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Reality is Truth. But all Joan Wheeler knows is self-delusions, fantasies, and lies July 15, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Ruth Pace

I was listening to an old motivational tape of mine and stumbled upon the following. It is from a tape that I had labeled “Living Without Limits.” I didn’t write down the speaker’s name, but I think it  might be Dr. Wayne Dyer. I transcribed the part of the lecture that I thought is very pertinent to this problematic person Joan Wheeler, who doesn’t seem to differentiate between reality/truth and fantasy/lies. Here is the transciption of the lecture:

And now for the first component of living without limits which could very well be described as the foundation for survival itself, and that is, REALITY.

Now what exactly do I mean by reality? I don’t want to be misunderstood here. Well my definition of reality is very simple and straightforward. Reality isn’t the way you wish things to be or the way they appear to be but the way they actually are.

Now by the way you wish things to be, I’m referring to the constant struggle that takes place within each of us between the real and the ideal. Between reality and what we would like reality to be. And it’s absolutely imperative that you learn to differentiate between the two.

Reality is Truth. And unfortunately the real problem is that most people do not love Truth. But instead they try to make true that which they love. They have it backwards.

As Robert De Ropp says in his fascinating book “The Master Game,” “Man inhabits a world of delusions. And because of these delusions, makes dangers for himself and others.”

Reminds me of Ashleigh Brilliant, the great humorist, some of you may be familiar with, who once remarked, “I have abandoned my search for truth and am now looking for a good fantasy.”    

Seriously, I totally agree with DeRopp, I think self-delusion is probably the chief cause of most unhappiness in the world today.

In my comment to my last post, I refer to Joan’s cyberbullying page, where she has posted lies about me and my sisters. Some of them twisting of the facts. For example she has posted on that site, that I got her phone number from my father – yes I did. On November 3, 2009 – because my then 85 year old father was tired and I calledJoan AS A FAVOR to tell her that a family member died. On the phone Joan subjected me to a barrage of yelling obscentities that even her daughter (who in an email exchange via myspace the next day, came running down the stairs to see what her mother was screaming about).

So here is some info: “Doris Ohl was born June 05, 1919 in Buffalo, Erie, NY, and died October 31, 2009 in Silver Creek, NY. She married (1) Michael W. Herr in Buffalo, Erie, NY, son of Jacob Grant Herr and Gertrude H. Stoll. She married (2) Lou LoManto.”

Doris and Michael were Joan’s original godparents, and Joan Wheeler’s original name was Doris Michol Sippel. (None of this information is private, Joan plasters this all over the internet, and the info on Doris was taken from an online internet family tree. 

Addendum: July 16, 3:00am, ok, I was doing research – do you know that hotmail saves EVERY email you send? So I found the original email from my Uncle. —

From:   To:   Subject: RE: Aunt Doris
Date: Tue, 3 Nov 2009 08:39:56 +0000

Hi Uncle Rich
thank you forwarding this to me. Can you send me Wayne’s email so I can send him my condolences?
Everything is going fine. I had a small vacation, which I used for housework. lol. all the stuff you never seem to get to, like getting behind furniture and degreasing cabinets. Also had to clean out the utility room. got a new washing machine, the old one went kaput. I found some missing socks amidst the dust bunnys back there. lol.

Date: Sun, 1 Nov 2009 08:33:33 -0500
To:  Subject: Fw: Aunt Doris

Received this from Wayne about his Mother (Uncle Mikes first Wife.)
Dad, Opa and Uncle Rich
—–Forwarded Message—–
From: Wayne D Herr
Sent: Nov 1, 2009 7:57 AM
To: silverdick1 .. judy , Richard Herr

We spent a very hard week this week, but last night @ 9:45pm  Mom pasted after a very hard week for her. I believe she is happy now, she was ready. Eileen and I were with her so she did not have to die alone. This past sunday she told me she was going to see Edmund and she might even talk to Michael. Thank you for your prayers.



Joan’s self-delusions and the facts are that Joan cannot accept the REALITY and the TRUTH that her “mean and nasty” sister Ruth couldn’t possibly call her on the phone for the simple reason of doing her father (and Joan) a FAVOR. Further, she cannot STAND for the TRUTH of the phone call to be made public. Instead, Joan twists the FACTS of the event of November 3, 2009 and reports it on the internet that I called her as an act of harassment.

The phone call was made by ME, around 5pm. Later that evening, around 10pm, I emailed my niece, Joan’s daughter via myspace. We were myspace buddies and facebook buddies at the time. Here is the transcription of the email exchange between her and me, and the graphics are the actual screen shots of that exchange that I captured on July 14, 2011.  I also have included a screen shot of Joan’s blog (also captured on July 14, 2011, that shows Joan’s version of the phone call. Notice she says really nothing about the phone call. Because deep down, she knows the TRUTH about that phone call – that I obtained the phone number from a tired 85 year old man, as  A FAVOR TO BOTH HIM AND JOAN to let Joan know that her original godmother and namesake had died. AND Joan fails to tell everyone HER subsequent actions! After screaming obscenities at me, subjecting me to verbal emotional abuse, she then called my father and SCREAMED AT HIM – AN 85 YEAR OLD MAN, WHO WAS NOT FEELING WELL THAT DAY! That is called ELDER ABUSE! And of course, Joan doesn’t tell what happened when SHE made an abusive phone call to an elderly man – that the call was terminated when the tired elderly man HUNG UP ON HER!

So why isn’t the COMPLETE TRUTH about that phone call of November 3, 2009 published on Joan’s blog? Because she doesn’t want to tell the truth – she always presents HER twisted version of the truth – she wants people to think that I, Ruth Pace am a bitch, and all I do is harass her by getting her phone number from relatives and call her up and bother her. But Joan can whine on a forum that when another relative died, she wasn’t notified – well, because when she was notified of a relative’s passing, she went all f’ing crazy! Who does Joan thinks she is? That she can treat people like dirt and they have to accept it? This is why Joan is an outsider – she has no family – either birth or adoptive – BECAUSE SHE HAS ALWAYS TREATED US LIKE DIRT.

So here is the transcript of the myspace email:

  Nov 3, 2009 RE: something happened today
Ladymoondancer ~ saysTo: *~*~They call me Cat, Kit… (@myspacecom)  I got an email, (from a relative)that my Uncle Mike’s first wife Doris died on Saturday, Oct. 31. Uncle Mike and Aunt Doris were your mom’s original godparents and she was named for them (Doris Michol).
so I thought she should know about it. I called the old number but it was disconnected so I called my father and he gave me your mom’s number. So I called her. She asked how I got the number. I told her. She said “Big mistake.” then she said she didn’t want any contact from me. Fair enough I thought. She was calm at this point, but then she said tersely, “Thank you for telling me about Aunt Doris, but I do not want to hear from you. My mother is dying.” (I have heard this, and I felt bad, I thought, shit, this is bad getting bad news now and all.
But then you mom said, “She (her mom) does not want to hear from you.” (I was not calling for her). Then your mom started screaming about her sisters. She said that I threw her out of the family.
Cathy, I just sat there staring at my computer screen. I was in shock. She was screaming so hard I could not understand what she was saying. I did hear “you are not my sister.” She was ranting and raving. I started crying. I didn’t know what to do. All I did was call her to tell her that her godmother had died. I got angry. I did not call to make trouble. I swear to you Cathy. I did not. I swear on the soul of my unborn son that I lost in 1985. I did not call to make trouble, but dammit, why should I be subjected to her verbal abuse? So I said “You know what? You’re right. You’re not my sister. You don’t know how to behave like a sister. so fuck you.”  and then I hung up.
Cathy, I was so upset. I wanted to go to my dad’s house. I left my house with my washing machine running. I only grabbed a sweater and my keys. I was still in my slippers. I was crying so hard then when I was on Genesee St. I couldn’t see. I stopped at my cousin’s house and she calmed me down. I went on to my Dad’s. In the meantime, she had called him and when she started screaming at him, he hung up on her.
He had told me a couple of weeks before that he had thrown her out of his house because she was whining again about no money. He told her to get a job, like we have all been telling her for the past 25 years. She said she didn’t like Polish people. Well his mother came from Poland and we are all part Polish, so what the heck? She wanted money from him to fix her car.
When I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from the Town of Tonawanda police that “Ruth Sippel Pace, Gertrude McQueen and Kathy Inglis are NOT to have any contact with Joan Wheeler.”
Now where did Gerty and Kathy get in this?
I swear to you Cathy, your mom needs a psych consult. My father said she is mentally ill, and I see that. I am sorry to tell you this, but I believe it. All she had to say was, “Thank you for telling me about Aunt Doris. Goodby.”
there was no reason for her to off on me like she did, or call the cops on me. If she hauls me into court for harassment, all she is going to get is a psych consult. Because I will insist on it. She threatened my life once before. The district attorney knows this.
I am not going to write to you again about this. I just wanted you to know what went down. I undertstand that she is your mother and you love her.
But geez, she is my little sister, I love her too. Why the hell would I have called to tell her about Aunt Doris? I can’t stand this anymore. I’m done. I didn’t call her to make trouble I swear. I won’t make the same mistake again. (Ruth’s note, July 15, 2011 – This was all written on November 3, 2009, just a couple of weeks before Joan’s book was published. Notice how I tell my neice that Joan is “my little sister and I love her.” Because why would I have been crying like that from getting abuse from someone whom I loved? BUT when I read that horrible book – when I saw how almost every page was lie and hate against me over and over and her disgusting things she said about my mother’s deadbody my heart turned to stone against her. Yes, after 30 years of crap from her, there was still love there, but no longer. And Joan did all to herself. Yes, I mention my son that I lost – June 1985, Saied Ali, my heart. After years of trying to concieve, and I lost my only child. And Joan was there – she drove me home from the hospital – and in her book, she makes a mockery of my miscarriage. My only child – my baby, and Joan mocked his loss. – That is why any remaining love I had for Joan left me when I read that filthy book). now, back to the original email of Nov. 3, 2009″

ps I already shredded the piece of paper that I wrote her phone number on. I did not memorize it. I swear to you, I will not call her, I will not drive over there. I will not contact her. I am done. I try to do the right thing and all I get is a kick in the teeth AGAIN. no more.

 Nov 4, 2009 RE: something happened today
*~*~They call me Cat, Kitty Cat*~*~ saysTo: Ladymoondancer ~
look im sorry bout wat has happened. 
 i originally wrote a message earlier but then i guess time warner decided to have a hiccup so it never sent, which gave me another chance to write with out being so mad. i am very sorry bout aunt doris’s passing. its too bad yet another person who probably was good has gone. i am sorry that mom did that. i guess my question to u is- y would u think shed wanna hear some one has passed, coming from u?…..u know better.lol. as to how she feels and how u feel. i think it best to stay clear of us. i would not tempt her. i know u said u wipe ur hands of her. not to sound like a bitch- but it would be best. i hope this means Kathy and Gertrude too. no contact with her at all. no smart things from her blogs or anykind of publication she has. she has it in her head u all are like gonna do ur best to hurt her….which if u r i have to say- so not cool……anyways, i understand u all r getting old, but my mom has good reason to think none of u wont try anything- the wheeler’s r fucking nuts!…well u sippels are a piece of work too….lol… i want to make it clear that none of u will not come into contact with my mom, my brother, or my nana- none of them want it or can handle it. as for me. if either of the other 2 wanna have any contact- they will have to ask u to write me a message via myspace. i do not want any disturbances from anyone- i want my own life. i deserve it. i wanted things to go different- i hoped everyone would get over everything so that when times like these came- we’d all be civil. i was surely wrong. mom just has alot of hurt. not saying none of u dont, but i see it of course more form her. if any one else passes- let maryelle or joselyn contact mom. gpa sippel should have known better not to give my moms number out to anyone. so yea- i was there kind of when u called. i was taking a shower- and thought something was wrong. she was crying and yelling that u had called. i got mad and thought- here we go again. i told her i didnt give a crap bout watever happened between u 2. but yea she was very distrought. so please- fo my sake- no more contact, ever- from any of u in any form. leave her alone- let her write her lil things online- its a free country and the internet is free- i mean we allow freaky ass porn!- let her do her shit in peace. let her, my brother and my nana be in peace. and im sorry for the way everything went down. it was a fragile time for everyone and i am sorry. i wish i knew this doris woman, she must have been a good woman. and please- no response to this other than- telling me that u will keep ur promise and tell the other 2 to stay away from us. thanks, and sorry again.

Nov 4, 2009 RE: something happened today
Ladymoondancer ~ saysTo: *~*~They call me Cat, Kit…

o(k I hear ya.
I agree with you that it was not a smart thing to call. but as I said, I only wanted to let her know about Aunt Doris.
but you know, you are a little unfair. you say steer clear of Dennis and your Nana. I understand you are only looking out for your family. I am not looking to call them. Neither is Gert or Kathy.
As for your mom’s blog, well, yeah, it’s a free country and all, like you say, so why is it, that only the sippels must censor themselves? Your mom can go on and on and say this and that about us. but the minute we say ANYTHING, it’s always, “don’t do that. it will hurt Joni.”
What about my hurt? Do you think I like being labeled scum of the earth? When all I ever did was set limits? Like telling your mom and dad, that I will not be disrespected?
Did I ever call somebody’s place of employment for 6 months straight and tell them that they have a thief and a computer hacker working for them? do you know how embarrased I was? do you know how embarrased I was when I met Mayor Anthony Maseilo and he saw my name tag and said, “Ruth Sippel, now where do I know that name from?” from the crazy letters your mom wrote to him. When here I am, at a symposium for block clubs, and passed a course at the Buffalo Police Academy, doing things in local government, only to have the mayor look at me like I’m crazy thanks to your mom.
So I’m supposed to sit back and let this happen to me year after year after year?
Or your mom calling the immigration department in England to scheme to have Kathy deported from there and sent back to Buffalo, when it was always Kathy’s dream to live there. Or how Kathy gets a letter from some college professor in Holland who proceeds to tell Kathy how to live her life because your mom has told him some lies about her.
So we are supposed to get hurt over and over?
And everything was ok for the past few years until your mom goes on the internet on her blog and singles out THE SIPPEL SISTERS. and slanders us.
internet is free speech? ok, so I have the free speech too. It works both ways. and this is something your mom refuses to see.
She wants us to respect our privacy, and not to gossip about her,  but she runs into Francine’s brother and then starts telling him about what a bitch I am. And he’s like, hey, I’ve known Ruth since I was 1 year old, and she’s my aunt, and who is this whackjob and then he finally has to tell her to shut up in the middle of the muffler shop and he gets his boss looking at him, and I have to hear it from his other brother.
As for the Sippels being a piece of work, well yep. That’s right. Gert put herself thru school and became a dental hygeinist. Worked for the government. Retired a few years, is now an artist. Kathy scrimped and saved and emigrated to another country, became an accomplished guitarist and school teacher. Me, I have held the same job for 37 years. Am renovating my home. Was a professional dancer for a time. Board member of the Beledi Club, an organization for belly dancers. organized and head up the block club on my street. My brother before he died, worked in a hospital, studied medieval warfare. And all of us are artists and writers. I am head of a local Star Trek fan group.
And all of us have never stolen money from each other, maybe have snipped at snapped at each other, but always came back to hugs and kisses. Never tried to set each other up with the police and the courts. Never been arrested. Never sent false letters telling them that their spouse was unfatithful, never called false child abuse on each other.
As for my father “should have known better to give your mom’s phone number out.”
Why? I told him why I was going to call her. So she got kicked out of his house a few weeks ago? And whose fault is that?
so everything is always the fault of somebody else. Your mom is mentally ill, there is no reasoning with her. I am not out to hurt her. Neither are my sisters. But ask yourself, who is out to hurt whom? Do you think I was just all happy go lucky to open a letter and read my spouse got a women pregnant, and the house was vacant? So it was a lie.
And why did your mom sent me that? to have me say, O I’m so happy to hear this letter. No, the person who is doing the hurting is your mom. And then she gets surprised to find out that nobody likes her. or wants her in their life. and she has only herself to blame.

and now, here’s Joan’s version of that phone call, short and sweet, but all twisted to make it sound that I was harrassing her. Who’s the liar?

 1. Gert McQueen – July 15, 2011
Ruth reports in the above post that…

When I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from the Town of Tonawanda police that “Ruth Sippel Pace, Gertrude McQueen and Kathy Inglis are NOT to have any contact with Joan Wheeler.” Now where did Gerty and Kathy get in this?

Gert here:
When I was told about that phone message, I got the police phone number and officer’s name from Ruth and I call him. He told me that I HAD NOTHING TO WORRY about because that police station, where Joan Wheeler lives, KNOWS ALL ABOUT HER. They recognize her constant calls about harassments and that I ought to just ignore the phone message.

As I told the police, HOW DID two other people, miles and an ocean away from Joan Wheeler get lumped together with another person who made a LEGITMATE phone call? The reason is because Joan Wheeler lumps the three of us together as one unit and believes that we are OUT TO GET HER. The police are FULLY AWARE of Joan’s behavior and mental outlook.

In January of this year, just before our Dad died, Joan had gone unannouced to Dad’s home, where she was told NOT TO GO TO, and she gave a phone number to my step-mother who threw it in the garbage. In other words no body wanted the number. Days later, when the decision was made to call Joan and inform her of Dad’s passing, the question was asked ‘where is Joan’s phone number?’ and the answer was ‘IN THE GARBAGE’. It was fished out in order to phone Joan to inform her of Dad’s death and WHEN she was able to have her personal and private (away from all family members) viewing.

To be perfectly clear…no one WANTS Joan’s number, in fact we all wish she would remove her TWO WEB sites that are slanderous, libelous and full of lies about us and our families and fade into the sunset…

It’s time for Joan Wheeler to get the message…you have lost, give it up already!!

 Ruth – July 15, 2011
Gert is right to point out that in January of 2011, Joan shows up at our father’s house WHERE SHE WAS TOLD NOT TO COME. We see here, Joan’s double standard. She is thrown out of our father’s house late summer 2009, and told never to return – reason? She insulted my father’s blood lineage (and her own – what an idiot) and his religion. (boy I know that one – because she insulted my relgion, AND Gert’s, AND Kathy’s).

ALSO – the day my father died, January 11, 2011, my husband and I rushed to the hospital. There were a total of 8 family members there – and then my brother and his girlfriend came, making a total of 10. While we were saying our goodbyes to Dad, the phone rang – my stepsister answered it, it was Joan. She held the phone at arms length – “what should I tell her?” We all shook our heads – my stepmother said “I don’t want her here.” M. said on the phone, “sorry, you just missed him.” and hung up. 20 minutes later, the phone rang again. I picked it up. “This is Joan Wheeler, can I speak to my father?” I said, “sorry, he’s not available.” Hey – he could have been in x-ray or getting a ct scan! But then Joan starting calling his house and leaving messages AFTER SHE HAD BEEN TOLD NOT TO CALL THE HOUSE!

Gert reported to me later that she went with our stepmother and was sitting at the kitchen table while my stepmother was clearing her messages and on one message Joan says “I will keep calling until I find out about my father.”

Who the hell does she think she is? She was told DON’T CALL. Yet she calls and ADMITS that she will keep calling an elderly woman! This is HARASSMENT and ELDER ABUSE!

And this two-faced bitch gets on the internet and reports that I harassed her when I merely called to tell her that her namesake died? And further calls an elderly man and screams at him for giving me her phone number?

Oh, so let me get this straight – JOAN CAN GIVE OUT ORDERS AND BITCH AND COMPLAIN WHEN SOMEBODY GOES AGAINST THOSE ORDERS! But when Joan is GIVEN the same dam orders, (don’t call) – SHE CAN IGNORE THE ORDERS!

Oh no way Joan honey, you don’t get to be a dam dictator, and tell everyone how to run their lives, and disregard their set boundaries. And then report on the internet how people go against YOUR dictated orders, but don’t report how YOU go against other people’s wishes.

Now you know why people HATE Joan and run the hell away from her!

2. Ruth – July 15, 2011 
Here’s an interesting email I just got from Gert – who was reminiscing about Joan and her ways.

“I remember a time when I came to visit Dad, and I took Ginette (our stepmother) shopping and she told me that when Joan would take her shopping Joan would put items in the cart and not until they got to the check out would Joan mention that she put the items in the cart and she didn’t have any money to pay them. Ginette said she never told Dad!! what a slease ball she is….

I remember when she invited us over, when she had her first apartment, and she said she was going to have spagetti and meatball and I have to bring the meat! And ofcourse I did…

Ruth here – yep – this is the kind of shit that Joan has done to us year after year – she’s a scam artist, a thief – her and her ex-husband scammed me out several hundred dollars!

Oh, I know how sweet and lovely and how innocent she can portray herself to be. I am a very intelligent person – I am very computer savvy, I own my house, have worked at my job for going on 39 years, trained to be a union steward, am well respected by my peers and colleagues,and yet got scammed! That is why I’m not too surprised at Jennifer Willett, Pastor Ruth Willert, Mara, Heather, Daisy, Laura, and others who listen to Joan’s whines and all think that I am a bitch and Joan is the saint. — Joan has a way of sugar coating things – and is very very sneaky. She knows that civil, well mannered people are NOT going to make a fuss at the checkout – and my stepmother is no dummy either – She was educated at the Sorbonne University in Paris (French version of Yale or Harvard).

This is the purpose of this blog – to shed the light on the misdeeds and the words of the bully called Joan Mary Wheeler.

4. Ruth – July 19, 2011
Just wanted to add a little thing about the myspace email exchange between me and my niece – my niece didn’t respond further.

Because she knew what I said was true, and COULDN’T respond, for all her bravado on saying “the Sippels are a piece of work.” – cute little dig there, I see the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. – But when I said she was unfair and pointed out that yeah, we Sippel siblings have careers and jobs and interests and DON’T mess with people – she couldn’t respond.

And as for her saying in regards to her mother putting stuff on the internet, “let her write her lil things online-” and I tell her NO WAY! Guess she couldn’t respond to that one either!

My stepmother told me in 2004 that my niece had a bit of a mouth on her – oh yeah? humph – she mouthed off all right and when she got put in her place – that was the end of that!


I do not take slander and libel against me laying down, whether it is in print or on the internet. And no, I will NOT let Joan write her lil things online – because those “lil things” are lies and slander designed to TARNISH MY REPUTATION along with other members of my family.


aha – we have the evidence and now everyone can see what a lying filthy snake Joan Wheeler is. March 7, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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aha – we have the evidence and now everyone can see what a lying filthy snake Joan Wheeler is.

by Ruth Sippel Pace

This was just sent to me via email, the entire exchange and what Joan Wheeler said on the Huffington Post. She continues with her lies that she had multiple orders of protection against me, when in reality she only ONE. In her delusional mind, and her diarrhea of the mouth, ONE equals MANY. (was she never taught arithmetic?) Also for your consideration is the outlandish and disgusting lie about my grandfather. Joan has now taken the Angry Adoptee too fucking far and shows the world what a BITCH she really is. And this is going to help adoption reform? No! Rational people in congress and supreme court will NOT look at the rantings and ravings of such an irrational delusional liar as Joan Wheeler. For the love of god Joan, SHUT THE F UP!

Joan M Wheeler

Member Since October 2010
Comments (15) | Friends (46)
Joan M Wheeler’s Comments

View Comments: All News Only Blog Only Pending Only   Sort: Newest First Oldest First HuffPost Pick First
huffingtonpost entry

Abducted Versus Adopted: For 1.5 Million of U.S. Adoptees, What’s the Difference?

Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 16:43:37 in Living

“How do you get a “full refund” on an adoption? I know adoptees who have had their names cahnged back to the names they were given at birth. That is their right to do so in adulthood. They are re-claimii­ng what was taken from them.”

A Healthy Reminder: Adopted People Are Americans Too

A Healthy Reminder: Adopted People Are Americans Too

Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 16:32:42 in Health

“To Ruth Sippel Pace, Katherine Sippel Inglis, Gertrude Sippel McQueen

You can search my names on Google, read every comment and post I ever wrote, send follow-up comment postings and email to instigate and aggravate me. You don’t want me in your life so stay out of mine.

You are a destructiv­e force in the goals that I, and other adoption reformers, want to achieve.

I have gone to the police repeatedly to try to stop you. Orders of Protection only work for six months or one year, then, you are back again. New York State does not have Internet Bullying Laws. If New York did have these laws, I would have all three of my sisters arrested and convicted for causing me emotional and financial distress.

My three sisters do prove my point that separating siblings, especially after the death of a parent during childhood, damages the children who bring their mental anguish into adulthood.

My siblings have been inflicting their sick perversion­s and twisted obsessions upon me and my children and my adoptive mother since 1974. It appears that they will continue this right into old age and death. That is how mentally sick they are.


For adoption reform: http://for­biddenfami­ly.com

huffingtonpost entry

Abducted Versus Adopted: For 1.5 Million of U.S. Adoptees, What’s the Difference?

Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 16:21:24 in Living

“Since my three sisters do not want me in their lives and I don’t want them in mine, why don’t they leave me alone? I am not bothering them by doing my adoption reform activism. They are dragging themselves and their drama back into my life, time and time again. I am tired of defending myself against their personal attacks on me. In their blogs, they call for me to commit suicide. They say that I desecrated our father’s memorial book.. How? By writing my name in it? He is my father and I am his daugher. I have every right to sign his memorial book at the funeral parlor that nobody wanted me at. I get it. they don’t want me. I don’t want them either. But I am entitled to do adoption reform advocacy because I have been doing this since they found me in 1974. Why they have to continue to invade my life, I do not know. They are hateful people who won’t leave me alone.”

huffingtonpost entry

Abducted Versus Adopted: For 1.5 Million of U.S. Adoptees, What’s the Difference?

Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 16:15:12 in Living

“My second oldest sister, Kathy, not only invited me to her home, twice, in Liverpool, England (1976 and 1979), but on the second trip there she yelled at me that I “was not her sister” and that she “did not want me there”. She arranged for me to stay in a neighbor’s apartment down the hall. Apparently­, she could not stand the site of me because I “reminded her of THEM” and she did not want to have that horrible memory of the family she left behind in Buffalo, New York, USA. Also, she and her married, rich and famous boyfriend wanted a threesome with me, which I refused. In 1989, Kathy again invited me to Liverpool, but on the night before I was to leave she called me and told me to stay home, saying that my visit would “ruin everything­” for her. Because Kathy badmouthed me to our friends in Liverpool, I lost these people as my friends. I have not spoken to her since, yet she reads my blog constantly and has her own blog to discredit me.”

huffingtonpost entry

Abducted Versus Adopted: For 1.5 Million of U.S. Adoptees, What’s the Difference?

Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 16:14:21 in Living

“My eldest sister, Gert, sexually molested me repeatedly during the first years of our reunion. No, this was not Genetic Sexual Attraction (as known in adoption psychology­) this was initiated by drug and alcohol to intoxicate and to seduce me. She said it was “a way to get back to Momma”. So my eldest sister had her own idea of sex with me as she missed our dead mother and used me to that end. This first occurred when I was 20 years old and continued for about two years, which was two years after being found by this sister. It does not matter that I was “old enough to know better” because I was vulnerable from being found and having to deal with reunion and betrayal of my adoptive parents at that stage of young adulthood. Additional­ly, my eldest sister was 29 years old at the time and in a position of authority over me (eldest sister to youngest sister). Keep in mind that I was raised an only child, too, and had no counselor or therapist to help me.
Fact is that is that my older sisters were molested by our grandfathe­r and they think I escaped by being adopted. So they blame me for being an adoption activist. They were not adopted, I was, and they weasel into my life every chance they get.”

huffingtonpost entry

Abducted Versus Adopted: For 1.5 Million of U.S. Adoptees, What’s the Difference?

Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 16:09:53 in Living

“The sister closest in age to me, the fourth youngest sibling, Ruth, has violated my wishes to be left alone as recently as Nov 2009 when she asked our father for my unlisted phone number, which he gave her against my wishes. I had to change my phone number yet again to retain my privacy. Over many years, Ruth has written numerous pieces of hate mail to me, most of which were burned. However, Ruth still sent hateful and obscene letters to me. Ruth has had a fixation against me for decades. She believes I slept with her then-boyfr­iend-now-h­usband (no I did not) and called Child Abuse on me and my 80 year old adoptive mother because she claims I had sex with her man in front of my children and my mother watched, too. This formal accusation took place in 1996, caused disruption for my children, my adoptive mother and I, dragged us through months of court appearance­s. Ruth has showed up at my home in violation of several Orders of Protection that I had against her since the 1980s.

I filed for yet another Order of Protection in 2005, after yet more unwanted contact. Charges were dismissed because the judge was tired of it all. Since I cannot get the police to help me, nor a court of law to defend me, and I cannot reason with any of my three full blood sisters. I want to be left alone.”

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace on Mar 4, 2011 at 17:57:15

“this is the kind of garbage lies that JW posts on the internet about me. She says here she had orderS of protection­against me since the 1980’s, wrong, the only order of protection she ever got against me was in 1993.
If any one is interested in the TRUTH, these posts on my blog, contain scanned actual court documents that PROVE that what JW says here, March 4, 2011 is LIES and again is SLANDERING me and my sisters.
I, Ruth Sippel Pace maintain my right to answer JW’s smearing of MY reputation­.
If Joan wants to silence me on the internet the solution is obvious: JW needs to stop spreading false accusation­s about me and my sisters.”

huffingtonpost entry

Abducted Versus Adopted: For 1.5 Million of U.S. Adoptees, What’s the Difference?

Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 16:04:13 in Living

“My blood kin sisters have recently banned together to write their own blogs spreading filthy lies about me, saying that I am actively harming them by bullying them. I am not. Just because they say I am does not mean their statements are true. They are doing this all themselves­. They let the world know they were in the book because they identified themselves­. They are the ones bashing me. As instructed by the police and by WordPress and by my own website’s tech support, I have written a blog calling for my sisters to Cease and Desist their cruel behavior (even calling for me to kill myself). Please see the following blog for my statements defending myself: http://cyb­erbulliess­talkers.bl­ogspot.com­/.

There are no cyberbully­ing laws in New York State so I cannot call law enforcemen­t for protection­. I have been the victim of harassment and bullying from my three sisters for many decades. They have taken disagreeme­nts to the extreme.

I have no contact whatsoever with the three sisters who found me. They are mean and unstable people. I want only positive and loving people in my life. My sisters have caused a great deal of torment in my life, but they are not the focus of my reunion nor my life. I, alone, am the adoptee. My book is about my life and how adoption effected me and my immediate adoptive family, my now ex-husband­, and our children.”

A Healthy Reminder: Adopted People Are Americans Too

A Healthy Reminder: Adopted People Are Americans Too

Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 14:39:07 in Health

“Ruth has no business in my life now. We have had no relationsh­ip for over 3 decades. I am being stalked and bullied by my three older natural blood sisters. I want them out of my life but they keep ttrailing after me.

About my adoption: Our mother died when I was three months old. Our father placed me with my adopting parents one month later and I was legally adopted at age 1 year and 1 week. There facts are documented in my adoption papers which I petitioned for legally.”

A Healthy Reminder: Adopted People Are Americans Too

A Healthy Reminder: Adopted People Are Americans Too

Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 11:29:45 in Health

“Dana Seilhan said: “We wouldn’t need birth certificat­­e access legislatio­­n if we’d quit changing birth certificat­­es to begin with.”

Exactly. So why don’t we start legislatio­n across the USA to stop this practice? Someone has to put a stop to it. Access legislatio­n makes no sense when the cycle is not broken. Stop producing false birth certificat­es, start producing truthful adoption certificat­es, and we will eventually see that there is no need for sealed records. So, where’s the new legislatio­n to end the cycle? Get on it!!!”

A Healthy Reminder: Adopted People Are Americans Too

A Healthy Reminder: Adopted People Are Americans Too

Commented Mar 3, 2011 at 12:59:47 in Health

“Mres Delacour says: “Why then would you deny my right not to share with my adult children? They don’t need to know they were adopted – they don’t need to be as angry as you all are.”

Keeping secrets as deep as the true identity of your adoptee is surely indicative of a controling and insecure adoptive parent. You don’t need to be so possessive and afraid if you parented your adoptee with love. But I see that you are angry and paranoid. You did adopt someone else’s child and for that, you have evvery obligation to tell the truth: morally, ethically, religiousl­y, and legally. To base any relationsh­ip on lies is a set-up for disaster and pain. I feel sorry for you and your husband and your adoptee. You truley are ignorant of life-cycle adoption psychology­. Shame on you. As an adoptive parent you owe it to yourself to read Nancy Verrier’s books on what the adoptee experience­s. This isn’t about you, this is about the adoptee!”

A Healthy Reminder: Adopted People Are Americans Too

A Healthy Reminder: Adopted People Are Americans Too

Commented Mar 3, 2011 at 12:51:18 in Health

“part 2 to Mrs Delacour:

My amended birth certificat­e states all the birth facts: date and time of birth, and hospital, but I am re-named as if I were born with that name, and my adoptive mother is named as having given me birth. That is an outright lie! The one birth fact left off of my falsified birth certificat­e is that there were 4 other children born to the real mother. But I am forced to present this document as proof of my birth. I resent it.

In addition to giving back a civil right to own our original birth certificat­es, I would like to see the eliminatio­n of the amended birth certificat­e as an automatic dictate upon adoption. Instead, replace the amended and falsified birth certificat­e with an adoption certificat­e which states the facts of adoption. Leave the birth certificat­e alone and open to the adoptee. The adoption certificat­e should be open, too. This is the way it is done in more progressiv­e countries such as The Netherland­s and Australia.”

A Healthy Reminder: Adopted People Are Americans Too

A Healthy Reminder: Adopted People Are Americans Too

Commented Mar 3, 2011 at 12:50:23 in Health

“Mrs Delacour,

I am not grateful to be adopted. Why would I? My adoptive parents knowingly and willingly prevented me from knowing my own full blood siblings during my childhood and that is child abuse. Yes, my natural father relinquish­ed me to adoption when I was 4 months old just after the death of my mother. He kept the other 4 children. That alone is hurtful, but my adoptive parents knew my father and open visitation could have been arranged. But my so-called loving adoptive parents kept me all to themselves­, alone, in their sheltered cocoon of adoption-l­ove. I should have been told the truth.

Now about the birth certificat­e issue: I was born the 5th child to married parents. My original birth certificat­e states that there were 4 other children born to this mother. I was given a name and my long form birth certificat­e states the date and time of birth in the hospital. My natural father gave this document to my adopting parents when he relinquish­ed me.

(end of part 1)”

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace on Mar 4, 2011 at 14:20:35

“First, the reason JW was adopted was because my dad had to go to work and there was no one to take care of her. Would JW have liked to have lain in a crib unattended for up to 9 hours a day? THAT is child abuse and neglect. She was adopted by people who could take care of her 24/7.

Second, JW states “I should have been told the truth.” JW should begin by telling the truth in all posts on the internet. She was not 4 months old when she was adopted, but 3 months.”

Miss Morgan B Aird on Mar 3, 2011 at 17:35:48

“It is unfortunat­e, Joan, you feel not knowing your biological siblings is child abuse, but it’s statistica­lly proven that it’s not the healthiest thing (psycholog­ically) for a child. Yes, your adoptive parents should have told you about your biological family & no let it be a “hush/tabo­o” thing to talk about, but think of it like this… imagine meeting your family and going home, you wonder: “Why did he keep them and not me? Am I not good enough? Why does my dad not want to take care of me?” all at the age of 5 or 13. We both know that’s something you would not wish on any child, especially during the time in which you are trying to find and define yourself. All your adoptive parents did was love you like your biological family obviously couldn’t. You could have been in the foster care system or killed and put in the garbage like other innocent children who don’t have as loving and considerat­e people as both sets of parents.
You were blessed to be adopted, regardless of how you feel now. I do not know anything about my biological parents and it isn’t until now (26 years later) my adoptive mom wants to seriously talk,other than when I was a child. I have a biological brother that is only 16 months older than me (which she kept), but I love both my parents just the same, because I am here and I am wonderful!”

Wallet Missing For 40 Years Found In NY Crevice

Wallet Missing For 40 Years Found In NY Crevice

Commented Feb 22, 2011 at 11:31:59 in New York

““A Wallet Stolen and Returned, A Birth Certificat­e Stolen, Both Have Sentimenta­l Value”

A wallet stolen 40 years ago and returned to the rightful owner certainly has sentimenta­l value. The person who found the wallet felt “fantastic satisfacti­on” by giving back the wallet after all these years.

But what of adoptees who have had their identities at birth stolen from them? Shouldn’t they be the beneficiar­ies of a society who now realizes the tremendous sentimenta­l value of obtaining one’s own birth certificat­e? Currently, New York and New Jersey are preventing millions of adoptees from accessing their sealed original birth certificat­es by refusing to pass legislatio­n that would reunite adoptees with their original birth certificat­es.

Give adoptees back their civil rights to the truth of their births. Change the law. Let’s make human interest stories out of the positive outcomes that would result from reuniting an adoptee with the true certificat­e that documents the day they were born.

Joan Wheeler born Doris Sippel”

huffingtonpost entry

Abducted Versus Adopted: For 1.5 Million of U.S. Adoptees, What’s the Difference?

Commented Feb 11, 2011 at 10:44:53 in Living

“My natural father legally relinquish­ed me to adoption in 1956. He willingly set for the separation of his five children, but inn what was handled as a closed adoption back then, could have easily been guardiansh­ip or even open adoption as it was an open placement. Both sets of parents knew each other and my adoptive parents knew that I had sisters and a brother. What turned my adoption into what I feel like – an abduction – is that my adoptive parents intentiona­lly prevented me contact. I was raised an only child and for no good reason. We could have had a childhood together, but the adults involved and the courts that ruled that I should be forever kept away, hidden in the suburbs, while my siblings lived six miles away. This was cruelty to five children. My four older sibs searched for and found me at my age of 18. I was in total shock being found at that young age. I never fully regained composure from that shock, realizing that the parents who raised me never wanted me to know the truth. It hurts to be treated as a possession­. To be treated with disrespect­, to be held captive as their only daughter when they knew I had sisters and a brother…­The wasted years and the reunion turned sour. We lost so much of life and couldn’t maintain relationsh­ips. Adoption is a cruelty that should not be. Guardiansh­ip and family preservati­on should have been set up.”

Gert McQueen on Feb 14, 2011 at 09:24:12

“It was said: Actually, I was talking about the obvious pain of all 3 of these women.

The recent ‘pain’ is because of the lying book that Joan wrote about all family members and non-member­s in her quest for laying the blame of her miserable life on the doorstep of adoption.

I divorced myself from this woman back in 1982 because of what she did to my family, because I ‘adopted’ my own son and she didn’t like that and my telling her to leave me and my family alone. Ten years later, I attempted a reconcilat­ion, in person, she again betrayed me, attacking my mental health and religion and then another attempt by me by phone in 2005 again was met with more betrayal, she thought I was looking for informatio­n to ‘get her’.

I am in no pain…Joa­n is…becau­se she can not stop the truth, that we sisters are saying, on our blog. If the truth hurts, it is not my family that is hurting, only Joan because she refuses to accept the truth of the life that she was given.”

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace on Feb 12, 2011 at 16:34:56

“I am Ruth Pace, a natural sibling of Ms. Wheeler. Ms. Wheeler is entitled to her own opinions, however misguided on being “abducted.­” But in reality, she was LEGALLY adopted after our mother died, leaving behind a 3 month infant (Joan) and 4 other small children. My father was himself an only child, his parents were elderly, our mother’s siblings also were unable to take in a whole family of 5. Therefore the decision was made to give Joan to 2 parents who could properly care for an infant. My father did NOT “willingly­” separate us. He did what needed to be done. Would Joan liked to have laid unattended in a crib for up to 10 hours a day as an infant? Ms. Wheeler just will NOT accept that in the 50’s there were no day care centers, or welfare system like today, and my father had NO CHOICE.. Ms. Wheeler has also written a book filled with misreprese­ntations such as this about my father, along with many out and out lies.
My sister and I have a blog refuting Ms. Wheeler’s book at http://rut­hsippelpac­e.wordpres­s.com/ where we tell WHY our reunion went sour.”

Gert McQueen on Feb 12, 2011 at 10:13:36

“I’m Gert McQueen a birth sister to Joan Wheeler, See my blog ‘Refuting a Book of Lies; Forbidden Family’ @ ruthsippel­pace.wordp­ress.com Our purpose is truth telling.

The truth about Joan’s book is that is is an extremely long painful account of the author’s own perception­s of her reality where in she fabricates­, exaggerate­s and boldly lies about people and events. She describes her own character flaws presenting them as reasons for why she believes she has been traumatize­d by adoption and in that process doesn’t realize the harm she has done to herself and others. She portrays both the birth and adoptive families is very negative ways and claims to be harassed by us birth sisters. She does not tell of her own negative actions towards the birth sisters or many other people. The author is violently opposed to adoption and adoptive parents and is not truly interested in helping people,

My sisters and I are not hiding anything we say or do about refuting her book or other actions she has said or done to us; we put everything we do on our blog for it is a truth-tell­ing blog. It is the birth sisters’ position that the fact of a publicatio­n of a book of lies and misreprese­ntation is an grave dishonor to our parents, ourselves and other members of our family and the adoptive family.”

huffingtonpost entry

Miracles, the Brain and Adoption

Commented Oct 6, 2010 at 13:03:52 in Living

“This article was very helpful to me as I am both an adoptee and a premie. I was born at 32 weeks, was kept in an incubator for 6 weeks after birth, and it is not clear to me if my mother of father were allowed to visit me. Since my mother was dying, she was bedridden, and I was told she was “shown” me a few times. It is not clear if my mother had nursed me at all.

The primal wound is very much a part of my life, longing for closeness that was taken from me so soon after birth because I almost died and had to be kept in medical isolation to bring up my weight and physical developmen­t. Soon after I was released from the hosptial, my mother died, which led to my relinquish­ment and adoption.

Thank you for your article.

However, I would hardly call adoption “wonderful­”: “Adoption is a wonderful way to start and have a family.” Be careful. Adoption as practiced in America is filled with destructio­n. If adoptive parents would truely be open and honest with their adoptee (mine were not) and adoptees’ the birth certificat­e are not sealed and falsified, and if connection­s with the family of origin are not severed…­then adoption would become guardiansh­ip. Ever here of family preservati­on?

I am for total and complete adoption prevention­.
Joan M Wheeler born Doris M Sippel

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Joan Wheeler: you are a disgusting piece of shit after what you said on the Huffington Post March 7, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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comments closed

by Ruth Sippel Pace

So this idiotic neurotic nutball has the nerve to say on the internet that her birth sisters were sexually molested by their grandfather. What a lowdown bitch she is.

First, this never happened. Joan keeps scraping the bottom of her filthy black heart to come up with lies to use against her birth sisters.

Second, even if it were true, how would you dare to post this – what a filthy bitch Joan is – this is called exploitation of a rape victim, and is the lowest a person could go in a smear campaign.

Yes, what Joan did is to try to exploit a rape victim, even if the event never happened, it is Joan’s INTENT –  she wanted to hurt us. Why would anyone want to try to hurt another human being in this fashion? – Joan has no morals. And she proves it when she wrote another filthy lie about her birth family in her continual smear campaign against her birth sisters and true to her ELDER ABUSING character, she sullies the character of my elderly grandfather, a man who having died 52 years ago, is no longer around to defend himself.

What kind of immoral bitch are you Joan? Please take your delusions and shove them.

Adoption reformers: take a good look at Joan Mary Wheeler. do you like what you see?

Gert McQueen answers the latest lowdown slandering of the Sippel Sisters done by Joan Wheeler March 7, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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(Joan’s posts in blue, Gert’s are in green)
Gert McQueen:
Well I guess I missed something in all the excitement on the Huff site…
Joan said:
Fact is that is that my older sisters were molested by our grandfathe ­r and they think I escaped by being adopted. So they blame me for being an adoption activist. They were not adopted, I was, and they weasel into my life every chance they get.”
This woman is so out to lunch, she obviously doesn’t have a clue about anything anymore. How does Joan know anything as FACT in relationship to the blood family? She is kidding herself, she knows nothing. She added this section, as another thought, as she was in the middle of writing her rantings on the Huffington site. This shows that she is beginning to crack up, BIG TIME. She was in the middle of a cut and paste job from her cyberbullying page rant against us AND she got carried away and added this new comment against what Ruth and I were writing. She had to make her case against us as more and more outlandish.
Doesn’t she see that people SEE the insanity in what she writes? Of course NOT, she is mentally ill.
To state such a ‘fact’, even if it were true, is to show what bad taste and low life Joan really is. And then to add more fantasies that, she ‘escaped’ molestation by adoption and that is why we hate her.
Fact, for what she is talking about….it didn’t happened! What an outrageous statement to say! Not only is it untrue, but it is so ‘below the belt’ that it has no shred of decency to it. Joan is so sick she has lost all sense of decency. She thinks she can hurt us with all these lies but in reality she is HURTING herself. People read what she writes and they want to get as far away from her as possible.
Let’s talk about ‘weasel’ ing into another life. It was Joan that weaseled herself into our lives, not the other way around. Joan seems to have forgotten her book were she details how and why she interfered in all of our lives. But fear not, we will shall be getting OUR SIDE OF THE STORY out there.
Why the hell would I want to be in Joan’s life? It is only because she refuses to get OUT of our lives that we are speaking out against her. If she didn’t want us in her life why did she write about us…did she think we would be happy with what she had to say?
 Get rid of that book Joan and we will be out of your life. I don’t care about your activist activity with adoption, I care about your damn lies…
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