Joan Mary Wheeler decides to step in (unwanted and uninvited) to help Laura Ruffino adopt the four daughters of her late best friend Elizabeth Diamond and blabs confidential information about the family on her facebook page. August 7, 2015Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
Tags: adoption, blabbing confidential information, Disrespect, Elizabeth Diamond, gossip, Laura Ruffino, misrepresenting one's credentials, stupidity
“When Elizabeth Diamond was diagnosed with Stage 4 brain cancer in 2014, the single mom was deeply concerned about what would happen to her four young daughters after she was gone. But Diamond, who died in April at the age of 40, needn’t have worried. Her best friend, Laura Ruffino of Orchard Park, New York adopted the four girls.”
So starts the article on this adoption (with a bit of help from me on that last sentance) on the Huffington Post, published on July 23, 2015. You can see the original Huffington post here:
Well, it turns out that as the most supreme adoption expert out there, Joan Mary Wheeler decided to step in and give UNWANTED advice to Laura Ruffino via a mutual friend. Er, um, that is Joan WANTED to contact Mrs. Ruffino and advise her. I don’t know if Joan ever got to meet Mrs. Ruffino and tell her how to run her own life. But we have Joan’s full comment that she wrote on both the Huffington Post and on her facebook page on July 23, 10:04 pm.
A friend of mine is a close friend of the deceased mother, Elizabeth Diamond. When she told me of the mother’s death and the impending adoption, I volunteered to help in the only way I knew: to give advice against the adoption. Why? Because I didn’t want the girls’ true identities to be sealed and then falsified by new birth certificates as this is what adoption does. Using my own life story as proof, I explained that I was given up to a closed adoption one month after the death of my mother from cancer. I was only three months old when my mother died. My father relinquished me to a closed adoption and kept his four older children. My adoption not only took away my family, but took away my birth certificate and gave me a completely new identity.
I did not want the same thing to happen to these girls. I did not want them to lose their true identities in order to have a home with their mother’s best friend.
I explained that legal guardianship would be a better choice, that Elizabeth Diamond’s best friend, Laura Ruffino, and her husband, Rico, could be legal guardians as opposed to adoptive parents. Guardianship, I explained, would preserve the four girls’ birth certificates, preserve Elizabeth Diamond’s place as their mother, and at the same time, give the four girls a stable home. Info was transferred to the attorney.
My friend later told me that the adoption was a necessary legal action to protect the girls. There are private, extenuating circumstances concerning the girls’ father. That is why he is not mentioned in the article.
It was determined that the girls would, indeed, maintain their own birth certificates in this adoption: their birth certificates would not be sealed and no new birth certificates would be made implying that the new adoptive parents gave birth to these four girls.
For that, I am grateful. These girls lost their mother in April. They did not need to lose their identities upon adoption on top of losing their mother.
The general public needs to know that there are other alternatives to adoption. Promoting adoption, and only displaying the happy side of adoption, is very misleading. The finality of adoption, the striping away of a child’s identity, the sealing of birth certificates and the automatic issuance of a new birth certificate upon adoption are all aspects of adoption that need to be pointed out as unnecessary and harmful to all adopted people.
Now go back up 4 paragraphs and re-read that sentance again and I repeat it here for emphasis: THERE ARE PRIVATE, EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES CONCERNING THE GIRL’S FATHER. THAT IS WHY HE IS NOT MENTIONED IN THE ARTICLE.
Following her posting this on her facebook page, was a discussion between Joan and her anti-adoption friends and one of them asked about the biological father of the four girls and Joan wrote this the following day on July 24 at 5:33pm:
“I was trying to get this family to go for legal guardianship as the father is a s********… that is why the family went for adoption – to keep him away from the girls.”
But less than 24 hours prior, Joan was saying that it was a PRIVATE circumstance about the bio-dad. So who the HELL does Joan Wheeler think she is to BLAB that PRIVATE information on her very PUBLIC facebook page, or ANYWHERE or to ANYONE?
This is coming from someone who keeps saying she is a social worker? No, she is not – she went to COLLEGE for social work, but she has NOT WORKED ONE SINGLE DAY AS A SOCIAL WORKER! And if she WAS a social worker, to breach the confidentiality of a current or prospective client is a a breach of the code of ethics of professional social workers. And there are ways for people to file complaints against a social worker and get their license pulled and censured and terminated from their place of employment. But Joan doesn’t work for ANYONE – she is on Social Security Disability. For her mental problems.
Think I am making this up? here are the screenshots I took of the comments that I quoted above as they appeared on Joan Mary Wheeler’s facebook page. I whited out that information that Joan Wheeler blabbed.
Joan Mary Wheeler violated the privacy of people she doesn’t even know and I hope they go after her with a lawyer. And Laura Ruffino – if you read this – I would find out WHO that close friend of yours is that blabbed this information to Joan Wheeler in the first place.
Read Gert’s blog post about Joan’s sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong here: https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2015/07/30/when-others-adopt-joanmwheeler-volunteers-to-advise-them-against-doing-so-why-because-shes-been-dupedbyadoption/
UPDATE, APRIL 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, Disrespect, harassment, Lies, mental illness, mental instability
I don’t know how many of my readers are aware of the youtube video of a woman going off on a racist rant in Cheektowaga, New York. Cheektowaga is a suburb of Buffalo, NY, and the incident took place at the Airport Plaza, about 3 miles from my home. I don’t know the woman and I’m glad I don’t. I don’t know the man she was screaming at either.
The incident occurred on Friday, May 30, 2014. The man started his van, startling the woman’s son. The woman started yelling at the man that he scared her son. She then proceeded to call him a “n” – yes – the N word that shows clearly she is a racist. The man picked up his cell phone and began filming her – and she kept insulting him, turning her back on him while she got on her cell phone to call someone. All the while she kept calling the man “N” and then says she doesn’t like black people and her children don’t either. Then she gets her children to swear at him. The children are very young, and while their mother is busy with her racist rant, begin to show signs of shock, confusion, and being frightened.
The man in the van calmly tells the woman “great, now you have your children swearing at me.” and continues to video the woman. The woman, is talking to someone on her cell phone but telling the black guy it’s the police, the children’s father, her husband, and her lawyer – she can’t seem to make up her mind who she is talking to.
She’s also taking in non-sequitor (nonsensical) statements. Nowhere does the black man say he knows the police, but she starts yelling/talking to whoever on her cell phone “Oh HE knows the cops. How many cops have I stripped for?”
She’s worked herself up into a rage and threatens to throw hot coffee on the man, who then rolls up the window of his van, but then lowers it. Meanwhile, she’s still ranting and raving.
In the story published in The Buffalo News, published on June 5, 2014, the man says he was shocked by how her anger escalated.
The man did post the video to youtube, and the woman called a talk radio and identified herself and said she was bi-polar. Because she identified herself, some people tracked down her address and put it on the internet. Rocks were being thrown at her house, her children threatened. AND Child Protective Services took her children away earlier this week. I don’t know the reasons why – probably because in the video she is neglecting them, telling them to call a strange man names and basically put them in danger because of her stupid behavior.
Now we can get into the discussion of race, and the responsibilites and consequences of a parents actions another time. And I’ve been debating this on the facebook page of WGRZ-TV, a local news station that did a story on this earlier this week. And on the youtube channel that put out this video.
What I want to discuss here – is how this woman’s behavior mirrors that of a person that I know very well – the person of whom this blog is about – Joan Wheeler.
But first – let’s take a look at this now famous video – it went viral, and by this evening (Friday, June 6, 2014) and had 7 million views.
So, have you watched it? I hope you did, because otherwise you won’t understand what I am going to say.
Notice in the beginning of the video, not the beginning of the incident, because the young man didn’t do anything wrong, only started his car, and has this white woman begin calling him racist names, and then starts the video. Because of what happened to Trayvon Martin in Florida, and a couple of recent police brutality cases in Buffalo, one involving a young black man, I’m sure this man’s instinct was to get documentation of what was happening.
The woman is merely being a dumbass making a racist comment. Soon she works herself up into a rage and is fairly frothing at the mouth when she walks up to the man’s van and gets into his face and insults him again.
The man is not getting out of his car, not getting into a screaming match with her, but trying calmly to get his point across – that racism is alive and well in Cheektowaga – and every time he says something – she tries to shut him down.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT JOAN WHEELER DOES! EVERYTHING THE WOMAN IN THE VIDEO IS SHOWN DOING IS EXACTLY WHAT JOAN WHEELER DOES – I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN HER IN ACTION!
The conversation starts out fairly civilized, but once Joan sees that you disagree with her, or are not obeying her – she begins to get agitated. Begins the swearing and screaming. You stand there, not believing what has just happened. She’s now frothing at the mouth and screaming so hard you can’t get a word in edgewise. If you are on the phone with her – the rant ends by Joan slamming the phone on you – leaving you shaking in anger and shock.
As to the non-sequitar statement made on the video about the man knowing cops and she strips for cops – Joan also does this. Out of the clear blue sky, Joan will say something and you don’t know what the hell she is talking about.
The woman in the video called a radio talk show and said she is bi-polar. Well so is Joan. And? So we are supposed to take this kind of verbal abuse because THEY are bi-polar?
On November 3, 2009, I called Joan on the phone to tell her that our Aunt Doris had died. I didn’t know Joan’s phone number, so I called my father. Knowing that a few months prior to this, he had kicked Joan out of his house and life, I didn’t know if he still had her phone number. So I called him up and asked him. He sounded tired and I said that I would call Joan and tell her about Aunt Doris. He gave me the number and I called her.
Me: “Joan, this is Ruth.”
Joan: “how did you get this number?”
Me: “from Dad.”
Joan: “NOT a good idea.”
Me: “Whatever. Anyway, I’m calling to tell you that Aunt Doris died the other day and I thought you should know.”
(now up to this point, both me and Joan are talking calmly, although she was a bit snippy when she said that it was NOT a good idea that Dad had given me the number). We continue with the conversation —
Joan: “Thank you for that, (calmly), — BUT YOU HAVE NO FUCKING %$$#&**(^^%% (now she’s yelling and I can’t even make out what she’s saying) AND FUCK YOU AND #$%$%^&&^%%$#@!!!!!!”
What did the Buffalo News say about the young man making the video? That he was shocked by how the woman’s anger escalated? Well, that was I how I felt when I was being subjected to this barrage of verbal abuse! I still had my email from our Uncle Rich telling me that Aunt Doris (not his wife, but his late brother’s ex-wife) had passed. I remember staring at Doris’ name (Joan’s birth name was Doris, named for Aunt Doris, and that’s why I thought, no, KNEW that it was important that Joan be told of her passing. Silly me, I didn’t think that I would get this kind of thanks). I kept staring at my computer screen and hearing Joan going off on a rampage. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO WRONG??? I actually burst into tears, but Joan did not hear me crying, because she was too busy yelling unintelligible insults at me. I finally did hear and understand something about “AND YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY SISTER…!!!”
It was at this point I yelled back at her – “BITCH – YOU DON’T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD SISTER!” and hung up on her.
What Joan Wheeler did to me on that day was bully me by subjecting me to verbal abuse. And I will not tolerate it. I don’t care what your problem is – bi-polar, whatever – YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO ABUSE OTHER PEOPLE THEN USE YOUR ILLNESS AS AN EXCUSE!
Get your ass on meds and get the hell away from me and other people who are simply going about their lives.
The “Truth” does not lie in the middle – the Truth is simply the Truth – a lesson for Joan Wheeler and her puppets (Laura Heath, Brian Maloney, Mara Rigge) April 12, 2014Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Lessons in Life.
Tags: dishonesty, Disrespect, facts, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, LIBEL, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity, Truth
My facebook buddy, David Gerrold, wrote this this evening:
“The truth is not in the middle. The truth is where the truth is. Sometimes it’s not even between the two extremes. Sometimes it’s in another place entirely.
You can move the middle by stretching one side or the other, but the truth does not move when the middle does. People who say “the truth is somewhere in the middle” are admitting they’re too lazy to do their research.
And those who insist on moving the middle are admitting — if not to themselves — that their argument is flawed.”
And I wrote these two responses:
“I have to add that phrase “they’re too lazy to do their research” to those who say “there are two sides to every story.” – Not when the truth is the truth. for example, on my blog, I have posted actual court documents that tell the truth – which was not told in a libelous book that slammed my reputation – and I am continually amazed that the author’s supporters keep saying that the book was her side of the story. If her side of the story is completely different than actual court documents, then it is a lie, a fabrication, and certainly not the truth.
Little trivia like what shoes were worn, exact time, etc. is one thing, but when there are huge discrepencies in two people’s stories, and documented proof is provided, and a third person comes along and doesn’t even look at the proof, then declares that each person’s telling of the tale is their perception, I call that third person lazy.”
So any person who comes to me and tells me that Joan’s book is her perception of what happened is a damn fool. Joan blatantly changed facts around – and facts cannot be changed. She knows damn well that the order of protection she obtained against me in 1993 was for six months, yet she wrote in her book that it was for one year. And it is not the result of faulty memory – she wrote a letter to New York State officials in December 1994 and told them I was sentenced to six months probation. Which I was not – the actual court documents are available on this blog – anyone who fails to do their research and has the nerve to tell ME the FACTS of what I lived through, is a fool. I have in my possession the actual court documents, and I have scanned them on this blog – and they prove that Joan Wheeler is a liar.
Go to this post “here are the court documents that prove that Joan Wheeler is a liar – January 17, 2013 ” to see the court documents that I am talking about – if you are too lazy to go look at them, I have to wonder what kind of fool you are – and what kind of brainless idiot you are that you refuse to even consider that your little buddy Joan Wheeler is a liar and that I, her rotten birth sister just may be telling the truth. You just don’t want to admit that you backed the wrong horse and were made a fool of. That’s your problem, not mine.
A letter I wrote to Joan Wheeler, 10 years before her book came out- warning her not use my name or picture – and the bitch did it anyway. March 26, 2014Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, Disrespect, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity, whining
I just found a gem of a letter that I wrote to Joan in April 1999 – to answer the bitch’s letter to me in February 1999 that my then fiancé (now husband) John got the next door neighbor pregnant. Pay close attention to the paragraph that I highlighted in bold – I told her back in 1999 that she did not have permission to use my name or likeness in her book – 10 years later, in 2009, she may have changed my name, but she left plenty of clues as to my name AND USED MY PICTURE ON THE BACK OF HER BOOK – and that is why her book got pulled from publication.
Ms. Joan Wheeler
1 C Drive,
Kenmore, New York 14223
April 20, 1999,
My Dear Joni,
I think that there a couple of things that need to be clarified. First, the notion that you have that I am wallowing in bitterness and negativity regarding the death of my mother and your existence.
I do not nor have I ever blamed you for Mom’s death. When we found you I was truly happy. And to this day there are times I truly miss you. I miss the good times we had going to the beach, and two or three years ago, when Channel 17 showed a Moody Blues concert I thought that it would have been great watching it with you. I cried because I couldn’t.
I don’t know why you tend to get things mixed up. The first time I called you (the famous “bowling” call), it was at 2 P.M. from a dental office in the Brisbane Building that Gert worked at. It was a Tuesday. The dentist Gert worked for always took Tuesday afternoons off, but Gert had clerical work to do. I was neither drunk, nor panicky when I called you, and I did not end the call with a bunch of giggles. I remember practically every word I said to you as if I had just placed the call five minutes ago.
And yes, I did not take very good care of Mom’s wedding dress in the beginning. But you did not return it by throwing it at my feet and yelling at me. And the year you returned it was 1983, not 1978. And I never got the beads back. So if I originally did not take good care of the dress, you also had a hand in “disrespecting” it.
Where did you get the idea that my grandfather molested and murdered his first born son Richard? Who told you that? If anyone did, they are lying. Richard died of diptheria.
And the idea that my father molested us? Where does this stuff come from? Let me set you straight right here and now, MY FATHER DID NOT MOLEST ME OR MY SISTERS. Kathy kicked him in the balls because that is the most effective place to kick a guy. And that was because Dad stormed into our bedroom with his “Big Daddy” routine. Kathy was getting dressed. She had on slacks and was starting to put on her blouse and yelled at Dad because he saw her in her bra. He yelled back at her “I made you, I can look at you. Now get downstairs and clean up that mess.” Dad was too mad to be thinking about her boobs!
The evening before, our brother Butch was on the phone with his friend George. Kathy came in and wanted to use the phone. Butch said no, cause the last time she said it was important, she ended up calling her girlfriend Pat and told her some new gossip about the Beatles. This time, Butch refused to give up the phone. Kathy reached over and tried to hang up the hook on the wall phone. Butch got up and the next thing you know, the two of them were going at it. John and I were watching from the dining room, George heard it over the phone. Dishes were broken, food ended up on the floor. Then Kathy stormed out of the house. Shortly afterwards, Butch left too, leaving me and John with the mess. Which of course, we did not touch. When Dad came home, we told him what happened and when the guilty parties came home, they were told that they were going to get up the next morning at 6:00 and clean it up. And sure enough, 6:00 the next morning (a Saturday), Dad came upstairs and woke Kathy up. She got up, went to the bathroom and came back upstairs. She was taking her time getting dressed, I could hear Dad downstairs yelling at her to get down there and clean the mess up. I didn’t see him, but Butch tells me that at this point, he was already in the kitchen cleaning. Kathy kept dawdling, Dad was getting madder and madder and that’s when he came up to our room.
Since you were raised as an only child, the above scenario would seem alien to you. But it happens all the time when you get brothers and sisters together. Real life ain’t like The Brady Bunch. I remember our cousins Gail and Norman going at it too! And since I spent so much time there, I was involved in a few brawls with them. One time Aunt Catherine broke in the bathroom door after Gail locked herself in to avoid a thrashing.
It is my understanding that you plan to use my true name and photograph in your book. Well, I am hereby serving you notice that if you do, and you keep that reference of me being drunk when I called, you will be served with a lawsuit for invading my privacy and portraying me as a drunk. You do not nor have ever had my permission to use my name or like ness. And you had better not even of publishing that garbage about my grandfather and father. I don’t like it one bit when I find that strangers are reading that my grand father is a murderer and my father is a molestor. There is no truth to these “speculations” of yours and that is just what they are-speculations of your warped mind.
You were hopping mad when two doctors wrote an article about your daughter’s medical condition in a medical journal, claiming that your privacy was invaded. You want YOUR privacy protected, but what about Gert and Kathy’s privacy? It is up to THEM to tell anyone about their childhood NOT YOU! And what about MY privacy? Who gave you the right to send a “detailed family history” (your version of it) to Commissioner Deborah Merrifield of Social Services? Where was MY privacy when you wrote to the Director of Patient Accounts of Buffalo General Hospital and told him MY personal medical history and MY marital status? What do those two things have to do with YOUR erroneous hospital bill? And where do you get off repeatedly calling my place of employment trying to get me fired? Your phone calls were described to me as “bizarre.” I told everyone, “Of course they’re bizarre, they’re coming from a bizarre person.”
And of course your scheme to break me and John up certainly didn’t work. What did you think to accomplish when you dragged his mother in it? My future mother-in-law sees you for what you are-a trouble-making idiot.
I must hand it to you though, you gave it a good try by calling child abuse on yourself and naming my fiance as the perpetrator, hoping that I would get blamed for the call. Your mistake was that you went overboard by writing letters to the mayor of Buffalo, and other elected officials. I simply sat back and watched you hang yourself. I don’t need to do anything to you, you seem quite capable of digging your own grave.
A relationship of any kind is two-way, not one-way, and that way being YOUR way whether we like it or not. Your attitude has always been, “This is how it will be. Take it or leave it.” And that is exactly what I and so many others have done. We chose not to take it, and left. How many friendships have you destroyed throughout the years? Well, you can add two more to the ever growing list of people who cared about you, had enough of your bullshit and lies, and have broken off their friendship to you. Those being my fiance John and your friend on Balzac Court. No, I did not “badmouth” you, nor did I tell you to put her address on a bullshit letter you sent to my house. You destroyed that friendship all by yourself. Again, you are own worst enemy. And that is the real reason our reunion went sour, not because of some complex psychological feelings of guilt and shame from our dysfunctional childhood, nor feelings of jealousy that you had a secure home growing up while we did not. We simply grew tired of putting up with your rotten behavior. Your behavior is unacceptable and can not and will not be tolerated. Your behavior has cost you the very thing you wanted-your birth family. And don’t try to get yourself off the hook by saying that it wasn’t you who initiated the search, but that it was Gert and me who brought you something you did not want. You had already made the conscious decision when you turned 18, to search for your birth family. You wanted us just as much as we wanted you. It truly is a shame that our lost sister, despite growing up in a stable home environment did not learn the moral values that we did. I am not saying that I’m Miss Goody Two-Shoes. I’ve done a lot of stuff in my life, but nothing compared to your evil plotting, lies, and thefts. I’d bet Shadya is happy that she had to contend with me and Fran and not you. Anything that we did to Shadya pales in comparison to what you have done. We never once called her job and tried to get her fired, or frame her so that she would get arrested or hauled into court on some bullshit “harassment” charges. And we never made off with 900 bucks of hers!
I especially love the time when after I told you in December 1990 that I wanted nothing more to do with you, you had the nerve to call and leave a message on my answering machine saying that money shouldn’t come between sisters. YOU who had only worked a few temporary jobs, and those not very hard ones either are going to lecture ME about MY hard-earned money! I bust my ass at my job. Many times I have to drag myself home on the bus with my feet and back killing me. I have pulled my back out 4 times and in June of 1997, I was out on disability because I was assaulted (kicked in the neck) by a confused patient. And the money you STOLE was not even my money. I had borrowed that money from the credit card, and had to work my ass off to pay it back, going with out a car, because YOU helped yourself to the money to fix YOUR car. When my car broke, I did not have the money to fix it, all my paychecks went to pay back the bank for the borrowed $900.00 you stole. And when dear old Uncle John got laid off, and we did not have the money to pay our electric bill, they shut our electricity off. I called you to beg you for some money-THE MONEY YOU STOLE FROM ME-and you kept hanging up on me, then LIED and said that I hung up on you!
Then used that lie to press bullshit harassment charges on me. This is how you treat your sister that you “love” and your “dear” friend and “uncle” John to your children, a “member of your family.” Remember, HIS electricity was turned off too, and the years we went without a car and could not buy another because I was paying off a debt that I shouldn’t have had to, I was out in the cold waiting for buses too. But you don’t care about that do you? You only care about JONI’S discomfort and JONI’S happiness and to hell with everyone else!
And then you start the bullshit again last month by lovingly informing me that my fiance got my next door neighbor pregnant and they had a baby girl in June 1994. Well, the only two newborns from that house in the past ten years were BOYS. The first, D.J.,born in 1992, looks exactly like his Dad, Danny. The second, Jesse, was born in 1995. I was working the night he was born, and I held him at 5:00 in the morning, just hours after his birth. Charlene and I were oohing and aahing over his little pee-pee. I guarantee, Jesse was a BOY not a girl. Did you really think that John would remain your friend after you told such a lie about him? Open mouth and insert foot, Joni.
I was recently informed that some time ago, you tried to engage a “hitman” to kill me. What a sweet loving sister you are! This is how you show that you love me? In the letters you sent me in the beginning of March you say that you love me, yet you threaten my life? Could this possibly be the reason why I don’t like you? Go ahead, whine some more that me and my sisters don’t like you. To quote you from your letter dated March 1999, “For some reason you don’t like me.” Yeah, I really like people who threaten my life. I’m such a masochist, what can I say? I like people who steal close to $900.00 from me and tell lies about me. NOT!
I have already informed the District Attorney about the threat you made against my life. They can’t do anything at the present time, because it is only hearsay. But they are well aware of your threat, your harassing letters to me and other people, your attitude to various police agencies, and your false claims of having an arrest warrant for our cousin, (????), lies about me being convicted of harassment, of me being placed on probation, and you having an Order of Protection against me. I was NOT convicted or placed on probation. If you’re so smart, provide me with the name of my “probation officer.” You can’t come up with a name because I was never placed on probation. The judge merely told me to leave you alone for six months as a condition of dismissal. I left you alone, and the case against me was summarily dis- missed. The judge did give you an Order of Protection and the district attorney’s office did not like it one bit that YOU called MY house, two months after the judge told me to leave you alone. As usual, Joan does what SHE wants to do. You get the judge to tell me to leave YOU alone, but then you think that you can turn around and call and bother ME.
And since you don’t have an Order of Protection against me, I can drive down any street I want. Who died and left you boss, telling me I can’t drive on certain streets. I don’t know how you or your son “saw” me driving past your house since I did not have a car. I do now, and I’ll drive where I damn well please. Unless you bought the car or pay for the insurance and maintainence, you have no say on where I drive my car.
Oh, by the way, I was investigated by the district attorneys last month in conjunction to my complaint against you. I found out about it from someone I’m close to. I wel- come investigations, because I don’t break the law or make an idiot of myself like you do. I have nothing to hide. If I were you, I’d pray that nothing suspicious ever happens to me or John, because you will be the first person the district attorney will question. In closing let me thank you for providing me with an ad- dress last month that proved very rewarding to me. The gods above are indeed looking out for me. A couple of years after you and Colby made off with the $900, I was still fussing. John’s cousin Chuckie told me “Let it go. You’ll get the money back another way.” And I did. I hit the lottery twice, once with the three digit, and once with the four digit daily numbers for a total of $900.00. I also got a couple of hun- dred dollars from the scratch-off tickets. (I still have the payout receipts). And now, nine years later, I have been rewarded again with two things that I have been wanting a long time. My thanks to you because without the letters you sent me in March, they would not have come to be. YOU pro-vided the means by which I profited.
Goodbye, from your sister who truly does love and miss you, but realizes that your moral values are so different from mine, that we can never have a relationship again. Ruth
ps. I have the guts to put my name on a letter that I write. If you don’t have the courage and honor to sign your name and stand by what you say, then don’t bother saying it. But then again, since it was all a bunch of lies, it’s no wonder you were ashamed to put your name to it. You have proven again and again that you are nothing but a thief and a liar. As to the old saying “How do you sleep at night?” Well, maybe all the “anxiety attacks” that cause you to wake up at night screaming is really your conscience bothering you. I, on theother hand sleep very soundly. And very soundly indeed.
pps. When a “woman professional” (since when, you don’t even have a job, let alone a profession), writes a letter of complaint to a another woman professional, she doesn’t call her a bitch and tell her that she (the recipient of the complaint) almost got slapped in the face. That simply is just not done. It is most unseemly. Oh, now I get your profession! Professional student and welfare slob. You’ve only been going to school for the last twenty years. Your other job must be professional troublemaker and liar.
Now act like the spoiled little brat that you are and call up Daddy and whine: “Daaaddy, Ruth wrote me a leeetter, Daaaddy.” “I”m gonna tell Daddy on you Ruth, NYAH, NYAH” To quote you: “ACT YOUR AGE!”
Go ahead, whine some more at me “you don’t like me.”
NOTE from Gert…
see my post about letter exchange I had with Joan
Lesson for Joan Wheeler – lying about people won’t make you happy. February 7, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, LIBEL, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths
It’s impossible to build one’s own happiness on the unhappiness of others.
So true. So what did you think to accomplish when you published that filthy book full of lies Joan? Yes, you accomplished SOMETHING – you hurt me again and again. Every time I turned a page and read another filthy lie about me – I actually was walking in circles in my kitchen crying when I read your twisting of facts, your put-downs of me being a prospective mother, your disgusting stabbing me in the back twenty years after I got over the initial anger of your dirty deeds to me –
BUT what else did it get you? Your biggest dream (actually an unrealistic fantasy) was that your book was going to be a million dollar best seller and either a TV movie or a Hollywood blockbuster book was going to made of your book – and you would be set for life.
And because you blatantly lied about events in MY life – and I had documented proof of those lies (actual police and court documents, your own harassing letters to me and the envelopes they came in) – YOUR LIES WERE EXPOSED.
Proof of your lies – libel – was sent to the publisher and your book was pulled.
You said once on an internet forum, about two years, ago, that you “wasted 30 years of my life writing a book.” That’s right honey, you did. But you got part of that wrong – you didn’t waste 30 years of your life writing a book – you wasted 30 years of your life TRYING TO KILL OTHER PEOPLE’S HAPPINESS!
What did you think to accomplish when you were harassing me? Did you honestly think my relationship with John would go down the tubes when you sent that lying letter to me saying he got the next door neighbor pregnant? What really happened is that when I showed him the letter – he was disgusted with you. You always claimed you honored him as friend. HA! Well that’s one friend who hates you now.
What did you think to accomplish when you repeatedly called my job in 1994-95 with false accusations of me? And did it again in November 2012? Did you really think I would get fired? – HA! Not only was I NOT fired (because I am innocent of your bullshit lies), but my job now knows you as a freak – a crackpot who has nothing better to do with her time than lie about innocent people.
One other thing that was accomplished Joan – when the truth of your lies were exposed by this blog and Gert’s blog – YOUR REPUTATION IN THE ADOPTION REFORM ACTIVIST COMMUNITY IS NOW SEVERELY COMPROMISED.
And you have only yourself to blame. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you pick up the phone and call my job. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you sent me that lying letter about John. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you type out all those lies in your book.
YOU DID ALL THAT BY YOURSELF. ARE YOU HAPPY JOAN? NO? aww, too bad.
Gert here…yep…Joan’s lies and dirty deeds have become apparent to even those in the adoption reform movement! TRUTH always out wins lies! Joan should have learned how to ‘bury the bodies’ when she decided to KILL HER KIN FOLK! Oh sure, she led a great charge against her kin, when we first learned of her, 30 years in the making, masterpiece! Where’s all those angry adoptees today? Not by Joan’s side. There been a couple of new books on the adoption topics these days and none of them INCLUDE Joan Wheeler! Even the most vocal of the activists do not want to share the printed venue with Joan! She’s now trying to break into a new field…online therapy! Yep! good luck on that!
Gert here again… I was just reading some blog posts and found a comment that Joan left about Joe Soll! Okay Joe just FOUND his mother! Great news, that’s nice for him, but Joan, takes any opportunity for someone else’s spot light to pour out her bullshit that means nothing! In that lying book Joan wrote she USED Joe Soll. I had email exchange with the man and he DENIED what she wrote in the book, we have blogged about this…YET Joan acts as if she is CLEAN… here’s the comment she left…with ALL HER usual misspellings, she can’t even honor her friends with checking her spelling! Her sweetness makes me want to puke! Anyone who can do shit, like she did to her own KIN, and then speak false sweetness and false ‘peace’ to strangers, only proves to the world what a fool she is.
@forbiddenfamily · 2 weeks ago Back then, in the late 80s, Jow began organizing the Marches on Washington. I was there fro three of them. Saddens me that he could have met his mother at the time. So sorry for that loss. But very happy indeed for the wonderful news of NOW! releived for the man who helped so many of us. Knowing you, dear friend, has meant so much for me. May you now know some inner peace.
and have you ever noticed that Joan always talks about the 70s, 80s, 90s she is a HAS BEEN! She has DONE NOTHING IN RECENT HISTORY or currently, cause she’s a liar!
In this post – we show Mr. Joe Soll’s email to Gert, in which he says “I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/”
AdoptionHealing.com – AdoptionCrossroads.org – EvilExchange.com” To: Gert Mcqueen Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM Subject: Re: fact finding request, please I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.
here is Joe’s entire email, in which he had copied and pasted Gert’s question and provided an answer:
From: “Joe Soll, LCSW – AdoptionHealing.com – AdoptionCrossroads.org – EvilExchange.com” To: Gert Mcqueen
Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM Subject: Re: fact finding request, please
I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.
Also, in her book, Joan relays a phone conversation with you, pg 311, regarding these alleged letters in which she writes that you did indeed receive them and that you had spoken with Joan about them
(Joe answers): This is patently false.
If you do not have access to her book, but wish to see the pages I am referring, I would gladly snail you copies if you would provide me an address. My sisters and I would greatly apprecitate it if you could shed light on this for us and yourself.
(Joe answers): I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/
Feel free to contact me further
Be well, 조살
So, MISS BIG-SHOT ADOPTION REFORMER JOAN WHEELER, WHO FANTASIZED THAT HER BOOK WAS GOING TO BE A REVOLUTION IN THE ADOPTION REFORM COMMUNITY DOESN’T EVEN GET HER BOOK SEEN BY ONE OF THOSE ADOPTION EXPERTS!
to reiterate what Mr. Joe Soll said about her book:
“I do not need to see the book,”
that means, that when he sent that email, May 2010, he had not seen the book yet, nor would he ever, because he was made aware that Joan LIED about him in the book. And he will NEVER see it, because it is dead – having been pulled from publication because of the LIES Joan put in it.
Joan Wheeler goes from manic state to depressive state awful fast over her latest FAILED romance. December 31, 2013Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental instability, passing assumptions off as truth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, whining
Joan Wheeler goes from manic state to depressive state awful fast over her latest FAILED romance. – all information and quotes are from what Joan Wheeler herself has put out on public internet for all to see. remember – if you don’t want people to read it – don’t put it on the internet.
SEE END OF THIS POST FOR UPDATED INFO
In a mess that SHE herself created, Joan first rants and raves about a guy she met at a bar back in June 2013. Within two weeks, marriage plans are made. What stupid idiot meets a guy and within two weeks makes plans to marry this total stranger? Joan Wheeler, that’s who. So she goes to New Mexico with the guy in August and the truth comes out. He’s an alcoholic (so is Joan, but she won’t say so in conjuction with this stuff – but did admit to it in her book), he got caught driving drunk and was thrown in jail for 30 days, (my, my, my), his family decided to do some background checking on Joan (wise move considering we’ve got two people who within 2 weeks of meeting want to get married – doesn’t matter if he’s 63 and she’s 57 – they are both thinking like 13 year olds), the family apparently googled her, came to this blog and saw the truth about her – then so did he. Apparently there were words between everybody, and Joan came home, and cried all through September.
Last week, her website got a hit from New Mexico. Never mind that there are tons of people living in New Mexico and any one of them could have gone to her website, and never mind that Gert has personal friends living in New Mexico and it could have been them – Joan sees the hit, ASS-umes that it’s the boyfriend and/or his family and goes off on a bitch fest – a real rockin’ psychopathic rant! Insults the guy – mocking him for his PTSD (and using the tired old stereotype of the crazy Vietnam Veteran – for shame, Joan) AND DRAGS ME AND GERT IN ON IT. (but she’s always bitching that we won’t stay out of her life – and when we are not – she drags us into it!). I say ASS-ume because when you assume something without real evidence, all you do is make an ASS out of yourself – which is what Joan does all the time. She sees or reads something, and right away ASS-umes things about people.
Here are blog posts that Gert and I did about this mess that Joan HERSELF created:
SOOOO after all that ranting and our blogging, Joan read Gert’s blog and sees Gert’s statement: “DOES Joan have any positive things going into her life? She never tells us anything that is positive in what she does. Nothing about good eating, sleeping, exercise, meditations, readings, etc…she boring! Once in a while is posts some feel good quote, but she doesn’t live it!”
And knowing that Gert takes Zumba classes (my, are we STALKING Gert now, Joan?) Joan all of a sudden says that she’s “getting healthy, being more positive, is thankful for her female friends and taking Zumba classes).
In the evening of December 30, 2013, she’s on the downside of manic depression – she’s on a downer, and lamenting the loss of her latest romance. I didn’t see the garbage until I woke up about 11:30am December 31, 2013. The time frame that Joan wrote her latest stuff – I was busy with my life – doing housework, then watching the special features on the DVD of John Carpenter’s The Fog. (btw, Joan put me down in her book because I collect movies. So? Who the hell is she to comment on how I spend my $$ or my life? She does so, because her life is so miserable, she looks at me and sees my full life, and she can’t have it, so must debase it).
And I can comment on Joan’s life and this mess because SHE DRAGGED ME INTO IT. SHE DELIBRATELY WROTE A TWEET ABOUT THIS FUCKED UP SITUATION THAT CONTAINED A REFERENCE TO HER BIRTH SISTERS (me and Gert). Therefore, we EARNED the right to write about it.
So I get up and meander over to twitter to see what’s up with a couple of tweets I had exchanged with Luke Evans (Bard the Bowman) – o gods! not only is Ruth collecting movies, she’s communicating with people who are acting in them! Quick now! Get the noose and string Ruth up!
So I see what Joan writes and I wanted to puke. I then go over to facebook and see that Gert also had seen it and this is what we say about the pukey shit:
facebook exchanges: from Gert to Ruth Herr Sippel Pace the idiot is crying in her beer…around midnight she says..
Deep pain in knowing it is over. My love. New Year will be better for us both. I release you, my love. Good bye my Darling. May you find your true love. She lies within. I move on
after all that ranting and raving and saying she’s DONE and getting on with her life and he was a loser…this is so typical of Joan Wheeler!
from Gert Mcqueen so I added a comment on the blog post and incorporated Ruth’s comment and mine into the body of that post and retweeted it…I can’t believe it, YES I can cause this is HOW joan operates, she doesn’t get her way, she throws fits, gets kicked in the face, bitches and screams cause no one loves her, she rants and raves that they are bad and mean to her, then she gets sympathy from others and says oh I’m ok and then in the dark of the night she crys for what she lost asshole
from Ruth Herr Sippel Pace omy god I want to puke with the saccharine fakeness of it all.
and notice now how she’s going out of her way to list different world cultural dances that she’s learning in Zumba class. She’s reacing out to her birthsisters again, albeit in a round-about way. As you noted yesterday, how she’s obviously reading the blogs – after bitching and raving, her tweets turn 180 degrees on how she’s getting healthy and going to Zumba – a clear IMITATION of you. Now, the “world culture” dances – a clear imitation of ME. Because of my past experiences of being a Middle East (belly dancer). She never cared about dance before – only her Native American dances she did as a teenager and in early 20s. And don’t forget – she put me down in her book FOR being interested in the Arab culture. Now SHE is “embracing” other cultures. What a fucking hypocrite!
she goes from calling him a “stalking obsessed creep” to ” My love. New Year will be better for us both. I release you, my love. Good bye my Darling. May you find your true love. She lies within. I move on” – she said she “moved on” the other day – if that was so – she shouldn’t be going back to write this stupid shit.
Gert Mcqueen yep…I WAS DOING zumba 3 years ago! I had to stop due to medicals reasons and turned to biking instead…but I NEVER mentioned that ONLY my yoga, bike, gym…which she NEVER picked up until just now BECAUSE I made a point of saying she’s boring, unhealthy and never speaks about what good in her life. And if she loved native dance WHY hasn’t she been doing it all along? If you love something, you DO IT. she only talked about it because of the SUGAR DADDY like I said, she was crying in her beer…that’s what she does…she can’t get her way, throws a fit, the other person tells her get lost, she gets insulted, finds things to bitch about and then says she’s done with them, and then when the night is dark and she’s alone she laments her LOSS that she created.
end of facebook exchange.
I am not only wanting to puke, but I see the hypocrisy of it all – having been dragged over the coals in her book for MY interest in other ethnic music and dance – to see this bitch now saying it’s the best thing in HER life! As I said above – she looks at her miserable life, finds it lacking, then looks at MY life, debases it – YET COPIES ME! And Gert!
Now I want to examine this statement made by Gert: “then she gets sympathy from others and says oh I’m ok and then in the dark of the night she crys for what she lost asshole” – when she was ranting and bitching about the boyfriend on Twitter, she made statements that she was “afraid of him.” “leave me alone.” called him a “stalking creep” “obsessive” – and a twitter friend of hers up in Toronto says, “been reading your feed, are you okay?” this lady sees what Joan writes and becomes genuinely concerned for Joan’s safety! And what does Joan say? “oh, I’m all right. He’s 2500 miles away.”
WHAT THE FUCK? If she’s “all right” and he’s “2500 miles away” WHY IS SHE WRITING THAT SHE IS AFRAID OF HIM? This is what she does – she EXAGERATES things and puts her whiny little “woe is me, poor, poor pitiful me” routine and manipulates people into feeling sorry for her. So LOOK at what she said about the guy – she’s afraid of him, he’s a stalking, obsessive, alcoholic drunk driver, and he’s coming to get her. – and chances are – he’s probably a sweet guy with a drinking problem. But according to Joan – he’s a monster. AND THIS IS WHY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT ME AND GERT ARE BITCHES – BECAUSE THEY READ JOAN’S SHIT AND BECAUSE SHE’S A MASTER MANIPULATER AND LIAR – AND SHE CAN TURN THE TEARS ON AND OFF – THEY CAN’T BELIEVE THAT HER CRYING IS ONLY AN ACT! – People – she’s a socio-path and knows how to turn the waterworks on. And before anybody recommends that she call the police – please – The Town of Tonawanda (where she lives) already are aware of her and her antics.
Before anybody condemns me for “putting down the mentally ill” and lectures me that I “should have compassion,” – been there, done that. Unless you have been the harassed victim of a mentally ill person – you will not understand. see the home page of this blog. and the page What is Demanded of Joan Wheeler.
Don’t judge me for my anger of Joan Wheeler – until you know all the facts and the hell she has put me through and is STILL doing it – by harassing me by calling my employer a year ago with false accusations designed to get me fired – and just the other day by daring to drag me into her fucked up love life.
And again, we see a mess that Joan herself created. Gert and I had nothing to do with this latest boyfriend, yet Joan drags us into it. So we gave it right back to her. We didn’t start it, but we damn sure finished it. We didn’t ask to be in it, but once we were in it – we went all out. And the mess is all on Joan – I don’t want to hear a word from her that we “interfered” with this shit – IT WAS JOAN HERSELF WHO BROUGHT US INTO IT!
1. gertmcqueen –
Gert here…Perfect assessment of the conditions that Joan does to herself and everyone. There’s nothing more for me to say, but…this is the real Joan Wheeler and if you don’t believe us…get in a REAL PERSONAL relationship with her, NOT on the internet, BUT IN REAL TIME AND PLACE, interact with her in the FLESH and within 2 months you will KNOW.
UPDATE January 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version.
end of update info
Joan Wheeler mocks infertility, and her own sister’s miscarriage September 12, 2012Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, contradictions, Disrespect, emotional abuse, hatred of infertile women, religious intolerance
I placed a comment on my sister Gert’s latest blogpost “Is infertility, by nature or by force, any reason to adopt? or is it a reason for mockery, by Joan Wheeler?”
But I also want to place it here, in it’s own post. Gert brings up the subject of how angry adoptees want everyone to feel sorry for their pain, yet those same angry adoptees don’t give a damn about anyone else’s pain. They actually MOCK people’s pain. And Joan jumps right on board the mockery train. here is my comment:
Joan routinely slams people’s religions – slams people’s choices in life. In her book, she slams poor people (yet laments she’s poor – oh that makes sense), slams people living on Buffalo’s East Side (even though she lived there too). All she ever does is MOCK people for this, for that, for ANYTHING! Then she wonders why NObody ever takes her seriously and runs the hell the away from her.
I myself am an infertile woman, and was on the receiving end of condesending remarks by Joan – LESS THAN A YEAR AFTER I MISCARRIED MY SON. We were on the phone in May 1987 (I know the month and year – I was packing, moving into the house I live in now). She had just gotten back from one her adoption conferences and started talking about infertility. I told her that I did not want to talk about. I was still greiving my son, who I lost after years of trying to get pregnant. She ignored my request and kept right on talking. I told her again. She ignored me again. I told a third time, a fourth time. She kept right on running her mouth and then made the statement: “I know more about infertility than you think I do.” I slammed the phone down and burst into tears.
What does she know about infertility? Book statistics? Listening to other people? Yeah, Joan knows ABOUT infertitly, but does not know the PAIN of infertility.
Come on Joan, tell the world how your rotten birth sisters never took the time to “understand” you, but don’t tell the world how you stab them in the back and more cruelly, stab them in the heart.
This rotten statement to me was made in 1987, and then in her book published in 2009, Joan continues to mock my infertility and miscarriage. She writes “at one point she (me) CLAIMED to want to have children,” – even though in 1983, while she was pregnant with her first child, Joan borrowed my books on pregnancy, breastfeeding, baby care. Why would I have those books if I merely CLAIMED to want children. But elsewhere in the book, she says that I was going to a fertility clinic. I never went to a fertility clinic (does she never do any RESEARCH?) – But that’s not the point – the point is – she contradicts herself. If I merely had CLAIMED to want to get pregnant, then why would I be at a fertility clinic?
Then she mocks me further in her book, because I made a rhetorical question “I don’t know how you find time to raise your kids and do all your writing?” Joan mocks me because I do a lot reading, and watch horror movies. Then she writes, “It’s just as well she didn’t get pregnant.”
Way to go Joan. Slam me, slam my dead son. Slam my infertility. Slam my life choices in recreation. Then slam me some more because I never took the time to “understand you.” Oh – go to hell Joan.
Why does Joan Wheeler write about the childhoods of her birth siblings, but never about her own childhood? What is she hiding? September 7, 2012Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths
In my last post “Why must Joan Wheeler continue to tell lies about her birth family?” ,I left the following comment:
I know what MY life is and was – Joan was NOT there! She knows NOTHING about my life. And I have a dam good memory! I have what is called an eidetic memory – that means I remember things in details. I can remember colors, smells, actual words, the weather, I remember events like my father walking me to Sacred Heart School for a Halloween party – which must have been Halloween 1958. I remember the Christmas party in Sacred Heart’s downstairs gymnasium, around 1958 as well – I actually remember eating a tangerine and walnuts! I remember the Halloween party at the orphanage 1959 – I remember the black and orange crepe paper draping from the cieling, and bobbing for apples. I remember the school year recital at the orpanage where me and my brother Butch tapdanced to the tune of – well I don’t know the title of the song but it went “H-A-Double R -I, G-A-N spells Harrigan.” I remember seeing the 7th Voyage of Sinbad in the auditorium of the orphanage, a first run film, for the kids at the orphan home! I remember bringing home the living room lamps with my stepmother and stepbrother. She carried the lamps – decorated with antique cars, and me and John each carried a shade. We got them from the S+H green stamp redemption center on the fifth floor of downtown’s Hens + Kelly store.
And in the body of my post, to dispel the lies that Joan writes about how “poor” we were as children, I list some of the many toys we had when we were little.
And I just had a thought – Why is Joan Wheeler constantly writing about MY childhood (lies or not) – and NEVER WRITES ABOUT HER OWN CHILDHOOD!
She’s always whining that we birth sisters of her, NEVER TOOK THE TIME TO UNDERSTAND HER. Well, how could we – she NEVER TOLD US ABOUT HER CHILDHOOD. I haven’t the slightest idea of what toys she had when she was a kid. Or what tv shows she watched when she was little. Even back in the 70’s, when we were first reunited with her and we were getting to know each other. – Oh, she told us how she loved The Beatles, Star Trek, Ancient Egypt, art and loved Native American dances. BUT SHE NEVER TALKED ABOUT HER EARLY CHILDHOOD. She never told us where in their living room the Christmas tree was placed. What toys were put there.
Did she ever go to the circus? Ice Capades? (my dad took me to Ice Capades all the time). What movies did she go see? My stepmother took me and my brother and stepbrother to see science fiction and monster movies, and I well remember my dad taking me to see Fantasia. Snow White, Bambi, Cinderella. My dad could talk like Donald Duck and get out the word “yep” in a belch. Didn’t Joan’s parents take her places and do silly stuff like that?
The only time she described an outing in her book was the time when she was 10 years old and went to Crystal Beach and my Aunt Catherine happened to be there with my 10 year old cousin Gail. And Joan had to turn into a hate fest against adoption and the cousin who withheld “secrets” from her – even though the cousin was a 10 year old kid herself and didn’t know who the hell Joan was!
So now Joan – here’s your chance for us to “understand” you – why don’t you write what happened to you when you were a little kid that screwed you up so dam much that you turned into a lying evil person? Come on – out with it.
- 1. gertmcqueen – September 7, 2012
Again RIGHT ON,
She does NOT want to talk about her childhood, because that is when she was abused and that is WHY she hates adoption because she blames her life of abuse on adoption! She has a fixation with her birthsibling’s lives because she doesn’t have one of her own, to her mind she was created in the imagine of what the adoptive parents wanted. Well guess what…most parents mold and guide their children to be what the parent feels are best for them, some better than others of course, but, Joan always had the OPTION, when she became of age to LEAVE HOME AND LIVE HER LIFE THE WAY SHE WANTED.
She always talks about being raised as a only child and was spoiled rotten, but never gives details. All she ever says is that she was LIED to by the adoptive parents.
So she stayed at home, with adoptive parents after being found by birth family, she was still in high school but was legal age of 18! She then went to college, paid for by those people who lied to her, when she first went out on her own, those same liars paid her rent and food etc, when she married, those same liars, the adoptive parents, gave her thousands of dollars for a wedding gift! and all kinds of help. Oh the father died in the early 80s so it was just that lying adoptive mother that continue to take care of Joan and Joan just kept taking the money etc, And then after not being able to make it on her own, Joan MOVES BACK INTO the childhood home with that lying mother! Where Joan still lives in her CHILDHOOD HOME.
So yes, what the hell was her childhood like? Obviously, she and that mother could NOT live apart from each other, even has they went after each other. There is no other rational explanation for Joan’s negative hate and anger against adoption ….she was abused, BEFORE she was found by the birth family and that is why she hates us. Joan really needs to confront her abuse as a child and leave adoption and the birth family alone.
Joan Wheeler tells her tale of woe AGAIN. yawn, yawn, big, big yawn – OH WAIT! SHE CHANGES THE STORY OF HER BAPTISM! August 18, 2012Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, contradictions, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths
IMPORTANT UPDATE – AUGUST 19, 2012, 2:30 pm:
It seems that Joan WAS telling the truth about her baptism. Here is the following exchange from facebook:
Richard L. Herr Girl’s that part is true. That is how it happend.
Richard L. Herr All I can tell you is she was baptised in the hospital room with Aunt Anne, me as her godparents. I understand she was baptized again after that when your Dad took her away from us.RUTH HERE – Richard Herr is Joan’s godfather. – so why didn’t Joan tell the full story in the first place? And why did she end up telling THREE different versions of it?And this is the trouble when you tell stories that are different from the actual facts, or outright lies – like the story of the Boy Who Cried Wolf, Joan has published so many lies, fabrications and twisting of facts, that when she does tell the truth, nobody believes her.Thank you Uncle Rich for setting the record straight. —-Gert here now…thank you Uncle Rich for telling me what happened;two baptismal ceremonies and then removed from godparents care and placed with the adopted parents, who then did their own ceremonies.Joan never tells the same story twice and this is where the core problems lie, plus she repeats things she heard or learned from the adopted parents that were untrue and based on their own fears.As I just said to Uncle Rich…why doesn’t Joan stop, it is not helping our mother’s spirt.For Joan to constantly invoke our mother’s spirit to the entire world and make up several versions of a very tragic event, robs that mother of PEACE IN DEATH. Joan really needs to have her tongue cut out!okay, back to my original post:
On the New York Times site is an article on adoption and there is Joan again telling her tale of woe – at first I sort of just pooh-poohed it – but then I took a second look and saw SHE CHANGES THE FACTS AGAIN! Previously, on various internet sites, via comments, she has reported that it was “a nurse in the hospital who brought the baby to her mother’s room.” Then it was changed to a “Protestant nurse who brought the baby to her mother’s room.” NOW it’s her godparents AND a priest who brought her to mom’s hospital room and she received the Holy Sacrement of Baptism! But she says NOTHING about any of these three scenarios in her all-truthful book!
After I read her latest whine of woe and changing of the facts, I knew I had to answer!
Aug. 17, 2012 at 3:38 a.m.
..My adoption became final one year and one week after my birth. Within the following three months, the government confiscated my birth certificate and placed it under seal, never to be opened, forever. Paperwork was sent 400 miles away from Surrogate’s Court in the city of my birth to the State Capital where all birth certificates created for NYS adoptees are made and filed. One year and three months after I was born, the Registrar of Vital Statistics set forth a new birth certificate in my new adoptive name, naming my new parents as my parents by birth, naming my hospital of birth, the time of my birth, and stating that I was a “single” birth and not a twin or a triplet. The Registrar then signed his name and affixed the raised State seal to this new birth certificate certifying that the facts stated were true. He lied. He knowingly created a false government document. He committed fraud and perjury as lying under oath is a crime. But, it was God’s will. It was destiny. He just had to do it since it was God’s Plan.
..Three and a half years later, (after my adoption) when my adoptive parents wanted a new baptismal certificate for me in the name they had given me, they asked their lawyer to do something. He did. He requested that the parish that performed my baptism in 1956 issue a new, amended, baptismal certificate in my adoptive name so that I could go to Catholic Schools and receive the rest of the Catholic sacraments. The parish pastor created a new baptismal certificate that stated that I, in my legal adopted name, was baptized on the date of my actual baptism in 1956, he named my adoptive parents, named my godparents who were my deceased mother’s brother and his wife, and then issued the new baptismal certificate in May of 1959. This Pastor knowingly issued a falsified baptismal certificate, yet he, being a representative of God, committed a sin by signing his name in witness and testimony that all the information was true as taken from Official Records of that parish church.
This is not God’s Will, nor is it Destiny. This is lying. By a priest.
…It was God’s will and His Plan for my widowed father that he relinquish me, his fifth child, born in January of 1956, to be raised the only child of my adoptive parents. Yes, it is destiny that my mother was dying while pregnant with me and her only purpose was to stay alive long enough for me to be born. But she lingered for three more months.
…I was taken to my dying mother’s bedside where my godparents, a priest, and my mother witnessed the Holy Sacrament of Baptism. I was Baptized under my legal and religious name, recognized by Jesus Christ himself, while my father was at home with his four older children. Three weeks later, his wife, and our mother, died.
The priest said to our father, “The baby needs two parents.” At the funeral parlor, a woman came up to my father and said, “I know someone who will take your baby.” So, my father, being the obedient Catholic that he was, took the priest’s words to heart. A woman who knew his deceased wife came to pay her respects. It must surely be God’s will, it must surely be destiny, that this woman appeared to my father at the exact moment that his newborn daughter needed a new family because, after all, the priest said that the baby needed two parents. And so it came to pass that my father handed me over to my pre-adoptive parents nearly one month after my mother’s death.
Adoption, Destiny and Magical Thinking is certainly an appropriate title to describe HalfOrphan56’s way of thinking. I am a birth sister of H.O56. HO56 likes to put her own spin on the facts of her adoption and other things. And everytime she tells the story, she changes things. One time she told the story of her baptism, it was simply a nurse who did the “baptism.” Another time it was a Protestant nurse. (on different internet sites). Now she says that she was taken to her dying mother’s bedside where she received the Holy Sacrament of Baptism with her godparents and a priest in attendance. NO, she was baptized on March 4, 1956 in Sacred Heart Church. My oldest sister remembers seeing the infant lying on my grandparent’s bed – they lived only a few blocks from the church.
As to her adoption – yes, my mother got sick while pregnant and went into the hospital late December 1955. On January 7, she miscarried the baby, who was placed in an incubator and discharged from the hospital 6 weeks later. That baby was HO56, who went home with my uncle, her godfather. My father had 4 other children to look after – his parents were elderly.
My mother’s sister Catherine grew up and remain friends with Helen. Helen’s brother and his wife couldn’t have children. She did approach my father with the suggestion that he let these people adopt the baby.
It was NOT at the funeral home. AND my father then consulted his parish priest. NO priest approached him at the funeral home. In April 1956, the baby was given to the adoptive parents. The final papers were signed by my father in January 1957, giving him ample time to think things over further and reconsider. That he stood by his initial decision shows that he was hardly coerced or taken advantage of while grieving.
In 1956, there were no daycare centers or welfare system as we know it today. My father made a painful decision with the circumstances he had to work with. There was NO kiinship solving available. HO56 refuses to accept this fact, and because she refuses to accept that fact, has many “issues.” One is that only 6 years after being reunited with her birth family, she was actually kicked out of the family – due to her harassments and other wrongful actions.
In November 2009, she self-published her book Forbidden Family, which contained many lies about me and other members of our family.My oldest sister and I compiled a list of the slanders contained in the book and made a formal complaint to the publisher. They carefully read our complaint and the book and agreed that HO56 violated her contract with them – no slander, no hate speech, copyright infringement. Their legal department pulled the book from publication in May 2011.
My sister and I have two blogs regarding this libelous book, HO56’s blog, and her lies about us and our family on various internet sites.
The are: Refuting a Book of Lies – Forbidden Family at:https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/ and Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor at: http://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/
here read this sentance again:
“…I was taken to my dying mother’s bedside where my godparents, a priest, and my mother witnessed the Holy Sacrament of Baptism.”
take notice how Joan says “a priest…witnessed the Holy Sacrament of Baptism.”
She doesn’t say that the priest PERFORMED the sacrement, but that he WITNESSED it.
Joan, Joan, Joan, STICK TO THE TRUTH AND YOU WON’T MAKE THESE KINDS OF STUPID MISTAKES! – jackass!