought up our “pagan values.” She attacked Kathy’s religion on her blog in October 2009. AND on pages 300-302, Joan is attacking us and putting us down for our choices in religion and spirituality.

Now we have another attack on our values. Joan, pay attention to your own filthy values – oh wait – you have none. Because for anyone to hurt her own sister like YOU did – like stealing hundreds of dollars from her, calling her place of employement for months trying to get her fired, AFTER you were told what you accused her of didn’t happen – WHO ARE YOU TO TALK ABOUT VALUES? But we see how judgmental and two-faced JoanChimp is – She can do anything she wants – but let someone else do the same thing she does – and all of sudden she gets spiritually endowed and preach-happy about values. Bitch.

Oh I absolutely love the crap Chimp says about me ripping wings off of flies and scaring children. WHAT AN ASSHOLE! – This is because Chimp Joan falls into the same HATE propaganda against pagans and shows us what a bigot she is. Just as she published erroneous and hateful propaganda in her book, this nutball comes on to say crap about pagans. What an asshole.

Ripping wings off of flies. What kind of MATURE person says this shit? My god, not even in The Wizard of Oz is the Wicked Witch of the West so hatefully portrayed. That movie perpetuates the wrongful charicature of a witch – green skinned, with a wart on her nose, flying around on a broomstick. But Elphaba NEVER ripped wings off flies. What crap are you listening to Joan? You are so laughable. roflmao! –

Scaring children? Oh – this goes back to her continual digs at me because she says I hate her kids, hate all kids, ridicules me for liking horror movies. Again – we see Chimp and Joan are the same person.

Scaring children? roflmao! In years past, John and I used to decorate our porch for holidays. We stopped when the porch floor got too rotted – we didn’t want anyone getting hurt. Even though we had the new porch put on 4 years ago – we haven’t decorated since – just haven’t had the time. Besides we want to put up lattice-work around the porch to semi-enclose it. And the lattice work will give us a better backdrop to hang things on.

Yes, we decorated for the Winter Solstice, which is the Pagan winter holiday. Got a problem with that Chimp? Too bad. Take it up with the Founding Fathers of this country because they wrote in Freedom of Religion in our constitution. Got something to say about the Constitution of the United States bitch?

But our favorite holiday is Halloween – well the popular American take on the Pagan Samhain. But we enjoy the fun that goes with the whole Halloween thing and Trick or Treat. Our neighbors would decorate their porches with smiling jack-o-lanterns, happy harvest scarecrows, hay bales, corn stalks. John and I – our jack-o-lanterns were scowling faces. We had skeletons and bats hanging from spiderwebs. Giant spiders and giant swamp rats everywhere. Ghouls, ghosts, and goblins were our decor fare.

And our house was the most popular in the neighborhood. John wore a black robe and hood, skeleton gloves and a ghoul mask. When the kids came up and yelled “Trick or Treat,” I would stand behind the door and open it slowly, then John would jump out. Yes, we did scare one girl – she was about 14 – she was scared so bad – she screamed, ran off our porch, across the street, and up the stairs onto the porch of a house across the street from us. Screaming as she went. Then she turned around, and came back, laughing her ass off. She said “You scared me so bad. But I love it!”

So for your enjoyment – here are some pictures of our house decorated for Halloween. You don’t like horror novels, movies or decor Joan – that’s fine. But your continued putting me down for it shows the world for what you are – a schoolyard bully ridiculing another person for their likes and their values.  YOU have shown the world what YOU really are.

We first started decorating our house in the mid 90’s starting with simple things, then graduating into more things.  I put up a small table, covered with an old sheet that I had lightly dyed purple and then dipped briefly into black dye. This gave it a real dirty “graveyard” look. The table had swamp rats and scowling jack-o-lanterns. Under the table, concealed by the sheet, were small speakers leading to a boombox just inside our door that played Halloween music and sound effects. Eventually, we put out another table, on the other side of the porch, that held a “flaming” cauldron, more ghouls and swamp rats and a fog machine.  I dont’ have any pictures that have the flames and fog going. But it looked great!

Here is our house Halloween 2000.  For the previous Winter Solstice, I had put up a huge display of lights to celebrate the coming of the new milennium, with a “2000” sign, that I left up for a whole year, incorporating it into my Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s day, 4th of July and Summer decor.

Here is Halloween 2001, with Brandy our DOG (not cat, you bimbo JoanChimp):

Here are two views of 2001’s decor in the daytime:

This is a skull that John hung in our rec room window. I don’t know what year this was taken, but you should see some of the ghoulish stuff we have in there! Oh yes – we love shopping at The Spirit of Halloween store. And we love going to the various Haunted House mazes in our area.

Here is John in 2001,  in his full costume holding our CAT Samantha. (not dog, JoanChimp).

Now, lastly, here is John in 2001, with the kids of our friends from around the block: ages 12, 4 and 5. Now if a 4 year old, and a 5 year old is clearly at ease with our ghoulish decorations, where does Joan get off saying that because of my pagan religion that I’m scaring kids.  – the one kid has his face blacked out for privacy reasons.


Ruth answers Champ April 26, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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So in her latest cyberbullying attack on her birth sisters, Joan uses one of her multiple personalities called Champ.  She really shows her true self in this piece of garbage. Despite her recent posts on her Forbidden Family website promoting peace, respect and love, and not harming anyone, and despite knowing full well that I don’t like to be called Ruthie, she goes out of her way to shove that name at me. So does she think she has hurt me? No, I don’t like to be called Ruthie, but dayam, I ain’t gonna lose any sleep over it. All she accomplished was to show the entire world what a bitch she is.

Gert has already torn apart this Champ in her post “Joan Wheeler has a new friend, by the name of Champ! don’t tell her we know, wink, wink!” – and I already placed a comment on it. (a good one too!)

Now supposedly, Champ is not Joan, but a good friend of Joan’s – but on the post, refuses to give his name. He says his name is not important. Oh yes it is buddy – because when you put shit out about someone on the internet (or anywhere for that matter, you show the world what you really are – a snively little gossip mongering COWARD.  But in reading the post, and reading between the line, Gert and I can see that Champ is no man, (double entrende intended)  but Joan herself. Because of the rhetoric, use of language, phrases, – see, we have been dealing with Joan’s bullshit writings far longer than she has been on the internet – for over 30 years. And we have read her writings, her filthy book, and a lot of other crap she has put out – for over 30 years. We have dealt with her in person, and on the phone. We have been in intimate conversations with her, arguments, and even screaming matches with her. We know how she thinks and we can recognize her foul stench for parsecs.

This is how Joan fantasizes herself as Champ – stepping on Ruthie. But you know, it certainly goes against her latest posting of promoting respect and not harming anyone – but we all know she’s a hypocrite.

So Champ – in my comment to Gert’s post, I said I had something for you – here you go – here’s one for starters –

and I got a whole box for you – in large size too! Just to fill your huge mouth.

Go get ’em Champ boy! ruff, ruff.

MilkBones are great. I used to give them to my Siberian Husky/Alaskan Malamute – Brandy. Brandy was a such a sweetheart – 65 pounds of love.  Now silly ass Joan in her book, relates a conversation she is having with a police detective about me and annoyance phone calls. At that time, I had my phone bill under the name of Brittany Sippel – to ward off people getting my phone number. In a letter Joan wrote to my niece Karen, Joan admits to knowing that my phone was listed under Brittany Sippel, but in her book, during this fictious conversation with the police detective, she has him saying to her, “Who’s Brandy Sippel?” and Joan says, “that’s Ruth’s cat. Why?” and the detective says, “well she’s got her phone number listed under Brandy Sippel.”

So what does this prove? That Joan can’t tell the difference between a cat and a dog, and by her own letter to Karen that says BRITTANY, not BRANDY – we see her book is not the truth. And the real DOG is Joan “Champ” Wheeler.

some examples of Joan Wheeler’s bad behavior – why nobody wants to hang out with her December 22, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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In her book, Joan complains about my cousin Gail. Gail died of cancer in 2003 at the age of 49. She had been battling it for a few years. And while she was battling cancer, she was being harassed by the bully Joan Wheeler.

Now my sister Gert had moved from Buffalo in 1982 and did not know a lot of what was happening in Buffalo. In an email yesterday, I mentioned something about Gail and Gert emailed me back and said she didn’t know all about the Gail thing. So I elaborated. Then I thought – I was going to get into this on the blog in the future, but since I typed it all out now, I may as well just go ahead and blog it now. So here is what I wrote to Gert this morning, via email. I have only changed a couple of names. Read on and see what a “nice” person Joan Wheeler is.

The Gail thing started in 1993 when Joan’s daughter got sick with the hypothroidism -and Joan wanted information if anyone else in the family had similar medical problems. no problems there, just a mother wanting to give info to the doctors. Since she had burnt her bridges with Gert and Ruth, and was in the process of burning them with Kathy, she turned to the extended family. Nobody paid attention to her and just said they didn’t know anything. Dad was his usual helpful self – meaning – no help at all. Gail got a few phone calls from Joan and ignored her. Then Joan sent a packet of medical information about her daughter to Gail. Gail saw the return address and marked “Return to Sender.” Joan then called her at 10pm, when Gail and Kevin were in bed and left a screaming message on the machine – “don’t you know this is IMPORTANT MEDICAL INFORMATION THAT COULD SAVE YOUR SON?” Kevin wanted to pick up the phone and bitch Joan out but Gail said to just ignore her.

 Sometime in 1997 or 1998, Joan had a busted windshield and went to get it fixed. By chance – the repairman was R.M.III. (h they were both thrilled that they were cousins. And Joan went to his house for dinner. When Gail found out – she told him to stay away from her because of the shit she had done to me. R. gave Joan the cold shoulder and hung up on her once. She called his job and tried to make trouble for him (sound familiar?) In the meantime, I got a letter from Joan accusing Gail, R, me and Francine of plotting against her. Fran came by for lunch and I read her the letter and Fran said, “but – but – I never met your cousin R.”

 Joan started writing letters to Gail, which she kept refusing. Gail made a complaint to the Town of Eden police. They sent Joan a letter telling her NOT to contact Gail. She sent Gail another letter. (by this time it was 1999). Gail was about to return to sender and drop it in the mailbox when she noticed something funny about the return address. It had the wrong zipcode on it – and Joan’s street address wasn’t quite right. The zipcode was actually GAIL’S ZIPCODE! and Joan’s street name was not spelled right. This would make the post office not be able to find Joan’s house and bring it RIGHT BACK TO GAIL. Gail said “enough.” and took it right to the police. They called Joan up and asked did you not get our letter telling you not to contact Mrs. B.?” She said yes. They asked her, “and did you just send her this letter?” She said yes. The police said ok, and hung up. he opened the letter and started reading it and was laughing, and Gail said what was it? And he started reading it – it was the same bullshit about Gail refusing to learn medical information to save her son, and plotting with Ruth to “get” her. While this was going on – the phone at the police station rang and it was Joan wanting to know if they, the Town of Eden police had called her. They said yes – and you will be hearing from the courts as well. It was the TOWN OF EDEN POLICE, NOT GAIL, who instituted the harassment charges on Joan – coincidentally the exact same month that I hauled her into court over the shit letter telling me John got the next-door neighbor pregnant. And because she used her friend Bo’s address (Carol in the book), without her permission – Bo. took her to court as well. So in one month, Joan had to answer harassment charges in Tonawanda, Buffalo, and Eden.

 From 1997 to 1999, Gail got several phone calls and several letters from Joan – and she refused to read them, and DID NOT CALL ME – to keep me out of it. It wasn’t until AFTER she got her one-year order of protection against Joan (the same as me and Bo.) – did she call me and tell me what she did. She wanted to prove to the family that it was not RUTH, but Joan who was doing the shit. And she called Dad to tell him that too.

 And it really pisses me off that Joan had the fucking nerve to show up at Gail’s wake. I was talking to R. III, when Joan and her boyfriend D.s (the one she met online) walked in. R. and I both gave her a dirty look and we both needed to go outside and get a smoke. While we were out there – we noticed everybody else was out there – either standing near us and smoking, or off to the side having fresh air. – My husband John went back inside to take a look – and came out – and said the whole place had emptied out! Even Dad came outside, talking with a couple of the Herr relatives.

 So Joan walks in – and everybody walks out. Even J. left. AND J. asked me when J.’s husband died if Joan would be coming. When I told her no, she said “thank god.” Nobody wants that bitch around.

 (Ruth’s additional comment, on my facebook page, on a link to this post, one of R.’s sisters wrote this:

 D. M. –  Have No Fear I Will Never Run Away From Joan Wheeler, I Will Speak For My Family, She Is Nothing To Us And Never Will Be, She Is A Blight On This EARTH…….NEVER GIVE UP FIGHTING ARE FAMLIYS HONOR,,,


1. RuthDecember 22, 2011

to clarify – at the end that was J. asking if Joan was going to show up at her husband Jerry’s funeral.

I miss him very much too. He was a wonderful man. And contrary to how Joan portrays the extended family “hating” my father (because of him not wanting experimental cancer treatments for my mother and not saving her life) – this cousin AND her husband, ALWAYS respected my father. And he of them. She always called my Dad, Uncle Leonard (because he was her uncle- and used to babysit us kids) and her husband always called Dad by his first name.

So contrary to how Joan portrays the Herr family as all hating my father – no – they didn’t.

Gert here:
You know…as I’m reading this and I know the characters, it dawns on me that NO ONE CAN MAKE THIS SHIT UP!
No, this is NOT any kind of story to ‘get Joan’! This ACTUALLY happened, by Joan, she has always caused severe trouble within the family, not just to us siblings, as this account of Ruth’s details, but everyone in the family.

do people wonder WHY we siblings have refuted the book Joan wrote, and why we are setting the record straight, and exposes Joan Wheeler for every toxic thing she did to us and our family.

Beware of Joan Wheeler!

3. RuthDecember 22, 2011

you are absolutely correct Gert – I did not make ANYthing up here at all!
And the sisters of R.III, having known what Joan did to their brother and their Aunt Gail, HATE Joan. NOT from any badmouthing that Ruth could have told them – but from THE FACTS OF JOAN’S OWN STUPID BEHAVIOR!

Joan says in her book that I, Ruth, turned Gail against her. No, Joan, YOU turned Gail against you. Do you honestly think that someone, in bed, trying to get to sleep because they have to get up early to go to work, likes getting a message on their answering machine from a screaming lunatic? (oh, that’s right Joan – you never HAD to get up early because you never held down a decent job in your life).

Moving right along – and to clarify another point – there was nothing wrong with Gail’s son. He was in perfect health. Still is. So what was that shit all about? “important medical information that could save your son’s life!” What a f’ing moron! Ok, so Joan’s daughter had some medical issues that may or may not be shared with biological relatives. You just don’t go around SCREAMING such things on somebody’s answering machine! By the time Gail got around to telling me this, several years had passed and Gail and I had were laughing our asses off about it.

Yes, Joan really knows how to impress people. Too bad it’s NOT the impression that she wants people to know about her – there is NO picture that I could paint about Joan that would tell another person how she is – it would not compare to the reality of her behavior! Me telling Gail what a nutball Joan is simply is not the same as Gail having heard first hand Joan’s screaming mouth – yelling stupid ridiculous garbage! And Joan even chronicles in her book how she screamed at people! and physically and mentally abused her own adopted mother and her own son!

Same thing about this blog. I am telling the truth here – and if some morons out there want to continue to associate with Joan – well, I can’t stop them. They will have to find out first hand what a nut she is. Her latest boyfriend broke up with her – after only a few months. Her whole book chronicles one broken relationship after another broken relationship – not just her ex-husband or boyfriends, but – family members from both her adopted and birth families and friends. Even former foster parents of her birth sisters, step-aunt and uncle of her birth sisters. I can add to the list. A former teen pop star and his wife. Two former landlords, a lawyer, a former neighhbor (who lived in the apartment next to her), my ex-husband, my friend, my present husband.

Everybody who has dealings with Joan and eventually gets to know her, and/or suffers from her shitty behavior all do the same thing – run the hell away from her!

UPDATE Jan 18, 2014…via Gert

I want to add a post that is related here where Joan attempted to get my daughter to commit a crime so that Joan could pursue a medical malpractice case. Yep Joan is one sleazy character.



Atttention Lori Corangelo; Amfor (Americans for Open Records) re: Joan Wheeler, Forbidden Family December 11, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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LORI CORANGELO AND OTHERS: I think you’d better read this: from the pdf. file of Trafford’s Publishing’s “Terms and Conditions.” These are the Terms and Conditions that Joan Wheeler agreed to when she signed (under false pretenses) her contract with Trafford and the ones that she VIOLATED – she had hate speech in her book, obscene language, had me saying things that I didn’t, labeled me as a computer hacker with a criminal record and used MY photograph. 


2.1. You represent that you are the sole copyright owner of the Work and all of its content.

 2.2. You represent that the Work does not infringe upon any statutory or common law right of copyright, libel or privacy of any third party.

  2.4. You further represent that the Work does not contain illegal, unlawful or objectionable material including, but not limited to, pornography, obscenity or hate speech. You acknowledge that the Work is not plagiarized and does not include falsely attributed statements of third parties.

 3.(Trafford’s Legal Responsibility
3.2. We reserve the right to refuse to provide and/or to discontinue ALL Services upon our discovery of any violation by you of these Terms and Conditions, any other actions, omissions or misconduct by you with respect to Work, and/or your performance under these Terms and Conditions. In the event a complaint is made by a third party regarding the Work, we reserve the right to suspend the Services in accordance with Section 7.1 until such time as the complaint is satisfactorily resolved, as determined by us in our sole discretion.

Now Lori go and read these two posts and read them word for word so you can UNDERSTAND what Joan Wheeler did –

Joan Wheeler FINALLY announces the demise of her book Forbidden Family, but still shows evidence of her silly delusions

My complaint to Trafford Publications concerning the slander and libel contained in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler

 Tell us again Lori of how Joan made a “mistake” – you are full of shit, and so is Joan.

You want open records Lori? That equates to the TRUTH, does it not Lori? We are open and TRUTHFUL here on our blogs. Can you handle the TRUTH Lori?

from Gert McQueen’s blog: Do some adoptees, that have mental illness, get it from their genes or environment or because they are adopted? Joan Wheeler presents her views! November 7, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Today, November 7, 2011, Gert McQueen posted this on her blog. I am posting it here, in it’s entirety, because it’s so important. – Read, and please learn from it.
by Gert McQueen 
Do some adoptees, that have mental illness, get it from their genes or environment or because they are adopted? Joan Wheeler presents her views!
The question was raised on Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change…
« on: October 24, 2011, 03:28:47 PM »
If you are diagnosed mentally ill…. do you feel it is genetics, crazy upbringing by aparents or is it just the life on an adoptee? where do you think it comes from.
 1adoptee AKA Joan Wheeler answers
« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2011, 12:41:17 PM »
Nancy Verrier’s other book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, is one that ought to be given to any therapist who treats an adoptee. Verrier addresses the core issues of abandonment and loss. On page 429: “…proceeds from the separation trauma. It would be a huge mistake to try to untangle the adoptee’s relationship to the adoptive parents without understanding of the lens through which the adoptee views them. All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well. Something devastating happened to him which makes him distrust close relationships.” … “Instead of pathologizing society’s penchant for separating babies and their mothers, we pathologize the victims of a grave wrongdoing… We need to normalize the adoptee’s and the birth mother’s responses to this separation or at least come up with a better diagnosis, because what is happening is that inaccurate diagnoses are resulting in poor or harmful treatment.” “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions….The most notorious is the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. This term is frequently used within the mental health profession as little more than (page 430) a sophisticated insult…..Adoptees are not Borderlines!” Basically, adoptees do not split in their minds. Adoptees actually do have two mothers and two fathers. (my words) On page 448: “This brings us to a more accurate diagnosis for what adoptees and birth mothers are suffering from —- post-traumatic stress disorder. …trauma is based in reality, unlike other psychological disorders, trauma is based on a true experience.” Get the book and ask your therapist to read it.
 What she say? Oh right…abandonment and loss! Are adoptees the only people that have experienced these things? Most of this comes from a certain point of view that is current in the psycho-babble of ‘healing the adoptee’ and this babble gives these angry militant adoptees a license to go out and browbeat everyone and everything in favor of adoption. These people ought to be ashamed and the public informed…which is what I’m doing.
Any child that has been placed with someone, other than an parent, for any reason, might suffer from abandonment and loss. I know that I DID and I’m not an adoptee! I have had issues with ‘distrust in close relationships’ too, not because I was adopted but because I felt the abandonment and loss that comes from having a parent die when I was a small child and having been placed in a foster home! These issues are NOT the sole property of adoptees!
It just might be that if a person has a mental illness it just means that…they have a mental illness and they ought to stop laying blame, for it, upon adoption. Joan Wheeler will never see the world in the way it truly is because she is a true believer in the ‘world according to Joan’ and we must not confuse her with anything but her own facts.
Joan says: Basically, adoptees do not split in their minds. Adoptees actually do have two mothers and two fathers.
Well…I too had more than one mother and father…I had foster parents!! And I was also grateful to have had someone who cared for me!
Joan says: post-traumatic stress disorder. …trauma is based in reality, unlike other psychological disorders, trauma is based on a true experience
It seems to me that some types of adoptees are just not able to come to terms with their life like regular people do. Here is the bottom line, these people relish their pain, they love their pain and wouldn’t know what to do without their pain! Come on…PTSD!!! This is nonsense! Joan might suffer from it but that’s probably due to her own inabilities over her life to come to terms with the reality of life…she was adopted…she had a crazy home life with adoptive parents…she and only she destroyed every relationship in her birth family because of her negative behaviors. If Joan suffers from PTSD it is NOT because she was adopted, its because she has always HAD to argue with everyone over the fact that she was ADOPTED! Get over it already.
oh brother, here we again. The poor little misunderstood adoptee. As if they are the only ones on the planet that had bad stuff happen to them. Want some cheese with that whine my dear?

“All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well..

Really? – What I UNDERSTAND is that when I was reunited with my adopted-out birth sister Joan Wheeler, after I opened my life and arms and heart to her is that is was clear that her morals and values were NOT like mine, or other members of my family. We were raised not to steal, not to lie, to treat people with kindness. Unlike Joan. I don’t know where she learned it from – but just a few years after our reunion she turned into a bitch.

She lied to me, manipulated me, stole from me, harassed me, set me up to phone her by sending me forged letters and greeting cards, (and when I phoned, she hung up on me, then told the police that it was ME who was placing annoyance phone calls), then she called my job to get me fired, tried to break me and my fiance up, wrote letters to his mother trashing me, wrote letters to elected officials, called child abuse on herself, implicating me, sent me a letter telling me my infertile husband got the next door neighbor pregnant, writes a book full of slander and libel. – Sooo what’s to understand?

So, let me get this straight – in Nancy Verrier’s book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, she says, “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions”

I don’t need to have doctorate as a “helping profession” (does she mean psyciatrists, psychologists, mental health counselors), to know that WRONGFUL THINGS were done to me by an out-of-control person who refuses to grow up.

As for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – many many people suffer from it. But that does not give ANYbody an excuse to break the law, harass other people, bully other people, or generally be a total idiot. My husband is a Vietnam Veteran who has PTSD and still somehow holds down a job, owns a house, takes care of the house and me, is a law-abiding person, does not bully or bother anyone. So don’t give that crap that Joan Wheeler’s behavioral problems needs to be “understood.” BULL! She’s a trouble-making liar, plain and simple as that.

so getting back to the queston on the forum: “If you are diagnosed mentally ill…. do you feel it is genetics, crazy upbringing by aparents or is it just the life on an adoptee? where do you think it comes from.” – – I don’t care where it comes from – all I know is that I have been used and abused by Joan Wheeler and I don’t give a damn about any so-called “trauma” Joan has endured – from anything – all I know is IT DOES NOT GIVE HER THE RIGHT TO TURN AROUND AND TRAUMATIZE ME.

I was NOT traumatized by HER adoption! so get that thought right out of your heads. I suffered from the loss of MY mother. Then my father’s disastrous second marriage. Yet, I managed to grow up into a law-abiding person, who is contributing member of society, a person who has held down the same job in the same facility for 39 years, who saw disinetgrating quality of life issues on my street (drug use, litter, rodents) and organized a block club and worked with local government officials to correct those problems. And for that – Joan ridicules me in her book. What asshole ridicules a person who is trying to better American society? Joan Wheeler – that’s who. Oh, I’m SORRY, poor little Joan was adopted, and despite the title of that book (adoptees grow up) – Joan Wheeler will NEVER grow up. – excuse me while I go puke.

you know what this all boils down to? – The failure of people to accept SELF-RESPONSIBILTY for their own actions!

It’s so much easier to place the blame on someone or something else when you fuck up.

“The devil made me do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.

“You made do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.

“My rotten childhood made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.

“My adoptive parents made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.

We are human and we will all make mistakes. The point is, when you make a mistake, own up to it. There is no devil, no other person, be they your parent (adopted or birth), other family member, boss, rude cashier at the store, co-worker, customer, neighbor, that can MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT TO DO!

I have said before on my blog – when Joan has written lies about me on the internet – it wasn’t me who forced my way into her house, hold her gunpoint, march her to the computer and “make” her type out lies about me – it was Joan herself, who made the concsious decision to write her lies. And she has gotten caught in some lies, some contradictions on the internet. We have copied and pasted her words, making notes of the dates and place where she said something, and then a few months later, we have seen her contradict herself on the internet. Again, I didn’t hold a gun to her to make her make a liar out of herself. She alone did that. As it was Joan’s conscious decision all these years to commit those harassments against me and others. She just doesn’t have the courage and backbone to stand up for herself and admit it. She’s a sniveling little coward and will just lay all the blame on me and her other sisters for the failure of our reunion. Or blame someone else.

There’s a cute little thing about blame – when you point a finger at someone, look at your hand, you will see your other fingers all pointing back at — YOU!

Stop with the whining, the blaming, the nonsense that “I was adopted, I can’t help myself” bullshit. ‘Cos that’s all it is – BULLSHIT!

And if you’re mentally ill, for god’s sake, take your damn medications so you won’t be a nuisance to other. Because we all have busy lives and we don’t have time for you losers. Maybe you didn’t ask to be mentally ill, and for that, I’m genuinely sorry, just like I feel bad for people with MS, cancer, cystic fibrosis. HOWEVER, my sympathy stops when you make MY life miserable and then turn around gleefully and say, “It’s not my fault – I got PTSD!” – ‘cos I don’t buy that excuse either.

Lesson for Joan Wheeler and all other whiny adoptees October 10, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Get off your ass and make something of yourself. Nobody else is going to do it for you. Life ain’t easy – you either sink or swim. And if you think somebody is going to throw you a life preserver – you are dead wrong. And shaddup your dam whining. Life is full of pain and disappoinments, so you when shit happens, ya cry a little, mope a little – then you get it on with it! 55 years is just too damn long to be whining about something that happened when you were an infant. Acknowledge your pain, then get on with life!

And if you make a mistake – and everybody does – own up to it. And just because you think YOUR life is miserable – that doesn’t give you the right to make other people’s lives miserable. If you lie about someone, steal from them, act like an asshole around them, and they decide not to be around you – be a damn Woman and own up to the fact that it was because of YOUR actions and words that they can’t stand you.

If you talk shit about people, don’t get all surprised when they talk shit about you in turn.

There is no Prince Charming – the only person who can rescue you is —- YOU!

–  RIP and Thank You to Steve Jobs.

Gert McQueen answers the secret is out – more evidence of misdeeds and lies by Joan Wheeler May 19, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen

There are many essays or blog posts that I have written that have not been seen yet on this blog. Seeing that we are discussing and showing our EVIDENCE I feel it is time for the following to be posted. It is part of a larger essays where I discuss many pieces of evidence about Joan’s lying. And we do have the physical documents to go with it. Here we go:

BUT FIRST…UPDATE, August 2016,

as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…



keep this all in mind as you READ this EVIDENCE, then ask your self…is Joan really to be believed?

The next pieces of evidence are in connection to the article The secret is out that Joan wrote in 1990 published in England and the aftermath from it. This article caused great concern because in the article Joan uses her sisters’ real names, interestingly enough not mine. In any event, the publication of that article is what caused certain letters to be written, alerting those agencies, listed in the article, that privacy was not afforded to the persons mentioned in the article. These letters were not ‘harassments’ but legitimate letters of concern for the breach of privacy the author committed. It is only Joan who turns these letters into gross obscene letters in her fabrication of telling of them. 

As I have stated in previous posts, I did not write any letters to Joan and it is a falsehood for Joan to write in her book on pg 308 ‘…my sisters wrote harassing letters in the months after our family reunion of 92’. Which sisters? She does not say, so how can anyone be sure whom Joan is referring to?

(Ruths’ note: as usual, Joan lumps all three of her sisters as one entity. Only thing is, we didn’t write harassing letters to her, either individually or collectively.)

On pg 310 she writes ‘…the 40 page letter that my sisters put together…’ and ‘…my sisters included copies of long handwritten letters they wrote to the nine major adoption…’ Wrong! Joan does not name the sisters because there were no sisters, in the plural. Ruth and I never wrote to those nine major adoption agencies listed in the article. Kathy wrote legitimate letters of concern for the breach of privacy; all else is pure nonsense and fabrication by Joan. Furthermore, Kathy wrote an seven-page letter, not 40 pages; Joan loves hyperbole! (see graphics #4a-4g below).

Hyperbole…exaggeration: deliberate and obvious exaggeration used for effect.

Again, we shall revisit this issue, when I return to the book, after I complete this presentation of the evidence of Joan’s own behavior of fabrication, telling lies, doing harassments, and other deeds that are not in her book. For now it is sufficient to state that we three sisters, who are refuting the lies of Joan, possess proof that she is a liar and user of hyperbole solely for the effect of putting us sisters in bad light.

As part of the fallout from the breach of privacy and Joan’s consistent disregard for returning Kathy’s personal property to her, Kathy in England , demanded her property returned to her. There were negotiations; monies sent by Kathy to Joan, for shipping, back and forth letters, but all of Kathy’s efforts were stalled by Joan because Joan had excuse after excuse for not sending them.

Evidence here: In two letters that Joan wrote to Kathy (ca.1992) we learn from Joan, in one, ‘…yes I did receive the money order…put it in a special account for when I have time to pack everything for you…can’t do it right now…don’t have a car…can’t do anything right now…Colby lost his job…trying to cope with unemployment…I am working two part-time jobs…pay is low…with this new upset…going and finding your scrapbooks will just have to wait…. the records are safe…I’ll let you know when I can get the stuff together…before Christmas…’  and in another ‘…have been sad that our relationship ended abruptly and that I have caused you pain…felt the need to reach out to you…need to apologize for overstepping my bounds in your life…I respect your right to privacy and am sorry for my past behaviors…I ask forgiveness…and hope that we can be friends again…since I’m rather busy now, I will try to pack up your things sometime before Christmas…working two part-time jobs and will be going back to college in the fall…’ (see graphics 1 and 2 below).

So we see from Joan’s own words; that she did receive money to send Kathy’s things back to her, that she put the money in a special account, for when she has time, but she can’t do it now, no car, husband lost a job, coping with unemployment, working two jobs, pay is low, new upset, getting your stuff will just have to wait, let you know when I can get the stuff to you later but sad that our relationship ended abruptly and I caused you pain, need to reach out to you, to apologize, respect your right to privacy, sorry for past behaviors, ask forgiveness, can be friends, but I’m rather busy now, will try to pack your stuff before Christmas, working two jobs and going back to college in the fall.

Would you, reader, buy that brunch of boloney? She was given the money to ship the items but found excuses for not doing so and yet she has the money and time to go back to college! How nice! Priorities!

Neither did Kathy, buy it that is, and when Kathy puts the pressure on to get her property back, Joan enlists the ‘big guy’; Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, the very same that wrote the forward of this book of lies and fabrications! It ought to be noted that the last time the good Dr. saw a ‘draft’ of the book was in 2006, three years before publication! Joan has done extensive rewrites since he saw it. I wonder if Dr Hoksbergen would approve of the published work? Perhaps I shall write him! I’ll think about that!

In the meanwhile, I’ll just inform folks with, yes that’s right, evidence here, just what Dr Hoksbergen said to my sister Kathy on Joan’s behalf. (see graphic #3 below). It ought to be remembered that Joan is a very good con artist. Joan can play the part of the misused, misunderstood adoptee, that the birth family seems to go out of their way to make life miserable for her. This letter by Dr Hoksbergen was written to Kathy in April 1993.

In part he says: ‘…you will be amazed that you suddenly get a letter from a complete stranger…(goes into his educational and professional backgrounds)…connected with the phenomenon of adoption …conference in 1987 I met your sister Joan Wheeler…tried to help her with some of her questions and problems…I very well know the complexity of her life situation and emotional stress this often gives to her…sometimes we have to give adoptees some more time and understanding then we do in other occasions…conference in April I had a long discussion with Joan about many important family related questions. It has become clear to me that she is very sad about the problems she seems to have with you. It is a pity that rather uncomplicated questions of yours, has given deep going emotional stress to at least Joan and as far as I understand also to you. Let me be more clear: you have asked her to send back your goods…last year Joan had a lot of material problems…not having a car, losing her jobs etc…Joan does not have the money…(goes into detail about weight and costs)…it is an idea to ask Joan what precisely you definitely want to have back as soon as possible…the rest could be taken back slowly, when you visit your friends and relations in the USA…to my opinion problems like these should not divide people…related…who might need each other…when people live far away from each other…things easily might become complicated…I would ask you to forgive Joan what you think she did wrongly…I’m sure that her intensions are good…but she has problems to carry out the things you asked her…I know she would love it so much to have a good friendship with you…she has tried to see you in Liverpool…but she does not have the money for it…it is a useful idea if you write me back about your suggestions…if you prefer this in stead of writing directly to Joan…I know that she very much want to solve the problems you have with each other…’

Okay! Here’s what I see in this communication; first and foremost intimidation by a professional with the use of a condescending tone to a woman who has already paid to have her personal property return and is being denied justice. Secondly, what I see is, the continuation of the mixture of intimidation as well as a good dose of browbeating, which btw is somewhat common with the professional attitudes of doctors.

‘phenomenon of adoption’  …since when is adoption a phenomenon?

‘complexity of her life situation and emotional stress’ …do only adoptee have complexity and emotional stress, is this some kind of new ‘condition’ that the rest of the population doesn’t have?

‘give adoptees some more time and understanding then we do in other occasions’ …again, what makes the adoptee some kind of special needs person? Does this mean they are in the same category as the physically and mentally ‘challenged’ individuals are in (for those that are not PCs they are commonly called retarded)?

‘she is very sad about the problems she seems to have with you’ …oh so Joan needs a professional to communicate that sentiment?

‘it is a pity’ …no shit!

‘Let me be more clear’ …by all means, what he is saying is that Kathy and by extension the rest of the birth family ‘needs’ to understand the special conditions that the adoptee has and we must alter our views.

(Ruth’s note: the birth family is not considered to be human, with our own human needs, desires, etc. ONLY the adoptee matters. – BULLSHIT – I am just as IMPORTANT as the adoptee, they are NOT the center of the universe, just because in their view, they got shafted. LOTS of people the world over get shafted every day, adopted or not. Life sucks. DEAL WITH IT.)

‘Joan does not have the money’ … she was given the money, what happened to it and even if she wasn’t given the money why is it that she can’t give back someone else’s property?

(Ruth’s note: What happened to this money, that Joan says she put in a “special account?” I know what happened to it – the same thing that happened to MY money that Joan and I had in a joint checking account for the purpose of buying real estate in 1990 – Joan STOLE it – used if for HER living expenses).

‘had a lot of material problems’ …is Joan the only person in the world with problems, does not Kathy have anything in her life that should be considered here?

‘the rest could be taken back slowly, when you visit your friends and relations in the USA’   …an assumption that Kathy will be visiting the USA, was never in the negotiations to begin with, that’s a direct attempt at turning the whole thing back onto Kathy.

‘to my opinion’ …amazing that he didn’t send Kathy a bill for his opinion, what did it cost Joan for getting the doctor to write this letter?

(Ruth’s note: I wonder as well. All evidence points to  Joan and the doctor being waaay beyond professional ties.)

‘‘ask you to forgive Joan what you think she did wrongly’ …excuse me! what right does this guy have to say such a thing?

‘that her intensions are good’ …intensions my ass, any intelligent person knows that following through is what matters!

‘to have a good friendship with you’ …that falls squarely onto Joan’s shoulders and no one else!

‘it is a useful idea if you write me back.’ …no thank you!

‘that she very much want to solve the problems you have with each other’ …we have heard that before!

So there you have it, the evidence of Joan Wheeler’s own behavior of fabrication, telling lies, doing harassments, and other deeds that are not in her book, Forbidden Family.

Ruth’s additional note – examine carefully Dr. Hoksbergen letter to Kathy – Joan told him that it would cost about $500.00 to ship her belongings to her. Really? Kathy enlisted the help of our father to get her belongings back. My father never owned a car, never learned to drive. So what he did, was TAKE A TAXI-CAB to Joan’s house and get Kathy’s belongings and took them to his house, packed them up and shipped them over to Kathy in three different shipments. On July 7, 1993, the first shipment went out, costing my father $52.75. On August  7, 1993, the second shipment went out, costing $45.95. On November 23, 1993, the third and final shipment went out, costing $52.95. The total my father paid was $150.95 – far less than the $500.00 Joan led Dr. Hoskbergen to believe. And this bullshit happened only 3 years after Joan conned me out of several hundred dollars! Joan is a liar, a thief and a con-artist. She belongs in jail! The letters she wrote to Kathy in 1992 (graphics 1 and 2, are the same kind of nonsense she had feeding me in 19990 and 1991 about the money she stole from me. Apologies, crocodile tears, promises of repayment, excuse after excuse why she couldn’t pay me back, blah, blah, blah, until I finally had enough of her lies and bullshit and turned my back on her completely – I lost around $700.00 to her, and that doesn’t even cover the interest I was paying every month – yes, interest – it wasn’t even MY money Joan stole – it was money I borrowed from the bank – Joan put me into debt – I couldn’t afford to fix my car, I was forced to take a bus in the snow and cold, while Joan drove a car, which she fixed with MY (borrowed) money! As I noted above – this money was in a joint checking account to buy real estate – Joan stole it for her own day-to-day living expenses. After I washed my hands of her in 1991, she went to find another mark – she tried to play Kathy for a fool – she got 50 bucks out of Kathy. Now you know why her birth sisters turned their backs on her. Joan also did NOT return all of Kathy’s belongings: missing are valuable Beatles collectibles: Beatles bubble gum sets, copies of The Beatles Fan Club magazine, a signed sketch by original Beatle member Stuart Sutcliffe. By not returning these items (and others) – Joan is guilty of THEFT. Joan has been asked for years to return these items, I personally saw them in the attic of her house on Swinburne St. in the late 1980’s, so she cannot LIE and say she doesn’t have them.

See the graphics 5a and 5b, below – my father’s receipts! Proof positive that Joan is a liar and a con-artist and LIED to her palsie-walsie, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen. And Dr. Hoksbergen, was so stupid as to be conned by Joan, stuck his nose into our family business, and got a complaint made to his employer, Utrecht University about his unprofessionalism. He apparently didn’t learn his leasson, because in 2006, he was conned by Joan again into writing a forward to her lying book. Unless he wasn’t really conned after all – won’t be the first time a man was drawn into a woman’s web. Just look what Arnold Schwarzenegger did! The bigger they are – the harder they fall. Arnold just fell. Joan just fell. Who’s next? I sent Dr. Hoksbergen a private message via facebook for his explanation and a public apology for his contribution to this lying piece of trash book. He hasn’t responded yet. If he doesn’t, I’ll know my assessment of him is correct.

1. April 27, 1992 Joan apologizes to Kathy (breach of privacy, using Kathy’s name in Secret is Out article, offers up excuses

2. mid 1992, Joan admits to receiving Kathy’s money order, offers MORE excuses

3. Rene Hoksbergen’s letter to Kathy, April 19, 1993; says cost to ship her belongings will be $500.00

4a Kathy’s letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 1

4b Kathy’s letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 2

4c Kathy’s letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 3

4d Kathy’s letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 4

4e Kathy’s letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 5

4f Kathy’s letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 6

4g Kathy’s letter to Hoksbergen, May 2, 1993, page 7

5a Shipping receipts, July 17, 1993 – $52.75 and August 7, 1993 – $45.95

5b Shipping receipt November 23, 1993 – $52.25

Nicole Urdang’s amazon.com review of Joan Wheeler’s trash book Forbidden Family, and Ruth Pace’s rebuttal (re-post) May 15, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In recent posts, we indicated that a Buffalo, NY therapist, Nicole S. Urdang, who wrote a review on Amazon.com for Joan’s book removed her review. We were in error. The review is still there, but hidden. But I found it.

Ms. Urdang writes:
This is an incredible book. Two books actually. One a memoir and one a call to arms for all adoptees.

Joan chronicles her own deeply moving experience and uses that as a springboard to examine wider issues affecting all adoptees and their parents.

An essential addition to your library if you are involved with adoption either personally or professionally.

 I left this comment:

Ruth Pace says:

This book has been pulled from publication due to an incredible amount of slander and libel, and the author’s use of a family photo on the back cover, that she has NO copyrights to. She never bothered to obtain written permission from those whose likeness she is trying to make money off.
The book is of no help to anyone who has any adoption anxiety concerns, except that it is a chronicle of a woman losing her mind. the author details her alcoholism, anti-social behavior, rages, descent into depression. maybe it could help propel someone into therapy, but the author herself, despite admitting to being in therapy for years, has never learned any life lessons, continuing to blame all her woes on everybody else.

 Now, going back to Ms. Urdang’s review – she says that this book is a “call to arms for all adoptees.” Why? Because Joan herself is mentally ill? Because Joan herself cannot accept reality? The reality being that in 1956 when my mother died, things were NOT as they are today – there were no daycare centers – my father had to go to work – he had no siblings – his parents were elderly and could not provide care for an infant – my mother’s siblings all had large families themselves, MY FATHER HAD NO CHOICE – HE WAS NOT COERCED INTO GIVING JOAN TO ADOPTION! Would Joan have wanted to lie in a crib unattended all day while my father was at his job? Or should he have stayed home and earned no money, and therefore we would all ended up in the streets. There was no welfare system as we have today.

 These are the facts of Joan’s early life – it is her REFUSAL to accept them is what is causing her the great pain and frustration of her adoption.

 In her book she twists the facts around – my mother’s sister did indeed know who adopted Joan and where she was living. She did NOT tell us about her. But when we became adults, we did ask her, and she only told us the name: Joan Wheeler. When I was 20 years old, I placed phone calls to Wheelers listed in the phone book. When I got to Edward, a young woman answered, and when I heard her speak, she sounded exactly like my other sister. I was not drunk when I made this call, as Joan writes in her book.

 Two years later, 1974, we called her and were reunited with her. But by 1981, Joan began interfering with our lives, calling child abuse on one sister, stealing bead trim off the wedding dress of another sister, (and the dress was originally my mother’s)  lying, manipulating people to create strife and tension and fighting between family members. By 1990, she stole hundreds of dollars from me, in 1993, she filed false police reports on me, in 1994-95, she called my employer repeatedly to get me fired, she wrote letters to elected officials giving out personal details of my life, in 1999, she sent me a letter telling me my husband got the next-door neighbor pregnant, and much, much more.

 These actions, that caused me and my family much pain and grief did cause us to turn our backs on her. Would you want to associate with someone who files false police reports on you and calls your job to get you fired?

Perhaps Joan does have a beef against the adoption system because she feels that her adoptive parents “lied” to her. THAT IS NOT MY CONCERN! Just because they lied to her, does NOT give her the right to do all those things to us, her biological kin. Obviously the people who adopted and raised her did not instill a proper value system in her. Again,THAT IS NOT MY CONCERN, as long as Joan’s value system does not cause me and mine any harm. The problem is, it has. Big time.

 Because of Joan Wheeler’s actions she was banished from our family. She will not accept this. She will not accept the consequences of her own actions. She cannot get it through her head that because of the many times she has HURT us, we don’t want her around us. It is her refusal to get these things through her head that is causing her pain. And at this point, I don’t give a damn as to whatever “trauma” she has gone through in her life. I am dealing with the trauma that Joan has caused ME.  And to see this lie-filled book, to open this book, to read on these pages, LIES about myself, is HURTFUL.

 A call to arms? Why? So these “damaged” individuals can turn around and do damage to other people? NO WAY!

 So now this lying book has been pulled off the market, good riddance I say.

 And I add this small comment to Ms. Urdang, indeed to EVERYbody who knows Joan Wheeler, whether personally in Buffalo, or on the internet: TELL HER TO STAY AWAY FROM ME AND MY FAMILY AND STOP WRITING LIES ABOUT US.

 Joan got slapped down and slapped down real hard with the pulling of her precious book from publication. And that’s the consequences of her actions. That’s life Joan, DEAL WITH IT. TAKE YOUR PSYCHOSES AWAY FROM US AND LEAVE US ALONE!

My letter (Jan 18, 2011) to Nicole S. Urdang, therapist, who thought the trash book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler was a good book, but then pulled her review of it off amazon dot com. May 15, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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note – May 15, 2016 – Joan Wheeler has moved her blog at least 3 times since my writing this letter and this blog post. Her newest version of her blog does not have her blog post, “angry adoptee rant” – archives of December 2009: https://forbiddenfamily.com/2009/12/page/2/ — because Joan Wheeler is a sneak, a liar, and a backtracker. When her lies are uncovered, she hastily removes traces of her lies. With no apologies or explanations.

June 15, 2011, 6:00 am

to the members of redandwhitekop,who found this blog: welcome. I tried to register at your forum, but can’t get my Outlook Express to work.  (gulleysucker – you are too funny! love ya!)

Oh yes, I have a very low opinion of Nicole S. Urdang as this blog post will attest. She not only wrote a stupid review on amazon on my sister’s self-published book of hate and rage against me and others, she even reviewed graham crackers!  – so her nickname for her looooooong poetry is chocolatepsych? – I will admit to dabbling a bit in some New Age problem solutions, but geez, ya gotta keep it in perspective! And anyone who reviews crackers and calls themselves chocolatepsych just doesn’t seem qualified to me. She says Fridays are reserved for emergencys. mmmm. by all means – have your chum ring her up about his broken toilet seat – but make sure it’s on Friday – a broken toilet seat can be serious. 

My other sisters and I call her a “ditz” – check out her website and see what I mean! I just want to put her picture up on a dartboard! roflmao! I just can’t see getting therapy from a ditz like this. I don’t think I could keep a straight face!

But seriously – I don’t want to be labeled as an “enemy” of the ditz – just someone who strongly opposses her and her support of my wacko sister. – Because the ditz is as wacky as my sister. Talk about the blind leading the blind! — Ruth

This is a letter I sent to Nicole S. Urdang, a Buffalo, NY therapist, who posted a review of the trash book Forbbiden Family, on amazon dot com. In it she says this book was good. I question this woman’s ability to be a therapist, because obviously she can’t see the book is from a deranged mind. Also, I wonder just what her relationship to Joan is – if she is Joan’s therapist – then she stepped over the bounds of professionalism. If she is not, and merely a friend, she needs to be a better friend to Joan and urge her to get on some psych meds. Please DEEPLY READ this letter, examine it – see if there is any reference to Joan Wheeler being an asshole – because I NEVER wrote to any professional person or agency and called Joan an asshole. And neither have my sisters.

Ms. Urdang never had the courage to respond to this letter, which I mailed via the US Postal Service. Gert also contacted her via email. Ms. Urdang never responded to Gert either.  Says a lot about her character – AND – she removed her review of the Trash Book from amazon dot com. mmmm, makes one wonder.

January 18, 2011

 Nicole S. Urdang

 Buffalo, New York 142

 My name is Ruth Sippel Pace. I am the birth sister of Joan Wheeler, author of the book Forbidden Family, of which you wrote a review of and placed on Amazon.com.  I cannot believe any person of your occupation could think a book like that is anything but garbage.

 I don’t know how you are acquainted with Joan Wheeler, and I really don’t care. Whether you are involved with her on a personal note or a professional note, you need to be aware of Joan’s actions towards her entire family. Her behavior is psychotic, anti-social and borders on criminal, indeed, she HAS crossed the line and HAS committed criminal acts. They are not enough for law enforcement to act on, but as we have seen time after time, these people keep on with their sick behaviors until we have an incident comparable to what happened in Tucson, Arizona on January 8, 2011. In 1998, Joan Wheeler was asking around for a “hitman” to “take her (me) out.” Because of this death threat, I took her to Family Court and was granted a one-year order of protection against her. Now Joan has hooked up with someone, and I am concerned. Joan also has posted on her website hate statements against me and my sisters. These statements are also indicative of coming from a psychotic mind and are a cause of concern.

 Joan in the past has tried to ruin my life. Due to an innocent typing mistake, her hospital bill got mixed up with another patient’s bill in 1994. Joan immediately accused me of hacking into my employer’s computer to tamper with her bill. She sent a complaint to my employer. They investigated it, and told Joan that not only did they trace it to a typing mistake, but that it was impossible for me to do it, as the computers on the nursing station are not connected to the billing computers. Joan wasn’t going to have it. For the next six months, almost every day, she placed calls to the hospital telling everyone that I was a thief, a computer hacker, and should be fired. I work the 11pm – 7am shift, and was never told about this. I found out about it six months later. When I questioned a secretary in the nursing office, I was told that there had been a meeting by hospital administration that they were to hang up when Joan called and not to tell me. Yes, Buffalo General Hospital Administration protected me. Joan then tried to break my husband and me up by sending me a letter telling me that he got the next door neighbor pregnant. And they had a daughter. The only two babies born to women in that house from 1987 (when we moved there) – 2005 (when it was torn down), were boys. And Joan did much much more to me. I did try to take her to court for harassment in 1995, but the judge dismissed it, saying sisters should get along.” Would that that statement could be true. In Joan’s garbage book, she completely turns the story around, saying that it was she who took me to court and describes scenes that could only come from a sick person’s deluded fantasies.

 Your review of her book Forbidden Family is in itself a work of garbage. You are a professional therapist and do not see within the pages of that book a chronicle of a person losing their mind? Did you not even catch contradictions from one page to another, indeed even in one sentence?

 Even on her website she is full of contradictory statements and behaviors. For example on this page: http://forbiddenfamily.net/2009/12/10/angry-adoptee-rant1/, she gives out our full names. And later down the page, she says she doesn’t want us to view her website. Her website is supposed to be adoption reform, yet she has the hate statement against us. And does not see that if she puts our names there, we then have the right to see what is written about us.
note – May 15, 2016 – Joan Wheeler has moved her blog at least 3 times since my writing this letter and this blog post. Her newest version of her blog does not have her blog post, “angry adoptee rant” – archives of December 2009: https://forbiddenfamily.com/2009/12/page/2/ — because Joan Wheeler is a sneak, a liar, and a backtracker.

 My sisters and I have started a blog called Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family  https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/    I invite you to read it. It is not pretty. But Joan’s book is not pretty. How can someone write such garbage? And you, a professional, think this book is good? What is your professional opinion of what she says on page 163 about the condition of my mother’s body at the moment of her death? Joan claims that my father related this disgusting scene to her. This is a post I had made on my blog in October 2010:

 Ruth’s note, May 14, 2011 – Here, I had copied and pasted a post from this blog in this letter I sent to Ms. Urdang. To save space, I removed it, but it is the post Ruth Pace’s additional comments of Personal Psychodrama of Joan Wheeler from October 14, 2010.

 Also again and again in the book Joan alleges that I, Ruth Pace have a criminal record, having been arrested and placed on probation. This is slander and libel. I have never been arrested in my life. Joan is alluding to the 1993 event wherein she filed a complaint against me for annoyance phone calls made in June 1993, and she received a six-month order of protection against me, the dates being from August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. In the book she says she signed the complaint in February 1993, and the Order of Protection was for one year, and I was also sentenced to probation. On my blog, I have provided the scanned copies of actual court documents that have Joan signing the complaint on July 19, 1993, and that I was NOT placed on probation. 

 As a professional, before you put your name to recommending a product or a book, you are responsible for doing research to see if that product or book is the “genuine article.” Since you did not ask me for verification of statements that Joan put forth about me in the book, you obviously do not care about the truth. And as you are a “professional” therapist, the truth should be your primary concern.

 On January 11, 2011, my father died and Joan and her new companion were involved in the desecration of my father’s guest book in the funeral home. I invite you to read the following 3 blog posts that have been posted for legal and personal reasons:

 Ruth’s note, May 14, 2011 – Here  I had copied and pasted 3 posts from this blog in this letter I sent to Ms. Urdang.  To save space, I removed it, but they are  the posts: THIS IS A FORMAL NOTICE FOR LEGAL PURPOSES AGAINST JOAN M. WHEELER AND RUSSELL D. THOMAS OF WILSON NY (he made himself public by signing this on a separate page in the guest book; posted January 16, 2011.    Legal Notice to Joan M. Wheeler – Part 2; posted January 17, 2011. and Legal Notice to Joan M. Wheeler Part 3 by Gertrude McQueen, first born of Leonard Sippel; also posted on January 17, 2011. 

 Now, Ms. Urdang, I will give some background information. This story was told to us many times through the years, and was also confirmed in March 2010 by my mother’s last surviving sibling, Richard L. Herr, currently living in Florida.

When my mother was diagnosed with the cancer in January 1956, her brothers had suggested to my father that she be seen by a cancer specialist at Roswell Park. My father hesitated, saying that he wasn’t sure if he could pay for it. The brothers offered to pay. My mother herself, refused the consultation from a specialist. She then died on March 28, 1956. Her brothers, in their grief, blamed my father for her death. However they felt about my father, they never, nor did their children, disrespect me or my siblings. My cousins, descendants of these five men, through the years, have always proved themselves to always have been respectful to my father, always referring to him as Uncle Leonard, and greeting him warmly when seeing him at other funerals, and at family reunions.

 The hate message that was boldly printed in my father’s guest book was this:

“May he rot in hell for all eternity. From the Herrs: Charles, Matthew, Michael, Henry, Richard.”

 These men are all dead, except for Richard, who is in Florida, in fact, he was on the phone with my sister Kathy, being physically in Florida when the forgery of his name was taking place.

 If you, Ms. Urdang, are Joan Wheeler’s professional therapist, first and foremost, you overstepped your professional bounds by writing a personal recommendation of a book written by one of your clients. If you are her professional therapist, you are doing a poor job in counseling her. If you are involved with Joan in a merely personal level, as a friend, then you are doing a poor job as a friend. Because a friend would not let one carry on the way Joan does. A friend, or a professional therapist would try to make Joan understand the simple rule of “cause and effect.” When Joan tells a lie about a person, there can and will be repercussions.

 If there are any further criminal acts committed by Joan, I will hold you partially responsible.

 Respectfully submitted,

 Ruth B. Pace

Why I don’t give a DAMN about Joan Wheeler’s adoption trauma or any other “trauma” she’s going through April 15, 2011

Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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by Ruth Sippel Pace

clarification, I copied and pasted a post that Joan had placed on the adoptee forum, and I answered here, on my blog. In the past, Joan has accused me of stalking her on the internet to see what she writes – call it stalking if you want, I call it “monitoring” what Joan says about me and my family. Because I have the right to know what is written about me. And if it’s a lie, I will mostly definitely straighten that lie out. Don’t like what I’m doing Joan? – too bad. THEN STOP WRITING ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY ON THE INTERNET – AND MOST IMPORTANT – STOP LYING ABOUT ME.  A month ago, we sent this same message – after Joan got on the Huffington Post to smear our reputations and my grandfather’s reputation. – Whenever I see that Joan has writted stuff about me – I will be right there – because that it is my right. — Ruth Sippel Pace, April17, 2011, 11:17pm.

  The other day I wrote an answer to this post that Joan placed on the adoptee forum:

 “Realize that whatever trauma they have lived through, real or imagined, is what is driving them to hurt you.”

 I answered:  “Yeah, I get that Joan – whatever CRAP you went through as a child you are now taking out on your birth sisters. .. Well, I don’t give a DAMN what you went through. I don’t give a DAMN that your adoptive parents lied to you – you don’t get to write a book and tell lies about Ruth Sippel Pace and her kin, without Ruth refuting your lying shit. You don’t get to get on the internet and tel lies about Ruth Sippel Pace and her kin, without Ruth refuting your lying shit. AND THAT’S THE TRUTH!”

 I see that’s a bit harsh and wish to explain. When I was first reunited with Joan, and was getting to know her – I most certainly DID have sympathy for her for her “adoption trauma.” Of all her birth family, I believe I was the most supportive of her. It was ME who told her to “go for it,” when she first had the idea to write a book. It was ME who accompanied her to WGRZ-TV studio for a taping of human interest story on adoption reunion. This was in 1980 or 1981. – (addendum – April 18, 2011,) – addition, April 27, 2011: Anyone wishing to verify this story, contact reporter Rich Kellman at WGRZ-TV studios, 259 Delaware Ave, Buffalo, NY 14202. I’m not sure if they would still have records of this taping, but I don’t think it would hurt to ask. This verifies that I, one of Joan’s birth sisters, did indeed SUPPORT her in her adoption interests and causes, and did indeed have a relationship with her 30 years ago, despite her LYING and saying that we did not. I, Ruth Sippel Pace, provide documentation of everything that I say on this blog, contrary to Joan Wheeler, who gives NO proof, NO documentation, to prove her LIES.

 and why didn’t these 2 instances of me supporting her and her adoption cause make it into her book on adoption? She writes about herself going to all these adoption reform meetings and conferences, her letters to the editorial pages of newspapers, but she doesn’t mention going to WGRZ-TV to be interviewed by reporter Rich Kellman? She was on TV, talking about adoption reunion, and she doesn’t write about it in her book about adoption? – She writes about how even a couple of people in the adoption reform field discouraged her to write her book – yet fails to write how I, her “horrible” birth sister actually encouraged her to write the book AND appeared on TV with her to discuss our reunion. – NO, she can’t write about that, see, because it would put into questiion her continual lying statements that “she had to be silenced” about her adoption interests. The only time we try to “silence” her is when she bores us to death on the subject or when she LIES – which is just about 99% of the time.

Although I did not agree to her tactics regarding my oldest sister’s Gert’s children – in fact I was appalled at Joan’s interference and bullying Gert over the adoption of Gert’s son by her and her new husband. And when she called child abuse on Gert over daughter, I was very angry with Joan.

 In 1983, I was a bridesmaid in Joan’s wedding. She had borrowed my mother’s wedding gown 4 years earlier, volunteering to have it restored. She and her seamstress used the gown as a model to make a copy of. But then Joan removed bead trim off the original dress and put it on her own. She promised to replace the trim. She never did. When I got the gown back several months later, she had never restored or cleaned the gown. I waited until she asked me to babysit for her, and when that day came, I brought a pair of scissors with me and removed the bead trim from Joan’s gown – because the trim belonged to me – on my mother’s wedding gown – that my father had given me. – This was the first theft that Joan committed against me.

 As the 80’s progressed – so did Joan’s bad behavior. Yet I continued to have a relationship with her. (despite her saying on the Huffington Post that we did not). I had been trying to conceive and had several books on pregnancy and child rearing. Joan even borrowed some of them – and I had a hell of a time getting them back. (so much for her saying in her book that I had merely “claimed” to want to have children). It was Joan who drove me home from the hospital in June 1985 after my miscarriage, and it was ME who drove her and her new daughter home from the hospital in October 1986.

 In June 1987, Joan and I were on the phone. I was still grieving the loss of my son, (indeed, to this day, I still grieve), and I told Joan that I did not want to discuss infertility. But did Joan respect my wishes? No., she kept on talking about it. I told her 3 more times I did not want to talk about it. She kept on talking. I finally yelled at her to shut up and hung up on her. What kind of idiot keeps talking about a painful subject when the person asks, then finally demands that they don’t? I did not speak to Joan for a full year. I did not write to her. I did not call her.

 But in 1988, I did call, and we reconciled. This was the time that we spent many days at the beach with her children – the summer of 1988, I was on disability for a back injury at work. I was going for physical therapy in the mornings, and enjoyed afternoons at the beach with my sister and her kids. These outings continued through the summers of 1989 and 1990, when my work schedule permitted it.

 But Joan continued her bullying of me. And stealing from me. In 1990, we decided to buy an apartment building together. I borrowed money from the bank for a down payment. The money was in a joint checking account to be used for lawyer fees, real estate broker fees, etc. By September 1990, we didn’t find an apartment building that would suit us, and we dissolved the partnership. When the back account was closed, there was a lot of money missing. Joan confessed to me that she had been using the money for her day to day living expenses. I was livid. I borrowed this money from the bank to buy real estate, not to support Joan, who had a husband – who had a job. Our lawyer was to return part of his fee – and he sent us a letter that I would receive half, and Joan would receive half. Joan and I agreed that when she cashed her check, I would get the cash, because the lawyer’s fee was paid for out of the money that I had borrowed and placed in the account.

 Then Joan called me on the phone and stated that she was keeping the money. I had finally had it with her bullshit bullying me and told her to keep the fucking money, but she was not my sister, and to stay away from me.

 We did have a couple more interactions during the following year, mostly she kept calling and giving me excuses why she couldn’t repay me the money that she STOLE from me. Each time I just kept my distance.

 Then by 1993 the out and out fighting began. For more details on the meddling, Joan’s stalking me, her pranks, her trying to get me fired from my job, her writing bullshit letters to elected officials about me – see my post of November 2, 2010, What is demanded from Joan Wheeler – the purpose of this blog.

 I remember shopping with my cousin Gail once, around 1991, and I were talking about Joan and the shit she had done to me. I told Gail, “I don’t know who I’m more angry at – Joan for doing this shit, or myself for allowing her to do it.”

 Gail said, “You do it because you love her. You are trying to be a sister to her. I had some issues with my sister Ida, but this is different. Ida didn’t steal from me or tell lies. You need to put your foot down.”

 And I did. In 1991, I refused to be Joan’s doormat any longer. And that’s when the real shit began and continues to this day. THAT is why throughout her book, the one person in Joan’s birth family that is the most written about in her filthy book is ME. Almost every page is Brenda this, Brenda that. (she calls me Brenda in her book). Because I had turned the cheek so many times to her shit and continued to take her shit – then when I stood up for myself – Joan set out to punish me along with other people in her book.

 And I state here and now: I am a human being and do not deserve to be treated the way Joan has treated me. She had a wonderful person (me) who loved her. Who accepted her – as she was. I never judged her. I supported her. I loved her. BUT NO MORE. SHE PUSHED ME AWAY FROM HER – SHE TURNED MY LOVE FOR HER TO HATE. My hate for her has NOTHING to do with Joan’s imaginings that I blame her for our mother’s death, or her stupid lying shit that my grandfather molested me and I am jealous that Joan was adopted out and escaped that abuse. What a crock of shit – my grandfather never molested me or my sisters. But Joan will stop at nothing – she loves to tell lies about me and my sisters.

 The reason I hate Joan is because of her own actions to me. Joan needs to take responsiblity for her own choices in life. At the age of 16, she made the conscious decision to search for her birth family. She didn’t have to look for us – we found her. (our bad). But we had no idea that our younger sister was a such a BITCH. We took her to our hearts, and she betrayed and hurt each and every one of us. And one by one, we all turned our backs on her -even our father threw her out of his house several times, the last incident being in 2009, where he called his lawyer and REMOVED Joan from even his pre-planned funeral arrangements and his self-written obituary.

 It is all on Joan. She did this. She treated her birth family like shit and we Sippels are not shit.

And that is why I reiterate what I wrote to Joan the other day and I don’t give a DAMN that it is harsh:

 I don’t give a DAMN what you went through. I don’t give a DAMN that your adoptive parents lied to you – you don’t get to write a book and tell lies about Ruth Sippel Pace and her kin, without Ruth refuting your lying shit. You don’t get to get on the internet and tel lies about Ruth Sippel Pace and her kin, without Ruth refuting your lying shit. AND THAT’S THE TRUTH! 

Here is the gist of my post of November 2, 2010 – a concise listing of the shit that Joan has done to her birth family.

The purpose of this blog is to refute and debunk Ms. Wheeler’s statements that she puts forth in her book and on the internet. We also will discuss Ms. Wheeler’s behavior in real life, because it is detrimental to us and our family.

The Three Sippel Sisters demand the following:

1. Public apology and retraction from Joan Wheeler for the following:

  1. Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.
  2. Falsely accusing Ruth of having a criminal record and being placed on probation.
  3. Falsely accusing Ruth of calling child abuse on Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. In the book, she lists it as happening in 1993, on the internet in May and September 2010, she lists it as 1996. – (only a liar can’t keep dates straight – I have scanned and posted an actual letter sent by Joan dated December 1994 to New York State Child Abuse authorities and in it she states the call was made Dec. 1994. Why are there 3 different years listed by Joan in this letter, in her book, and on the internet?
  4. Falsely asserting that there was a 3 month court battle in the spring of 1994 over this child abuse call. (which according to her letter didn’t occur until months later, and on the internet, years later). There was never a 3 month court battle between Joan and Ruth. and again, why does she keep mixing up the date of the call? Perhaps because she keeps lying about it.
  5. Falsely accusing Ruth of hacking into computers where Ruth works and tampering with Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill in late 1994.
  6. For six months of almost daily phone calls placed to Ruth’s place of employment for the purpose of Ruth losing her job. This was AFTER Ruth’s employer’s investigated Joan’s complaint in the fall of 1994, determined that Ruth was innocent, informed Joan of this, yet Joan continued into the spring of 1995 with calling various departments in the hospital and falsely informing them that Ruth did tamper with her bill.
  7. Falsely asserting that Ms. Wheeler has had “multiple orders of protection” against the 3 Sippel Sisters.
  8. Falsely asserting that the one and only Order of Protection Ms. Wheeler ever received (against Ruth) was for one year, when in reality it was for 6 months.
  9. Falsely asserting that the 3 Sippel Sisters repeatedly interfere with Ms. Wheeler’s life and harass her.
  10. For using our picture on the back cover of her book without our permission. The book is used for monetary gain, therefore, Ms. Wheeler is making money from our likeness.
  11. For writing letters to Anthony J. Masiello, when he was mayor of the city of Buffalo and other elected officials, giving them personal and private details of Ruth’s life, thereby invading Ruth’s privacy.
  12. For stealing Kathy’s money and belongings in 1993.
  13. For stealing Ruth’s money in 1990 and the bead trim off the wedding dress of our mother, which was Ruth’s property.
  14. An apology and explanation that Ms. Wheeler lied to Professor Rene Hoksbergen, and asked him to interfere with Kathy’s life in 1993, thereby invading Kathy’s privacy.
  15. For all lies and misrepresentations that are contained in the book and on her website.


2. Joan WILL comply with the following:

  1. The complete pulling of the book Forbidden Family off the market.
  2.  Full return of Kathy’s money and belongings that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1993.
  3. Full return of Ruth’s money that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1990
  4. The cessation of posting any more about her sisters ANYwhere on the internet, except when discussing her adoption and she is to limit her discussion of her sisters to say that she has 3 older birth sisters, one who first made the contact with her, and due to personality conflicts, any reunion between Joan and her 3 birth sisters has been terminated.


3. Ms. Wheeler will cease her public statements that:

  1. Our father was coerced into relinquishing her for adoption. It has always been his assertion that he was NOT coerced.
  2.  The 3 Sippel Sisters are “trashing” her on the internet via “multiple” adoption reform sites.


4. We Three Sippel Sisters further demand a public apology from Professor Rene Hoksbergen for his interference with Kathy in 1993, and his recent “professional” review of the book Forbidden Family, wherein, he is guilty of spreading a false allegation of sexual abuse by the person of Gertrude McQueen. Professor Hoksbergen did not check any “facts” that Joan Wheeler alleges, and therefore he is guilty also of damaging the reputation of Mrs. McQueen, and the other two Sippel Sisters.

Unless and until ALL these listed items are complied with by Joan Wheeler, (and Professor Hoksbergen), this blog will remain an active blog with every printed lie, misrepresentation, or misdeed of Joan Wheeler’s, either in the book, or on the internet, or real life, WILL be refuted and the truth WILL be documented.  Further, any future lies, falsehoods, misrepresentations, and further invasion of the privacy of The Three Sippel Sisters, their families and friends, will result in the continuation of this blog.

ALSO: Ruth hereby demands that Joan Wheeler’s ex-husband Colby Allen Bell repay every penny of the money he stole from her in 1990. – $490.00. He withdrew $500.00 from the joint checking account that Ruth had with them to purchase real estate (with her permission) to purchase a case of fireworks. Colby was supposed to replace that money when the fireworks were sold. He did not. He repaid Ruth only $10.00.

Further, in 1991, 3 ATM withdrawals were made totalling $400.00 from Joan and Colby’s checking account, causing their rent check to bounce. Joan and Colby accused Ruth of doing it. The following year, Colby was caught on a student video, admitting that it was HE who withdrew the money to support his  habit of frequenting strip joints.

Ruth demands a formal and public apology from Colby from his theft of her money and a formal and public apology  from both Joan and Colby concerning the accusation that she illegally made ATM withdrawals, which could have resulted with a criminal investigation of her by the bank and law enforcement. This could have damaged her reputation irreparably.

Again, until ALL demands here listed are FULLY met, this blog will remain active and the public shall know just what kind of persons Joan Wheeler and her ex-husband are.

Now ask me if I care about any “trauma” Joan is going through. – I don’t.

Additional comment by Gert McQueen, Saturday, April 16, 2010:

Ruth’s newest post called…Why I don’t give a DAMN about Joan Wheeler’s adoption trauma or any other “trauma” she’s going through is very well said! Excellent! Concise! Accurate!

 And yes the purpose of this blog is to refute and expose every dirty thing that Joan Wheeler has done to our entire family and we shall NEVER stop exposing the TRAUMA that Joan has done to us!

 I would like to add something more to this item:

 1. Public apology and retraction from Joan Wheeler for the following:

 1.       Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.

 1(a) Falsely accusing Gert and husband of child abuse to her daughter. Those charges were PROVEN to be totally FALSE and were EXPUGED by the State and never were to be EXPOSED by anyone including Joan.

1 (b) Joan and Doctor Hoksbergen’s statements about me sexually abusing Joan are based purely on some kind of adoption pyschobable nonsense…there is no truth to such nonsense…these false accusations (sexual abuse and child abuse) are Joan’s attempts to ‘hit below the belt’ at me for NOT continuing a sexual three-way that Joan wanted to have and continue.

 I stand by my decision in 1981…I divorced her from my family…I renounced her then and I maintain that denouncement…Her conception and birth to my parents was an ACCIDENT OF THE FATES. She is NO SISTER and I shall continue to refute her lies to my dying day!

What is the REAL reason behind Joan Wheeler’s rant on the Huffington Post? March 9, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen and Ruth Pace

This is the particular exchange that threw Joan Wheeler into a huff on the Huffington Post:

 Joan’s post:

Mrs Delacour,

I am not grateful to be adopted. Why would I? My adoptive parents knowingly and willingly prevented me from knowing my own full blood siblings during my childhood and that is child abuse. Yes, my natural father relinquish ­ed me to adoption when I was 4 months old just after the death of my mother. He kept the other 4 children. That alone is hurtful, but my adoptive parents knew my father and open visitation could have been arranged. But my so-called loving adoptive parents kept me all to themselves ­, alone, in their sheltered cocoon of adoption-l ­ove. I should have been told the truth.

Now about the birth certificat ­e issue: I was born the 5th child to married parents. My original birth certificat ­e states that there were 4 other children born to this mother. I was given a name and my long form birth certificat ­e states the date and time of birth in the hospital. My natural father gave this document to my adopting parents when he relinquish­ed me.

Gert’s comment

Child abuse!!??? Get a grip! Not knowing any blood siblings is NOT abuse, dear sister!

And you should not throw stones around so freely particular­ly when you have called two false abuse charges at me in the past, because you knew better! Wrong, you were wrong, then and you are wrong now.

There are reasons why in adoption you don’t get to know the blood family, and it certainly isn’t because anyone is doing any kind of abuse! That is only in your mind!

There were NOT such things as open adoption/v­isitation in your case, dear sister. You are beating a dead horse! It was not hurtful that you were placed in adoption and separate from the other four…the ­re was NO ONE to take care of YOU, dear sister…a ­nd you did NOT have the same fates that we had. And don’t even go there and blame that on adoption!

Why don’t you stop being so hateful to the people who gave you so much!! Who paid for your college education, that you don’t use? Your siblings didn’t have all the benefits that you had in adoption. Being grateful is one of the greatest gifts you could give yourself, but, you would rather stay poor and in hate.

Instead of hating adoption and everyone who adopts, why don’t you try living a life for a change.

Ruth’s comment:

So, a couple of days after this exchange, because we Sippel Sisters DARED to post an opinion on an internet site, Joan goes on a rampage and cuts and pastes stuff from her lying cyberbullying page. In an effort to “silence” us. Joan thinks she owns the internet. Joan can post things, but her birth sisters are NOT allowed to post. Too bad, Joan, you don’t own the internet, you don’t own Huffington Post, you couldn’t control your sisters, and you couldn’t control Huffington Post. Your arrogance got you kicked off!

So when Joan saw she couldn’t control us by preventing us from opening an account on Huffington and accessing our American Constitutional First Amendment Right to Free Speech, Joan decides that even her own cyberbullying crap wasn’t good enough. So she adds an additional slur against us – the bullshit about our grandfather molesting us when we were kids.

I have to hand it to Joan – she really needs to get a job writing for a soap opera. She’s good at the cliff hangers! In her book and on her website, she hints that she has “secrets” that her birth sisters don’t want her to tell. We have gone on this blog about a year ago and asked her what those secrets are. She has never responded, until now. So this is the SECRET! Are there any more secrets Joan? Come on, OUT WITH IT NOW! STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH. I’M CALLING IN YOUR BLUFF! I WANT TO SEE MORE DELUSIONS FROM YOUR SICK BRAIN SO I CAN HAVE ANOTHER GOOD LAUGH! I want to see some more of your “torpedos of  truth.” roflmao! You could give Charlie Sheen a run for his money. — got Tiger Blood? ha ha ha!

O my gosh, do you people see what a scumbag she is? Let’s suppose for one minute that her allegations are true. Joan says she is a “social worker.” Ethical social workers do NOT tell things about their clients. I am not Joan’s client, but if I were, I’d sue the f’ing bitch for blabbing my confidentialities. And not even going by that, do you people not see her for the scumbag she is, that she hints in her book that she is holding “secrets” blackmail over her birth sisters? What kind of morals does Joan have that she threatens us in her book via emotional blackmail? And what kind of morals do readers of her book have and see nothing intrinsically wrong with a person who does that? Do you think people who write the laws of America is going to listen to this whackjob and take her recommendations to change birth certificate access laws?  They are going to see her for what she is – a liar and someone who tries to hold her own birth family blackmail by threatening to tell lies and secrets about them. And then makes sick lying allegations about a very serious thing – child sexual abuse! Every adult survivor of child sexual abuse should slap Joan in the face for what she has lied about, for it makes a mockery of what they endured. NO ONE has the right to lie about something this serious.

 I say again Joan: OUT WITH IT! Because me and my sisters are not going to succumb to emotional blackmail by you. Whatever “hold” you think you have over us, forget about it. You have none. All you have is your lies. And now, for the FOURTH time, Joan, I am challenging you to a lie detector test.  Silence speaks volumes. She won’t answer me on this one because she knows the truth would stick in her throat and choke her.

So now I ask you Joan, WHO told you that I was molested by my grandfather? My grandfather? Let’s see, nope, he died in 1959. My grandmother? Nope, she died in 1965. Me? Nope, because I wouldn’t tell you about something that never happened. Was it my father? Nope, because again, it never happened. And speaking of my father, notice how Joan comes out with this bullshit AFTER my father is dead – because now my father can’t get in her face for her smearing his father’s reputation! Like he turned his back on her in 2009 for her insulting his religion and his mother.

 So getting back to Joan’s statement to Mrs. Delacour “I am not grateful to be adopted.”

 Well, shit, if the allegations against my grandfather were true, wouldn’t Joan BE grateful to have been adopted out and escape the alleged molestation?

No, I believe something else is going on here. And it is something that I have wondered about for years. Joan HATES men. She HATES my father for giving her up for adoption. She HATES her birth siblings that were NOT adopted. She HATES adoption. She HATES the fact she was adopted. She HATES her adoptive parents. She is so full of hate and rage. So full of hate and rage, and  disproportionally so.


 Because  it was not the Sippel Sisters were sexually molested as children, I believe IT WAS JOAN WHEELER HERSELF WHO WAS SEXUALLY MOLESTED AS A CHILD, PROBABLY BY A WHEELER RELATIVE! 

Gert McQueen adds this comment:

Joan Wheeler says she is a Social Worker and as such she is bound by their codes of ethics. Well perhaps she ought to be brought up on charges of violation of the codes of ethics of Social Workers. Any takers? I think I might!!!
In part Ruth has said:

“Joan says she is a “social worker.” Ethical social workers do NOT tell things about their clients. I am not Joan’s client, but if I were, I’d sue the f’ing bitch for blabbing my confidentialities. And not even going by that, do you people not see her for the scumbag she is, that she hints in her book that she is holding “secrets” blackmail over her birth sisters? What kind of morals does Joan have that she threatens us in her book via emotional blackmail? And what kind of morals do readers of her book have and see nothing intrinsically wrong with a person who does that?”

 It just so happens that I have the ethic codes and what do they say?

The National Association of Social Workers codes of ethics.


1.07 Privacy and Confidentiality

(a) Social workers should respect clients’ right to privacy. Social workers should not solicit private information from clients unless it is essential to providing services or conducting social work evaluation or research. Once private information is shared, standards of confidentiality apply.

(b) Social workers may disclose confidential information when appropriate with valid consent from a client or a person legally authorized to consent on behalf of a client.

(c) Social workers should protect the confidentiality of all information obtained in the course of professional service, except for compelling professional reasons. The general expectation that social workers will keep information confidential does not apply when disclosure is necessary to prevent serious, foreseeable, and imminent harm to a client or other identifiable person. In all instances, social workers should disclose the least amount of confidential information necessary to achieve the desired purpose; only information that is directly relevant to the purpose for which the disclosure is made should be revealed.

(d) Social workers should inform clients, to the extent possible, about the disclosure of confidential information and the potential consequences, when feasible before the disclosure is made. This applies whether social workers disclose confidential information on the basis of a legal requirement or client consent.

(h) Social workers should not disclose confidential information to third­party payers unless clients have authorized such disclosure.

(i) Social workers should not discuss confidential information in any setting unless privacy can be ensured. Social workers should not discuss confidential information in public or semipublic areas such as hallways, waiting rooms, elevators, and restaurants.

(q) Social workers should not disclose identifying information when discussing clients with consultants unless the client has consented to disclosure of confidential information or there is a compelling need for such disclosure.

(r) Social workers should protect the confidentiality of deceased clients consistent with the preceding standards.

 Gert says:

Sure looks like violation of the codes of ethics for the National Association of Social Workers to me! I say again, any takers? Anyone willing to press charges against Joan Wheeler for ethics violations? No takers? Well, I guess that’s the next thing I ought to look into!!

To Joan Wheeler, from Ruth Sippel – drop dead March 8, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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A personal message to Joan Wheeler

Are you proud of yourself? Your latest low-down rotten slur against your blood kin shows not only us, but the entire world what a low life you are.

Blabbing on the internet a suppposed sexual molestation – you have the nerve to first accuse my grandfather of this heinous deed, which is completely FALSE!

And what if is was true? what kind of f’ing sleaze goes on the internet and blabs that?

Guess what readers? There is a person, close to Joan Wheeler, who at the age of 3, was sexually molested. And I KNOW it is true, because at the time, I was close to this young person. I will NOT blab who it was, or who did it. Why not? Because I have more class than Joan Wheeler.

We Three Sippel Sisters do not like Joan, not because we are jealous of her, or any other kind of delusional thought patterns that Joan may think of – We hate her because of her continual acts of hate towards us – we have been using this blog to chronicle her rotten deeds to us, and this act is another example of how Joan treats us. We, as human beings, do not deserve to be treated like this. Who the hell does Joan think she is? Well, she’s getting slapped down now, and slapped down hard. Because she doesn’t act like a normal human being. She acts like a f’ing moron. Only a moron goes on the internet and spreads shit like this.

Joan does not owe us an apology however, she owes an apology to all the adult survivors of child sexual abuse – yes, because when Joan posted what she did, merely as a ploy to hurt us, she made a mockery of this heinous act. And she needs to be deeply ashamed of herself. Because of the person who I alluded to above. I wonder how Joan could look at that person in the eye after making a mockery of what that person went through. And all other child sexual abuse victims – Joan is an asshole! She will burn in hell for this.

Let her run to her adoptee buddies at the Adult Adoptee forum and say some lies about us now. But she can’t weasel her way out of this one.

Joan Wheeler – DROP DEAD!

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