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I am so impressed with the little coward bovine Mara Parker Rigge, asshole puppet of Joan Wheeler March 29, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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so Joan’s little bovine friend Mara/Christine has blocked me on facebook – after I gave her a good tongue-lashing for calling me evil yesterday – Joan needs to shut her mouth about me – and her friends are dam lucky they don’t live near me – I swing a mean baseball bat. – ask the Jehovah’s Witnesses ’bout me – they can attest to it.


To Christine Monahan / Mara Parker Rigge – buddy of Joan Wheeler March 28, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Uncategorized.
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open announcement to one Christine Monahan/Mara Parker Rigge (buddy of Joan Wheeler).

excuse me, you tell Joan that her sisters are evil and we live to torment her? who the hell do you think you are? I was very insulted to see that remark of yours.
as a matter of fact
that whole post of Joan’s was a torment to ME. on the surface, it was a remembrance of a dead woman –but was it necessary for Joan to…USE a remembrance of long-dead woman to get a dig in against her sisters?
Joan can slam me any day of the week and in any post she wants
but to do it under the guise of supposedly “honoring”her long-dead mother? and you think it’s okay –well, YOU are as “ignorant”as you post that I and my other sisters are. what kind of human being are you? what kind of woman are you? as for tormenting someone go tell your little friend to stop calling my job with false accusations geared to get me fired. –one day your little friend Joan is going to be behind bars. And you are one stupid law enforcement person if you can’t “detect”who is the one breaking the law.

Mara is guilty now of slandering me.

by the way Mara/Christine –I’ve known where your facebook page was for some time now, and have NEVER harassed you –NEVER bothered you. You owe me and my sisters an apology. You, who claim who wants to know their mama, on the day of the anniversary of MY mama’s death –you attack me for no reason. You are the evil, cruel one. I didn’t know MY mama either –I was three years old when she died. both you and Joan can rot in hell.


here is how Joan does her stupid shit and Mara thinks it is just okay. But then Mara is a psycho bitch just like Joan:

I remember in January 2013 –I worked one night, came home, went to bed. Got up 5 hours later to see on twitter –a whole bunch of stupid nonsensical tweets by Joan Wheeler. Going on and on about the children of the guy who just died are now half-orphans, (like her ah gods, NO, don’t let them be like her) –and the widow is someone she’s known and the kids should not be adopted. I didn’t know what Joan was talking about. THEN –I read ME being dragged into it. (remember, I was sleeping while Joan wrote all this) –and THAT FAMILY (of the widow) doesn’t want me around. And the widow’s grandmother doesn’t know, and she’s senile, and the news will kill her.
So I call up my cousin Nancy
and ask was there a death in the family? Yes, my cousin Melissa’s husband died. Well, I hadn’t seen Melissa since she was a little kid, and never met her husband. But I still felt very bad. I know I sent Melissa a little note on facebook of condolence.
As to
“that family”not wanting me around –geez, I was just at a Herr cousin family get-together at The Old Country Buffet in December 2012 –and “that family”sure went out of their way to invite me. (and for the one in Dec. 2013, to which I couldn’t go, as I had to work).
But see, this is how Joan Wheeler works
her using my mother’s death anniversary as a vehicle to work in a slam against me is nothing new –she did it a year ago –as I said, I never met Brandon, and hadn’t seen Melissa since she was a little kid. So how did I get into Joan’s lamenting over Brandon?
Joan can slam me anytime she wants but not under the guise of
“grieving”over someone and “honoring”their memory.
tell me now Mara
WHO is the evil one? Joan is the evil one – and you not far behind her.

here’s what bitch Mara said about me – and I consider it bullying, harassment and slander.

mara's shit

Wil Wheaton on bullying. DON’T shut up Wesley – this is the best I’ve ever heard. (love you Wil). And Mara – YOU are a bully, along with Joan – fuck off.


1. gertmcqueen

Gert here…
Mara is another angry adoptee like Joan, they think and act alike. Mara has a history of leaving filthy comments on Ruth’s blog years ago. Mara has attempted over the years to shoot me and Ruth down on internet news stories preventing us from getting the truth out about Joan’s lies. Angry adoptees don’t get it! Their methods of browbeating and name calling is NOT in vogue any more. There are TWO sides to every story and Mara and Joan and anyone else will just have heard about OUR SIDE OF THE STORY. People in the know on the adoption reform issues DO NOT want browbeaters and insulters in their camps. Mara needs to pull her head out of her ass!
As the BIRTH FAMILY we can and will continue to expose Joan’s lies and anyone else who ‘speaks’ wrongly towards us.

2. Ruth

Mara has let her “anger” over her adoption cause her to be an asshole. I look at her picture and see a pretty lady. Then I read her shit comments (not just to me, but others) and wonder at the ugliness she lets out.
Mara, along with Joan, has been kicked off MANY websites for their insulting ways, name-calling, and generally acting like mean little five-year olds.
I understand where Mara is coming from – she has gone public with the fact that her adoptive parents were abusive towards her. And for that, she has my sympathy. BUT she does NOT have the right to turn around and abuse others – like me, who she knows NOTHING about – all she knows about me are the LIES that are spread about me by Joan Wheeler.
As a law enforcement personnel, Mara should be able to figure out who is lying – for the purpose of justice being served. She clearly is NOT interested in justice – only lashing out at others over her childhood abuses and hurts.
I feel sorry for Mara – in a way – but if she attacks me – she should know, I give as good as I get.

3. Ruth

oh and by the way – that little story I wrote about Joan’s tweets in January 2013? – where she says “that family doesn’t want her (me) around? – Joan’s lie was just REFUTED by my cousin on facebook – he said “no one ever said they don’t want you around.”
there you go Mara – this is NOT from me, or Gert – but from the person that Joan LIED ABOUT ON TWITTER.


evidence that Joan Wheeler is herself a cyberbully February 11, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Uncategorized.
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Joan Wheeler loves to whine that she is cyberbullied by her birth sisters. She loves to point fingers. Yet she engages in the very same behavior that she bitches about.

Yesterday, February 10, 2014, Joan and some of the other angry adoptees went running over to a pro-adoption facebook page to spam them. Most of the adoptees were fairly civil, but not Joan. Joan just HAD to stoop to calling names. And what’s funny is that Gert had just published a blog post –Joan Wheeler, along with others, engage in cyber-bullying and harassing adopted parents! by gertmcqueen on February 10, 2014

This is a comment that I placed on Gert’s blog post – it contains Joan’s actual comment that she put on that facebook page. Calls them morons and then the control freak in her jumps out as she dictates to them to “listen up.” And one of the people she insulted gives Joan her shit right back at her!  (love you Sarah Mary).

well, now, Gert writes a blog post about how Joan is a cyberbully, goes on websites and bullies and insults those who don’t think like her, and what happens? – yep – just hours after Gert publishes her blog post Joan does it again.


Joan M Wheeler Hey you morons over here, listen up. UNTIL one of you “pregnant on paper” girls actually goes through morning sickness, dizzieness, fainting spells, labor pains, panic over not feeling the baby kick, you have no idea what you are talking about! This page is insulting to all mothers who have children the normal way.. let alone a mother who adopts or a mother who loses her newborn to adoption. This is so degrading. My natural mother was very sick while pregnant with me. The hormones of pregnancy actually speeded up her cancer. I was born two months premature. She died three months later. My mother gave her LIFE for me! And you people here make a joke out of pregnancy! And my adoptive mother sadly expressed how dearly she wanted to be pregnant but couldn’t. She regretted it. You girls have much to learn.

and someone answered Joan:

Sarah Mary I definitely see a moron on this thread and it’s you.


my other comments to Gert’s blog post – and keep in mind, that I wrote these yesterday evening, BEFORE I saw what Joan wrote on that facebook page.

Gert says: “So again, NO ONE ELSE, but Joan, is allowed an angry response! And NO ONE ELSE is allowed to voice their OPINION about what an adoptee should be! ONLY Joan is allowed, because she is the adoptee, to KNOW ANYTHING about adoption, even a wrong or uninformed knowledge or opinion…because Joan is the adoptee and an angry one at that!

Right you are Gert. And not just on the internet or about adoption!  In her personal life, when Joan doesn’t like something, be it about a costume a dancer is wearing or a costume in a movie, Joan gives HER expert opinion and if you dare disagree with her, she will start screaming at you that you are wrong, wrong, wrong.

If you are standing in front of her, you will do anything to stop her screeching that hurts your ears – so you may just agree with her – just to shut her up. If you’re on the phone, you might hang up on her – again to stop the screeching. OR SHE MAY HANG UP ON YOU – because it SILENCES you. – That’s her favorite ploy – ONLY JOAN CAN HAVE A SAY IN ANYTHING – and she will shut you up – either by hanging up on you – or screeching at you to the point you just shut up.

But she can’t shut me up now – that’s why I LOVE THE INTERNET.


Gert says: “Joan is the ONLY person that can have things BOTH WAYS.” Yes, that is sooo true. Gert’s post outlines how Joan gets on a website and pulls the focus of a discussion. To reiterate: JOAN goes to a website and pulls the focus. BUT just last month – in response to an article Joan had published on The Buffalo News website, I made ONE respectful comment – correcting Joan’s statement that her adoption was “forced.” I said it was done out of necessity. Meanwhile, an acquaintance of Joan’s, a musician in a band that performs at a bar that Joan frequently goes to, posted his own comment that warned readers that Joan’s book was pulled because of libel. Joan got pissed and started the name-calling and insults and mud-slinging. She accused her birth sisters (me and Gert and Kathy, altho Kathy wasn’t even involved) of pulling the focus of the intent of her article. (she didn’t use those words but that’s what she meant – and instead of using those intelligent words, she started with the name-calling, the insults, the false accusations).

I have said it repeatedly on this blog, and my blog – that Joan is a hypocrite as well as a liar. “Joan is the ONLY person that can have things BOTH WAYS.” – Joan is a control freak, a dictator. Control freak – I’ve said that many times on my blog in the past. And in late December 2013, on twitter, where Joan is going off on a tangent – ranting and raving over the latest breakup of her latest boyfriend she said he accused her of being a “control freak.” She been told that many times over many years – you’d think she’d get the message. – No, she’s too damn busy being the control freak, and walking all over people – in person and on the internet – to get the fact that she IS an idiot.

lies, lies, and more lies – by Joan Wheeler – refuted as always by Ruth Sippel Pace November 14, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In Gert’s latest blog post “Joan Wheeler’s screaming, that her birthsiblings are attacking her, is nothing new!” dated November 13, 2013, Gert details much bullying done by Joan towards us, her birthsisters. Her bullying rant against me contains lies (so what else is new?)I’m not going to go over all Joan’s bullshit, just a few points that I pointed out in 4 comments that I placed on Gert’s post:

Ruth‘s comments:

lie #1: “The last time you were told this in person was at our father’s 80th birthday. I out up with your antagonistic attitudes for the party for the father we share, but I warned you then”

no, we never spoke to each other at the party. When she was leaving, she turned to me as she was going out the door and said “Ruth, we need to talk.” I was sitting on the couch with my stepmother. We both looked at each and rolled our eyes. We said nothing to Joan. I didn’t even look back at her. Let’s see – who was at the party. – my father, who is now deceased. My stepmother. My two stepsisters, their husbands, their kids (5 in all) a few of the kids friends – I think maybe 4. Count them up: 5 adults that are still alive, and about 9 kids – ranging in ages 10 – 17. They are witnesses that Joan did NOT warn me about anything. They are witnesses that Joan and I did NOT speak. 

  • lie #2: “You violated an Order of Protection that I had out on you when you showed up at my house in 1993″

    nope – she moved out of the house on Saturday, July 31, 1993. We didn’t even get to court until August 9, 1993. And it was then the judge handed down the order of protection (over annoyance phone calls that I placed because I was pissed at Joan’s STEALING HUNDREDS OF $$$ FROM ME). Joan says in her book that the date I came to her house was August 1, 1993. I have posted on my blog a scan of the actual order of protection and the date it went into effect was August 9, 1993 and it expired February 9, 1994. It was for six months, yet Joan reports it as being for one year.

    lie #3: “You charged her (her mother) with child abuse of her grandchildren!”
    wrong – Joan herself placed the child abuse call posing as me. The call was that I was turning in my own fiance for having sex with Joan and her mother liked to watch. or something like that. Joan then wrote to the Department of Social Services in Albany NY and told them on August 9, 1993 that I was sentanced to six months probation. – wrong – it was the afore-mentioned order of protection that I was sentance to NOT probation. at least she got the date correct in her stupid lying letter
    lie #4:
  • I nver had a sexual or emotional affair with your boyfriend/husband! How dare you accuse me of such trash!”

    Joan likes to spread that around that I accused her of having an affair with John. Nope, I never said that. However, Joan wrote a letter to John in March 1995, sending it to his mother’s house and asked him if he was leaving me. (copy of this letter and envelope, in Joan’s handwriting is posted on my blog) — Also in 1999, she sent me a letter stating that John got the next door neighbor pregnant. and the house was vacant! Trash? oh, yes, there is a LOT of trash coming out of Joan’s mouth!

Learn this: Joan Wheeler – my employer’s security is damn good! March 2, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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I came across an interesting news item published in our local newspaper The Buffalo News. I tried to find the piece on The News website so I could give a url address, but since The News changed their website several months ago, it’s hard to find anything! So I will just type this out.

from the “Police & Courts” section of The Buffalo News, Tuesday, February 26, 2013 —

Woman is charged in theft of medication from hospital.

A 20-year-old Genesee Street woman was being held on grand larceny and criminal possession of stolen property for allegedly breaking into a secured medication cart at Buffalo General Medical Center about 2a.m. Monday and stealing a number of medications.

When hospital security went after her, she fled, but according to police reports, the stolen medications were recovered on Main Street, and she was arrested at Elmwood Avenue and North Street a short time later. Hospital security staff had video of her breaking into the medication cart, according to police. — end of news item.

For those not familiar with the City of Buffalo streets, Buffalo General Medical Center (formerly known as Buffalo General Hospital) is on High st., one block east of Main St. North street is two blocks north of Main St. and Elmwood Ave is about 4 or 5 blocks west of Main St. – So when this girl ran out the hospital – probably from the new emergency room that has its entrance on North Street (yeah, BGMC is huge! that ER is two city blocks away from the wing that I work in). – So she headed up North St, dumped the evidence on Main St, and continued on North St. until she got to Elmwood Ave. – which is only about a 15-20 minute walk (I used to live on Elmwood Ave. and would walk to work, so I know).

So our security guys had the suspect captured on video, called Buffalo Police. Also, BGMC has its own fleet of security vehicles, and they may have tailed her and alerted the Buffalo Police as to where the suspect was headed.

On January 22, 2013, Joan Wheeler posted a lying comment of The Huffington Post falsely accusing me of calling from my employer (BGMC) and making appointments for her. – I’ve already blogged about that in this post. Joan Wheeler stupidly refuses to understand and respect personal boundaries February 15, 2013

I said in that post that there is no way for me to call from my employer and make appointments for her. I work the 7pm to 7am overnight shift and don’t get into the building until after 6pm. Departments that have appointments to be seen are long closed by the time I get there. Now, there are occasions that I might be in the building during the daytime. Even on those occasions it would be impossible for me to make appointments for Joan. I can’t just walk into the outpatient department and sit at the receptionist’s desk, and use their phone to call Joan.

Now don’t forget those ever-present security cameras that are all over the place! Why am I not on camera doing all these things that Joan is accusing me of? And if RUTH is calling on the phone, doesn’t Joan know my voice on the phone?

TELL US THE DETAILS JOAN! – You got a phone call setting you up for an appointment? When? What date and time did you receive this call or calls? What was the nature of the phone call? What was said? For what department or doctor or service was the appointment for?

See, this is what Joan does all the time – accuses me or other people of doing “things” to her, BUT SHE NEVER TELLS US THE DETAILS — SHE NEVER PROVIDES ANY PROOF OF IT!

In less than two weeks, I will DEMAND the proof of it. I want her to put up or shutup. I am sick and tired of these endless false accusation against me. This is slander Joan and you will pay for this slander.

I have challenged Joan Wheeler multiple times on this blog to a lie detector test. She has never responded. I am willing to take a lie detector test. Are you Joan? Either put up or shut up. Take a lie detector test or shut up. I will demand that the both of us take a lie detector test when we appear in court. I DEMAND IT!

Joan Wheeler says on Huffington Post that our complaints about her book was baseless. delusional liar that she is. January 17, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Joan Wheeler said on Huffington Post to Gert that our complaints to Trafford Publications (who published her book Forbidden Family) that our complaints were baseless. I placed the following two comments there today – Thursday, January 17, 2012:

Part 1: Forbidden Family replied elsewhere regarding allegations to falsehoods in her book Forbidden Family: “Your complaints were baseless; POD publisher a scam.”

POD – Print on Demand – Trafford Publication was not a scam. They printed a manuscript that the author said was fully truthful. Their standard contract (available on their website) read that no slanderous, libelous statements would be made. No obscene language or obscenities would be in the manuscript. The author of Forbidden Family signed the contract. A complaint sent to Trafford was sent which included the pages where the author used hate speech against those living in trailer parks, those of the Polish heritage and the Catholic religion. The page numbers were given where obscene language was used. The page numbers where falsehoods about me, my character and the authors constant reporting that I have a criminal record was given to the publisher, along with court documents. Those court documents that proved that the order of protection from 1993 was for six months, not one year, as reported in the book, or that I was sentanced to probation. There were other items sent to the publisher as well.

Part 2: It was determined by the publisher that the author also violate copyright laws by pubishing MY childhood photo on the back of the book, a family portrait taken in 1955. The author was not born until 1956, is not in the photo, was not the photographer, did not get MY permission, nor the 4 other living persons in the photo, for their likeness to be used on a product intended for monetary gain for the author.

Our complaints were baseless over a libelous book? I think not. on my blog at wordpress, refuting a book of lies on a post today I posted actual court documents that prove the author committed libel. The book was pulled from publication because the author violated the legal contract that she signed. She should not now be whining about it and blaming other. The blame lies squarely on her. here are the court documents that prove that Joan Wheeler is a liar January 17, 2013 ruthsippelpace, wordpress


here are the court documents that prove that Joan Wheeler is a liar January 17, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Scroll down to the end of this post to see the documents.

ALSO see updated info on end of this post

If Joan thinks that ACTUAL BUFFALO CITY COURT DOCUMENTS ARE NOT REAL – and she thinks that they don’t show the FACTS AND TRUTH behind the LIES that she said in that book and continues to spread on the internet: JOAN WHEELER IS SERIOUSLY MENTALLY ILL AND SHOULD BE COMMITTED.

I had posted on November 30, 2011, to this blog, the actual complaint that I sent to Trafford. See: “My complaint to Trafford Publications concerning the slander and libel contained in the book Forbidden Family by Joan WheelerNovember 30, 2011″ It’s a very long document. Because there was just so much shit in that book.

I sent copies (scanned) via mail, of the documents that supported what I said. It was a hard undertaking. Because in the book, Joan lumps together three separate court cases that we were involved in. The first one was in July – August 1993 that Joan had instituted over annoyance phone calls from me. That I made after she baited me into phoning her. She had already told the phone company that I was bothering her, had them install a phone trap (pre Caller-ID days) and then sent me a letter knowing I’d call her. I did, and she said “wait a minute” and hung up. I called back, she said something like she was having problems with the phone cord, hung up. I call again, CLICK. She then reported me for bothering her. And I got hauled into court. I got slapped with a six-month order of protection dated August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. That restraining order was listed as ACD – Adjournment on Condition of Dismissal – which means that at the end of the six months, if I had not done anything, the whole matter would be dropped – dismissed. No criminal record. And so it was. Despite her saying in the book that I violated the order of protection, (I did not) and that I have a criminal record. SEE DOCUMENT #1 BELOW.  Joan also wrote to Albany NY, child abuse center on Dec. 31, 1994 and falsely told them I was placed on probation – NO – IT WAS A RESTRAINING ORDER FOR THE DURATION OF SIX MONTHS – So we see how as far back as 1994 Joan has been saying that I have a criminal record when I do not. SEE DOCUMENT #2 BELOW.

People – don’t take my word for it. Or Joan’s – read the damn actual court document!

The second time we were in court – was because of the letter writing and phone calls she was making to my job and various elected officials, impugning my reputation. And she had the gall to send me copies of those letters. And I was getting blamed for a false child abuse call that I believe Joan made herself – to get ME in trouble. In February 1995 I filed a harassment charge on her. While waiting for the court date, Joan writes to MY fiance, via his mother’s house, asking him when he was leaving me. The judge dismissed the charges, saying “sisters should get along.” SEE DOCUMENTS #3 AND 4 BELOW.

See also DOCUMENT #7 BELOW – the letter written by Joan to my fiance John via his mother’s house, asking him if he was leaving me. – The whole child abuse call, was a set-up by Joan to break me and John up. She called child abuse on herself, using my name. She said “This is Ruth Sippel and Joan and her boyfriend John Pace are having sex in front of her kids.” – Now why would I call child abuse hotline, give out MY name, AND MY FIANCE’S NAME? I was living with the guy – why would I want him in jail? Does this make sense? (by the way, we bought our house in 1996 and got married in 2002 and are still going strong).

The next time we were in court was in 1999, when a former friend of Joan’s told me that Joan had made a death threat against me. Also, in 1998, Joan sent a letter to Gert to my house in an envelope addressed to me and my fiance. This AFTER the District Attorney’s office told us both to leave each other alone. – After the judge dismissed my case in 1995, I had gone back to the DA’s and bitched about it – how could someone be writing letters to my job, call my job repeatedly, trying to get me fired over false accusations and get away with it? They sent someone to my house and Joan’s house and told us both to stop it. Since I wasn’t doing anything TO stop, I was cool with their directive. And there was peace until 1998 when Joan sent that letter, then in February 1999, she sends ME a letter telling my that my fiance got the next door neighbor pregnant – when the house was vacant. Because of that letter and the death threat – I took her to Family Court and they gave me an order of protection against Joan for the duration of one year.

When I filed the charges in 1999, I told them all the stuff that had gone on before. The clerk made some handwritten notes and then I waited while the papers were typed up. The clerk went into the CITY OF BUFFALO COURT COMPUTER SYSTEM and noted the two previous times we had been in court – in 1993 and 1995. It correctly showed that in 1993 the order of protection was ACD and that my charge against Joan in 1995 was dismissed. It showed no other court dates, as we were never in court at any other time. – this document was sent to Trafford as proof of the actual court dates between us. SEE DOCUMENT #5 BELOW.

In Joan’s book, she has it down that we went to court in the summer of 1994 – over the false child abuse call – which in reality had not taken place until December 1994. She also stated in the book that there was a three month court battle. WRONG! – In 1995, we were in court for three days! – The first was on March 17, 1995 for her arraignment. We were in front of the judge for perhaps 10-15 minutes.The case was adjourned until a date in April. When we got there, the case was adjourned for a later date in May. Again, we were in front of the judge for about 10-15 minutes. When we got to court in May, again, we were in front of the judge for about 10-15 minutes. And the judge dismissed it. – That was in 1995.

Three month court battle? well, technically, yes, were in court for about 15 minutes in March, another 15 minutes in April, and another 15 minutes in May. But hardly the way she says in the book.

Also – in the case in 1999 – I brought up that Joan was going around telling people that I had a criminal record. Which was FALSE. I showed the judge in Family Court the order of protection that was summarily dismissed ACD and a certification of completion of a course that I took in 1998 at the Buffalo Police Academy, a course in conjunction with my work as a VIABLE (Volunteer In Asissting Buffalo Law Enforcement) – to augment my work as a neighborhood activist and block club leader. To be accepted into the program, I had to be free of a criminal record and a background check was done on me by the Buffalo Police Department. And NO CRIMINAL RECORD SHOWED UP. This background check was done early 1998 – nearly 5 years after the order of protection was dismissed ACD.

In Family Court – it is not set up like a regular court – you sit at a large table. I took my certificate out of my folder and handed it to the judge. SEE DOCUMENT #6 BELOW – A SCAN OF THE CERTIFICATE FROM THE BUFFALO POLICE DEPARTMENT WITH THE DATE OF AUGUST 29, 1998.

In the book, Joan has me screaming and yelling and waving the paper around bitching that I am on the police force. – really?

So in the book, Joan takes bits and pieces of all three court cases, and combines them into one court case in the summer of 1994. She has me waving my VIABLE certificate around in 1994, when I didn’t take the course until 1998.

Copies of the court documents and my VIABLE certificate were sent to Trafford and they determined that Joan did slander and libel me with her assertions in the book that in 1994 I had a criminal record when the Buffalo Police Department determined in 1998 that I NEVER HAD A CRIMINAL RECORD.

Here are the documents: click on them to see a larger view.

DOCUMENT #1 order of protection (ACD)  handed down to Ruth on August 9, 1993 for the dates August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994.

rest order aug 9 93 - Feb 9 94

DOCUMENT #2 – Joan’s letter to Albany, NY, dated Dec. 31, 1994 wherein Joan Wheeler SLANDERS AND LIBELS ME by stating that I was sentanced to probation when I was not. – An order of protection is NOT probation. It was dismissed on February 9, 1994. I did not and still do not have any criminal record.

Joan's letter to Albany Dec 31, 94 privacy

Document #3 My summons to court April 1995. Notice that it says Ruth Sippel  vs. Joan Wheeler – my name appears first because I filed the court case against her.

summons April 19 95 privacy

DOCUMENT #4 – Joan’s summons into court for March 1995. See the note below she wrote to my fiance and his mother – trying to get them to appear in court against me. What a delusional asshole – my mother in law never met Joan and wanted to slap her face when she saw this.



my petition Fam C. 01 6-4-99  privacy

DOCUMENT #6 – My VIABLE certificate from The Buffalo Police Department Academy dated AUGUST 29, 1998.

viable cert. 8-29-98





Faulty memory? BULLSHIT! Joan does not have faulty memory. She LIED.

Her viewpoint? BULLSHIT! You cannot have a point of view that differs from actual court proceedings, actual court rulings, actual court documents, actual police documents.



UPDATE Dec 2015; as older posts are being seen I’m (Gert) updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ yet again, her ‘story’, NOW called ‘duped by adoption’. There is NOTHING in it for adoption reform, for she is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…



a quick facebook exchange (me and Gert) the evening of Jan. 15, 2012, regarding Joan’s whining on Huffington Post January 15, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Gert Mcqueen

joan reads the blog and after this post was posted, she complainted and got my first two comments removed because I post the blog address. I had checked the guidelines and I read them to say that one could post an address and I have seen others…doesn’t matter, we blogged it all and people have been coming and reading and they do search terms etc

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace

right Gert – we’ve been “censored” before – that’s why we have the blogs – to tell our bare UNcensored truth and the facts AND actual documents that prove that we have told the truth and the FACTS of a situation. A court document that backs up what we say on our blog is a lot more credible than Joan’s “hearsay”

1. gertmcqueenJanuary 15, 2013

watch watch, yes I watch, you never know where I shall see…I remember all that you have done and I shall always find you…you who should be silent

Exactly what is the purpose of our blogs against Joan Wheeler – find out here January 7, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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In a comment to my last post, Joan Wheeler is starting her lying false accusations again – calling my job to make trouble January 6, 2013, My friend Nancy says: “… what is happening here, is she is feeding off the attention. She is an attention whore..”  And I answer here in this post.

Oh yes, Nancy, we are aware of that. As to your advice about ignoring her – it doesn’t work. I ignored her from 1995 to 1998. But what happened there was the district attorneys told us to leave each other alone (after she called child abuse on herself and blamed for it- to get John to leave me – the caller identified themself as me and named John. (like I’d stupid enough to give out my name and name my fiance as a child molestor). I took her to court for harassment, but the judge dismissed it. But the DA told us both to leave each other alone. No contact. In 1998, out of the blue, Joan writes Gert a letter, but addresses the envelope to me and John. (Gert had no contact with Joan since 1992).In 1999, again, out of the blue, I get a letter from Joan telling me John got the next door neighbor pregnant (the house was vacant). I took her to court and got a one-year restraining order on her. Didn’t hear anything about her until my brother died in 2003. I told Joan that I had website, an msn group for family photos and stories to share. I figured, lets cooperate via the internet – in January 2004 she sends me a nasty email accusing me of plotting against her. That’s when I said let her rot. Didn’t hear anything again until her book came out and I found all the twisted lies and slander in it.

We were successful in getting that book pulled – but she and her little friend Brian have two hate blogs against us – and until those blogs are taken down, Gert and I will continue to speak out.

All her life she had been spoiled rotten – raised as only child, she was never told “NO.” She thinks everything is for HER. Even when she was married and had kids, everything was for HER – money went for HER adoption conferences – yet she complained left and right how poor she was. In July 1986, The Monkees, Gary Puckett of the Union Gap, and The Grassroots were on an Oldies Tour and were booked for the Chautauqua Institute, Southern Tier of Western New York. Joan and her husband wanted to go and I went with them. It was a really nice concert. In September, they added Buffalo to the tour and Joan called me up to see if I wanted to go. No, I couldn’t afford it. I enjoyed myself at the concert, but I had bills to pay, rent, etc. etc. Joan called me up the next day – she had a dream about Mickey Dolenz (of the Monkees) and now she simply HAD to go. fine, whatever. So she goes. The next week, she calls me up crying – her electricity is being shut off. – Okay, what’s wrong with this picture? You don’t get your electricity shut off unless you don’t pay your bill for more than about 3 or 4 months. That’s counting back to maybe June or July. You have money to see a concert TWICE, but you don’t have money to pay your electric bill. Oh and I should mention – at this point in time she had a three year old son and WAS EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT!

In 1990, I foolishly entered into a real estate plan with her and her husband – to buy an apartment building together. I fronted the money for the down payment (borrowed from credit cards) and Joan was dipping into the joint checking account for living expenses, even tho she had a husband who had a job. In September ’90 we dissolved the partnership and I was missing money – almost 900.00. Also the lawyer was to refund 300.00 but he split the refund between me and Joan – even all the money came initially from me. Joan said when she cashed the check she would give it to me. (this was now December 90) Then Joan called me up and said she was keeping the money – MY money to provide xmas for her kids. That was the end for me – I told her “fuck you get the hell out of my life.” And she’s been punishing me ever since.

She never wanted to get a job. Her big fantasy was that book. She fantasied that it would be a million dollar best seller and be made into a movie (ala Lifetime). And she would be rich. She wanted to be rich on the backs of our family and the tragic death of a young mother (my mom). AND her other big dream was to be this big-ass adoption expert and earn monies on speaking engagements on the adoption lecture circuit.

Gert and I don’t really care about any adoption issues – what we do care about is Joan’s continual lies about our family and misrepresentations about our family and the circumstances of her adoption. Even though we were successful in getting that book pulled from publication – she still goes on different internet forums and blabs bullshit stories about OUR childhood! She was given up for adoption in 1956. She was reunited with us in 1974. She wasn’t there when we were kids – who gave her the right to blab lying stories about me, Gert, and the rest of our siblings on the internet?

Her biggest dream, as with most adoptees, was being reunited with her birth family. At the age of 16, she made the conscious decision to find us. In 1974, when she was 18 – legal age – we found her. BUT by 1980, we could see that she was NOT someone we wanted in our lives. She writes in her book that we wanted to mold her into our vision of what we wanted her to be. NOT TRUE! We wanted to be reunited with our younger sister – what we got was someone who did not have the same moral values as us. Lying, stealing, manipulating, making trouble – she was doing that as a young adult and is still doing it. One by one, we turned our backs on her – not just Gert and me, but our siblings, our extended family. My father and me – we were the ones who TRIED for years to keep a relationship with her. Throughout the 80’s I turned my cheek to her lies, her disrespect. I turned the cheek so many times I ran out of cheeks. She wanted her birth family. She got us – then lost us – because of her own actions.

By the year 2008 – Joan WAS out of our lives – or so we thought. Those years between 2004 (when I got that accusing email and I booted her off my family website) and 2008, going into 2009, were quiet years. Little did we know, that Joan was feverishly finishing up that dam book. I have a 1999 manuscript and although I dont’ like it, it’s not as bad as the finished product. Because the old manuscript does not have almost every other page Brenda this, Brenda that (Brenda is me) and other HATREDS spewed out to other family members – dead members of our family – my uncle, my cousin Gail – who never bothered anyone, who was harassed by Joan while she was battling cancer. In the book, Joan’s hatred for Gail is quite evident – yet the bitch showed up at Gail’s wake in 2003.

I just spoke to a couple of my cousins at a family get-together on Dec. 23, 2012 and was asked, “why Gail? She never hurt anyone?”

Our blog is not just for things that Joan has done to me and Gert – it is for the honor of our entire family – who Joan has sullied and told lies about for years – in person, in print, and on the internet. Joan is a bully – plain and simple as that – a BULLY and the best way to deal with a bully is to shed light on their words and deeds. – That’s what this blog is about.

To see further goals – go to this post: What is Demanded from Joan Wheeler.

Gert, from facebook:  “just the fact that Joan can’t get rid of us and that she has to speak our names must really taste like garbage to her (I like) she says that she is NOT in our lives, not physically but in every other way she is and it’s all her own doing. I told her that she can do the right thing but she refuses so she has to have live with our names coming out of every pore in her body until she does the right thing, remove her and boyfriend’s hate blogs and shut up it’s her choice.”

2. gertmcqueen – January 7, 2013

Gert here…
excellent post Ruth!

Ruth quotes me at the end of this post from what I said last night on facebook…and I shall add this…why do we not ignore Joan?

Joan in 1980 interfered with my minor children and the ADOPTION of my son, then called 2 child abuses reports on me when I told her to get lost, I had 10 years of no Joan. I tried to reconcile in 92 in a afternoon visit but by that evening got back-stabbed, then she writes me 98 trying to get MY attention, I told get lost, In 98 she writes to my daughter asking her to commit a crime. In 2004 or 05 I TRULY wanted to bury it all and called her, she told me SHE LOVED ME, she loved me so much that in 2009 she told all kinds of lies about me, my children, my family EVERYONE, in that fucking book.

I have had 4 contacts with that bitch in 30 years and then she writes libel SHE WILL HEAR FROM ME TILL SHE DOES RIGHT OR DIES. Her choice…I’m in it for the long ran…
if she didn’t doesn’t want us in her life she never SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN THAT FUCKING BOOK

 5. RuthJanuary 7, 2013

Nancy, your comment tho very good is just too long to put in the body of the post here, and I know your heart is there. I will try to answer. we know that Joan is hurting. We don’t know exactly what happened, but we know her adoptive mother was a nutcase. We don’t want to talk to her adoptive family – they don’t like Joan either. As much as we may have some sympathies for Joan – we draw the line when she delibrately sets out to destroy us. In my case: After I cut her out of my life in 1990 – she went on a campaign of retaliation – set me up in 1993. She called the phone company to complain that I was calling her multiple times and swearing at her on the phone. I was not. She insisted the phone company put a tap on her line (this was pre-caller ID) then she forged a letter – she made it look like it was a letter from her own 10 year old son. The letter was for John, but then Joan put it in an envelope and addressed it to me. She baited me. I stupidly took the bait – I called her up, say Hi. She says, “just a minute.” click. I though we were disconnected. I call back. same thing. I call again. same thing. BINGO! You only need three calls to show it is “harassment.” When the police called me – I told them the truth and I told him about how she swindled me out of almost $900.00. He was pissed. He said he would tell Joan to drop any charges, but she didn’t. I got hauled into court and was given a restraining order to stay away from her for 6 months. Because I didn’t do anything, after 6 months, it was dismissed, no record. I was never arrested, I have no criminal record. Joan says that the restraining order was for one year, and that I was arrested and placed on probation, and I have posted to this blog actual court documents that tell the truth. Then in 1994, she called child abuse on herself and posed as me – this was her attempt to break me and John up. She even wrote him letters to his mother’s house asking him to leave me. Then in 1994-95, she’s calling my job to get me fired.


6. RuthJanuary 7, 2013

as to any suggestion of any kind of counseling or family remediation – it is long way past the time for that. In 1993, when she hoodwinked the phone company and the police into thinking I was making multiple annoyance calls, and we got to court, the court suggested a mediator. I agreed. Joan refused. With Joan it is going to be HER way – all the way – and no it will NOT be that way – because I, and Gert, and the rest of our family are NOT going to tolerate being walked on. Even after all the fighting, I call her up to be nice to her – to tell her that our aunt, the person she was originally named for died – and all Joan could do was spew obscenties at me – screaming at me over the phone. She needs to learn that she cannot treat people that way. The ball is in her court. She needs to stop being an ass and become a woman who respects other people. She wants respect? She has to give it first. No one is going to respect a person who continually disrespects others, especially innocent people.

Joan Wheeler is starting her lying false accusations again – calling my job to make trouble January 6, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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First, let’s take a look at a couple of tweets I found – from Joan herself:

Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily to @slyoung50 Hi! Received a Direct Mess from you about a link; it was spam. I s your accounthacked? IF you get spammed by my sisters, tell me

Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily:  If anyone receives any tweets from my sisters, please let me know. They love to cause troublefor me. I am not in their lives at all.

So I answered:

@ruthsippelpace riiight- so why did she call my job after Thanksgiving false accusing me of computer fraud on my job same shit she did in 95

Ruth Pace‏@ruthsippelpace @ruthsippelpace said I using BGH computers to visit Amazon – she don’t work there in the middle of the night – how does she know what I do

Ruth Pace‏@ruthsippelpace @ruthsippelpace Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily is a liar and a troublemaker – called my job AGAIN to make trouble –   Ruth Pace‏@ruthsippelpace @ruthsippelpace Joan Wheeler called my job in 1995 almost everyday for months to get me fired – she’s at it again. lying troublemaker   Ruth Pace‏@ruthsippelpace @ruthsippelpace hospital adminstrators investigated Joan’s latest false accusation – found me innocent AGAIN give it up asshole Joan

So what is going on? I will tell you: Back in December 2009 when I first started this blog, Joan was having conniption fits because I was daring to stand up to her bullying lies contained her trash book. I had at the time, a desktop computer, a Dell with Windows 2000 on it. I bought it in 2006 from a used computer store. In September 2009, I purchased an Acer Aspire One notebook – because I do a lot of typing, – I write a lot, and listen to music. I have over 850 albums/cds of music digitized.

When I used to take the bus to work, I would get to work 45 minutes before my start time. So I had time to go to the medical library and use the complimentary PUBLIC computers there. We can access the internet, play games on Pogo.com, shop, do anything. Prior to getting my own home computer, I used those computers to type out the bi-monthly newsletters for my Star Trek group, save it to disk and have Michelle, our group’s organizer print them out at her house. I had to do most of the typing and help with the printing and collating and stapling because she has MS. When I got my own computer, I didn’t have to rely on the computers in the medical library anymore. And the little Acer was perfect for me – I would get to work early and work on the newsletter, or on my lunch break, and listen to my music too! And yes, during my OFF WORK hours I accessed the internet. and by the way – this is all sanctioned by my employer.

So what does Joan do? She’s sees me on the internet in the middle of the night on Facebook and right away ASSUMES that I am using my employer’s computers for fooling around. WRONG.  I take my lunchbreak at 2am. And I wrote about this nonsense  back in 2009! Joan even said on her website that I am “using hospital computers to access websites that I shouldn’t be going on.” – Oh? Does Joan work at my company? Does she make the rules there? What an ass. NO, idiot, I was on MY  PERSONAL MINI LAPTOP! I blogged about it in this post: defamation of character December 11, 2009
This wasn’t the first time Joan had accused me of computer fraud. Back in 1994 – her hospital bill got mixed up with someone else who had a similar name. She right away calls my job to say that I did it. They traced it down to a typo that was made at 4pm. – I work the night shift – I am not in the building at 4 in the afternoon. And my employer  knew I didn’t do it. But Joan wasn’t going to have it. She just KNEW I did it. Never mind that my employers themselves explained to Joan that I didn’t do, couldn’t do it. The computers we had in 1994 were DOS computers. All employees had a signon name and a password, same as today. In my job function as nurses aide, I signed onto the computer, and the ONLY PROGRAM THAT I HAD ACCESS to was to type in a patient’s temperature and blood pressure. In addition: THE COMPUTERS AT THE NURSE’S STATION WERE NOT EVEN HOOKED UP TO THE BILLING COMPUTERS! The billing computers were in a locked office – where I could not get to. HOSPITAL SECURITY CAMERAS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THE COMPUTER SECURTIY SYSTEM, NOW, JUST LIKE IN 1994 CAN TRACE EVERY KEYSTROKE YOU DO.

I was investigated in 1994. AND FOUND INNOCENT. But as I said, Joan wasn’t going to have it. She called my job nearly every day for six months trying to get me fired. She also wrote a three page letter to the director of patient finances – this letter was scanned and posted on this blog in this post: Guessing Game Time – What year did that child abuse call against Joan Wheeler really occur? 1993? 1994? 1995? 1996? Joan has reported all 4 years! -why can’t she make up her mind? November 19, 2010 – so go and read an actual letter that Joan Wheeler wrote to my employer in 1995 to see her exact words – which are a bunch of harassing lies – AND she is telling this guy – a stranger to me – personal and medical information about me. Which has what to do with an accusation of computer fraud?

I also blogged about the whole incident in this post: Ruining someone’s personal and professional reputation December 12, 2009

So last week, January 4, I had a meeting with adminstration – someone wrote a letter to my employee back in November 2012, just after Thanksgiving, which was on Nov. 22, saying that I was “using hospital computers to access websites that I shouldn’t be going on.” – the exact same words Joan said back in 2009. And again, using their computer security systems, they investigated me and — FOUND ME INNOCENT!

Well, Joan also said that I was going to Amazon.com – SPECIFICALLY NAMED AMAZON.COM. I do have an account at amazon, and an amazon store card – just last week I placed an order – I ordered Kevin Sorbo’s book “True Strength” and the second season of Star Trek the Next Generation dvd set. I never did any online banking or shopping prior to having my own computer – because using “shared” computers is a security risk.

But what is interesting about specifically naming Amazon – it was just at that time, we found an adoptee puppet of Joan’s – Heather Holmes of the UK had put out a second book review of Joan’s lying book. Gert answered that book review, as was her right, with a rebuttal review. And she shared her review on twitter, which is also her right. Gert was following some adoption sites, as was her right, and her post was retweeted by someone and the tweet showed up on Heather’s newsfeed. Heather immediately got whacked out of shape and accused us of stalking her. I tell the story on these two blog posts of November 23 and 24. — The internet, social media and Twitter newsfeed and people getting all bent out of shape over nothing. geez! November 23, 2012  and People who put out too much personal information on the public internet and then bitch when people see it – dey be LOSERS!

So IMMEDIATELY AFTER I BLOGGED THESE POSTS, Joan fires off a letter to my employee accusing me of computer fraud. My employer takes this stuff seriously, so they investigated it. AND FOUND ME INNOCENT ONCE AGAIN. Now, I was on my Yule vacation from December 11 to December 28. I was not told about this stuff until January 2 when the meeting was set up. Why? Because I was told they wanted me to enjoy my holiday. At the meeting, I was not accused. I was informed as to what was going on. They said that I was investigated and found innocent. So my employer has my back. They know damn well I am innocent. And they know that someone is fucking with me and they will know that that person is a liar, a troublemaker and an asshole.

And apparently last October, she took in a tenant, who promptly moved out a week later! I received a private message from him telling me this and that Joan is a LIAR – AND MENTALLY DERANGED. His initials are D.K. I do not this person. Never met him. Don’t know how he got my name – obviously from Joan who keeps spreading shit lies about me. But says on twtter last night that she is not in my life.



breaking news and a warning to authorites about Joan Wheeler, who I believe is a menace to society August 1, 2012  and  New whine by Joan Wheeler – and how she shifts the blame off herself onto other people. September 15, 2010

Gert’s tweets about this latest attack on us:

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen

@slyoung50 Hi! Received a Direct Mess from you about a link; it was spam. Is your account hacked? IF you get spammed by my sisters, tell me

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace good question!! she must NEED ATTENTION again, she wants us out of her life, she needs to take DOWN the hate blogs

27mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace yes joan wheeler is at it again, making false statements against us, she is in our lives with her/boyfriend’s blogs

31mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @gertmcqueen @slyoung50 don’t know what joan wheeler thinks, she most certainly IS IN OUR LIVES she has hate blogs against us

32mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen@gertmcqueen @slyoung50 this from joanwheeler forbiddenfamily, we sisters are not doing anything, joan is paranoid and starting trouble

33mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen If anyone receives any tweets from my sisters, please let me know. They love to cause trouble for me. I am not in their lives at all.

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace Joan does NOTHING in the open, she only operates under falsehoods & uses others to attack us

22mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace this is ALL on my blog for the entire world to see, joan & brian need to get a f…ing life and stay out of ours

23mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace so joan &brian insult, harass, accuse us AGAIN over our negative reviews on amazon uk and heatherUK and them plot against us

24mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace joan & brain maloney &heatherUK are pissed cause we wrote a negative review, heatherUK accussed me of stalking her here

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace joan wheeler wrote to my daughter asking her to commit crime in 1998, letter is on my blog, ALL evidence is on our blogs

16mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace joan believes everyone is as stupid as she is, WHY is joan writing to anyone’s job? because joan is a trouble maker

20mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen  @ruthsippelpace joan wheeler forbiddenfamily is a fool has a long history of this kind of shit & her hencemen are fools to believe her

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @slyoung50 if you NEVER got a spam from me, better tell forbiddenfamily joan wheeler to take a hike, she is trouble I just followed @slyoung50 ..NEVER did before, but looks like if I’m accused of something better follow the trail

comment by Gert
Submitted on 2013/01/06 at 10:02 am

Joan really must have gotten off her depression and is now on her manic side! Right after Joan writes to Ruth’s employer, she also placed a comment, without her name of course, on Brian’s blog and he answered it, they are a tag team you know, see it here

Brian Maloney, of Williamsville NY, continues his hate speech against the birthsiblings of Joan Wheeler!
by gertmcqueen on December 29, 2012

I will try to get the above as a link… done…see link…

gertmcqueen – January 6, 2013

I just re-read these letters of Joan’s to Ruth’s employer years ago, I had forgotten how disgusting there were…and it amazes me that people DON’T see how fucking sick she is…Brian Maloney are you listening? All these adoptees hate us birth siblings but NONE of them are willing to look at the documented evidences of Joan Wheeler’s actions, in print. And the way that Joan describes these things in that dead book are totally contradictory to what is in the evidence…Joan Wheeler is a sick sick person.

3. RuthJanuary 6, 2013

here we see what goes in Joan’s little bitty mind: as always – whenever something happens – it’s her birth sisters’ fault.  She is ALWAYS accusing us of something. This woman, SLYoung gets her account hacked. Joan right away accuses US of doing it.

This is what Joan has done all her life – blame other people for everything. Especially Ruth. Joan gets a cold? Ruth must have sneezed and gave it to her. Never mind that Ruth is nowhere near her. Joan gets a flat tire on the New York State Thruway? Why, that sly little devil Ruth must have known Joan was coming on that particular stretch of road, drove over there, and put broken glass there. SHUT YOUR MOUTH JOAN AND GROW THE HELL UP. HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW? YOU’RE GONNA BE 57 YEARS OLD TOMORROW? WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL ACTING LIKE A FRIGGIN 10 YEAR OLD?

4. RuthJanuary 6, 2013

what was it that Joan wrote on twitter to S.L.Y.? – “Received a Direct Mess from you about a link..” Direct Mess? Direct MESS? oh you got that right Missy Joanie – you made a damn mess of it – opened your stupid mouth and started some shit. GROW UP.

5. kimberlyhardingJanuary 6, 2013

This is just such an amazing scenario, it’s hard to believe.

It is hard to believe Kim – but this is what this little brat has been doing for years! what asshole keeps calling someone’s job with the same stupid false accusation and sees that the worker is STILL working there? And we have the proof of the twitter episode right there – everything was copied and pasted right off Joan’s own twitter profile! ok, my little stories about her getting a cold or a flat tire being my fault was a bit of playful exagerattion – but I tell you the truth when I say that Joan blames ME for just about everything bad in her life. Or if not me, my other sisters, our dad, our family, our friends, her ex-friends, her ex-landlady, her ex-husband, and on and on and on. It’s ALWAYS the fault of someone else! And her mouth just kees on running like the Energizer Bunny! case in point: In November 2009 I called her up to tell her a family member died. She didn’t like the fact that my father gave me her phone number. So she starts yelling at me on the phone – screaming obscenities at me. I drive to dad’s house – she had called him and did the same to him. When I got home, there was a message from Town of Tonawanda police that Ruth, Gert and Kathy are not call Joan again. um, it was RUTH who called, not Gert, nor Kathy. Gert called the police to tell them this, and they said, “don’t worry about it, we know all about her (Joan)” – so even the police know what an ass Joan is.

7. RuthJanuary 6, 2013

oh I found that S. Young – she lives in Texas. She’s got a kind face. She was forced to give up her child for adoption in 1967, a coerced young girl. So that’s how Joan latched onto her – Joan makes a big show how she feels sorry for unwed teens forced to give up thier kids to adoption. But I guess S.Y. sees what a roitten person Joan is now. Joan is just as bad as those who coerced her back in 1967 – these anti-adoptees don’t care about S’s feelings – they see her and those like her as pawns to use in their campaing against adoption – Joan USED this person in an attack on us – Joan has no shame. – no hacking needed – S.Y. put all this stuff on public internet.

8. Nancy – January 7, 2013

Wow really? Is this the same person who made enough trouble in the past years? I thought it was all over and done, Iam so sorry Ruth, Gert for the harrsing and taunting you two ladies had to go through. Sometimes it’s hard for people to understand the meaning of ” Stop” Leave us alone” Leave me alone!! Or just STOP!! Sometimes they dont understand their bounderies. So Iam assuming this is what she is not understanding with you. So my advise is since you was always found inocent with your employers as well the lies were discovered by this women. Change your feelings towards stupidity. By not replying nor posting reply’s back to her. Because what is happening here, is she is feeding off the attention. She is an attention whore..Pardon the word, but this is what I call rampaged attention whore!! Not the type to find men and climb with them, but women who are bored with their lives as well have nothing to do with it. So, they find a thrill seeker for spauning like trout or samon in cold water. Trouble makers. Let them find somewhere else to haunt. I promise if you just let her continue to fake her crap, and post what ever lies she posts. People will ignore her and she will basically find somewhere and someone else to haunt. Sorry ladies, she would just be wasting my time. And my time is tooo presious. Good Luck Head Hunting!! Love ya Madamstar )O(

I posted a new post: Exactly what is the purpose of our blogs against Joan Wheeler – find out here January 7, 2013  which addresses the questions Nancy has raised.

 10. RuthJanuary 7, 2013

Last night, Gert went into that lying book and quoted a few sentances where Joan discusses her first attempt in accusing me of computer fraud. She accused me, they investigated, found me innocent, but SHE WOULD NOT ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I WAS INNOCENT! SHE DID NOT WANT TO ACCEPT THE REALITY THAT RUTH DID NOT MESS UP HER BILL! Gert tweeted these actual sentances from the book:

gert mcqueen‏@gertmcqueen – pg332/333 of joan wheeler’s hate book she details ‘her story’ of how she believed it was Ruth who was getting into her medical records

gert mcqueen‏@gertmcqueen quoting Joan ‘I called the head of the billing dept & told him everything that had been going on….’

gert mcqueen‏@gertmcqueen quoting Joan ‘letter arrived saying error was a computer glitch & my sister wasn’t involved, I wasn’t convinced’

gert mcqueen‏@gertmcqueen quoting Joan ‘I called the billing department where (Ruth) worked’ lots of drama then ‘called for an investigation to put a stop to it’

bottom line: Joan’s calling my job was not for any kind of concern of me accessing medical records or abusing hospital computers – her motive for calling my job is retaliation – pure and simple hatred and troublemaking. Will she never grow up?

The Flame Against Shame – dedicated to Brian Maloney and Joan Wheeler December 7, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life.
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Flame against Shame

A dear friend of mine wrote this yesterday and with her permission, I am sharing it:

“Never beat yourself down for making mistakes. While you should be rewarding yourself for those mistakes, why? Because you learn to grow and learn from those mistakes. If not so, then you would never be here teaching others. Im one to be the first to apologize and ask forgiveness for my mistakes. Then I reward myself with a quote on my fridge, saying., “Hello I’m such a Human”!.”

The other day, Joan’s puppet Brian said this to me and Gert: “If you were not trying to hide something you might be ashamed of, you would not be trying so hard to discredit what was said.”

First, the beginning of his statement does not correlate with the second part of what he said. – When I am writing about “discrediting” Joan – what I am doing is CORRECTING THE LIES SHE HAS SAID ABOUT ME. For example – in her book and on the internet Joan says that I have a criminal record – NO I DO NOT. Joan says that I have been arrested – I have never been arrested in my life. Joan LIES about me in the book. She says that I went to a fertility clinic – NO I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO A FERTILITY CLINIC. And even I had – where does she have the right to put that in her book?  Joan LIES in her book that in a court case in 1994 her children were on the stand testifying against me – THIS NEVER HAPPENED. Joan LIES in her book that she never harassed me – I have scanned and posted to my blog actual letters that Joan wrote to my fiance and his mother – trashing me – I have scanned and posted to my blog actual letters from Joan to me and Gert wherein she is harassing me after the Erie County District Attorney told her to leave me alone. I have scanned and posted to this blog an actual letter that Joan wrote to my employer falsely accusing me of computer fraud and in this letter to a complete stranger to me – she is giving this man personal details of my health and my private life. Brian- you need to do your homework and SEE WHAT YOUR LITTLE GOODY-TWO-SHOES FRIEND HAS DONE. These documents were sent to Trafford Publishing and this is why the book is dead.

Brian also says: You may very well have your own story to tell, and that may differ from Joan’s. Each person has their own version of how things happened, and each person has the right to free speech.

Well, now let’s take his last sentance first: “each person has the right to free speech.” – so Brian, if each person has the right to free speech, and I therefore have the right to free speech, as you just said, then why are you bitching about what I say here? You just put your foot in your mouth sir.

Brian says: ” Each person has their own version of how things happened,” – Maybe – HOWEVER – I AM RELYING ON ACTUAL CITY OF BUFFALO COURT DOCUMENTS THAT PROVE THAT JOAN’S VERSON OF HOW THINGS HAPPENED IS A LIE. And I don’t need to have a “different version” to know THAT I HAVE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED NOR DO I HAVE A CRIMINAL RECORD. Facts are facts and those are the facts.

These documents have been on this blog for almost three years. Joan has had ample time to examine those documents and refresh her faulty memory and come forth WITH THE TRUTH.

Now as to the accusation that I am hiding something that I might be ashamed of – oh, so now this Reiki healer is stooping to emotional blackmail and threats, just as Joan has done in the past. In her book and on her cyberbullying page Joan threatened us with “exposing secrets” that we don’t want to come out. I have listed here below,in chronological order, SEVEN BLOG POSTS dating from January 3, 2010 to April 4, 2012, where we tell Joan to stop her emotional blackmail – we have nothing to hide and will not be held hostage to Joan’s threats. In fact, here is an additional comment that I wrote on September 21, 2010 in the post numbered 3 below:   I AM A HUMAN BEING WITH MY OWN RIGHTS AND DIGNITIES AND I REFUSE TO BE DICTATED TO BY JOAN WHEELER.   Joan hinted at “secrets” in her book. Secrets that her sister have and are afraid of having put out – we said it once before on this blog and here it is again: WHATEVER SECRETS YOU THINK YOU CAN HOLD HOSTAGE OVER OUR HEADS SPEAK THEM NOW – FOR WE WILL NOT BE HELD FOR EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL BY YOU JOAN! WE WILL NOT OBEY YOU, PROPERLY OR IMPROPERLY.

Now as to being ASHAMED of anything I did in the past: No sir, I am not ashamed of anything I ever did. And Brian had also tried to blackmail me with something I did in the past. But like the fool that he is, he stooped to listening to 30 year old GOSSIP from Joan about a young woman named Shadya. I posted all about her in my post of July 7, 2012.  This post contains scans of a card that I received from Shadya in 1985, putting to rest any filthy gossip about her and me. Grow up gossipers.

To sum up: I met Shadya in 1977, when she was dating the brother of my then husband Abdo. We had gone on a picnic. I thought she was very nice. I did not see for about a month, and one night after Abdo left the house to go to a birthday party and I was home alone, getting ready to go to work, I received a prank phone call. I knew I heard the voice before, but could not place it. But a couple of months later, I talked to Shadya, and recognized her voice. It was she who had made the prank call. She did other things, trying to break me and Abdo up. From 1978 to 1983, yes, Shadya and I did not get along. We had arguments, and one knock-down brawl in September 1979.- She laid hands on me first – so I defended myself. I am not proud of how I behaved, but I am not ASHAMED – there is a difference. I acted badly to this woman. And so did she act badly to me. In 1984, I had a talk with her and I apologized to her. I think I could have handled the situation better than the way I did in 1977, but hey – as my friend said “Never beat yourself down for making mistakes. While you should be rewarding yourself for those mistakes, why? Because you learn to grow and learn from those mistakes.” – Shadya and I forgave each other and in 1985, when I was in the hospital after miscarrying my son, Shadya sent me a card, and when I got home, she called me up and offered to cook several dinners and send them over to me in tupperwares. Shadya no longer lives in Western New York. I know where she lives, and I will NOT tell anyone where she lives. She lives in another state. She is married again. A couple of years ago, on her 50th birthday, we communciated together via facebook. She is doing very well. I am happy for her. She was happy for me that John and I got married, as she had met John in the late 80’s.

So much for Brian trying to get me to feel “ashamed” for what I “did” to an Arab lady whose name begins with an S – as he tried to throw in my face back in July 2012. Oh – by the way, she wasn’t Arab – she was born in the United States to a Puerto Rican woman and an Indonesian/Yemeni man. GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT BEFORE YOU SPREAD GOSSIP JOAN AND REPEAT IT BRIAN!

Shame is a toxic emotion and I do not deal in that. I live my life the way I see fit. I AM a human being who makes mistakes. And from time to time, have made mistakes and mis-quotes on my blog, and when I find them, I don’t just delete and “fix” the post – I OWN UP TO MY MISTAKES – I TELL MY BLOG READERS WHAT I SAID WRONG AND GO ON – NO SHAME INVOLVED. Just as I said above: I have posted actual court documents and even handwritten letters – written by Joan Wheeler herself – that prove that “her side” of the story is a faulty memory at best, or out and out LIES at worst. Joan has had ample time to review those documents and correct her lies and “mistakes.”

I forgave Shadya for what she did to me back in the late 70’s – early 80’s. And I have forgiven myself. Because in 1977 – I was only 25 years old – I am more than twice that age now – and have learned much.


Now Brian – go back and read these posts where we have already addressed the issue of supposedly having little secrets and deeds that we want hidden. As usual, Brian – you are a couple of years late in your research and threats. Grow up little man. REAL men, GROWN-UP men, don’t listen to, repeat, nor believe baseless 30 year old GOSSIP! Get with the times man! This is 2012, not 1983. And we have already dealt with the issues of “little dirty secrets” in these old, posts:

1. attention adopion reformers part 2 January 3, 2010

2. Open letter to and about Joan Wheeler, from her eldest birth sister Gert McQueen January 7, 2010

3. Adoptee’s tantrums nothing special – Childhood bipolar disorder article by child psychologist John Rosemund, September 14, 2010 September 21, 2010

4. Facts are Stubborn Things Part 1 November 10, 2010

5.What is the REAL reason behind Joan Wheeler’s rant on the Huffington Post? March 9, 2011

6. Evidence that Joan Wheeler has violated the Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers March 10, 2011

7.The latest “wisdom” from Joan Wheeler, um, well, actually, she’s trying to show that she has some widsom April 14, 2012


kimberlyhardingDecember 7, 2012

You are so correct- shame is a toxic emotion!!  Keep putting your story out there. It needs to be heard! I love what your friend says about mistakes – mistakes are truly a means for transformation. Thank youl.

3. gertmcqueenDecember 7, 2012[Edit]

Gert here:

Thank you Kim for your insights!


This is correct, Joan has NEVER admitted ANY of her dirty deeds/words…she is always right/correct, everyone else is the problem/trouble-maker, etc.

I did in 1992 FORGIVE her for events she did to me in 82, BUT within 9 hours of seeing me that day, she started more crap; that told me alot; she is EVIL, stay away. Then I heard more of what she did to Kathy and Ruth and somehow we all got along without Joan in our lives. About 8 or 9 years ago, when Dad was ill, I WANTED to put all this behind and I called Joan, she tolded me she LOVED me. No she didn’t cause she had every intention of using that phone conversation for another ‘harassment’ to her, by me…but I didn’t know at the time.

When Joan published in nov 2009, that libelous evil hatred of a book against every member of two families, birth and adopted, she did the worst…character asassination of FAMILY. Not only did she violated, the DIVORCE I had with her and DIDN’T stay away, she continued lying and fabricating in the book. I found out only in 2011 MORE dirty deeds she did to family including asking my daughter to commit a crime for her!

Joan, by writing/publishing that piece of garbage, VIOLATED the peace between every member of our family and NOW she has us TILL DEATH DO WE PART. and that is VOW we will keep…

I was willing many years ago to forgive Joan, attempted to 3 times, but this will never be forgiven, nor forgotten…kin-killing is a crime in many places! Joan is a kin-killer and a soul-killer and she has to live with that reputation! She wanted to tell her story, the way she saw it, fine, NOW she can’t get out of it…TILL DEATH DO WE PART

I am not ashamed of anything in my life, some regrets, but not shame! I have already written/spoken about what Joan thinks she HAS ON ME…silly little sleasy ass…and gossiper that she is…to Brian Maloney who obviously relishes hearing gossip and loves to taunt women! Asshole.

PS while typing I noticed that the word ‘assination’ could be the asassination of an ass…does that apply here…if Joan is an ass…then we are doing ass-ination!

on Gert’s blog, a new post October 9, 2012

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Joan Wheeler knows about personal boundaries…NOT.

by  on October 9, 2012

Dumb-ass sisters and their delusions, Joan Wheeler speaks again September 19, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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here’s the latest over at Gert’s blog….

Dumb-ass sisters and their delusions…is how Joan Wheeler describes her birth sisters on an adoptee site!

1. RuthSeptember 20, 2012

tell me again Brian Maloney how Joan is the innocent “victim” – when on September 10, 2012, she’s on the internet saying her birhtsisters are dumbasses? – well Joan – a double dumbass on you AND idiot Brian.

Joan Wheeler NEVER was a sibling of ours, she is ‘the adoptee’! (from that book) September 2, 2012

Posted by gertmcqueen in Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Our Family History, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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come over to Gert’s blog to see my revisted post of another couple of chapters of Joan’s libelous book…

Joan Wheeler NEVER was a sibling of ours, she is ‘the adoptee’! (from that book)


Joan Wheeler NEVER was a sibling of ours, she is ‘the adoptee’! (from that book) by gertmcqueen

RE: Joan Wheeler (Forbidden Family) – The Truth is Out There. And we have brought it forth. August 31, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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We have used actual court documents that prove the truth.

NOTE see end of this post for update

We have used actual handwritten letters – written by Joan Wheeler herself.

These documents have been scanned and posted on this blog.

They are undeniable.

Who so ever denies the truth that is revealed by these documents is an idiot.

How does one explain the discrepency between what is written in a libelous book and websites, and an actual Buffalo City Court document? If the person REFUSES to explain the difference, yet continues to scream and rant that the libelous book told the truth – that person cannot be called rational. If their friend takes the same postion and performs the same actions (refusing to explain the difference, and continues to promote a proven lie as truth), that person is also NOT RATIONAL.

Two plus two equals 4. That is the Truth. No amount of neurotic attempts to change it to equal 5 will ever work. Facts are facts.

Joan Wheeler lied in her book Forbidden Family. I have posted actual Buffalo City Court documents on this blog that irrefutibly proves this. No amount of neurotic attempts to change it will succeed.

Also: anybody who says it is Joan Wheeler’s “point of view” that certain things happened the way she reports in her book, is also being irrational.

Again, 2 + 2 equals 4. That is a FACT! Having a “point of view” that 2 plus 2 equals 5 is erroneous, delusional and irrational.

Having a point of view that an order of protection was for the duration of one year, when in reality it was for six months, is erroneous, delusional and irrational. Refusing to acknowledge the actual Buffalo City Court document that states a judges decree of SIX MONTHS, is erroneous, delusional and irrational. To keep insisting that such order of protection was for one year, is the sign of an irrational lie. For a friend to keep insisting that Joan is NOT  lying, is a sign that that friend is also irrational. For the friend to REFUSE to also acknowledge an actual document from a City of Buffalo Court, and signed by a City Court Judge shows us that that friend is indeed irrational. Further, for the friend to state that I, who was the recepient of court order, and who scanned the document and posted it to this blog, has mental problmes because I am presenting the cold hard facts, shows us that this friend is the one with mental problems. Because I have only presented a court document. If I, Ruth, have mental problems because I believe what is written on the court document, then the entire judicial system in the city of Buffalo is also flawed, the prosecuters, lawyers, clerks, warrant officers, bailiffs and judges all have mental problems. This is a clear sign of irrationality for ANYone, be it a personal friend of Joan Wheeler or internet supporters. If ANYone says that an actual court document is NOT the truth, but the irrational claims of a person who readily admits that she is having mental problems and has been in therapy for more 30 years, IS the truth (or her point of view) shows that they themselves are NOT rational.

The Truth WAS out there – it is now here – on this blog, on my sister Gert’s blog. No amount of irrational ranting by Joan Wheeler or her buddy Brian T. Maloney will change that. No amount of harassing bullying and name calling and judgments on my life, my career, my personal choices in food, entertainment, or recreational activities will ever change me, or my mission:


UPDATE MAY 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor!





Brian T. Maloney (LION), Reiki “healer” of Williamsville NY passes judgment on those he considers to be inferior and menial to him. August 12, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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So this arrogant, ignorant little man, who presents himself as a “healer” has passed judgment on me and my sisters and says that we have not educated ourselves.

In my last post Brian T. Maloney, (Lion) Reiki Healer (?) from Williamsville NY judges teachers and health care workers as having “menial jobs.”  I defend my career. I listed a couple of the continuing education classes that I have pursued in my life. But I left out quite a bit.

Let’s see, in fall of 1970 I attended shorthand and business classes at The Urban Center of Erie Community College, downtown Buffalo. In 1972, I attended chemistry and advanced algebra classes at Erie Community College. In 1972, I attended the Nurses Aide Course at the Buffalo General Hospital School of Nursing. In 1977 and  1978 I attended Egyptology classes at The Buffalo Science Museum. In 1980 I attended Belly Dance classes at Buffalo State College. Also in 1980 I attended a class designed to identify the natural flora of Western New York at The Tifft Farm Nature Preserve. In 1981, I attended a Psychic Phenomena Course at Buffalo State College. In 1981-82, I attended an Electricity Course at BOCES, Potter Rd. In 1982-83, I attended a Residential Wiring Course at BOCES, Potter Rd. In 1989, I attended computer classes at Seneca Vocational High School through the Buffalo Public Schools Adult Education Program. In 1999, I attended Union Steward Classes offered through my labor union, 1199 SEIU. In 1999 I attended New York State Certified Nurse’s Aide classes at Millard Fillmore School of Nursing. In 2008, I attended the Patient Care Assistant classes at Millard Fillmore School of Nursing. Not to menton the various inservices and classses offered throuh my employer on such subjects of updated patient care, EKG and Cardiac Telemetry (2001), Communication Skills, Caring for the Dying, Caring for the Elderly, various computer classes. Some of these were mandatory, some optional. Every year, since 1072, I have been trained more and more by my employer. Oh – I also took CPR classes not only at my employer – but at The American Red Cross. See, even though I was trained by my employer, it was not accredited and recognized by other institutions, therefore, when I took a second job through an agency, I had to be New York State Certified as a nurse’s aide and in CPR. 

I have also attended classes offered through The University of Buffalo, The Home Depot, The Williamsville Public School System, The Lancaster Public School System, The Maryvale Public School System, and The West Seneca Public School System on such varied subjects as Hypnosis, Home Repair, Interior Decorating, Stenciling, Sewing (both clothing and for the home), dance, drama, theatre, makeup application (both personal and stage). I am a well-rounded individual with many interests and passions. Anybody who thinks that I am inferior because I don’t hold a college degree is a sad, pitiful person indeed.

Brian T. Maloney, a Reiki “healer” a follower of Eastern Mystical religions has the nerve to pass judgment on me because I don’t have a college degree. Well, whoop-de-doo Brian. YOU may have a degree from Niagara U, but you certainly don’t have much material in that empty space between your ears. And that degree hasn’t helped you keep a job for more than a few years at a time. One failed job after another. HA!  While I’ve been at my job for 40 years, with a nice retirement package coming. Gert and Kathy are currently retired, after holding down very good careers, also with longevity and retirement packages.

You DO realize that this is all on the public internet – and you just put coffin nails in your so-called “career” as a healer. A “healer” does not pass judgment on others or refer to their careers as “menial.”

As well as all your insults to me and my sisters, as well as the evidence of YOUR cyber-stalking, cyber-harassing and cyber-bullying of me and my sisters. Not very nice things for a “healer” to be engaged in. But hey man – you started this. YOU took it upon yourself to take out a blog against us. We didn’t know you – never met you – YOU started this bud. Hope you like where your reputation is headed.

1. RuthAugust 14, 2012

In the early 1970′s, I also volunteered at West Seneca Developmental Center – an instituion that housed the profoundly and severly retarded and handicapped children.

I have no feelings of being a “menial” when taking care of those who cannot take care of themselves. There are individuals are born with such birth defects that they could be 30 years of chronological age, yet have the body of a two year old. And that body is twisted and deformed. And their brain may only be that of a six-month old infant.

that individual must be fed, toileted, given love. What is the matter with YOU Brian – that you, pass yourself off as a Reiki healer and say that MY job is menial?

Did you not change the diapers of your own children? Oh, how menial!

And mark me well Brian – these words are on the public internet – you want a career as a Reiki HEALER yet you slam a health care worker -YOUR words, as well as mine are on the internet – people are going to see wht you wrote – and make their own judgment of — YOU!

The difference between us Brian – is that I’m a true healer. YOU are nothing but a deluded person involved in a cult. Spouting “words of wisdom” of this religious person and that religious person doesn’t mean a damn thing until you get your hands into the WORK!

Like Fr. Nelson Baker and Mother Theresa – they didn’t preach, pat themselves on the back, nor pass judgments on those who WORKED with the poor and the sick. They just rolled up their sleeves and got in there and did what needed to be done.

You are disgusting Brian. I hope your children are proud of you. um speaking of which, I know that at least one of them checked out my LinkedIn profile. Which means all the interent exchanges about you are being viewed – by your family.

And after you dishonored the memory of your father – Reiki “healer” – you are disgusting little snot – 62 years old and acting like a 14 year old pig.

Brian T. Maloney, (Lion) Reiki Healer (?) from Williamsville NY judges teachers and health care workers as having “menial jobs.” August 12, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Brian T. Maloney, (Lion) Reiki Healer (?) from Williamsville NY judges teachers and health care workers as having “menial jobs.”

updated material at end of post.

In his latest blogpost from his “Attacking the Sippel Sisters” blog Brian T. Maloney shows us what a low-life he really is. He has the audacity to pass judgments on the professions of me and my sisters.

First, my sister in England had been gainfully employed for many years as a music teacher in the public school system of Liverpool and giving private lessons. To teach children the beauty of music is not a crime – it is a gift from god. As for teaching, your own sister Molly is a teacher – so if I were you Brian, I’d shut the hole in your face.

My sister Gert worked many years as a dental hygienist and dental assistant. Gee Brian, where would your teeth be without your dentist’s assitant or hygienist?

For myself, next month I will be celebrating my 40th anniversary of my employment at Buffalo General Hospital as a nurses’ aide.

I will defend my job because I think Brian’s latest attack on us Sippel Sisters is mostly aimed at me – why? Because his puppet master Joan told him to. Because he (and her) are laboring under the false assumption that all I do is empty bedpans. And they think that emptying bedpans is beneath someone’s dignity. Got news for you ignorant Brian. While working through medical school, the renowed heart surgeon who performed the world’s first heart transplant, Dr. Christaan Barnard was a hospital orderly – the male equivalant of a nurse’s aide. He said in his autobiography that yes, he emptied bedpans, and he was proud to do so, because it was part of patient care.

And I too, am proud to empty bedpans and other drainage tubes. Because it IS a part of patient care. And yes, I wipe the patient’s butt. And I am not ashamed of it. Because providing peri and other hygiene care is important. Dr. Stephen Hawking, the famed physicist has his butt wiped because he cannot. And the late actor Christopher Reeve had his butt wiped too. Any patient with who is paralyzed, whether because of  trauma, a stroke, or a disease such as Multiple Screlosis, or Lou Gehrig’s disease cannot do it for themself. Gee, even the baseball great Lou Gehrig had his butt wiped for him. And my favorite singer, Jon Anderson of Yes, when he was near death two years and laid in the Intestive Care Unit had his butt wiped.

One day Brian YOUR MOTHER will be laying in a hospital bed, and needing to go to the bathroom, and will be too frail to get up by herself. And a nurse’s aide, doing her “menial” job will go and help her.

But bedpans and butt wiping is not all I do, sad to bust your judgmental bubble there Brian. I take vital signs. And as the main person taking a patient’s vital signs, we nurse’s aides are usually the first ones to catch the signs that a patient has a fever, is short of breath, has tachycardia, or their blood pressure is rising. – Or bottoming out.  AND we monitor diabetic patients’ blood glucose levels. Too high, or too low, and they go into a diabetic coma. It is the nurse’s aide who during thier rounds catches these things.

AND nurses aides draw bloods! Gee Brian, next time you are admitted to a hospital and your doctor orders blood tests – it’s gonna be a nurse’s aide doing that “menial” job who is drawing it. Yeah, Brian, you might come into the hospital and get admitted for an tick bite, and develop a fever. And it will be a nurse’s aide that will see you sweating profusely, and without being told to, take your temperature, report it to the nurse, who then calls the doctor. Blood cultures and other tests are ordered. And the aide will draw the blood. And with the results come up with a diagnosis of perhaps Lyme disease.

Or gee Brian, you might go in for some surgery, and get up to go to the bathroom, and feel faint and fall on the floor and whack your head. It will be the nurse’s aide who will get your vital signs and most likely with the help of other staff member bodily pick you up and carry you back to bed. But usually, the nurse’s aide will help you out of bed, hold your arm to steady you so that you don’t fall and help you to the bathroom.

If you think by attacking MY job and calling it menial you are making me feel bad, think again buster. – I suggest you go look at my profile at LinkedIn to see more of what I do and have done in the hospital. I worked 5 years in the hospice unit. I have held the hands of the dying. I have comforted their families. I have sent patients off to open heart surgery and kidney transplant surgeries. I have worked in the Intensive Care Unit, and even in the Emergency Room. I’ve initiated CPR and used the ambu bag and as a team member during many codes – this means I have saved lives. And I have shed tears when a life couldn’t be saved.


As for “menial” – gee Brian, you list on your LinkedIn that you were the sole owner and operator of a frickin’ liquor store. And it was nothing but a hole in the wall – a little rinky-dink corner liquor store. So, as “sole owner and operator” you say that you did all the work entailed in that business. That means you took in inventory, stocked shelves, cashed out customers. Gee, how menial can you get? Lugging around boxes of booze. – yeah and New York Lottery tickets. – don’t try to deny it – I drove by your store – the business is up for sale. What’s wrong? Too menial for you that you couldn’t make a go of that business? oh – by the way – I love your “professional” mug shot. Too poor for a business suit? omyfg! That blue plaid shirt is so low-class. And try ironing it and mending it. ha ha ha ha! – oh did I say your booze store was rinky dink? Well it seems as though someone agrees with me: here is a review of Ken-Win Liquor from 2008: http://www.yelp.com/biz/kenwin-liquor-store-buffalo#hrid:kIhy20_abLZChjQGXfAZrQ – they called it ” a hole in the wall.” ha ha ha ha.

Now we are to believe that you are a Reiki healer. Sorry Brian, that career is going to go bust – just like all your other ones. Let’s see, insurance agent, real estate agent, RV seller, booze seller. What’s wrong? Can’t hold onto a job or a career? Now you’re a Reiki healer – yeah right – but you put down health care workers as “menial” – you’re a joke. You couldn’t heal your way out of a paper bag.

see Gert’s post here…

Oh gods…Brian Maloney, Joan Wheeler’s defender, is ‘back again’…



1. gertmcqueenAugust 12, 2012[Edit]

remote comment by Kathy

Quite apart from JW\s incessant and irrational hatred for all things adoption, and particularly her birth sisters, of whom I am one, I came to suspect, a long time ago, that she was/is a common or garden snob. She bemoans the fact that as an adoptee she was deprived of a shared childhood with her siblings – fair point, you might say. But given the circumstances of our childhood, about which Gert and Ruth have written, I wonder if JW is just a little bit relieved she was actually brought up in a stable environment, whereas we others, through circumstances well beyond anyone’s control, were in fact separated from our remaining parent and ourselves and brought up in different places – this, along with the early deaths of our mother and stepmother, being the ‘trauma’ that JW insists is still haunting our lives – and certainly not our losing her to adoption, because we were barely aware of her existence, let alone bonded with her, for that to cause any emotional stress on us at all.

Yes, trauma can linger and affect a person for many years, but it is how that person deals with the trauma that makes the person whole. How we sisters have dealt with our particular pain is well documented, as is JW’s, over-much in her case, in my humble opinion.

What is sad is that throughout her dealings with us, during the failed re-union, and beyond, and in her writings, JW shows no sign of giving her sisters credit for overcoming those obstacles and leading good, though flawed, lives. We are none of us perfect, but certainly, we deserve a little bit of credit for what we have achieved.

I can’t help but feel that, for all the unhappiness in JW’s relationship with her adoptive parents, they did pamper her, and they did give her solid financial and emotional support. Her writings are full of put-downs regarding our ‘humble’ beginnings. Easy said, when someone is brought up in the leafy suburbs of Williamsville, but we had trees and lawns on Smith Street too. And at various points in our lives, we 3 sisters lived on a city-farm in Cheektowaga- how cool is that?

As to how our individual lives have taken shape, well, I think, we’ve done pretty much all right.

It just seems to me that if JW and her cronies could stop for a moment to consider that a bit of acknowledgement of OUR achievements,menial or not, would go a long way to healing the pain of this situation, which I feel is enhanced and prolonged by JW simply because she feeds on it.

To any and all who wish to look down their pretty little noses at me and my sisters, and our life choices, I say:

Living for approval is just another way of dying.

Long live life.

2. gertmcqueenAugust 12, 2012

well said Kathy

3. RuthAugust 12, 2012

oh absolutely Kathy!
What Brian doesn’ know, because Joan won’t tell hm – is that we three sisters HAVE educated ourselves – even tho we don’t have college degrees.

We are all self-taught.
Gert was married at age 18 and sadly, divorced young too. But with two toddlers – 3 and 4 – she worked, went to night school Went to Dental School.

How does one become a music teacher? Well obviously, you gotta know music and you instrument. Um, then you need to go to school to train as a teacher!

For myself, at age 17, I was accepted in the Bell Howell University in Ohio or a degree in electrical engineering – I wanted to work for NASA – yep – as a rocket scientist. Then my dad married his third wife, and he told me he could no longer afford my college.

JOAN’S parents sent her to Mercyhurst. My dad left me high and dry. I took my job at the hospital and attended classes at Erie Community College City Campus in chemistry and advanced algebra. If my dad wasn’t going to send me to college – then I would do it myself. But then I hooked up with my first husband. and well, life got in the way.

But that never stopped me from LEARNING AND EDUCATING MYSELF. Just because I’m a little old nurse’s aide, don’t mean shit. I ain’t stupid. In 2003, my present husband John was having some chest pains, I finally got him in to his heart doctor who then ordered an angio – I had told Dr. G. my suspicions. I was in the waiting room and Dr. G. came out and said “You were right. And he needs open heart surgery.”

This doctor is not just a “doctor” he has become a personal friend of John and me. And another renowned cardiac doctor, STILL continues to speak to me professionally and personally when he sees me – even though I haven’t worked in the cardiac department since 1990!

I have more knowledge about nursing than some of the registered nurses! I could easily pass the New York State Board tests right now to become a registered nurse – I choose not to. – and I have my reasons.

I am also interested in the law and political science. In 1999, I attended classes to obtain my New York State Certification as a nurses aide at Millard Fillmore School of Nursing – and was tested for what career I would be best suited for – what came up first was LAWYER.Second was NURSING HOME ADMINISTRATOR.

In1999, I also attended Union Steward classes through my labor union.I eventually declined the position of union steward, but am still proactive in the union and am frequently consulted by my co-workers for advice and interpretation of our contract.

In 2008 I attended classes again at Mllard Fillmore School of Nursing for my current position of Patient Care Associate – nurses aides are now required to do more duties – our job is growing.

In the meantime, I continue my learning on my own – about the law, world history and cultures. – by the way – Did you know Kathy speaks several languages? Of course not Brian – you only know the snobbish lies that Joan puts out there and tells you about us.

So what is this shit that only Joan is interested in “educating herself?” That’s just more lies from that snotty snobbish brat. But even if she lied to you – who the hell are YOU to look down your friggin suburban nose at me and my sisters? YOUR father sent you to Niagara U. And YOU can’t hold down a job for more than a few years? Why don’t you pay attention to your own miserable looking resume and leave mine alone.

gertmcqueenAugust 12, 2012

Gert here… NO ONE paid for my education…well…I was on welfare for 3 years while I went to dental assistanting school, but, unlike others, I got a job and stayed off the welfare rolls for ever!…but after that I paid all the taxes that everyone else does and I did go to college part time after working all day, and I PAID FOR EVERY PENNY OF IT. No grants no nothing. I could NOT PAY for an education for my children and they on their own GOT AN EDUCATION. Joan got her’s paid for my the adoptive parents she condemns and then what’s to paint her birth family as ignorant! Sorry little girl I have FORGOTTEN more than you know.

This bullshit is nothing but a smoke screen of joan and brian, they think they can make us into the imagine they have of us. But, the truth is a very different animal. Joan has no idea what the three siblings have done, accomplished and are doing because we haven’t had any contact with this stupid ass for decades. Only because she wrote a book of lies is why we are in her face and she can’t stand that.

Brian you really must be into some kind of S and M with Joan for any other MAN would have never started this and would certainly have gotten out of this a long long time ago…so as long as you insist so shall we.

breaking news and a warning to authorites about Joan Wheeler, who I believe is a menace to society August 1, 2012

Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
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8:00pm, EST August 1, 2012,

CNN reports that on June 7, 2012, Batman Movie massacre killer James Holmes, failed an oral test and then went out and bought a gun, and talked to his psychiatrist. Something he said to her, alerted her and she contacted colleagues on the behavioral threat assessment team that he was a threat.

NO ONE contacted the Aurora police department that he could be a threat.

I have been telling authorities for YEARS that Joan M. Wheeler of Tonawanda, NY is a potential threat. She has harassed me for years. She has stalking me, called my employer almost daily for six months to get me fired over a typing mistake that I had nothing to do with. Despite my employer telling her this, she continued phoning them. She wrote letters to the mayor of Buffalo, a NYS senator and others telling them I have a criminal record, when I do not. I placed harassment charges against her in 1995, but a Buffalo City Court judge Margaret Anderson dismissed the case, saying that “sisters should get along.” Despite seeing black and white evidence – copies of the letters that Joan sent to these people – Joan had the arrogance to make photocopies and sent them to me.

In December 1994, she called child abuse on herself, giving MY name in a rotten attempt to break me and my fiance up. A few months later, I spoke with an assistant district attorney of Erie County and she told me that I was to stay away from Joan. I assured that I was, and asked her if she would give the same directive to Joan. She told me she would. This was just after Judge Anderson dismissed my harassment charges in 1995.

Things were very quiet until 1998, when out of the blue, I recieved an envelope handwritten by Joan, addressed to me and my fiance John, but inside was a letter addressed to my oldest sister Gert about an incident that occured in South Carolina. A man who USED to know Gert, bumped into Joan’s ex-husband and trash talked Gert. So what did that have to do with Ruth? And why was Joan writing to Ruth AFTER the district attorney told the both of us to leave each other alone?

A year later, in 1999, I received another letter from Joan, informing me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant. The return address on the envelope was NOT Joan’s address – a friend of mine drove me there – it was the address of a former friend of Joan’s – Bonnie Warren – who was in the middle of a fight with Joan. Bonnie told me that in the year 1997, Joan Wheeler had made a death threat against me – she was asking around for a hitman to take me out.

thank you very much Margaret Anderson for dismissing charges against this fruitcake. But Family Court Judge Margaret Scuzer granted me a one year order of protection against Joan. This was May 1999. In the same month, Bonnie institued harassment  charges against Joan for using her address without her permission to send harassing letters to me.

In the same month, May 1999, a third court case of harassment was instituted against Joan Wheeler by the New York state Town of Eden police department because Joan was harassing our cousin Gail Budziszewski. Joan had telephoned her in the past and written letters. Gail went to the police and they called Joan to tell her not to contact Gail. Gail got another letter and took it straight to the police. they called Joan in front of Gail and asked her if she had sent Gail the letter – Joan answered “yes.” the police asked “after we told you NOT to contact her?” And Joan, in her arrogance said “yes.”

ALSO in 1998 or 1999 – Joan went to have her windshield fixed and the mechanic turned out to be my cousin Ray, Gail’s nephew. Ray was nice enought to invite Joan home for dinner. When Gail found out, she told her nephew to stay away from Joan because she was dangerous. Ray began to distance himself from Joan, and Joan sent me a letter saying that she knew that me, Gail, Ray and my friend Francine were “plotting” against her. Despite the fact that I knew nothing about this and Francine and Ray had never met each other.

Joan began calling Ray’s job to get him in trouble with his boss – three years after she was calling my job to get me in trouble. Again, thank you very much Judge Margaret Anderson.

Joan writes in her book of how she had physically assaulted her adoptive mother and her own children, chronicled in her book of how she routinely took up her own children’s photographs, toys, clothes, school artwork and burned them in the middle of the living room IN FRONT OF HER OWN CHILDREN! She admits in her book Forbidden Family that she drank, drove drunk, went into a deep depression and wouldn’t cook dinner for her kids, wouldn’t even wash her own hair.

In 2010, I sent a letter to Buffalo area therapist Nichole Urdang after this ditz wrote a rave review of Joan’s book for amazon.com saying the book was good. I was horrified. I told Ms. Urdang that she was a poor therapist if she didn’t see that book for what it really was – a chronicle of a woman losing her drunken sotten mind.

Joan’s longtime good friend Rene Hoksbergen, a retired college professor from Utrecht University in Utrecht, The Netherlands, was manipulated and lied to by Joan in 1993 in an attempt to extort money from my sister who lives in England. Because of Joan’s lies, Hoksbergen wrote a letter to my sister in England, sticking his nose into our family business.

Joan had stolen hundreds of dollars from me in 1990 and was now targeting another person. Joan used Hoksbergen, giving him a manuscript of her book to read, which he wrote a forward for (written in 2006). But the final version, published in 2009, contained key lies about him – and me!

Via this blog, I have let Hoksbergen know that I hold him responsible for Joan’s slanderous book, which contains lies – lies like that I have a criminal record. Legitimate complaints were sent to the publisher of Joan’s book, Trafford Publications. Actual court documents and even a couple of the letters that Joan wrote to elected officials in 1994-95 telling them lies about me were sent to Trafford. Trafford’s legal department pored over the evidence and the book, and in May 2011, they pulled the book from publication because Joan violated her contract with them.

In March of 2011, Joan went on the Huffington website to tell more lies about me and my two older sisters – a complaint was sent to Huffington and Joan was kicked off the site.

In November 2011, the father of one of her friends died. Coincidentally, the father was the long-time attorney and friend of my father, a fact that Joan nor her friend Brian T. Maloney figured out. But after seeing the online obituary and MY sympathy message, Joan figuredout that that attorney, Arthur J. Maloney, was the attorney who handled my father’s adoption of his step-daugher in 1977. Joan who has gone on record to say that she is 100% against adoption and has said online that she hates EVERYONE who supports, promotes and actually carries out adoption. She did not tell Brian that she knew of his father’s connection to my family. Instead, she started manipulating him into cyberstalking and cyberbullying us.  It took us several months of detective work to find out who our attacker was – and once we did, and we let him (and the world) of that connection – (three weeks ago) – he has gone silent.

But Joan has done this manipulation before. In February 2010, she complained to members of the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum about this blog. “If enough of you complain to wordpress, we can shut those fuckheads down.” This blog recieved many obscene comments.

In the fall of 2010, a friend of Joan’s, Russell Thomas came to this blog and called me a bitch. Not once, but two, then three times. I emailed him and told him to stop.

In January of 2011, when my father died, Joan was told not to come to the funeral home when the family was present. but she showed up with Russell Thomas, who was seen by a reliable eyewitness to writing a long message in the guest book in the funeral parlor. She read it and was horrified. She made several phone calls to contact my sister in England, who called me. In the meantime, Gert and I saw it – it was hate message to my father it said: “May he rot in hell from the Herr brothers – Charles, Matthew, Henry, Michael and Richard.”

Richard, was lives in Florida, was actually on the phone around 5pm, just an hour after this message was written. He was in Florida, on the phone with my sister in England. the others – Charles, Matthew, Henry and Michael – ARE DEAD!

With all this bullshit, harassment of myself and other family members, arrogant disregard of directives from authorities (the district attorney and Town of Eden police), the stalking, the calling of my job and Ray’s job to get his fired over BULLSHIT that had nothing to do with our job performances, the total disregard for other people, the lying in the book, the lying on the internet, the lying in person about me and others, the forging or four dead men’s names and one guy who was hundreds of miles away – —  and the death threat made against me in 1997 —–


if anything happens to me or my husband, or our property – I hereby notify anyone that she should be the first one to be questioned.










and thanks a lot wordpress for the linking of some of my text to your stupid commercials. this is a serious post about serious issues, and you stick in commercials. shame on you.

Final Notice to Brian T. Maloney (LION) of Williamsville, puppet of Joan Wheeler July 27, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Final Notice to Brian T. Maloney (LION) of Williamsville, puppet of Joan Wheeler

Brian, the following blog posts are all about you. Until you remove that abusive blog you have against us and offer a public apology to us for sticking your nose where it don’t belong – in MY family’s business and trashing my father after he was dead – these blog posts will remain in existence for all the world to see.

What you need to do is delete ALL posts from your blog – and leave ONE post up recanting all the abuse you heaped on me and Gert – particularly where you called us dogs. And don’t try to squirm your way out of it by saying you were quoting an old adage – “if you lay down with dogs, expect to catch fleas.” – This was directed to a person who supports our blogs and left a comment on your blog. So, no, you didn’t come right out and SAY Gert and me were dogs – but by telling Paula that she was associating with us, she would catch fleas – in essence you WERE calling us dogs. And that doubles your mistake – you not only called women you never met – dogs – but then tried to twist your words and tried to LIE your way out of it. – That doesn’t go very well with your Reiki healing.

Also, you need to change the name of your blog from “Defending Joan Wheeler” to “No longer defending Joan Wheeler.” And in that one post you keep up on your blog you tell WHY you no longer are defending her – because once she found out in November 2011 just who your father was and how your father was the lawyer who handled my father’s adoption of his stepdaughter, Joan kept that from you and whined at you and got you to do her dirty work. She played you for a fool – as a revenge at that dirty lawyer who handled my stepsister’s adoption.

Admit your mistake Brian. But I know you won’t. Because it takes a big man, a big person to admit when they’re wrong. And you are no man. You are a wimp, a coward and a creep.

So here are some blog posts about Brian T. Maloney. and before anybody takes me to task for writing so much about this creep – remember – I knew his father, his father was a long time attorney and friend of my father and stepmother. In representing my family, I left a condolence message on an online memorial guest book when Brian’s father, Arthur J. Maloney died on November 16, 2011. I never met Brian. I don’t know him. But one month after his father died, Brian started cyber stalking and cyber-harassing and cyber-bullying me and Gert. He should have minded his own business. He brought this on himself.

Hey Champ!! (Brian T. Maloney of Williamsville, NY) Where’s your response to our rebuttals, to your defense of Joan Wheeler, on the Buffalo News web site?

How Brian T. Maloney of Williamsville, NY trashed my LATE father on the internet – what he said about a dead man that he never met

Champ, the so called defender of Joan Wheeler, is slacking on the job!! …

Brian Maloney and Joan Wheeler think they are in the right…okay they can have their delusion

I’m putting the brat Brian to bed and ignoring his temper tantrums – because that’s how you deal with brats – give them NO more attention.

Charlatans can be found everywhere and in every field of healing Brian isn’t the only one.

Brian T. Maloney has been exposed in a new comment that I placed on that Buffalo News article by Joan Wheeler (with a screenshot of his blog – proving how he abused and bullied us)

Brian T. Maloney is concerned for my health. aw gee. (my rebuttal after Brian insinuates that I am on psych meds – which I am not, never have been and don’t need to. Another example of his abuse of me.

Brian T. Maloney can’t do any Reiki healing on anyone – because he’s a damaged individual in need of healing himself. – with graphics from Linkedin where Joan and Brian recomended each other on November 11, 2011.

rampaging on facebook – funny? – not so funny when you find out you’ve been trashed by the son of someone you honored – Brian T. Maloney is no healer – he’s a menace! 

Fun and games on Facebook – re: The Nameless One (aka Joan Wheeler) and Brian “Chimp” Maloney (full of baloney) 

What did Joan Wheeler know of the connection of Brian T. Maloney’s father to my father, when did she know it, and I expose another lie in her libelous book 

Brian T. Maloney abuses someone who HONORED his father, Arthur J. Maloney – because Joan Wheeler told him to. (with screenshot of Arthur’s obit and my name from the guest book)

the dangers of writing shit about someone if you don’t know them – a lesson to be learned by Brian T. Maloney 

Ruth admits to a big oopsey! 

Guest post from Gert’s daughter Karen with update from Gert – Karen lets Brian have it for calling her mom and aunt dogs.

Chimp aka Brian T. Maloney continues to show the world what a disgusting moron he is – with graphics proving that he listened to lying gossip from Joan about someone I didn’t get along with back in the late 1970’s. – And she sent me a get well card in 1985. I post the card in this post.

Well Champ/Brian, on his HOW ELOQUENT! post has acknowledged SOME of the comments placed on that post/blog!

Just in case Brian Champ Thomas Maloney tries to deny who he is. 

We know who Champ is!! His name is Brian Maloney and he has left his mark; I found him and now I expose him too.

Joan Wheeler is a dangerous nut – she has had a long history of harassing people. July 21, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Uncategorized.
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this is a different sort of post – during a facebook conversation with Gert and me and a couple of our cousins, the question was asked what did Joan Wheeler do to piss off the members of the family of our mom’s sister.

Part 1 She started with Gail because Gail had grown up with Helen Connors’ daughters – Nancy, Fran and Annie – Helen was the childhood friend of Aunt Catherine and the brother of Edward Wheeler.    Joan remembered the Crystal Beach incident when she and Gail were 10 years and they bumped into each other – Gertrude Anetrino – another of Edward Wheeler’s sisters – lived on Sumner St – right around the corner from Bailey and Walden – right where Scheu Park is – where grandpa Jacob Herr and the family lived. – and not far from where I live now.
They used to have nieghborhood days at Crystal Beach – you pre-bought some ride and meal tickets at neighborhood stores for a savings. So in 1966, Gertrude and Helen and all their kids went for Bailey and Walden Day and coincidentally Aunt Catherine went with Ida, Norman and Gail. I don’t know who the adults Aunt Catherine went with, as she didn’t drive. Aunt Catherine and Gail bumped into Dorothy Wheeler and Joan – Gail saw Joan and was confused because she thought it was me, but then it wasn’t. Catherine told her later never to tell me or anyone she saw that girl. Gail then saw Joan’s Holy Communion picture and remembered the kid at Crystal Beach. I don’t know when in Gail’s life she became aware that we Sippels had another sister, but in 1974 when we found her, she told me didn’t like having to lie to me. – this is the one of the “lies” of adoption that Joan is always bitching about – but then she twists things around and in the book BLAMES Gail for not telling her about herself – like – wtf – Gail was a 10 year old kid and didn’t know anything!

Part 2. During the 1970’s me, Joan and Gail would go out discoing and bar-hopping. but Gail never really liked Joan. She sensed from the get-go that Joan was wierd. At her wedding shower (1980), we were having dinner and Nancy and Fran started talking about Joan, and Helen kicked one of them under the table “don’t talk about people behind their back.” I don’t remember which one but they said, “mom, we’re talking about Joan.” – because Nancy, Fran, and Annie grew up with Joan – they knew how wierd she was – apparently she had been wierd all her life. The early 80’s – Gail was busy with her own life as a newlywed and trying to get pregnant. At the same time I was trying to get pregnant. And in 1980, I went back to working the night shift. Neither Gail nor me had much time to spend on Joan. And of course, then we had the troubles with Karen. – Joan felt that Gail was “avoiding her” because the Wheeler cousins were badmouthing her. – but a lot of it was due to what she did to you Gert in 1982. Aunt Catherine was very upset over the whole thing. By the time we had the Herr family reunion at Uncle Mikes house in 1985, EVERYBODY was starting to see Joan for the nut she was and knew what she did to you Gert and were starting to distance themselves from her.

Part 3 – In 1993, Joan’s daughter got sick and this was after Joan stole that money from me and she knew she couldn’t ask me for any family medical history on thyroid problems, so she photocopied a bunch of medical stuff about Cathy and mailed them to Gail. Gail was pissed at her for what she did to me and sent them back to her. Joan waited until after 10 at night and called her on the phone and was screaming at Gail on the answering machine. Kevin wanted to get up and bitch her out, but Gail told him to just ignore her. From time to time, Joan would mail shit to Gail but Gail would always just mark the envelope “return to sender.” which was pissing Joan off even more. By 1994 when Joan ramped up her harassment to me, I sort of withdrew from everybody – and Gail purposely did not call me – because she wanted to prove to everyone that it was not Ruth doing all the trouble at one point Gail called our father up and told him “its not Ruth – it’s Joan.” Joan was now living back with her mother – with no job, kids either in school or day camp (did she ever parent them?) and she had all sorts of time to write letters to me and Gail. I couldn’t get the dam Buffalo Police to listen to me. But in the town of Eden – it was a different story. I don’t remember when – it had to be late 1998 when Joan sent her another letter – and Gail finally went to the police and they sent Joan a letter to tell her to stop contacting Gail – and it was at this time, Gail was battling cancer. When she got the last letter in 1999, she took it right to the police and they called Joan and said “did you send this letter to Mrs. B.? and Joan said yes. “after we told not to contact her?” she said yes. it was the Eden police who started the harassment charge against Joan. – I didn’t know any of this until John and I got married. I didn’t even know Gail and Kevin got divorced. and I am STILL upset that during the last years of her life, Gail purposely did not call me – to protect me – to prove that it wasnt me doing the shit.

Part 4 I can’t remember the exact year – but Joan had a crack in her windshield – and she went to get it fixed and the mechanic was Ray III – Bugsy’s son.  Somehow the two got to talking and found out they were cousins. Ray was nice enough to invite Joan home for dinner. When Gail found out – she told him to leave her alone because she was dangerous. I don’t know what she told him. He started distancing himself from her, and she kept trying to call him. This had to be the late 90’s during the height of her letter writing to lots of people. (my job, the mayor, even Jessica, the 17 year old daughter of Nancy -and Jessica had nothing to do with the family drama! – she was bitching out Jessica and Nancy got her on the phone and told Joan the police would be called if she bothered her daughter again). — I don’t have the letter anymore – but I did get one letter that accused me, my friend Francine, Gail and Ray of “plotting against her.” – I called Francine up and she came over for lunch and then I read the letter to her. she started choking on her sandwich and then said “but but, I never met your cousin Ray.” – Joan in retaliation for this “plot” called Ray’s job to say he fucked up the windshield – trying to get him in trouble on his job. — like she was doing to me at my job.

Part 5 – Joan also managed to get Uncle Mattie’s daughter (I can’t remember her name) and Aunt Bertha’s kids Dennis and  Becky mad at her as well. – Because she has such a lovely way to relate to people.

and with all this shit going on – for more than 25 years and the courts and the district attorney and the police – if Joan goes off the deep end like that nut in colorado – I will hold the authorities responsible – because they have had plenty of notice about this sick bitch.

And that’s also why I sent that letter to Buffalo area therapist Nicole Urdang, who supposedly read Joan’s book and left a book review on amazon.com saying it was a good book. This was a few months after Congresswoman Gabby Giffords was shot. And I told Urdang that she didn’t see the contradictions that Joan made in the book – and that Urdang was a poor therapist because she didn’t recognize that the book is not about adoption reform but a chronicle of a woman losing her sanity. and I told Urdang that she is responsible for egging Joan on. As well as Rene Hoksbergen, Lori Corangelo, Russell Thomas, Susan Thompson Underdahl and recently Brian T. Maloney.

I forgot to mention a name on the list of people that I will hold responsible if Joan Wheeler goes off the deep end.- Buffalo City Court Judge Margaret Anderson.

In 1995 I took Joan to court for harassment because of:
Sometime in 1994 Joan’s hospital bill got mixed up with another patient. Joan ASSUMED I did it and called my job. They investigated and found me innocent. They told Joan this. I work as a nurse’s aide, since 1972. Joan puts in her book that I work as a billing clerk to lend credence to this bullshit. The computers on the nursing station are not connected to the billing computers. The mistake was traced to a typo made at 4pm. I worked at that time 11pm to 7am. Not to mention the fact that they can trace everything you do on the computer. But Joan KNEW I did, even though she was told I didn’t. So she set out to change the facts. To change history. She called my job repeatedly for six months trying to get me fired. This is a hospital for god’s sake and we have better things to do than put with a lunatic! Like taking care of sick people and saving lives!
In December 1994, Joan called child abuse on herself, posing as me, She then wrote to Albany NY and told the Child Abuse authorities that I had been placed on probation due to annoyance phone calls. No, it was a six-month order of protection. In February 1995, I received a packet in the mail – from Joan – it contained photocopies of letters she had been writing to: Erie County District Attorney Kevin Dillon, Erie County Commissioner of Social Services Deborah Merrifield,  NYS Senator Anthony Nanula, Buffalo Mayor Anthony Masiello, and the Patient Finacial Services Director of my employer. All these letter contained false accusations of me, and telling these elected officials and people at my job that I can’t pregnant, I hate her because she has kids, I hate her because she killed my mom. I’m not married but I’m living a man who’s not the same race as me. I have an arrest record, I am a criminal. AND she wrote letters to my fiance telling him to break up with me. She contacted my future mother in law, trying to tell her I was evil.
So I took all those letters, including the ones to my fiance and his mother and filed harassment charges on her. At one point while I was standing in front of Judge Margaret Anderson, she was looking at the letters and picked one up, turned to the person standing to her right, and said “she wrote to Kevin?” (the district attorney Kevin Dillon). And she was laughing. A judge was laughing at the clear stalking and harassing letters that Joan had written about me. She then dismissed my harassment charges saying: “sisters should get along.”

Oh thank you very much Judge Margaret Anderson – you have clear evidence of someone stalking me, harassing me, writing letters of character assassination, and you dismissed it all. YOU enabled Joan Wheeler to continue to harass me up to the present.

YOU put it in Joan’s sick head that she could harass me and get away with it.

Through the years, when I have told the story of this and showed those letters to people, they were shocked that a city court judge saw all the clear evidence and dismissed it. And we all have one name for that judge and it ain’t very pretty!

 1. Ruth

AND in November 2009, when I called Joan on the phone to tell her that our Aunt Doris died, she started screaming at me – hurling obscenities at me – I got in my car and went to my cousin Nancy’s house and she calmed down – all I did was make a legitmate phone call, – that even after all the harasment that Joan did to me, that I, her sister, would take the time to tell Joan that the woman she was originally named for (Doris) had passed. What did I get in return? I got hit with a barrage of verbal abuse!
After I left Nancy’s house, I went to my dad’s – where he got a screaming phone call from Joan. He told me then that Joan is mentally ill. By the time I got home – there was a message on my answering machine – from the Town of Tonawanda police saying that Ruth Sippel Pace and my sisters Gert and Kathy were to stop calling Joan. yeah! Joan fucking called the cops on me and named two other people that had nothing to do with it!
When I told Gert, Gert called tonawanda police (long distance) and they told Gert “don’t worry, we know all about her.”
And in January 2011, in a facebook private message conversation I had with Joan’s ex husband, he told me that he has had to call the police LONG DISTANCE (he lived at the time in S. Carolina) to break up fights between Joan and her daughter. Who is being forced at the age of 24 to work two jobs to support herself and her mom. But in a myspace email to me the day after I called Joan about Aunt Doris, my niece is whining “don’t I have a right to a life of my own?” – yet, 3 years later, she’s still stuck with her mother – it reminds me of an old horror movie – sort of like “whatever happened to baby jane?” – but not quite. I fear that not only is Joan mentally ill, but if at the age of 24, you haven’t gotten away from your sick mother, you must be sick yourself. I feel sorry for mentally ill people, but to a point. – especially when you’ve been their target for harassment for years and can’t get it to stop!

2. gertmcqueenJuly 22, 2012

Gert here…

After what joan did to me, 1980-82, I left Buffalo and was not aware of many things until 1992 when I started talking again with Ruth. It was difficult to follow because I had lost contact with relatives who were children or not even born when I left and the stories, about Joan’s behavior has always been sick and wierd.

in 1998 I too received a letter from Joan, that she sent to Ruth, to which I answered and told her why is she still bothering me when I told her to get lost in 1982 and then again in 1992?

When Ruth told me about how Joan was harassing Gail I couldn’t believe it…Joan never stops…

And just before she published that lying book she was setting the ground work, on the internet, AGAINST US….and I have the evidence dating back to 2008!

And since the book was published we siblings have gone after Joan’s lying and she has enlisted all kinds of people to ‘get us’ and they have failed because TRUTH WINS OUT. We are NOT DONE with telling all the truths that we know about this very dangerous person.

In a way I feel sorry for the poor sucker Brian, who believes Joan and went out of his way to ATTACK WOMEN he doesn’t know! He has been silent since we exposed the evidence of Joan’s email 2009 attacks on Kathy…and there is MORE evidence…so be aware…if you hang out with Joan Wheeler you will get burnt.

Joan Wheeler is a very dangerous person…we have been telling the world for a long long time….listen up and get away from her.

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