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a quick facebook exchange (me and Gert) the evening of Jan. 15, 2012, regarding Joan’s whining on Huffington Post January 15, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Gert Mcqueen

joan reads the blog and after this post was posted, she complainted and got my first two comments removed because I post the blog address. I had checked the guidelines and I read them to say that one could post an address and I have seen others…doesn’t matter, we blogged it all and people have been coming and reading and they do search terms etc

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace

right Gert – we’ve been “censored” before – that’s why we have the blogs – to tell our bare UNcensored truth and the facts AND actual documents that prove that we have told the truth and the FACTS of a situation. A court document that backs up what we say on our blog is a lot more credible than Joan’s “hearsay”

1. gertmcqueenJanuary 15, 2013

watch watch, yes I watch, you never know where I shall see…I remember all that you have done and I shall always find you…you who should be silent


The Flame Against Shame – dedicated to Brian Maloney and Joan Wheeler December 7, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life.
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Flame against Shame

A dear friend of mine wrote this yesterday and with her permission, I am sharing it:

“Never beat yourself down for making mistakes. While you should be rewarding yourself for those mistakes, why? Because you learn to grow and learn from those mistakes. If not so, then you would never be here teaching others. Im one to be the first to apologize and ask forgiveness for my mistakes. Then I reward myself with a quote on my fridge, saying., “Hello I’m such a Human”!.”

The other day, Joan’s puppet Brian said this to me and Gert: “If you were not trying to hide something you might be ashamed of, you would not be trying so hard to discredit what was said.”

First, the beginning of his statement does not correlate with the second part of what he said. – When I am writing about “discrediting” Joan – what I am doing is CORRECTING THE LIES SHE HAS SAID ABOUT ME. For example – in her book and on the internet Joan says that I have a criminal record – NO I DO NOT. Joan says that I have been arrested – I have never been arrested in my life. Joan LIES about me in the book. She says that I went to a fertility clinic – NO I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO A FERTILITY CLINIC. And even I had – where does she have the right to put that in her book?  Joan LIES in her book that in a court case in 1994 her children were on the stand testifying against me – THIS NEVER HAPPENED. Joan LIES in her book that she never harassed me – I have scanned and posted to my blog actual letters that Joan wrote to my fiance and his mother – trashing me – I have scanned and posted to my blog actual letters from Joan to me and Gert wherein she is harassing me after the Erie County District Attorney told her to leave me alone. I have scanned and posted to this blog an actual letter that Joan wrote to my employer falsely accusing me of computer fraud and in this letter to a complete stranger to me – she is giving this man personal details of my health and my private life. Brian- you need to do your homework and SEE WHAT YOUR LITTLE GOODY-TWO-SHOES FRIEND HAS DONE. These documents were sent to Trafford Publishing and this is why the book is dead.

Brian also says: You may very well have your own story to tell, and that may differ from Joan’s. Each person has their own version of how things happened, and each person has the right to free speech.

Well, now let’s take his last sentance first: “each person has the right to free speech.” – so Brian, if each person has the right to free speech, and I therefore have the right to free speech, as you just said, then why are you bitching about what I say here? You just put your foot in your mouth sir.

Brian says: ” Each person has their own version of how things happened,” – Maybe – HOWEVER – I AM RELYING ON ACTUAL CITY OF BUFFALO COURT DOCUMENTS THAT PROVE THAT JOAN’S VERSON OF HOW THINGS HAPPENED IS A LIE. And I don’t need to have a “different version” to know THAT I HAVE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED NOR DO I HAVE A CRIMINAL RECORD. Facts are facts and those are the facts.

These documents have been on this blog for almost three years. Joan has had ample time to examine those documents and refresh her faulty memory and come forth WITH THE TRUTH.

Now as to the accusation that I am hiding something that I might be ashamed of – oh, so now this Reiki healer is stooping to emotional blackmail and threats, just as Joan has done in the past. In her book and on her cyberbullying page Joan threatened us with “exposing secrets” that we don’t want to come out. I have listed here below,in chronological order, SEVEN BLOG POSTS dating from January 3, 2010 to April 4, 2012, where we tell Joan to stop her emotional blackmail – we have nothing to hide and will not be held hostage to Joan’s threats. In fact, here is an additional comment that I wrote on September 21, 2010 in the post numbered 3 below:   I AM A HUMAN BEING WITH MY OWN RIGHTS AND DIGNITIES AND I REFUSE TO BE DICTATED TO BY JOAN WHEELER.   Joan hinted at “secrets” in her book. Secrets that her sister have and are afraid of having put out – we said it once before on this blog and here it is again: WHATEVER SECRETS YOU THINK YOU CAN HOLD HOSTAGE OVER OUR HEADS SPEAK THEM NOW – FOR WE WILL NOT BE HELD FOR EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL BY YOU JOAN! WE WILL NOT OBEY YOU, PROPERLY OR IMPROPERLY.

Now as to being ASHAMED of anything I did in the past: No sir, I am not ashamed of anything I ever did. And Brian had also tried to blackmail me with something I did in the past. But like the fool that he is, he stooped to listening to 30 year old GOSSIP from Joan about a young woman named Shadya. I posted all about her in my post of July 7, 2012.  This post contains scans of a card that I received from Shadya in 1985, putting to rest any filthy gossip about her and me. Grow up gossipers.

To sum up: I met Shadya in 1977, when she was dating the brother of my then husband Abdo. We had gone on a picnic. I thought she was very nice. I did not see for about a month, and one night after Abdo left the house to go to a birthday party and I was home alone, getting ready to go to work, I received a prank phone call. I knew I heard the voice before, but could not place it. But a couple of months later, I talked to Shadya, and recognized her voice. It was she who had made the prank call. She did other things, trying to break me and Abdo up. From 1978 to 1983, yes, Shadya and I did not get along. We had arguments, and one knock-down brawl in September 1979.- She laid hands on me first – so I defended myself. I am not proud of how I behaved, but I am not ASHAMED – there is a difference. I acted badly to this woman. And so did she act badly to me. In 1984, I had a talk with her and I apologized to her. I think I could have handled the situation better than the way I did in 1977, but hey – as my friend said “Never beat yourself down for making mistakes. While you should be rewarding yourself for those mistakes, why? Because you learn to grow and learn from those mistakes.” – Shadya and I forgave each other and in 1985, when I was in the hospital after miscarrying my son, Shadya sent me a card, and when I got home, she called me up and offered to cook several dinners and send them over to me in tupperwares. Shadya no longer lives in Western New York. I know where she lives, and I will NOT tell anyone where she lives. She lives in another state. She is married again. A couple of years ago, on her 50th birthday, we communciated together via facebook. She is doing very well. I am happy for her. She was happy for me that John and I got married, as she had met John in the late 80’s.

So much for Brian trying to get me to feel “ashamed” for what I “did” to an Arab lady whose name begins with an S – as he tried to throw in my face back in July 2012. Oh – by the way, she wasn’t Arab – she was born in the United States to a Puerto Rican woman and an Indonesian/Yemeni man. GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT BEFORE YOU SPREAD GOSSIP JOAN AND REPEAT IT BRIAN!

Shame is a toxic emotion and I do not deal in that. I live my life the way I see fit. I AM a human being who makes mistakes. And from time to time, have made mistakes and mis-quotes on my blog, and when I find them, I don’t just delete and “fix” the post – I OWN UP TO MY MISTAKES – I TELL MY BLOG READERS WHAT I SAID WRONG AND GO ON – NO SHAME INVOLVED. Just as I said above: I have posted actual court documents and even handwritten letters – written by Joan Wheeler herself – that prove that “her side” of the story is a faulty memory at best, or out and out LIES at worst. Joan has had ample time to review those documents and correct her lies and “mistakes.”

I forgave Shadya for what she did to me back in the late 70’s – early 80’s. And I have forgiven myself. Because in 1977 – I was only 25 years old – I am more than twice that age now – and have learned much.


Now Brian – go back and read these posts where we have already addressed the issue of supposedly having little secrets and deeds that we want hidden. As usual, Brian – you are a couple of years late in your research and threats. Grow up little man. REAL men, GROWN-UP men, don’t listen to, repeat, nor believe baseless 30 year old GOSSIP! Get with the times man! This is 2012, not 1983. And we have already dealt with the issues of “little dirty secrets” in these old, posts:

1. attention adopion reformers part 2 January 3, 2010

2. Open letter to and about Joan Wheeler, from her eldest birth sister Gert McQueen January 7, 2010

3. Adoptee’s tantrums nothing special – Childhood bipolar disorder article by child psychologist John Rosemund, September 14, 2010 September 21, 2010

4. Facts are Stubborn Things Part 1 November 10, 2010

5.What is the REAL reason behind Joan Wheeler’s rant on the Huffington Post? March 9, 2011

6. Evidence that Joan Wheeler has violated the Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers March 10, 2011

7.The latest “wisdom” from Joan Wheeler, um, well, actually, she’s trying to show that she has some widsom April 14, 2012


kimberlyhardingDecember 7, 2012

You are so correct- shame is a toxic emotion!!  Keep putting your story out there. It needs to be heard! I love what your friend says about mistakes – mistakes are truly a means for transformation. Thank youl.

3. gertmcqueenDecember 7, 2012[Edit]

Gert here:

Thank you Kim for your insights!


This is correct, Joan has NEVER admitted ANY of her dirty deeds/words…she is always right/correct, everyone else is the problem/trouble-maker, etc.

I did in 1992 FORGIVE her for events she did to me in 82, BUT within 9 hours of seeing me that day, she started more crap; that told me alot; she is EVIL, stay away. Then I heard more of what she did to Kathy and Ruth and somehow we all got along without Joan in our lives. About 8 or 9 years ago, when Dad was ill, I WANTED to put all this behind and I called Joan, she tolded me she LOVED me. No she didn’t cause she had every intention of using that phone conversation for another ‘harassment’ to her, by me…but I didn’t know at the time.

When Joan published in nov 2009, that libelous evil hatred of a book against every member of two families, birth and adopted, she did the worst…character asassination of FAMILY. Not only did she violated, the DIVORCE I had with her and DIDN’T stay away, she continued lying and fabricating in the book. I found out only in 2011 MORE dirty deeds she did to family including asking my daughter to commit a crime for her!

Joan, by writing/publishing that piece of garbage, VIOLATED the peace between every member of our family and NOW she has us TILL DEATH DO WE PART. and that is VOW we will keep…

I was willing many years ago to forgive Joan, attempted to 3 times, but this will never be forgiven, nor forgotten…kin-killing is a crime in many places! Joan is a kin-killer and a soul-killer and she has to live with that reputation! She wanted to tell her story, the way she saw it, fine, NOW she can’t get out of it…TILL DEATH DO WE PART

I am not ashamed of anything in my life, some regrets, but not shame! I have already written/spoken about what Joan thinks she HAS ON ME…silly little sleasy ass…and gossiper that she is…to Brian Maloney who obviously relishes hearing gossip and loves to taunt women! Asshole.

PS while typing I noticed that the word ‘assination’ could be the asassination of an ass…does that apply here…if Joan is an ass…then we are doing ass-ination!

Resistance to facts is futile.If you can’t accept the facts about my life, then by all means – leave this blog. September 7, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Dreams, Inconsistent Angel Things.
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“As I have said more than once, my postings are an invitation to understand, not an invitation to argue” – David Gerrold.

Saturday, September 8, is the 46th anniversary of Star Trek. But this post is not about Star Trek, only in passing.

I had the pleasure of meeting David Gerrold and getting his autograph at one of the first Star Trek conventions in New York, either 1973 or 1974. And I’ve had the privilege the past couple of years to have him as a facebook buddy. David is the inventor of those fuzzy little creatures called Tribbles, and he has written other things too. You can see his stuff at his home page at www.gerrold.com

David is always writing interesting things to get his readers to think about political issues, personal growth, human and civil rights. He passes himself off as a grumpy old man, but I’m not sure that’s the case at all. I think that he, like me and Gert, has a low tolerance for bullshit and stupidity. I’m constantly learning from him.

I’m not a paid professional writer, but I do like to write. I’ve got my blogs, and I do write for the newsletter for my local Star Trek group, the USS Ari. A couple of things that I learned from David about writing: get your science right and do your research. If you don’t have your science right and your facts straight, you may as well chuck your piece in the garbage. David recently posted that 90% of what he does as a writer is RESEARCH.

And this is what we’ve been saying all along – and especially in my post about Joan writing about my childhood neighborhood and indeed, about Buffalo’s East Side. click here. What she saw in the 1970’s was NOT the way it was in the 1950’s! And her silly friend Brian, who trashed my father for relinquishing Joan for adoption in 1956, while he didn’t do the same for his children in 1994 made the same mistake. To compare American society of 1956 to American society of 1994 is a fatal mistake.  And the ages of the children were completely different. Brian’s youngest child was 10 years old, while Joan was a newborn.

Brian made the mistake of not doing his research. Were there daycare centers in 1956? No. What was the welfare system back then? Not much help. Did my father have relatives able to help out with the raising of his children? No.

Most of Joan’s supporters also failed to do their research. In 2006, when her buddy Rene Hoksbergen wrote the foreword to her slanderous book, he failed to get all the facts from her. She showed him a manuscript that was NOT the final product. The final product contained a huge lie about me and him. Now, this adoption expert and author has egg on his face. He was told way back in 1993 to keep his nose out of our family business. He didn’t listen.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – if Joan has the freedom of speech to write a lie about me, then I have the freedom of speech to correct that lie and tell the truth about me. That is what this blog is all about. As well as Gert’s blog.

Joan tells her readers of her now dead book and on her website and various internet forums all these horror stories about her birth sisters – but never backs up her stories with any documented proof. This blog has been in existence since late November 2009 and I have provided actual court documents and letters to prove that what I say is the truth.

If people don’t like what I write on my blog about MY OWN CHILDHOOD and post court documents from the City Court of Buffalo they can just leave and don’t come back. Because as David said on facebook today: “As I have said more than once, my postings are an invitation to understand, not an invitation to argue.”

This blog is an invitation to know the truth behind a libelous book, and not an invitation to argue with me.  

– gratitude extended to David, who graciously gave me permission to use his quote. I owe him hugs, kisses, and a big box of chocolate!

1. gertmcqueenSeptember 7, 2012

Ruth…you did it again!! excellent observations!

When people refuse to let go of their ‘pet theories’ and ‘get with the program’ they are doomed! I’ve seen this time and time again, over the years..I have had far more formidable opponents than Joan Wheeler and Brian Maloney and they, like Joan and Brian didNOT do their homework and therefore lost.

I suggest that every adoptee out there that feels that Ruth and Gert are causing trouble for poor misunderstood adoptee called Joan Wheeler, they really ought to read each and every post on our blogs; there are years worth. Sure such a venture would require some patience because many posts are hard to get through because of our own frustations of having  to deal with an mental nut case who speaks without engaging the brain and many who believe her to be the second coming of the savior and, as in the case of Brian, who must be getting far more out of his association with Joan than what she has to offer…anyone, seems to be totally misinformed about anything!

I am not interested in arguments, been there done that. I am interested in getting Joan Wheeler mouth CLOSED. You don’t like that…tough shit!

Why must Joan Wheeler continue to tell lies about her birth family? September 7, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In her latest blogpost, “Joan Wheeler continues to believe that adoption is an evil that must be stamped out, even as she lies, some more, about the birth family. Gert says:  “So Joan Wheeler will continue on spreading her untruths anywhere she can…but…the birth siblings will also be right there, EXPOSING HER. At some point in time those that are hanging on to her coat tails will ‘let go’ because Joan Wheeler’s reputation is CATCHING UP WITH HER.”

Her latest puppet, who is harassing us at Joan’s request (so she doesn’t get her hands dirty) accused us of “ruining Joan’s reputation.” – not so. We are merely “exposing” her lies.

CNN’s Anderson Cooper’s tagline is “keeping them honest.” Exposing lies of politicians and crooked charities. 60 Minutes has a long history of doing the same thing. What makes Joan so special that HER lies don’t get exposed? Does Joan Wheeler have some sort of special immunity that her lies don’t get exposed? If Joan Wheeler has the freedom of speech to tell a lie in a book and on the internet, then we have the right to expose that lie and replace it with the truth. Especially when that lie is about us and how we lived when we were children. She was born in  January 1956, lived with my uncle on Fox St. in Buffalo and NEVER in our apartment on Smith St. She was given to the Wheelers in April 1956. Shortly after that, the Wheelers moved to a nice suburb of Buffalo.

So why is she writing about where WE lived in the 1950’s and 1960’s. Her excuse once was that she wrote about us only when our lives intersected with hers. What happened in OUR lives betweeen 1956 and 1974 (the year we were reunited with her) HAS NEVER INTERSECTED WITH HER LIFE AND SHE HAS NO BUSINESS WRITING ABOUT IT. Doesn’t matter that she used one of her screen names, because she uses Legitimate Bastard, 1Adoptee, Half Orpan56, all the time and leaves clues as to who she is and who we are. Especially when she signs her real name, or “Joan Wheeler, born as Doris Sippel”

We have said before and it should be said again: We have no objection to her fighting her cause about adoption reform. All she has to do is refrain from telling lies about our childhood, and our family. She needs to stop writing lies about the circumstance of her adoption. MY FATHER WAS NOT COERCED INTO GIVING HER FOR ADOPTION! She needs to stop saying that no one came forth to help my father keep her. IT WAS NOT POSSIBLE FOR HIM TO KEEP HER! Again – there were no day-care centers in 1956. Welfare did not exist as it does now. My father had to work. His parents were elderly, could not take care of 5 little kids, one of them being an infant. My mother’s siblings also could not take her in. My father was approached by my aunt, who was childhood friends with the sister of the man who adopted Joan. My father THEN consulted his parish priest. HE WAS NOT COERCED AT MY MOTHER’S WAKE. The final adoption papers were signed in January 1957. My father had ample time to reconsider his decision. He did not. He stuck to his original decision. This is something that Joan Wheeler must accept and live with. So he was greiving when he made his initial decision -the fact remains: HE HAD TEN MORE MONTHS TO RECONSIDER THAT DECISION. AND HE STUCK WITH HIS FIRST DECISION – THAT BEING THAT THE WHEELER’S WOULD BE JOAN’S PARENTS.

ALSO – my father did have a GED for high school. In the early 50’s he went to night school to study drafting, reading blueprints, etc. In 1955 he became employed by the City of Buffalo as Junior Civil Engineer in the Street Paving and Design Department, where he worked until his retirement in 1988. And he made fairly good money.

Joan Wheeler is constantly saying that our family was “poor” and we lived in a run-down neighborhood. Not so. We did live in a back apartment. So? Some houses are constructed up and down. Front and back. Actually, our apartment was the back AND the whole second floor! Our landlord, Mr. Johnson and his wife had the small one bedroom apartment downstairs in the front.

In the 1950’s and 1960’s, the nieghborhood that we lived in, Smith St. near William St. was vibrant. All along William St. was a bustling shopping district. With a large city playground nearby. There were 2 gas stations, a post office, 3 drug stores, several mom + pop delis, a couple of small variety stores, a liquor store, a butcher store, a large supermarket, a Deco restaurant, and we lived about a mile from Central Terminal, the main hub of railroad passenger and freight service. We also lived a couple of miles from the Broadway/Fillmore shopping district that had banks, major shops and stores.

By the 1970’s, yes, the area began to deteriorate. After we were reunited with Joan in 1974, she went to our old neighborhood (we moved in 1965 after my father bought a house). What Joan saw was our old nieghorhood slowly decaying. It’s called “urban blight” and Buffalo is not the only city this happens to. What she saw in the 70’s was NOT what we saw when we lived there. By the 90’s, however, community re-development took charge. Our playground was demolished and a beautiful senior apartment complex arose. Today, there are vast fields where a lot of Buffalo’s oldest housing stock has been demolished. (yes, my childhood home too). These were structures built in the mid-to-late 1800’s. – Joan really should do her homework when she talks about Buffalo’s East Side. The core area where we lived was built for Polish and German immigrants and blacks who migrated from the southern states. In the late 1800’s and early 1900’s, Buffalo was a boom-town. Very different from what it is now.

And as my father’s finances progressed, he put together a down payment and bought a house – the first in his family to own property. The Wheelers had done the same in 1957. Coincidentally, they lived only a few blocks from where we lived! They moved to a hoity-toity suburb of Buffalo (hence Joan’s tendancy to look down on where and how we lived). Well, geez, my uncle, who took Joan in for the first couple of months of her life, lived on Fox St. – another neighborhood that was quite nice in the 50’s and 60’s and sadly, now, is a crummy drug-infested ghetto.

You cannot see a crummy house and think it was crummy from the day it was built – and this is Joan’s mistake. (well one of her mistakes). She also suffers from the prejudicial statements from her adoptive parents who apparently forgot where they came from, because all her life, Joan was told she came from a family that were “too poor to keep her.” Joan was raised as an only child, spoiled rotten. Her mom hand sewed her pretty dresses. She must have used that line as a way to keep Joan grateful to them for adopting her. That was rotten, but that doesn’t give Joan the right to keep on perpetuating that tired old myth – by writing in her book and online that for Christmas 1956 or 1957, her adoptive parents sent over a xmas tree and presents for us!

This is utter bullshit! MY FATHER WORKED FOR THE CITY OF BUFFALO AND MADE GOOD MONEY. In 1956, my father remarried to an Italian lady, who’s mother doted on me. My father’s parents also doted on us. I recently posted on my facebook about how I got started on my love of mythology. My father’s mother gave me, when I was five years old (1957) – a book on Hiawatha. Even though it is a child book, it has some of the original prose of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. – I still have it in my attic. How do I know what year I got it? – cos my grandmother wrote it in the inside cover! It is a quality book – she had to have paid $$$ for it. (see graphics at end of this post). And that’s just only ONE thing. I remember a lot of the toys we had. Even when we lived with our grandparents for a couple of years while my stepmother was ill. – Just as girls today have dolls to learn makeup and hairdos – we had Toni dolls and Breck dolls (sponsored by Breck shampoo and Toni home perms) we had our very own gym set in the back yard on Smith St. not many kids had those. We had the make believe kitchen sets, with running water! (you filled the resevoir in the back). We had the first Easy Bake Oven. My brothers and I had Roy Rogers and Dale Evans cap gun sets. I had a Lucas McCain rifle (tv’s The Rifleman). Davy crockett coonskin hats, Jim Bowie rubber knives. Mickey Mouse Ears and Tinkerbell wands. We had the Visible V8 engine and chemistry sets. Countless paint by number kits and activity books and water color books and sets. I also had a Howdy Doody doll. METAL not plastic dish and tea sets. Stuffed toys. Cars and fire trucks, my stepbrother John had a rubber John Deere tractor! (which he named Basil – go figure!) We had an Elsie the Cow doll.

WE DIDN’T NEED CHARITY FROM THE WHEELERS OR ANYBODY ELSE AND JOAN WHEELER NEEDS TO STOP SAYING THAT BULLSHIT THAT WE RECIEVED IT. In her comments on that site that Gert references in her blog post – Joan also mentions “Catholic Charities.” Yes, our family availed ourselves with their services – AFTER MY STEPMOTHER BECAME ILL! – after Joan was adopted! I don’t know what kind of health insurance my father had back then, but I suspect he had the same problems back then as most families have today. Raising a family of 5 kids is expensive! And in those days, it was NOT the norm for the wife to work. So we were a one-income family, with the added burden of illness. Doctor and other bills to pay. My stepmother was mentally ill and an alcoholic. What Catholic Charities provided for us was social work. NOT monetary contributions. By 1959, when my stepmother was placed in the psych center, we were sent to a foster home and an orphanage. Again, I don’t know the financial obligations of all of that – but I think you have to pay some sort of child support, plus there was the doctor and hospital bills for my stepmother. But even in the foster home, there was still plenty of ample food, clothes and toys. And as I said, in 1965, my father bought a house, taking on a second job as a salesman at Sears. Teenagers in the 60’s were just as expensive then as they are today! But we were NOT poor!

And as far as Joan quoting my father as saying “if I had more education…” blah blah blah – my father was a carpenter. After he bought his house in 1965, he did extensive remodeling. He built a bedroom in the basement! Do you know how much money carpenters make?  My father could have taken that route for a career. (and I do not consider it a menial job at all – to create things with your hands is hardly menial. FYI – one of today’s greatest actors – Harrison Ford worked as a carpenter.- if carpentry is good enough for Han Solo and Indiana Jones, then I’m proud of my dad too!) And don’t forget – Jesus was a carpenter too, having learned the craft from his father Joseph.

So why is Joan NOT proud of the man who gave her the greatest gift of all? – HER OWN LIFE? No, all she can do is write put-down after put-down of him – and us.

AND THAT NEEDS TO STOP. And until she does – this blog, and Gert’s blog will be right here, taking Joan’s bullshit and telling the truth of us and our family.

I didn’t feel like going up to the attic and dragging my copy of Hiawatha down and taking pictures of it – I did find it on google. Apparently it was a 1951 edition, adapted by Allen Chaffee and illustrated by Armstrong Sperry. This is no “Little Golden Book.” This is large – larger than your average 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper.  This is an old friend of mine, along with my Heidi book, another present from my grandmother – which I also still have.

1. gertmcqueen

Right on Ruth!!! Our lives and our family’s lives, our friends, our lovers, our husbands, our children, where and how we lived and any minor or major aspect of our lives have been EXPOSED EXPLOITED AND LIED ABOUT by Joan Wheeler. We shall never stop in exposing these lies and righting our honor. People don’t like it, that’s just too bad.

 2. Ruth

you dam right Gert – if I, Ruth Pace, want to talk about MY childhood – that is my right! anybody got a problem with that? stuff it.

I know what MY life is and was – Joan was NOT there! She knows NOTHING about my life. And I have a dam good memory! I have what is called an eidetic memory – that means I remember things in details. I can remember colors, smells, actual words, the weather, I remember events like my father walking me to Sacred Heart School for a Halloween party – which must have been Halloween 1958. I remember the Christmas party in Sacred Heart’s downstairs gymnasium, around 1958 as well – I actually remember eating a tangerine and walnuts! I remember the Halloween party at the orphanage 1959 – I remember the black and orange crepe paper draping from the cieling, and bobbing for apples. I remember the school year recital at the orpanage where me and my brother Butch tapdanced to the tune of – well I don’t know the title of the song but it went “H-A-Double R -I, G-A-N spells Harrigan.” I remember seeing the 7th Voyage of Sinbad in the auditorium of the orphanage, a first run film, for the kids at the orphan home!

I remember bringing home the living room lamps with my stepmother and stepbrother. She carried the lamps – decorated with antique cars, and me and John each carried a shade. We got them from the S+H green stamp redemption center on the fifth floor of downtown’s Hens + Kelly store.


And if Joan and her deluded friends don’t like it – they can go you-know-where!

RE: Joan Wheeler (Forbidden Family) – The Truth is Out There. And we have brought it forth. August 31, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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We have used actual court documents that prove the truth.

NOTE see end of this post for update

We have used actual handwritten letters – written by Joan Wheeler herself.

These documents have been scanned and posted on this blog.

They are undeniable.

Who so ever denies the truth that is revealed by these documents is an idiot.

How does one explain the discrepency between what is written in a libelous book and websites, and an actual Buffalo City Court document? If the person REFUSES to explain the difference, yet continues to scream and rant that the libelous book told the truth – that person cannot be called rational. If their friend takes the same postion and performs the same actions (refusing to explain the difference, and continues to promote a proven lie as truth), that person is also NOT RATIONAL.

Two plus two equals 4. That is the Truth. No amount of neurotic attempts to change it to equal 5 will ever work. Facts are facts.

Joan Wheeler lied in her book Forbidden Family. I have posted actual Buffalo City Court documents on this blog that irrefutibly proves this. No amount of neurotic attempts to change it will succeed.

Also: anybody who says it is Joan Wheeler’s “point of view” that certain things happened the way she reports in her book, is also being irrational.

Again, 2 + 2 equals 4. That is a FACT! Having a “point of view” that 2 plus 2 equals 5 is erroneous, delusional and irrational.

Having a point of view that an order of protection was for the duration of one year, when in reality it was for six months, is erroneous, delusional and irrational. Refusing to acknowledge the actual Buffalo City Court document that states a judges decree of SIX MONTHS, is erroneous, delusional and irrational. To keep insisting that such order of protection was for one year, is the sign of an irrational lie. For a friend to keep insisting that Joan is NOT  lying, is a sign that that friend is also irrational. For the friend to REFUSE to also acknowledge an actual document from a City of Buffalo Court, and signed by a City Court Judge shows us that that friend is indeed irrational. Further, for the friend to state that I, who was the recepient of court order, and who scanned the document and posted it to this blog, has mental problmes because I am presenting the cold hard facts, shows us that this friend is the one with mental problems. Because I have only presented a court document. If I, Ruth, have mental problems because I believe what is written on the court document, then the entire judicial system in the city of Buffalo is also flawed, the prosecuters, lawyers, clerks, warrant officers, bailiffs and judges all have mental problems. This is a clear sign of irrationality for ANYone, be it a personal friend of Joan Wheeler or internet supporters. If ANYone says that an actual court document is NOT the truth, but the irrational claims of a person who readily admits that she is having mental problems and has been in therapy for more 30 years, IS the truth (or her point of view) shows that they themselves are NOT rational.

The Truth WAS out there – it is now here – on this blog, on my sister Gert’s blog. No amount of irrational ranting by Joan Wheeler or her buddy Brian T. Maloney will change that. No amount of harassing bullying and name calling and judgments on my life, my career, my personal choices in food, entertainment, or recreational activities will ever change me, or my mission:


UPDATE MAY 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor!





Reality is Truth. But all Joan Wheeler knows is self-delusions, fantasies, and lies July 15, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Ruth Pace

I was listening to an old motivational tape of mine and stumbled upon the following. It is from a tape that I had labeled “Living Without Limits.” I didn’t write down the speaker’s name, but I think it  might be Dr. Wayne Dyer. I transcribed the part of the lecture that I thought is very pertinent to this problematic person Joan Wheeler, who doesn’t seem to differentiate between reality/truth and fantasy/lies. Here is the transciption of the lecture:

And now for the first component of living without limits which could very well be described as the foundation for survival itself, and that is, REALITY.

Now what exactly do I mean by reality? I don’t want to be misunderstood here. Well my definition of reality is very simple and straightforward. Reality isn’t the way you wish things to be or the way they appear to be but the way they actually are.

Now by the way you wish things to be, I’m referring to the constant struggle that takes place within each of us between the real and the ideal. Between reality and what we would like reality to be. And it’s absolutely imperative that you learn to differentiate between the two.

Reality is Truth. And unfortunately the real problem is that most people do not love Truth. But instead they try to make true that which they love. They have it backwards.

As Robert De Ropp says in his fascinating book “The Master Game,” “Man inhabits a world of delusions. And because of these delusions, makes dangers for himself and others.”

Reminds me of Ashleigh Brilliant, the great humorist, some of you may be familiar with, who once remarked, “I have abandoned my search for truth and am now looking for a good fantasy.”    

Seriously, I totally agree with DeRopp, I think self-delusion is probably the chief cause of most unhappiness in the world today.

In my comment to my last post, I refer to Joan’s cyberbullying page, where she has posted lies about me and my sisters. Some of them twisting of the facts. For example she has posted on that site, that I got her phone number from my father – yes I did. On November 3, 2009 – because my then 85 year old father was tired and I calledJoan AS A FAVOR to tell her that a family member died. On the phone Joan subjected me to a barrage of yelling obscentities that even her daughter (who in an email exchange via myspace the next day, came running down the stairs to see what her mother was screaming about).

So here is some info: “Doris Ohl was born June 05, 1919 in Buffalo, Erie, NY, and died October 31, 2009 in Silver Creek, NY. She married (1) Michael W. Herr in Buffalo, Erie, NY, son of Jacob Grant Herr and Gertrude H. Stoll. She married (2) Lou LoManto.”

Doris and Michael were Joan’s original godparents, and Joan Wheeler’s original name was Doris Michol Sippel. (None of this information is private, Joan plasters this all over the internet, and the info on Doris was taken from an online internet family tree. 

Addendum: July 16, 3:00am, ok, I was doing research – do you know that hotmail saves EVERY email you send? So I found the original email from my Uncle. —

From:   To:   Subject: RE: Aunt Doris
Date: Tue, 3 Nov 2009 08:39:56 +0000

Hi Uncle Rich
thank you forwarding this to me. Can you send me Wayne’s email so I can send him my condolences?
Everything is going fine. I had a small vacation, which I used for housework. lol. all the stuff you never seem to get to, like getting behind furniture and degreasing cabinets. Also had to clean out the utility room. got a new washing machine, the old one went kaput. I found some missing socks amidst the dust bunnys back there. lol.

Date: Sun, 1 Nov 2009 08:33:33 -0500
To:  Subject: Fw: Aunt Doris

Received this from Wayne about his Mother (Uncle Mikes first Wife.)
Dad, Opa and Uncle Rich
—–Forwarded Message—–
From: Wayne D Herr
Sent: Nov 1, 2009 7:57 AM
To: silverdick1 .. judy , Richard Herr

We spent a very hard week this week, but last night @ 9:45pm  Mom pasted after a very hard week for her. I believe she is happy now, she was ready. Eileen and I were with her so she did not have to die alone. This past sunday she told me she was going to see Edmund and she might even talk to Michael. Thank you for your prayers.



Joan’s self-delusions and the facts are that Joan cannot accept the REALITY and the TRUTH that her “mean and nasty” sister Ruth couldn’t possibly call her on the phone for the simple reason of doing her father (and Joan) a FAVOR. Further, she cannot STAND for the TRUTH of the phone call to be made public. Instead, Joan twists the FACTS of the event of November 3, 2009 and reports it on the internet that I called her as an act of harassment.

The phone call was made by ME, around 5pm. Later that evening, around 10pm, I emailed my niece, Joan’s daughter via myspace. We were myspace buddies and facebook buddies at the time. Here is the transcription of the email exchange between her and me, and the graphics are the actual screen shots of that exchange that I captured on July 14, 2011.  I also have included a screen shot of Joan’s blog (also captured on July 14, 2011, that shows Joan’s version of the phone call. Notice she says really nothing about the phone call. Because deep down, she knows the TRUTH about that phone call – that I obtained the phone number from a tired 85 year old man, as  A FAVOR TO BOTH HIM AND JOAN to let Joan know that her original godmother and namesake had died. AND Joan fails to tell everyone HER subsequent actions! After screaming obscenities at me, subjecting me to verbal emotional abuse, she then called my father and SCREAMED AT HIM – AN 85 YEAR OLD MAN, WHO WAS NOT FEELING WELL THAT DAY! That is called ELDER ABUSE! And of course, Joan doesn’t tell what happened when SHE made an abusive phone call to an elderly man – that the call was terminated when the tired elderly man HUNG UP ON HER!

So why isn’t the COMPLETE TRUTH about that phone call of November 3, 2009 published on Joan’s blog? Because she doesn’t want to tell the truth – she always presents HER twisted version of the truth – she wants people to think that I, Ruth Pace am a bitch, and all I do is harass her by getting her phone number from relatives and call her up and bother her. But Joan can whine on a forum that when another relative died, she wasn’t notified – well, because when she was notified of a relative’s passing, she went all f’ing crazy! Who does Joan thinks she is? That she can treat people like dirt and they have to accept it? This is why Joan is an outsider – she has no family – either birth or adoptive – BECAUSE SHE HAS ALWAYS TREATED US LIKE DIRT.

So here is the transcript of the myspace email:

  Nov 3, 2009 RE: something happened today
Ladymoondancer ~ saysTo: *~*~They call me Cat, Kit… (@myspacecom)  I got an email, (from a relative)that my Uncle Mike’s first wife Doris died on Saturday, Oct. 31. Uncle Mike and Aunt Doris were your mom’s original godparents and she was named for them (Doris Michol).
so I thought she should know about it. I called the old number but it was disconnected so I called my father and he gave me your mom’s number. So I called her. She asked how I got the number. I told her. She said “Big mistake.” then she said she didn’t want any contact from me. Fair enough I thought. She was calm at this point, but then she said tersely, “Thank you for telling me about Aunt Doris, but I do not want to hear from you. My mother is dying.” (I have heard this, and I felt bad, I thought, shit, this is bad getting bad news now and all.
But then you mom said, “She (her mom) does not want to hear from you.” (I was not calling for her). Then your mom started screaming about her sisters. She said that I threw her out of the family.
Cathy, I just sat there staring at my computer screen. I was in shock. She was screaming so hard I could not understand what she was saying. I did hear “you are not my sister.” She was ranting and raving. I started crying. I didn’t know what to do. All I did was call her to tell her that her godmother had died. I got angry. I did not call to make trouble. I swear to you Cathy. I did not. I swear on the soul of my unborn son that I lost in 1985. I did not call to make trouble, but dammit, why should I be subjected to her verbal abuse? So I said “You know what? You’re right. You’re not my sister. You don’t know how to behave like a sister. so fuck you.”  and then I hung up.
Cathy, I was so upset. I wanted to go to my dad’s house. I left my house with my washing machine running. I only grabbed a sweater and my keys. I was still in my slippers. I was crying so hard then when I was on Genesee St. I couldn’t see. I stopped at my cousin’s house and she calmed me down. I went on to my Dad’s. In the meantime, she had called him and when she started screaming at him, he hung up on her.
He had told me a couple of weeks before that he had thrown her out of his house because she was whining again about no money. He told her to get a job, like we have all been telling her for the past 25 years. She said she didn’t like Polish people. Well his mother came from Poland and we are all part Polish, so what the heck? She wanted money from him to fix her car.
When I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from the Town of Tonawanda police that “Ruth Sippel Pace, Gertrude McQueen and Kathy Inglis are NOT to have any contact with Joan Wheeler.”
Now where did Gerty and Kathy get in this?
I swear to you Cathy, your mom needs a psych consult. My father said she is mentally ill, and I see that. I am sorry to tell you this, but I believe it. All she had to say was, “Thank you for telling me about Aunt Doris. Goodby.”
there was no reason for her to off on me like she did, or call the cops on me. If she hauls me into court for harassment, all she is going to get is a psych consult. Because I will insist on it. She threatened my life once before. The district attorney knows this.
I am not going to write to you again about this. I just wanted you to know what went down. I undertstand that she is your mother and you love her.
But geez, she is my little sister, I love her too. Why the hell would I have called to tell her about Aunt Doris? I can’t stand this anymore. I’m done. I didn’t call her to make trouble I swear. I won’t make the same mistake again. (Ruth’s note, July 15, 2011 – This was all written on November 3, 2009, just a couple of weeks before Joan’s book was published. Notice how I tell my neice that Joan is “my little sister and I love her.” Because why would I have been crying like that from getting abuse from someone whom I loved? BUT when I read that horrible book – when I saw how almost every page was lie and hate against me over and over and her disgusting things she said about my mother’s deadbody my heart turned to stone against her. Yes, after 30 years of crap from her, there was still love there, but no longer. And Joan did all to herself. Yes, I mention my son that I lost – June 1985, Saied Ali, my heart. After years of trying to concieve, and I lost my only child. And Joan was there – she drove me home from the hospital – and in her book, she makes a mockery of my miscarriage. My only child – my baby, and Joan mocked his loss. – That is why any remaining love I had for Joan left me when I read that filthy book). now, back to the original email of Nov. 3, 2009″

ps I already shredded the piece of paper that I wrote her phone number on. I did not memorize it. I swear to you, I will not call her, I will not drive over there. I will not contact her. I am done. I try to do the right thing and all I get is a kick in the teeth AGAIN. no more.

 Nov 4, 2009 RE: something happened today
*~*~They call me Cat, Kitty Cat*~*~ saysTo: Ladymoondancer ~
look im sorry bout wat has happened. 
 i originally wrote a message earlier but then i guess time warner decided to have a hiccup so it never sent, which gave me another chance to write with out being so mad. i am very sorry bout aunt doris’s passing. its too bad yet another person who probably was good has gone. i am sorry that mom did that. i guess my question to u is- y would u think shed wanna hear some one has passed, coming from u?…..u know better.lol. as to how she feels and how u feel. i think it best to stay clear of us. i would not tempt her. i know u said u wipe ur hands of her. not to sound like a bitch- but it would be best. i hope this means Kathy and Gertrude too. no contact with her at all. no smart things from her blogs or anykind of publication she has. she has it in her head u all are like gonna do ur best to hurt her….which if u r i have to say- so not cool……anyways, i understand u all r getting old, but my mom has good reason to think none of u wont try anything- the wheeler’s r fucking nuts!…well u sippels are a piece of work too….lol… i want to make it clear that none of u will not come into contact with my mom, my brother, or my nana- none of them want it or can handle it. as for me. if either of the other 2 wanna have any contact- they will have to ask u to write me a message via myspace. i do not want any disturbances from anyone- i want my own life. i deserve it. i wanted things to go different- i hoped everyone would get over everything so that when times like these came- we’d all be civil. i was surely wrong. mom just has alot of hurt. not saying none of u dont, but i see it of course more form her. if any one else passes- let maryelle or joselyn contact mom. gpa sippel should have known better not to give my moms number out to anyone. so yea- i was there kind of when u called. i was taking a shower- and thought something was wrong. she was crying and yelling that u had called. i got mad and thought- here we go again. i told her i didnt give a crap bout watever happened between u 2. but yea she was very distrought. so please- fo my sake- no more contact, ever- from any of u in any form. leave her alone- let her write her lil things online- its a free country and the internet is free- i mean we allow freaky ass porn!- let her do her shit in peace. let her, my brother and my nana be in peace. and im sorry for the way everything went down. it was a fragile time for everyone and i am sorry. i wish i knew this doris woman, she must have been a good woman. and please- no response to this other than- telling me that u will keep ur promise and tell the other 2 to stay away from us. thanks, and sorry again.

Nov 4, 2009 RE: something happened today
Ladymoondancer ~ saysTo: *~*~They call me Cat, Kit…

o(k I hear ya.
I agree with you that it was not a smart thing to call. but as I said, I only wanted to let her know about Aunt Doris.
but you know, you are a little unfair. you say steer clear of Dennis and your Nana. I understand you are only looking out for your family. I am not looking to call them. Neither is Gert or Kathy.
As for your mom’s blog, well, yeah, it’s a free country and all, like you say, so why is it, that only the sippels must censor themselves? Your mom can go on and on and say this and that about us. but the minute we say ANYTHING, it’s always, “don’t do that. it will hurt Joni.”
What about my hurt? Do you think I like being labeled scum of the earth? When all I ever did was set limits? Like telling your mom and dad, that I will not be disrespected?
Did I ever call somebody’s place of employment for 6 months straight and tell them that they have a thief and a computer hacker working for them? do you know how embarrased I was? do you know how embarrased I was when I met Mayor Anthony Maseilo and he saw my name tag and said, “Ruth Sippel, now where do I know that name from?” from the crazy letters your mom wrote to him. When here I am, at a symposium for block clubs, and passed a course at the Buffalo Police Academy, doing things in local government, only to have the mayor look at me like I’m crazy thanks to your mom.
So I’m supposed to sit back and let this happen to me year after year after year?
Or your mom calling the immigration department in England to scheme to have Kathy deported from there and sent back to Buffalo, when it was always Kathy’s dream to live there. Or how Kathy gets a letter from some college professor in Holland who proceeds to tell Kathy how to live her life because your mom has told him some lies about her.
So we are supposed to get hurt over and over?
And everything was ok for the past few years until your mom goes on the internet on her blog and singles out THE SIPPEL SISTERS. and slanders us.
internet is free speech? ok, so I have the free speech too. It works both ways. and this is something your mom refuses to see.
She wants us to respect our privacy, and not to gossip about her,  but she runs into Francine’s brother and then starts telling him about what a bitch I am. And he’s like, hey, I’ve known Ruth since I was 1 year old, and she’s my aunt, and who is this whackjob and then he finally has to tell her to shut up in the middle of the muffler shop and he gets his boss looking at him, and I have to hear it from his other brother.
As for the Sippels being a piece of work, well yep. That’s right. Gert put herself thru school and became a dental hygeinist. Worked for the government. Retired a few years, is now an artist. Kathy scrimped and saved and emigrated to another country, became an accomplished guitarist and school teacher. Me, I have held the same job for 37 years. Am renovating my home. Was a professional dancer for a time. Board member of the Beledi Club, an organization for belly dancers. organized and head up the block club on my street. My brother before he died, worked in a hospital, studied medieval warfare. And all of us are artists and writers. I am head of a local Star Trek fan group.
And all of us have never stolen money from each other, maybe have snipped at snapped at each other, but always came back to hugs and kisses. Never tried to set each other up with the police and the courts. Never been arrested. Never sent false letters telling them that their spouse was unfatithful, never called false child abuse on each other.
As for my father “should have known better to give your mom’s phone number out.”
Why? I told him why I was going to call her. So she got kicked out of his house a few weeks ago? And whose fault is that?
so everything is always the fault of somebody else. Your mom is mentally ill, there is no reasoning with her. I am not out to hurt her. Neither are my sisters. But ask yourself, who is out to hurt whom? Do you think I was just all happy go lucky to open a letter and read my spouse got a women pregnant, and the house was vacant? So it was a lie.
And why did your mom sent me that? to have me say, O I’m so happy to hear this letter. No, the person who is doing the hurting is your mom. And then she gets surprised to find out that nobody likes her. or wants her in their life. and she has only herself to blame.

and now, here’s Joan’s version of that phone call, short and sweet, but all twisted to make it sound that I was harrassing her. Who’s the liar?

 1. Gert McQueen – July 15, 2011
Ruth reports in the above post that…

When I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from the Town of Tonawanda police that “Ruth Sippel Pace, Gertrude McQueen and Kathy Inglis are NOT to have any contact with Joan Wheeler.” Now where did Gerty and Kathy get in this?

Gert here:
When I was told about that phone message, I got the police phone number and officer’s name from Ruth and I call him. He told me that I HAD NOTHING TO WORRY about because that police station, where Joan Wheeler lives, KNOWS ALL ABOUT HER. They recognize her constant calls about harassments and that I ought to just ignore the phone message.

As I told the police, HOW DID two other people, miles and an ocean away from Joan Wheeler get lumped together with another person who made a LEGITMATE phone call? The reason is because Joan Wheeler lumps the three of us together as one unit and believes that we are OUT TO GET HER. The police are FULLY AWARE of Joan’s behavior and mental outlook.

In January of this year, just before our Dad died, Joan had gone unannouced to Dad’s home, where she was told NOT TO GO TO, and she gave a phone number to my step-mother who threw it in the garbage. In other words no body wanted the number. Days later, when the decision was made to call Joan and inform her of Dad’s passing, the question was asked ‘where is Joan’s phone number?’ and the answer was ‘IN THE GARBAGE’. It was fished out in order to phone Joan to inform her of Dad’s death and WHEN she was able to have her personal and private (away from all family members) viewing.

To be perfectly clear…no one WANTS Joan’s number, in fact we all wish she would remove her TWO WEB sites that are slanderous, libelous and full of lies about us and our families and fade into the sunset…

It’s time for Joan Wheeler to get the message…you have lost, give it up already!!

 Ruth – July 15, 2011
Gert is right to point out that in January of 2011, Joan shows up at our father’s house WHERE SHE WAS TOLD NOT TO COME. We see here, Joan’s double standard. She is thrown out of our father’s house late summer 2009, and told never to return – reason? She insulted my father’s blood lineage (and her own – what an idiot) and his religion. (boy I know that one – because she insulted my relgion, AND Gert’s, AND Kathy’s).

ALSO – the day my father died, January 11, 2011, my husband and I rushed to the hospital. There were a total of 8 family members there – and then my brother and his girlfriend came, making a total of 10. While we were saying our goodbyes to Dad, the phone rang – my stepsister answered it, it was Joan. She held the phone at arms length – “what should I tell her?” We all shook our heads – my stepmother said “I don’t want her here.” M. said on the phone, “sorry, you just missed him.” and hung up. 20 minutes later, the phone rang again. I picked it up. “This is Joan Wheeler, can I speak to my father?” I said, “sorry, he’s not available.” Hey – he could have been in x-ray or getting a ct scan! But then Joan starting calling his house and leaving messages AFTER SHE HAD BEEN TOLD NOT TO CALL THE HOUSE!

Gert reported to me later that she went with our stepmother and was sitting at the kitchen table while my stepmother was clearing her messages and on one message Joan says “I will keep calling until I find out about my father.”

Who the hell does she think she is? She was told DON’T CALL. Yet she calls and ADMITS that she will keep calling an elderly woman! This is HARASSMENT and ELDER ABUSE!

And this two-faced bitch gets on the internet and reports that I harassed her when I merely called to tell her that her namesake died? And further calls an elderly man and screams at him for giving me her phone number?

Oh, so let me get this straight – JOAN CAN GIVE OUT ORDERS AND BITCH AND COMPLAIN WHEN SOMEBODY GOES AGAINST THOSE ORDERS! But when Joan is GIVEN the same dam orders, (don’t call) – SHE CAN IGNORE THE ORDERS!

Oh no way Joan honey, you don’t get to be a dam dictator, and tell everyone how to run their lives, and disregard their set boundaries. And then report on the internet how people go against YOUR dictated orders, but don’t report how YOU go against other people’s wishes.

Now you know why people HATE Joan and run the hell away from her!

2. Ruth – July 15, 2011 
Here’s an interesting email I just got from Gert – who was reminiscing about Joan and her ways.

“I remember a time when I came to visit Dad, and I took Ginette (our stepmother) shopping and she told me that when Joan would take her shopping Joan would put items in the cart and not until they got to the check out would Joan mention that she put the items in the cart and she didn’t have any money to pay them. Ginette said she never told Dad!! what a slease ball she is….

I remember when she invited us over, when she had her first apartment, and she said she was going to have spagetti and meatball and I have to bring the meat! And ofcourse I did…

Ruth here – yep – this is the kind of shit that Joan has done to us year after year – she’s a scam artist, a thief – her and her ex-husband scammed me out several hundred dollars!

Oh, I know how sweet and lovely and how innocent she can portray herself to be. I am a very intelligent person – I am very computer savvy, I own my house, have worked at my job for going on 39 years, trained to be a union steward, am well respected by my peers and colleagues,and yet got scammed! That is why I’m not too surprised at Jennifer Willett, Pastor Ruth Willert, Mara, Heather, Daisy, Laura, and others who listen to Joan’s whines and all think that I am a bitch and Joan is the saint. — Joan has a way of sugar coating things – and is very very sneaky. She knows that civil, well mannered people are NOT going to make a fuss at the checkout – and my stepmother is no dummy either – She was educated at the Sorbonne University in Paris (French version of Yale or Harvard).

This is the purpose of this blog – to shed the light on the misdeeds and the words of the bully called Joan Mary Wheeler.

4. Ruth – July 19, 2011
Just wanted to add a little thing about the myspace email exchange between me and my niece – my niece didn’t respond further.

Because she knew what I said was true, and COULDN’T respond, for all her bravado on saying “the Sippels are a piece of work.” – cute little dig there, I see the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. – But when I said she was unfair and pointed out that yeah, we Sippel siblings have careers and jobs and interests and DON’T mess with people – she couldn’t respond.

And as for her saying in regards to her mother putting stuff on the internet, “let her write her lil things online-” and I tell her NO WAY! Guess she couldn’t respond to that one either!

My stepmother told me in 2004 that my niece had a bit of a mouth on her – oh yeah? humph – she mouthed off all right and when she got put in her place – that was the end of that!


I do not take slander and libel against me laying down, whether it is in print or on the internet. And no, I will NOT let Joan write her lil things online – because those “lil things” are lies and slander designed to TARNISH MY REPUTATION along with other members of my family.

Bellowing the Truth – We Sippel Sisters are damn good at it! June 30, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Lessons in Life, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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by Ruth Sippel Pace

Bellowing the Truth

“He who does not bellow the truth when he knows the truth makes himself the accomplice of liars and forgers.” — Charles Peguy

On the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change discussion forum is a member who calls herself Daizy. The above quotation by Charles Pequy is Daizy’s “signature,” which gets added to the bottom of every one of her posts.

Now I can’t be 100% sure that this Daizy is the Daisy who left that recent stupid comment here on this blog, daring to lecture me and my sisters about this blog. Daisy says that we should just chalk Joan’s LIES up to being Joan’s “opinion,” and ignore her.

No Way! We Sippel Sisters are BELLOWING the truth!

Now if Daizy on the forum and Daisy who left the comment here are the same, she’s got a lot of dam nerve to come here and condemn us for bellowing the truth of OUR LIVES after Joan has LIED about them. Even if Daisy is not Daizy – she still has a lot of nerve telling me that I can’t tell the truth about MY life. Why can’t I Daisy? If Joan can tell a lie about me, I don’t have the right to tell the truth about me? It don’t work that way – and neither Joan nor Daisy is the boss of me.

But I’ve noticed something about Joan and the other adoptees, they want the TRUTH exposed about their birth certificates, their birth families, the circumstances of their conception, their relinquishment to adoption, they DEMAND the truth! However, I see that they only want TRUTH exposed when it suits them. They don’t want anyone else to tell the truth. Sorry guys, just because you got shafted, doesn’t give you the right to turn around and shaft somebody else. Because when you do that – you’re just as bad as the ones who shafted you. You don’t have the right to run roughshod over anybody else in this world – and if you do – be prepared for the consequences of your actions. This blog is the consequence of an adoptee’s action –  because   Joan Wheeler, decided that  SHE got shafted when she was adopted, she would now shove the shaft through her birth sisters. No way baby!

This whole blog has been condemned by the adoptees! Why? Because we dare to tell the truth about something we know very well about – our own dam lives! But it’s okay for Joan to tell LIES about our lives? Hey – adoptees – I’m talking to YOU guys – why is it okay in your (ahem) book for Joan Wheeler to tell lies, but it’s NOT okay for US to tell the truth?? Not that I give a dam about you guys – I don’t NEED your permission to write about MY own life!

This blog is about us sisters standing up to a lying bully – and shedding light on her lies and misdeeds. And if Joan or anyone else don’t like that – well that’s just too dam bad.

We Sippel Sisters are BELLOWING OUR TRUTH.

1. Gert McQueen – June 30, 2011
To paraphrase Jack Nicholson’s character in the movie “A Few Good Men”…
‘you want the truth?…you CAN’T handle the truth! because it scares you to KNOW the truth…

Mahatma Gandhi said:

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.

A ancient Anglo-Teutonic wisdom says:

You are your Deeds, the only thing that will remain,
when you die, is your reputation.

think about it!

That is why we sisters tell the truth!

Daisy has Commented – and Ruth answers! June 28, 2011

Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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On June 22, Daisy says this:

I think that the fact that you spend so much time on this issue suggests you have a problem. If you were secure in yourself, you would be able to just think, “Well, that’s her opinion,’ and let it go. Instead, you seem to work constantly to escalate this to the point of scary. If I was your sister, I’d get a restraining order as well as a cease and desist order. And I’d ask the court to recommend you get some psychiatric help.

And on June 28, I say this in reply:

Daisy – you need to READ the blog AND Joan’s book before you comment – it is JOAN who needs psychiatric help. She says in her book that I, Ruth have an arrest record and a criminal record, when I do not. THAT is NOT her opinion, that is slander and libel. And I have every right to answer her lies.
As to scary – scary is when someone (Joan) gets on discussion forums (The Huffington Post) and says that I was sexually molested by my grandfather when I was child. When I was not. (amendment – explanation, June 29, 2011, 3:30 pm). This was in March 2011. and NO, I was not sexually abused as a child. And if I were – how does Joan DARE to put that on the internet? Within a half an hour of Joan posting it – a complaint was sent to Huffington Post, Joan’s comment was removed, her account canceled. Now talk to me of scary Daisy – Joan needs to apologize to every victim of child sexual abuse, because instead of taking that horrendous crime seriously, she USED it as a weapon against me and my sisters.  And on top of that – someone of her own family suffered through that crime – and Joan knows it – she was there – caring for the victim. To turn that pain around and USE it to try to hurt her sisters –  Now tell me who needs psych help Daisy. We blogged about that incident on March 7 and in these posts: What is the REAL reason behind Joan Wheeler’s rant on the Huffington Post? and Evidence that Joan Wheeler has violated the Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers. This last post was because Joan, who loves to boast that she is a social worker (even though she never had a job as such) violated the code of of ethics of social workers when she blabbed on the internet about a (supposed) child sexual abuse victim.


Scary is when someone (Joan) gets on the internet, names MY employer, and accuses me of computer hacking, when I have not done this. THIS is scary – that I could possibly lose my job because of JOAN’S lies! –
Fear not – Joan tried that in 1994 – six months of continued calls to my employer trying to get me fired – administration had a meeting and told all persons throughout the hospital to hang up when Joan Wheeler called! –
For you, Daisy, to not read what I’ve been saying is the truly scary part – because you seem as though you need some therapy yourself.

Now, I further say this to Daisy and everyone else: If Joan has the Freedom of Speech to self-publish a book that contains slander and libel about me, I have the Freedom of Speech to answer her on this blog.

Further, since I have in my possession actual BUFFALO CITY COURT RECORDS that attest to the fact that I, Ruth Sippel Pace was NOT placed under arrest, and was NOT sentenced to probation, and submitted copies of these documents to Trafford Publications, the publisher of Joan’s book, and cited the pages that Joan said that I was arrested and placed on probation, it was PROVEN that Joan LIED in her book about me. Therefore, her book was pulled from publication.




Daisy, you say that I have a problem – yes I do – this sort of thing IS POTENTIALLY DAMAGING TO MY CAREER! Daisy, how would YOU like it if I got on the internet and named YOUR employer and accused YOU of computer hacking? Answer truthfully – YOU WOULD NOT LIKE IT. That is not Joan’s “opinion” that I am a computer hacker – that is a LIE!

Amendment, June 28, 6:30pm:

 In driving in to work just now, (and before Joan gets a conniption fit and starts talking shit again – I am NOT clocked in – I still have a half hour before I start work – and I am on my personal laptop, NOT hospital property) –  anyway, in my van, I was listening to a motivational tape that featured entrepreneur and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar. Mr. Ziglar was giving the narrative of a situation of where a person could tie a kerchief over their face, enter a bank, stick their hand in their pocket and point their finger as to suggest they had a gun. He would be able to successfully rob the bank, even though he did not in actuality have a gun.  Mr. Ziglar then said: “The evidence may be false, but it will appear real.”

 And so does Joan’s statements about me and my family. Daisy would do well to THOROUGHLY get to the bottom of what she reads on the internet. But I guess she is one of those blind people who blithely believe what she reads. Daisy needs to read my next post, Of Lies and Deceipt, Honor and Integrity – A Comparison Study of Joan Wheeler and The Three Sippel Sisters and read it thoroughly and do some research before she opens her mouth and makes silly comments.

(back to my original post) – Now read this Missy Daisy and if you are intelligent, you will READ it and not comment stupidly next time. Because you obviously don’t understand TRUTH and HONOR and INTEGRITY!

From my post of November 2, 2010, What is Demanded of Joan Wheeler:

The Three Sippel Sisters, having read the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler, have discovered many many falsehoods, lies, misrepresentations, and false accusations of us, our family members, our family situation, and even some of our friends. Ms. Wheeler has also been on her website and various places on the internet spreading these same lies and accusations.

The purpose of this blog is to refute and debunk Ms. Wheeler’s statements that she puts forth in her book and on the internet. We also will discuss Ms. Wheeler’s behavior in real life, because it is detrimental to us and our family.

The Three Sippel Sisters demand the following:

1. Public apology and retraction from Joan Wheeler for the following:

1. Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.

2. Falsely accusing Ruth of having a criminal record and being placed on probation.

3. Falsely accusing Ruth of calling child abuse on Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. In the book, she lists it as happening in 1993, on the internet in May and September 2010, she lists it as 1996. – (only a liar can’t keep dates straight – I have scanned and posted an actual letter sent by Joan dated December 1994 to New York State Child Abuse authorities and in it she states the call was made Dec. 1994. Why are there 3 different years listed by Joan in this letter, in her book, and on the internet?

4. Falsely asserting that there was a 3 month court battle in the spring of 1994 over this child abuse call. (which according to her letter didn’t occur until months later, and on the internet, years later). There was never a 3 month court battle between Joan and Ruth. and again, why does she keep mixing up the date of the call? Perhaps because she keeps lying about it.

5. Falsely accusing Ruth of hacking into computers where Ruth works and tampering with Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill in late 1994.

6. For six months of almost daily phone calls placed to Ruth’s place of employment for the purpose of Ruth losing her job. This was AFTER Ruth’s employer’s investigated Joan’s complaint in the fall of 1994, determined that Ruth was innocent, informed Joan of this, yet Joan continued into the spring of 1995 with calling various departments in the hospital and falsely informing them that Ruth did tamper with her bill.

7. Falsely asserting that Ms. Wheeler has had “multiple orders of protection” against the 3 Sippel Sisters.

8. Falsely asserting that the one and only Order of Protection Ms. Wheeler ever received (against Ruth) was for one year, when in reality it was for 6 months.

9. Falsely asserting that the 3 Sippel Sisters repeatedly interfere with Ms. Wheeler’s life and harass her.

10. For using our picture on the back cover of her book without our permission. The book is used for monetary gain, therefore, Ms. Wheeler is making money from our likeness.

11. For writing letters to Anthony J. Masiello, when he was mayor of the city of Buffalo and other elected officials, giving them personal and private details of Ruth’s life, thereby invading Ruth’s privacy.

12.For stealing Kathy’s money and belongings in 1993.

13. For stealing Ruth’s money in 1990 and the bead trim off the wedding dress of our mother, which was Ruth’s property.

14. An apology and explanation that Ms. Wheeler lied to Professor Rene Hoksbergen, and asked him to interfere with Kathy’s life in 1993, thereby invading Kathy’s privacy.

15. For all lies and misrepresentations that are contained in the book and on her website.

2. Joan WILL comply with the following:

1. The complete pulling of the book Forbidden Family off the market.

2.  Full return of Kathy’s money and belongings that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1993.

3. Full return of Ruth’s money that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1990

4. The cessation of posting any more about her sisters ANYwhere on the internet, except when discussing her adoption and she is to limit her discussion of her sisters to say that she has 3 older birth sisters, one who first made the contact with her, and due to personality conflicts, any reunion between Joan and her 3 birth sisters has been terminated.

3. Ms. Wheeler will cease her public statements that:

1. Our father was coerced into relinquishing her for adoption. It has always been his assertion that he was NOT coerced.

2. The 3 Sippel Sisters are “trashing” her on the internet via “multiple” adoption reform sites.

4. We Three Sippel Sisters further demand a public apology from Professor Rene Hoksbergen for his interference with Kathy in 1993, and his recent “professional” review of the book Forbidden Family, wherein, he is guilty of spreading a false allegation of sexual abuse by the person of Gertrude McQueen. Professor Hoksbergen did not check any “facts” that Joan Wheeler alleges, and therefore he is guilty also of damaging the reputation of Mrs. McQueen, and the other two Sippel Sisters.

Unless and until ALL these listed items are complied with by Joan Wheeler, (and Professor Hoksbergen), this blog will remain an active blog with every printed lie, misrepresentation, or misdeed of Joan Wheeler’s, either in the book, or on the internet, or real life, WILL be refuted and the truth WILL be documented.  Further, any future lies, falsehoods, misrepresentations, and further invasion of the privacy of The Three Sippel Sisters, their families and friends, will result in the continuation of this blog.

ALSO: Ruth hereby demands that Joan Wheeler’s ex-husband Colby Allen Bell repay every penny of the money he stole from her in 1990. – $490.00. He withdrew $500.00 from the joint checking account that Ruth had with them to purchase real estate (with her permission) to purchase a case of fireworks. Colby was supposed to replace that money when the fireworks were sold. He did not. He repaid Ruth only $10.00.

Further, in 1991, 3 ATM withdrawals were made totalling $400.00 from Joan and Colby’s checking account, causing their rent check to bounce. Joan and Colby accused Ruth of doing it. The following year, Colby was caught on a student video, admitting that it was HE who withdrew the money to support his  habit of frequenting strip joints.

Ruth demands a formal and public apology from Colby from his theft of her money and a formal and public apology  from both Joan and Colby concerning the accusation that she illegally made ATM withdrawals, which could have resulted with a criminal investigation of her by the bank and law enforcement. This could have damaged her reputation irreparably.

Again, until ALL demands here listed are FULLY met, this blog will remain active and the public shall know just what kind of persons Joan Wheeler and her ex-husband are.

1. Gert McQueen – June 28, 2011
On June 22, Daisy says this:
I think that the fact that you spend so much time on this issue suggests you have a problem. If you were secure in yourself, you would be able to just think, “Well, that’s her opinion,’ and let it go. Instead, you seem to work constantly to escalate this to the point of scary. If I was your sister, I’d get a restraining order as well as a cease and desist order. And I’d ask the court to recommend you get some psychiatric help.

Gert here:
yep we have a problem and it’s called personal and family honor that has been taken away from us by Joan Wheeler and her lies!!!

I assure you that we are very secure with ourselves, it is only Joan who is not! That is why she has hidden behind a book of lies and gets others to do her talking for her when she is brought to task.

Personal opinions are like aholes, everyone has one, but when they are slanderous and libelous they are very DANGEROUS things and MUST be exposed!

Scary?! You obviously have never been on the receiving end of what Joan Wheeler can dish out.

I would welcome some lawyer, court, to come and tell me that I ought to cease and desist with regaining MY personal honor and MY families honor from Joan Wheeler…I welcome it, bring it on!!

Joan has a entire blog where she ORDERS us to cease and desist I answered every line of that stupid nonsense, right here on this blog.

And Daisy…what are your creditials to recommend that we need psychiatric help? No, my dear, it is not us that need that kind of help…Joan has done quite well in documenting her mental status in that book.

you really ought to read that if you want to know SCARY!

2. Gert McQueen – June 29, 2011
On Nov 24 and 30, 2010, here on this blog, I answered Joan Wheeler’s cease and desist order that she placed on a blog. Please go and read it to inform yourself about how Joan Wheeler operates and my views and opinions of her ‘order’!

According to Joan she created that blog on advise of police. If that is so why has she not offered proof of such…no police department would tell her to do so…she is a bullshitter. She further states that NY has no laws against cyberbullying (as she calls our freedom of expression) and that no court will help her. Again those are empty threats with the thin veil that she ‘spoke’ with authorities…she never has because she doesn’t have any case against us. What Joan has done by that blog is a continued form of HARASSMENT and SLANDER against us!

According to Joan, only she is entitled to her views and opinions…we sisters are not so entitled. She can not accept that we are speaking our truth, our opinions and our views. She offers only empty threats…if she could stop us she would have done so already and be done with us.

So…we shall continue on…with refuting the book of lies that Joan Wheeler wrote and which got pulled by the publisher because they want nothing to do with libelous material…wise decision on their part.

Reply –  Ruth – June 29, 2011

What Daisy and others who don’t take the time to READ this blog and do their research is that it is JOAN who keeps the escalation going. Even when there have been times that we have not posted on our blog, we come on the internet and find yet ANOTHER slam against us from Joan. She keeps repeating “My sisters are bothering me.” But does she say HOW? “My sisters are interfering in my life.” But does she say HOW? Absolutely NOT! And little baa-baa sheep like Daisy, Mara, MYst, Heather, read Joan’s whines, BELIEVE her crap, then come running over here to leave unintelligent hate messages.

On November 3, 2009, I called Joan on the phone to inform her that an aunt died. I had first called my father. Knowing that he had recently thrown her out of his house (again – what does that tell you?) I asked if he still had her number. He sounded tired (he was 86 years old) so I made the call for him. Joan asked where I got her number – as I am a truthful person, I told her. She was not happy. I told her Aunt Doris died. She said to me very surly, “THANK you for telling me that, but…” then she proceeded to blast my eardrums with obscenities and verbal abuse. She was screaming so hard I couldn’t understand half she said. I slammed the phone down and broke into tears. What did I do wrong? I jumped in my car and went first to my cousin’s house, then my dad’s. In the meantime, Joan had called my father and screamed at him to the point that he also slammed the phone down. (Elder abuse). When I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from Town of Tonawanda police that Ruth Sippel Pace, Kathy Inglis and Gert McQueen are not to contact Joan.um, it was RUTH who called, NOT Kathy, not Ger. And it was NOT a harassing call – it was to inform Joan of a family member’s death.

A few days later, Gert called the police herself to tell them OUR side of the story – and the police told her “don’t worry, we know all about Joan.” – what does THAT tell you? It tells you that Joan is the escalator of things. She exaggerates everything. She accuses people of doing things when they are not doing things. 


I had closed this blog to comments before because Joan had gotten her buddies and her boyfriend to come here and leave hate messages. Obscenities, and stupid remarks like Daisy’s. I would welcome INTELLIGENT comments. And I have gotten a couple. Myst for one, came over here and left a very nice comment, which I answered. I will close the comments again – because in the long run – the purpose of this blog is NOT for us really hear any of Joan’s buddies trying to justify Joan’s actions – because there is NEVER any justification in the crap that Joan has done to us. And is still doing.

As to my time and energy – don’t worry about it Daisy – why don’t you ask yourself why are YOU wasting so much time on us? You should be spending your time and energy in getting some psychiatric help for the person who needs it – Joan. Because even the police think she’s a lunatic.

And yes, Gert and I, (and in the past, our father) ARE qualified to make that kind of evaluation on Joan, because we have known her personally for 37 years. We have suffered through her harrassments. If Joan is suffering now, it’s because 37 years of mistreating the very people she dreamed about, fantasized about, WANTED in her life – her birth family. She hated the fact she was adopted. Was pissed off when she found about her adoption when she was a kid. Grew up resenting her aparents. Made the desicion at 16 to find her birth family – FANTASIZED that her birth family would be this wonderful fairy tale family that would make all her problems disappear! When that didn’t happen, she set out to punish us. When she found out that we were only human, and made mistakes in life AS EVERY HUMAN BEING ON THIS PLANET – Joan set out to punish us.

These are the things Daisy, that you should be questioning. And when you find the answers, THEN come and talk to me. 

A call to arm against the nasty sisters. – Joan Wheeler calls in the big dudes to sic it to us – roflmao! June 17, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen

For those that have not seen the recent events on line here is the link to see Joan Wheeler’s article and all the comments.


On June 15, 201, Joan noticed that Ruth and I had commented on her article and so she goes to the adult adoptee’s forum and places this call to arm against her sisters!!! 

« Reply #11 on: Today at 12:42:25 PM »

For those of you who care to comment further, I need your help. The sisters who still stalk me on this forum have made comments online following this article about how they were able to pull my book from the publisher because of the lies that I told. First,, my article iin the Buffalo News has nothing to do with reunion, and second, the publisher pulled the book without an attorney representing me so I am having my own attorney look into the matter. Thirdly, the book was written from my point of view, not theirrs,, so of course they would disagree. This is all so very costly, both in money and emotional energy for me. They insist on publicizing their own blogs which continute to be filled against me.
 This call resulted in only ONE person, Laura, coming after me on the comments and I just put her in her place. There have been no other supporters and no one is talking about it…just where are Joan’s supporters? Anyway…
This call for help, by Joan to her adoptee friends, contain quite a lot of valuable information. It proves that Joan still believes her own propaganda…that she is being stalked! It doesn’t hurt to say this again…reading online articles and blogs and commenting on them is NOT any form of stalking. If anything, Joan is guilty of stalking the birth sisters because she still HAS not one but two, count them 2, blogs wherein she slanders us, continually. So until Joan Wheeler removes the blogs that talk about us in slanderous ways, we shall continue to watch, monitor and comment on her words.
She attempts to draw the attention to the fact that the book was pulled only because WE SAID she lied. She does not accept the fact that the book was indeed pulled, that is why she still promotes the book. Then she goes into the reasons why we sisters have no business commenting on her article. One, that the article has nothing to do with reunion…that is very telling…she can only think about us in ‘reunion’ mode…she does not see nor acknowledge any wrong doing on her part…its all the nasty sisters.
Second, she says “the publisher pulled the book without an attorney representing me so I am having my own attorney look into the matter.”
Oh she is waiting for her attorney…like she has one on retainer!…to look into the matter, so that the book will be reprinted no doubt! Ha what a laugh, she is on Social Security Disability and the state of NY pays the Legal Aid lawyers that she hounds to get help from!  Fact is that there was NO NEED for an attorney to represent her in the matter. It was a matter of a CONTRACT between Joan Wheeler and Trafford Publishing! Trafford’s lawyers took 4 months looking over the content of the book and the evidence that we sent them and they ‘covered’ their own backsides BEFORE they contacted Joan to inform her that they were pulling the book. Joan signed a contract and the contents of the book were in violation of the contract. She was told she could REWRITE it. They told both me and Ruth that if any rewrite was submitted, it will be looked at very very closely. So Joan could wait forever for her attorney from legal aid to tell her she doesn’t have a leg to stand on…or…Joan could just take me to court and sue my sorry ass for bothering her! I welcome an attorney…please please send a attorney after me!!!
Third she says: “the book was written from my point of view, not theirrs,, so of course they would disagree.”
Very very telling…same old rap…and not rap music…this is Joan’s story and she’s sticking with it, don’t confuse her with the truth that will only cause her head to explode! POP there goes Joan’s head! She can’t get it…she can not write something, about other people, from her point of view, and call it truth. She can not understand why we ‘disagree’ with her view. Doesn’t matter anymore Joan…keep speaking your rap, keeping popping up on public forums so that we can blow your logic and your view to shreds! At some point even a dog learns to stop doing something if he gets hit enough times!
Joan says: “This is all so very costly, both in money and emotional energy for me.”
I’m very glad to know that this is costly to her! It’s about time that she pay a bit for all the years and the continued harassments that she has done and is doing to us…pay baby pay! But what money is she spending on this? She doesn’t have a lawyer to pay…if she did…she would have me in court already. I don’t have to get a lawyer, cause getting one will cost me money and there is NOTHING that Joan has that I could gain from any damages because Joan Wheeler is a disabled person with on income or assests.
The cost of her emotional energy is again something that I’m very glad to hear…pay baby, pay!! You have done it all to yourself…all your words, in that book, are going to be coming back to haunt you. I am not done, there is a lot of things that have not gotten on this blog but in due time it will and I hope that each and every blog post causes you more emotional energy loss.
Finally she says: “They insist on publicizing their own blogs which continute to be filled against me.”
How does she know that our blogs (actually only one) are filled against her? She obviously is reading it! She can’t keep away…we see the stats, we know the sites that come and read it and Joan is right there, checking on what we say…so why doesn’t Joan just learn to give it up!
Joan, you lost, your book is garbage and untruthful, it is libelous and will not be reprinted, start over with writing your life…hey Mara said you have enough material on your nasty sisters to write a second book…so go for it…but next time make sure you don’t mention that ‘forbidden family’ cause we shall haunt you forever!

1. Lisa Marie – June 17, 2011
Congratulations on having her book pulled.

 2. Ruth – June 18, 2011
Thank you Lisa
as to Joan’s call for the calvary charge –
hee hee hee
She called , they ignored.
“What? What was that? A call to go over to your sister’s blog and leave hate messages? Um, we did that in February 2010. Then some of us did it in May 2010, then we did it again, um when was it? Geez, we don’t remember. — so let’s get this straight- you keep whining to us about your big bad birth sisters, you keep trashing them on different internet forums, oh yeah, that’s right – in March 2011, you told lies on The Huffington Post about them, invading their privacy, trashed your own grandfather, and got yourself kicked off the Huffington Post. So now what? You want us to come and swear at your sisters again?, sorry, we got better things to do. Been there, done that.”


Gert McQueen answers Joan Wheeler’s attempt to dictate her birth sister’s use of the internet – Part 1 June 16, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen

Joan Wheeler said on the adult adoptees forum after our comments to her article in the Buffalo News, the following…

“For those of you who care to comment further, I need your help. The sisters who still stalk me on this forum have made comments online following this article about how they were able to pull my book from the publisher because of the lies that I told. First,, my article iin the Buffalo News has nothing to do with reunion, and second, the publisher pulled the book without an attorney representing me so I am having my own attorney look into the matter. Thirdly, the book was written from my point of view, not theirrs,, so of course they would disagree. This is all so very costly, both in money and emotional energy for me. They insist on publicizing their own blogs which continute to be filled against me.”

 Gert says: Here again Joan goes off begging for help from those on the forum to go after her nasty sisters who are stalking her! Yeh right! And who is harassing whom? Like I have stated in my comment to the newspaper…Joan does not like anyone who opposes her.

 It appears as if Joan Wheeler does not or can not understand the nature of public comments, particularly those that are against her views or by those individuals she hates. Last I knew I have freedom to express my view and I exercised that in my comment to a comment that someone had posted about Joan. I did not address Joan’s article in particular. I don’t have a comment on her article, but, I do have a right to express my view about whether or not Joan Wheeler has any kind of ‘political clout’ or whether she would be a good person for a job in the New York Assembly, which is what I was addressing. The best endorsement (pro or con) is from one who has had experience with knowing and dealing with the other or buying a particular product. Does Joan really believe that people DON’T do their homework and do not want to know about her moral integrity?

 And what does Joan Wheeler do? She immediately has to insist that we commented to stalk her, lie about her and publish our blogs that are filled against with her. Okay…one out of three ain’t bad! The one being about our blog being filled ABOUT her not against her. We are not stalking her nor lying about her…that is her view of it. She does not understand that I was addressing the issue of whether or not she has the moral integrity to be trusted…with politcal clout or anything else. That is the REAL reason for my comment, which is lost to Joan because she believes I don’t have any right to speak about her and her deeds.

 And then there is the book! Obviously Joan doesn’t have a sense of reality to why the book was pulled. She can say all she wants about how the book was from her point of view, but, the fact remains that what she published was libelous in nature, period, end of story. The only reason Joan and the publisher are NOT in court is because it costs lots of money. But the publisher was wise enough to just dump the book and count their blessings. I would most certainly welcome Joan Wheeler’s attorney to contact me so that he will see for himself or better yet why not just take me to court? Joan has all the resources of the New York state welfare and disability lawyers at her disposal…she is on disability and therefore has no problem with getting a lawyer. I certainly can’t imagine how much money she is spending on this but she is throwing good money after bad…meaning…she doesn’t have a leg to stand on. But, hey, if she really wants her day in court, come one already, and sue me!

Dictator Joan Wheeler commands that her birth sisters CANNOT read The Buffalo News online or submit a comment, even though Joan does not own The Buffalo News June 16, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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In a previous post, I wrote about the latest whine from Joan Wheeler. She had written a very nice editorial about adoptees and their birth certificate and submitted it to The Buffalo News, our local newspaper. Apparently they didn’t print it fast enough for her, because right away she started whining that the Buffalo News was a conservative paper, the city of Buffalo was full of conservative backward ignorant people, and so forth.

So her letter was finally published on June 10, 2011. Guess what people? I LIVE in the city of Buffalo, and I READ the Buffalo News. Both the hard copy and online. And if I read an editorial that is put out by the newspaper that I read on a daily basis, who the hell is Joan Wheeler to say that I am stalking her? I did not respond to her editorial, because it did not concern me. So how am I stalking her when I don’t respond? Gert also did not respond. So how is Gert stalking her? And by the way, Gert has every right to read an online edition of the newspaper that is put out in the city she was born in. How is that stalking anyone?

On June 13, a writer from Potsdam NY, left a comment online and said that she wished Joan Wheeler had political clout. Gert and I both had the same thought, that this person doesn’t know the real Joan. So we both responded on June 14 to THE LADY FROM POTSDAM, NOT JOAN.

Of course, Dictator Joan got her panties all bunched up and started screaming “they’re stalking me, they’re stalking me!” Then she goes to the adoptee forum and tells them this and asks for help from them to stop us. What is she? A little child? This behavior is akin to a 7 year old – “You stop bothering me, or I’m gonna go get my big brother and sic him on you.”

But this is typical of Joan. She accuses her birth sisters of everything wrong in her life. And when we are going on about our business, she’s got to put her foot down and dictate to us how to behave.

So I have this to say to Joan:


I am an American citizen and I have the freedom to go to any dam internet site I want. As long as I pay my internet bill and the website’s owners give me access, I WILL GO TO ANY WEBSITE AND READ IT – GOT THAT MISSY DICTATOR? Just who the hell do you think you are? Well I know WHAT you are: a BULLY! And I don’t give in to bullies! Got that?

And I have EVERY DAM RIGHT to submit a comment on The Buffalo News website. DO YOU WORK FOR THE BUFFALO NEWS JOAN? NO? THEN SHUT UP.

What is the REAL reason behind Joan Wheeler’s rant on the Huffington Post? March 9, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen and Ruth Pace

This is the particular exchange that threw Joan Wheeler into a huff on the Huffington Post:

 Joan’s post:

Mrs Delacour,

I am not grateful to be adopted. Why would I? My adoptive parents knowingly and willingly prevented me from knowing my own full blood siblings during my childhood and that is child abuse. Yes, my natural father relinquish ­ed me to adoption when I was 4 months old just after the death of my mother. He kept the other 4 children. That alone is hurtful, but my adoptive parents knew my father and open visitation could have been arranged. But my so-called loving adoptive parents kept me all to themselves ­, alone, in their sheltered cocoon of adoption-l ­ove. I should have been told the truth.

Now about the birth certificat ­e issue: I was born the 5th child to married parents. My original birth certificat ­e states that there were 4 other children born to this mother. I was given a name and my long form birth certificat ­e states the date and time of birth in the hospital. My natural father gave this document to my adopting parents when he relinquish­ed me.

Gert’s comment

Child abuse!!??? Get a grip! Not knowing any blood siblings is NOT abuse, dear sister!

And you should not throw stones around so freely particular­ly when you have called two false abuse charges at me in the past, because you knew better! Wrong, you were wrong, then and you are wrong now.

There are reasons why in adoption you don’t get to know the blood family, and it certainly isn’t because anyone is doing any kind of abuse! That is only in your mind!

There were NOT such things as open adoption/v­isitation in your case, dear sister. You are beating a dead horse! It was not hurtful that you were placed in adoption and separate from the other four…the ­re was NO ONE to take care of YOU, dear sister…a ­nd you did NOT have the same fates that we had. And don’t even go there and blame that on adoption!

Why don’t you stop being so hateful to the people who gave you so much!! Who paid for your college education, that you don’t use? Your siblings didn’t have all the benefits that you had in adoption. Being grateful is one of the greatest gifts you could give yourself, but, you would rather stay poor and in hate.

Instead of hating adoption and everyone who adopts, why don’t you try living a life for a change.

Ruth’s comment:

So, a couple of days after this exchange, because we Sippel Sisters DARED to post an opinion on an internet site, Joan goes on a rampage and cuts and pastes stuff from her lying cyberbullying page. In an effort to “silence” us. Joan thinks she owns the internet. Joan can post things, but her birth sisters are NOT allowed to post. Too bad, Joan, you don’t own the internet, you don’t own Huffington Post, you couldn’t control your sisters, and you couldn’t control Huffington Post. Your arrogance got you kicked off!

So when Joan saw she couldn’t control us by preventing us from opening an account on Huffington and accessing our American Constitutional First Amendment Right to Free Speech, Joan decides that even her own cyberbullying crap wasn’t good enough. So she adds an additional slur against us – the bullshit about our grandfather molesting us when we were kids.

I have to hand it to Joan – she really needs to get a job writing for a soap opera. She’s good at the cliff hangers! In her book and on her website, she hints that she has “secrets” that her birth sisters don’t want her to tell. We have gone on this blog about a year ago and asked her what those secrets are. She has never responded, until now. So this is the SECRET! Are there any more secrets Joan? Come on, OUT WITH IT NOW! STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH. I’M CALLING IN YOUR BLUFF! I WANT TO SEE MORE DELUSIONS FROM YOUR SICK BRAIN SO I CAN HAVE ANOTHER GOOD LAUGH! I want to see some more of your “torpedos of  truth.” roflmao! You could give Charlie Sheen a run for his money. — got Tiger Blood? ha ha ha!

O my gosh, do you people see what a scumbag she is? Let’s suppose for one minute that her allegations are true. Joan says she is a “social worker.” Ethical social workers do NOT tell things about their clients. I am not Joan’s client, but if I were, I’d sue the f’ing bitch for blabbing my confidentialities. And not even going by that, do you people not see her for the scumbag she is, that she hints in her book that she is holding “secrets” blackmail over her birth sisters? What kind of morals does Joan have that she threatens us in her book via emotional blackmail? And what kind of morals do readers of her book have and see nothing intrinsically wrong with a person who does that? Do you think people who write the laws of America is going to listen to this whackjob and take her recommendations to change birth certificate access laws?  They are going to see her for what she is – a liar and someone who tries to hold her own birth family blackmail by threatening to tell lies and secrets about them. And then makes sick lying allegations about a very serious thing – child sexual abuse! Every adult survivor of child sexual abuse should slap Joan in the face for what she has lied about, for it makes a mockery of what they endured. NO ONE has the right to lie about something this serious.

 I say again Joan: OUT WITH IT! Because me and my sisters are not going to succumb to emotional blackmail by you. Whatever “hold” you think you have over us, forget about it. You have none. All you have is your lies. And now, for the FOURTH time, Joan, I am challenging you to a lie detector test.  Silence speaks volumes. She won’t answer me on this one because she knows the truth would stick in her throat and choke her.

So now I ask you Joan, WHO told you that I was molested by my grandfather? My grandfather? Let’s see, nope, he died in 1959. My grandmother? Nope, she died in 1965. Me? Nope, because I wouldn’t tell you about something that never happened. Was it my father? Nope, because again, it never happened. And speaking of my father, notice how Joan comes out with this bullshit AFTER my father is dead – because now my father can’t get in her face for her smearing his father’s reputation! Like he turned his back on her in 2009 for her insulting his religion and his mother.

 So getting back to Joan’s statement to Mrs. Delacour “I am not grateful to be adopted.”

 Well, shit, if the allegations against my grandfather were true, wouldn’t Joan BE grateful to have been adopted out and escape the alleged molestation?

No, I believe something else is going on here. And it is something that I have wondered about for years. Joan HATES men. She HATES my father for giving her up for adoption. She HATES her birth siblings that were NOT adopted. She HATES adoption. She HATES the fact she was adopted. She HATES her adoptive parents. She is so full of hate and rage. So full of hate and rage, and  disproportionally so.


 Because  it was not the Sippel Sisters were sexually molested as children, I believe IT WAS JOAN WHEELER HERSELF WHO WAS SEXUALLY MOLESTED AS A CHILD, PROBABLY BY A WHEELER RELATIVE! 

Gert McQueen adds this comment:

Joan Wheeler says she is a Social Worker and as such she is bound by their codes of ethics. Well perhaps she ought to be brought up on charges of violation of the codes of ethics of Social Workers. Any takers? I think I might!!!
In part Ruth has said:

“Joan says she is a “social worker.” Ethical social workers do NOT tell things about their clients. I am not Joan’s client, but if I were, I’d sue the f’ing bitch for blabbing my confidentialities. And not even going by that, do you people not see her for the scumbag she is, that she hints in her book that she is holding “secrets” blackmail over her birth sisters? What kind of morals does Joan have that she threatens us in her book via emotional blackmail? And what kind of morals do readers of her book have and see nothing intrinsically wrong with a person who does that?”

 It just so happens that I have the ethic codes and what do they say?

The National Association of Social Workers codes of ethics.


1.07 Privacy and Confidentiality

(a) Social workers should respect clients’ right to privacy. Social workers should not solicit private information from clients unless it is essential to providing services or conducting social work evaluation or research. Once private information is shared, standards of confidentiality apply.

(b) Social workers may disclose confidential information when appropriate with valid consent from a client or a person legally authorized to consent on behalf of a client.

(c) Social workers should protect the confidentiality of all information obtained in the course of professional service, except for compelling professional reasons. The general expectation that social workers will keep information confidential does not apply when disclosure is necessary to prevent serious, foreseeable, and imminent harm to a client or other identifiable person. In all instances, social workers should disclose the least amount of confidential information necessary to achieve the desired purpose; only information that is directly relevant to the purpose for which the disclosure is made should be revealed.

(d) Social workers should inform clients, to the extent possible, about the disclosure of confidential information and the potential consequences, when feasible before the disclosure is made. This applies whether social workers disclose confidential information on the basis of a legal requirement or client consent.

(h) Social workers should not disclose confidential information to third­party payers unless clients have authorized such disclosure.

(i) Social workers should not discuss confidential information in any setting unless privacy can be ensured. Social workers should not discuss confidential information in public or semipublic areas such as hallways, waiting rooms, elevators, and restaurants.

(q) Social workers should not disclose identifying information when discussing clients with consultants unless the client has consented to disclosure of confidential information or there is a compelling need for such disclosure.

(r) Social workers should protect the confidentiality of deceased clients consistent with the preceding standards.

 Gert says:

Sure looks like violation of the codes of ethics for the National Association of Social Workers to me! I say again, any takers? Anyone willing to press charges against Joan Wheeler for ethics violations? No takers? Well, I guess that’s the next thing I ought to look into!!

Joan Wheeler lies again about her birth sisters on the Huffington Post site March 4, 2011 March 5, 2011

Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Ruth Pace

On March 4, 2011, Joan Wheeler continued her character assassination and smear campaign against her birth sisters. Why? Because Gert and I dared to post a comment on the Huffington Post forum. Which is our RIGHT as Americans.

Answering an article entitled “Adoptees are Americans,” Joan Wheeler had made references AGAIN to her birth family. She has no right to be posting about ME or MY family. In her comment, Joan said that she was adopted when she was 4 months old. In my answering comment, I said that she was adopted when she was 3 months old. Joan answered and pointed out that she was 3 months old when our mom died and was adopted out a month later. I saw that she was correct, and posted again, admitting to my mistake. I do this, see, because unlike Joan, I ADMIT TO WHEN I AM WRONG!

However, Joan decided to take things to a further level. Instead of correcting me and leaving it at that, Joan just HAD to start her lying again. After she corrected me, she goes on to say that Gert and I are stalking her. And she says that she has not had a relationship with us for more than 3 decades.

Call it stalking if you want, but yes, we monitor what Joan posts on the internet, BECAUSE WE AS AMERICANS HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW WHAT IS BEING SAID ABOUT US AND OUR FAMILY. If Joan does not like that, the solution is obvious: JOAN NEEDS TO STOP POSTING ABOUT HER BIRTH FAMILY!

Why do we take this stand? Because whenever Joan posts about us, it usually lies, inuendos, misreprsentations, false accusations, and exaggerations.

Case in point: right there in her return comment to me, she says “I have had no relationship with them for over 3 decades!”

THIS IS A FALSEHOOD! This is the year 2011. 3 decades is 30 years, which takes us back to 1981. Well, for crying out loud, I was one of her bridesmaids in the year 1983! She admits to this in her lying book Forbidden Family. And in her book, she relates outings to the beach with me in the years 1988 – 1990!

So when I commented, I pointed this discrepency out to her. What was her response? She goes on the attack – because in her faulty brain, she thinks that I, and my sister do not have the right to correct her. She can correct me, but will not accept a correction in turn. So she posts several posts on the Huffington site and slanders and libels us again.

Sorry Joan, but I am an American. I have the right to comment on the internet when someone lies about me or my family. If you don’t like that, then stop lying. Get used to the fact that whenever you post a lie, it WILL be answered and refuted!

Joan’s problem is that she has diarrhea of the mouth – everytime she tells a story she embellishes it. Witness the fact that she says she has had no relationship with us for over 3 decades! She touts herself as being an author – but she hasn’t learned the basics of truthtelling! She demands the truth in adoption and birth certificates, but does not deal in the truth herself!

When Joan posts on the internet about adoption, we are silent, because we don’t care about her adoption reform work. It doesn’t bother us one whit about her passion on adoption. But when she starts posting about us, or our family, you better believe we sit up and take notice – because as AMERICANS, we have that right. And we claim that right.

Joan, accept it – we are watching. If you post about us, it better be the truth – because we will always come right back at ya!

Joan Wheeler is now self-promoting her book Forbidden Family under false pretenses January 11, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen

Continuation of Joan Wheeler’s lies, her back tracking, her attempts to cover her tracks, her attempts to prove herself, which really only prove that she is digging the hole deeper for herself and…more of the same.

UPDATE Dec 2015; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ yet again, her ‘story’, NOW called ‘duped by adoption’. There is NOTHING in it for adoption reform, for she is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…



now to continue with this post…

Having recently seen Joan Wheeler’s web page about Forbidden Family I must say that she is again crossing the line. This woman has no sense of what she does, she can’t seem to see that she can not get herself out of the hole she dug for herself and it’s only getting deeper.

Joan must not have many friends left because she has resorted to ‘self’ advertising.
First things first: according to what is stated in the first pages of the book and elsewhere, the author states that there are no REAL names in the book…this is patently false and she gives enough information within the book that anyone can quickly do a research and find us.

Secondly, on the web site, for the purpose of promoting and referencing a book, which is suppose to keep the real names of the family, ie. my father, me, my brother and sisters out of print, the author posts the death notice of our mother and that contains all our real names.

Her argument that we have identified ourselves is a NON issue. We did not write the book! Joan Wheeler did and Joan Wheeler is PROMOTING her book under false pretenses and Joan Wheeler is exposing the real identity of the characters in her book that is suppose to keep those characters names out.

So where does the author protect the family! If her book is a true story, as she states,and she is “protecting” our identies by changing our names in the book,  then why is there a need for the author to publish a death notice that has all our names in it? Purely for hurting and exposing the birth family. Thank you very much Joan Wheeler for not only telling untruths about us but by giving the world our names…long before we started the blog and even now on your PROMOTIONAL blog for a book that claims it is about adoption reform.

This exposure is under the tab, on the Forbidden Family’s web site, called about the author. It is a recent addition placed there as punishment to the birth sisters because we will not stop telling the truth about the lies in the book. By doing this, the author has discredited herself by doing the very thing that she states in the book that she has not done! This action is a clear violation of privacy to our family and ourselves, is a direct lie that the author is now stating and a violation of the ethics according to the Association of Social Workers, that the author is a member of.

Under the tab called press release, the author has posted some statements that are in and around the book. This is NOT a press release. The author needed to fill this empty space, because we sisters had a press release REMOVED back in June 2010! So to fill the space and make herself look good, she does a bit of self-advertising.

Under the tab about the Book and Buy the author STILL has the advertising of a web-site that is hate based against the sisters, calling us cyber bullies and stalkers and gives out false statements of a personal slanderous nature. And like a fool she keeps advertising our web page where we report all the lies in the book! Joan Wheeler is shooting herself in her foot.

Ruth’s note: yeah, that’s right – that page is HATE based – so Russ ol’ boy and any other of Joan’s friends, don’t be coming here and leave little comments that this blog is hate based – go see what YOUR friend Joan is writing. roflmao at Joan’s stupidity and her friends hypocrisies.
Joan Wheeler clearly cannot accept the fact that she has been CAUGHT in more lies than she even knows she has stated and still is stating them.

We sisters shall continue on with telling the truth and Joan Wheeler can not stop us.

Joan Wheeler — The Puppet Master December 8, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In my last post Joan Wheeler AGAIN plays fast and loose with the facts of MY family!  I tell of Joan going on another internet forum and tells lies again about my family. Gert and I, exercising OUR Freedom of Speech right, left a couple of comments. Joan’s cronies Russ and Mara went on and bashed us. roflmao! What’s the matter Joan? Can’t speak for yourself? gotta have someone else talk for you? Ain’t Woman enough to stand up for yourself?
I said once before on this blog to Russ ol boy – that Joan was manipulating him, pulling his strings and his head was full of sawdust.
It seems that my assessment was correct.
For once again, Joan the Puppet Master is at work again behind the scenes. She has Mara on one knee, Russ on the other. She has her hands in their wooden heads, working their mouths, making them do what she is too cowardly to do herself.
Joan, the quintessential liar and bully, goes onto an internet forum and talks trash about my family. When it has nothing to do with HER adoption or her anti-adoption agenda. Then she wonders why her family gets upset! Then when her family, excercises  their right to debate her, can’t take it. She whines to her puppets: “oh help me, my sisters are mad at me again. Help me, make them stop.” She doesn’t see that she can stop us herself – by not talking about us and lying about us.
For some reason, Joan can’t learn this.
And neither can her puppets. They love to be lead around by their wooden noses.
Fools! Joan is a ventriloquist. With her fingers flying fast on the keyboard, she tells you guys what to do, what to say.
Wake up fools! Pull back the curtain and see who is really behind your thoughts! The Great and Powerful Puppet Master of Joan!
ps, if you guys have the right to go to PUBLIC internet forums and talk, then so do I! You fools do NOT own the internet. I have the Freedom of Speech to go where I want, say what I want. Just because your Master, Joan Wheeler tells you that her sisters can’t does not make it so. Got news for you – we can, and we will. Deal with it.


Joan Wheeler at her keyboard tells her puppets what to write


Joan's puppet Mara


Joan's puppet Russ











1. gert – December 8, 2010
But you know, Joan does keep certain things quiet from the puppets and she also lies to them…She told them that she had removed mentioning us on the Forbidden family site and I thought she had…well she didn’t…she still has a notice up about us sisters and she is continuing with her promotion about the cyberbullying site.

How can her puppets get anything done, in regards to having Joan stop yaking about us, as they in the past said they wanted, when Joan lies to them and doesn’t tell them what she is doing…namely sullying our names and reputations.

We want mention of us OFF the forbidden family site, that site is for ADOPTION REFORM not for promoting her sisters.

So you see, until Joan removes mention of us and advertising and sending readers to a cyberbullying site in a site that says it is about adoption reform, namely forbidden family, she is lying to her puppets and she is harassing us.

2. Ruth – December 8, 2010
Another thing the puppets haven’t caught – in the past their puppet master has instructed them to come over to this blog to harass us. BUT she instructed them NOT to come from the Adoptee Forum! She instructed them to come from other websites.
Isn’t this a direct violation of Joan’s complaint that we use multiple IP addressess and different wireless connections to go to her site? My, my, my, we see Joan’s double standard of harassment there!

the poor puppets haven’t figured that out yet, because they have sawdust for brains.

The new and (not so necessarily) improved blog of Joan Wheeler. part one. November 30, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen

Joan, why don’t you just do the right thing…say you are sorry for all the lies you have said in the book and on your web sites and ask to be forgiven by your sisters! That would go a long way to repairing the damage you have done. Start by forgiving yourself and then ask us for forgiveness! You know, Joan, that you must start to do the right thing…Do It!
And while we wait for Joan to do the right thing…
Joan is very very worried about how much we sisters are writing about her book, for you see, she is afraid of what is coming up! Yep, Joan knows the truth and she has seen in the past year that we sisters are very determined to expose all lies of Joan’s. So she must ‘head us off at the pass’, so to speak, by continuing her basic rap, without the music, that we sisters are after her and that we are harming her etc etc.
Joan Wheeler is never satisfied with her work, she must continually work on it and improve it and make it more stupendous than before, even adding more and more adjectives and inflammatory statements hoping to get someone to listen to her.
The NEW and not-so-necessarily-improved web blog of Joan Wheeler, is in response to our continued complaints about the statements that Joan has said about us that she placed on her web page. It is also in response to some efforts of others Joan’s friends, to get the comments, about her blood sisters, off the site for Forbidden Family. The web site for Forbidden Family is supposed to be for adoption reform, after all, and not condemning her sisters which Joan has done already within the pages of the book. Joan still has crap on that site and I have addressed that issue and have asked to have that shit removed. Friends of Joan’s need to work on her to get her to remove those references to her sisters OFF the page for Forbidden Family.
I had already addressed many issues, in a blog entry Sept 23, 2010, right here on our refuting blog, about what Joan had placed on her site. I suggest folks recheck that entry to see what I had already said. reposting: bullying untruths – and we can see thru your little games Joan Wheeler – why are you lying about dates when you post on your own website?  (Ruth’s note: this is a repost of it, from November 24, 2010).

Since the beginning of November 2010, Joan has decided that she needed a new and improved site. She added more NEW stuff too. I shall now address them. I am omitting the paragraphs that I have already addressed in my Sept 23, post.
What is new, either wholly or in part, will be have (***) in front of it, these are Joan’s words. My comments will have (Gert answers) in front of it. (Ruth’s note: and of course, my notes will be in parathensis and italics).
 ****  I, Joan Wheeler, and my book, Forbidden Family, are Victims of Cyber Bullies & Stalkers My 3 older sisters stalked and bullied me for most of my 54 yrs (2010). Adoption Reunions are not to blame. My sisters who found me in 1974 perpetrated sexual assault upon me, made false allegations of sexual Child Abuse, spread filthy rumors about me. They accuse me of lying in my book. I do not want them in my life. They say I am doing things to them: I am not. I am not involved in their lives. They are delusional psychopaths. NYS doesn’t have a Cyber Bullies Law to protect me.

(Gert answers) The first question/comment is about Joan’s identification as a victim. She is and has been a professional victim all her life, by her own words. Too bad that she can’t be a ‘survivor’ or at the very least, just a plain ordinary person that has a life! The second question that strikes me is; how can a book be a victim of anything? A book is a book, it is an object, it can’t be bullied or stalked. A book can be read and as such is subjected to pro and con opinions and analysis by those that read it and by those whose lives are portrayed in them. So the argument that the book is a victim holds no water. As far as Joan herself is concern, she is not a victim of bullying of any sort nor is she being stalked, at least not by her blood sisters. Everything that we have to say is said and done in the OPEN and on our BLOG for the whole world to read! We are exercising our rights of Freedom of Speech and Expression.

(Gert answers) If Joan is 54 years old in 2010 and we didn’t know her until she was 18, this statement of hers, … ‘My 3 older sisters stalked and bullied me for most of my 54 yrs’…is patently FALSE. Reunions may or may not be to blame, but certainly, Joan’s interference, lying and other forms of duplicity in our lives certainly are to blame! Joan is constantly spreading falsehoods around, be it about her sisters or others. By the very fact that she can’t help herself in stating the same old lies, here, again, proves that she has NOTHING NEW to add to the long list of grievances she has against us. So what’s the point? Joan likes to accuse others and she never answers when directly confronted with and about her lies.

(Gert answers) Why doesn’t Joan just copy the book, put it on her web site, this way the whole world can read all the horrible deeds that we, and others, have done to her. No, that won’t work, you see, cause she wrote the book for the money! And if she put the pages of the book on a web page, she can’t get any money, so she has to keep telling the world, how horrible we are and about what we did to her…but she never answers when asked directly to prove her assertions. Does she think that by saying here, on a web page called cyber bullies and stalkers, that we did this or that, that people are going to BELIEVE her? Has Joan ever heard the tale of the boy who cried wolf too many times!

(Gert answers) Joan says, ‘They accuse me of lying in my book.’ Okay, if that is so, than why doesn’t Joan answer our accusations? Is she above reproach? Why are you hiding Joan? Come out, come out, where ever you are and tell us what is a lie that WE are telling!

(Gert answers) Joan says, ‘I do not want them in my life.’ Then why did she write all about us in her book? Why did she publish a book of lies about people she doesn’t want in her life? Did she think we would be happy? Joan says, ‘They say I am doing things to them: I am not. I am not involved in their lives.’ Oh yes, Joan you are IN OUR LIVES and you HAVE BEEN DOING THINGS TO US, you wrote a book about us, remember!. Joan says, ‘They are delusional psychopaths.’ And her proof is where? What is her definition of delusional and psychopathic? In my dictionary, under those words, are pictures of Joan Wheeler! Most delusional psychopaths are incapable of holding down long-terms jobs. The three Sippel Sisters, as Joan calls her blood sisters, each have held jobs, in health and educational fields for well over 30 years each! Where and how long has Joan held any kind of a job? Just because she holds a degree or two makes not a career. Answer that, Joan…have you held a job for 30 plus years? Joan says, ‘NYS doesn’t have a Cyber Bullies Law to protect me.’ Joan doesn’t need protection, we sisters and others that she wrote about in that book need protection, from her.

  **** Anything posted on the Internet and represented by Ruth Sippel Pace, Katherine (Kathy) Jean Sippel Inglis, and Gertrude (Gert) Mary Sippel McQueen which purports to be factual is both fraudulent and presented without Joan Wheeler’s authority or approval.

 (Gert answers) Gee I didn’t know I HAD to get Joan’s permission and approval to write about and answer issues about my own life! Where does Joan’s authority come from? My my have we hit a nerve? How can Joan dismiss documents that we have placed on our site? Did we make those up? Is this a new accusation against us? Joan, get real!(Ruth’s note: I totally agree. I don’t NEED Joan’s permission to write about MY own life. And if Joan can write about me in her book, then I can write about her on my blog. But see, this is Joan the Dictator’s double standard – JOAN can write any dam thing she want, but no one else can. Joan the Dictator can write any dam thing she wants to about other people – her sister included, but they don’t have the right to answer her?  And if they want to, by this very statement, they need JOAN’S authority or approval. Who the hell died and left you the boss of other people Joan?).
****It is unfair to be the subject of vile, misleading, deceptive and untrue commentaries that are maliciously intended to undermine a person’s professional and personal reputation. Adoption author and activist Joan Wheeler is intent on putting a stop to the lies and falsehoods being spread about her and her book “Forbidden Family”. Other adoption reformers and adoption professionals are also targets of the perpetrators Ruth Sippel Pace, Katherine Sippel Inglis and Gert Sippel McQueen.
(Gert answers) Life isn’t fair, get real! Joan’s professional and personal reputation has been undermined by her own words and deeds as she has presented them in the book. My sisters and I did not have a thing to do with that book! Is there a double standard that Joan lives by? One for her and another for us sisters? Apparently, because she can say whatever she wants about us and it’s okay, but we can’t defend ourselves. Yep, that’s Joan alright! So let me get this straight…myself and my sisters’ professional and personal reputation mean nothing to Joan and it is perfectly right and fair for her to write ‘vile, misleading, deceptive and untrue commentaries that are maliciously intended to undermine a person’s professional and personal reputation’! Okay, just as long as I have that straight…there is one standard for Joan…anything goes…and another for us sisters…we can’t do anything unless Joan gives us permission! Okay, got ya! (Ruth’s note: Yep! That’s what I just said!)
(Gert answers) Joan Wheeler is NOT a adoption author and activist…she only uses that as a cover-up for the opportunity to tell the world about her inner life of torment. She uses her pathetic life as a reason to oppose adoption. Joan uses adoption has a means to justify her sad existence.
(Gert answers) Oh dear me!! She ‘is intent on putting a stop to the lies and falsehoods being spread about her and her book’! I’m shaking in fear! And just how does she propose to do that…has the 1st amendment been repealed? Has Joan been elected to public office where she has authority to stop me and my sisters from speaking! Get Real!
(Gert answers) Other adoption reformers and professionals are not being ‘targeted’ but are being informed about the true nature of Joan Wheeler’s motives within the book and about her lies within that book. They were being informed about the nature of the contents of the book and Joan’s lies and deeds, just as I wrote one letter to Joan’s adoptive mother, in 1982 or so, about the deeds that Joan did to my family. A professional, such as Doc Rene Hoksbergen, who wrote a forward in a book and a review of a book, needs to be EXPOSED for his unprofessional behavior in regards to the book Forbidden Family for that book and his approval have done great harm to many innocent people who are in the adoption world. Professionals make mistakes too and they can be conned too. Perhaps Doc Hoksbergen would tell me himself, if he thought he was being ‘targeted’, but alas, I have not heard from him…no matter. I have a right to write a letter to any professional that is associated with a untruthful book, about my life, written by Joan Wheeler. You would think that any reform movement would be interested in knowing whether or not they have a nut case promoting their cause and what possible repercussions there may be with continued association with said nut case. If these professionals and reformers want to be associated with the likes of Joan Wheeler it isn’t because we, sisters, didn’t warn them.
****Joan Wheeler fears not only for her personal and professional reputation, but for her life. Police and Court action, which was tried in the past, will not help in matters of Cyber Bullying and Cyber Stalking as there are no such laws in New York State to protect victims from this type of abuse. (Ruth’s note: I actually agree with Joan here – [gasp!’ “Police and Court action, which was tried in the past will not help.” Yeah, Joan, I had a restraining order against you in 1999, and so did our cousin Gail. And it seemed to work for 5 short years. But in 2004, you had to start your shit again. Your shit died down, but in September 2008, on your defunct blogspot blog (which we had nothing to do with getting shut down), YOU mentioned the Three Sippel Sisters! Warning us, and putting us down for our Pagan values. And this out of the clear blue sky! I have been on the internet since the year 2000, with no mention of Joan at all. But as soon as Joan gets introduced to the internet – BAM! She uses it as a new vehicle to bash her sisters. And she has the nerve to scream “cyber-bullying?” Who the hell started it Joan? WHO brought our feud onto the internet? YOU did – in September 2008. And then again in October 2009. And I only started this blog in November 2009. So, there you go – Joan’s own actions show us who the TRUE cyber-bully and stalker is – Joan Mary Wheeler!)
(Gert answers) Oh dear me, Joan fears for her life! Stop with the dramatics already will ya! Joan you have been saying that all your adult life when the pressures of living are too great for you. Don’t worry dear, we sisters have no desire to be in any space where you are. Yep, you have tried police and court action…where do you get the money for lawyers? How do you work the system? I’ve noticed, in your book, when you tried to go after that last boyfriend you had, that you spoke with four different lawyers! Does being on disability give you free legal advice? Why don’t you go and use them and sue us already and be done with it! No Joan will never do that because number one, she doesn’t have a case and two, she WANTS to be a VICTIM and she likes talking about being abused. (Ruth’s note: oh yes, we certainly don’t want to be in any space she is at – in fact NOBODY does. – In August 2003, at a cousin’s funeral, in walks Joan – and then everybody walked out! We all wanted to go out back for a cigarette or some fresh air.- true story! And at another funeral in December 2009, a relative of the deceased was relieved that Joan was not coming.)                                    end Part One

I am not interested in your opinions of me September 1, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates.
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the purpose of this blog is to refute the lies from Joan Mary Wheeler. The lies that she has put forth about me and my family in her book Forbidden Family. And the continuing lies she puts out about me and my family to this day on the internet.

If you don’t like what you see here – you have my leave to leave! Because obviously you do not have an open mind – so buh-bye!

MY character is not the issue of this blog – it is JOAN”S character that is the issue.

As for any preachy advice – thank you. Because it only one sided. You don’t know me. Therefore you have no right to judge me. I DO know Joan – and she has been judged. And if you THINK you know Joan thru her clever whinings and manipulations and traps – you are not as smart as you think you are.

um, by the way – if your “advice” is this question: “why do you care what Joan writes about you? Just ignore her”, um, why don’t you practice what you preach?  — Why are YOU here, caring about what I write? And why don’t YOU ignore me? oh and I really like the guy who berated me for calling Joan a bitch – then called me one. Well buddy, then you ain’t any better than me. lol. That sure was one “intelligent” commentor. NOT! Next time, don’t include in your complaint the very same thing you are complaining about. Well, thanks for the laugh you knucklehead!

As for me not posting your comments, don’t whine about that either – you didn’t let me post my comments on your site – so why should I post your stuff? It works both ways. You adoption people do not want a fair and equitable debate or rebuttal. But whine that I don’t post your comments.

Your very site is hypocritial. You post rules saying that inflammatory and falsified posts will not be tolerated – but that’s all I saw on your site. It’s better to be upfront about things. Don’t beat around the bush – I don’t. I tell it like it is. And if you can’t take the heat – stay out of the kitchen, or, er, my blog.

But see, like Joan, bullies like you can dish it out, but can’t take it. I have the Freedom of Speech to say what I want. If Joan can say what she wants about me, then I can say what I want about her. The only difference is: Joan lies. I tell the truth.

That’s right – I said BULLIES. Only bullies tell others to keep silent. I have been victimized by Joan and her lies. I will not be silenced. I stand up to bullies. And I stand up to those who tell me to keep silent.  Joan wrote a whole book about me and my family – and continues to write lies —  where are your admonitions to her to shut up? No, I will not be bullied into silence.

I challenge any one to set up a lie detector test for ANYTHING that I have stated on this blog. And by the gods, I will pass it every single time. Because I am not the liar – Joan Wheeler is.

Cyber Stalking or merely reading a blog on the World Wide Web -Dictator Joan issues another selfish decree! May 20, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler.
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roflmao! So we are accused of cyber stalking again. um, correct me if I’m wrong – but if a thing is put out on the internet, then it is meant to be READ? And just how would Joan Wheeler know what is on our blog, and that we are “cyber-stalking”? By reading something here on our blog? Well, as you see, DICTATOR  Joan Wheeler wants to come here to read our blog, but she declares that we CANNOT read hers. geez!

Joan, my dear, you do not own the internet. And if you are putting MY name on YOUR adoption discussion forum, than I claim the right to see what is being said about ME! YOU do not own MY name, I do. If you talk about me on the net, I want to know about it.

Oh, but whiny little Joan Wheeler, all over her book bitches and moans when she finds out (or even imagines) when people are talking about HER. But she thinks she can talk about ME and doesn’t see that is a double standard.

Grow up Joan. “oh, they’re talking about me again.” Well, you talked about me on May 8, 2010 and directed your buddies here. It’s ok for YOU to cyber stalk ME and put MY name out on discussion forums, but we can’t do the same? And FYI: We are NOT doing the same.  We are not going on a bunch of websites talking about you. We could care less about you. And this blog is NOT about YOU: it is about ME and MY SISTERS, refuting YOUR lies. And we are not talking about YOUR life, we are talking about OUR lives. Your life gets mentioned when it has affected ours. And by they way, YOU talked about OUR lives in your book! So what’s your beef? What an idiot! Joan can talk about MY life, but I can’t talk about hers. Joan can go on the internet and talk about ME, but she doesn’t want ME to go on the internet and talk about HER. Talk about being a bully! Joan Wheeler – consummate cyber bully. Like she has been all her life. She has no self-esteem, so to get her way, she resorts to bullying. Do as I say, not as I do, is her command! Joan, YOU DO NOT COMMAND ME! I do as I see you do. uh, I mean, isn’t that what you want? Us to think like you? No? Well what the hell DO you want? pshaw, I don’t care what you want. You sure don’t care what I want, and never did. I was just a piece of dirt to you. A piece of dirt you thought you could steal from and get away with it. well, in a sense you did, because you never repaid the money you stole, but you know, what goes around, comes around. You’ll pay for all the crap you did to me and my sisters. And I think it’s coming round.  If isn’t evident at the moment, it will shortly. I don’t know when, but things are going to blow up in your face.  lol.

oh, and thanks for the publicity to my blog. oh! sending more people over here to read all about the crap you did to us and the lies you’ve told about me and my family! roflmao! stupid is as stupid does. thank ye, thank ye, thank ye! lol — well peeps, you are all quite welcome to come here and read anything you want! That’s why it’s here! I WANT people to read it. Why else would I be typing this stuff up and publishing it? Just to practice my typing skills? lol.

by the way, Joan, nice job obtaining John’s birth certificate. thanks a bunch. lol. Miss Know-it-all, knows all about birth certificates. Promised John to help him get his, but couldn’t.  Why not? I thought she was the EXPERT in such things. tsk tsk. No worries, we went and got it ourselves, with absolutely no problem.

everybody, on three, sob for poor little Joanie. She can dish it out, but can't take it. boo hoo. cry for the little Joanie. sob


1. Gert – May 20, 2010 [Edit]

Joan has said ‘They read my website now, just have they have done to my other blogs. If they don’t want me in their lives, they have no business reading my website. They are obsessed with me and are determined to bring me down. I will not let that happen.’

This is Gert talking and I have NOT been on Joan’s site. It is no us that is obsessed, how would Joan know what we are saying if she is not reading our blog?

The above statement by Joan and other things are out there on the internet! Free for all to see, can’t be controlled! Listen carefully, Joan, no one is stalking or bullying you, it is all in your ‘inner life’. The purpose of this blog is so that us three sisters can have our own voices heard, without being charged, by you, of harassing, stalking or bullying you. Those days are over!

You wrote a book great! It is NOW the subject of a great deal of reading, pondering and writing reports about its contents. That is what happens when you ‘go public’, you are subjected to praise and criticisms, it is not harassing, stalking or bullying. Face the facts that it is you and only you that is afraid of what we are saying about the contents of the book.

An evil deed, like freshly drawn milk, does not turn sour at once….

Joan your evil deeds over the years of slaundering us, telling lies, fabricating nonsense with malicious intent about us, browbeating, harassing, and varioius deeds of omission (so you don’t look bad) are coming to fruition. You were the one who wrote a book, now deal with the fall out from it!

I will say what has to be said and no one Joan will stop me. I have only just began and I will not stop until I have addressed every single page of your book of lies and fabrications that deal with the lives of myself, my children, my sisters, my parents and everyone else that you mention in this book of filth.

2. RuthMay 20, 2010 [Edit]

I agree with Gert.
Go back and read the title and subtitle of this blog:
Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family
what Joan Wheeler doesn’t want us to do: expose her lies and tell the truth about us and our family

everything has a link in a chain of events:
1. Joan wrote a book. that book was full of falsehoods and slams against her own blood kin.
2. Joan goes on the internet and slams her own blood sisters – as far back as September 2008
3. A blog is put up to TELL THE TRUTH behind the falsehoods in the book and what Joan says on the internet

Cause and effect, my dear, cause and effect.
and as with most bullies, Joan can dish it out, but can’t take it. too bad, my dear. as Gert just wrote: “You were the one who wrote a book, now deal with the fall out from it.”

The latest whine from liar Joan Wheeler May 9, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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All thru her book, it’s poor poor Joanie. EVERYBODY is out to get her. From the time she was an infant, she has been mentally used and abused. Her book details harrasing phone calls and letters she has received. Does she document in her book the harassing phone calls, letters and false accusations that SHE has performed? ha ha, of course not. Joan is perfect. Joan has never hung up the phone on anyone. (yeah right). Joan has never made a pest out of herself. (yeah right).

Oh poor poor Joanie. She was denied the chance to grieve her birth mother’s loss. Guess what sweetie, so was I! And my sisters. You don’t see us whining about it! Joan whines continuously about her mother in her book. And I have to agree, that woman is toxic, toxic, toxic. But Joan stays in that toxic relationship.

Why? Because she has no money to support herself. Why? Because she wouldn’t get a dam job all those years ago. So she took the trade off. Live with her mother, who treated her and her kids like dirt. She says so right in the book! Nice. Instead of providing a HAPPY home for herself and her children, she choose to stay in a toxic relationship. You can’t help people like that. They whine about their sad lot in life. But won’t do anything to improve their life. They will make a show of going to counseling, but what counseling is not about a counselor waving a magic wand and saying, “now, go, your life is fixed.” No, YOU have to do the work. YOU have to face your demons that is making behave in such a manner that people don’t want anything to do with you. YOU have to make the change.

In 54 years, Joan has been browbeaten by that domineering, contradictory woman. Joan says herself in her book that HER OWN ADOPTIVE MOTHER SENT HARASSMENT LETTERS TO HER. (and I bet those are the ones that I got the blame for). In reading Joan’s book the sick co-dependency of these two woman, I get the feeling that person who placed the child abuse call on Joan in December 1994 was her mother. It was a clear engineering to get ME in trouble with my husband. And make no mistake, that woman HATED me, I don’t know why. Right on the top of page 300 Joan quotes her mother “That’s what’s wrong with your sisters. They didn’t have a mother and look how they turned out.” This was in 1992. When Joan was describing in her book a whole fight that didn’t happen, but the words came out of Dorothy’s mouth. And way before the “gloves were thrown down and the real fighting began. But the fighting was because of Joan’s own harassment of me.

So getting back to how Dorothy comments on how I turned out. How I turned out? How dare you Dorothy? How do you dare pass judgement on me? When just two years before, YOUR daughter stole money from me. In 1984, YOUR daughter went to a rock concert in Kitchener Ontario, and there was a pool table party. And she was married for just over a year! With an infant son at home! In 1989 YOUR daughter was supplementing the family income via a very unlady-like means. YOUR daughter, in 1992, showed up drunk at my house at 5 am one Sunday after being with a folksinger on tour from England. And how does Joan even dare to even quote her mother as saying that? thanks for sticking up for your blood kin dear sister.

How I turned out? ok, I have had the same dam job for 37, going on 38 years. Joan doesn’t even have a job. I have had the total of 5 sexual partners in my entire life, 2 from 1975, those being my two wonderful husbands. . I couldn’t hazard a guess as to Joan’s tally. I have NEVER called ANYBODY’S job trying to get them fired over a false accusation. Joan did this to me, her own blood kin. I have never stolen money from anybody, Joan did from me.

So in the interest of basic human rights, of which, Joan has trampled on mine, time and time again, I am posting Dick’s article here. Read it and learn. AND WOULD SOMEBODY TEACH THESE THINGS TO JOAN, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY HER MOTHER NEVER TAUGHT THE WOMAN BASIC MORALS.

 I MAY NOT HAVE HAD A MOTHER, BUT I DON’T STEAL, I DON’T LIE, I DON’T CHEAT ON MY HUSBAND (neither one). AND I KEEP MY BODY PURE. So take your sanctimonious preaching Dorothy and shove it where the sun don’t shine. Because me and my sisters turned out a hell of a lot better than YOUR daughter.

Now as to Joan’s latest whine to her adoption friends that she spent Easter looking for a lawyer to sue me. (um Easter is on a Sunday, and lawyers don’t work on a Sunday). Well, Joan, whine and threaten me. Go ahead , get a lawyer to sue me for harassing you via this blog. What civil rights of MINE have YOU violated with that trashy book of yours. Hey lawyer! Hear MY side of the story. How Joan published MY picture on the back of her book WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! I want compensation for that Joan. No lawyer in hell will touch you because YOU broke the law!

YOU have violated my civil rights. Go ahead, lecture Sara from Illinois, but why don’t you take your advice? How dare you violate MY civil rights with that lie-filled book, and my blog contains court records that show you for the liar you are. Come see me lawyer, hear the truth. Joan is lying to you. The harassment that occurs is JOAN’S lies. She says she has “multiple orders of protection” against me. THIS IS A LIE. AND I HAVE THE COURT DOCUMENTS ON THIS BLOG TO PROVE IT.    (click on link to see them) Joan is the one harassing people with lies of this sort. so go ahead and get a lawyer Joan. I want to see you in court. Let’s go. They will tell you to stop publication of that lying book that has MY picture that you used WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. You want to play with fire, I’m a Leo, a fire sign. Let’s have at it!

MY civil rights are violated in that lying book of hers. Like Joan publishing that comment that her mother said about how I turned out. And telling people that I have been arrested and have a criminal record. Joan, my dear, that is slander and libel. So you want a lawyer? Let’s see how a judge will react when they read that crap in your book, and research my “criminal record.” My dear, you are going to make yourself to look the fool that you are. You really want to go there? Like I said, let’s have at it! Better prove your claims in your book. Like how you have “multiple orders of protection against me.” Really? Just because you conveniently burned your belongings in your lviing room, ( a sign of mental instability), doesn’t mean that can’t be researched. Court documents, my dear, are not destroyed. I have the docket numbers, silly, and they will back up MY truth: that you had only ONE order of protection against me, for 6 months, and it was on condition, and then dismissed, so in reality, you didn’t have even ONE. You want to play lawyer with me? You want to sue me? I will halt publication of your book and have all royalties turned over to me, because YOU violated MY civil rights in it. So I will expect to see in court? Let’s go. Don’t threaten, DO!

Don’t whine, and stop contradicting yourself. I never called child abuse on you. And the call was NOT about that YOU sexually abused your children. The report, and I have already scanned and posted YOUR letter to Albany, New York, that the call was that my boyfriend and you had sex in front of your kids and you and your mom forced them to watch. And no, I did not make that call. Why would I call child abuse, give them MY name, and further say that MY fiance, FIANCE, not “boyfriend” is having sex with you. um, silly, that’s the guy I was engaged to marry, and did marry. Why would I want to risk him going to jail? No, no, you had that part right in your post to your adoptee buddies: I am claiming that it was YOU who made that child abuse call, to break me and John up. But now that I read how mentally sick your mother has been, and how you write in your book how she sent harassing letters to you, I’m beginning to wonder. Who did make that call? Your mother hated me. Why? I don’t know. When I was the one who supported you and her during her husband’s illness and death. I showed nothing but respect to her. And I got kicked in the teeth by her. Wouldn’t surprise one dam bit  if was her who made that call.

click here to see the letter Joan wrote to Albany. And see the letters Joan wrote to my then fiance, now husband, and his mother, in an attempt to discredit me in their eye and to break me and John up. Who was harassing whom in 1994-1995, mmmm Joan? YOU were harassing ME. YOU were pissing on me back them. So take your whining and shove it!  Any visitors from the adoption forum that Joan sent over here: yeah, take a good look at your buddy. And “sweet” Mara, are you that dim that you don’t recognize a sarcastic slam? And why are YOU telling Joan not to read this blog, when YOU are clearly reading it. No, “Sweeeet” Mara, I think you are nothing close to sweet. You are a filthy mouthed troll. And no, Mara, our family was NOT torn apart by and because of Joan’s adoption. she wants credit for everything. No, my father remarried a few months after our mom died. His second wife was mentally ill, and the times she was in the hospital, was when we were in the foster home and orphanage.

AFTER we were reunited with Joan in 1974, our family was STILL not torn apart. JOAN was asked to leave because of all the pissing she did on us: like stealing, meddling, being an out and out bitch. But you adoptees LIKE being bitches don’t you? You are so angry with the world because you were adopted. oh boo hoo. MY mother died when I was 3, and I never knew her. You don’t see ME being a bitch to everyone. Joan wants to punish the whole world, including me for her adoption. I was a three year old kid for god’s sake. And when we were adults, I refused to have a liar and a thief, and a harasser around me. If our family was torn apart, how do you account for this blog, where we siblings are sticking together? As you see, Joan speaks with a forked tongue called Joan-Fantasy-Language. If you like that sort of person, you are as sick as she is.

So there you have it. The latest on poor poor Joan, “my sisters are pissing on me.” Joan’s whole dam book was a piss session on ME and my sisters.
And won’t a lawyer and a judge like to hear that!


1. Sharry – May 9, 2010 [Edit]

Good job, Ruth!

2. chayeletMay 9, 2010 [Edit]

As one of the ‘notorious’ Sippel Sisters, I, too, grew up without my mother, and I resent the statement attributed to Dorothy Wheeler by her adoptive daughter, my birth sister, about how I and my sisters ‘turned out’, implying we have turned out to be scum. Yes, Dorothy, and JW for that matter, just look at how we turned out-not bad at all if I must say so myself.

Growing up in foster care was not the same as growing up within the family unit, but our foster parents treated us with respect and taught us good morals.But we were left wanting in the social skills department, and, once out in the world, had to fend for ourselves-that included learning those social skills as we went along. I cannot speak for Ruth or Gert, but, for myself, as soon as I became of age and could act for myself, I sought a different way of life in another country- I have lived in the UK for 37 years-if I have turned out so badly, I’m sure the good people of my adoptive (there’s that word again) country would have booted me out long ago. But here I am, still plugging away, able to look people in the eye, able to look my own soul in the eye, and know that, so far at least, I have done the best I could given any set of circumstances, without doing deliberate harm to anyone.

I converted to Judaism some years ago. Judaism strongly believes that although the world is far from perfect, it can be improved. What is more, Judaism teaches that in a very real sense, we human beings are co-creators with G-d of the world, and, therefore, it is our duty to help Him perfect it. This concept is called Tikkun Olam- healing the world (source:Judaism- a Religion of Deeds and Ideals, by David C Gross,1992, Hippocrene Books, Inc).

For myself, I choose to practise Tikkun Olam through my music, or rather I should say, I have been given the opportunity of healing the world through my music, and being involved in the Jewish, and wider, communities. I am not a goody-goody-two shoes, but neither am I scum.

The greatest gift you give others is the example of your own life working. What an example we have in the lives and attitudes of Dorothy and Joan Wheeler-no, thank you. I’ll stick to mine.

Yes, just see how the Three Sisters turned out, and how JW turned out-I begin to see a secret back-handed compliment to us in that statement by Dorothy Wheeler- I humbly thank you from the bottom of my heart!

3. chayeletMay 9, 2010 [Edit]

As to JW’s lawyer-baiting- I’m with Ruth- I want compo for use of my image on the back of that book without permission and slander/libel, so yes, bring it on J Baby-I’m waiting.

Standing up for oneself is also a form of Tikkun Olam, and is an example of one who can look oneself and one’s soul in the eye. Can you, J Baby?

THE 11 HUMAN RIGHTS by Dick Sutphen – submitted by Ruth Pace. and applying to them to a liar like Joan Wheeler May 8, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Uncategorized.
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For a number of years, I have read articles and listened to self-hypnosis, self-help tapes from Dick Sutphen. dicksutphen.com  I receive a weekly newsletter in my email from Dick and his wife Tara. I also attended a couple of seminars from Dick and Tara in Lilydale, NY.

Joan’s book Forbidden Family is full of such angst, such torment. She is such a tormented soul. Have her years in therapy done anything? Apparently not. A person can be addicted to therapy. They can WANT to be in therapy and NOT WANT to get better. This is to perpetuate the victim mindset. The sympathy ploy.

So in the interest of basic human rights, of which, Joan has trampled on mine, time and time again, I am posting Dick’s article here. Read it and learn. AND WOULD SOMEBODY TEACH THESE THINGS TO JOAN, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY HER MOTHER NEVER TAUGHT THE WOMAN BASIC MORALS. 

THE 11 HUMAN RIGHTS by Dick Sutphen This month, I’ve received a couple requests to post my “11 Human Rights,” so here they are. These rights allow for expression instead of repression. The assertive individual grants them to all others while demanding them for himself.

1. You have the right to do anything as long as you do not purposely hurt someone else and you are willing to accept the consequences.

2. You have the right to maintain your self-respect by answering honestly even it does hurt someone else (as long as you are being assertive rather than aggressive.)

3. You have the right to be what you are without changing your ideas or behavior to satisfy someone else.

4. You have the right to strive for self-actualization (to be all you can be).

5. You have the right to use your own judgment as to the need priorities of yourself and others, if you decide to accept any responsibility for another’s problem.

6. You have the right not to be subjected to negativity.

7. You have the right to offer no excuses or justification for your decisions or behavior.

8. You have the right not to care.

9. You have the right to be illogical.

10. You have the right to change your mind.

11. You have the right to defend yourself.

 Live your life doing things because you want to do them or because as a personal value judgment or compromise, you have agreed to do them. Any decision resulting in loss of self-respect is unacceptable. Do not do things because they are expected of you or because you think you should or because you will feel anxious or guilty if you don’t.

Assertion is commonly mistaken for aggression, but understand that to be assertive means that you are standing up for your basic human rights. Aggression is a matter of forcefully violating the rights of another, and there is no excuse for such behavior.

An important part of assertiveness is showing consideration for the feelings and rights of others, without letting your kindness or empathy be used as an opening for manipulation. Realize that background conditioning has made everyone good at manipulation and people will use your vulnerability as an opening. The better they know you, the better they know your vulnerable areas. So, the assertive individual becomes an expert at expressing his rights, needs and feelings in a kind way. She shows equal respect for the same rights, needs and feelings of others.

People often avoid being assertive because they feel others will dislike or avoid them if they speak up and say what they really feel. That is not a rational justification for allowing yourself to be manipulated. If, by any chance, someone stopped liking you because you said “no,” are you going to miss their friendship? If you are one of the millions who go through life thinking that a wrong word, refusal or assertion is going to end a relationship, it is time to realize that is simply not how things work. Such thinking is usually based on such a strong need to be liked that you sacrifice your own self-respect, often without realizing it. You also probably fail to distinguish between being liked and being respected.

Now is the time to become an assertive individual. You have basic human rights that others are going to have to learn to respect, just as you will respect their rights. As a free, assertive individual, you will actually learn to give and take more fairly than ever before, thus becoming of more service to yourself and others. Now is the time to become relaxed about revealing yourself through your words and actions and to begin to communicate openly, directly, and honestly with the people in your life.


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