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Doris Michol Sippel fka Joan Mary Wheeler was recently in a depressed state for some time (as per own admission) and WHAM! came out of it into a full-blown manic episode and foaming at the mouth over her anti-adoption and her hatred of her birth sisters. May 7, 2017

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Joan/Doris came across a website by a couple looking to adopt and made a blog post bitching about them on April 30, 2017. I was alerted to her new blogpost via my email because I subscribe to her blog. Not that I’m really interested in what that nutball has to say, but I ‘monitor’ what she writes. I have said in the past that I keep an eye on her online activities to be alerted to when she says shit about me. She calls my ‘monitoring’ her as CYBERSTALKING AND CYBERBULLYING. No, I call it monitoring to see what she says about ME. Keep your mouth shut about me Joan/Doris and then you won’t have pissed me off again. DUH!

So, yeah, I ‘subscribe’ to her blog and when I get an email notification of a new blog post by her – I go check it out. And yep, she did it again! — For a couple of years now, she has actually been posting her anti-adoption stuff (yawn) WITHOUT mentioning her birth sisters – ALL OF SUDDEN, SHE DRAGS US INTO HER SHIT AGAIN. And being spectacularly STUPID in her jab against us. Here’s the quote from her post: “I have had absolutely no contact for nearly 40 years with the sisters who found me. I want it that way. Not because I am against reunion, but because they are cruel, insanely vicious people. “

Let’s see, this is the year 2017 – minus 40 years – that takes us back to 1977. Um, Joan, asshole, did you forget I was one of your fucking bridesmaids when you got married in 1983? WHO drove you and your newborn daughter home from the hospital in 1986? And in your idiotic book you did mention that you and I used to be close, going to the beach together with your kids in 1989. Were you having a Donny Trump incoherent moment there? Listen, sweetie, if you want to be taken seriously, you need to get your math and facts correct – And I am NOT going to deal with “alternative facts” concerning MY life. Don’t forget, you filled your book with ‘alternative facts’ but – my sending the actual police and court documents to Trafford Publications is what counted – the real facts, baby, the real truth of what happened, and because you tried to pull a fast one, lying to Trafford that everything in your book was ‘factual and true,’ MY truthful documents got your book pulled from publication.

Also on facebook, when Joan/Doris shared her blog post to the facebook group “Adoption Sucks” she calls us “evil” – so, I am an evil cruel, insanely vicious person? Really Joan? really? Hows that again where in 2012 you called my job with lies to get me fired? And then you were on twitter dragging me into something I didn’t know anything about and accusing me of doing something, while I was sleeping. — I had no idea what she was talking about until I called a cousin to find out that another cousin’s husband had died, and I was NOT to arrange an adoption of her little girl. -????? newsflash – I’ve never been in the adoption industry.

Well, let’s talk about EVIL here.

 EVIL – calling your sister’s workplace with lies to get her fired. — that’s what Joan/Doris did to me in 1994-95 and 2012.

 EVIL is writing a letter to your sister telling her that her husband got the next door neighbor pregnant – and the house was vacant – that’s what Joan/Doris did to me in 1997.

 EVIL is scamming your sister out of $700.00 – that’s what Joan/Doris did to me in 1989.

Get your ‘evil sister’ straight Joan/Doris.

Let’s talk about LIES Joan/Doris –

Joan/Doris also said on the “Adoption Suck’s fb page that she figured out how to stop us from commenting on her blog. – um, nope, we never commented on her stupid blog. And she said she can’t stop me from liking her latest blog post – um, no, I never “liked’ her latest blog post. — here’s what she said: “Just a reminder, folks: please, let’s have more comments on this over at my blog! I finally figured out how to block my evil sisters from commenting. But I could not blocked them individually from the “Like” Button, so that is why I didn’t activate one. So please, head on over and fill up the comments! Thanks!”

Joan/Doris apparently was also ‘sanctioned’ by facebook because — she was willfully engaged in calling for CYBERSTALKING the website, the private email, and the public facebook page of the couple who were looking to adopt.

May 2 at 11:37pm — Doris Michol Sippel Hmm… I was punished by Facebook and blocked from posting for several days. WHY? Because I posted the contact info for J. HUH? THEY posted it on their blog and Facebook page! Well, I have it on file! Still gonna educated these morons!

UH, Joni/Doris, — maybe you should stop cyberbullying people. Oh? What’s that you said about me CYBERSTALKING AND CYBERBULLYING you when I freely admit to ‘monitoriing’ what you say about me? — Yes, another example of Joan/Doris doing exactly to people what she bitches about people ‘doing’ to her. What a fucking moronic hypocrite.

Now, let’s talk about Joan/Doris deigning to EDUCATE people. — “Still gonna educated these morons!” — she was foaming at the mouth at the couple who want to adopt because they said the wrong word. By the way, the past tense indicated by the d at the end of ‘educate’ was by Joan/Doris herself – the great, the all-knowing, the wonderful heroine of all adoptees. (yeah right). (Joan, dear, if you want to ‘educate’ people, be sure you are using correct grammar and spelling.)

Last time she ‘educated’ someone in ‘proper adoption terminology’ was in November 2017, at her very own first (and probably her last) book signing! She attended a group book signing for local authors sponsored by a local museum and she struck up a conversation with the author to her right, and then when the woman used ‘improper adoption terminology’ – Joan began yelling and screaming at her. No, I wasn’t there to witness it. How do I know what happened? JOAN/DORIS HERSELF POSTED ABOUT IT ON FACEBOOK!!! — Yes, JOAN/DORIS WAS ACTUALLY PROUD OF HERSELF FOR ACTING LIKE A BITCH! I doubt very much that she will have any book signings in the future.

Well Joan/Doris — I will use the adoption terminology that I always have and what YOU yourself always have — we are BIRTH-sisters. NOT sisters at all. YOU gave up the right to call yourself my sister when you finagled that money out of me, reneged on your promise to repay me, and started on your hate-filled harassments of me. Want a refresher Joan – read about your fucking EVIL AND VICIOUSLY CRUEL THINGS YOU DID TO ME – right here on this page of this blog: What is Demanded from Joan Wheeler (click here to be directed to new page–— who’s the EVIL one Joan? YOU ARE.

And as for ‘educating’ people, why don’t you educate your fellow angry adoptees on — infertility, that YOU boasted to me on the phone in 1987, saying “I know more about infertility than you think I do.” — no, bitch, you know nothing. And talk about evil and cruely vicious – THREE FUCKING TIMES I TOLD YOU DURING THAT PHONE CONVERSATION THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY MISCARRIAGE AND YOU KEPT YOUR FUCKING EVIL CRUEL MOUTH GOING UNTIL I SLAMMED THE PHONE DOWN.

You had given birth to two beautiful children by then, you knew that I had been trying to get pregnant for years, you were at the hospital while I was in surgery to repair the damage from my ectopic pregnancy. But YOU ‘knew’ more about infertility than me? I don’t think so bitch.

Here – why don’t you go educate your fellow angry adoptee who left this evil, cruel and vicious comment to the couple you attacked on April 30,. 2017. “my advice is to just keep fking , one of the little buggers will do the job eventually!”

Joan/Doris, you claim to be an expert in genetics, baby-making, sperm and egg stuff, sperm donors, etc., and with your extensive list of ex-boyfriends, you have the knowledge to educate that particular moron. Not only in how a sperm and an egg might meet or might not meet but in your extensive knowledge in men. You must know more positions that are in the kama-sutra!

aw, was that last paragraph evil and viciously cruel of me? TOO BAD. You asked for it bitch – next time, don’t drag me into your anti-adoption stuff.

But let us continue talking about evil and cruelly vicious people- Remember that time you were part of that discussion group Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change and you ‘angry adoptees’ were pissed at actress Edie Falco being an adoptive mom? And one bitch in that group said “Would someone stuff a sock in her (Edie Falco’s) mouth, soak it in gasoline and set it on fire?”

You, Joan/Doris and all your ‘angry adoptees’ buddies are all a bunch of sick assholes.


gertmcqueen – May 8, 2017 

excellent post! The reason that Joan/Doris was PUNISHED by Facebook was NOT because she published someone’s phone or personal info (which was posted via them on their page) but BECAUSE J/D WILLFULLY cyber-stalked, harassed and called for OTHERS to do the same and then contact FB that the page was spam! J/D did the same thing to that author in Buffalo last Dec. Ruth and my comments are still on the FB page AGAINST J/D’s actions.


She thinks nothing of destroying other people if they DON’T do as she says! She has done this ALL her life! If anyone really WANTS to know about her just read Ruth and my blogs and the back and forth comments on Amazon for her 3 lying books and the forums on Amazon. Sure that would be a LOT of work, but with OUT THE KNOWLEDGE of J/D’s CHARACTER and her past DEEDS AND WORDS, no one can counter her. In other words…if you are HER VICTIM you must take actions against her. How? Spread the words about her to your friends and your agencies, PRIVATELY. Here’s what you NEED.

The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism’ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/ this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor


 this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

Also see this Facebook page…which is a STUDY of the books.


 In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

 Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum


 Joan Mary Wheeler forum


 review of first book and 4 comments




Joan Wheeler behaves just like the ranting lunatic in the “racist rant” video June 7, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, mental illness.
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I don’t know how many of my readers are aware of the youtube video of a woman going off on a racist rant in Cheektowaga, New York. Cheektowaga is a suburb of Buffalo, NY, and the incident took place at the Airport Plaza, about 3 miles from my home. I don’t know the woman and I’m glad I don’t. I don’t know the man she was screaming at either.

 The incident occurred on Friday, May 30, 2014. The man started his van, startling the woman’s son. The woman started yelling at the man that he scared her son. She then proceeded to call him a “n” – yes – the N word that shows clearly she is a racist. The man picked up his cell phone and began filming her – and she kept insulting him, turning her back on him while she got on her cell phone to call someone. All the while she kept calling the man “N” and then says she doesn’t like black people and her children don’t either. Then she gets her children to swear at him. The children are very young, and while their mother is busy with her racist rant, begin to show signs of shock, confusion, and being frightened.

 The man in the van calmly tells the woman “great, now you have your children swearing at me.” and continues to video the woman. The woman, is talking to someone on her cell phone but telling the black guy it’s the police, the children’s father, her husband, and her lawyer – she can’t seem to make up her mind who she is talking to.

 She’s also taking in non-sequitor (nonsensical) statements. Nowhere does the black man say he knows the police, but she starts yelling/talking to whoever on her cell phone “Oh HE knows the cops. How many cops have I stripped for?”

 She’s worked herself up into a rage and threatens to throw hot coffee on the man, who then rolls up the window of his van, but then lowers it. Meanwhile, she’s still ranting and raving.

 In the story published in The Buffalo News, published on June 5, 2014, the man says he was shocked by how her anger escalated.

 The man did post the video to youtube, and the woman called a talk radio and identified herself and said she was bi-polar. Because she identified herself, some people tracked down her address and put it on the internet. Rocks were being thrown at her house, her children threatened. AND Child Protective Services took her children away earlier this week. I don’t know the reasons why – probably because in the video she is neglecting them, telling them to call a strange man names and basically put them in danger because of her stupid behavior.

 Now we can get into the discussion of race, and the responsibilites and consequences of a parents actions another time. And I’ve been debating this on the facebook page of WGRZ-TV, a local news station that did a story on this earlier this week. And on the youtube channel that put out this video.

 What I want to discuss here – is how this woman’s behavior mirrors that of a person that I know very well – the person of whom this blog is about – Joan Wheeler.

 But first – let’s take a look at this now famous video – it went viral, and by this evening (Friday, June 6, 2014) and had 7 million views.



So, have you watched it? I hope you did, because otherwise you won’t understand what I am going to say.

 Notice in the beginning of the video, not the beginning of the incident, because the young man didn’t do anything wrong, only started his car, and has this white woman begin calling him racist names, and then starts the video. Because of what happened to Trayvon Martin in Florida, and a couple of recent police brutality cases in Buffalo, one involving a young black man, I’m sure this man’s instinct was to get documentation of what was happening.

 The woman is merely being a dumbass making a racist comment. Soon she works herself up into a rage and is fairly frothing at the mouth when she walks up to the man’s van and gets into his face and insults him again.

 The man is not getting out of his car, not getting into a screaming match with her, but trying calmly to get his point across – that racism is alive and well in Cheektowaga – and every time he says something – she tries to shut him down.


 The conversation starts out fairly civilized, but once Joan sees that you disagree with her, or are not obeying her – she begins to get agitated. Begins the swearing and screaming. You stand there, not believing what has just happened. She’s now frothing at the mouth and screaming so hard you can’t get a word in edgewise. If you are on the phone with her – the rant ends by Joan slamming the phone on you – leaving you shaking in anger and shock.

 As to the non-sequitar statement made on the video about the man knowing cops and she strips for cops – Joan also does this. Out of the clear blue sky, Joan will say something and you don’t know what the hell she is talking about.

 The woman in the video called a radio talk show and said she is bi-polar. Well so is Joan. And? So we are supposed to take this kind of verbal abuse because THEY are bi-polar?

 On November 3, 2009, I called Joan on the phone to tell her that our Aunt Doris had died. I didn’t know Joan’s phone number, so I called my father. Knowing that a few months prior to this, he had kicked Joan out of his house and life, I didn’t know if he still had her phone number. So I called him up and asked him. He sounded tired and I said that I would call Joan and tell her about Aunt Doris. He gave me the number and I called her.

Me: “Joan, this is Ruth.”

Joan: “how did you get this number?”

Me: “from Dad.”

Joan: “NOT a good idea.”

Me: “Whatever. Anyway, I’m calling to tell you that Aunt Doris died the other day and I thought you should know.”

(now up to this point, both me and Joan are talking calmly, although she was a bit snippy when she said that it was NOT a good idea that Dad had given me the number). We continue with the conversation —

Joan: “Thank you for that, (calmly), — BUT YOU HAVE NO FUCKING %$$#&**(^^%% (now she’s yelling and I can’t even make out what she’s saying) AND FUCK YOU AND #$%$%^&&^%%$#@!!!!!!”

What did the Buffalo News say about the young man making the video? That he was shocked by how the woman’s anger escalated? Well, that was I how I felt when I was being subjected to this barrage of verbal abuse! I still had my email from our Uncle Rich telling me that Aunt Doris (not his wife, but his late brother’s ex-wife) had passed. I remember staring at Doris’ name (Joan’s birth name was Doris, named for Aunt Doris, and that’s why I thought, no, KNEW that it was important that Joan be told of her passing. Silly me, I didn’t think that I would get this kind of thanks). I kept staring at my computer screen and hearing Joan going off on a rampage. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO WRONG??? I actually burst into tears, but Joan did not hear me crying, because she was too busy yelling unintelligible insults at me. I finally did hear and understand something about “AND YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY SISTER…!!!”

It was at this point I yelled back at her – “BITCH – YOU DON’T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD SISTER!” and hung up on her.

 What Joan Wheeler did to me on that day was bully me by subjecting me to verbal abuse. And I will not tolerate it. I don’t care what your problem is – bi-polar, whatever – YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO ABUSE OTHER PEOPLE THEN USE YOUR ILLNESS AS AN EXCUSE!

 Get your ass on meds and get the hell away from me and other people who are simply going about their lives.

scares me too

1. gertmcqueenJune 7, 2014

Gert here…
excellent! When I saw that video I said to self, ‘just like Joan’! She does it in person, on the phone, on paper, on the internet! In recently years she’s been scanning news items on yahoo and ranting and raving, she goes by the name ADOPTEEFEDUP and she lets everyone know how fed up she is. She gets angry to any comment CONTRARY to her own belief! If another counters her, she insults them, over and over again. When another says she’s bitter, she counters she is NOT bitter, she has 40 years experience, she knows what she’s talking about, she, she, she…

Joan recently put up a NEW photo of herself…she has all the signs of old age and dis-ease! She’s not long for this world if she doesn’t STOP her anger and hate and behavior.


UPDATE, MARCH 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…



No, Joan Wheeler, you can’t have anything in life that you want. You can’t have my life. May 16, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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 no you can't

I disagree – there are things in life you can NOT have. A dead parent brought back. A reversal of one’s adoption. Someone’s else’s property. Someone else’s life.

For example, my adopted out sister Joan Wheeler, despite being 58 years old, is STILL not accepting that after her mother died, she was given up for adoption and her birth sisters were not. She still can’t accept that five years after being reunited with her, we laid down boundaries, which she disrespected. She lied to us, stole goods and money from us, manipulated us, caused many problems. After she was told to leave us, she refused – and has been at us ever since – much harassments, telling lies about us in a book, in person, and on the internet. Calling my job with false accusations, trying to get me fired, (Nov. 2012) and bragging about it on the internet (Jan. 3013).

Joan refuses to fix her life, because she is a loser. Instead, she wants my life. She has in the past tried to destroy my life, my marriage, my career. WHY? Because she’s a bitch.


You also can’t change the fact that I hate you – and no, it isn’t because Mom died – I HATE YOU BECAUSE OF THE SHIT HARASSMENTS YOU HAVE DONE TO ME. Just because another namby-pamby judge pooh-poohed your STALKING me by calling my job trying to get me fired a year and a half ago, doesn’t erase the fact that that is what you did – WHY? Why do you so want me to get fired? You tried in the past to get me fired. WHY? Because you are jealous of me – I was not adopted and you were. Well too fucking bad sweetheart. That’s just too damn fucking bad. Go fuck off. 



Joan Wheeler tries to destroy my life, instead of fixing her own miserable life. April 25, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
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I want everyone to really look at this meme and really digest what it says:


Now, let’s apply this to what Joan Wheeler has done to me. 

1990 stole hundreds of dollars from me by dipping into a joint checking account that we had together for the purpose of buying real estate. Joan used MY money to fix the brakes on HER car – without asking me. A refund from the lawyer we used was split between Joan and me – Joan agreed to give me all the money the lawyer sent her to compensate me for the money she stole. In December 1990 she phoned me and said she changed her mind and was keeping the money. I told her to go fuck herself and get the fuck out of my life. 

1991 Joan begins her campaign to destroy my life. She calls my house and speaks to my husband’s cousin who was living with us at the time. Joyce scribbled a note to me to go on the bedroom phone and listen in. I heard lies, lies, lies – and later, Joyce said that Joan was trying to turn her against me.

Joan’s husband at this time, was being a bad boy – he was making ATM withdrawals from the checking account he had with Joan and was using the money at a strip joint. Joan accused me of hacking into her checking account by robbing the ATM and stealing the money.  

1992 out of the clear blue sky – greeting cards supposedly from Joan’s children suddenly began arriving at my house – for my husband “Uncle John” but clearly omitting Aunt Ruth – Joan begins brainwashing her own children. 

1993 Joan gets an annoyance phone call and blames me – calls the phone company to set up a trace trap (pre caller-ID days). To bait me into calling her, she forges a letter from her son – addresses the envelope in her handwriting to me, but the letter inside – written by Joan, but she signs it as her 10 year old son. I stupidly took the bait and called her. But she says, “hold on a minute” and hangs up. Thinking we were disconnected, I called back. She says “wait a minute” again and hangs up. I call again – same thing. I gave up. But Joan calls the phone company and files a police report that I called her and hung up on her – three times. Which is all they need to file charges. Joan LIED AND FILED A FALSE POLICE REPORT ON ME. Phone records at that time did show three short incoming calls from my number. They don’t show who hung up on whom! So we went to court and the judge gave her a restraining order against me – dated August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. I know the date cos it was my birthday – August 9 – and still have the court documents. 

1994 – a typing mistake made by a billing clerk in the billing office where I work mixed Joan’s hospital bill up with a patient with a similar name. Joan claimed I did it. She called my job with a complaint. They investigated and traced the mistake to the typing mistake. They also told Joan that I could NOT have done it, as I don’t have access to the billing computers. Joan wasn’t going to have it – she KNEW I did it – and for six months – an almost daily basis – kept calling the hospital and telling anyone who answered the phone that I was a bitch and a troublemaker. She told numerous people to fire me. – I was told later about this and hospital administrators even had a meeting and people were told that when Joan Wheeler called to hang up on her. 

December 1994 – Joan calls child abuse on herself, posing as me, giving out my name, and naming my husband as a child molester of Joan’s children. Joan writes to New York State Child Abuse center and tells them that in 1993 I was sentenced to six months PROBATION. No – I was sentenced to a six month order of protection and told to stay away from Joan – and it was ACD – Adjournment on Consideration of Dismissal – which means that if I stayed away from Joan for six months, and I did, it would all be dismissed – and it was. BIG DIFFERENCE FROM WHAT PROBATION IS.

January 1995 – Joan writes several letters to elected officials in the city of Buffalo, including the mayor – these letters contained personal and medical information about me, and tells them that I have a criminal record. Joan sends me copies of these letters, which I use to charge her with harassment, but the judge dismisses the charges, saying “sisters should get along.” When Joan received the summons to court, she begins writing letters to my husband and his mother telling them I am a bitch, John should leave me, and asks my mother in law to appear in court against me. My mother in law had never met Joan. Joan kept calling her on the phone until her other son grabbed the phone and swore at Joan that if she called the house again, the police would be called.

 1997 – Joan asks friends of hers to find a hitman to take me out.  

1998 – I received a harassing letter from Joan stating that I was seen driving past her house. I did not have a car at the time so no, I did not drive past her house. I was also accused of violating the order of protection that she had put against me five years earlier – which was the first time I had heard of that – and she had not said that when I took her to court in 1995. 

February 1999 – Joan sends me a letter stating that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant and they had a baby girl in 1994. The house was vacant – and since 1987 (when I moved into my house) there were only two babies born at the house next to me – DJ in 1990 and Jesse in 1992.The letter Joan sends me is in an envelope with a return address belonging to a friend that Joan is fighting with. She does not have permission to use her friend’s address. I take Joan to court again for harassment and am granted a one year order of protection against Joan. 

January 2004 – after a few months of relative friendly interaction on the internet via a family photo sharing website that I was trying to build, Joan sends me a filthy email (out of the clear blue sky) accusing me of setting her up. I did not have a home computer at the time, and would use public computers at the downtown library or the medical library at my work (which we were allowed to use). I was out sick for a week in January and did not see Joan’s rotten email. It got buried and I finally saw a few weeks later – and I answered her and told her that our uneasy truce was not going to work because she falsely accused me of something I didn’t do. She emails me back – bitching at me – so I told her via email to go to hell. 

November 2009 – Joan goes to a vanity press to have the book she had been writing for 30 years published. In it were many lie, distortions and misrepresentations of myself, my family, my husband. And out and out libel. Statements that the order of protection that she received against me was for one year, not the six months it actually was for. 

Summer 2012 – tells a friend of hers – one Brian Maloney old gossip about me having a fight with someone back in 1979. Joan tells Brian so much bullshit about me that Brian himself begins to cyber-harass me and even stoops to emotional blackmail by threatening to expose my “dark dirty secret” on the internet. I stood up to his abusive threats by telling him to go right ahead and say what he wants – but the police and the courts would be very interested in how a man who is a total stranger to Ruth, never spoke to Ruth face to face, knows Ruth’s “dark dirty secret.” Brian backs off. – So once again, Joan is trying to ruin my reputation.

November 2012 – writes an anonymous letter to my job accusing me of computer fraud and demands that I be fired.

January 2013 – admits on the internet that she indeed sent that letter and then says that I’ve been calling her house from my job to set up medical appointments for her. 

So let’s sum up the rotten shit Joan has done:

1990 – steals money from me, reneges on repayment plan.

1991 – tries to turn my husband’s cousin against me, accuses me of robbing an ATM.

1992 – begins to use her children as pawns to turn my husband against me. And begins to brainwash her children against me.

1993 – sets me up by baiting me to telephone her house, hangs up on me 3 times, then files a false report on me and hauls me into court.

1994 – begins calling my job with false accusations to have me fired. – Calls child abuse posing as me, trying to get my husband to break up with me. Writes letter to New York State libeling me.

1995 – continues calling my job trying to get me fired, Writes libelous letters about me to various elected officials. Writes to my mother in law, trying to turn her against me. Writes to my husband telling him to leave me.

1997 – tries to get me killed.

1998 – writes stupid harassing letters to me.

1999 – writes to me telling me my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant.

2004 – falsely accuses me of things I didn’t do.

2009 – publishes a libelous book that portrays me as criminal.

2012 – contacts my job again to get me fired. Continues to try to ruin my reputation by having a friend of hers threaten me with emotional blackmail.

 So — Joan has a history of trying to destroy me personally, trying to destroy my reputation with elected officials and personal friends and in-laws, trying to destroy my relationship with my fiance and my marriage. And trying to destroy my career. 

What did that picture say again? – “you know how to tell when someone is miserable with their own life? When they look for ways to destroy someone else’s.” 

Joan Wheeler is so miserable in her own rotten life, that instead of trying to fix her own life, she has set out for almost 24 years – to destroy my life. 

That’s why I have this blog – to show the world what a bitch Joan is – and to show that she has not, and never will – destroy me.

  1. gertmcqueenApril 26, 2014

Gert here…
And Ruth is only ONE person that Joan did wrong!

Joan interfered with my minor children and my adoption of my children. She called two false child abuse reports against me. She accused my husband of wrong doings. In between DECADES of no-contract with her Joan would CONTINUE to attempt to interfere with my life.

Joan violated our privacy by writing an article that included our real names.

Joan violated our other sister Kathy’s relationships with friends. Joan enlisted Rene Hoksbergen to intimidate Kathy and con monies from her.

Joan attempted to enlist my grown daughter to commit a crime for her.

Joan wrote a libelous book against EVERY member of the birth family.

Joan Wheeler is garbage! And that’s why we have these blogs…to tell the saga of Joan Wheeler’s deeds.

2. RuthApril 27, 2014

Gert speaks truth – Joan Wheeler is garbage!


A letter I wrote to Joan Wheeler, 10 years before her book came out- warning her not use my name or picture – and the bitch did it anyway. March 26, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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I just found a gem of a letter that I wrote to Joan in April 1999 – to answer the bitch’s letter to me in February 1999 that my then fiancé (now husband) John got the next door neighbor pregnant. Pay close attention to the paragraph that I highlighted in bold – I told her back in 1999 that she did not have permission to use my name or likeness in her book – 10 years later, in 2009, she may have changed my name, but she left plenty of clues as to my name AND USED MY PICTURE ON THE BACK OF HER BOOK – and that is why her book got pulled from publication.

Ms. Joan Wheeler

1 C Drive,

Kenmore, New York 14223

April 20, 1999,

My Dear Joni,

  I think that there a couple of things that need to be clarified. First, the notion that you have that I am wallowing in bitterness and negativity regarding the death of my mother and your existence.

  I do not nor have I ever blamed you for Mom’s death. When we found you I was truly happy. And to this day there are times I truly miss you. I miss the good times we had going to the beach, and two or three years ago, when Channel 17 showed a Moody Blues concert I thought that it would have been great watching it with you. I cried because I couldn’t.

  I don’t know why you tend to get things mixed up. The first time I called you (the famous “bowling” call), it was at 2 P.M. from a dental office in the Brisbane Building that Gert worked at. It was a Tuesday. The dentist Gert worked for always took Tuesday afternoons off, but Gert had clerical work to do. I was neither drunk, nor panicky when I called you, and I did not end the call with a bunch of giggles. I remember practically every word I said to you as if I had just placed the call five minutes ago.

  And yes, I did not take very good care of Mom’s wedding dress in the beginning. But you did not return it by throwing it at my feet and yelling at me. And the year you returned it was 1983, not 1978. And I never got the beads back. So if I originally did not take good care of the dress, you also had a hand in “disrespecting” it.

  Where did you get the idea that my grandfather molested and murdered his first born son Richard? Who told you that? If anyone did, they are lying. Richard died of diptheria.

  And the idea that my father molested us? Where does this stuff come from? Let me set you straight right here and now, MY FATHER DID NOT MOLEST ME OR MY SISTERS. Kathy kicked him in the balls because that is the most effective place to kick a guy. And that was because Dad stormed into our bedroom with his “Big Daddy” routine. Kathy was getting dressed. She had on slacks and was starting to put on her blouse and yelled at Dad because he saw her in her bra. He yelled back at her “I made you, I can look at you. Now get downstairs and clean up that mess.” Dad was too mad to be thinking about her boobs!

  The evening before, our brother Butch was on the phone with his friend George. Kathy came in and wanted to use the phone. Butch said no, cause the last time she said it was important, she ended up calling her girlfriend Pat and told her some new gossip about the Beatles. This time, Butch refused to give up the phone. Kathy reached over and tried to hang up the hook on the wall phone. Butch got up and the next thing you know, the two of them were going at it. John and I were watching from the dining room, George heard it over the phone. Dishes were broken, food ended up on the floor. Then Kathy stormed out of the house. Shortly afterwards, Butch left too, leaving me and John with the mess. Which of course, we did not touch. When Dad came home, we told him what happened and when the guilty parties came home, they were told that they were going to get up the next morning at 6:00 and clean it up. And sure enough, 6:00 the next morning (a Saturday), Dad came upstairs and woke Kathy up. She got up, went to the bathroom and came back upstairs. She was taking her time getting dressed, I could hear Dad downstairs yelling at her to get down there and clean the mess up. I didn’t see him, but Butch tells me that at this point, he was already in the kitchen cleaning. Kathy kept dawdling, Dad was getting madder and madder and that’s when he came up to our room.

  Since you were raised as an only child, the above scenario would seem alien to you. But it happens all the time when you get brothers and sisters together. Real life ain’t like The Brady Bunch. I remember our cousins Gail and Norman going at it too! And since I spent so much time there, I was involved in a few brawls with them. One time Aunt Catherine broke in the bathroom door after Gail locked herself in to avoid a thrashing.

    It is my understanding that you plan to use my true name and photograph in your book. Well, I am hereby serving you notice that if you do, and you keep that reference of me being drunk when I called, you will be served with a lawsuit for invading my privacy and portraying me as a drunk. You do not nor have ever had my permission to use my name or like ness. And you had better not even of publishing that garbage about my grandfather and father. I don’t like it one bit when I find that strangers are reading that my grand father is a murderer and my father is a molestor. There is no truth to these “speculations” of yours and that is just what they are-speculations of your warped mind.

  You were hopping mad when two doctors wrote an article about your daughter’s medical condition in a medical journal, claiming that your privacy was invaded. You want YOUR privacy protected, but what about Gert and Kathy’s privacy? It is up to THEM to tell anyone about their childhood NOT YOU! And what about MY privacy? Who gave you the right to send a “detailed family history” (your version of it) to Commissioner Deborah Merrifield of Social Services? Where was MY privacy when you wrote to the Director of Patient Accounts of Buffalo General Hospital and told him MY personal medical history and MY marital status? What do those two things have to do with YOUR erroneous hospital bill? And where do you get off repeatedly calling my place of employment trying to get me fired? Your phone calls were described to me as “bizarre.” I told everyone, “Of course they’re bizarre, they’re coming from a bizarre person.”

  And of course your scheme to break me and John up certainly didn’t work. What did you think to accomplish when you dragged his mother in it? My future mother-in-law sees you for what you are-a trouble-making idiot.

  I must hand it to you though, you gave it a good try by calling child abuse on yourself and naming my fiance as the perpetrator, hoping that I would get blamed for the call. Your mistake was that you went overboard by writing letters to the mayor of Buffalo, and other elected officials. I simply sat back and watched you hang yourself. I don’t need to do anything to you, you seem quite capable of digging your own grave.

  A relationship of any kind is two-way, not one-way, and that way being YOUR way whether we like it or not. Your attitude has always been, “This is how it will be. Take it or leave it.” And that is exactly what I and so many others have done. We chose not to take it, and left. How many friendships have you destroyed throughout the years? Well, you can add two more to the ever growing list of people who cared about you, had enough of your bullshit and lies, and have broken off their friendship to you. Those being my fiance John and your friend on Balzac Court. No, I did not “badmouth” you, nor did I tell you to put her address on a bullshit letter you sent to my house. You destroyed that friendship all by yourself. Again, you are own worst enemy. And that is the real reason our reunion went sour, not because of some complex psychological feelings of guilt and shame from our dysfunctional childhood, nor feelings of jealousy that you had a secure home growing up while we did not. We simply grew tired of putting up with your rotten behavior. Your behavior is unacceptable and can not and will not be tolerated. Your behavior has cost you the very thing you wanted-your birth family. And don’t try to get yourself off the hook by saying that it wasn’t you who initiated the search, but that it was Gert and me who brought you something you did not want. You had already made the conscious decision when you turned 18, to search for your birth family. You wanted us just as much as we wanted you. It truly is a shame that our lost sister, despite growing up in a stable home environment did not learn the moral values that we did. I am not saying that I’m Miss Goody Two-Shoes. I’ve done a lot of stuff in my life, but nothing compared to your evil plotting, lies, and thefts. I’d bet Shadya is happy that she had to contend with me and Fran and not you. Anything that we did to Shadya pales in comparison to what you have done. We never once called her job and tried to get her fired, or frame her so that she would get arrested or hauled into court on some bullshit “harassment” charges. And we never made off with 900 bucks of hers!

  I especially love the time when after I told you in December 1990 that I wanted nothing more to do with you, you had the nerve to call and leave a message on my answering machine saying that money shouldn’t come between sisters. YOU who had only worked a few temporary jobs, and those not very hard ones either are going to lecture ME about MY hard-earned money! I bust my ass at my job. Many times I have to drag myself home on the bus with my feet and back killing me. I have pulled my back out 4 times and in June of 1997, I was out on disability because I was assaulted (kicked in the neck) by a confused patient. And the money you STOLE was not even my money. I had borrowed that money from the credit card, and had to work my ass off to pay it back, going with out a car, because YOU helped yourself to the money to fix YOUR car. When my car broke, I did not have the money to fix it, all my paychecks went to pay back the bank for the borrowed $900.00 you stole. And when dear old Uncle John got laid off, and we did not have the money to pay our electric bill, they shut our electricity off. I called you to beg you for some money-THE MONEY YOU STOLE FROM ME-and you kept hanging up on me, then LIED and said that I hung up on you!

 Then used that lie to press bullshit harassment charges on me. This is how you treat your sister that you “love” and your “dear” friend and “uncle” John to your children, a “member of your family.” Remember, HIS electricity was turned off too, and the years we went without a car and could not buy another because I was paying off a debt that I shouldn’t have had to, I was out in the cold waiting for buses too. But you don’t care about that do you? You only care about JONI’S discomfort and JONI’S happiness and to hell with everyone else!

  And then you start the bullshit again last month by lovingly informing me that my fiance got my next door neighbor pregnant and they had a baby girl in June 1994. Well, the only two newborns from that house in the past ten years were BOYS. The first, D.J.,born in 1992, looks exactly like his Dad, Danny. The second, Jesse, was born in 1995. I was working the night he was born, and I held him at 5:00 in the morning, just hours after his birth. Charlene and I were oohing and aahing over his little pee-pee. I guarantee, Jesse was a BOY not a girl. Did you really think that John would remain your friend after you told such a lie about him? Open mouth and insert foot, Joni.

  I was recently informed that some time ago, you tried to engage a “hitman” to kill me. What a sweet loving sister you are! This is how you show that you love me? In the letters you sent me in the beginning of March you say that you love me, yet you threaten my life? Could this possibly be the reason why I don’t like you? Go ahead, whine some more that me and my sisters don’t like you. To quote you from your letter dated March 1999, “For some reason you don’t like me.” Yeah, I really like people who threaten my life. I’m such a masochist, what can I say? I like people who steal close to $900.00 from me and tell lies about me. NOT!

  I have already informed the District Attorney about the threat you made against my life. They can’t do anything at the present time, because it is only hearsay. But they are well aware of your threat, your harassing letters to me and other people, your attitude to various police agencies, and your false claims of having an arrest warrant for our cousin, (????), lies about me being convicted of harassment, of me being placed on probation, and you having an Order of Protection against me. I was NOT convicted or placed on probation. If you’re so smart, provide me with the name of my “probation officer.” You can’t come up with a name because I was never placed on probation. The judge merely told me to leave you alone for six months as a condition of dismissal. I left you alone, and the case against me was summarily dis- missed. The judge did give you an Order of Protection and the district attorney’s office did not like it one bit that YOU called MY house, two months after the judge told me to leave you alone. As usual, Joan does what SHE wants to do. You get the judge to tell me to leave YOU alone, but then you think that you can turn around and call and bother ME.

  And since you don’t have an Order of Protection against me, I can drive down any street I want. Who died and left you boss, telling me I can’t drive on certain streets. I don’t know how you or your son “saw” me driving past your house since I did not have a car. I do now, and I’ll drive where I damn well please. Unless you bought the car or pay for the insurance and maintainence, you have no say on where I drive my car.

  Oh, by the way, I was investigated by the district attorneys last month in conjunction to my complaint against you. I found out about it from someone I’m close to. I wel- come investigations, because I don’t break the law or make an idiot of myself like you do. I have nothing to hide. If I were you, I’d pray that nothing suspicious ever happens to me or John, because you will be the first person the district attorney will question. In closing let me thank you for providing me with an ad- dress last month that proved very rewarding to me. The gods above are indeed looking out for me. A couple of years after you and Colby made off with the $900, I was still fussing. John’s cousin Chuckie told me “Let it go. You’ll get the money back another way.” And I did. I hit the lottery twice, once with the three digit, and once with the four digit daily numbers for a total of $900.00. I also got a couple of hun- dred dollars from the scratch-off tickets. (I still have the payout receipts). And now, nine years later, I have been rewarded again with two things that I have been wanting a long time. My thanks to you because without the letters you sent me in March, they would not have come to be. YOU pro-vided the means by which I profited.

  Goodbye, from your sister who truly does love and miss you, but realizes that your moral values are so different from mine, that we can never have a relationship again. Ruth

ps. I have the guts to put my name on a letter that I write. If you don’t have the courage and honor to sign your name and stand by what you say, then don’t bother saying it. But then again, since it was all a bunch of lies, it’s no wonder you were ashamed to put your name to it. You have proven again and again that you are nothing but a thief and a liar. As to the old saying “How do you sleep at night?” Well, maybe all the “anxiety attacks” that cause you to wake up at night screaming is really your conscience bothering you. I, on theother hand sleep very soundly. And very soundly indeed.

pps. When a “woman professional” (since when, you don’t even have a job, let alone a profession), writes a letter of complaint to a another woman professional, she doesn’t call her a bitch and tell her that she (the recipient of the complaint) almost got slapped in the face. That simply is just not done. It is most unseemly. Oh, now I get your profession! Professional student and welfare slob. You’ve only been going to school for the last twenty years. Your other job must be professional troublemaker and liar.

  Now act like the spoiled little brat that you are and call up Daddy and whine: “Daaaddy, Ruth wrote me a leeetter, Daaaddy.” “I”m gonna tell Daddy on you Ruth, NYAH, NYAH” To quote you: “ACT YOUR AGE!”


Go ahead, whine some more at me “you don’t like me.”


NOTE from Gert…

see my post about letter exchange I had with Joan


Will Joan Wheeler bitch some more on how I spend my money? March 18, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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I’ve been a bad girl. In recent weeks, I’ve purchased the following MP3 music albums from amazon: four George Abdo belly dancing albums, two 101 Strings albums (Soul of Spain and East of Suez) SIX Eddie “The Sheik” Kochak belly dancing albums – thereby reducing the number of vinyl records in my attic by about 10, and getting some records I never had. I also got the following DVDs: The Complete Series – Battlestar Galactica (the original), One Step Beyond, Kolchak the Night Stalker, and In Search Of.  Movies (for John): Colossus the Forbin Project, Hercules in New York and Team America: World Police.  Movies I got for myself were A Night to Remember and Godspell.

Okay, Joan, you can now go public with your condemnation on how I spend my own dam money like you did in your book. Fuck you bitch – I work at my job for myself and my husband – not for your approval. – who the fuck asked you anyway?

and actually, I’ve haven’t been a bad girl – yeah, I splurged on media items – but you know what? My bills are paid, my pantry and fridge are full, If I want to buy things, that MY decision, NOT Joan’s.

1. Ruth

What prompted this – was a totally bitchy paragraph in Joan’s book where she nastily says that it was a good thing I never became a parent. She pointed out that I was busy spending money on videotapes for my hobby of collecting movies, implying that I wouldn’t spend $$$ on my kids – REALLY?

Well, missy Joan, you state in the book that was in 1992, but I’ll have you know that a mere year later, in 1993, I spent just over a hundred bucks for a dog-house for my new dog.

And what I do with my life, my hobbies, MY MONEY – is not your concern.

HEY! I thought your book was supposed to be about YOUR adoption, YOUR reunion, and all about YOU. What the fuck is RUTH’S spending habits got to do with YOUR adoption and YOUR reunion? NOTHING.

2. Ruth

as for parents not spending money on their children when they are supposed to – Back in 1986, The Monkees were on tour with The Grass Roots and Gary Puckett. They were appearing in Chataugua, New York (south of Buffalo). Joan calls me up and wants to know if I want to go. Of course I want to, but I don’t have the money. Joan owed me some money, so she offered to buy my ticket. So I said okay. We went with her then-husband to see the three rock groups – July 1986 and had a good time. Then two months later, the bands added Buffalo to their tour. And Joan just HAD to go. She asked me if I wanted to see them again. I said no, once was enough, and I have bills to pay. Well, she simply HAD to go, because she just had a dream about Mickey Dolenz. (wow! what a reason to spend $$$ to see a performance you’d already seen). A couple of weeks later – Joan calls me up crying – her electricity is getting shut off. REALLY?  WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? – Here we have a grown woman of 30 years old, a MOTHER with a soon to be three year old son at home, AND SHE’S 8 1/2 MONTHS PREGNANT WITH HER SECOND CHILD – instead of paying her bills, she’s running around spending money going to rock concerts.



Lesson for Joan Wheeler – lying about people won’t make you happy. February 7, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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It’s impossible to build one’s own happiness on the unhappiness of others.

So true. So what did you think to accomplish when you published that filthy book full of lies Joan? Yes, you accomplished SOMETHING  – you hurt me again and again. Every time I turned a page and read another filthy lie about me – I actually was walking in circles in my kitchen crying when I read your twisting of facts, your put-downs of me being a prospective mother, your disgusting stabbing me in the back twenty years after I got over the initial anger of your dirty deeds to me –

BUT what else did it get you? Your biggest dream (actually an unrealistic fantasy) was that your book was going to be a million dollar best seller and either a TV movie or a Hollywood blockbuster book was going to made of your book – and you would be set for life.

And because you blatantly lied about events in MY life – and I had documented proof of those lies (actual police and court documents, your own harassing letters to me and the envelopes they came in) – YOUR LIES WERE EXPOSED.

Proof of your lies – libel – was sent to the publisher and your book was pulled.

You said once on an internet forum, about two years, ago, that you “wasted 30 years of my life writing a book.” That’s right honey, you did. But you got part of that wrong – you didn’t waste 30 years of your life writing a book – you wasted 30 years of your life TRYING TO KILL OTHER PEOPLE’S HAPPINESS! 

What did you think to accomplish when you were harassing me? Did you honestly think my relationship with John would go down the tubes when you sent that lying letter to me saying he got the next door neighbor pregnant? What really happened is that when I showed him the letter – he was disgusted with you. You always claimed you honored him as friend. HA! Well that’s one friend who hates you now.

What did you think to accomplish when you repeatedly called my job in 1994-95 with false accusations of me? And did it again in November 2012? Did you really think I would get fired? – HA! Not only was I NOT fired (because I am innocent of your bullshit lies), but my job now knows you as a freak – a crackpot who has nothing better to do with her time than lie about innocent people.

One other thing that was accomplished Joan – when the truth of your lies were exposed by this blog and Gert’s blog – YOUR REPUTATION IN THE ADOPTION REFORM ACTIVIST COMMUNITY IS NOW SEVERELY COMPROMISED.

And you have only yourself to blame. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you pick up the phone and call my job. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you sent me that lying letter about John. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you type out all those lies in your book.



1. gertmcqueenFebruary 7, 2014

Gert here…yep…Joan’s lies and dirty deeds have become apparent to even those in the adoption reform movement! TRUTH always out wins lies! Joan should have learned how to ‘bury the bodies’ when she decided to KILL HER KIN FOLK! Oh sure, she led a great charge against her kin, when we first learned of her, 30 years in the making, masterpiece! Where’s all those angry adoptees today? Not by Joan’s side. There been a couple of new books on the adoption topics these days and none of them INCLUDE Joan Wheeler! Even the most vocal of the activists do not want to share the printed venue with Joan! She’s now trying to break into a new field…online therapy! Yep! good luck on that!

2. gertmcqueenFebruary 7, 2014

Gert here again… I was just reading some blog posts and found a comment that Joan left about Joe Soll! Okay Joe just FOUND his mother! Great news, that’s nice for him, but Joan, takes any opportunity for someone else’s spot light to pour out her bullshit that means nothing! In that lying book Joan wrote she USED Joe Soll. I had email exchange with the man and he DENIED what she wrote in the book, we have blogged about this…YET Joan acts as if she is CLEAN… here’s the comment she left…with ALL HER usual misspellings, she can’t even honor her friends with checking her spelling! Her sweetness makes me want to puke! Anyone who can do shit, like she did to her own KIN, and then speak false sweetness and false ‘peace’ to strangers, only proves to the world what a fool she is.

@forbiddenfamily · 2 weeks ago Back then, in the late 80s, Jow began organizing the Marches on Washington. I was there fro three of them. Saddens me that he could have met his mother at the time. So sorry for that loss. But very happy indeed for the wonderful news of NOW! releived for the man who helped so many of us. Knowing you, dear friend, has meant so much for me. May you now know some inner peace.

and here is the link http://www.adopteerestoration.com/2014/01/breakthrough-for-one-of-our-own-in.html#more

and have you ever noticed that Joan always talks about the 70s, 80s, 90s she is a HAS BEEN! She has DONE NOTHING IN RECENT HISTORY or currently, cause she’s a liar!

3. RuthFebruary 8, 2014


In this post – we show Mr. Joe Soll’s email to Gert, in which he says “I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/”

AdoptionHealing.com – AdoptionCrossroads.org – EvilExchange.com” To: Gert Mcqueen Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM Subject: Re: fact finding request, please I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.

here is Joe’s entire email, in which he had copied and pasted Gert’s question and provided an answer:

From: “Joe Soll, LCSW – AdoptionHealing.com – AdoptionCrossroads.org – EvilExchange.com” To: Gert Mcqueen

Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM Subject: Re: fact finding request, please

I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.

(Gert asks):

Also, in her book, Joan relays a phone conversation with you, pg 311, regarding these alleged letters in which she writes that you did indeed receive them and that you had spoken with Joan about them

(Joe answers): This is patently false.

(Gert offers):

If you do not have access to her book, but wish to see the pages I am referring, I would gladly snail you copies if you would provide me an address. My sisters and I would greatly apprecitate it if you could shed light on this for us and yourself.

(Joe answers): I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/

Feel free to contact me further

Be well, 조살 :-)

4. RuthFebruary 8, 2014


to reiterate what Mr. Joe Soll said about her book:

“I do not need to see the book,”

that means, that when he sent that email, May 2010, he had not seen the book yet, nor would he ever, because he was made aware that Joan LIED about him in the book. And he will NEVER see it, because it is dead – having been pulled from publication because of the LIES Joan put in it.

2ND edition of Forbidden Family? If it contains ONE lie, I’ll see you in court Joan Wheeler November 12, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In recent months, Joan Wheeler has been working on a “second edition” of her “autobiography” Forbidden Family.

The first edition was yanked from publication because of the serious LEGAL problems with it – slander and libel; unauthorized use of somebody’s picture. Her lame attempt to disguise my name, while publishing her own adoptive and birth name, my mother’s real name, my father’s real last name and publishing the name of a publication and an article (written by Joan in the early 1990’s) that had my real name in it. Much of the first chapter of her book was taken from this article.

Joan writes on her website that her book is “truthful.” Yet her book contains bold-faced lies. Lies that are proven as such by actual Buffalo City Court documents, and hand-written letters by Joan herself.

The court documents were sent to Trafford Publications and in May 2011, Trafford’s legal department ruled that Joan VIOLATED her contract with them: mainly that she said her “truthful” book was the truth and that she was the sole copyright of the book and all it’s content. Since my documentation proved she committed libel and used my photograph without my knowledge or consent, her book was pulled.

I cannot believe that Joan’s second edition will be an improvement. Because if she changes anything, it will contradict her statement that the first edition is “truthful.” Because the truth can NOT be changed. Anybody who thinks the truth is changeable is an out and out asshole.

Does Joan think her second book is going to pass my scrutiny? Because if I find even ONE lie in it about me, I will be suing her ass. And I will view any further lies as an act of harassment against me, and I will file harassment charges against her again.

And now I have a foot in the court door Joan – you may have gotten away with calling my job with false accusations about computer fraud because the judge basically pooh-poohed it. (July, 2013). But this time honey – the proof will be on the pages of your lying book. I WILL SEE YOU IN COURT JOAN WHEELER! AND THAT’S THE TRUTH.

1. gertmcqueen

gert here…and I SECOND this! Any and all materials that Joan Wheeler writes about OUR FAMILY will be looked at with a fine-tooth comb and magnifying glass! We OWN that first libelous book and we will OWN anything else that she writes that is not 100 percent truth…NOT HER VIEWPOINT but the truth. A person does not get the right to write anything, from their point of view, their feelings, etc, against REALITY AND TRUTH. so be VERY VERY CAREFUL JOAN WHEELER.

 2. Ruth

Joan certainly is a glutton for punishment. If she is looking for a beatdown, then she’s got it. And that is no threat to any physical beating – it is not a threat at all. It is a PROMISE – of a legal beat down and this time, I will sue her for everything she has – I will own her house. And once I do – I will evict her. She tried in the past to destroy my life – my career – my marriage – and she failed every time. She even failed in her last attempt to fuck me on my job – because stupid bitch forgot that my employer’s computer security team could check what I do. Her stupid and false accusation of computer fraud and misuse (November 2012) was checked and I was found innocent.

Make no mistake Joan – I own you. And you gave yourself to me with your ridiculous lies and schemes.

from facebook:

Gert Mcqueen – her sugar-daddy must have some kind of influence/$$ for her to think that she can get another book on us

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace – don’t know about that – all I can see is her fucking delusions surfacing again. SHE is going to put out HER book and to hell with us. That’s how she is thinking. But this is going to blow up in her face.

that book has nothing to do with adoption reform at all – her motive for it, was the intentional trashing of anyone in her life that ever pissed her off. Her continued attempts to fuck with me – calling my job repeatedly in 1994-95, calling child abuse on herself, posing as me, writing letters to John at his mom’s house telling him to leave me – are all indicative of this. She hates me and her book is nothing but a way to get at me. But she has failed and this is another example of her mental illness.

Gert Mcqueen – her delusions are surfacing because she’s got a sugar-daddy! personally I’m not too concerned about this cause I know that I’M NOT DONE EXPOSING EVERYTHING I have on her…in fact I got to finish up a draft to get it on the blog…tonight! She not only has delusions, she is delusional…NO PUBLISHER will print from her…and unless she’s willing to really self-publish it ain’t going to get done, but then again, if she did self-publish it…the range of media EXPOSURE from us will still do the same as we did already.

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace – exactly Gert – even if she cons another publisher, that publisher will hear from us – and the outcome will be the same as it was for the first book – the complete pulling of the book. Amazon.com already knows about the “problems” with this author – and any website that would carry it will be notified that the book is libelous. Any publisher will also be held liable by me for publishing any lie about me – I stand to make a lot in monetary damages.

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace  – as to the sugar daddy – I think he may be gone – because her attention seems to be focused on me and bitch Laura is feeding her shit. That’s all right. Laura is an ass – is inconsequential to me, and I dismiss that little child.

3. RuthNovember 12, 2013

I want to extend a hearty thank you to Joan – for her stupidly handing me this to me on a silver platter.
Joan, you foolish child – by calling my job in November 2012 with a false accusation of computer fraud/misuse, you gave me the opportunity to file charges on you.
The judge pooh-poohed it because he thought it was silly nonsense. However, the publication of a libelous book is a different matter.
Many people who put out libelous material get sued. Your continued lying about me will show the judge that you are, and have been engaged in a smear campaign against me and my reputation. Your admission to calling my job back in 1994-95 and the letter that I have that you wrote to Mr. Peter S. (then director of patient accounts) will show that you have indeed been engaged in a 20 year smear campaign against me.

The judge dismissed my charges against you in July 2013. BUT if you publish a book after that date, that contains lies about me, my lawyer and I will be able to show the judge that you are still harassing me in print.

Hold on your socks and pull!

Oh NO! Gert and I are collecting movies on DVD! Quick now, throw us in jail, Joan Wheeler! November 6, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Oh NO! Gert and I are collecting movies on DVD! Quick now, throw us in jail, Joan Wheeler!

On page 302 of her filthy lying book, Joan Wheeler condemns me for “collecting movies.” She uses it in the context that because I didn’t have kids I was using my own money on other things. But she said it in a very rotten way. “It’s a good thing she didn’t have any children.”

Yes, at the time, I would go to the store and buy a pack of VCR tapes and tape movies off the TV. However, at that time, I had also acquired an adult dog- DOG, not cat, Joan. Her name was Brandy, three years old, a 65 pound Siberian Husky/Alaskan Malamute mix. We got her from some neighbor friends who were breaking up.

Despite my hobby of “collecting movies,” I spent over $100.00 on a dog house for my Brandy. I didn’t have a car at the time. I ordered it through the JC Penney catalog and had it delivered to my house – at extra cost for that delivery. It was so cute – a snap-together resin plastic dog house, terra cotta in color with a green roof – shaped like a log cabin with a slate roof.

Excuse me Joan – who the hell are YOU to make a comment on how I spend MY money? Money that I earn by busting my ass on something called A JOB! – Something YOU were too lazy to get. ALSO,  I showed that despite my hobby of collecting movies, I was a responsible dog parent in providing the best of care for her. I took better care of her than her previous owners, who fed her commercial food for pet rodents (hamster food) with kitchen grease poured on it. Within two months, Brandy’s coat thickened and shone right up. Other neighbors noticed it and complimented me. I also bought toys for her, she got the best medical care too when she needed it – she was up all the time on her shots.

O, but in September 1986 – Joan spent money on tickets to see The Monkees when they appeared in Buffalo. Never mind she had already seen them in July 1986. But she simply had to see them a second time. Then a week later, she’s on the phone with me, crying – her electricity was getting shut off. Now they don’t shut your electricity off unless you haven’t paid it for a few months. And here is Joan, with a one year old son at home, 8 months pregnant with her daughter – and instead of paying the electric bill to provide for her child(ren) she goes to a rock concert. AND HAS THE NERVE TO WRITE IN HER FILTHY BOOK THAT I WOULD NOT BE A GOOD PARENT BECAUSE I BOUGHT BLANK VCR TAPES??? TALK ABOUT A HYPOCRITICAL BITCH!

In 2001, when Peter Jackson’s film version of the first installment of The Lord of the Rings came out, I made the switch to DVDs. I picked up a good player and have been buying DVDs ever since. I have the complete TV series of Star Trek, (original), The Animated Series, and Enterprise. Missing only one of the movies, missing only one season of ST Voyager, and have two seasons of Deep Space Nine and three seasons of ST The Next Generation.

I also have the complete TV series of Superman, Remington Steele, The Flash, Alien Nation, Buck Rogers, Earth 2, and some of The West Wing, The Paper Chase, Hill Street Blues, Fame. And the first four seasons of Ghost Hunters. I also pre-ordered (and paid for) via one of the cast members – the last season of Ghost Hunters International, which will be autographed by a couple of the cast members.

I also have the mini series Roots, Roots 2, Brideshead Revisited, Shaka Zulu, Captains and the Kings, Cosmos, Centennial, Shogun, The First Churchills. And movies! – I have gotten lots of movies, and music DVDs. And even got a music DVD that I ordered thru and he autographed for me – from my long time crush Jon Anderson of Yes. And my husband John is building up his collection too!

Well, lately, since she is now retired, Gert has been collecting DVD movies. She always enjoyed watching Star Trek, but was busy with her kids to really sit down and watch it. She recently went out and got all three season of the original series and a set of all the Star Trek movies.

From yesterday (November 5, 2013) to this morning – we were having a conversation on facebook, concerning the new fan-made Star Trek series, “Star Trek Continues.” This most excellent series just wrapped up principal photography on their second episode. Their first episode “Pilgrim of Eternity” is available for viewing on youtube. It is very good. Gert was telling me that she wanted to get through the DVDs that she already bought before she got into this series.

My last comment in our conversation is here and sums up what I truly believe was (and is) Joan’s motive in constantly putting me down for MY own life and financial decisions – JEALOUSY, PURE JEALOUSY! She looks at me, even though I have my own day-to-day struggles, and sees that I have direction and meaning in my life. HER own life has no meaning or direction.

Here is my last comment to Gert on facebook:

“oh no! just thought of something! You and I are “collecting movies!” – Better hide that info from the Nameless One, lest she condemn us for it – as she condemned me for collecting movies (particularly horror) in her book. Seems to me she was letting her f’ing jealousy come out in that condemnation. SHE had no job (lazy ass), HER husband was not bringing in the $$$ like John was, John and I didn’t have kids to suck up all our $$$, so whatever John and I were using our own hard-earned $$$ was automatically condemned by her.”

1. gertmcqueen

yep Joan spend decades writing about what the birth sisters did or didn’t do…like she’s in our minds…I thought that Joan wrote/writes about HER ADOPTION so why is it that she KNOWS what is right/best/wrong with us or anyone else…Joan is just a little god looking for a following! Sorry I’m the star of MY MOVIE and no one gets to write lies about me and get away with it

 2. Ruth

oh absolutely Gert – that book has hardly ANY thing on her own life – but a lot of observations on OUR lives – particularly mine.

3. Ruth

Joan calls me Brenda in her book. Almost every other page is “BRENDA this, BRENDA that.” Was it a book for bitching about BRENDA (me) or a book about JOAN and her adoption.

4. Ruth

Oh – I just had a memory flash! Somewhere in her stupid book, and I don’t feel like looking for the exact page right now, Joan also condemned me for whining that I didn’t have my own computer with internet at home. NOPE, I never whined. I had told her in 2003/2004 that I did not have a computer at home and relied on public computers in libraries. I could not afford to buy a home computer because I was paying a mortgage. I was (and still am) a responsible property owner. The mortgage and taxes get paid first. Then the utilities, then the car note and car insurance and then credit card bills and other bills. Then come groceries, prescriptions, food and supplies for my cat, cleaning supplies and other household goods. After all of that – THEN I’ll pick up a DVD.

My mortgage was paid off in March 2006. In June 2006, I bought my first home computer, printer, and obtained internet service. John and I also got our first cell phones at that time. In 2009, our roof sprung a leak, and we needed a total tear-off and new roof. We financed a second mortgage to pay for the new roof. We also put on a new porch three years ago, we just replaced the storm windows in the front, and are doing interior work. In time, we will put on new siding.

My husband is retired now, but once a week, still goes into the Army/Navy Surplus Store to help out in the store, to keep active, and bring in a little extra cash. I still have my job, and we are both doing hands-on work on our house and property.

What anybody does with their own time, lives or money is nobody else’s damn business. For Joan to constantly be making comments on RUTH’S life, and RUTH’S possessions in her own book is a clear indication of what I said above – JOAN IS JEALOUS OF ME – pure and simple.

Learn this: Joan Wheeler – my employer’s security is damn good! March 2, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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I came across an interesting news item published in our local newspaper The Buffalo News. I tried to find the piece on The News website so I could give a url address, but since The News changed their website several months ago, it’s hard to find anything! So I will just type this out.

from the “Police & Courts” section of The Buffalo News, Tuesday, February 26, 2013 —

Woman is charged in theft of medication from hospital.

A 20-year-old Genesee Street woman was being held on grand larceny and criminal possession of stolen property for allegedly breaking into a secured medication cart at Buffalo General Medical Center about 2a.m. Monday and stealing a number of medications.

When hospital security went after her, she fled, but according to police reports, the stolen medications were recovered on Main Street, and she was arrested at Elmwood Avenue and North Street a short time later. Hospital security staff had video of her breaking into the medication cart, according to police. — end of news item.

For those not familiar with the City of Buffalo streets, Buffalo General Medical Center (formerly known as Buffalo General Hospital) is on High st., one block east of Main St. North street is two blocks north of Main St. and Elmwood Ave is about 4 or 5 blocks west of Main St. – So when this girl ran out the hospital – probably from the new emergency room that has its entrance on North Street (yeah, BGMC is huge! that ER is two city blocks away from the wing that I work in). – So she headed up North St, dumped the evidence on Main St, and continued on North St. until she got to Elmwood Ave. – which is only about a 15-20 minute walk (I used to live on Elmwood Ave. and would walk to work, so I know).

So our security guys had the suspect captured on video, called Buffalo Police. Also, BGMC has its own fleet of security vehicles, and they may have tailed her and alerted the Buffalo Police as to where the suspect was headed.

On January 22, 2013, Joan Wheeler posted a lying comment of The Huffington Post falsely accusing me of calling from my employer (BGMC) and making appointments for her. – I’ve already blogged about that in this post. Joan Wheeler stupidly refuses to understand and respect personal boundaries February 15, 2013

I said in that post that there is no way for me to call from my employer and make appointments for her. I work the 7pm to 7am overnight shift and don’t get into the building until after 6pm. Departments that have appointments to be seen are long closed by the time I get there. Now, there are occasions that I might be in the building during the daytime. Even on those occasions it would be impossible for me to make appointments for Joan. I can’t just walk into the outpatient department and sit at the receptionist’s desk, and use their phone to call Joan.

Now don’t forget those ever-present security cameras that are all over the place! Why am I not on camera doing all these things that Joan is accusing me of? And if RUTH is calling on the phone, doesn’t Joan know my voice on the phone?

TELL US THE DETAILS JOAN! – You got a phone call setting you up for an appointment? When? What date and time did you receive this call or calls? What was the nature of the phone call? What was said? For what department or doctor or service was the appointment for?

See, this is what Joan does all the time – accuses me or other people of doing “things” to her, BUT SHE NEVER TELLS US THE DETAILS — SHE NEVER PROVIDES ANY PROOF OF IT!

In less than two weeks, I will DEMAND the proof of it. I want her to put up or shutup. I am sick and tired of these endless false accusation against me. This is slander Joan and you will pay for this slander.

I have challenged Joan Wheeler multiple times on this blog to a lie detector test. She has never responded. I am willing to take a lie detector test. Are you Joan? Either put up or shut up. Take a lie detector test or shut up. I will demand that the both of us take a lie detector test when we appear in court. I DEMAND IT!

Lies, smugness, arrogance – the very reasons why Joan Wheeler’s birth family doesn’t want her around them February 19, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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The other day, February 16, I posted another reply to Joan Wheeler on The Huffington Post where she admitted on January 22 to the recent (Nov. 2012) harassment/stalking crime of contacting my employer with a false accusation. To see all her comments and all my replys to her in one spot click HERE.

Gert had checked the Huffington page today (February 19, and saw my comment had been approved for posting and we had this little exchange on facebook:

Gert McQueen:I checked this out again last night and it is a very good feeling that Huffington keeps allowing your posts, even after a month! The moderators obviously have SEEN the truth in what you have to say in response to what obviously are lies that JW has said…RIGHT ON

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace: like I said on the phone -I believe that a moderator at Huffington has left the exchange there as a classic case of what NOT to say on the internet (Joan’s comments) and that there can and will be repurcussions (my taking her to task online on Huff and filing criminal charges against her).

Gert Mcqueen: her arrogance as well as her lies just caught up with her, now she does have to pay the piper for the song and dance that she’s been playing on ALL THE FAMILY’S backs!

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace: “her arrogance” – yes – it isn’t just the lies and the harassments, the dirty deeds, it’s her f’ing smugness at times – which tells me she knows EXACTLY what she is doing. Like the time in 1995 when the judge dismissed my charges against her, and FJM and I were coming down the escalator – Joan looked up at me – dead in the eye – and SMIRKED at me. FJM went running down the escalator saying she was going to wipe that smirk off Joan’s face. The smirk left Joan’s face and she went white. She knew what she did and was scared she was going to get her ass beat. She should be thanking me for stopping FJM when I did. I saved Joan from a real ass-beating.

Okay, Ruth here – now I’m not promoting violence. I’m not a violent person. But geez, sometimes I want to just reach out give somebody a good slap right across the chops! But I recognize the consequences of my actions. It isn’t right to put your hands on another person. No matter how much you want to or fantasize or joke about it. When my friend went running down the escalator, I ran after her and stopped her. I told her something and I will post it right here:

“Let her go. She’s not worth you getting into trouble for. One day her crap is going to catch up with her.”

Well, looks like my prediction is coming to fruition. You really do reap what you sow. Joan sowed a LOT of rotten seeds. She is now reaping the harvest of what SHE did. Not Ruth, not Gert, not anybody else. It was Joan herself who CHOSE to contact my job back in 1994-95 with false accusations of computer fraud. It was Joan herself who CHOSE to write harassing lying letters to me, to elected officials. It was Joan herself who CHOSE to write lies in her book – lies that were so flagrant and in direct contradiction of actual court and police documents.

And what is the result? Joan’s lies are coming to light. Her credibilty is shot. oh, too bad. I’ve been saying for three years now, via this blog, that Joan needs to tell the TRUTH. But she keeps chosing to lie. She did it again in November 2012, by contacting my employer with a lie. Then her smug arrogance kicked in and she boasted about it on public internet. And now she pays the piper.

lol, we hear about this stuff all the time on the nightly news. A crime is committed. The police have a suspect, but can’t quite prove it. Or they might not have a suspect. One day, an inmate steps forward and tells the cops “my cellmate was bragging how he/she did this or that.” And BINGO – the crime is now linked to a suspect!

Joan never learns. Because she is so arrogant she thinks she doesn’t HAVE to learn anything. She thinks she can walk her arrogant little ass around MY rights.

She will learn someday. And the learning is not going to be very pretty. And when the ugly truth comes up and slaps her in the face, I will not be extending one ounce of sympathy – because she is bringing everything down upon herself, by herself.


We always have a choice, regardless of circumstances. Although for the life of me, I can’t figure out what “circumstance” there could have been for Joan to LIE about me, STEAL from me, call my job to get me fired, write me a letter falsely saying that my fiance got the next door neighbor pregnant (when the house was vacant). Well, as I said above, it was JOAN who chose to do those things. Nobody forced her to them. Now she reaps what she has sown.

1. gertmcqueen – February 20, 2013 [Edit]

Gert here…and what made her THINK that it was perfectly okay for her to mess with my children and my ADOPTION process? And all the other dirty deeds and words said about me? And then, NOT answer the direct question by me to her on a public forum? Her answer was to ran to Huffington and complaint about me! Typical Joan response to her VICTIMS…scream that they are harassing her! Doesn’t work any longer. Everyone is watching!

Joan Wheeler stupidly refuses to understand and respect personal boundaries February 15, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Gert just republished a blog post called “Joan Wheeler knows about personal boundaries…NOT.”  that she wrote on October 9, 2012. I just left a comment on it, and I want to post it here as a separate blog post. —

Joan is living the life that SHE chose. I don’t make her decisions for her. If her life is miserable – SHE chose it – not me.   JOAN chose to do stupid things.  JOAN chooses to say stupid things. JOAN chose to write a book. JOAN chose to write lies in that book. I have Buffalo City Court documents that prove she lied in the book. AND I have numerous letters that Joan herself wrote to me – harassing letters, lying letters – letters that JOAN chose to write.   In January 2013, despite her boasting that she refuses to “play along” – on The Huffington Post, she wrote an interesting comment. – IN November 2012 a letter was sent to my employer – falsely accusing me of computer fraud. On January 22, 2013, JOAN chose to admit on public internet on The Huffington Post that it was she who sent that letter. She also choose to add another stupid false accusation in that comment – that I am calling FROM MY EMPLOYER to “make appointments” for her. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I work the overnight shift – 7pm to 7am. By the time I get in the building, departments that would make appointments are CLOSED! And even if I were in the building in the afternoon, I cannot waltz into a department, sit a desk, and call her and make appointments. and if it was ME calling her house to make appointments – surely she knows by now how I sound on the phone? That was a spectacularly STUPID accusation there. lol. and yes, I have an actual screen shot of what she put on Huffington Post – and it is still there –  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/forbiddenfamily?action=comments

I have told you readers before and I’ll say it again, that what I put on this blog is the TRUTH and I provide PROOF or the link to the website so that you can verify that what I say IS the truth. Unlike Joan, who stupidly says I’m making impossible phone calls.

On January 4, 2013, I had a meeting in Human Resources and was told about this letter. They didn’t tell me until after the holidays, so that I could enjoy my holidays. – BUT – when the letter arrived, yes, the hospital did investigate Joan’s allegations of my commiting computer fraud. Result – I WAS FOUND INNOCENT of these latest lies and harassments of me that Joan Wheeler CHOSE to do.   These things are formerly classified AS A CRIME – “Aggravated harassment 2 – phone/telegraph/ written communication to alarm” — Police complaint made by me on January 23, 2013.

And now we go to court – let Joan tell the judge how she “refuses to play along” or she doesn’t “interfere with my life.” Or she doesn’t continuously lob false accusastions at me – and hasn’t done that for years – she wrote letters and made phone calls to my employer back in 1987, 1990, 1994, 1995. – Stupid – Joan refuses to realize that computer technology can trace every keystroke I do – and that after 40 years in the same job, I have developed a reputation of respect at my hospital – because I come in to work, do what I’m supposed to do, and don’t do what I’m not supposed to do.

Joan can’t seem to accept the fact that I am not like her – I have morals and values – which she clearly does not.

Joan CHOSE to disrespect MY personal boundary – calling my job – and now she pays for it.

1. RuthFebruary 16, 2013

Joan’s spectacularly stupid comment on Huffington started with this real stupid statement: ““I am trying to defend myself from my natural blood kin sisters who do not abide by what we all agreed upon over thrity years ago: stay out of my life.”

“thirty years ago” – that takes us back to 1983. January. hmmm. let’s see – in May 1983, I was one of Joan Wheeler’s bridesmaids. In June 1985, Joan drove me home from the hospital after my miscarriage. In Oct. 1986, I drove Joan and her new baby daughter home from the hospital. Summers 1988 and 1989 – we were at the beach. It was in 1990 AFTER Joan and her deadbeat husband stole hundreds of $$$ from me that I threw Joan out of my life, to which it was JOAN who refused to abide by MY not wanting her in MY life.

That’s right – she’s TRYING to defend herself – from her own lies! HOW THE HELL WERE WE OUT OF EACH OTHER’S LIVES 30 YEARS AGO WHEN I STILL HAVE BANK RECEIPTS THAT PROVE WE WERE IN EACH OTHER LIVES 23 YEARS AGO? And I am in the video of her wedding from May 1983? ha ha ha ha ha

People really need to get their stupid facts straight.

gert here: in 1980 I DIVORCED Joan for interferring in my parental rights and my adopting of my son, that was AFTER I went to a mediation to SOLVE our problems, Joan said go to hell…that was fine by me! She NEVER AGREED TO ANYTHING, she NEVER WENT TO MEDIATION

in 1992 at a family gathering, NOT REUNION, I saw Joan again, that’s 10 years later, at that time Joan said she LOVED ME, and I THOUGHT AND BELIVED her, Joan and me were sitting at Ruth’s kitchen table having lunch, then at a park, with other family members, but before that night was over Joan went to our father’s home with wild lies about me, saying my mental health was in danger because of my new religion, my father pushed her out the door. I continued on with my DIVORCE and didn’t see her.

In 1998, Joan sent a letter to me, by sending it to Ruth. Joan wanted to talk with me, I call and she yells at me and hangs up! Okay, I write her a letter telling her to get lost!

In 1998, Joan wrote a letter to my daughter asking her to commit a crime, that of accessing Joan’s and her daughter’s medical records so Joan could go for mal-practice. My daughter refused. I did not know about this until 2011

In 2004 or so, I wanted to end the difficulties and had asked my father to dial Joan’s phone, she talked with me for several minutes and told me SHE LOVED ME…I belived her!

then in 2009 Joan published a libelous book that is why we are speaking out against her…because she is a liar and a KIN KILLER.

Joan has gotten all manner of adoptees and friends to attempt to shut us up. A male friend created a hate blog against us in 2010

in March 2012 Joan placed a comment on my blog, we blogged about it, In April 2012, Joan got her boyfriend to create a hate blog against us

THERE NEVER WAS any agreement to stay out of each other’s lives. It has ALWAYS been Joan who WOULD NOT STAY OUT OF OUR LIVES, when we told her no to anything. It has always been Joan who lies and creates things that never were or are. Joan Wheeler needs to get OUT OF OUR LIVES and stop lying, she needs to take down all her hate blogs against us and those of her boyfriends.

3. RuthFebruary 16, 2013

at the family gathering in the park – LaSalle Park- that was July 4, 1992. MONTHS earlier, (because these things are planned in advance), my dance teacher Rusty Wood, and president of The Beledi Club and our leader of our dance troupe, Troupe Arabesque, booked Troupe Arabesque to appear as performers for The Friendship Festival, a joint festival occuring July 3 and 4 between the two sister border cities of Buffalo, NY, USA and Fort Erie, Ontario, Canada.

BY COINCIDENCE – my brother and his wife and son came to Buffalo from Arizona to visit their hometown of Buffalo. I don’t remember exactly what day they arrived, or left, BUT they were in Buffalo for the Fourth of July. When my father called me and told me they were coming, I told him that I would be dancing with my dance troupe. I suggested that it would be a nice idea for my father, my brother to come to the park to see me dance. I don’t recall exactly how or when Gert decided to come to Buffalo – but she drove to Buffalo and accompanied my father and brother to the park. In the meantime, a birthday party had already been planned for the same day, for one of my stepsister’s daughters – my stepmother, my sister-in-law and my younger brother attended the birthday party.

My father called Joan and told her that I was going to be performing at the park and that he, Gert and our brother would be at the park, and would Joan like to come. – and she did. With her husband, kids and adoptive mother.

After I and my dance troupe performed, my father stood talking to his children. He made comments about how all his children were talented in the arts. He made a statement about each and every one of us – including Kathy who was not present. When he spoke about Joan, he added that Joan needed to grow up a bit. THAT WAS ALL HE SAID.

The next day, Joan appeared at my father’s house bitching and screaming that he had insulted her, her husband, her adoptive mother. WHICH WAS NOT TRUE. My father told her three times quietly to leave his house, when she would not, he opened the door and told her GET THE FUCK OUT.

Of course, the version in Joan’s stupid book was completely different. We had PLOTTED to get Joan to the park. (sure, the arts councils of two cities in two different countries booked my dance troupe way back in December 1991 as a ploy to get Joan Wheeler to the park on July 4, 1992).  And Joan twisted everything and put words in my father’s mouth that he did not say. And had me and Gert yelling at her at the park.


Handwriting samples of Joan Wheeler and various items I received in the mail – proof positive that Joan has been interfering in my life for years. February 9, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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My goodness, you never know what’s going to happen when you go to sleep. I just woke up and I check my blog stats to see an old post of mine from Dec. 2009 getting quite the attention. I hadn’t looked at the old post for a long time and I see it is very relevant to what I said back then and am STILL saying – that it is not ME or my sisters doing the harassing – it is JOAN WHEELER, always HAS been JOAN WHEELER and I have provided much evidence to prove it.

To save people the trouble of going to a separate link, I have copied and pasted the text of the blog and put it here. But first I want to put up some graphics. – The old post that I’m redoing here isin  regards to a large manilla envelope that I received in the mail back in 1998. – the story of the envelope is in the text copied from the old blog post and put here below the graphics. I want to talk about the graphics first – and I want you people to pay attention to the writing on all the graphics.

First up – a letter that Joan wrote to my fiance and his mother via his mother’s house trying to coerce John to leave me. This was after she posed as me and called child abuse on herself and named MY fiance (now husband) John as a child abuser. She was trying to break us up. After I filed harassment charges on her Feb. 1995 – she sends this cute little number:


okay – here is a a note that came to my house – supposedly written by Joan’s then 10 year old son to my fiance John – but it is bogus – Dennis didn’t write it – Joan did.  Included in this note, is a snippet of Joan’s handwriting sample from an old letter she wrote to my sister Kathy. By the way, Dennis always referred to John as UNCLE John, but does not in this note.

dennis letter handwriting comparison

now we will look at the return address on the manila envelope that I received in 1998. It is not my handwriting – but the return address is my maiden name and the house that I lived in and still living in – my fiance’s last name is Pace – there was no one else living with us. This handwriting is not mine, nor John’s.

close up of return address

here is the postmark from that envelope – from Tonawanda. Which is a northern suburb of Buffalo. In 1998, I didn’t have a car.

envelope June 1998 postmark

and here is a sample of MY handwriting:

my handwriting

Now I want you people – those who profess to wanting the TRUTH – to carefully examine the handwriting samples provided. Joan has a peculiar habit of mixing cursive (written) letters in with her printed letters. She makes her “E”s sort of like the “E”s in the font of this blog post. – Look at the printed E that I put in my name and New in New York – I make my Es like the Greek E.  And check out the “R”s, the “D”s and the “A”s in all the samples. Pay attention to how Joan writes the “J” in her name – look closely at “Dennis’s” salutation to John – The J is first written the way Joan writes her Js – then crossed out, and another style written in.

Now before I copy and past the text from that old blog post, here is another graphic – the picture of the entire manilla envelope – it is from a person with a sick, sick mind.  From someone who positively HATES me – to the point of calling child abuse ON HERSELF, to the point of posing of her own son to harass me, to calling my job repeatedly trying to get me fired. But Joan says in January 2013 on the website The Huffington Post that she doesn’t interfere with my life. —  yeah right.

envelope June 1998 privacy

Now, here is the text from the old post – explaining this blacked out envelope. And judge for yourself – are we dealing with a sane person? I sure don’t think so.

from my old post  “evidence of harassment of me by Joan Wheeler June 1998 December 12, 2009 ” https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2009/12/12/evidence-of-harassment-of-me-by-joan-wheeler/

Here’s an envelope I recieved in the mail in June 1998. Inside was a bunch of junk from Joan Wheeler. I’ll get into that in a bit. But I want to discuss the envelope.  The envelope was addressed to me, with the same address appearing on the return address. This was Joan’s clever manipulation of the post office. So that if I would mark the envelope as return to sender, it would come right back to me. If you look at the postmark closeup, it was mailed from a post office branch in Tonawanda, NY. I do not live in Tonawanda. I live in Buffalo. Joan lives in Tonawanda. I saw this clever manipulation and the postmark, so I put a label on the main address, addressed it to Joan at her house and popped it into the mail box. You see the envelope how I got it the second time. Someone spent a lot of time and ink with a magic marker to black out the entire envelope. I have also provided a sample of my handwriting. I usually do not spell out Buffalo, New York.So I did it both ways, so you can see that I did not fill out a manila envelope and put my return address on it. And I did not go to a post office branch in  Tonawanda New York and pay the clerk 78 cents. In 1998, I did not have a car.

But this is indicitive of the sick games Joan Wheeler plays with her birth family. Call it sick, it is still abuse, emotional abuse of me, and harassment.

So inside this large manilla envelope was a bunch of garbage related to the mess that Joan involved me in the previous month. I recieved an envelope from Joan, cerified mail, addressed to me and my fiance. She had written on the bottom: important information. Inside was a letter addressed to me and my sister G.

The letter was about a guy I never met, who bumped into her ex-husband, who used to know my oldest sister, and trash-talked my oldest sister to Joan’s ex-husband. I had sent a letter to Joan to tell her that 1. just 3 years earlier, the district attorney had told both of us to not contact each other. 2. I have nothing to do with some guy I never met who bumps into Colby and trashtalks G. 3. Why was my fiance’s name on the envelope? He also was not involved with this strange man. 4. Again, why was my fiance’s name on the envelope if the letter inside was addressed to me and my sister. 5. Leave me alone.

In the meantime, my sister G. also wrote to Joan. To tell her 1. Leave her alone. 2. Ruth is not involved with some guy who used to live in the same city as her. 3. Leave her alone.

So getting back to the large blacked out envelope: Also included was another small envelope , and I’m darned if I can remember what was in it, but I know it came from that blacked out envelope – on the back of it was some of the ink that bled thru. This was addressed to Joan, with no return address, but it was mailed from a post office branch from zipcode 14217. Joan’s zipcode is 14223. These are in the north Buffalo suburbs of Kenmore/Tonawanda. I live way over on the east side by Cheektowaga. I don’t know if she was trying to send mail to herself to prove to people that I was doing it. Because I don’t live in the Ken/Ton area, and I didn’t have a car at the time. And it is not my handwriting on the envelope. Fun and games courtesy of your friendly neighborhood Teflon Dictator.

Joan Wheeler says on Huffington Post that our complaints about her book was baseless. delusional liar that she is. January 17, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Joan Wheeler said on Huffington Post to Gert that our complaints to Trafford Publications (who published her book Forbidden Family) that our complaints were baseless. I placed the following two comments there today – Thursday, January 17, 2012:

Part 1: Forbidden Family replied elsewhere regarding allegations to falsehoods in her book Forbidden Family: “Your complaints were baseless; POD publisher a scam.”

POD – Print on Demand – Trafford Publication was not a scam. They printed a manuscript that the author said was fully truthful. Their standard contract (available on their website) read that no slanderous, libelous statements would be made. No obscene language or obscenities would be in the manuscript. The author of Forbidden Family signed the contract. A complaint sent to Trafford was sent which included the pages where the author used hate speech against those living in trailer parks, those of the Polish heritage and the Catholic religion. The page numbers were given where obscene language was used. The page numbers where falsehoods about me, my character and the authors constant reporting that I have a criminal record was given to the publisher, along with court documents. Those court documents that proved that the order of protection from 1993 was for six months, not one year, as reported in the book, or that I was sentanced to probation. There were other items sent to the publisher as well.

Part 2: It was determined by the publisher that the author also violate copyright laws by pubishing MY childhood photo on the back of the book, a family portrait taken in 1955. The author was not born until 1956, is not in the photo, was not the photographer, did not get MY permission, nor the 4 other living persons in the photo, for their likeness to be used on a product intended for monetary gain for the author.

Our complaints were baseless over a libelous book? I think not. on my blog at wordpress, refuting a book of lies on a post today I posted actual court documents that prove the author committed libel. The book was pulled from publication because the author violated the legal contract that she signed. She should not now be whining about it and blaming other. The blame lies squarely on her. here are the court documents that prove that Joan Wheeler is a liar January 17, 2013 ruthsippelpace, wordpress


here are the court documents that prove that Joan Wheeler is a liar January 17, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Scroll down to the end of this post to see the documents.

ALSO see updated info on end of this post

If Joan thinks that ACTUAL BUFFALO CITY COURT DOCUMENTS ARE NOT REAL – and she thinks that they don’t show the FACTS AND TRUTH behind the LIES that she said in that book and continues to spread on the internet: JOAN WHEELER IS SERIOUSLY MENTALLY ILL AND SHOULD BE COMMITTED.

I had posted on November 30, 2011, to this blog, the actual complaint that I sent to Trafford. See: “My complaint to Trafford Publications concerning the slander and libel contained in the book Forbidden Family by Joan WheelerNovember 30, 2011″ It’s a very long document. Because there was just so much shit in that book.

I sent copies (scanned) via mail, of the documents that supported what I said. It was a hard undertaking. Because in the book, Joan lumps together three separate court cases that we were involved in. The first one was in July – August 1993 that Joan had instituted over annoyance phone calls from me. That I made after she baited me into phoning her. She had already told the phone company that I was bothering her, had them install a phone trap (pre Caller-ID days) and then sent me a letter knowing I’d call her. I did, and she said “wait a minute” and hung up. I called back, she said something like she was having problems with the phone cord, hung up. I call again, CLICK. She then reported me for bothering her. And I got hauled into court. I got slapped with a six-month order of protection dated August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. That restraining order was listed as ACD – Adjournment on Condition of Dismissal – which means that at the end of the six months, if I had not done anything, the whole matter would be dropped – dismissed. No criminal record. And so it was. Despite her saying in the book that I violated the order of protection, (I did not) and that I have a criminal record. SEE DOCUMENT #1 BELOW.  Joan also wrote to Albany NY, child abuse center on Dec. 31, 1994 and falsely told them I was placed on probation – NO – IT WAS A RESTRAINING ORDER FOR THE DURATION OF SIX MONTHS – So we see how as far back as 1994 Joan has been saying that I have a criminal record when I do not. SEE DOCUMENT #2 BELOW.

People – don’t take my word for it. Or Joan’s – read the damn actual court document!

The second time we were in court – was because of the letter writing and phone calls she was making to my job and various elected officials, impugning my reputation. And she had the gall to send me copies of those letters. And I was getting blamed for a false child abuse call that I believe Joan made herself – to get ME in trouble. In February 1995 I filed a harassment charge on her. While waiting for the court date, Joan writes to MY fiance, via his mother’s house, asking him when he was leaving me. The judge dismissed the charges, saying “sisters should get along.” SEE DOCUMENTS #3 AND 4 BELOW.

See also DOCUMENT #7 BELOW – the letter written by Joan to my fiance John via his mother’s house, asking him if he was leaving me. – The whole child abuse call, was a set-up by Joan to break me and John up. She called child abuse on herself, using my name. She said “This is Ruth Sippel and Joan and her boyfriend John Pace are having sex in front of her kids.” – Now why would I call child abuse hotline, give out MY name, AND MY FIANCE’S NAME? I was living with the guy – why would I want him in jail? Does this make sense? (by the way, we bought our house in 1996 and got married in 2002 and are still going strong).

The next time we were in court was in 1999, when a former friend of Joan’s told me that Joan had made a death threat against me. Also, in 1998, Joan sent a letter to Gert to my house in an envelope addressed to me and my fiance. This AFTER the District Attorney’s office told us both to leave each other alone. – After the judge dismissed my case in 1995, I had gone back to the DA’s and bitched about it – how could someone be writing letters to my job, call my job repeatedly, trying to get me fired over false accusations and get away with it? They sent someone to my house and Joan’s house and told us both to stop it. Since I wasn’t doing anything TO stop, I was cool with their directive. And there was peace until 1998 when Joan sent that letter, then in February 1999, she sends ME a letter telling my that my fiance got the next door neighbor pregnant – when the house was vacant. Because of that letter and the death threat – I took her to Family Court and they gave me an order of protection against Joan for the duration of one year.

When I filed the charges in 1999, I told them all the stuff that had gone on before. The clerk made some handwritten notes and then I waited while the papers were typed up. The clerk went into the CITY OF BUFFALO COURT COMPUTER SYSTEM and noted the two previous times we had been in court – in 1993 and 1995. It correctly showed that in 1993 the order of protection was ACD and that my charge against Joan in 1995 was dismissed. It showed no other court dates, as we were never in court at any other time. – this document was sent to Trafford as proof of the actual court dates between us. SEE DOCUMENT #5 BELOW.

In Joan’s book, she has it down that we went to court in the summer of 1994 – over the false child abuse call – which in reality had not taken place until December 1994. She also stated in the book that there was a three month court battle. WRONG! – In 1995, we were in court for three days! – The first was on March 17, 1995 for her arraignment. We were in front of the judge for perhaps 10-15 minutes.The case was adjourned until a date in April. When we got there, the case was adjourned for a later date in May. Again, we were in front of the judge for about 10-15 minutes. When we got to court in May, again, we were in front of the judge for about 10-15 minutes. And the judge dismissed it. – That was in 1995.

Three month court battle? well, technically, yes, were in court for about 15 minutes in March, another 15 minutes in April, and another 15 minutes in May. But hardly the way she says in the book.

Also – in the case in 1999 – I brought up that Joan was going around telling people that I had a criminal record. Which was FALSE. I showed the judge in Family Court the order of protection that was summarily dismissed ACD and a certification of completion of a course that I took in 1998 at the Buffalo Police Academy, a course in conjunction with my work as a VIABLE (Volunteer In Asissting Buffalo Law Enforcement) – to augment my work as a neighborhood activist and block club leader. To be accepted into the program, I had to be free of a criminal record and a background check was done on me by the Buffalo Police Department. And NO CRIMINAL RECORD SHOWED UP. This background check was done early 1998 – nearly 5 years after the order of protection was dismissed ACD.

In Family Court – it is not set up like a regular court – you sit at a large table. I took my certificate out of my folder and handed it to the judge. SEE DOCUMENT #6 BELOW – A SCAN OF THE CERTIFICATE FROM THE BUFFALO POLICE DEPARTMENT WITH THE DATE OF AUGUST 29, 1998.

In the book, Joan has me screaming and yelling and waving the paper around bitching that I am on the police force. – really?

So in the book, Joan takes bits and pieces of all three court cases, and combines them into one court case in the summer of 1994. She has me waving my VIABLE certificate around in 1994, when I didn’t take the course until 1998.

Copies of the court documents and my VIABLE certificate were sent to Trafford and they determined that Joan did slander and libel me with her assertions in the book that in 1994 I had a criminal record when the Buffalo Police Department determined in 1998 that I NEVER HAD A CRIMINAL RECORD.

Here are the documents: click on them to see a larger view.

DOCUMENT #1 order of protection (ACD)  handed down to Ruth on August 9, 1993 for the dates August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994.

rest order aug 9 93 - Feb 9 94

DOCUMENT #2 – Joan’s letter to Albany, NY, dated Dec. 31, 1994 wherein Joan Wheeler SLANDERS AND LIBELS ME by stating that I was sentanced to probation when I was not. – An order of protection is NOT probation. It was dismissed on February 9, 1994. I did not and still do not have any criminal record.

Joan's letter to Albany Dec 31, 94 privacy

Document #3 My summons to court April 1995. Notice that it says Ruth Sippel  vs. Joan Wheeler – my name appears first because I filed the court case against her.

summons April 19 95 privacy

DOCUMENT #4 – Joan’s summons into court for March 1995. See the note below she wrote to my fiance and his mother – trying to get them to appear in court against me. What a delusional asshole – my mother in law never met Joan and wanted to slap her face when she saw this.



my petition Fam C. 01 6-4-99  privacy

DOCUMENT #6 – My VIABLE certificate from The Buffalo Police Department Academy dated AUGUST 29, 1998.

viable cert. 8-29-98





Faulty memory? BULLSHIT! Joan does not have faulty memory. She LIED.

Her viewpoint? BULLSHIT! You cannot have a point of view that differs from actual court proceedings, actual court rulings, actual court documents, actual police documents.



UPDATE Dec 2015; as older posts are being seen I’m (Gert) updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ yet again, her ‘story’, NOW called ‘duped by adoption’. There is NOTHING in it for adoption reform, for she is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…



Joan Wheeler shows evidence of her mental illness. Delusional person that she is. January 15, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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In Gert’s latest blog post “More attacks upon birthsiblings by Joan Wheeler on Huffington Post January 2013” by gertmcqueen on January 15, 2013 

Gert relates more garbage posted by Joan on the Huffington Post. Gert copied and pasted the actual dialogue from that site. On statement from Joan is so laughable – I love the line from Joan where she says: “Your complaints were baseless; POD publisher a scam. ” – No, the complaint I sent Trafford Publishers contained ACTUAL CITY COURT DOCUMENTS that proved that what Joan said in the book was libelous, incorrect and a LIE! 

Joan can continue to believe that her book contained the truth – that is her right. But it shows EVERYONE what a mentally ill person she is. On page 330 of her book she says “Mom and I were granted an order of protection against (Ruth) in the summer of 1994. It was good for one years.”  WRONG! – 1. She relates in the book this order of protection was from a false child abuse call against her. 2. The child abuse call was actually made in Dec.1994 – so how could we have gone to court in the summer of 1994 over a call that wasn’t made yet. 3. On my blog I have posted the actual order of protection that was granted to Joan – dated on August 9, 1993. It was in effect until February 9, 1994. That’s SIX MONTHS – not one year. 4. On Dec. 31, 1994, Joan wrote to Albany, NY complaining to the State Board of Child Abuse about me – and stating that the child abuse call WAS made in 1994. She also lied to them saying that when we were in court in 1993, I was sentanced to probation. 5. on my blog I have posted that letter

 So I have provided on my blog – UNDISPUTABLE evidences – City of Buffalo court documents and a letter written by Joan Wheeler herself – that dispute what she wrote in the book. Here again is the PROOF that Joan is a liar.

This is the closeup of the dates on order of protection:

dates 01

here is the full document: click on it to see it.

rest order aug 9 93 - Feb 9 94

and here is her letter to Albany NY – notice where she says I was sentanced to probation – when in actuality an order of protection was placed against me. What delusional asshole thinks an order of protection is the same as probation? What delusional asshole writes to New York State government to lie about her sister? – JOAN WHEELER – that’s who!

Joan's letter to Albany Dec 31, 94 privacy

oh – by the way – the child abuse call? It was made on Dec. 22, 1993 – the caller identified themself as Ruth Sippel – that’s me – my maiden name. The caller said that MY fiance, John and Joan are having sex in front of Joan’s children and abusing them. Riigghht – I’m gonna call the anonymous child abuse center, leave my real name, name my own fiance and risk him going to jail. – roflmao! This was all Joan’s attempt to break me and John up. Because shortly after that – she wrote him a letter and sent it to his mother’s house! And in it she’s saying “John are you leaving Ruth?” Do you see what we’ve been putting up for 30 years? A fucking nutcase!

 Joan further says in her book that I was arrested – WRONG – that is a lie. I have never been arrested in my life. I do not have a criminal record. I never made a child abuse call about Joan. And I sent those documents to Trafford Publishers and they agreed that when Joan wrote that bullshit in her book – SHE VIOLATED THE CONTRACT SHE SIGNED WITH THEM. WHERE IT SAYS THAT LIBEL WILL BE COMMITTED. Also the guidelines for authors furnished by Trafford – and it’s right there on their website – says: “If you write that a person has a criminal record and they do not, you can be sued for libel.” 

Why don’t we hire a lawyer and sue Joan? Why should we? And what would we get out of it? She has nothing in monetary value. And we would have to pay a lawyer. And if we got to court, who would know about it? Just the people in that courtroom. 

NO, this way, by having our blogs, we are having our “trial” out in the open – on the world-wide internet – where Joan can’t lie about it. Well, of course she’s STILL lying about it – but people are seeing her lies – and seeing our documented proof. 

Joan keeps accusing us of doing this or that – but stop and ask yourselves – does she ever back up her statements with undisputable PROOF? NO, she never does. Because it is not OUR complaints that are baseless – but JOAN’S. 

WE have provided the undeniable proof to back up OUR statements. 

Joan is mentally ill. A delusional idiot. For anyone to say an order of protection was for one year and was issued in the summer of 1994 – when the ACTUAL COURT DOCUMENT has the dates of August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994 – that person is in definite need to be locked up in the psych ward.

 1. gertmcqueenJanuary 15, 2013

Gert here… Note what Joan says here “Your complaints were baseless; POD publisher a scam. ”

Joan NOW believes that POD, that’s print on demand publishers are scams! Blame everyone but herself.

No print on demand MEANS, that the publisher GETS A PRINT READY MANUSCRIPT…no NEED to READ IT, it’s ready to PRINT. The author, in this case Joan, SIGNED A CONTRACT with the publisher, Trafford Publishing…it is no scam…Joan paid ONLY FOR PRINTING no editing or reading by Trafford.

The only time these publishers READ THE BOOK is if they get a complaint AND THEY GOT IT and then they READ THE BOOK AND SAW THE EVIDENCE and then their lawyers made the decision that Joan Wheeler VIOLATED THE CONTRACT she signed with Trafford that THERE WAS NO LIBEL AND OTHER THINGS, as stated in their contract.

Ruth and I personally had email exchanged and phone calls with 3 employees of Trafford including the HEAD OFFICER. IF Joan Wheeler would get her head out of her ass and get with the program called REALITY she would not be in the messes she is in

Every communication I had with Mr Eugene Hopkins of Trafford Publishing is on our blogs. Joan herself spoke with the man but REFUSED to believe what he told her…that the book can not be reprinted due to violation of her contract with us. She was in denial for a long time…the book was only sleeping…

It wasn’t until her asshole defender BRIAN Maloney came to attack us…on another public forum and then create a blog to attack us, that they SAW the pictures of what we did to our copies of the book. and Joan went NUTS…NOW blaming it all on the publisher and that our claims are baseless.

Who the fuck is in charge of Joan Wheeler’s brain. No one is there! Go ahead and TRY to get the book republished…for no one will do it cause once they ask WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FIRST BOOK and Joan can lie to them and herself all she wants, but the fact remains…she wrote a libelous book…

Joan Wheeler falsely accuses me of something I didn’t do – YET AGAIN – this time of hacking into somebody’s Twitter account January 15, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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A couple of weeks ago, a woman who follows Joan or is followed by Joan on twitter, had her account hacked. The hacker then sent a spam to Joan Wheeler via a direct Twitter message.

Joan then says on Twitter to this woman, S.Y. – Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily to @slyoung50 Hi! Received a Direct Mess from you about a link; it was spam. I s your accounthacked? IF you get spammed by my sisters, tell me”

I blogged about this on my blog post “Joan Wheeler is starting her lying false accusations again – calling my job to make trouble January 6, 2013” 

So Saturday night and Sunday night, January 12 and 13, I am at work. 12 hour shifts. And on Monday am, January 14, I get my annual health screening, as mandated by New York State – tested for TB exposure, fit tested for respiratory isolation mask, and I get my flu shot, which hurt like the dickens. (I’m a big baby – I hate needles). I come home, feed my house guest stray cat, feed my furbaby Pippin, and go to bed. I wake up in the afternoon with a sore arm and then I find out via email that Joan is on the Huffington Post spreading false accusations about me and Gert again. In March 2011, under one of her numerous aliases, HalfOrphan56, she posted some nasty shit lies about my family – which was against the forum’s rules. And she got kicked off. Within six months, she joined Huff Post again, under another screen name, Forbidden Family. We have had no problem with her for a year and a half over there. She posts her crap about her anti-adoption stuff. Doesn’t interest me – big yawn. BUT Joan has been told via this blog, Gert’s blog, various other internet forums – that we don’t give a dam about her anti-adoption rants – but when she starts talking about us and our family, spreading her stupid lies about us and our family – we will step in.

She never learns. So Gert and her got into an exchange on Huff Post. I will let Gert blog about that. I want to talk about Twitter – because S.Y.’s twitter account was hacked again.

So Monday afternoon, I’m on my first cup of coffee – I am not coherent until I’ve TWO cups of coffee. And I’m reading Gert’s email about the Huff Post. And I’m wondering “what the hell is all this shit again?” Then I see another email from Gert and she says she received a Twitter direct message from S.Y., the lady whose account was hacked into two weeks ago. It contained a link and Gert clicked on it, but couldn’t figure out what it was all about. Gert sent me the link. So I clicked on the link. I get a Twitter sign-on page. I immediately shut it down. Go to my favorites folder, and click on twitter. I get my profile page, as I stay signed on. So – the link was a phishing scam. They wanted me to enter my member name and password.

So I call Gert. And she’s asking me if I have gone to Twitter. No, I just woke up and am on my first cup of coffee. Gert tells me to go and look at Joan’s twitter page because Joan is accusing me of hacking into S.Y.’s account. So we hang up and I go over there – and sure enough – there’s Joan accusing me of using S.Y.’s account to send direct messages to her.

She wrote:

1. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

@slyoung50 Received DM from you, can’t message you as you aren’t following me.Please email me about profile warning: wheejm17@hotmail.com

2. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

@slyoung50 Hi, ruth sippel pace is my n-sister harrassing me. She has no interest in our cause, only stalking me. Others complained, too.

First, I am not bothering anybody – I want to know WHO is complaining about me – I have done nothing wrong. Second – how dare Joan automatically link MY name with this woman’s hacking problem? WHERE IS THE PROOF?

I left several messages on twitter saying that Joan is falsely accusing me of shit again- WITH NO PROOF.  And yeah – THIS time I sent them to various adoption people – because I want them to know what is going on. I hadn’t mass contacted anyone in the past and they dam well know it.

Back in 1994, Joan’s hospital bill got mixed up with another patient with a similar name – and she right away accused me of going into hospital computers and doing it. The hospital investigated the complaint, and told her I was innocent. she refused to accept that and called the hospital almost daily for six months complaining about me. Trying to get me fired!

On November 24, 2012, another letter was sent to the hospital accusing me of computer fraud again. I had a meeting with administration on January 4, 2013 and they told me about it and they said they checked into it and saw that I had done nothing. Like I needed them to tell me what I already know – that I hadn’t done what Joan accused me of doing.

A few weeks ago – a complaint was sent to Twitter about Gert – my, my, my – Joan is just too damn busy for her own good! All these accusations.  – WITHOUT A SHRED OF EVIDENCE TO BACK UP HER ACCUSATIONS.  – But hey – she doesn’t NEED evidence – she’s a smart cookie – she already KNOWS what bad things we have done. And others. And she loves to “report” her stupid false accusations – because she likes to make trouble. In 1999, I received a letter from her telling me that my then-fiance (now husband) got the next door neighbor pregnant. – and the house was vacant! Good trick there you stupid cow!

So when I saw the latest LYING FALSE ACCUSATION of me – I contacted S.Y. – in a private non-twitter email exchange, I told her what was happening. And I assured her that I did not hack into her account. She told me she was going to take care of the problem.

Now – a twitter tutorial for those too stupid to understand:

Twitter Newsfeed: When you follow someone, you get to see tweets from those they follow and those who follow them. They show up on your twitter newsfeed. This is NOT called stalking – that is how twitter works! And surprise! If you see a tweet from someone who has NOT blocked you – you can tweet to them! That also is not called stalking – it is called “communicating on a social media.” If that person doesn’t want you to follow them or tweet to them – they can block you. I routinely get “followers” that I don’t know, not interested in, am disgusted by. I simply block them. I don’t right away go off the deep end and falsely accuse someone of stalking and hacking me. Get a grip people, especially you – you  stupid cow in Tonawanda.

Hacking – my account was hacked a few months ago – someone advised me to change my password and check any recent apps that I used on twitter. So I changed my password, and deleted a recent app (I can’t even remember what it was). Problem solved. Again, I didn’t right away go off the deep end and falsely accuse someone of stalking and hacking me.

Seeing posts from someone who has blocked you: if you block someone and your posts are showing up on the newsfeed of people that are followed/is following you and that person follows/is followed by me, I can see your posts. Again, this how TWITTER works – it’s not RUTH’S doing.

So a very nice lady was victimized twice – once by an unknown hacker – and once by Joan Wheeler – S.Y. got dragged into Joan’s favorite drama – falsely accusing Ruth of doing something she didn’t do.


Joan Wheeler is starting her lying false accusations again – calling my job to make trouble January 6, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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First, let’s take a look at a couple of tweets I found – from Joan herself:

Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily to @slyoung50 Hi! Received a Direct Mess from you about a link; it was spam. I s your accounthacked? IF you get spammed by my sisters, tell me

Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily:  If anyone receives any tweets from my sisters, please let me know. They love to cause troublefor me. I am not in their lives at all.

So I answered:

@ruthsippelpace riiight- so why did she call my job after Thanksgiving false accusing me of computer fraud on my job same shit she did in 95

Ruth Pace‏@ruthsippelpace @ruthsippelpace said I using BGH computers to visit Amazon – she don’t work there in the middle of the night – how does she know what I do

Ruth Pace‏@ruthsippelpace @ruthsippelpace Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily is a liar and a troublemaker – called my job AGAIN to make trouble –   Ruth Pace‏@ruthsippelpace @ruthsippelpace Joan Wheeler called my job in 1995 almost everyday for months to get me fired – she’s at it again. lying troublemaker   Ruth Pace‏@ruthsippelpace @ruthsippelpace hospital adminstrators investigated Joan’s latest false accusation – found me innocent AGAIN give it up asshole Joan

So what is going on? I will tell you: Back in December 2009 when I first started this blog, Joan was having conniption fits because I was daring to stand up to her bullying lies contained her trash book. I had at the time, a desktop computer, a Dell with Windows 2000 on it. I bought it in 2006 from a used computer store. In September 2009, I purchased an Acer Aspire One notebook – because I do a lot of typing, – I write a lot, and listen to music. I have over 850 albums/cds of music digitized.

When I used to take the bus to work, I would get to work 45 minutes before my start time. So I had time to go to the medical library and use the complimentary PUBLIC computers there. We can access the internet, play games on Pogo.com, shop, do anything. Prior to getting my own home computer, I used those computers to type out the bi-monthly newsletters for my Star Trek group, save it to disk and have Michelle, our group’s organizer print them out at her house. I had to do most of the typing and help with the printing and collating and stapling because she has MS. When I got my own computer, I didn’t have to rely on the computers in the medical library anymore. And the little Acer was perfect for me – I would get to work early and work on the newsletter, or on my lunch break, and listen to my music too! And yes, during my OFF WORK hours I accessed the internet. and by the way – this is all sanctioned by my employer.

So what does Joan do? She’s sees me on the internet in the middle of the night on Facebook and right away ASSUMES that I am using my employer’s computers for fooling around. WRONG.  I take my lunchbreak at 2am. And I wrote about this nonsense  back in 2009! Joan even said on her website that I am “using hospital computers to access websites that I shouldn’t be going on.” – Oh? Does Joan work at my company? Does she make the rules there? What an ass. NO, idiot, I was on MY  PERSONAL MINI LAPTOP! I blogged about it in this post: defamation of character December 11, 2009
This wasn’t the first time Joan had accused me of computer fraud. Back in 1994 – her hospital bill got mixed up with someone else who had a similar name. She right away calls my job to say that I did it. They traced it down to a typo that was made at 4pm. – I work the night shift – I am not in the building at 4 in the afternoon. And my employer  knew I didn’t do it. But Joan wasn’t going to have it. She just KNEW I did it. Never mind that my employers themselves explained to Joan that I didn’t do, couldn’t do it. The computers we had in 1994 were DOS computers. All employees had a signon name and a password, same as today. In my job function as nurses aide, I signed onto the computer, and the ONLY PROGRAM THAT I HAD ACCESS to was to type in a patient’s temperature and blood pressure. In addition: THE COMPUTERS AT THE NURSE’S STATION WERE NOT EVEN HOOKED UP TO THE BILLING COMPUTERS! The billing computers were in a locked office – where I could not get to. HOSPITAL SECURITY CAMERAS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THE COMPUTER SECURTIY SYSTEM, NOW, JUST LIKE IN 1994 CAN TRACE EVERY KEYSTROKE YOU DO.

I was investigated in 1994. AND FOUND INNOCENT. But as I said, Joan wasn’t going to have it. She called my job nearly every day for six months trying to get me fired. She also wrote a three page letter to the director of patient finances – this letter was scanned and posted on this blog in this post: Guessing Game Time – What year did that child abuse call against Joan Wheeler really occur? 1993? 1994? 1995? 1996? Joan has reported all 4 years! -why can’t she make up her mind? November 19, 2010 – so go and read an actual letter that Joan Wheeler wrote to my employer in 1995 to see her exact words – which are a bunch of harassing lies – AND she is telling this guy – a stranger to me – personal and medical information about me. Which has what to do with an accusation of computer fraud?

I also blogged about the whole incident in this post: Ruining someone’s personal and professional reputation December 12, 2009

So last week, January 4, I had a meeting with adminstration – someone wrote a letter to my employee back in November 2012, just after Thanksgiving, which was on Nov. 22, saying that I was “using hospital computers to access websites that I shouldn’t be going on.” – the exact same words Joan said back in 2009. And again, using their computer security systems, they investigated me and — FOUND ME INNOCENT!

Well, Joan also said that I was going to Amazon.com – SPECIFICALLY NAMED AMAZON.COM. I do have an account at amazon, and an amazon store card – just last week I placed an order – I ordered Kevin Sorbo’s book “True Strength” and the second season of Star Trek the Next Generation dvd set. I never did any online banking or shopping prior to having my own computer – because using “shared” computers is a security risk.

But what is interesting about specifically naming Amazon – it was just at that time, we found an adoptee puppet of Joan’s – Heather Holmes of the UK had put out a second book review of Joan’s lying book. Gert answered that book review, as was her right, with a rebuttal review. And she shared her review on twitter, which is also her right. Gert was following some adoption sites, as was her right, and her post was retweeted by someone and the tweet showed up on Heather’s newsfeed. Heather immediately got whacked out of shape and accused us of stalking her. I tell the story on these two blog posts of November 23 and 24. — The internet, social media and Twitter newsfeed and people getting all bent out of shape over nothing. geez! November 23, 2012  and People who put out too much personal information on the public internet and then bitch when people see it – dey be LOSERS!

So IMMEDIATELY AFTER I BLOGGED THESE POSTS, Joan fires off a letter to my employee accusing me of computer fraud. My employer takes this stuff seriously, so they investigated it. AND FOUND ME INNOCENT ONCE AGAIN. Now, I was on my Yule vacation from December 11 to December 28. I was not told about this stuff until January 2 when the meeting was set up. Why? Because I was told they wanted me to enjoy my holiday. At the meeting, I was not accused. I was informed as to what was going on. They said that I was investigated and found innocent. So my employer has my back. They know damn well I am innocent. And they know that someone is fucking with me and they will know that that person is a liar, a troublemaker and an asshole.

And apparently last October, she took in a tenant, who promptly moved out a week later! I received a private message from him telling me this and that Joan is a LIAR – AND MENTALLY DERANGED. His initials are D.K. I do not this person. Never met him. Don’t know how he got my name – obviously from Joan who keeps spreading shit lies about me. But says on twtter last night that she is not in my life.



breaking news and a warning to authorites about Joan Wheeler, who I believe is a menace to society August 1, 2012  and  New whine by Joan Wheeler – and how she shifts the blame off herself onto other people. September 15, 2010

Gert’s tweets about this latest attack on us:

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen

@slyoung50 Hi! Received a Direct Mess from you about a link; it was spam. Is your account hacked? IF you get spammed by my sisters, tell me

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace good question!! she must NEED ATTENTION again, she wants us out of her life, she needs to take DOWN the hate blogs

27mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace yes joan wheeler is at it again, making false statements against us, she is in our lives with her/boyfriend’s blogs

31mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @gertmcqueen @slyoung50 don’t know what joan wheeler thinks, she most certainly IS IN OUR LIVES she has hate blogs against us

32mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen@gertmcqueen @slyoung50 this from joanwheeler forbiddenfamily, we sisters are not doing anything, joan is paranoid and starting trouble

33mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen If anyone receives any tweets from my sisters, please let me know. They love to cause trouble for me. I am not in their lives at all.

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace Joan does NOTHING in the open, she only operates under falsehoods & uses others to attack us

22mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace this is ALL on my blog for the entire world to see, joan & brian need to get a f…ing life and stay out of ours

23mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace so joan &brian insult, harass, accuse us AGAIN over our negative reviews on amazon uk and heatherUK and them plot against us

24mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace joan & brain maloney &heatherUK are pissed cause we wrote a negative review, heatherUK accussed me of stalking her here

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace joan wheeler wrote to my daughter asking her to commit crime in 1998, letter is on my blog, ALL evidence is on our blogs

16mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace joan believes everyone is as stupid as she is, WHY is joan writing to anyone’s job? because joan is a trouble maker

20mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen  @ruthsippelpace joan wheeler forbiddenfamily is a fool has a long history of this kind of shit & her hencemen are fools to believe her

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @slyoung50 if you NEVER got a spam from me, better tell forbiddenfamily joan wheeler to take a hike, she is trouble I just followed @slyoung50 ..NEVER did before, but looks like if I’m accused of something better follow the trail

comment by Gert
Submitted on 2013/01/06 at 10:02 am

Joan really must have gotten off her depression and is now on her manic side! Right after Joan writes to Ruth’s employer, she also placed a comment, without her name of course, on Brian’s blog and he answered it, they are a tag team you know, see it here

Brian Maloney, of Williamsville NY, continues his hate speech against the birthsiblings of Joan Wheeler!
by gertmcqueen on December 29, 2012

I will try to get the above as a link… done…see link…

gertmcqueen – January 6, 2013

I just re-read these letters of Joan’s to Ruth’s employer years ago, I had forgotten how disgusting there were…and it amazes me that people DON’T see how fucking sick she is…Brian Maloney are you listening? All these adoptees hate us birth siblings but NONE of them are willing to look at the documented evidences of Joan Wheeler’s actions, in print. And the way that Joan describes these things in that dead book are totally contradictory to what is in the evidence…Joan Wheeler is a sick sick person.

3. RuthJanuary 6, 2013

here we see what goes in Joan’s little bitty mind: as always – whenever something happens – it’s her birth sisters’ fault.  She is ALWAYS accusing us of something. This woman, SLYoung gets her account hacked. Joan right away accuses US of doing it.

This is what Joan has done all her life – blame other people for everything. Especially Ruth. Joan gets a cold? Ruth must have sneezed and gave it to her. Never mind that Ruth is nowhere near her. Joan gets a flat tire on the New York State Thruway? Why, that sly little devil Ruth must have known Joan was coming on that particular stretch of road, drove over there, and put broken glass there. SHUT YOUR MOUTH JOAN AND GROW THE HELL UP. HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW? YOU’RE GONNA BE 57 YEARS OLD TOMORROW? WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL ACTING LIKE A FRIGGIN 10 YEAR OLD?

4. RuthJanuary 6, 2013

what was it that Joan wrote on twitter to S.L.Y.? – “Received a Direct Mess from you about a link..” Direct Mess? Direct MESS? oh you got that right Missy Joanie – you made a damn mess of it – opened your stupid mouth and started some shit. GROW UP.

5. kimberlyhardingJanuary 6, 2013

This is just such an amazing scenario, it’s hard to believe.

It is hard to believe Kim – but this is what this little brat has been doing for years! what asshole keeps calling someone’s job with the same stupid false accusation and sees that the worker is STILL working there? And we have the proof of the twitter episode right there – everything was copied and pasted right off Joan’s own twitter profile! ok, my little stories about her getting a cold or a flat tire being my fault was a bit of playful exagerattion – but I tell you the truth when I say that Joan blames ME for just about everything bad in her life. Or if not me, my other sisters, our dad, our family, our friends, her ex-friends, her ex-landlady, her ex-husband, and on and on and on. It’s ALWAYS the fault of someone else! And her mouth just kees on running like the Energizer Bunny! case in point: In November 2009 I called her up to tell her a family member died. She didn’t like the fact that my father gave me her phone number. So she starts yelling at me on the phone – screaming obscenities at me. I drive to dad’s house – she had called him and did the same to him. When I got home, there was a message from Town of Tonawanda police that Ruth, Gert and Kathy are not call Joan again. um, it was RUTH who called, not Gert, nor Kathy. Gert called the police to tell them this, and they said, “don’t worry about it, we know all about her (Joan)” – so even the police know what an ass Joan is.

7. RuthJanuary 6, 2013

oh I found that S. Young – she lives in Texas. She’s got a kind face. She was forced to give up her child for adoption in 1967, a coerced young girl. So that’s how Joan latched onto her – Joan makes a big show how she feels sorry for unwed teens forced to give up thier kids to adoption. But I guess S.Y. sees what a roitten person Joan is now. Joan is just as bad as those who coerced her back in 1967 – these anti-adoptees don’t care about S’s feelings – they see her and those like her as pawns to use in their campaing against adoption – Joan USED this person in an attack on us – Joan has no shame. – no hacking needed – S.Y. put all this stuff on public internet.

8. Nancy – January 7, 2013

Wow really? Is this the same person who made enough trouble in the past years? I thought it was all over and done, Iam so sorry Ruth, Gert for the harrsing and taunting you two ladies had to go through. Sometimes it’s hard for people to understand the meaning of ” Stop” Leave us alone” Leave me alone!! Or just STOP!! Sometimes they dont understand their bounderies. So Iam assuming this is what she is not understanding with you. So my advise is since you was always found inocent with your employers as well the lies were discovered by this women. Change your feelings towards stupidity. By not replying nor posting reply’s back to her. Because what is happening here, is she is feeding off the attention. She is an attention whore..Pardon the word, but this is what I call rampaged attention whore!! Not the type to find men and climb with them, but women who are bored with their lives as well have nothing to do with it. So, they find a thrill seeker for spauning like trout or samon in cold water. Trouble makers. Let them find somewhere else to haunt. I promise if you just let her continue to fake her crap, and post what ever lies she posts. People will ignore her and she will basically find somewhere and someone else to haunt. Sorry ladies, she would just be wasting my time. And my time is tooo presious. Good Luck Head Hunting!! Love ya Madamstar )O(

I posted a new post: Exactly what is the purpose of our blogs against Joan Wheeler – find out here January 7, 2013  which addresses the questions Nancy has raised.

 10. RuthJanuary 7, 2013

Last night, Gert went into that lying book and quoted a few sentances where Joan discusses her first attempt in accusing me of computer fraud. She accused me, they investigated, found me innocent, but SHE WOULD NOT ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I WAS INNOCENT! SHE DID NOT WANT TO ACCEPT THE REALITY THAT RUTH DID NOT MESS UP HER BILL! Gert tweeted these actual sentances from the book:

gert mcqueen‏@gertmcqueen – pg332/333 of joan wheeler’s hate book she details ‘her story’ of how she believed it was Ruth who was getting into her medical records

gert mcqueen‏@gertmcqueen quoting Joan ‘I called the head of the billing dept & told him everything that had been going on….’

gert mcqueen‏@gertmcqueen quoting Joan ‘letter arrived saying error was a computer glitch & my sister wasn’t involved, I wasn’t convinced’

gert mcqueen‏@gertmcqueen quoting Joan ‘I called the billing department where (Ruth) worked’ lots of drama then ‘called for an investigation to put a stop to it’

bottom line: Joan’s calling my job was not for any kind of concern of me accessing medical records or abusing hospital computers – her motive for calling my job is retaliation – pure and simple hatred and troublemaking. Will she never grow up?

The Flame Against Shame – dedicated to Brian Maloney and Joan Wheeler December 7, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life.
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Flame against Shame

A dear friend of mine wrote this yesterday and with her permission, I am sharing it:

“Never beat yourself down for making mistakes. While you should be rewarding yourself for those mistakes, why? Because you learn to grow and learn from those mistakes. If not so, then you would never be here teaching others. Im one to be the first to apologize and ask forgiveness for my mistakes. Then I reward myself with a quote on my fridge, saying., “Hello I’m such a Human”!.”

The other day, Joan’s puppet Brian said this to me and Gert: “If you were not trying to hide something you might be ashamed of, you would not be trying so hard to discredit what was said.”

First, the beginning of his statement does not correlate with the second part of what he said. – When I am writing about “discrediting” Joan – what I am doing is CORRECTING THE LIES SHE HAS SAID ABOUT ME. For example – in her book and on the internet Joan says that I have a criminal record – NO I DO NOT. Joan says that I have been arrested – I have never been arrested in my life. Joan LIES about me in the book. She says that I went to a fertility clinic – NO I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO A FERTILITY CLINIC. And even I had – where does she have the right to put that in her book?  Joan LIES in her book that in a court case in 1994 her children were on the stand testifying against me – THIS NEVER HAPPENED. Joan LIES in her book that she never harassed me – I have scanned and posted to my blog actual letters that Joan wrote to my fiance and his mother – trashing me – I have scanned and posted to my blog actual letters from Joan to me and Gert wherein she is harassing me after the Erie County District Attorney told her to leave me alone. I have scanned and posted to this blog an actual letter that Joan wrote to my employer falsely accusing me of computer fraud and in this letter to a complete stranger to me – she is giving this man personal details of my health and my private life. Brian- you need to do your homework and SEE WHAT YOUR LITTLE GOODY-TWO-SHOES FRIEND HAS DONE. These documents were sent to Trafford Publishing and this is why the book is dead.

Brian also says: You may very well have your own story to tell, and that may differ from Joan’s. Each person has their own version of how things happened, and each person has the right to free speech.

Well, now let’s take his last sentance first: “each person has the right to free speech.” – so Brian, if each person has the right to free speech, and I therefore have the right to free speech, as you just said, then why are you bitching about what I say here? You just put your foot in your mouth sir.

Brian says: ” Each person has their own version of how things happened,” – Maybe – HOWEVER – I AM RELYING ON ACTUAL CITY OF BUFFALO COURT DOCUMENTS THAT PROVE THAT JOAN’S VERSON OF HOW THINGS HAPPENED IS A LIE. And I don’t need to have a “different version” to know THAT I HAVE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED NOR DO I HAVE A CRIMINAL RECORD. Facts are facts and those are the facts.

These documents have been on this blog for almost three years. Joan has had ample time to examine those documents and refresh her faulty memory and come forth WITH THE TRUTH.

Now as to the accusation that I am hiding something that I might be ashamed of – oh, so now this Reiki healer is stooping to emotional blackmail and threats, just as Joan has done in the past. In her book and on her cyberbullying page Joan threatened us with “exposing secrets” that we don’t want to come out. I have listed here below,in chronological order, SEVEN BLOG POSTS dating from January 3, 2010 to April 4, 2012, where we tell Joan to stop her emotional blackmail – we have nothing to hide and will not be held hostage to Joan’s threats. In fact, here is an additional comment that I wrote on September 21, 2010 in the post numbered 3 below:   I AM A HUMAN BEING WITH MY OWN RIGHTS AND DIGNITIES AND I REFUSE TO BE DICTATED TO BY JOAN WHEELER.   Joan hinted at “secrets” in her book. Secrets that her sister have and are afraid of having put out – we said it once before on this blog and here it is again: WHATEVER SECRETS YOU THINK YOU CAN HOLD HOSTAGE OVER OUR HEADS SPEAK THEM NOW – FOR WE WILL NOT BE HELD FOR EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL BY YOU JOAN! WE WILL NOT OBEY YOU, PROPERLY OR IMPROPERLY.

Now as to being ASHAMED of anything I did in the past: No sir, I am not ashamed of anything I ever did. And Brian had also tried to blackmail me with something I did in the past. But like the fool that he is, he stooped to listening to 30 year old GOSSIP from Joan about a young woman named Shadya. I posted all about her in my post of July 7, 2012.  This post contains scans of a card that I received from Shadya in 1985, putting to rest any filthy gossip about her and me. Grow up gossipers.

To sum up: I met Shadya in 1977, when she was dating the brother of my then husband Abdo. We had gone on a picnic. I thought she was very nice. I did not see for about a month, and one night after Abdo left the house to go to a birthday party and I was home alone, getting ready to go to work, I received a prank phone call. I knew I heard the voice before, but could not place it. But a couple of months later, I talked to Shadya, and recognized her voice. It was she who had made the prank call. She did other things, trying to break me and Abdo up. From 1978 to 1983, yes, Shadya and I did not get along. We had arguments, and one knock-down brawl in September 1979.- She laid hands on me first – so I defended myself. I am not proud of how I behaved, but I am not ASHAMED – there is a difference. I acted badly to this woman. And so did she act badly to me. In 1984, I had a talk with her and I apologized to her. I think I could have handled the situation better than the way I did in 1977, but hey – as my friend said “Never beat yourself down for making mistakes. While you should be rewarding yourself for those mistakes, why? Because you learn to grow and learn from those mistakes.” – Shadya and I forgave each other and in 1985, when I was in the hospital after miscarrying my son, Shadya sent me a card, and when I got home, she called me up and offered to cook several dinners and send them over to me in tupperwares. Shadya no longer lives in Western New York. I know where she lives, and I will NOT tell anyone where she lives. She lives in another state. She is married again. A couple of years ago, on her 50th birthday, we communciated together via facebook. She is doing very well. I am happy for her. She was happy for me that John and I got married, as she had met John in the late 80’s.

So much for Brian trying to get me to feel “ashamed” for what I “did” to an Arab lady whose name begins with an S – as he tried to throw in my face back in July 2012. Oh – by the way, she wasn’t Arab – she was born in the United States to a Puerto Rican woman and an Indonesian/Yemeni man. GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT BEFORE YOU SPREAD GOSSIP JOAN AND REPEAT IT BRIAN!

Shame is a toxic emotion and I do not deal in that. I live my life the way I see fit. I AM a human being who makes mistakes. And from time to time, have made mistakes and mis-quotes on my blog, and when I find them, I don’t just delete and “fix” the post – I OWN UP TO MY MISTAKES – I TELL MY BLOG READERS WHAT I SAID WRONG AND GO ON – NO SHAME INVOLVED. Just as I said above: I have posted actual court documents and even handwritten letters – written by Joan Wheeler herself – that prove that “her side” of the story is a faulty memory at best, or out and out LIES at worst. Joan has had ample time to review those documents and correct her lies and “mistakes.”

I forgave Shadya for what she did to me back in the late 70’s – early 80’s. And I have forgiven myself. Because in 1977 – I was only 25 years old – I am more than twice that age now – and have learned much.


Now Brian – go back and read these posts where we have already addressed the issue of supposedly having little secrets and deeds that we want hidden. As usual, Brian – you are a couple of years late in your research and threats. Grow up little man. REAL men, GROWN-UP men, don’t listen to, repeat, nor believe baseless 30 year old GOSSIP! Get with the times man! This is 2012, not 1983. And we have already dealt with the issues of “little dirty secrets” in these old, posts:

1. attention adopion reformers part 2 January 3, 2010

2. Open letter to and about Joan Wheeler, from her eldest birth sister Gert McQueen January 7, 2010

3. Adoptee’s tantrums nothing special – Childhood bipolar disorder article by child psychologist John Rosemund, September 14, 2010 September 21, 2010

4. Facts are Stubborn Things Part 1 November 10, 2010

5.What is the REAL reason behind Joan Wheeler’s rant on the Huffington Post? March 9, 2011

6. Evidence that Joan Wheeler has violated the Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers March 10, 2011

7.The latest “wisdom” from Joan Wheeler, um, well, actually, she’s trying to show that she has some widsom April 14, 2012


kimberlyhardingDecember 7, 2012

You are so correct- shame is a toxic emotion!!  Keep putting your story out there. It needs to be heard! I love what your friend says about mistakes – mistakes are truly a means for transformation. Thank youl.

3. gertmcqueenDecember 7, 2012[Edit]

Gert here:

Thank you Kim for your insights!


This is correct, Joan has NEVER admitted ANY of her dirty deeds/words…she is always right/correct, everyone else is the problem/trouble-maker, etc.

I did in 1992 FORGIVE her for events she did to me in 82, BUT within 9 hours of seeing me that day, she started more crap; that told me alot; she is EVIL, stay away. Then I heard more of what she did to Kathy and Ruth and somehow we all got along without Joan in our lives. About 8 or 9 years ago, when Dad was ill, I WANTED to put all this behind and I called Joan, she tolded me she LOVED me. No she didn’t cause she had every intention of using that phone conversation for another ‘harassment’ to her, by me…but I didn’t know at the time.

When Joan published in nov 2009, that libelous evil hatred of a book against every member of two families, birth and adopted, she did the worst…character asassination of FAMILY. Not only did she violated, the DIVORCE I had with her and DIDN’T stay away, she continued lying and fabricating in the book. I found out only in 2011 MORE dirty deeds she did to family including asking my daughter to commit a crime for her!

Joan, by writing/publishing that piece of garbage, VIOLATED the peace between every member of our family and NOW she has us TILL DEATH DO WE PART. and that is VOW we will keep…

I was willing many years ago to forgive Joan, attempted to 3 times, but this will never be forgiven, nor forgotten…kin-killing is a crime in many places! Joan is a kin-killer and a soul-killer and she has to live with that reputation! She wanted to tell her story, the way she saw it, fine, NOW she can’t get out of it…TILL DEATH DO WE PART

I am not ashamed of anything in my life, some regrets, but not shame! I have already written/spoken about what Joan thinks she HAS ON ME…silly little sleasy ass…and gossiper that she is…to Brian Maloney who obviously relishes hearing gossip and loves to taunt women! Asshole.

PS while typing I noticed that the word ‘assination’ could be the asassination of an ass…does that apply here…if Joan is an ass…then we are doing ass-ination!

Why must Joan Wheeler continue to tell lies about her birth family? September 7, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In her latest blogpost, “Joan Wheeler continues to believe that adoption is an evil that must be stamped out, even as she lies, some more, about the birth family. Gert says:  “So Joan Wheeler will continue on spreading her untruths anywhere she can…but…the birth siblings will also be right there, EXPOSING HER. At some point in time those that are hanging on to her coat tails will ‘let go’ because Joan Wheeler’s reputation is CATCHING UP WITH HER.”

Her latest puppet, who is harassing us at Joan’s request (so she doesn’t get her hands dirty) accused us of “ruining Joan’s reputation.” – not so. We are merely “exposing” her lies.

CNN’s Anderson Cooper’s tagline is “keeping them honest.” Exposing lies of politicians and crooked charities. 60 Minutes has a long history of doing the same thing. What makes Joan so special that HER lies don’t get exposed? Does Joan Wheeler have some sort of special immunity that her lies don’t get exposed? If Joan Wheeler has the freedom of speech to tell a lie in a book and on the internet, then we have the right to expose that lie and replace it with the truth. Especially when that lie is about us and how we lived when we were children. She was born in  January 1956, lived with my uncle on Fox St. in Buffalo and NEVER in our apartment on Smith St. She was given to the Wheelers in April 1956. Shortly after that, the Wheelers moved to a nice suburb of Buffalo.

So why is she writing about where WE lived in the 1950’s and 1960’s. Her excuse once was that she wrote about us only when our lives intersected with hers. What happened in OUR lives betweeen 1956 and 1974 (the year we were reunited with her) HAS NEVER INTERSECTED WITH HER LIFE AND SHE HAS NO BUSINESS WRITING ABOUT IT. Doesn’t matter that she used one of her screen names, because she uses Legitimate Bastard, 1Adoptee, Half Orpan56, all the time and leaves clues as to who she is and who we are. Especially when she signs her real name, or “Joan Wheeler, born as Doris Sippel”

We have said before and it should be said again: We have no objection to her fighting her cause about adoption reform. All she has to do is refrain from telling lies about our childhood, and our family. She needs to stop writing lies about the circumstance of her adoption. MY FATHER WAS NOT COERCED INTO GIVING HER FOR ADOPTION! She needs to stop saying that no one came forth to help my father keep her. IT WAS NOT POSSIBLE FOR HIM TO KEEP HER! Again – there were no day-care centers in 1956. Welfare did not exist as it does now. My father had to work. His parents were elderly, could not take care of 5 little kids, one of them being an infant. My mother’s siblings also could not take her in. My father was approached by my aunt, who was childhood friends with the sister of the man who adopted Joan. My father THEN consulted his parish priest. HE WAS NOT COERCED AT MY MOTHER’S WAKE. The final adoption papers were signed in January 1957. My father had ample time to reconsider his decision. He did not. He stuck to his original decision. This is something that Joan Wheeler must accept and live with. So he was greiving when he made his initial decision -the fact remains: HE HAD TEN MORE MONTHS TO RECONSIDER THAT DECISION. AND HE STUCK WITH HIS FIRST DECISION – THAT BEING THAT THE WHEELER’S WOULD BE JOAN’S PARENTS.

ALSO – my father did have a GED for high school. In the early 50’s he went to night school to study drafting, reading blueprints, etc. In 1955 he became employed by the City of Buffalo as Junior Civil Engineer in the Street Paving and Design Department, where he worked until his retirement in 1988. And he made fairly good money.

Joan Wheeler is constantly saying that our family was “poor” and we lived in a run-down neighborhood. Not so. We did live in a back apartment. So? Some houses are constructed up and down. Front and back. Actually, our apartment was the back AND the whole second floor! Our landlord, Mr. Johnson and his wife had the small one bedroom apartment downstairs in the front.

In the 1950’s and 1960’s, the nieghborhood that we lived in, Smith St. near William St. was vibrant. All along William St. was a bustling shopping district. With a large city playground nearby. There were 2 gas stations, a post office, 3 drug stores, several mom + pop delis, a couple of small variety stores, a liquor store, a butcher store, a large supermarket, a Deco restaurant, and we lived about a mile from Central Terminal, the main hub of railroad passenger and freight service. We also lived a couple of miles from the Broadway/Fillmore shopping district that had banks, major shops and stores.

By the 1970’s, yes, the area began to deteriorate. After we were reunited with Joan in 1974, she went to our old neighborhood (we moved in 1965 after my father bought a house). What Joan saw was our old nieghorhood slowly decaying. It’s called “urban blight” and Buffalo is not the only city this happens to. What she saw in the 70’s was NOT what we saw when we lived there. By the 90’s, however, community re-development took charge. Our playground was demolished and a beautiful senior apartment complex arose. Today, there are vast fields where a lot of Buffalo’s oldest housing stock has been demolished. (yes, my childhood home too). These were structures built in the mid-to-late 1800’s. – Joan really should do her homework when she talks about Buffalo’s East Side. The core area where we lived was built for Polish and German immigrants and blacks who migrated from the southern states. In the late 1800’s and early 1900’s, Buffalo was a boom-town. Very different from what it is now.

And as my father’s finances progressed, he put together a down payment and bought a house – the first in his family to own property. The Wheelers had done the same in 1957. Coincidentally, they lived only a few blocks from where we lived! They moved to a hoity-toity suburb of Buffalo (hence Joan’s tendancy to look down on where and how we lived). Well, geez, my uncle, who took Joan in for the first couple of months of her life, lived on Fox St. – another neighborhood that was quite nice in the 50’s and 60’s and sadly, now, is a crummy drug-infested ghetto.

You cannot see a crummy house and think it was crummy from the day it was built – and this is Joan’s mistake. (well one of her mistakes). She also suffers from the prejudicial statements from her adoptive parents who apparently forgot where they came from, because all her life, Joan was told she came from a family that were “too poor to keep her.” Joan was raised as an only child, spoiled rotten. Her mom hand sewed her pretty dresses. She must have used that line as a way to keep Joan grateful to them for adopting her. That was rotten, but that doesn’t give Joan the right to keep on perpetuating that tired old myth – by writing in her book and online that for Christmas 1956 or 1957, her adoptive parents sent over a xmas tree and presents for us!

This is utter bullshit! MY FATHER WORKED FOR THE CITY OF BUFFALO AND MADE GOOD MONEY. In 1956, my father remarried to an Italian lady, who’s mother doted on me. My father’s parents also doted on us. I recently posted on my facebook about how I got started on my love of mythology. My father’s mother gave me, when I was five years old (1957) – a book on Hiawatha. Even though it is a child book, it has some of the original prose of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. – I still have it in my attic. How do I know what year I got it? – cos my grandmother wrote it in the inside cover! It is a quality book – she had to have paid $$$ for it. (see graphics at end of this post). And that’s just only ONE thing. I remember a lot of the toys we had. Even when we lived with our grandparents for a couple of years while my stepmother was ill. – Just as girls today have dolls to learn makeup and hairdos – we had Toni dolls and Breck dolls (sponsored by Breck shampoo and Toni home perms) we had our very own gym set in the back yard on Smith St. not many kids had those. We had the make believe kitchen sets, with running water! (you filled the resevoir in the back). We had the first Easy Bake Oven. My brothers and I had Roy Rogers and Dale Evans cap gun sets. I had a Lucas McCain rifle (tv’s The Rifleman). Davy crockett coonskin hats, Jim Bowie rubber knives. Mickey Mouse Ears and Tinkerbell wands. We had the Visible V8 engine and chemistry sets. Countless paint by number kits and activity books and water color books and sets. I also had a Howdy Doody doll. METAL not plastic dish and tea sets. Stuffed toys. Cars and fire trucks, my stepbrother John had a rubber John Deere tractor! (which he named Basil – go figure!) We had an Elsie the Cow doll.

WE DIDN’T NEED CHARITY FROM THE WHEELERS OR ANYBODY ELSE AND JOAN WHEELER NEEDS TO STOP SAYING THAT BULLSHIT THAT WE RECIEVED IT. In her comments on that site that Gert references in her blog post – Joan also mentions “Catholic Charities.” Yes, our family availed ourselves with their services – AFTER MY STEPMOTHER BECAME ILL! – after Joan was adopted! I don’t know what kind of health insurance my father had back then, but I suspect he had the same problems back then as most families have today. Raising a family of 5 kids is expensive! And in those days, it was NOT the norm for the wife to work. So we were a one-income family, with the added burden of illness. Doctor and other bills to pay. My stepmother was mentally ill and an alcoholic. What Catholic Charities provided for us was social work. NOT monetary contributions. By 1959, when my stepmother was placed in the psych center, we were sent to a foster home and an orphanage. Again, I don’t know the financial obligations of all of that – but I think you have to pay some sort of child support, plus there was the doctor and hospital bills for my stepmother. But even in the foster home, there was still plenty of ample food, clothes and toys. And as I said, in 1965, my father bought a house, taking on a second job as a salesman at Sears. Teenagers in the 60’s were just as expensive then as they are today! But we were NOT poor!

And as far as Joan quoting my father as saying “if I had more education…” blah blah blah – my father was a carpenter. After he bought his house in 1965, he did extensive remodeling. He built a bedroom in the basement! Do you know how much money carpenters make?  My father could have taken that route for a career. (and I do not consider it a menial job at all – to create things with your hands is hardly menial. FYI – one of today’s greatest actors – Harrison Ford worked as a carpenter.- if carpentry is good enough for Han Solo and Indiana Jones, then I’m proud of my dad too!) And don’t forget – Jesus was a carpenter too, having learned the craft from his father Joseph.

So why is Joan NOT proud of the man who gave her the greatest gift of all? – HER OWN LIFE? No, all she can do is write put-down after put-down of him – and us.

AND THAT NEEDS TO STOP. And until she does – this blog, and Gert’s blog will be right here, taking Joan’s bullshit and telling the truth of us and our family.

I didn’t feel like going up to the attic and dragging my copy of Hiawatha down and taking pictures of it – I did find it on google. Apparently it was a 1951 edition, adapted by Allen Chaffee and illustrated by Armstrong Sperry. This is no “Little Golden Book.” This is large – larger than your average 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper.  This is an old friend of mine, along with my Heidi book, another present from my grandmother – which I also still have.

1. gertmcqueen

Right on Ruth!!! Our lives and our family’s lives, our friends, our lovers, our husbands, our children, where and how we lived and any minor or major aspect of our lives have been EXPOSED EXPLOITED AND LIED ABOUT by Joan Wheeler. We shall never stop in exposing these lies and righting our honor. People don’t like it, that’s just too bad.

 2. Ruth

you dam right Gert – if I, Ruth Pace, want to talk about MY childhood – that is my right! anybody got a problem with that? stuff it.

I know what MY life is and was – Joan was NOT there! She knows NOTHING about my life. And I have a dam good memory! I have what is called an eidetic memory – that means I remember things in details. I can remember colors, smells, actual words, the weather, I remember events like my father walking me to Sacred Heart School for a Halloween party – which must have been Halloween 1958. I remember the Christmas party in Sacred Heart’s downstairs gymnasium, around 1958 as well – I actually remember eating a tangerine and walnuts! I remember the Halloween party at the orphanage 1959 – I remember the black and orange crepe paper draping from the cieling, and bobbing for apples. I remember the school year recital at the orpanage where me and my brother Butch tapdanced to the tune of – well I don’t know the title of the song but it went “H-A-Double R -I, G-A-N spells Harrigan.” I remember seeing the 7th Voyage of Sinbad in the auditorium of the orphanage, a first run film, for the kids at the orphan home!

I remember bringing home the living room lamps with my stepmother and stepbrother. She carried the lamps – decorated with antique cars, and me and John each carried a shade. We got them from the S+H green stamp redemption center on the fifth floor of downtown’s Hens + Kelly store.


And if Joan and her deluded friends don’t like it – they can go you-know-where!

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