Gert McQueen’s review of Rene Hoksbergen’s review of Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler December 27, 2011Posted by gertmcqueen in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: adoption, adoption reunion, by Joan Wheeler, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, Forbidden Family, Lies, spreading untruths
Joan M Wheeler has published a new ‘revision’ of the same old hate manifesto and renamed it ‘Duped by Adoption’. I have created a new blog and Facebook page…
Here are the links to my NEW blog and Facebook page
On Amazon, I have reviewed 7 reviews of this ‘new’ garbage book and created a ‘discussion’ on the Forward, by Rene Hoksbergen.
Here’s the link to the DISCUSSION about the FORWARD on Amazon
Here’s the link to a recent blog post Nov 3, 2015 about the contents of the forward
Here are the related links to blog posts that Ruth and I have already written and addressed topics related to Rene Hoksbergen, the author of the Forward.
https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/gert-mcqueens-review-of-rene-hoksbergens-review-of-forbidden-family-by-joan-wheeler/ this one is about the review in LAVAContact2 2010 English translation
NOW BACK TO THIS POST…
I would like to know just what Hoksbergen means when he writes this sentance: “The father tires (tries) desperately, sometimes successfully but often not, to compromise between his children.”
Again, as he did in 1993, Dr. Hoksbergen is sticking his nose into MY family’s business. CHILDREN? excuse me, sir, we were all adults with careers. Joan was the only one who refused to grow up, take on ADULT responsibilites and get a job. Many times, throughout the years that we birth siblings and our father tried to get across to Joan to GROW UP – GET A JOB – BECOME A MEANINGFUL CONTRIBUTOR TO SOCIETY. But she always has some excuse.
As to my father trying to “compromise” between us – what the hell does this mean? Along with Hoksbergen’s statement that there were feelings of jealousy, aggression and ignorance from us towards Joan. I ask you Dr. Hoksbergen – WHO TOLD YOU THIS? JOAN? Did you EVER talk to any of us? What feelings of jealousy and ignorance have I ever showed to Joan. What is ignorant is this so-called college professor to say this about me, a stranger to him. I’m ignorant? About what? Oh yeah – Joan’s pathetic life. Dr. Hoksbergen – I was busy building my own life. I had (still do) a career. As did ALL my siblings. We were supposed to stop OUR lives and understand Joan’s petty problems? Of what? She made the choice to marry a man who kept getting fired from jobs. She made the choice to be a stay-at-home mother. She made the choice NOT to get off her ass and get a job like millions of other lower-middle class people. – who also had children to raise. Get your head out of the 1950’s television shows Joan – life is NOT like Leave it to Beaver where the wife/mother stays home and does nothing. Throughout history and all over the globe, women have had to work in the fields, in the homes and after the Industrial Revolution, in factories. As the menfolk hunted, the women worked together to weave cloths, huts, blankets, cook. Women have always worked outside the home – as seamstresses, cooks, servants. If you can afford to make it on one income – the husband’s – that’s great! But if not – and you sit on your ass at home then write a book and bitch and moan about how “poor” you are – you dam right Hoksbergen – I DIDN’T and NEVER WILL show sympathy to Joan for her “financial problems.” I know about financial problems RIGHT NOW. So what do I do? I GOT OFF MY ASS AND WORKED ON CHRISTMAS 2011 to compensate for the fact that my post-open heart surgery husband (aged 68 years) canNOT work extra time and as hard as he used to 30 years ago.
Hoksbergen claims I showed ignorance, aggression and jealousy towards Joan.
Ignorant of what? Joan’s emotional feelings of being adopted? Did Joan EVER put forth ANY attempts of trying to understand OUR emotional feelings? NO – she never did.
Jealousy? Of what? What does Joan have that I should be jealous of? Oh yes – she throws it in MY face that because I lost my son through miscarriage that I am jealous of her because she had two children. And I hated her kids. What a crock of shit and she should be ashamed of herself. I had my miscarriage in 1985, yet she says in her book that in 1989 we had outings to the beach WITH HER TWO CHILDREN. Joan contradicts herself in her book when she is trying to psycho-analyze me. And why is she psycho-analyzing me in the first place? I thought the book was about HER life as an adoptee, not MY life as a woman who’s son died. And Hoksbergen believes every f’ing word this idiot Joan feeds him.
Aggression? WHAT AGGRESSION? Oh yeah – when I slammed the phone down on Joan AFTER SHE STOLE HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS FROM ME. WHEN I CALLED THE POLICE AND TOOK HER TO COURT FOR STALKING AND HARASSING ME WHEN SHE WAS FALSELY ACCUSING ME OF COMPUTER HACKING AND CALLED MY JOB REPEATEDLY FOR MONTHS TRYING TO GET ME FIRED. Oh yes, I admit it – I was aggressive to Joan all right – WHEN I PRESSED HARASSMENT CHARGES ON HER FOR A SECOND TIME IN 1999 WHEN SHE WROTE ME A LETTER TELLING ME THAT MY INFERTILE HUSBAND GOT THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR PREGNANT!
Hoksbergen – you are as delusional as Joan because you took that lying snake’s words as truth.
Getting back to my father’s trying to compromise between us? Again, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Gert, the oldest sibling moved out of Buffalo in 1982, and actually knew NOTHING of the trouble that Joan was causing me. Kathy lived in England, and knew some of the things going on. My brother lived in Arizona, and knew NOTHING of what was going on. I NEVER TOLD MY FATHER ANYTHING. In 2004, when my father was in rehab following open heart surgery, I took my stepmother out to lunch and we were talking about Joan. THAT is when I told her of: Joan’s stealing money from me in 1990, Joan calling my job to get me fired, Joan writing me that letter about my husband getting a neighbor pregnant. My stepmother and my father KNEW NOTHING (FROM ME) ABOUT THE COURT PROCEEDINGS THAT I INSTITUTED AGAINST JOAN. When my stepmother found out – she cried. “We didn’t know this was all going on.”
WHO WAS YAKKING TO MY FATHER MAKING UP STORIES OF FIGHTING BETWEEN JOAN AND HER SIBLINGS? – JOAN – THAT’S WHO! And we were NOT fighting – it was Joan and her bullshit stalking and harrassments that I was TRYING TO GET STOPPED BY CALLING THE POLICE, THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY, THE COURTS.
It was and always has been Joan who was the trouble-maker, not just with me, but others. In my post of December 22, 2011, “some examples of Joan Wheeler’s bad behavior – why nobody wants to hang out with her” I outline what Joan did to my cousin Gail. WHILE GAIL WAS BATTLING CANCER – she had to put up with Joan’s harassments. And Gail, who was like a sister to me, knowing what Joan did to me, wanted to prove to the family that it was NOT me, but JOAN doing all the trouble. She kept me out of the mess between her and Joan and it was GAIL who called my father to tell him what Joan was doing.
So Dr. Hoksbergen – you know NOTHING of what happened/happens in my family – and you need to publicly withdraw your support of Joan, and make a public apology to us – for your contribution to the slander and libel about me, and my sisters Kathy and Gert. Gert did NOT repeatedly sexually abuse Joan. I heard all about the little thing that happened right after it happened – I heard it from both Gert and Joan – and it was ONE experiment that JOAN initiated – and what I heard from both of them, (separately) was the same thing. Joan told me that SHE initated it. Joan is no angel when it comes to these matters. In 1984, being married only one year, with an infant son at home, JOan was at Lulu’s – a roadhouse bar in Kitchener Ontario and had a party – I know about it because she called me up the next day and was crying about it that she didn’t want her husband to find out she cheated on him. And in 1991, she did it again and showed up at my house at 5am, drunk and crying that she cheated on her husband again.
IGNORANCE? Gee thanks Dr. Hoksbergen for calling me ignorant. Well, I never went to college. So I don’t have a college degree. But you, Dr. Hoksbergen, AND Joan, can take your college degrees and shove them where the sun don’t shine – because it is JOAN WHEELER and RENE HOKSBERGEN who are the ignorant ones.