Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, delusional thinking, elder abuse, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, trying to pass fantasy off as truth, twisting the truth to make an innocent person appear guilty, verbal abuse
by Ruth Pace
I was listening to an old motivational tape of mine and stumbled upon the following. It is from a tape that I had labeled “Living Without Limits.” I didn’t write down the speaker’s name, but I think it might be Dr. Wayne Dyer. I transcribed the part of the lecture that I thought is very pertinent to this problematic person Joan Wheeler, who doesn’t seem to differentiate between reality/truth and fantasy/lies. Here is the transciption of the lecture:
And now for the first component of living without limits which could very well be described as the foundation for survival itself, and that is, REALITY.
Now what exactly do I mean by reality? I don’t want to be misunderstood here. Well my definition of reality is very simple and straightforward. Reality isn’t the way you wish things to be or the way they appear to be but the way they actually are.
Now by the way you wish things to be, I’m referring to the constant struggle that takes place within each of us between the real and the ideal. Between reality and what we would like reality to be. And it’s absolutely imperative that you learn to differentiate between the two.
Reality is Truth. And unfortunately the real problem is that most people do not love Truth. But instead they try to make true that which they love. They have it backwards.
As Robert De Ropp says in his fascinating book “The Master Game,” “Man inhabits a world of delusions. And because of these delusions, makes dangers for himself and others.”
Reminds me of Ashleigh Brilliant, the great humorist, some of you may be familiar with, who once remarked, “I have abandoned my search for truth and am now looking for a good fantasy.”
Seriously, I totally agree with DeRopp, I think self-delusion is probably the chief cause of most unhappiness in the world today.
In my comment to my last post, I refer to Joan’s cyberbullying page, where she has posted lies about me and my sisters. Some of them twisting of the facts. For example she has posted on that site, that I got her phone number from my father – yes I did. On November 3, 2009 – because my then 85 year old father was tired and I calledJoan AS A FAVOR to tell her that a family member died. On the phone Joan subjected me to a barrage of yelling obscentities that even her daughter (who in an email exchange via myspace the next day, came running down the stairs to see what her mother was screaming about).
So here is some info: “Doris Ohl was born June 05, 1919 in Buffalo, Erie, NY, and died October 31, 2009 in Silver Creek, NY. She married (1) Michael W. Herr in Buffalo, Erie, NY, son of Jacob Grant Herr and Gertrude H. Stoll. She married (2) Lou LoManto.”
Doris and Michael were Joan’s original godparents, and Joan Wheeler’s original name was Doris Michol Sippel. (None of this information is private, Joan plasters this all over the internet, and the info on Doris was taken from an online internet family tree.
Addendum: July 16, 3:00am, ok, I was doing research – do you know that hotmail saves EVERY email you send? So I found the original email from my Uncle. —
From: To: Subject: RE: Aunt Doris
Date: Tue, 3 Nov 2009 08:39:56 +0000
Hi Uncle Rich
thank you forwarding this to me. Can you send me Wayne’s email so I can send him my condolences?
Everything is going fine. I had a small vacation, which I used for housework. lol. all the stuff you never seem to get to, like getting behind furniture and degreasing cabinets. Also had to clean out the utility room. got a new washing machine, the old one went kaput. I found some missing socks amidst the dust bunnys back there. lol.
Date: Sun, 1 Nov 2009 08:33:33 -0500
From: To: Subject: Fw: Aunt Doris
Received this from Wayne about his Mother (Uncle Mikes first Wife.)
Dad, Opa and Uncle Rich
From: Wayne D Herr
Sent: Nov 1, 2009 7:57 AM
To: silverdick1 .. judy , Richard Herr
We spent a very hard week this week, but last night @ 9:45pm Mom pasted after a very hard week for her. I believe she is happy now, she was ready. Eileen and I were with her so she did not have to die alone. This past sunday she told me she was going to see Edmund and she might even talk to Michael. Thank you for your prayers.
Joan’s self-delusions and the facts are that Joan cannot accept the REALITY and the TRUTH that her “mean and nasty” sister Ruth couldn’t possibly call her on the phone for the simple reason of doing her father (and Joan) a FAVOR. Further, she cannot STAND for the TRUTH of the phone call to be made public. Instead, Joan twists the FACTS of the event of November 3, 2009 and reports it on the internet that I called her as an act of harassment.
The phone call was made by ME, around 5pm. Later that evening, around 10pm, I emailed my niece, Joan’s daughter via myspace. We were myspace buddies and facebook buddies at the time. Here is the transcription of the email exchange between her and me, and the graphics are the actual screen shots of that exchange that I captured on July 14, 2011. I also have included a screen shot of Joan’s blog (also captured on July 14, 2011, that shows Joan’s version of the phone call. Notice she says really nothing about the phone call. Because deep down, she knows the TRUTH about that phone call – that I obtained the phone number from a tired 85 year old man, as A FAVOR TO BOTH HIM AND JOAN to let Joan know that her original godmother and namesake had died. AND Joan fails to tell everyone HER subsequent actions! After screaming obscenities at me, subjecting me to verbal emotional abuse, she then called my father and SCREAMED AT HIM – AN 85 YEAR OLD MAN, WHO WAS NOT FEELING WELL THAT DAY! That is called ELDER ABUSE! And of course, Joan doesn’t tell what happened when SHE made an abusive phone call to an elderly man – that the call was terminated when the tired elderly man HUNG UP ON HER!
So why isn’t the COMPLETE TRUTH about that phone call of November 3, 2009 published on Joan’s blog? Because she doesn’t want to tell the truth – she always presents HER twisted version of the truth – she wants people to think that I, Ruth Pace am a bitch, and all I do is harass her by getting her phone number from relatives and call her up and bother her. But Joan can whine on a forum that when another relative died, she wasn’t notified – well, because when she was notified of a relative’s passing, she went all f’ing crazy! Who does Joan thinks she is? That she can treat people like dirt and they have to accept it? This is why Joan is an outsider – she has no family – either birth or adoptive – BECAUSE SHE HAS ALWAYS TREATED US LIKE DIRT.
So here is the transcript of the myspace email:
Nov 3, 2009 RE: something happened today
Ladymoondancer ~ saysTo: *~*~They call me Cat, Kit… (@myspacecom) I got an email, (from a relative)that my Uncle Mike’s first wife Doris died on Saturday, Oct. 31. Uncle Mike and Aunt Doris were your mom’s original godparents and she was named for them (Doris Michol).
so I thought she should know about it. I called the old number but it was disconnected so I called my father and he gave me your mom’s number. So I called her. She asked how I got the number. I told her. She said “Big mistake.” then she said she didn’t want any contact from me. Fair enough I thought. She was calm at this point, but then she said tersely, “Thank you for telling me about Aunt Doris, but I do not want to hear from you. My mother is dying.” (I have heard this, and I felt bad, I thought, shit, this is bad getting bad news now and all.
But then you mom said, “She (her mom) does not want to hear from you.” (I was not calling for her). Then your mom started screaming about her sisters. She said that I threw her out of the family.
Cathy, I just sat there staring at my computer screen. I was in shock. She was screaming so hard I could not understand what she was saying. I did hear “you are not my sister.” She was ranting and raving. I started crying. I didn’t know what to do. All I did was call her to tell her that her godmother had died. I got angry. I did not call to make trouble. I swear to you Cathy. I did not. I swear on the soul of my unborn son that I lost in 1985. I did not call to make trouble, but dammit, why should I be subjected to her verbal abuse? So I said “You know what? You’re right. You’re not my sister. You don’t know how to behave like a sister. so fuck you.” and then I hung up.
Cathy, I was so upset. I wanted to go to my dad’s house. I left my house with my washing machine running. I only grabbed a sweater and my keys. I was still in my slippers. I was crying so hard then when I was on Genesee St. I couldn’t see. I stopped at my cousin’s house and she calmed me down. I went on to my Dad’s. In the meantime, she had called him and when she started screaming at him, he hung up on her.
He had told me a couple of weeks before that he had thrown her out of his house because she was whining again about no money. He told her to get a job, like we have all been telling her for the past 25 years. She said she didn’t like Polish people. Well his mother came from Poland and we are all part Polish, so what the heck? She wanted money from him to fix her car.
When I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from the Town of Tonawanda police that “Ruth Sippel Pace, Gertrude McQueen and Kathy Inglis are NOT to have any contact with Joan Wheeler.”
Now where did Gerty and Kathy get in this?
I swear to you Cathy, your mom needs a psych consult. My father said she is mentally ill, and I see that. I am sorry to tell you this, but I believe it. All she had to say was, “Thank you for telling me about Aunt Doris. Goodby.”
there was no reason for her to off on me like she did, or call the cops on me. If she hauls me into court for harassment, all she is going to get is a psych consult. Because I will insist on it. She threatened my life once before. The district attorney knows this.
I am not going to write to you again about this. I just wanted you to know what went down. I undertstand that she is your mother and you love her.
But geez, she is my little sister, I love her too. Why the hell would I have called to tell her about Aunt Doris? I can’t stand this anymore. I’m done. I didn’t call her to make trouble I swear. I won’t make the same mistake again. (Ruth’s note, July 15, 2011 – This was all written on November 3, 2009, just a couple of weeks before Joan’s book was published. Notice how I tell my neice that Joan is “my little sister and I love her.” Because why would I have been crying like that from getting abuse from someone whom I loved? BUT when I read that horrible book – when I saw how almost every page was lie and hate against me over and over and her disgusting things she said about my mother’s deadbody my heart turned to stone against her. Yes, after 30 years of crap from her, there was still love there, but no longer. And Joan did all to herself. Yes, I mention my son that I lost – June 1985, Saied Ali, my heart. After years of trying to concieve, and I lost my only child. And Joan was there – she drove me home from the hospital – and in her book, she makes a mockery of my miscarriage. My only child – my baby, and Joan mocked his loss. – That is why any remaining love I had for Joan left me when I read that filthy book). now, back to the original email of Nov. 3, 2009″
ps I already shredded the piece of paper that I wrote her phone number on. I did not memorize it. I swear to you, I will not call her, I will not drive over there. I will not contact her. I am done. I try to do the right thing and all I get is a kick in the teeth AGAIN. no more.
Nov 4, 2009 RE: something happened today
*~*~They call me Cat, Kitty Cat*~*~ saysTo: Ladymoondancer ~
look im sorry bout wat has happened.
i originally wrote a message earlier but then i guess time warner decided to have a hiccup so it never sent, which gave me another chance to write with out being so mad. i am very sorry bout aunt doris’s passing. its too bad yet another person who probably was good has gone. i am sorry that mom did that. i guess my question to u is- y would u think shed wanna hear some one has passed, coming from u?…..u know better.lol. as to how she feels and how u feel. i think it best to stay clear of us. i would not tempt her. i know u said u wipe ur hands of her. not to sound like a bitch- but it would be best. i hope this means Kathy and Gertrude too. no contact with her at all. no smart things from her blogs or anykind of publication she has. she has it in her head u all are like gonna do ur best to hurt her….which if u r i have to say- so not cool……anyways, i understand u all r getting old, but my mom has good reason to think none of u wont try anything- the wheeler’s r fucking nuts!…well u sippels are a piece of work too….lol… i want to make it clear that none of u will not come into contact with my mom, my brother, or my nana- none of them want it or can handle it. as for me. if either of the other 2 wanna have any contact- they will have to ask u to write me a message via myspace. i do not want any disturbances from anyone- i want my own life. i deserve it. i wanted things to go different- i hoped everyone would get over everything so that when times like these came- we’d all be civil. i was surely wrong. mom just has alot of hurt. not saying none of u dont, but i see it of course more form her. if any one else passes- let maryelle or joselyn contact mom. gpa sippel should have known better not to give my moms number out to anyone. so yea- i was there kind of when u called. i was taking a shower- and thought something was wrong. she was crying and yelling that u had called. i got mad and thought- here we go again. i told her i didnt give a crap bout watever happened between u 2. but yea she was very distrought. so please- fo my sake- no more contact, ever- from any of u in any form. leave her alone- let her write her lil things online- its a free country and the internet is free- i mean we allow freaky ass porn!- let her do her shit in peace. let her, my brother and my nana be in peace. and im sorry for the way everything went down. it was a fragile time for everyone and i am sorry. i wish i knew this doris woman, she must have been a good woman. and please- no response to this other than- telling me that u will keep ur promise and tell the other 2 to stay away from us. thanks, and sorry again.
Nov 4, 2009 RE: something happened today
Ladymoondancer ~ saysTo: *~*~They call me Cat, Kit…
o(k I hear ya.
I agree with you that it was not a smart thing to call. but as I said, I only wanted to let her know about Aunt Doris.
but you know, you are a little unfair. you say steer clear of Dennis and your Nana. I understand you are only looking out for your family. I am not looking to call them. Neither is Gert or Kathy.
As for your mom’s blog, well, yeah, it’s a free country and all, like you say, so why is it, that only the sippels must censor themselves? Your mom can go on and on and say this and that about us. but the minute we say ANYTHING, it’s always, “don’t do that. it will hurt Joni.”
What about my hurt? Do you think I like being labeled scum of the earth? When all I ever did was set limits? Like telling your mom and dad, that I will not be disrespected?
Did I ever call somebody’s place of employment for 6 months straight and tell them that they have a thief and a computer hacker working for them? do you know how embarrased I was? do you know how embarrased I was when I met Mayor Anthony Maseilo and he saw my name tag and said, “Ruth Sippel, now where do I know that name from?” from the crazy letters your mom wrote to him. When here I am, at a symposium for block clubs, and passed a course at the Buffalo Police Academy, doing things in local government, only to have the mayor look at me like I’m crazy thanks to your mom.
So I’m supposed to sit back and let this happen to me year after year after year?
Or your mom calling the immigration department in England to scheme to have Kathy deported from there and sent back to Buffalo, when it was always Kathy’s dream to live there. Or how Kathy gets a letter from some college professor in Holland who proceeds to tell Kathy how to live her life because your mom has told him some lies about her.
So we are supposed to get hurt over and over?
And everything was ok for the past few years until your mom goes on the internet on her blog and singles out THE SIPPEL SISTERS. and slanders us.
internet is free speech? ok, so I have the free speech too. It works both ways. and this is something your mom refuses to see.
She wants us to respect our privacy, and not to gossip about her, but she runs into Francine’s brother and then starts telling him about what a bitch I am. And he’s like, hey, I’ve known Ruth since I was 1 year old, and she’s my aunt, and who is this whackjob and then he finally has to tell her to shut up in the middle of the muffler shop and he gets his boss looking at him, and I have to hear it from his other brother.
As for the Sippels being a piece of work, well yep. That’s right. Gert put herself thru school and became a dental hygeinist. Worked for the government. Retired a few years, is now an artist. Kathy scrimped and saved and emigrated to another country, became an accomplished guitarist and school teacher. Me, I have held the same job for 37 years. Am renovating my home. Was a professional dancer for a time. Board member of the Beledi Club, an organization for belly dancers. organized and head up the block club on my street. My brother before he died, worked in a hospital, studied medieval warfare. And all of us are artists and writers. I am head of a local Star Trek fan group.
And all of us have never stolen money from each other, maybe have snipped at snapped at each other, but always came back to hugs and kisses. Never tried to set each other up with the police and the courts. Never been arrested. Never sent false letters telling them that their spouse was unfatithful, never called false child abuse on each other.
As for my father “should have known better to give your mom’s phone number out.”
Why? I told him why I was going to call her. So she got kicked out of his house a few weeks ago? And whose fault is that?
so everything is always the fault of somebody else. Your mom is mentally ill, there is no reasoning with her. I am not out to hurt her. Neither are my sisters. But ask yourself, who is out to hurt whom? Do you think I was just all happy go lucky to open a letter and read my spouse got a women pregnant, and the house was vacant? So it was a lie.
And why did your mom sent me that? to have me say, O I’m so happy to hear this letter. No, the person who is doing the hurting is your mom. And then she gets surprised to find out that nobody likes her. or wants her in their life. and she has only herself to blame.
and now, here’s Joan’s version of that phone call, short and sweet, but all twisted to make it sound that I was harrassing her. Who’s the liar?
1. Gert McQueen – July 15, 2011
Ruth reports in the above post that…
When I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from the Town of Tonawanda police that “Ruth Sippel Pace, Gertrude McQueen and Kathy Inglis are NOT to have any contact with Joan Wheeler.” Now where did Gerty and Kathy get in this?
When I was told about that phone message, I got the police phone number and officer’s name from Ruth and I call him. He told me that I HAD NOTHING TO WORRY about because that police station, where Joan Wheeler lives, KNOWS ALL ABOUT HER. They recognize her constant calls about harassments and that I ought to just ignore the phone message.
As I told the police, HOW DID two other people, miles and an ocean away from Joan Wheeler get lumped together with another person who made a LEGITMATE phone call? The reason is because Joan Wheeler lumps the three of us together as one unit and believes that we are OUT TO GET HER. The police are FULLY AWARE of Joan’s behavior and mental outlook.
In January of this year, just before our Dad died, Joan had gone unannouced to Dad’s home, where she was told NOT TO GO TO, and she gave a phone number to my step-mother who threw it in the garbage. In other words no body wanted the number. Days later, when the decision was made to call Joan and inform her of Dad’s passing, the question was asked ‘where is Joan’s phone number?’ and the answer was ‘IN THE GARBAGE’. It was fished out in order to phone Joan to inform her of Dad’s death and WHEN she was able to have her personal and private (away from all family members) viewing.
To be perfectly clear…no one WANTS Joan’s number, in fact we all wish she would remove her TWO WEB sites that are slanderous, libelous and full of lies about us and our families and fade into the sunset…
It’s time for Joan Wheeler to get the message…you have lost, give it up already!!
Ruth – July 15, 2011
Gert is right to point out that in January of 2011, Joan shows up at our father’s house WHERE SHE WAS TOLD NOT TO COME. We see here, Joan’s double standard. She is thrown out of our father’s house late summer 2009, and told never to return – reason? She insulted my father’s blood lineage (and her own – what an idiot) and his religion. (boy I know that one – because she insulted my relgion, AND Gert’s, AND Kathy’s).
ALSO – the day my father died, January 11, 2011, my husband and I rushed to the hospital. There were a total of 8 family members there – and then my brother and his girlfriend came, making a total of 10. While we were saying our goodbyes to Dad, the phone rang – my stepsister answered it, it was Joan. She held the phone at arms length – “what should I tell her?” We all shook our heads – my stepmother said “I don’t want her here.” M. said on the phone, “sorry, you just missed him.” and hung up. 20 minutes later, the phone rang again. I picked it up. “This is Joan Wheeler, can I speak to my father?” I said, “sorry, he’s not available.” Hey – he could have been in x-ray or getting a ct scan! But then Joan starting calling his house and leaving messages AFTER SHE HAD BEEN TOLD NOT TO CALL THE HOUSE!
Gert reported to me later that she went with our stepmother and was sitting at the kitchen table while my stepmother was clearing her messages and on one message Joan says “I will keep calling until I find out about my father.”
Who the hell does she think she is? She was told DON’T CALL. Yet she calls and ADMITS that she will keep calling an elderly woman! This is HARASSMENT and ELDER ABUSE!
And this two-faced bitch gets on the internet and reports that I harassed her when I merely called to tell her that her namesake died? And further calls an elderly man and screams at him for giving me her phone number?
Oh, so let me get this straight – JOAN CAN GIVE OUT ORDERS AND BITCH AND COMPLAIN WHEN SOMEBODY GOES AGAINST THOSE ORDERS! But when Joan is GIVEN the same dam orders, (don’t call) – SHE CAN IGNORE THE ORDERS!
Oh no way Joan honey, you don’t get to be a dam dictator, and tell everyone how to run their lives, and disregard their set boundaries. And then report on the internet how people go against YOUR dictated orders, but don’t report how YOU go against other people’s wishes.
Now you know why people HATE Joan and run the hell away from her!
2. Ruth – July 15, 2011
Here’s an interesting email I just got from Gert – who was reminiscing about Joan and her ways.
“I remember a time when I came to visit Dad, and I took Ginette (our stepmother) shopping and she told me that when Joan would take her shopping Joan would put items in the cart and not until they got to the check out would Joan mention that she put the items in the cart and she didn’t have any money to pay them. Ginette said she never told Dad!! what a slease ball she is….
I remember when she invited us over, when she had her first apartment, and she said she was going to have spagetti and meatball and I have to bring the meat! And ofcourse I did…
Ruth here – yep – this is the kind of shit that Joan has done to us year after year – she’s a scam artist, a thief – her and her ex-husband scammed me out several hundred dollars!
Oh, I know how sweet and lovely and how innocent she can portray herself to be. I am a very intelligent person – I am very computer savvy, I own my house, have worked at my job for going on 39 years, trained to be a union steward, am well respected by my peers and colleagues,and yet got scammed! That is why I’m not too surprised at Jennifer Willett, Pastor Ruth Willert, Mara, Heather, Daisy, Laura, and others who listen to Joan’s whines and all think that I am a bitch and Joan is the saint. — Joan has a way of sugar coating things – and is very very sneaky. She knows that civil, well mannered people are NOT going to make a fuss at the checkout – and my stepmother is no dummy either – She was educated at the Sorbonne University in Paris (French version of Yale or Harvard).
This is the purpose of this blog – to shed the light on the misdeeds and the words of the bully called Joan Mary Wheeler.
4. Ruth – July 19, 2011
Just wanted to add a little thing about the myspace email exchange between me and my niece – my niece didn’t respond further.
Because she knew what I said was true, and COULDN’T respond, for all her bravado on saying “the Sippels are a piece of work.” – cute little dig there, I see the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. – But when I said she was unfair and pointed out that yeah, we Sippel siblings have careers and jobs and interests and DON’T mess with people – she couldn’t respond.
And as for her saying in regards to her mother putting stuff on the internet, “let her write her lil things online-” and I tell her NO WAY! Guess she couldn’t respond to that one either!
My stepmother told me in 2004 that my niece had a bit of a mouth on her – oh yeah? humph – she mouthed off all right and when she got put in her place – that was the end of that!
Because yeah, I’M A SIPPEL AND I AM A PIECE OF WORK – A PIECE OF WORK THAT IS A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH!
I do not take slander and libel against me laying down, whether it is in print or on the internet. And no, I will NOT let Joan write her lil things online – because those “lil things” are lies and slander designed to TARNISH MY REPUTATION along with other members of my family.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, bullying, contradictions, death of parents, elder abuse, grief, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, intimidation of an elderly person, parents, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements
On March 28, 2011, on the anniversary of my mother’s death, Joan Wheeler writes the following on her blog: “With the recent passing of my adoptive mother and my natural father now four of my five parents are dead. Only my step mother survives.”
Joan is very clever at manipulating people. She wants people to see how she honors her parents. Oh yes, she honors/honored them all right. All through her book Forbidden Family she chronicles how she disrespected her adoptive mother. And how she disrespected her birth father by attacking his religion and insulting his Polish ancestry.
What I find laughable is her saying she had five parents and how only her stepmother survives now. Sorry Joan, but you are not/were not the legal daughter of Leonard Sippel Sr., therefore his wife, now widow is NOT your stepmother. To you, she was/is simply the spouse of your birth father. And because of your disrespect to her, you don’t get to call her stepmother.
On the day of my father’s death, January 11, 2011, Joan called his hospital room. He had just passed away and the family was called. My husband and I went to the hospital to say our goodbyes.
The entire family, consisting of my stepmother and her daughters, their husbands, one of their grown children, myself (representing Dad’s first family) and my husband, IN UNISON AND COMPLETE AGREEMENT did not want Joan at the hospital room, the funeral home, or the funeral.
While we were in the room the phone rang, and a family member answered it. It was Joan. She was not told that Dad had passed. She was told “you just missed him.” Twenty minutes later, Joan called again. I answered it and told her “he is not available.”
This could have meant that he was not in his room, but getting x-rays or some other test. But Joan, needed to know what was going on. Why? My father had thrown her out of his house a year and a half ago, telling her not to contact him. But on January 4, 2011, because Joan was “upset” that her adoptive mother had taken a turn for the worse, came to my father’s house, accompanied by a male companion. The door was unlocked, to admit Meals on Wheels, and Joan and her friend, walked right in. My stepmother, frail and on permanent oxygen was frightened, but did tell Joan that Dad was in the hospital. Joan and her friend went to see him at the hospital. She writes on her blog that she asked Dad forgiveness. Nonsense. Another family member was there the entire time and tells me no such thing was said.
Be that as it may, picture this: a 79 year old woman, frail, on permanent oxygen, bent with age. Get the picture? Joan knows her husband is the hospital. She calls his room on January 11, is told by two family members that “you just missed him,” and “he is not available.” What does Joan do? Calls my father’s house and getting the answering machine, leaves several messages, and in one of them she says that she will “keep calling until she finds out what is going on with my father.”
So, this bitch, having been told previously NOT TO CALL MY FATHER’S HOUSE, knowing my father is in the hospital, and his wife is alone in the house, is frail, and on permanent oxygen, leaves a message stating that SHE WILL KEEP CALLING. Who the hell does Joan think she is?
Well I know WHAT she is: an abuser of the elderly! And that phone message proves it. She is going to keep badgering an old woman, who can’t defend herself, whose husband is in the hospital and she is alone in the house.
But this wasn’t the first time she disrespected my stepmother. Back in 2006, when my father and stepmother had arranged their funeral plans and wills, Joan had showed up had my father’s house. My father was not home. But Joan tried to manipulate my stepmother with her paperwork. Even boldly saying, “I know that I won’t get my father’s money, but I can get yours.”
My stepmother told her that all her paperwork was at the lawyers and everything was done. She then just sat at the kitchen table and waited until Joan left. Then she called one of her daughters.
Gert and I did not know of this until after my father’s death. Because my stepmother’s papers were all taken care of anyway, and it was felt that if we knew about it, there would have been more fighting between Gert and myself with Joan. Steps were taken to protect my stepmother’s paperwork, and indeed, Gert and myself.
After my father was finally done with Joan in 2009, the entire family, thought there would be no more contact from Joan, and there wasn’t until the week before my father died and she intimidated my stepmother again.
So now Joan wants to “honor” “her” stepmother? Read her sentence again.
“With the recent passing of my adoptive mother and my natural father now four of my five parents are dead. Only my step mother survives.”
She then says that she sadly marks their memories and lists their names, relationship to her, date of death and their age when they died. Then she says “The pain of loss is real. All four parents are real. All adoptees have two sets of real parents.”
What the hell is wrong with Joan? I thought she was sadly marking these people’s memories. Instead, she turns it all around on HER! People – DEEPLY READ what she wrote – “The pain of loss is real.”
Yeah, we all know that. Grief hurts. Fine. But what is her writing about HER feelings when she is supposed to be marking the memories of other people. And then her last sentence is the real kicker: “ALL ADOPTEES HAVE TWO SETS OF REAL PARENTS.”
So how did we get from marking deceased people’s memories to adoptees?
This blog post was not anywhere near marking deceased people’s memories and honoring them, it was just another whine from Joan, to get sympathy from people. And USING AND MANIPULATING a sad occasion to GET HER ADOPTION MESSAGE OUT yet again.
When a person gets married, they gain a NEW FAMILY. They are called in-laws. EVERYBODY knows this. So it is totally unnecessary for someone, in writing an eulogy to an in-law that has died, to point out that the grieving person has TWO SETS OF PARENTS, THEIR BIRTH PARENTS AND THEIR IN-LAW PARENTS.
Why does Joan always have to state the obvious? Uh, DUH adoptees have two sets of parents. Joan, the recent passing of our father, your adoptive mother, and the anniversary of our mother’s death IS NOT THE PROPER VENUE FOR YOU TO PROMOTE YOUR POLITICAL AGENDA. THEIR DEATHS IS ABOUT THEM, NOT ABOUT YOU!
But little Joni always has to turn everything around to shed light on herself. It’s always JOAN, JOAN, JOAN. Bah!
aha – we have the evidence and now everyone can see what a lying filthy snake Joan Wheeler is. March 7, 2011Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cyberbullying, delusional thinking, delusions, dishonesty, elder abuse, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, exploitation of a rape victim, false accusations, false accusations of sexual abuse, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity
aha – we have the evidence and now everyone can see what a lying filthy snake Joan Wheeler is.
by Ruth Sippel Pace
This was just sent to me via email, the entire exchange and what Joan Wheeler said on the Huffington Post. She continues with her lies that she had multiple orders of protection against me, when in reality she only ONE. In her delusional mind, and her diarrhea of the mouth, ONE equals MANY. (was she never taught arithmetic?) Also for your consideration is the outlandish and disgusting lie about my grandfather. Joan has now taken the Angry Adoptee too fucking far and shows the world what a BITCH she really is. And this is going to help adoption reform? No! Rational people in congress and supreme court will NOT look at the rantings and ravings of such an irrational delusional liar as Joan Wheeler. For the love of god Joan, SHUT THE F UP!
Joan M Wheeler
Comments (15) | Friends (46)
Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 16:32:42 in Health
You can search my names on Google, read every comment and post I ever wrote, send follow-up comment postings and email to instigate and aggravate me. You don’t want me in your life so stay out of mine.
You are a destructive force in the goals that I, and other adoption reformers, want to achieve.
I have gone to the police repeatedly to try to stop you. Orders of Protection only work for six months or one year, then, you are back again. New York State does not have Internet Bullying Laws. If New York did have these laws, I would have all three of my sisters arrested and convicted for causing me emotional and financial distress.
My three sisters do prove my point that separating siblings, especially after the death of a parent during childhood, damages the children who bring their mental anguish into adulthood.
My siblings have been inflicting their sick perversions and twisted obsessions upon me and my children and my adoptive mother since 1974. It appears that they will continue this right into old age and death. That is how mentally sick they are.
For adoption reform: http://forbiddenfamily.com”
Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 16:21:24 in Living
Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 16:15:12 in Living
Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 16:14:21 in Living
Fact is that is that my older sisters were molested by our grandfather and they think I escaped by being adopted. So they blame me for being an adoption activist. They were not adopted, I was, and they weasel into my life every chance they get.”
Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 16:09:53 in Living
I filed for yet another Order of Protection in 2005, after yet more unwanted contact. Charges were dismissed because the judge was tired of it all. Since I cannot get the police to help me, nor a court of law to defend me, and I cannot reason with any of my three full blood sisters. I want to be left alone.”
Ruth Herr Sippel Pace on Mar 4, 2011 at 17:57:15
If any one is interested in the TRUTH, these posts on my blog, contain scanned actual court documents that PROVE that what JW says here, March 4, 2011 is LIES and again is SLANDERING me and my sisters.
I, Ruth Sippel Pace maintain my right to answer JW’s smearing of MY reputation.
If Joan wants to silence me on the internet the solution is obvious: JW needs to stop spreading false accusations about me and my sisters.”
Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 16:04:13 in Living
There are no cyberbullying laws in New York State so I cannot call law enforcement for protection. I have been the victim of harassment and bullying from my three sisters for many decades. They have taken disagreements to the extreme.
I have no contact whatsoever with the three sisters who found me. They are mean and unstable people. I want only positive and loving people in my life. My sisters have caused a great deal of torment in my life, but they are not the focus of my reunion nor my life. I, alone, am the adoptee. My book is about my life and how adoption effected me and my immediate adoptive family, my now ex-husband, and our children.”
Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 14:39:07 in Health
About my adoption: Our mother died when I was three months old. Our father placed me with my adopting parents one month later and I was legally adopted at age 1 year and 1 week. There facts are documented in my adoption papers which I petitioned for legally.”
Commented Mar 4, 2011 at 11:29:45 in Health
Exactly. So why don’t we start legislation across the USA to stop this practice? Someone has to put a stop to it. Access legislation makes no sense when the cycle is not broken. Stop producing false birth certificates, start producing truthful adoption certificates, and we will eventually see that there is no need for sealed records. So, where’s the new legislation to end the cycle? Get on it!!!”
Commented Mar 3, 2011 at 12:59:47 in Health
Keeping secrets as deep as the true identity of your adoptee is surely indicative of a controling and insecure adoptive parent. You don’t need to be so possessive and afraid if you parented your adoptee with love. But I see that you are angry and paranoid. You did adopt someone else’s child and for that, you have evvery obligation to tell the truth: morally, ethically, religiously, and legally. To base any relationship on lies is a set-up for disaster and pain. I feel sorry for you and your husband and your adoptee. You truley are ignorant of life-cycle adoption psychology. Shame on you. As an adoptive parent you owe it to yourself to read Nancy Verrier’s books on what the adoptee experiences. This isn’t about you, this is about the adoptee!”
Commented Mar 3, 2011 at 12:51:18 in Health
My amended birth certificate states all the birth facts: date and time of birth, and hospital, but I am re-named as if I were born with that name, and my adoptive mother is named as having given me birth. That is an outright lie! The one birth fact left off of my falsified birth certificate is that there were 4 other children born to the real mother. But I am forced to present this document as proof of my birth. I resent it.
In addition to giving back a civil right to own our original birth certificates, I would like to see the elimination of the amended birth certificate as an automatic dictate upon adoption. Instead, replace the amended and falsified birth certificate with an adoption certificate which states the facts of adoption. Leave the birth certificate alone and open to the adoptee. The adoption certificate should be open, too. This is the way it is done in more progressive countries such as The Netherlands and Australia.”
Commented Mar 3, 2011 at 12:50:23 in Health
I am not grateful to be adopted. Why would I? My adoptive parents knowingly and willingly prevented me from knowing my own full blood siblings during my childhood and that is child abuse. Yes, my natural father relinquished me to adoption when I was 4 months old just after the death of my mother. He kept the other 4 children. That alone is hurtful, but my adoptive parents knew my father and open visitation could have been arranged. But my so-called loving adoptive parents kept me all to themselves, alone, in their sheltered cocoon of adoption-love. I should have been told the truth.
Now about the birth certificate issue: I was born the 5th child to married parents. My original birth certificate states that there were 4 other children born to this mother. I was given a name and my long form birth certificate states the date and time of birth in the hospital. My natural father gave this document to my adopting parents when he relinquished me.
(end of part 1)”
Ruth Herr Sippel Pace on Mar 4, 2011 at 14:20:35
Second, JW states “I should have been told the truth.” JW should begin by telling the truth in all posts on the internet. She was not 4 months old when she was adopted, but 3 months.”
Miss Morgan B Aird on Mar 3, 2011 at 17:35:48
You were blessed to be adopted, regardless of how you feel now. I do not know anything about my biological parents and it isn’t until now (26 years later) my adoptive mom wants to seriously talk,other than when I was a child. I have a biological brother that is only 16 months older than me (which she kept), but I love both my parents just the same, because I am here and I am wonderful!”
Commented Feb 22, 2011 at 11:31:59 in New York
A wallet stolen 40 years ago and returned to the rightful owner certainly has sentimental value. The person who found the wallet felt “fantastic satisfaction” by giving back the wallet after all these years.
But what of adoptees who have had their identities at birth stolen from them? Shouldn’t they be the beneficiaries of a society who now realizes the tremendous sentimental value of obtaining one’s own birth certificate? Currently, New York and New Jersey are preventing millions of adoptees from accessing their sealed original birth certificates by refusing to pass legislation that would reunite adoptees with their original birth certificates.
Give adoptees back their civil rights to the truth of their births. Change the law. Let’s make human interest stories out of the positive outcomes that would result from reuniting an adoptee with the true certificate that documents the day they were born.
Joan Wheeler born Doris Sippel”
Commented Feb 11, 2011 at 10:44:53 in Living
Gert McQueen on Feb 14, 2011 at 09:24:12
The recent ‘pain’ is because of the lying book that Joan wrote about all family members and non-members in her quest for laying the blame of her miserable life on the doorstep of adoption.
I divorced myself from this woman back in 1982 because of what she did to my family, because I ‘adopted’ my own son and she didn’t like that and my telling her to leave me and my family alone. Ten years later, I attempted a reconcilation, in person, she again betrayed me, attacking my mental health and religion and then another attempt by me by phone in 2005 again was met with more betrayal, she thought I was looking for information to ‘get her’.
I am in no pain…Joan is…because she can not stop the truth, that we sisters are saying, on our blog. If the truth hurts, it is not my family that is hurting, only Joan because she refuses to accept the truth of the life that she was given.”
Ruth Herr Sippel Pace on Feb 12, 2011 at 16:34:56
My sister and I have a blog refuting Ms. Wheeler’s book at http://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/ where we tell WHY our reunion went sour.”
Gert McQueen on Feb 12, 2011 at 10:13:36
The truth about Joan’s book is that is is an extremely long painful account of the author’s own perceptions of her reality where in she fabricates, exaggerates and boldly lies about people and events. She describes her own character flaws presenting them as reasons for why she believes she has been traumatized by adoption and in that process doesn’t realize the harm she has done to herself and others. She portrays both the birth and adoptive families is very negative ways and claims to be harassed by us birth sisters. She does not tell of her own negative actions towards the birth sisters or many other people. The author is violently opposed to adoption and adoptive parents and is not truly interested in helping people,
My sisters and I are not hiding anything we say or do about refuting her book or other actions she has said or done to us; we put everything we do on our blog for it is a truth-telling blog. It is the birth sisters’ position that the fact of a publication of a book of lies and misrepresentation is an grave dishonor to our parents, ourselves and other members of our family and the adoptive family.”
Commented Oct 6, 2010 at 13:03:52 in Living
The primal wound is very much a part of my life, longing for closeness that was taken from me so soon after birth because I almost died and had to be kept in medical isolation to bring up my weight and physical development. Soon after I was released from the hosptial, my mother died, which led to my relinquishment and adoption.
Thank you for your article.
However, I would hardly call adoption “wonderful”: “Adoption is a wonderful way to start and have a family.” Be careful. Adoption as practiced in America is filled with destruction. If adoptive parents would truely be open and honest with their adoptee (mine were not) and adoptees’ the birth certificate are not sealed and falsified, and if connections with the family of origin are not severed…then adoption would become guardianship. Ever here of family preservation?
I am for total and complete adoption prevention.
Joan M Wheeler born Doris M Sippel
Joan Wheeler: you are a disgusting piece of shit after what you said on the Huffington Post March 7, 2011Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, bullying, cowardice, delusional thinking, delusions, Disrespect, elder abuse, emotional abuse, exploitation of a rape victim, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, willful intent to emotionally harm a person
by Ruth Sippel Pace
So this idiotic neurotic nutball has the nerve to say on the internet that her birth sisters were sexually molested by their grandfather. What a lowdown bitch she is.
First, this never happened. Joan keeps scraping the bottom of her filthy black heart to come up with lies to use against her birth sisters.
Second, even if it were true, how would you dare to post this – what a filthy bitch Joan is – this is called exploitation of a rape victim, and is the lowest a person could go in a smear campaign.
Yes, what Joan did is to try to exploit a rape victim, even if the event never happened, it is Joan’s INTENT – she wanted to hurt us. Why would anyone want to try to hurt another human being in this fashion? – Joan has no morals. And she proves it when she wrote another filthy lie about her birth family in her continual smear campaign against her birth sisters and true to her ELDER ABUSING character, she sullies the character of my elderly grandfather, a man who having died 52 years ago, is no longer around to defend himself.
What kind of immoral bitch are you Joan? Please take your delusions and shove them.
Adoption reformers: take a good look at Joan Mary Wheeler. do you like what you see?
Joan Wheeler is strangely silent after she and her boyfriend were found to have desecrated my father’s funeral guest book. January 23, 2011Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Uncategorized.
Tags: abuse, adoption, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, desecration of a funeral item, dishonesty, Disrespect, elder abuse, emotional abuse, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, harassment of the dying, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, whining
It’s a week now since Gert and I have posted about the events of the past 2 years that got Joan disowned by my father, and our telling of the desecration of my father’s guest book in the funeral home. I can’t understand Joan’s silence. Usually when it is reported that someone is angry at her (in this case my father), Joan will go off on a rant and blame Ruth. Or Ruth/Gert/Kathy. But what I find very strange is Joan’s lack of indignation at the desecration of HER father’s guest book at his funeral. I mean, that was HER father, wasn’t it? She seems to think so. She even placed a second death notice in The Buffalo News on my father listing HER as his daughter! She did this because SHE was removed from the original death notice that was in the paper 2 days before.
Oh, I see – she was angry because SHE was slighted, but NOT angry because my father was slighted. What a charming loving daughter. typical of her.
After we posted about the hate message that was placed in my father’s guest book, Joan’s male friend Russell Thomas sent me an email to my private email. He had my private email address because of an email that I had sent him a few months ago. Mr. Thomas, Joan’s puppet left me a couple of nasty comments on this blog. In the first one he called me a bitch, in a couple more he said that I don’t think straight, then another one where he backtracked and said he was only trying to help. Oh sure, I really believe that one. If he was trying to help, he wouldn’t have called me names. There were a few more, which were deleted, unread. Mr. Thomas was mad because in this blog we are laying out the bad behavior of his friend Joan. Then a few days before the anniversary of my mother’s birthday Joan writes an “honor” statement to my mother, but as usual, just has to add a degrading dig against my mother’s daughters, me and Gert and Kathy.
Since Mr. Thomas had already assured me that he was confident that Joan was going to behave, and Joan had “hidden” this dig against us on an obscure page on her website, (which it’s purpose is supposed to be about adoption reform, NOT hurling personal insults against her own blood-kin, and which is still there). I emailed Mr. Thomas directing him to this page. (I had Mr. Thomas’ email address because he provided it when he left his stupid comments on this blog). I must point out that I emailed Mr. Thomas ONCE and ONCE ONLY. He emailed me back, via my private email, saying something about what Joan wrote was “pretty scathing,” but no worse than what we have written on this blog. Again, I didn’t read his entire message, and deleted it. The reason I didn’t read it is because I could see that Mr. Thomas is not interested in the TRUTH, which is what is written here on this blog. He is only interested in defending his new friend Joan. Mr. Thomas also left a comment on a public forum (a separate public forum elsewhere on the net), accusing me of objecting to Joan’s existence. – Wrong. Joan had gone on this forum, and again, violated the privacy of MY family, telling things that happened to the Sippel family AFTER the year 1957, the year she was adopted OUT of the Sippel family. AND she didn’t even tell these things truthfully. I went on the forum, and gave the CORRECT events of MY childhood. And why should Mr. Thomas, a STRANGER to me, object to ME telling the TRUTH of MY childhood?
Who the hell is Mr. Thomas to tell Ruth Pace that she can not tell the truth of her own childhood? And who the hell is Joan Wheeler that she can go on public internet forums and tell LIES about MY childhood?
After Mr. Thomas sent me the email admitting to Joan’s “scathing” post, I notified him via this blog, which I know he reads, NOT to contact me via my private email address, and to stop leaving hate messages on this blog. So a couple of days later, I see ANOTHER email via my private email address from Mr. Thomas. I deleted it unread. I left another message on this blog that Mr. Thomas was now a HARASSER – because he contacted me via my private email AFTER I told him not to.
After Gert and I posted that an eyewitness witnessed Mr. Thomas as the one who desecrated my father’s guest book, Mr. Thomas contacted me AGAIN via my private email. I posted a notice on this blog, for legal purposes, on public internet, that Mr. Thomas was now actively harassing me with unwanted contact. This man is a stranger to me and my family, he has no business commenting on MY family, or on MY childhood. The purpose of this blog is take a lie that Joan Wheeler has placed in her book, and to refute that lie – to tell the TRUTH of MY own childhood. IT IS MY CHILDHOOD, MY LIFE, THAT I AM WRITING ABOUT MR. THOMAS, AND YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL ME THAT I CAN NOT WRITE ABOUT IT!
So getting back to the desecration of the guest book and the events preceding my father’s funeral. In 2006, my father, pre-paid for all his and his wife’s funeral and related arrangements, even writing out the death notice and obituary for the newspaper. Yes, Joan was included in it. In 2008 and 2009, Joan insulted my father to the point that he had to throw her out of his house (again). My father told her at that time not to come around him anymore. He then went to the funeral home, and REMOVED Joan from his papers. My father REMOVED Joan’s name from his death notice and obituary. On or about November 15, 2010, I spoke to my father and he told me that he was “done with Joan. I don’t want to see her.”
Just after New Years, 2011, Joan’s adoptive mother “took a turn for the worse,” and Joan writes on a forum that she is “dreading” her death. So she decides to go visit my father, although he told her not to come around. She came to his apartment on January 4, 2011, with Mr. Thomas and entered the unlocked door. My stepmother, frail and on permanent oxygen, was frightened. Joan got information out of her – that my father was in the hospital. Joan and Mr. Thomas then went to the hospital to see my father AFTER he told her to stay away from him. Supposedly, according to Mr. Thomas, Joan apologized to my father. Mr. Thomas wrote a comment on this blog saying that he “thinks” my father forgave her. Then he said if he didn’t forgive her, that it was my father’s problem. Excuse me, Mr. Thomas, who the hell are YOU to say that my father, just days from his death had a “problem?” Then, further in Mr. Thomas’ comment, he begins to LECTURE me on forgiving!!!
Again, I ask, just who the hell does this man think he is that he can LECTURE me?
Because of Joan’s HARASSMENT of a sick, weak and dying man, — yes HARASSMENT – she had been told STAY AWAY, DON’T CALL- by my father, but as usual, she thinks she will do what SHE wants, with a total disregard for anybody’s else feelings and wants! Because of this HARASSMENT – the entire family barred Joan from the hospital. And just a couple of hours after his death, as the family sat about his body, saying their goodbyes, Joan calls AGAIN! The person who answered held the receiver at arm’s length – “It’s Joan. What should I tell her?” THE FAMILY in unison, said, “no, tell her nothing. we don’t want her here.” So she was told, “you just missed him.” Twenty minutes later, Joan calls AGAIN! (is she learning impaired, she can’t understand English? What part of DON’T CALL, does she NOT get?) This time, I answered the phone. I looked at the family, with a look of helplessness, – they knew who was on the line. They shook their heads. I said, “he is unavailable,” and hung up.
Later on that evening, Joan got hold of a family member and was told that my father had died. “it would have been nice if I had been told,”she commplained. NO, it wouldn’t have. What happened the last time someone told her of a relative’s death? On November 3, 2009, I learned that an aunt of mine died. And Joan was originally named for her. I called my father and told him. Knowing that he had thrown Joan out of his house several months before, I was not sure if he still had her phone number. So I just came out and asked him. He sounded very tired. To save him the trouble of talking to Joan, I called Joan to tell her about Aunt Doris. I did not go around sneaking around asking relatives for your phone number Joan. So stop telling people that LIE! After I told Joan that Aunt Doris died, Joan subjected me to verbal abuse. Screaming obscenities at me. Who the hell does Joan think she is, that she can do this to another human being? Since Joan can’t act like an adult, and BEHAVE herself, she was NOT informed of my father’s death. Again, Joan, it is YOUR behavior that dictates how other people act towards you. If you act like an idiot, you will be treated like an idiot.
And why is she complaining, “It would have have been nice if I had been told” anyway? My first reaction on hearing my father had died was to scream and cry and my husband needing to calm me down. What is Joan’s reaction? She complains.
The following day, Wednesday, January 12, Gert came into town and was at my father’s apartment with our elderly stepmother. She was at the ktichen table while our stepmother was nearby clearing her answering machine. Gert heard several messages from Joan from the day before, one in particular, Joan stated clearly “I will keep calling until I find out about my father.” How dare you Joan? You were told NOT TO CALL! You know my father was in the hospital, therefore you are going to HARASS an elderly woman because you wanted to know what was going on? Who the hell appointed YOU the boss of the family that YOU will dictate that YOU will keep calling AFTER you have been told NOT TO CALL?
The family, however, decided to be nice to Joan, and granted her a private viewing time (4:30pm, after the rest of the family had left) at the funeral home. She showed up with Mr. Thomas. At 4pm, as the family was leaving, Joan’s daughter, alone, came in and spoke a few minutes with Gert. As we left, she was standing at the casket, her back was towards the guest book.
I am not sure of the exact time frame of the events, but two different people related the following to us. These people being the funeral director and a woman, a cousin of an old high school friend of one of the Three Sippel Sisters. She saw Joan enter the room with a man. She noticed the strong family resemblance of Joan to us. She also heard Joan complain loudly to the funeral director that she was “his (my father) daughter and she was not in the death notice. This woman was standing behind Mr. Thomas and saw him write someting long in the guest book. Then he flipped the pages and wrote something else. Then he left the guest book, and she went up to sign her name, and noted the name he had just written – Russell Thomas. She signed her name after his, flipped the pages back to see what else he had written, and was shocked to see the hate message. The next day, after some calling around to other mutual friends to get a current phone number, she called one of us Sippel Sisters and told us what had occurred. This woman would have no reason to lie.
At 6:45pm, when Gert and I found the hate message and scribbled it out – we questioned the funeral director. He told us that “this party,” and he pointed to Joan’s name in the guest book, did behave herself, and he saw for himself, Joan and her daughter standing at the casket. which would mean that their backs were towards the guest book. Joan’s daughter related to me in one facebook private message that she came “alone.” Then in another message she says that she was with her mother and Mr. Thomas and Mr. Thomas was with her at the casket, he never excused himself. This shows me, number 1, a contradiction between the 2 messages, in what she wrote – how can she be “alone,” then with her mother and Mr. Thomas? Number 2, this is a direct contradiction of what the funeral director told us. Number 3, what would Mr. Thomas excusing himself prove anything? Unless Joan’s daughter has eyes in the back of her head, she doens’t know WHAT Mr. Thomas was doing at the guest book.
Now remember, I said how I told Mr. Thomas NOT to contact me via my private email address? Well guess what? He did – on Monday, January 17. so he read my blog about us finding out that he was the one who desecrated our father’s guest book. And he contacts me AGAINST MY DIRECT WISHES AND ORDERS to profess his innocence. HA! And so dam quickly to! Usually the guilty party is the one who very quickly points out that they didnt’ do it. And in his email, Mr. Thomas goes out of his way on how he “honored” my father, a veteran. And how he, (Mr. Thomas) honors those who fought for our country. what’s that got to do with anything? I found that rather strange – why go out of your way to tell me that you honor those who fought for our country? Is that statement relevant to the topic? I also honor our veteran’s – I don’t bring it up in this blog – because IT IS NOT RELEVANT TO THE TOPIC AT HAND! and as for “honoring” my father – how was Mr. Thomas honoring him in his comment on this blog that he had a “problem?” Mr. Thomas then says that I haven’t seen his (Mr. Thomas’) “nice” side. So in that he admits he has been showing me his evil side. Excuse me, buddy – I am not interested in seeing any of your sides, because you just caught in a contradiction, and in bringing up veterans, you are sucking up to me because my husband is a former Navy Seal. In fact, when I told my husband what Mr. Thomas wrote in his email, he said, “he’s running scared.” That’s right – you should be scared Mr. Thomas. After what you wrote in my father’s guest book, you deserve a good beat down. And if you EVER come near me, I won’t need my husband, – if you lay a hand on me, I will take care of you myself. And don’t think for a minute that I’m not capable of it.
And where is Joan’s anger at what was written in my father’s guest book? It was a desecration of my father and my mother – Joan’s birth parents! The message invoked the names of my mother’s brothers – 4 dead men and one living man, who at the time of the forging of his name in the book, was in Florida. Joan has not ONCE acknowledged or condemned this desecration aimed at her birth parents. WHY NOT JOAN? But she sure was angry enough to have been omitted in the first newspaper death notice that she went out of her way to call the newspaper and have another death notice printed. BUT SAYS NOTHING TO DEFEND HER FATHER – THE ONE SHE WAS ARGUING WITH THE FUNERAL DIRECTOR THAT SHE WAS HIS DAUGHTER AND CALLS THE NEWSPAPER! Ah, yes, actions do indeed speak louder than words. She can complain that she wasn’t notifed that her birth father had died. She can complain that she got left out of the death notice, but she can’t complain that somebody desecrated her birth father’s guest book?
In the past, Joan has gone on internet forums and spoken on how she is facing the impending death of 3 parents. Her adoptive mother, her birth father, and her stepmother (wife of her birth father). I know of at least three times she had addressed this issue. And again, on January 14, 3 days after my father’s death, she goes on the adult adoptee forum and again mentions her adoptive mother’s impending death. But Joan DOES NOT MENTION THAT HER BIRTH FATHER HAD JUST DIED 3 DAYS BEFORE! (correction – it was January 18, 2011, that Joan was on the forum, not the 14th. – rp.).
Why not? The 14th was the day that her birth father was laid out in the funeral home and she was granted a private time to say goodbye. Her thoughts were supposed to be on how her birth father had died. the man who gave her life was dead, and instead of grieving, she’s on the dam internet responding to a request for adoption research. Oh, but just 10 days before, she just HAD to go to him to apologize? BULLSHIT! She was busy on January 14, all right,concoting the message that she wanted Mr. Thomas to write in the guest book. (correction – it was January 18, 2011, that Joan was on the forum, not the 14th. But I still have to wonder where her mind was on the 14th that she would allow such a desecration to take place. – rp.).
And the reason she wrote it, or rather got someone else to do her dirty work, is because she was pissed that the entire family barred her from the funeral and the church service. She wanted to hurt my stepmother, my sisters, and me. But no, she didn’t hurt us, all she accomplished was to give us another opportunity to show the entire world what she is all about – a spoiled little bitch. An evil bitch at that.
Joan is also too busy with another project to have the time to publicly acknowledge the death of her birth father (and watch – AFTER she reads this blog post – is when she will write a stupid blog post “honoring” him). What is Joan busy with? Trolling relatives of my mother’s facebook pages and sending friend requests to people that don’t even know her! umm, Joan, that is called cyber-stalking, and isn’t that what YOU keep accusing US of doing? Two faced hypocrite Joan Wheeler shows the world what an ass she is – yet again!
Now that my father is buried, again, I ask Joan: WHERE IS YOUR INDIGNATION OVER THE DESECRATION OF YOUR BIRTH PARENTS?
She doesn’t even step forward to defend her buddy, her puppet, Russell Thomas. Why not? Because SHE KNOWS HE DID IT AT HER REQUEST!
And now the whole world knows it too. Joan Mary Wheeler and Russell D. Thomas – YOU will be the ones rotting in hell forever. You are already rotting in this life – you two lowdown scums deserve each other. Pigs, swine. filthy pigs. I’d spit on you, but I don’t want to sully even my spit. I don’t want my spit or even any other body waste fluid of mine contaminated with the touch of you two disgusting bitchs. You are an abuser of the elderly Joan – you struck your own elderly mother, harassed my elderly former foster mother, harassed my elderly father on his death bed, harassed his widow via phone after she lost her husband,– Joan Wheeler – GO TO HELL AND ROT!
Legal Notice to Joan M. Wheeler Part 3 by Gertrude McQueen, first born of Leonard Sippel January 17, 2011Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, desecration of a funeral item, elder abuse, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, false accusations, gold digger, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, intimidation of an elderly person, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity
UPDATE OCTOBER 2016; as older posts are being seen I, Gert, am updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!
this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.
to continue on…
THIS IS A FORMAL NOTICE FOR LEGAL PURPOSES AGAINST JOAN M. WHEELER AND RUSSELL D. THOMAS OF WILSON NY (he made himself public by signing this on a separate page in the guest book January 16, 2011Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, bullying, cowardice, desecration, Disrespect, elder abuse, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, golddigger, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, scam artist, taking advantage of the sick and dying, theft
My father, wrote his own obituary and death notice for the newspaper.
Joan M. Wheeler took it upon herself to self-publish a new death notice on January 16 in the Buffalo News.
Joan is NOT a legal daughter, nor beloved daughter to Leonard Sippel.
She is scam artist and elder abuser. she is gold-digger. In 1989-1990, she scammed me and stole hundreds of dollars from me. She slanders and libels me in her book and on the internet and in person.
She insulted my father two years ago and he physically had to remove her from his house. On or about November 15, 2010, my father told me “I am done with her. I don’t want to see her.”
On January 3, 2011, he was admitted to Millard Fillmore Suburban Hospital with pneumonia. On January 4, 2011, Joan entered my father’s unlocked apartment, (open to admit Meals on Wheels) and with her stocky boyfriend, got information out of my elderly stepmother who is frail and on permenant oxygen. then Joan and her boyfreind went to the hospital to harass my father. Supposedly Joan apologized to him and Joan’s boyfriend “thinks” (his words to me in an email) that my father forgave Joan. then the boyfreind says “if he didn’t forgive her, that’s his problem.”
My father, 86 years old, in a weakened state, should not have to “forgive” anyone. He was days from his death and Joan brings her guilty conscience to a weak and dying man. Because of this despiscable abuse of a sick and elderly person, Joan Wheeler was barred from the funeral. She was granted a private viewing so she could have time with her male parent. Then in a further evil act, her boyfriend desecrated my father’s guest book with a hate message, signed by “The Herrs.”
This act was witnessed by another guest at the funeral home. She was “frightened” by the man who wrote the hate message.
I, Ruth Sippel Pace, do file this note on public internet this day of January 16, 2010, 2:26am. I initially did not want to acknowledge the hate crime of the man (yes I know his name).
Joan Wheeler, and your boyfriend, Mr. R. T. – you are to stay away from the Sippel Family. If you are seen near us, the police will be called and you will both be charged with harassment.
And no, you did not create any atmosphere of hate between the Ansermin/Sippel family and the Herrs. All members of the Ansermin family, Sippel family, and Herr family are decent loving folk and are not fooled into a war – which is what Joan and her boyfriend want. To desecrate a guest book at a funeral home is the lowest thing a person can do. And then he emails me and preaches. You are found out Mr. R. T. and law enforcement will be notified