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Gert McQueen’s review of Rene Hoksbergen’s review of Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler December 27, 2011

Posted by gertmcqueen in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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UPDATE…NOV 2015…

Joan M Wheeler has published a new ‘revision’ of the same old hate manifesto and renamed it ‘Duped by Adoption’. I have created a new blog and Facebook page…

Here are the links to my NEW blog and Facebook page

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

On Amazon, I have reviewed 7 reviews of this ‘new’ garbage book and created a ‘discussion’ on the Forward, by Rene Hoksbergen.

Here’s the link to the DISCUSSION about the FORWARD on Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/about-the-FORWARD-/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/Tx2ACMKSGGGG4SV/1/ref=cm_cd_dp_tp_cq?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW&cdSort=oldest#Mx16G15LCZTNM4X

Here’s the link to a recent blog post Nov 3, 2015 about the contents of the forward

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/11/03/doesnt-rene-hoksbergen-have-anything-better-to-do-in-his-retirement-than-to-continue-to-use-joan-m-wheelers-families-as-whipping-posts-in-a-new-forward/

Here are the related links to blog posts that Ruth and I have already written and addressed topics related to Rene Hoksbergen, the author of the Forward.

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2011/12/23/was-rene-hoksbergen-ever-really-a-friend-to-joan-wheeler-or-did-she-just-use-him-like-she-does-everyone/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/gert-mcqueens-review-of-rene-hoksbergens-review-of-forbidden-family-by-joan-wheeler/     this one is about the review in LAVAContact2  2010 English translation

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/26/reposting-from-gert-mcqueens-blog-was-rene-hoksbergen-ever-really-a-friend-to-joan-wheeler-or-did-she-just-use-him-like-she-does-everyone-originally-published-on-december-23-2011/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/05/16/emails-from-willem-koops-former-colleague-of-retired-professor-rene-hoksbergen-palsie-walsie-of-joan-wheeler/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/09/20/joan-wheeler-lies-about-dr-rene-hoksbergen-in-her-book-forbidden-family/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/10/14/

NOW BACK TO THIS POST…

 Gert here:
In view of the fact that recent attention has been placed on Rene Hoksbergen’s endorsement of the lying hateful book that Joan Wheeler wrote, which was pulled from publication, I thought that readers would like to see what I wrote and posted some time ago about his review. (Ruth’s note – I placed some additional material at the end of this post – please read – it is my answer to only 2 statements of Hoksbergen).
Rene Hoksbergen’s words are in normal text format.
Gert McQueen’s comments, on this review, are in bold itatic text format.
Review of Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family by Rene Hoksbergen in LAVAContact2  2010 English translation.
This autobiographical study of Joan Wheeler read with the necessary tension on the way things will go. Despite the extensive and detailed description of the many events and feelings over a period of almost fifty years.
This book is a detailed description of a tormented individual that has a great need to have the world fit her delusions. No one lives in a vacuum and by the very nature of writing about one’s own inner demons it becomes very subjective in nature and all peoples in it must fit that subjective mindset. The ‘necessary tension’ is the result of the author’s inabilities to accept life as life was given to her. The ‘extensive and detailed description’ is just over-kill and only points to a mentally unbalanced individual. Perhaps if the author actually lived a life instead of always writing ‘the book’ she and it would not be so full of torment!
It consists of two parts. The autobiography of Joan and then part two with lots of information about the American adoption history and its current situation. In this second part she makes her findings and suggestions for improvements.
Part 1, is full of sensationalized drama, with intent to sell the story, the book! The author uses, extensively, the techniques of exaggeration and hyperbole along with fabrications and outright lies. 38 chapters consisting of 569 pages are devoted to the study of the autobiography of Joan’s tormented views!
Part 2, which ought to be the more useful part of any written material intended for adoption reform, consists of only 6 chapters with a total of 62 pages! And there are no ‘suggestions’ from the author. She is a militant angry adoptee that is very hostile to anyone who adopts!
And how much does a person have to spend for this study of one person’s tormented life? Around $50.00! A person, spending a few hours on the Internet, could come up with the same source materials in this book and save themselves the money.
Joan was born in Buffalo. Her mother died shortly after her birth and her father decided to give her away to a distant relative without children. He has already four children, three daughters and one son, this fifth child can’t be taken care by him. In 1956, when this takes place, adoption in the US (and also in our country) is a taboo subject. Birth certificates are falsified, the child is sometimes very late or not informed about the adoption and many know the facts and family relationships, some don’t, as the case of Joan.
My father didn’t know about the adoptive parents being any sort of ‘distant relative’; he was in the middle of a tragedy! My father’s decisions do not have to be explained or justified. The adoptive parents also do not have to justify or explain their reasons for adopting. Throughout this book the author details, over and over again, how she had browbeaten, intimidated, condemned, and used all sorts of methods to get all parents to ‘apology’ to her for her being adopted! My god!
When she becomes 18 years old, she’s suddenly called by her eldest sister. Her three sisters were from when Joan suddenly disappeared from the family informed of the status of adoption and also of her destination. They had always wanted to know how she was doing and now she’s eighteen and formal adult, they can contact her. From this call Joan’s life has been put upside down. She describes her reactions, of the adoptive parents and how her birth family, her father and siblings deal with it.
Life, being as it is as it unfolds, is full of surprises; who would have guessed that the author would choose to condemn both families for wanting her and then go out of her way to make everyone’s life miserable with her dirty double dealings and lies! It makes me ill to read, the almost 600 pages, of pure mental garbage that the author describes herself and everyone related to her.
Against the background of all the facts around the reunion and the further development of contacts she tells clearly and gripping the progress of other aspects in her life, her school life, marriage, becomes mother of two children, the death of her adoptive father, dealing with friends, the care of her adoptive mother and only child, and many others. It is a moving description of the history of an American woman and her two families.
Gripping is not a word I’d use to describe how the author tells about aspects of her life. Soap opera dramatics is how the author details her life; every little thing is overblown so that when real troubles occur they are exaggerated to show how horrible a life she has, because she is adopted! “A moving description”, only if you are addicted to soap opera drama!
But gradually it becomes clear that the reunion in her life especially got a negative impact. There is sexual abuse of her by one of her sisters, intense feelings of jealously, aggression and ignorance towards Joan. The father tires desperately, sometimes successfully but often not, to compromise between his children. Joan herself also got a fierce nature. At the same time her adoptive mother initially responds very negative to her writings about adoption in various newspapers and increasingly in book form. Mother has a strong possessiveness towards her adopted child, Joan.
Negative impact, cause by the author herself! As I’ve stated in my letter to Doctor Hoksbergen, there was no sexual abuse from me to the author. That is purely a cover-up story to take away from a real incident that the author wanted and then retaliated, when things didn’t go her way, with a cover-up story. She makes her mistake, of letting out the truth, via her own lying; liars never remember the original lie. Page 220 contains a very important element to this lie of sexual abuse and points to the ‘cover up story’! But, you will have to read my own extensive comments on this once its posted on our web blog under the title ‘facts are stubborn things’. I suggest everyone check out and read our blog frequently to know the truth of all that the author details, for indeed, it will take a few more months for all our refuting of this book!
The ‘intense feelings of jealously, aggression and ignorance’ is not towards Joan but is what Joan feels herself and projects onto everyone else. If someone does not fit into her ‘inner world reality’ they are ‘out to get her’ and she has no limits to what she will do to get you! “Fierce nature” and “strong possessiveness” don’t begin to describe the sick relationship between adopted mother and adoptee.
 Precisely because of its negative experiences Joan has decided twenty years ago, to write down her life story. She is also an adoption activist. She vehemently rails against the practice adopted in the US. She fights against the fraudulent nature, against hypocrisy, market characteristics, the closed nature of many adoptions that still continues, even against anonymous sperm and egg donors. Many times you see her at conferences, and so I made her acquaintance, her story. In the adoption world in the USA she’s well known.
When was this review actually written? The Doctor wrote the foreword in 2006 and according to the author she began writing her book in 1970’s. So by 2006 it was already close to 40 years not 20. So why have an outdated ‘review’ published now, in 2010? Precisely because it is now about one year since the book was published. This ‘review’ is a staged occurrence, it happens in the publishing world to boost sales!
She is no activist but yes she ‘vehemently rails against adoption’ to the point of not only obsession but condemnation of anyone adopting any child for any reason. Sounds more like she ought get a job with the Inquisition! She is well known in the adoption world? Pity those people!
The book is a very informative story about how an adopted deals with secrecy, how decisions are made for her, the struggle with feelings of loyalty, the reunion and contacts with biological family of both mothers and father’s side. She describes her emotional reactions openly and honestly.
This sounds as if the author wrote it for the reviewer!
It is an exciting and very well written story about the weak position of an adopted child. English is relatively simple and remain legible.
It is not written well and moves around, in space and time, as to be almost intentional misleading the reader. It is pathetic in its subjective portrayal of a weak mentally ill person. I don’t buy into the idea that because a person is adopted they are weak! They are weak because they choose to be so!
For adoptees and adoptive parents, I would recommend this book highly.
I, having actually read the thing, would recommend you use this book in the bathroom, if you were not worry about contamination from the printed words. You would be better off reading the birth sisters web blog to get a better well-rounded view of this author.
Ruth here –
I would like to know just what Hoksbergen means when he writes this sentance: “The father tires (tries) desperately, sometimes successfully but often not, to compromise between his children.”

Again, as he did in 1993, Dr. Hoksbergen is sticking his nose into MY family’s business. CHILDREN?  excuse me, sir, we were all adults with careers. Joan was the only one who refused to grow up, take on ADULT responsibilites and get a job. Many times, throughout the years that we birth siblings and our father tried to get across to Joan to GROW UP – GET A JOB – BECOME A MEANINGFUL CONTRIBUTOR TO SOCIETY. But she always has some excuse.

As to my father trying to “compromise” between us – what the hell does this mean? Along with Hoksbergen’s statement that there were feelings of jealousy, aggression and ignorance from us towards Joan. I ask you Dr. Hoksbergen – WHO TOLD YOU THIS? JOAN? Did you EVER talk to any of us? What feelings of jealousy and ignorance have I ever showed to Joan. What is ignorant is this so-called college professor to say this about me, a stranger to him. I’m ignorant? About what? Oh yeah – Joan’s pathetic life. Dr. Hoksbergen – I was busy building my own life. I had (still do) a career. As did ALL my siblings. We were supposed to stop OUR lives and understand Joan’s petty problems? Of what? She made the choice to marry a man who kept getting fired from jobs. She made the choice to be a stay-at-home mother. She made the choice NOT to get off her ass and get a job like millions of other lower-middle class people. – who also had children to raise. Get your head out of the 1950’s television shows Joan – life is NOT like Leave it to Beaver where the wife/mother stays home  and does nothing. Throughout history and all over the globe, women have had to work in the fields, in the homes and after the Industrial Revolution, in factories. As the menfolk hunted, the women worked together to weave cloths, huts, blankets, cook.  Women have always worked outside the home – as seamstresses, cooks, servants. If you can afford to make it  on one income – the husband’s – that’s great! But if not – and you sit on your ass at home then write a book and bitch and moan about how “poor” you are – you dam right Hoksbergen – I DIDN’T and NEVER WILL show sympathy to Joan for her “financial problems.” I know about financial problems RIGHT NOW. So what do I do? I GOT OFF MY ASS AND WORKED ON CHRISTMAS 2011 to compensate for the fact that my post-open heart surgery husband (aged 68 years) canNOT work extra time and as hard as he used to 30 years ago.

Hoksbergen claims I showed ignorance, aggression and jealousy towards Joan.

Ignorant of what? Joan’s emotional feelings of being adopted? Did Joan EVER put forth ANY attempts of trying to understand OUR emotional feelings? NO – she never did.

Jealousy? Of what? What does Joan have that I should be jealous of? Oh yes – she throws it in MY face that because I lost my son through miscarriage that I am jealous of her because she had two children. And I hated her kids. What a crock of shit and she should be ashamed of herself. I had my miscarriage in 1985, yet she says in her book that in 1989 we had outings to the beach WITH HER TWO CHILDREN. Joan contradicts herself in her book when she is trying to psycho-analyze me. And why is she psycho-analyzing me in the first place? I thought the book was about HER life as an adoptee, not MY life as a woman who’s son died. And Hoksbergen believes every f’ing word this idiot Joan feeds him.

Aggression? WHAT AGGRESSION? Oh yeah – when I slammed the phone down on Joan AFTER SHE STOLE HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS FROM ME. WHEN I CALLED THE POLICE AND TOOK HER TO COURT FOR STALKING AND HARASSING ME WHEN SHE WAS FALSELY ACCUSING ME OF COMPUTER HACKING AND CALLED MY JOB REPEATEDLY FOR MONTHS TRYING TO GET ME FIRED. Oh yes, I admit it – I was aggressive to Joan all right – WHEN I PRESSED HARASSMENT CHARGES ON HER FOR A SECOND TIME IN 1999 WHEN SHE WROTE ME A LETTER TELLING ME THAT MY INFERTILE HUSBAND GOT THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR PREGNANT!

Hoksbergen – you are as delusional as Joan because you took that lying snake’s words as truth.

Getting back to my father’s trying to compromise between us? Again, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Gert, the oldest sibling moved out of Buffalo in 1982, and actually knew NOTHING of the trouble that Joan was causing me. Kathy lived in England, and knew some of the things going on. My brother lived in Arizona, and knew NOTHING of what was going on. I NEVER TOLD MY FATHER ANYTHING. In 2004, when my father was in rehab following open heart surgery, I took my stepmother out to lunch and we were talking about Joan. THAT is when I told her of: Joan’s stealing money from me in 1990, Joan calling my job to get me fired, Joan writing me that letter about my husband getting a neighbor pregnant. My stepmother and my father KNEW NOTHING (FROM ME) ABOUT THE COURT PROCEEDINGS THAT I INSTITUTED AGAINST JOAN. When my stepmother found out – she cried. “We didn’t know this was all going on.”

WHO WAS YAKKING TO MY FATHER MAKING UP STORIES OF FIGHTING BETWEEN JOAN AND HER SIBLINGS? – JOAN – THAT’S WHO! And we were NOT fighting – it was Joan and her bullshit stalking and harrassments that I was TRYING TO GET STOPPED BY CALLING THE POLICE, THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY, THE COURTS.

It was and always has been Joan who was the trouble-maker, not just with me, but others. In my post of December 22, 2011, “some examples of Joan Wheeler’s bad behavior – why nobody wants to hang out with her”   I outline what Joan did to my cousin Gail. WHILE GAIL WAS BATTLING CANCER – she had to put up with Joan’s harassments. And Gail, who was like a sister to me, knowing what Joan did to me, wanted to prove to the family that it was NOT me, but JOAN doing all the trouble. She kept me out of the mess between her and Joan and it was GAIL who called my father to tell him what Joan was doing.

So Dr. Hoksbergen – you know NOTHING of what happened/happens in my family – and you need to publicly withdraw your support of Joan, and make a public apology to us – for your contribution to the slander and libel about me, and my sisters Kathy and Gert. Gert did NOT repeatedly sexually abuse Joan. I heard all about the little thing that happened  right after it happened – I heard it from both Gert and Joan – and it was ONE experiment that JOAN initiated – and what I heard from both of them, (separately) was the same thing. Joan told me that SHE initated it. Joan is no angel when it comes to these matters. In 1984, being married only one year, with an infant son at home, JOan was at Lulu’s – a roadhouse bar in Kitchener Ontario and had a party – I know about it because she called me up the next day and was crying about it that she didn’t want her husband to find out she cheated on him. And in 1991, she did it again and showed up at my house at 5am, drunk and crying that she cheated on her husband again.

IGNORANCE? Gee thanks Dr. Hoksbergen for calling me ignorant. Well, I never went to college. So I don’t have a college degree. But you, Dr. Hoksbergen, AND Joan, can take your college degrees and shove them where the sun don’t shine – because it is JOAN WHEELER and RENE HOKSBERGEN who are the ignorant ones.

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Why is Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family dead? Because she killed it herself! June 20, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Introduction by Ruth Pace

 In this new post by Gert McQueen, we see the elaborate scam that Joan Wheeler tried to pull. A scam she presented to her friends and supporters in the adoption reform arena, publishers, fellow adoptees,  and even her own blood kin. Here we go:

Joan Wheeler has so MUCH to answer for and not just to the family but to many many other people. All I can hope for is that people WAKE UP AND SPEAK UP to Joan for the damage she has done. She has left a long long trail of destruction and untruths that it DOES take time for some to come to surface, but, in this age of Internet archives…EVERYTHING comes to the surface!

 In Joan Wheeler’s, now pulled (dead), book she ‘acknowledges’ many people, among them was a Robert Rich from Australia. He is a ‘psychologist, non-adoptee and a content editor’. I wrote him in Dec 2010 about his involvement with the book, how we, the family, see the book and therefore his work on it. I never received a reply from him…no matter I informed him about Joan using his ‘service’.

 After the book was pulled I wrote another letter to him…in part it reads:

Robert Rich; The purpose of this note is to inform you that the book, Forbidden Family, has been pulled by the publisher. It has been proven that the author did indeed lie, slandered and grossly misrepresent many people and situations. My recommendation to you would be to inform Joan Wheeler of your displeasure at being placed in a book that has been found to be slanderous and libelous. Furthermore, I suggest that you seek damages from the author for putting you in this awkward position. (Ruth’s note,  the page that Mr. Rich had out on the internet promoting Joan’s book, was visible a couple of months ago, today, I checked, the page is GONE! – wonder why?)

 Furthermore, there are many people she has named, that ‘support’ her and web sites she has given where she has gone out on and slandered the family, that I may not be able to make any contact with, but, that is NOT going to stop me for showing the world just what kind of double-crosser she is…so hang on to your hats because WE are not done, not by a long shot. Over time I shall be contacting as many people and web sites, named in the book of lies, as I possibly can…to spread the word that Joan Wheeler is a liar, a slanderer and her book is no longer available.

 Some time ago I came across the following… found it to be very very interesting…such a con-artist that Joan is…attempting to tell others how to write a book!!! See my comments at the end…

 The All-White World of Children’s Publishing « sarahpark.com

Aug 14, 2009 My name is Joan M Wheeler, author of : Forbidden Family: A Half-Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism,
readingspark.wordpress.com/…/the-all-white-world-of-childrens-publishing/

 This is what Joan posted to a question about where to publish…

October 6, 2009 at 3:29 pm

halforphan56  

Hi!
A good place to try is Trafford Publishings at:
http://www.trafford.com/
Yes, it is a pay-your-own package and pay for extras, but he advantage is that this publisher is willing to publish well-written controversy. They won’t publish the usual problem-causers such aas porn or hate books, but they are interested in a book that can hold an audiance.
They are working with me as I complete the final stages of my book’s 3rd proof. This has been a very exciting 5 years! I contacted song publishers and purchased copyrights, and for each problem area I brought to Trafford’s attention, they were accepting. Controversy, no problem! Memoir, expose, history, aslong as you are truthful and aren’t out to hurt anyone, Trafford willmore than likely accept your contract. Yes, you have to pay for the publsihing contract and it is expensive, but mainstream publishers are not as willing to publish activist material.
If you do write to Trafford, please tell them that I sent you over! My name is Joan M Wheeler, author of : Forbidden Family: A Half-Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism, due to be published in the next two months!
Good Luck! Let’s get out there and send them some decent manuscripts that tell adoption stories as you would like our stories to be told! Peace, Joan Wheeler***

Now…I, Gert, did post this comment on the site, if it gets on it gets on…at least it is here on THIS blog: 

regarding Joan Wheeler, and her screen names of halforphan56 and 1adoptee and the book Forbidden Family:

 It needs to be pointed out that the book Forbidden Family, written by Joan Wheeler, published by Trafford Publications has been pulled from their selling markets. The book is unavailable and no further copies of it in it’s present form will be printed. The book was pulled by the publisher after several months of investigating the documented proof sent to them by the birth family.

The pulling of the book proves that what the birth sisters have been saying, that the book is full of lies and hate, is correct. For further details see:  ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/

 ***

 Now, my comments about Joan’s posting …Joan NEVER paid for those extras…she paid for a ‘print ready’ package and no one in that publishing house ever saw the ENTIRE manuscript before they printed it. She is basically bullshitting as she speaks. She got various people to ‘content edit’ certain subject materials such as with Robert Rich named above. She told the editing staff, of Trafford, that she had the manuscript edited and she DID NOT pay for that service and therefore they NEVER saw the complete manuscript when they printed it.

 She continues here saying, ‘They won’t publish the usual problem-causers such as porn or hate books’.

 What does Joan think was IN HER BOOK? talk about porn and a hate book! I gave, as part of my evidence to Trafford, a total of about 8 pages that contained porn language…that in itself was CAUSE for the termination of the contract that Joan signed! And as far as hate goes…if the editing staff of Trafford EVER SAW the pages, before the formatting stages, they would have seen all the hate speech within the narrative of Joan’s ‘story’. But, they never saw the content…all Trafford did was to format the manuscript, make the pages and print the book. (Ruth’s note: I also submitted several pages of proof of Joan’s LIES [engineered to slander and libel me]. It was these proofs that Gert and I sent to Trafford in December 2010 that caused them to have their lawyers look over the book, and they determined that the porn, hate, and LIES violated the Terms of Conditions contract that Joan herself signed. Yes, she signed a contract that stated the book did NOT contain porn, hate language or lies. And it was proven that porn, hate language and lies WERE in the book. Therefore, Trafford pulled the book. She can whine all she wants now, and puff up and say she’s getting a lawyer – but any lawyer is going to tell her – “you blew it kid.” – oh and Gert and I will be putting out on this blog those several pages of proof – because we are honest. We give our blog readers full disclosure of what we write and to whom. We deal in truth. – Not only do we deal in the truth – we deal in the truth to EVERYBODY! – Unlike Joan, who tells one person one thing, another person another thing, and another person a third story. Joan thought she was being slick – she told Trafford one story, Mr. Rich another story, Prof. Rene Hoksbergen another story, she showed one version of her manuscript to our father, while submitting another version to Trafford for publication. The version of her manuscript that she showed Rene Hoksbergen was NOT the same version that was printed. Mr. Rich edited only a section of her manuscript, but she told Trafford that the entire manuscript was edited. – How do I know this? Because I recognized a non-existent event in her book. She relates in the book a tale of a three-month court battle between her and me in the year 1994 over a false child report that didnt’ take place until December 1994.  In the book, she relates how the court broke for lunch, and she and her two children were at a water fountain. I supposedly approached her children and said “do you see what your mother is doing to your poor Auntie?”

The “three months” court battle took place in 1995 when I took HER to court for harassment. There were three court dates – one, where Joan was summoned into court to answer my charges, and the judge scheduled the actual hearing date, the second time, it was adjourned to a third hearing date, where the judge dismissed everything. On the second date, the judge had made a general announcement to the room that no children were to be present. On the third date, Joan did bring her children – but they were outside with a babysitter, although it was a school day. In a letter I sent her, where I was telling her to leave me alone, I asked why did she bring her children – to parade them in front of the court – to show them how Ruth was dragging their mother to court? But we see in the book how she says the three court dates (three DAYS of court) gets exagerrated to THREE MONTHS OF COURT BATTLES! And she tells her children one thing, me another thing, and her book readers another thing! I have previously scanned the actual court documents pertaining this case on this blog. Joan is such a CON-ARTIST – you simply cannot trust her!

 Back to Gert and the original thrust of this post — How do I know (about book publishing)…well…I am a published author, I was an editor of a full-scale international magazine for seven years, I did writing, research, formatting, editing and real self-publishing of my own and others work…so I know what I am talking about.

 She (Joan) continues saying ‘complete the final stages of my book’s 3rd proof’…

 Knowing Joan’s propensity’s for exaggeration I would really wonder about 3 times…but again, she did write an additional chapter and added much to a manuscript just months before the book was published! So, if Trafford looked at it 3 times they really didn’t do a good job of it OR Joan didn’t GIVE THEM all that she wrote, until the end. I still maintain that she added MUCH after the basic drafts were looked over and completed, because she is devious and that’s why there is SO MUCH hate and libelous material in the book.

 And she says,  ‘as long as you are truthful and aren’t out to hurt anyone’

 What a laugh…sorry I’m not laughing…she wrote a truthful book and wasn’t out to hurt anyone?!! The entire book was to hurt everyone she believed hurt her. The entire book was to expose and exploit people.

 Let this be a lesson to those of you who believe that you have a RIGHT to tell her story…don’t write and publish ANYTHING that is untrue, because sooner or later, someone is going to get you…and we GOT YA…Joan!

 We have given, on this blog, direct quotes of Trafford’s own guidelines, all of which Joan violated. She signed a contract, she violated the contract and we the birth family gave the evidence to Trafford that they needed to pull the book from their selling markets. This book will not longer be available.

 Now, lets take a look at what Joan Wheeler has on her web site Forbidden Family…which she needs to change the title of because the book is defunked and by keeping the site as is and where it is she is continuing on with her hatred toward the birth family and others. She needs to make the site only for her adoption reform and not to slander the birth family…anyway…

 On the Q and A: Where to Buy my book…posted Mar 16, 2010 in part she says:

(Ruth’s note: misspellings are due to the great and wonderful published author JOAN WHEELER! We only copied and pasted what SHE wrote.)

 As an author, I am completely in the dark about how this book is being sold and purchased by worldwide book sellers. (Ruth’s note, June 20, 2011 – why is she “completely in the dark?” Why didn’t she find out? What an ass! She just told her readers she’s ignorant! I’m not a published author, and I figured it out! A vendor, no matter where they are located, will recieve an order, notify the publisher they need x amount of copies, when they receive such, they will fulfill the order. DUH!)

 I chose Trafford because they were the best Publish-On-Demand publishers available. There are pluses and minueses to any publishing contract.  I like that the book is available through Trafford Publishing worldwide. It will be available for sale online at thier bookstore for as long as I choose to keep it available, and as long as Trafford is a publisher. This means it will never go out of print.

 Currently I am doing, all media exposure and bookings for lectures and book signings, on my own as I can not afford to pay for these services at the pay-per-services fees through Trafford.

 I had to sent a signed book to Idaho and to The Hague, at two very different and expensive shipping costs.

 All this tells me that Joan put all her eggs in one basket thinking she could pull off a great con scam on the families but not telling anyone what she was up to and by not being fully honest with Trafford and guess what …. she lost!

On June 20, 2011 I googled the book at Trafford and it is NO LONGER listed on Google…now what does that tell you? The book is DEAD. 

Ruth’s additional comment:

Joan says: “I had to sent a signed book to Idaho and to The Hague, at two very different and expensive shipping costs.”

On amazon.com, there is a listing for two used books for over $180.00 – could it be those two “autographed” copies? Other “used” copies are going for around $30 – $40. And why are there USED copies out there anyway? Seems to me that some people, having spent $45.00 of their hard earned cash, got the book, read it and saw the garbage in it and sent it back to amazon to get a refund. $45.00 is a lot of money to pay for a crap book.

Joan, face it – if your book was so damn good, there wouldn’t be any USED copies, and your book would have been flying off the presses! You can sit and whine and say that it is because of OUR blog people didn’t buy it. That may be partly true – HOWEVER, how do you account for the many USED copies available?  Apparently people don’t want that garbage in their house. The book that I purchased isn’t even in my house – it’s at a friend’s house. I don’t want that shit in my house! And apparently, other people don’t either!

and what does she mean ” two very different and expensive shipping costs.” – ok, the Hague – is overseas in The Netherlands, but Idaho? How much does it cost to ship a book to Idaho? About 10 bucks? again, we see how Joan EXAGGERATES things. She is just incapable of telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth! Anything she says is always colored with her interpretation of it, her exagerration of it, her embellishing of it. This is why in previous blog posts I have said that she has diarrhea of the mouth – she can’t shut up, she can’t stop putting her own spin on things. And then she wonders why nobody likes her, wants anything to do with her, turns their backs on her, shoves her out of their lives. Her own customers don’t even want the book they bought!)

THE BOOK FORBIDDEN FAMILY BY JOAN M. WHEELER HAS BEEN PULLED FROM PUBLICATION BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN PROVEN TO THE PUBLISHER THAT JOAN LIED IN THE BOOK! May 9, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters, Uncategorized.
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Readers of this blog and Joan’s website may be interested to know that:

THE BOOK FORBIDDEN FAMILY HAS BEEN PULLED FROM PUBLICATION BECAUSE OF THE MANY LIES TOLD IN IT.

Joan says on her website today, “thank you for the phenomenal publicity that we have given her.”

Roflmao! Another delusion from a person who needs to have psych medications!

Joan M. Wheeler has egg on her face – she has been EXPOSED as a LIAR and a CON-ARTIST!

The “phenomenal publicity” contained in this blog “Refuting the Book Forbidden Family” has always been to chronicle and PROVE with actual documents that Joan is a LIAR. Only an IMBECILE thanks the people who have brought attention to the fact that they are a LIAR!

There cannot be many actual copies of this book – She had to SELF-PUBLISH it, with the lowest package that the company offered – $800.00 – do the math people – the selling price of the book is $45.00 – it is offered on Amazon.com which gets about 40% of the monies. Trafford gets it’s cut – they have to make a profit – so figuring at least 75% going to Amazon and Trafford – that leaves $200.00  from her initial investment! Divide that up – I get about 4 and a half copies! We can account for 5 copies right off the bat. And having spoken on the phone with a representative from Trafford, we got this statement: “It is hardly a best-seller.” Roflmao! So who is Joan trying to fool? – Don’t be fooled by this con-artist – she’s a liar, she’s been exposed – she is dead in the water.

She may try to come up with a “new and improved” book, but rest assured, The Three Sippel Sisters will be right there to make dam sure she tells the truth.

So here is the email I sent to the publisher Trafford/Author Solutions over the weekend, and their response? THEY PULLED THE BOOK!

Now stop and ask yourself the question WHY? Why would the company pull the book just because I, Ruth, emailed them – BECAUSE THEY SEE THE PROOF THAT YOU DELUDED PEOPLE AND JOAN WON’T ADMIT TO: THAT JOAN M. WHEELER IS A LIAR! – Of course those people who see right through Joan’s lies are not delusional and know just what kind of nonsense, word-twisting, fact-twisting propaganda Joan is capable of. For Joan to try to justify her lies by saying she purposely mixed up dates and events to protect identities is BULLSHIT!

To lie about the length of an order of protection is protecting NO ONE! To stretch the actual time of six-months to one year does nothing to protect ANY one’s identity. To LIE about a non-event (a 3 month court battle and further LIE that “Brenda” accosted her children outside a court room was done to put her birth sister in a bad light and garner sympathy for herself UNDER FALSE PRETENSES). Don’t be fooled by her propaganda! She has said over and over that everything in her book was the TRUTH. Now, by saying she “mixed up dates and events” she is ADMITTING THAT SHE DID NOT PRESENT THE TRUTH. Like a true snake with a forked tongue, she is trying to cover her ass. DON’T BUY IT! Her own daughter says  “my mother is crafty at twisting words.”

I have said MANY times on this blog that Joan continuously mixes up dates and events and presents them in an untruthful manner. I have challenged her MANY times to come clean. I have said again and again that even when confronted by actual documents and her own handwritten letters to explain the discreencies, all she does is say she is telling the truth. For a year and a half this blog has been saying this over and over. For a year and a half she kept saying that – why all of a sudden is she changing her story? Because on Friday, May 6, she was told to do revisions of her book – and by posting her “thank you” on her website on Friday, she is COVERING HER LYING ASS! But after receiving an email from me on Monday morning (May 9,) the decision was made BY THE PUBLISHER that instead of a revision, the book Forbidden Family will be pulled in its entirety.

Her rationale of  lying was “Protecting identitys?” BALONEY! If she wrote ONLY the truth – the identity would still be protected – but what readers don’t know – is that in back in the early 1990’s she published a short article called “The Secret is Out” and used OUR TRUE NAMES! Anybody in the adoption reform field who read that article, then read the book Forbidden Family would already KNOW our names – because Joan had already published our names 20 years ago. So who is Joan kidding when she says that WE identified ourselves on this blog first – now SHE did. She did NOT protect our identities. Joan used her real name in the book. Sh used her real birth name Sippel and put MY family’s photo on the back – and it takes no genius in the City of Buffalo to recognize my father, a well-known employee at Buffalo City Hall, and many people knew about his giving his daughter for adoption – to put 2 and 2 together and identify me and others in the book.

She also puts in her book, my mother’s true name – and since MY name is in her obituary – published in 1956 – MY identity is right there. And smearing somebody’s reputation, whether you use their true name, or not is just simply the same thing – a smear campaign. Joan, you cannot weasel your way out of it – you are a LIAR! Plain and simple as that! LIAR!

Here then is my letter to the publisher:

May 6, 2011 –

Eugene Hopkins

Trafford, Author Solutions

Dear Mr. Hopkins,

I am the younger sister of Gert McQueen, with whom you have been in discussions with for the past few months over the book that your company published, “Forbidden Family” by Joan M. Wheeler.

I know that you had received our complaint about this book back on January 21, 2011. I also emailed you my co-complaint on this book. Included in my email, I attached several scanned official court documents pertaining to court cases between Ms. Wheeler and myself.

It is my understanding that recently you remarked to Gert that you were reluctant to get involved in a “family squabble.” Mr. Hopkins, Ms. Wheeler ceased to be a legal family member to us when she was adopted out of our family in 1957. Although we were reunited in 1974, I cut ties with her in 1990 after she stole hundreds of dollars from me. She further alienated herself to me in 1993 when she filed a false police report against me, over phone calls that I placed to her house, (in response to a letter she sent me). I called her house, and she said to me “hold on,” and hung up on me.  She then reported to the police that I was placing threatening calls to her. I was summoned into court and Ms. Wheeler was granted a six-month order of protection against me.

In her book, that your company published, she records this incident, but claims that I was placed under arrest (I was not.), that she was granted a one-year order of protection against me (it was for six-months), that I was placed on probation (I was not), and that I have a criminal record (I do not). 

I covered this and more in my emailed complaint to you and provided the actual court documents that prove that Ms. Wheeler lied, committing the crime of LIBEL in her book, that your company published.

In another part of her book, Ms. Wheeler describes a three month court battle between me and her in the year of 1994. This is completely false.

Also, on the back cover of the book, which your company published, is a family photograph that is of my parents, my siblings, and myself. Ms. Wheeler herself is NOT in the photograph at all – and the picture was taken BEFORE Ms. Wheeler was not even born, therefore, she wasn’t even a member of the family pictured on the back of her book. I have never given Ms. Wheeler permission, orally, or in writing, permission to use my photograph on her book. Also, since the photograph was taken sometime mid-1955, and Ms. Wheeler was born on January 7, 1956, and then 4 months later adopted out of the family, she does not OWN this photograph. She may “own” a paper copy of this photo, but since she was NOT a legal member of the family depicted in the photo, she does NOT have the legal right to publish it and gain monetary gain from it.

Whether you think of me and Ms. Wheeler as “family members” or not has no bearing on the basis of our complaint – that is being that Ms. Wheeler (and your company) has/have published my picture without my legal consent. In lying about a three month court case between us in 1994, and lying about the length of time the order of protection granted to her in 1993, Ms. Wheeler is presenting falsehoods about the City Court of the City of Buffalo. When Ms. Wheeler presents in her book that I was placed under arrest, she is presenting falsehoods about the Buffalo Police Department.

Further, may I ask you Mr. Hopkins, should a person be subjected to such slander and libel with no recourse, simply because they are related to the perpetrator? The issue of Ms. Wheeler being related to me and Gert is a NON-issue. Ms. Wheeler lied in her book. That is all that should concern you.

Gert tells me that several times in her conversations with you, you have told her that our complaint is in your legal department, and you have yet to hear back from your lawyers.

On your website is the Terms and Conditions for authors to agree to when submitting their work for publication. I cite the following items that Ms. Wheeler is in violation of YOUR own Terms and Conditions.

2. YOUR LEGAL RESPONSIBILITY

2.1. You represent that (i) you are the sole copyright owner of the Work and all of its content.

   Ms. Wheeler is in violation of this because she has MY likeness on the back of her book, WITHOUT my consent.

2.4. You further represent that the Work does not contain illegal, unlawful or objectionable material including, but not limited to, pornography, obscenity or hate speech. You acknowledge that the Work is not plagiarized and does not include

falsely attributed statements of third parties.

.    Ms. Wheeler is in violation of the second sentence, because as I pointed out above, she has lied about actual court proceedings between her and me.

I further cite YOUR Terms and Conditions as presented to authors on your website:

7. TERMINATION OF AGREEMENT

7.1. Suspension of Services. Upon a breach, default, or failure by you to comply with these Terms and Conditions or the failure to cooperate with us in the provision of any Services, we will have the right to suspend any or all performance until you cooperate with these Terms and Conditions and/or cooperate with us in the provision of Services.

Since I have just pointed out that Ms. Wheeler IS in violation of 2.1 and 2.4 of YOUR Terms and Conditions as presented on your website, Mr. Hopkins, you have NO choice, but to pull the book Forbidden Family off the market, your website, and your advertisement of it on Amazon.com. I don’t understand why your lawyers cannot come up with a timely interpretation of your own terms and conditions, the definition of the term libel, and the application of the term libel to Ms. Wheeler’s statements of me in her book that you published.

On page 670 of the Tenth Edition (1994) of the Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary are the following definitions of the term LIBEL:

–          A written or oral defamatory statement or representation that conveys an unjustly unfavorable impression.

–          A statement or representation published without just cause and tending to expose another to public contempt.

–          Defamation of a person by written or representable means

–          The act, tort, or crime of publishing such a libel

I believe that all four definitions cover what Ms. Wheeler has done in her book. By falsely reporting in her book that I have an arrest record, she is conveying a unjustly unfavorable impression.

You have stated to Mrs. McQueen that you do not want to be in the middle of a “family squabble.” This is no “family squabble.” It is accurate accusation of libel and a justifiable demand for the pulling of this book.

I expect to be hearing shortly on your decision to do a right and lawful action: the pulling of this libelous book.

Thank you for your help in this matter.

Very sincerely yours,

Mrs. Ruth Pace

cc: Kevin Weiss; Kevin A. Gray; Gert McQueen

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