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Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters, Uncategorized.
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Readers of this blog and Joan’s website may be interested to know that:


Joan says on her website today, “thank you for the phenomenal publicity that we have given her.”

Roflmao! Another delusion from a person who needs to have psych medications!

Joan M. Wheeler has egg on her face – she has been EXPOSED as a LIAR and a CON-ARTIST!

The “phenomenal publicity” contained in this blog “Refuting the Book Forbidden Family” has always been to chronicle and PROVE with actual documents that Joan is a LIAR. Only an IMBECILE thanks the people who have brought attention to the fact that they are a LIAR!

There cannot be many actual copies of this book – She had to SELF-PUBLISH it, with the lowest package that the company offered – $800.00 – do the math people – the selling price of the book is $45.00 – it is offered on Amazon.com which gets about 40% of the monies. Trafford gets it’s cut – they have to make a profit – so figuring at least 75% going to Amazon and Trafford – that leaves $200.00  from her initial investment! Divide that up – I get about 4 and a half copies! We can account for 5 copies right off the bat. And having spoken on the phone with a representative from Trafford, we got this statement: “It is hardly a best-seller.” Roflmao! So who is Joan trying to fool? – Don’t be fooled by this con-artist – she’s a liar, she’s been exposed – she is dead in the water.

She may try to come up with a “new and improved” book, but rest assured, The Three Sippel Sisters will be right there to make dam sure she tells the truth.

So here is the email I sent to the publisher Trafford/Author Solutions over the weekend, and their response? THEY PULLED THE BOOK!

Now stop and ask yourself the question WHY? Why would the company pull the book just because I, Ruth, emailed them – BECAUSE THEY SEE THE PROOF THAT YOU DELUDED PEOPLE AND JOAN WON’T ADMIT TO: THAT JOAN M. WHEELER IS A LIAR! – Of course those people who see right through Joan’s lies are not delusional and know just what kind of nonsense, word-twisting, fact-twisting propaganda Joan is capable of. For Joan to try to justify her lies by saying she purposely mixed up dates and events to protect identities is BULLSHIT!

To lie about the length of an order of protection is protecting NO ONE! To stretch the actual time of six-months to one year does nothing to protect ANY one’s identity. To LIE about a non-event (a 3 month court battle and further LIE that “Brenda” accosted her children outside a court room was done to put her birth sister in a bad light and garner sympathy for herself UNDER FALSE PRETENSES). Don’t be fooled by her propaganda! She has said over and over that everything in her book was the TRUTH. Now, by saying she “mixed up dates and events” she is ADMITTING THAT SHE DID NOT PRESENT THE TRUTH. Like a true snake with a forked tongue, she is trying to cover her ass. DON’T BUY IT! Her own daughter says  “my mother is crafty at twisting words.”

I have said MANY times on this blog that Joan continuously mixes up dates and events and presents them in an untruthful manner. I have challenged her MANY times to come clean. I have said again and again that even when confronted by actual documents and her own handwritten letters to explain the discreencies, all she does is say she is telling the truth. For a year and a half this blog has been saying this over and over. For a year and a half she kept saying that – why all of a sudden is she changing her story? Because on Friday, May 6, she was told to do revisions of her book – and by posting her “thank you” on her website on Friday, she is COVERING HER LYING ASS! But after receiving an email from me on Monday morning (May 9,) the decision was made BY THE PUBLISHER that instead of a revision, the book Forbidden Family will be pulled in its entirety.

Her rationale of  lying was “Protecting identitys?” BALONEY! If she wrote ONLY the truth – the identity would still be protected – but what readers don’t know – is that in back in the early 1990’s she published a short article called “The Secret is Out” and used OUR TRUE NAMES! Anybody in the adoption reform field who read that article, then read the book Forbidden Family would already KNOW our names – because Joan had already published our names 20 years ago. So who is Joan kidding when she says that WE identified ourselves on this blog first – now SHE did. She did NOT protect our identities. Joan used her real name in the book. Sh used her real birth name Sippel and put MY family’s photo on the back – and it takes no genius in the City of Buffalo to recognize my father, a well-known employee at Buffalo City Hall, and many people knew about his giving his daughter for adoption – to put 2 and 2 together and identify me and others in the book.

She also puts in her book, my mother’s true name – and since MY name is in her obituary – published in 1956 – MY identity is right there. And smearing somebody’s reputation, whether you use their true name, or not is just simply the same thing – a smear campaign. Joan, you cannot weasel your way out of it – you are a LIAR! Plain and simple as that! LIAR!

Here then is my letter to the publisher:

May 6, 2011 –

Eugene Hopkins

Trafford, Author Solutions

Dear Mr. Hopkins,

I am the younger sister of Gert McQueen, with whom you have been in discussions with for the past few months over the book that your company published, “Forbidden Family” by Joan M. Wheeler.

I know that you had received our complaint about this book back on January 21, 2011. I also emailed you my co-complaint on this book. Included in my email, I attached several scanned official court documents pertaining to court cases between Ms. Wheeler and myself.

It is my understanding that recently you remarked to Gert that you were reluctant to get involved in a “family squabble.” Mr. Hopkins, Ms. Wheeler ceased to be a legal family member to us when she was adopted out of our family in 1957. Although we were reunited in 1974, I cut ties with her in 1990 after she stole hundreds of dollars from me. She further alienated herself to me in 1993 when she filed a false police report against me, over phone calls that I placed to her house, (in response to a letter she sent me). I called her house, and she said to me “hold on,” and hung up on me.  She then reported to the police that I was placing threatening calls to her. I was summoned into court and Ms. Wheeler was granted a six-month order of protection against me.

In her book, that your company published, she records this incident, but claims that I was placed under arrest (I was not.), that she was granted a one-year order of protection against me (it was for six-months), that I was placed on probation (I was not), and that I have a criminal record (I do not). 

I covered this and more in my emailed complaint to you and provided the actual court documents that prove that Ms. Wheeler lied, committing the crime of LIBEL in her book, that your company published.

In another part of her book, Ms. Wheeler describes a three month court battle between me and her in the year of 1994. This is completely false.

Also, on the back cover of the book, which your company published, is a family photograph that is of my parents, my siblings, and myself. Ms. Wheeler herself is NOT in the photograph at all – and the picture was taken BEFORE Ms. Wheeler was not even born, therefore, she wasn’t even a member of the family pictured on the back of her book. I have never given Ms. Wheeler permission, orally, or in writing, permission to use my photograph on her book. Also, since the photograph was taken sometime mid-1955, and Ms. Wheeler was born on January 7, 1956, and then 4 months later adopted out of the family, she does not OWN this photograph. She may “own” a paper copy of this photo, but since she was NOT a legal member of the family depicted in the photo, she does NOT have the legal right to publish it and gain monetary gain from it.

Whether you think of me and Ms. Wheeler as “family members” or not has no bearing on the basis of our complaint – that is being that Ms. Wheeler (and your company) has/have published my picture without my legal consent. In lying about a three month court case between us in 1994, and lying about the length of time the order of protection granted to her in 1993, Ms. Wheeler is presenting falsehoods about the City Court of the City of Buffalo. When Ms. Wheeler presents in her book that I was placed under arrest, she is presenting falsehoods about the Buffalo Police Department.

Further, may I ask you Mr. Hopkins, should a person be subjected to such slander and libel with no recourse, simply because they are related to the perpetrator? The issue of Ms. Wheeler being related to me and Gert is a NON-issue. Ms. Wheeler lied in her book. That is all that should concern you.

Gert tells me that several times in her conversations with you, you have told her that our complaint is in your legal department, and you have yet to hear back from your lawyers.

On your website is the Terms and Conditions for authors to agree to when submitting their work for publication. I cite the following items that Ms. Wheeler is in violation of YOUR own Terms and Conditions.


2.1. You represent that (i) you are the sole copyright owner of the Work and all of its content.

   Ms. Wheeler is in violation of this because she has MY likeness on the back of her book, WITHOUT my consent.

2.4. You further represent that the Work does not contain illegal, unlawful or objectionable material including, but not limited to, pornography, obscenity or hate speech. You acknowledge that the Work is not plagiarized and does not include

falsely attributed statements of third parties.

.    Ms. Wheeler is in violation of the second sentence, because as I pointed out above, she has lied about actual court proceedings between her and me.

I further cite YOUR Terms and Conditions as presented to authors on your website:


7.1. Suspension of Services. Upon a breach, default, or failure by you to comply with these Terms and Conditions or the failure to cooperate with us in the provision of any Services, we will have the right to suspend any or all performance until you cooperate with these Terms and Conditions and/or cooperate with us in the provision of Services.

Since I have just pointed out that Ms. Wheeler IS in violation of 2.1 and 2.4 of YOUR Terms and Conditions as presented on your website, Mr. Hopkins, you have NO choice, but to pull the book Forbidden Family off the market, your website, and your advertisement of it on Amazon.com. I don’t understand why your lawyers cannot come up with a timely interpretation of your own terms and conditions, the definition of the term libel, and the application of the term libel to Ms. Wheeler’s statements of me in her book that you published.

On page 670 of the Tenth Edition (1994) of the Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary are the following definitions of the term LIBEL:

–          A written or oral defamatory statement or representation that conveys an unjustly unfavorable impression.

–          A statement or representation published without just cause and tending to expose another to public contempt.

–          Defamation of a person by written or representable means

–          The act, tort, or crime of publishing such a libel

I believe that all four definitions cover what Ms. Wheeler has done in her book. By falsely reporting in her book that I have an arrest record, she is conveying a unjustly unfavorable impression.

You have stated to Mrs. McQueen that you do not want to be in the middle of a “family squabble.” This is no “family squabble.” It is accurate accusation of libel and a justifiable demand for the pulling of this book.

I expect to be hearing shortly on your decision to do a right and lawful action: the pulling of this libelous book.

Thank you for your help in this matter.

Very sincerely yours,

Mrs. Ruth Pace

cc: Kevin Weiss; Kevin A. Gray; Gert McQueen


Joan Wheeler lies again about her birth sisters on the Huffington Post site March 4, 2011 March 5, 2011

Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Ruth Pace

On March 4, 2011, Joan Wheeler continued her character assassination and smear campaign against her birth sisters. Why? Because Gert and I dared to post a comment on the Huffington Post forum. Which is our RIGHT as Americans.

Answering an article entitled “Adoptees are Americans,” Joan Wheeler had made references AGAIN to her birth family. She has no right to be posting about ME or MY family. In her comment, Joan said that she was adopted when she was 4 months old. In my answering comment, I said that she was adopted when she was 3 months old. Joan answered and pointed out that she was 3 months old when our mom died and was adopted out a month later. I saw that she was correct, and posted again, admitting to my mistake. I do this, see, because unlike Joan, I ADMIT TO WHEN I AM WRONG!

However, Joan decided to take things to a further level. Instead of correcting me and leaving it at that, Joan just HAD to start her lying again. After she corrected me, she goes on to say that Gert and I are stalking her. And she says that she has not had a relationship with us for more than 3 decades.

Call it stalking if you want, but yes, we monitor what Joan posts on the internet, BECAUSE WE AS AMERICANS HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW WHAT IS BEING SAID ABOUT US AND OUR FAMILY. If Joan does not like that, the solution is obvious: JOAN NEEDS TO STOP POSTING ABOUT HER BIRTH FAMILY!

Why do we take this stand? Because whenever Joan posts about us, it usually lies, inuendos, misreprsentations, false accusations, and exaggerations.

Case in point: right there in her return comment to me, she says “I have had no relationship with them for over 3 decades!”

THIS IS A FALSEHOOD! This is the year 2011. 3 decades is 30 years, which takes us back to 1981. Well, for crying out loud, I was one of her bridesmaids in the year 1983! She admits to this in her lying book Forbidden Family. And in her book, she relates outings to the beach with me in the years 1988 – 1990!

So when I commented, I pointed this discrepency out to her. What was her response? She goes on the attack – because in her faulty brain, she thinks that I, and my sister do not have the right to correct her. She can correct me, but will not accept a correction in turn. So she posts several posts on the Huffington site and slanders and libels us again.

Sorry Joan, but I am an American. I have the right to comment on the internet when someone lies about me or my family. If you don’t like that, then stop lying. Get used to the fact that whenever you post a lie, it WILL be answered and refuted!

Joan’s problem is that she has diarrhea of the mouth – everytime she tells a story she embellishes it. Witness the fact that she says she has had no relationship with us for over 3 decades! She touts herself as being an author – but she hasn’t learned the basics of truthtelling! She demands the truth in adoption and birth certificates, but does not deal in the truth herself!

When Joan posts on the internet about adoption, we are silent, because we don’t care about her adoption reform work. It doesn’t bother us one whit about her passion on adoption. But when she starts posting about us, or our family, you better believe we sit up and take notice – because as AMERICANS, we have that right. And we claim that right.

Joan, accept it – we are watching. If you post about us, it better be the truth – because we will always come right back at ya!

When Will Joan Wheeler stop Playing Games, Stop Lying, and be a Truthful Person? September 30, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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so today I get this email from Gert:

“interestingly…there is a slight change on Joan’s site, on the cyberbullying article, she has REMOVED the date she wrote it AND the date she UPDATED it!!! But WHY does she continue to have the refuting blog and other sites up? Because she WANTS the attention!! and she can’t tear herself away from us.”

Joan, you are 54 years old. Stop the game playing. By putting updates on your website trashing your sisters yet again in September 2010 and backdating your update to May 2010 shows everyone what a liar you are. Now because we pointed that out here in our blog, you go in and remove all the dates.  GROW UP! What – just because YOU are stupid, you think the rest of the world is stupid too?

And yet again Joan, you show the world what a liar you are. The only way for you to know that we blogged your manipulation of the dates of your updates would be for you to be reading our blog. Yet you keep insisting that you don’t read our blog!  Then for you to read that we are onto your date manipulation, you try to cover your tracks by removing all the dates! What a friggin’ coward you are – YOU HAVE THE DAM GUTS TO LIE, TRY TO MANIPULATE YOUR WEBSITE READERS AND YOUR FRIENDS AT THE ADOPTION FORUM BY DELIBRATELY  PUTTING UP WRONG DATES, THEN WHEN YOU GET CALLED OUT ON THE CARPET, YOU TRY TO ERASE THE EVIDENCE. HA HA HA.

Well, you sure showed the entire world what an ass you really are. Oh, what was the accusation that you put up there on your website – that we are going around calling you an asshole? No, we are not, and never HAVE gone to various websites calling you an asshole. We don’t need to. Because with your latest stunt, you have shown the entire world just what you are. –no, I won’t call you it – because everybody already knows it – I, and my sisters have no need to call you an asshole. Because you just did it to yourself. You just made yourself out to be an —- well, you know the old saying – “if the shoe fits — WEAR IT!” And you seem to wear it well.

oh, to save you the trouble of typing it out – let’s just put the blame on good ol Ruth again. yepper, RUTH came over to your house. RUTH dragged you out of bed. RUTH forced you to your computer. RUTH forced you to sign onto your website and go to your cyberbullying page. RUTH forced you to highlight the dates in question and RUTH forced you to hit the delete button.

ha ha ha ha. O my goddess, what a joke! Are you for real?  Now go and whine to your adoption buddies. Summon them again – and by the way, your summoning didn’t work – NOT ONE COMMENT WAS PLACED ON MY BLOG BY YOUR FRIENDS.

Face it Joan, your gameplaying and your whining is doing you in – NOT Ruth or the 2 other Sippel Sisters – you keep lying, you keep playing games, you keep showing that you have no honor, no integrity. And you just showed the whole world what a coward you are.

Thanks for the laugh – omg, I really needed that!

oh – has it been six weeks? no- August 25 to September 29 – only 5 weeks. close enough.

To prevent Joan from saying that she never had dates up – here are two screenshots of Joan’s blog that I just did – it shows how her cyberbullying page apeared on September 7, 2010. I show the beginning of the cached page to show the date, and the actual part of the page with the questionable dates. The third image is a screenshot of the page as it currently is, and the dates are not there. The coward took them off!

Joan Wheeler says she stands for Adoption Reform. She can’t even stand for herself and back up her own words – because she knows those words are LIES!

1. Gert – October 1, 2010

And yes, we shall continue to read Joan’s site because we shall monitor what she says about us there…not for harassment purposes…but for refuting her lies…big difference.

Our review and refuting of the book of lies continues on…is Joan ready to answer us?

Bullying Untruths – and we can see through your little games Joan Wheeler – why are you lying about dates when you post on your own website? September 23, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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Okay, here we have some MORE manipulation and BULLYING  by Joan Wheeler. Supposedly, back in May 2010, Joan added more nonsense to her website. We Three Sippel Sisters did not see this lying nonsense until September 18. Contrary to Joan’s insistence that we are visiting her website and stalking her. We do check out her site from time to time. And guess what – even though her cyberbullying page is listed as being updated on May 18 (or May 8) – it wasn’t there until just recently. A Google cache snapshop of the page on September 6, 2010, does NOT show her additional little snotty FALLACIES,, not FACTS of her miserable life or her sisters. Joan forgets that the internet is for keeps. And things can be sooooo easily checked.

So there you go Rus – contrary to what she told you – she is NOT interested in keeping the peace, or stopping the lies,  because as her little addition of  September, 2010, and backdating it to May 2010, she continues to post garbage about us. And we claim the right to know what is being is written about us. Call it “stalking” if you will – but it is NOT stalking – it is ferreting out Joan Wheeler’s lies and then refuting them here on this website. Joan’s addition is a paragraph telling lies about each of her sisters and lists them as FACTS. These are far from FACTS – these are fallacies, fallacies made up by Joan in a further attempt to damage the reputations of her sisters – these are in FACT – crimes of harassment and STALKING! And these fallacies are twisted reportings of personal items and events in the lives of her sisters. what are you doing Joan? Practicing writing for the tabloids? Your “reporting” and writing skills is just on that level.

I have already refuted the FALLACIES of Joan’s bullshit about me with my post of September 20, 2010: Facts, facts, facts – Joan Wheeler makes up facts to suit her own fantasies. But the real facts are quite different.  This current post is Gert’s answers to Joan’s bullying FALLACIES.

This is indeed the last time we will answer any more of Joan’s continued little additional “facts” about us, because frankly, we see no reason why Joan keeps coming up with these “new” additional facts. I mean, didn’t she write a whole dam book about us? oh wait – it’s a book about her – right? WRONG – the book is all about all the little sins that her sisters committed against her. I mean it’s over 600 pages long – but she keeps finding more stuff in the little recesses of her little mind to tattle about us. And most of these “new”facts are just rehasing of what she has said in the book, and even incredibliy enough, DIRECT CONTRADICTIONS OF WHAT SHE HAD SAID IN THE BOOK! She changes the FACTS of her own FACTS – and we have pointed out each and every contradiction. And that is getting dam tiring – so keep on typing your silly lies, Joan, keep on changing the facts of events every time you retell it, we are getting back to the business at hand – refuting all the lies contained in your book. I now turn the podium over to Gert —

From Gert —
my answers to part of the bullying untruths update supposedly of May 2010, but in reality, September 2010.

On Joan Wheeler’s site she posted, yet again, various untruths about her birth sisters. She has called us ‘the three Sippel sisters’ but she doesn’t include herself, even though she was ‘born’ a Sippel and is our blood sister. The title she has given us is because she fully believes that our entire lives have been devoted to destroying hers. Untrue. We are devoted to restoring honor to our own lives. She also says we are bullying her, untrue, we are only defending ourselves against all the untruths that Joan has printed about us. I am here addressing a couple of things that Joan has said, in an update supposedly on May 8, 2010, but in reality, September 2010. I am only addressing statements related to myself or those that I can speak about.

Joan states:  Here are facts about my life:

Gert answers: this statement is first of all an untruth, for her life has nothing to do with our lives, we are all individuals. Secondly, hasn’t Joan already written a ‘truthful’ account of her life? Then why are these statements, from September 2010, NOT in the book. Did she forget about them? No, she just wants to trash us again. How can she write a true account of her life and have ‘forgotten’ these facts. In fact these statements of Joan’s are her attempt to continue to trash us and she does it by the continued use of emblishments and exaggerations. To her mind, the more she can emblish a tale the worst she can make us out to be. But the truth of the matter is, is that by doing so, emblishing, she is showing everyone just how worried she is that her sisters are indeed telling the truth.

Joan states: Fact:   The three Sippel sisters, Gert, Kathy and Ruth, have written letters to all of the major adoption reform organizations in 1992 telling them what an asshole I am, and they wrote me a letter “throwing” me out of the family. This was after and during their barrage of hate mail and hate phone calls to me, harassing me, my husband and children, for decades. They do not want me in their lives and I do not want them in my life. I am not corresponding with them in any way at all, not even reading their hateful blogs about me. (Ruth’s note – in the book she says it was 9 agencies – now she changes it to ALL the agencies. AND in the book she contradicts herself on the harassing mail and phone calls she recieved. First she says it came from us, then she says it came from her adopted uncle John Wheeler, who was finally caught by the police).

Gert answers:  Why the need to repeat this, it’s all in the book. Joan likes to repeat herself many times over frequently making the fish bigger than the last time she told the story. And Joan is an asshole, want else is new! We sisters have recently answered part of this issue of the great ‘1992 letter writing’ on our blog. I myself have written about the entire book and my posts will appear in sequential order in due time. But truth is there were NO letters written to adoption organizations.

We probably did write a letter ‘throwing’ her out of the family. I have had two contacts with Joan since I divorced her in 1982, a physical visit in 1992 and a phone call in 2005. I never harassed her, her children or her adoptive mother. I DIVORCED myself from her, after her repeated interference within my marriage and my minor children and my parental authority and her calling child abuse upon me, which was proved totally unfounded. What she writes in her book is again a fabrication and twisting of the true facts. I have written about those incidents and they will be posted in due time.

Here is an example of how Joan twists facts. She writes in the book that she called child abuse on me, for fear for my child and that my child was ‘removed’ from my home because of abuse. That is false. The truth is, my child had behavioral and run-away issues. After Joan kept my run-away child from me and lied to the family about my child’s whereabouts,  it was I that called the police and I that requested a hearing in Family Court. It was THEN THAT JOAN CALLED CHILD ABUSE ON ME AND SUED ME FOR CUSTODY OF MY CHILD. It was I who had Family Court place my child in a foster home due to the behavioral and running away issues. No one took my child from me. I placed her in foster care for her safety and to keep her away from Joan. It was I who requested a home study done on Joan and she failed it. But, I have written in depth on this and it will eventually get on the blog. 

We are refutting Joan book of lies to restore our honor that she has sullied, garbaged and dishonored and we shall continue to expose Joan’s dirty deeds and words.

Joan states:  Fact:   My eldest sister, Gert, sexually molested me repeatedly during the first years of our reunion. No, this was not Genetic Sexual Attraction (as known in adoption psychology) this was initiated by drug and alcohol to intoxicate and to seduce me. She said it was “a way to get back to Momma”. So my eldest sister had her own idea of sex with me as she missed our dead mother and used me to that end. This first occurred when I was 20 years old and continued for about two years, which was two years after being found by this sister. It does not matter that I was “old enough to know better” because I was vulnerable from being found and having to deal with reunion and betrayal of my adoptive parents at that stage of young adulthood.

Additionally, my eldest sister was 29 years old at the time and in a position of authority over me (eldest sister to youngest sister). Keep in mind that I was raised an only child, too, and had no counselor or therapist to help me.  

 Gert answers:    So why didn’t Joan put this in the book? Only here, only after I came out publically to refute all her lies in her book does she state that I molested her repeatly for years. What a bunch of crap! As I’ve said before this never happened. This is just another example of emblishments and exaggerations to show that she has been victimized, which is her core belief. I have written about this and it will all come out in the wash when my extensive blog posts are posted. She writes with the purpose of sensationalizing everything, she combines and twists things to make her tale more believable than the usual nothing that in fact happened. And no where in the book does she tell the tales of her own sexual encounters.

Joan says that I seduced her as “a way to get back to Momma”, what the hell does that mean? and “So my eldest sister had her own idea of sex with me as she missed our dead mother and used me to that end.” What planet is Joan from? This is an expression of Joan’s own mind, this is how Joan thinks. I don’t think this way. What kind of sexual fantasy does Joan have that is ‘a way back to Momma’? What was it that she wanted from me in the first place?
(Ruth’s note – Well, my goodness! Gee, I grew up with Gert – we were in the same foster home together – in my teen years, I was her babysitter – we had many in depth talks – we drank together – never did drugs together, cried together about our dead mom, but NEVER did Gert make any sexual advances towards me to get back to Momma! Also, when I was 13, Gert who was married and pregnant with her second child, had me stay at her house for a weekend, where she gave me the birds and the bees talk. A very sexual conversation. With a very naive 13 year old. Gert did not take advantage of me then, or even later down the road when I was in my 20’s and we had some very graphic girl “locker room” talks. And by the way, Joan and I had some graphic girl “locker room” talks too, along with some raunchy jokes! And before the accusations start – I didn’t make any sexual advances to Joan either! And as to her allegations of threesomes with Gert, with Kathy, I’m beginning to think it was a sexual fantasy of Joan to have sex with Gert and Kathy, and possibly me – because most of her writings of FACTS is really FANTASIES!
Joan continues to say “It does not matter that I was “old enough to know better” because I was vulnerable from being found and having to deal with reunion and betrayal of my adoptive parents at that stage of young adulthood. Additionally, my eldest sister was 29 years old at the time and in a position of authority over me (eldest sister to youngest sister). Keep in mind that I was raised an only child, too, and had no counselor or therapist to help me. “

God damn it Joan grow up!!! Don’t you have a voice of her own to speak up and say anything, when something is happening to you? What are you, a sponge that anyone can squeeze and you just sit there and do nothing! What a cop-out to say that at age 20 you didn’t have to ‘know better’! You were vulnerable! Bull shit, a cop-out!

You poor thing! you had to deal with reunion and betrayal at such a stage of young adutlhood, what kind of stupid thing is that? Who are you talking to, yourself? No adult in their right mind believes such a statement. No, you know exactly what you are doing and these statements prove it. You are a manipulator and you are using clinical type words to describe a NON-EVENT.  Just because I’m older than you doesn’t give me any authority over you, that is totally in your own mind, another cop-out.

Oh you poor dear, you were raised as an only child without a counselor or therapist to help you! And I, did I have a therapist? And your siblings did they have a counselor or a therapist! And has every child in the world have a therapist! Are really that stupid and brain dead to think that you needed a counselor and therapist to be a real person who is capable of taking responsibility for your own life!! Do you really believe that a therapist would stop you from being a victim? If that is so, then you have wasted a lot of time and money because you are still a self-declared victim, everyone dumps on you. Get in line folks, pick up some shit and dump it on Joan…she loves being dumped on!

Ruth’s note – Joan was NOT as naive as she portrays herself here – she told me she became sexually active at 16. (1972). And in 1975, when we attended the Star Trek convention in New York City, we had discussions about the two year old Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion, and both our uncertainties about that decision, trying to balance our repulsion against abortion, and our supporting a woman’s right to choose what she wants about her body. As much as I had many frank woman issues talks with Gert, I had a lot more of those types of talks with Joan – we each had a copy of “Our Bodies, Our Selves,” a book that not only talked about the physicality of a woman’s body, but touched on women’s issues that were never fully discussed before. It was a breakthrough for feminists and women everywhere in the early 1970’s. And Joan and I were both Feminists, and Women’s Libbers! Joan was quite knowledgeable about her body, and her sexuality. She was not a Veronica Virgin here – and she went out to the disco’s and bars with me and my first husband Abdo, sometimes double dating with her as Abdo’s brother Ali’s date. And the four of us drank – and smoked marijuana together. She did not sleep with Ali, because she had a steady boyfriend back in college, a black boy named Manuel. But she and Manuel did have sexual relations – how do I know these things? Because she told me? Because we were quite close – contrary to her recent lies that we (and that includes me) have been nothing but trouble to her since 1974. If I was such a trouble to you Joan, why did we have such frank girl-talks?
Joan states: Fact:   We lost our mother at her death when we were young children. They lost their baby sister to adoption and I lost my entire family due to adoption. My siblings violated our father’s privacy and confidentiality by contacting me when I was 18 without consulting him. My siblings violated my adoptive parents’ privacy and mine by contacting me when I was still in high school.        My siblings violated me in many ways.

Gert answers:    And we were not the only ones who has lost a mother. Adoption is not the issue, the real issue is in Joan’s diseased mind. We did not violate Dad’s privacy and confidentiality by contacting Joan. I spoke with an lawyer and an adoption agency and was told that siblings have the right to make contact on their own merits. No laws were broken, it is only in Joan’s diseased mind that she believes such. Again, being in high school is not the issue, she was 18, legal age, in NY State and was able to be contacted by birth family members. It is only in the adoptive family that there was and is this unhealthy view that Joan’s adoption was a secret.

Beside the violations that Joan has stated, could she please give us more details as to the ‘many ways’, we have violated her. This is a totally diseased  mind’s statement.

Joan states:    All of this could have been avoided had someone stepped in to help our father at the time his wife died to keep the family together. I have nothing but sympathy for my siblings who are suffering tremendously; we should be family instead of being torn apart. They found me because they wanted their baby sister, but they were not willing to accept the responsibility that goes with finding an adoptee who was unaware of the truth. I suffered the most in this separation and reunion. I want to spend the rest of my days in peace, free from their contact and harassment. But they follow me online, write to other bloggers and to professionals in adoption to interfere with my goals of adoption reform. They are actively involving themselves in my life, reading my blog, contacting people they have no business contacting. Enough already. I want to live in peace without them in my life. Ruth’s note – ahh, Dictator Joan is going to tell me I have no right to contact adoption experts – when she herself continues to insist that adoption has affected me and my sisters – well then if ADOPTION has affected me, than I DO have the business to contact them. – listen puppy, I will contact whomever I want – YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME JOAN – I WILL NOT OBEY YOU!

Gert answers: Joan refuses to accept reality. Period, life happens, death happens, decisions are made, life goes on, deal with it.

If Joan has sympathy for her siblings who are suffering, why is she continuing to tell lies? Again, Joan, stop blaming the birth family for your faults and your inability to be ‘part of the family’. It was you alone Joan, who violated everyone’s privacy and confidentiality by repeating, in print, things about the family that never should  have been repeated, period. It was you alone Joan who systematically destroyed every relationship that has ever come to you. Face the fact, Joan you are a sick puppy and you need to take the blame.

Ruth’s note – again, Joan REFUSES to see the realities of 1956. When my mother died, my father was left with 5 little kids – aged 3 months to 9 years – there was no welfare system like we have today – my father had to go to work – there were no daycare centers back then either – and even today, many daycare centers will NOT take care of infants. My father had no siblings – his parents were elderly – his mother worked – his father had one leg and was deaf – how was he going to run around taking care of 5 little kids? My mother’s siblings were either older as well and couldn’t deal with little ones and infant, or they had a bunch of little kids at home. My Uncle Richard did take Joan in for 3 months, but his wife was pregnant – and they all said they could take in 1 or 2, but not all 5.
As for Joan saying she suffered the most – yeah well, I can show you a lot of little kids all over the world who suffered even MORE than Joan, so just suck it up! For crying out loud Joan it is the year 2010 – WHEN are you going to live for NOW?

So the Sippel Family got a bad deal- Mama got cancer and died at the age of 30 – what could her life been had she lived? She was fond of country + western music, and was an artist. In some of her pictures she shows a tremendous sense of humor – and great love as she holds her god-daughter Judy. All 5 of us grew up not knowing this remarkable woman, but what disservice are you doing to her Joan that you are not living up to your potential? You have 2 college degrees, an artist in your right – you whine you can’t work because of your health problem. But you seem to have no problem finding the time to get on your computer and type out lie after lie.
        When I first met Joan – she had a huge weaving loom set up in the family dining room and was proud of a Native American shawl she had already woven. She was a member of the Buffalo Indian Dance group –    Joan – your kids are grown – why are you not back into your dancing? Or your weaving? My god – I have so many interests I can’t get to them because I have to work – I am eagerly w aiting for retirement so I can devote more time to them!

In other words Joan: GET A LIFE! 1956 is in the past. Mom is DEAD AND GONE. Our childhood is GONE! Our teens and twentys, the years of self-discovery are OVER! Our thirties and forties, where we start settling in are OVER! We are in our fifties and sixties, where we start looking back at our lives and start filling in the holes and start seeing our mistakes and start correcting them begin.
        And actually, if you have been a complete and whole human being, those mistakes would have been corrected years ago and NOT REPEATED over and over. And self-discovery never actually ends – I am still growing, and still discovering things about myself. I get better every year! Not so for Joan – she is still stuck like she were 10 years old, with telling little lies about her sisters. She keeps wishing that her mother hadn’t died – then her life would have been so much better. Yeah, right, so what? Same thing goes for me – I was 3 years old when my mother died. My life would have been so much better if MY mother hadn’t died too. YOU DON’T SEE ME LAYING AROUND MY HOUSE LIKE A DRIED UP OLD PRUNE TELLING LIE AFTER LIE AND WASTING MORE THAN 30 YEARS OF MY LIFE ON A TRASHY LYING BOOK! You don’t see me going to therapist after therapist, but not learing one dam thing from them! After Joan stole from me in 1990, I kicked her out of my life – it is now 19 years later – and she’s still whining about the same things she was whining about back then! And even after all the crap Joan did to me in the 90’s I had moved on from them – but then comes her book – with it’s lies and the reason I am writing about her misdeeds is to set the record straight!

Joan states:   With all this hateful rage they spew, their goal is to make my life a living hell. They have achieved their goal.

Gert answers:  No, not true. Only you Joan are responsible for your life and whether it is heaven or hell. I have nothing to do with your life. Your life is what you have made of it, not anything from me.
Ruth’s note – and if our setting the record straight from her lying book is making her life a living hell – well, that is all on her – she had a choice – she could have written a truthful book, instead she wrote a lying book. Now she needs to take the consequences of her actions.
Joan states:   If these people really do not want me in their lives, they need to stop. I do not want them in mine. By giving ignorance a voice, perhaps they will leave me alone. I have real life to tend to, and adoption reform is a big part of my life.

Gert answers:  If by these people she means her sisters, we will stop when Joan pulls the book of lies from all sales and gives us a public apology for the lies she has told about us and the family. Obviously Joan WANTS us in her life for she just wrote this piece, which I only answered part of, in September of 2010! Adoption reform! Reform yourself Joan Wheeler, it is after all your life.
Ruth’s note – yes, Joan wants us in her life – On September 22, 2010, she wrote again about us. On the internet.- saying that we had harassed her adoptive parents – and this is another lie. Her adoptive father died in 1982 – I always liked the guy and visited him a couple of times in the hospital! I really never liked her adoptive mother, but was always respectful of her, and always addressed her as Mrs. Wheeler, in a respectful way.I never harassed her. And neither did my sisters. Joan can write all she wants about HER life, but when she writes about US – she is obviously showing us and the world, that she is the one who cannot let go of US!

1. Marty – September 23, 2010

This is so crazy after all these years you would think she would stop it is soooo sad she does not have a life or the one she has is so sad

2. RuthSeptember 23, 2010

you are right Marty – it IS sad – that she does not have a life. It IS sad that the life she has is sad. But she did HAVE the loving support or her sisters UNTIL she began treating them like dirt. THIS is why we turn our hearts and backs on her – she showed us no respect – no love – she stole from us – lied about us – tried to get one of us deported – interfered with the raising of another one’s minor child – tried to get another one fired from her job and tried to break up her marriage – and to this day – just one day before I am writing this, she LIED again about us on the internet – and then whines that her sisters are bothering her?

3. gert – September 24, 2010

Yes it is quite sad!

The only reason that this blog exists is because Joan published her lies and that can not be left alone. No one gets the right to publish lies about other people, living or dead, without consequences. Joan’s entire book is a lie. Joan’s entire life is a lie…she doesn’t know how to be truthful.

Cyber Stalking or merely reading a blog on the World Wide Web -Dictator Joan issues another selfish decree! May 20, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler.
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roflmao! So we are accused of cyber stalking again. um, correct me if I’m wrong – but if a thing is put out on the internet, then it is meant to be READ? And just how would Joan Wheeler know what is on our blog, and that we are “cyber-stalking”? By reading something here on our blog? Well, as you see, DICTATOR  Joan Wheeler wants to come here to read our blog, but she declares that we CANNOT read hers. geez!

Joan, my dear, you do not own the internet. And if you are putting MY name on YOUR adoption discussion forum, than I claim the right to see what is being said about ME! YOU do not own MY name, I do. If you talk about me on the net, I want to know about it.

Oh, but whiny little Joan Wheeler, all over her book bitches and moans when she finds out (or even imagines) when people are talking about HER. But she thinks she can talk about ME and doesn’t see that is a double standard.

Grow up Joan. “oh, they’re talking about me again.” Well, you talked about me on May 8, 2010 and directed your buddies here. It’s ok for YOU to cyber stalk ME and put MY name out on discussion forums, but we can’t do the same? And FYI: We are NOT doing the same.  We are not going on a bunch of websites talking about you. We could care less about you. And this blog is NOT about YOU: it is about ME and MY SISTERS, refuting YOUR lies. And we are not talking about YOUR life, we are talking about OUR lives. Your life gets mentioned when it has affected ours. And by they way, YOU talked about OUR lives in your book! So what’s your beef? What an idiot! Joan can talk about MY life, but I can’t talk about hers. Joan can go on the internet and talk about ME, but she doesn’t want ME to go on the internet and talk about HER. Talk about being a bully! Joan Wheeler – consummate cyber bully. Like she has been all her life. She has no self-esteem, so to get her way, she resorts to bullying. Do as I say, not as I do, is her command! Joan, YOU DO NOT COMMAND ME! I do as I see you do. uh, I mean, isn’t that what you want? Us to think like you? No? Well what the hell DO you want? pshaw, I don’t care what you want. You sure don’t care what I want, and never did. I was just a piece of dirt to you. A piece of dirt you thought you could steal from and get away with it. well, in a sense you did, because you never repaid the money you stole, but you know, what goes around, comes around. You’ll pay for all the crap you did to me and my sisters. And I think it’s coming round.  If isn’t evident at the moment, it will shortly. I don’t know when, but things are going to blow up in your face.  lol.

oh, and thanks for the publicity to my blog. oh! sending more people over here to read all about the crap you did to us and the lies you’ve told about me and my family! roflmao! stupid is as stupid does. thank ye, thank ye, thank ye! lol — well peeps, you are all quite welcome to come here and read anything you want! That’s why it’s here! I WANT people to read it. Why else would I be typing this stuff up and publishing it? Just to practice my typing skills? lol.

by the way, Joan, nice job obtaining John’s birth certificate. thanks a bunch. lol. Miss Know-it-all, knows all about birth certificates. Promised John to help him get his, but couldn’t.  Why not? I thought she was the EXPERT in such things. tsk tsk. No worries, we went and got it ourselves, with absolutely no problem.

everybody, on three, sob for poor little Joanie. She can dish it out, but can't take it. boo hoo. cry for the little Joanie. sob


1. Gert – May 20, 2010 [Edit]

Joan has said ‘They read my website now, just have they have done to my other blogs. If they don’t want me in their lives, they have no business reading my website. They are obsessed with me and are determined to bring me down. I will not let that happen.’

This is Gert talking and I have NOT been on Joan’s site. It is no us that is obsessed, how would Joan know what we are saying if she is not reading our blog?

The above statement by Joan and other things are out there on the internet! Free for all to see, can’t be controlled! Listen carefully, Joan, no one is stalking or bullying you, it is all in your ‘inner life’. The purpose of this blog is so that us three sisters can have our own voices heard, without being charged, by you, of harassing, stalking or bullying you. Those days are over!

You wrote a book great! It is NOW the subject of a great deal of reading, pondering and writing reports about its contents. That is what happens when you ‘go public’, you are subjected to praise and criticisms, it is not harassing, stalking or bullying. Face the facts that it is you and only you that is afraid of what we are saying about the contents of the book.

An evil deed, like freshly drawn milk, does not turn sour at once….

Joan your evil deeds over the years of slaundering us, telling lies, fabricating nonsense with malicious intent about us, browbeating, harassing, and varioius deeds of omission (so you don’t look bad) are coming to fruition. You were the one who wrote a book, now deal with the fall out from it!

I will say what has to be said and no one Joan will stop me. I have only just began and I will not stop until I have addressed every single page of your book of lies and fabrications that deal with the lives of myself, my children, my sisters, my parents and everyone else that you mention in this book of filth.

2. RuthMay 20, 2010 [Edit]

I agree with Gert.
Go back and read the title and subtitle of this blog:
Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family
what Joan Wheeler doesn’t want us to do: expose her lies and tell the truth about us and our family

everything has a link in a chain of events:
1. Joan wrote a book. that book was full of falsehoods and slams against her own blood kin.
2. Joan goes on the internet and slams her own blood sisters – as far back as September 2008
3. A blog is put up to TELL THE TRUTH behind the falsehoods in the book and what Joan says on the internet

Cause and effect, my dear, cause and effect.
and as with most bullies, Joan can dish it out, but can’t take it. too bad, my dear. as Gert just wrote: “You were the one who wrote a book, now deal with the fall out from it.”

Guest Post From Gert McQueen, birth sister of Joan Wheeler March 4, 2010 March 27, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
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My oldest sister Gert, who has no computer,  (got that?) recently went to a public library and emailed this statement and asked me to post it here. — Ruth

From the eldest Sippel sister Gert, in respond to Joan’s book of fiction.

Having finally gotten my hands on this book of revelations! Do not relatives of Joan have the right to have their own emotions related to what she writes about them or their life or are we suppose to just allow someone to continue to lie and misrepresent us. If people have individual web sites, where they speak their own minds, like Joan, why is it that Joan’s family members are not allowed to have the same rights as she does and speak their mind. I am speaking my own mind, I have that right just as she does. No one can silent another, that went out with the Inquistion. I use techniques of Constructive Criticism and Higher Criticism when I read and comment on any book. I learned that from my years of research and writing and it is used routinely in the scholarly world.

On page 645 of Joan’s book she says she has worked in the field of social work. Would she please let her readers know when and where she worked? I’m really curious where she worked and gained her experience and you should too if the work she presents is to be believed. I took training at a Domestic HotLine center for a month and attended a couple of group sessions where my stories helped other people, does that give me creditials to say that I worked in those fields, even though I don’t hold any degrees. I also held a job for three months helping abused children, does that give me creditials to say I’m a social worker and have great experience working with abused children.

On the title pages of the book, she writes ‘some very traumatic events have been omitted’ as if to say hey there is much more that I can and will write about. Really folks all that statement says is there’s a ‘hint’ that the content of her book is going to be so sensational you must read it. It’s a come-on statement aimed at getting attention.

She says what she writes is from memory ‘without embellishment’. Really now! Who doesn’t tell a fish story when retelling from memory! If it isn’t embellished it certainly is highly subjective in nature and anyone who knows anything about ‘non-fiction’ knows that it better be object in nature if it is to be believed to be a true representation of the topic. This book should be listed as fiction.

In her acknowledgements she sure likes to drop a lot of names, as if that makes her important. It’s another publishing gimmick people, just like the foreward by a named Doctor. He calls the book a ‘reunion in progress’, but from whose point of view, totally from the adoptee, not the families! That’s biased people! You can’t have a work of non-fiction without being objective and unbiased.

She says in ‘why she wrote the book’, it was ‘to tell the truth from my point of view’ again that is totally subjective in nature and can not be considered non-fiction. Anyone’s point of view by nature is subjective and therefore does not meet the standard of truth. She ‘invites’ others, namely her family members to do ‘the hard work’ of telling their truth by writing a book. Wrong thinking. Writing a book is not the only way to tell the truth. Speaking for myself, I am doing the hard work by living my life and I don’t have any inner need to exploit the rest of my family by writing a book of fiction to play with myself.

Even on her facts she doesn’t get it right. My father went to night school to get a degree in engineering. He was a city engineer for about 30 years. He was not poor, he probably was part of that class called the ‘working poor’ like many people, including myself, have been in at one time or another. He was never out of work, like Joan is. He never cried poverty like Joan portrays him as.

There will be more from me as my life allows me the time to look at this book of subjectively fiction

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