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reposting from Gert McQueen’s blog: Was Rene Hoksbergen ever really a friend to Joan Wheeler, or did she just use him like she does everyone? (originally published on December 23, 2011) December 26, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family.
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UPDATE…NOV 2015…

Joan M Wheeler has published a new ‘revision’ of the same old hate manifesto and renamed it ‘Duped by Adoption’. I have created a new blog and Facebook page…

Here are the links to my NEW blog and Facebook page

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

On Amazon, I have reviewed 7 reviews of this ‘new’ garbage book and created a ‘discussion’ on the Forward, by Rene Hoksbergen.

Here’s the link to the DISCUSSION about the FORWARD on Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/about-the-FORWARD-/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/Tx2ACMKSGGGG4SV/1/ref=cm_cd_dp_tp_cq?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW&cdSort=oldest#Mx16G15LCZTNM4X

Here’s the link to a recent blog post Nov 3, 2015 about the contents of the forward

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/11/03/doesnt-rene-hoksbergen-have-anything-better-to-do-in-his-retirement-than-to-continue-to-use-joan-m-wheelers-families-as-whipping-posts-in-a-new-forward/

Here are the related links to blog posts that Ruth and I have already written and addressed topics related to Rene Hoksbergen, the author of the Forward.

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2011/12/23/was-rene-hoksbergen-ever-really-a-friend-to-joan-wheeler-or-did-she-just-use-him-like-she-does-everyone/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/gert-mcqueens-review-of-rene-hoksbergens-review-of-forbidden-family-by-joan-wheeler/     this one is about the review in LAVAContact2  2010 English translation

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/26/reposting-from-gert-mcqueens-blog-was-rene-hoksbergen-ever-really-a-friend-to-joan-wheeler-or-did-she-just-use-him-like-she-does-everyone-originally-published-on-december-23-2011/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/05/16/emails-from-willem-koops-former-colleague-of-retired-professor-rene-hoksbergen-palsie-walsie-of-joan-wheeler/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/09/20/joan-wheeler-lies-about-dr-rene-hoksbergen-in-her-book-forbidden-family/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/10/14/

NOW BACK TO THIS POST

Ruth here. –
for the past several days, this blog has had some interesting guests. From Holland, where Professor Rene Hoksbergen, retired from Utrecht University lives. Prof. Hoksbergen is an “adoption expert.” I’m not interested in that. I AM interested in Prof. Hoksbergen’s interference with my family – from way back in 1993, when Joan enlisted his help. At that time,my sister Kathy was trying to get some belongings of her shipped from Buffalo, NY to her home in England. Joan had them in her attic for “safekeeping” and Kathy sent her some monies for the shipping. Joan kept stalling and somehow got the good professor involved in a family matter. The professor sends Kathy a condencsending letter and dared to lecture Kathy – a grown woman! – on her attitude towards adoptees! AND in the letter, he tells Kathy that it will cost about $500 to ship her things to her. – Kathy had no intention of Joan paying for everything – but when she got this letter – she complained to the university,  and enlisted the help of our father to get her things shipped. My father called up Joan and told her to bring the things to his house, which she did. My father, who did not have a car, managed to ship the things to Kathy in three shipments, each costing around $50.00, for a total of $150.00. Far less than what the professor was led to believe. (Joan had stolen several hundred dollars from me in 1990 and was moving on to Kathy to scam money out of – and in the end did NOT return all of Kathy’s belongings, keeping valuable Beatle memorabilia, thereby STEALING  these items). — Professor Hoksbergen also wrote the foreward to Joan’s lying book Forbidden Family in 2006. The book was published in 2009, Since several topics and events covered in the book happened (and were dated in the book by Joan) in the years 2007, 2008, and 2009, it is our belief that Joan did not show the professor a complete manuscript for him to read. She had several different versions of manuscripts. My father even said that he was given over the course of many years, different versions and excerpts to read – and it was constantly changing!
Joan wrote in the book that in the year 1989, Professor Hoksbergen came to my house with Joan and she described me yelling and screaming at him – an event that  NEVER happened. It is my belief that  Professor Hoksbergen wrote a foreward to this book, without seeing a manuscript that included this fictious event. Or if he did see this event chronicled in the book and still gave his approval of it – I question either his faulty memory OR his apparent APPROVAL of slander and libel of both me and him.
Whatever is going on with the good professor, – it don’t smell right and honest to me! So here is Gert’s original post from her blog. I was going to just publish a link to it, but I think whatever guests I have coming Holland should see this without too much bother of going to another website.  Of course they, and everyone else has an open invitation to see our sister site by Gert McQueen, Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor.   
But for now, here is Gert’s post, along with a comment of mine, at the end. Enjoy!
Joan Wheeler has always stated that her mentor Doctor Rene Hoksbergen was a very dear friend and very helpful to her. I have always had my doubts about that. With Joan’s consistency in making up stories, to make herself and her ’life’ believeable, I really wonder about how Hoksbergen really viewed her. I will never know of course but I can speculate; hey if Joan can speculate about things so can I!
 
The following comes, again, from the public forum of Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change.
 
The date of this post is old…September 6,  2010. But, this time period is very significant for many reasons. September 2010 was just about a year AFTER the lying hateful book Forbidden Family was published in November2009 and when we, the birth siblings, started to refute it in December 2009. September 2010 was also one year BEFORE Joan had one of several melt-downs on the public forum and JUST BEFORE she created the cyberbullying page against us because we would not stop refuting her book.
 
September 6, 2010 was also just BEFORE we made public, on Ruth’s blog, that I had been in touch with Joe Soell in May of 2010 and that I had written to Hoksbergen and his boss in October 2010! This is very important for Joe Soell had communications with me in May of 2010 and it is almost certain that he spoke with Hoksbergen about my complaint about Joan Wheeler.
 
So a question is placed on the forum and Joan emails her mentor, showing that she has ‘friends in high places’ and then posts his response. What I find interesting is that Joan doesn’t remove her OWN email address when she posts on a public forum, is she brain dead! Also, Hoksbergen doesn’t give any HINT of warmth towards her, he seems very COLD and to the point! Remember, that he has probably been told that I had communicated with Joe Soell.
 
Title: Birth Certificates
Post by: J on September 06, 2010, 02:33:45 AM
Hi everyone
An adoptive parent on a Dutch forum wrote that if his adopted child asks for his birthcertificate only the names of his adoptive parents are on there. Apparently, they changed the law. It was never like this. To him it feels like fraud. Is there a website about the OBC’s in the US which he can read and gives information about why adoptees are against this? He is very active, and I would like others to read it as well. 
 
Title: Re: Birth Certificates
Post by: He September 06, 2010, 07:19:31 AM
American Adoption Congress and Bastard Nation Websites make it quite clear 
 
Title: Re: Birth Certificates
Post by: C on September 06, 2010, 12:56:17 PM
I had my b-mother’s permission to get my original birth certificate.  It just said “Baby Girl ” and the b-mom’s last name. And the word, “Illegitimate” on the bottom.  The revised birth certificate had my a-parent’s names on it, erased the name of the hospital, and changed my birth date. 
The idea is that the privacy of the birth mom and the formation of the “new family” demanded that we issue birth certificates like this one.  Since that is how we are going to play, I had my full name legally changed and had a new birth certificate issued. It still has my adoptive parent’s names on it, but makes it clear that we are not related since my last name is not the same as either of theirs.  Take that! :gottabat2:   
 
Title: Re: Birth Certificates
Post by: 1adoptee on September 06, 2010, 06:21:44 PM
I emailed Dr. Rene Hoksbergen of The Adoption Center, University of Utrecht, The Netherlands about this and this is his reply:Van: Joan M Wheeler [mailto:wheejm@yahoo.com]
Verzonden: maandag 6 september 2010 16:10
Aan: r.a.c.hoksbergen@uu.nl
Onderwerp: Dutch birth certificate for adoptee – question
RE: Dutch birth certificate for adoptee – question
You have your birthcert. And adoptioncert. Nothing changed in holland.
 
Gert here again:
Don’t you think that this great ‘mentor’ should have given Joan a bit more information about the question at hand? All he does is state the obvious to Joan about Joan…namely that SHE has her birth and adoptive certificate and nothing has changed?
 
And now it appears that SOMEONE from Holland has been reading our blogs!! Could it be Rene Hoksbergen himself?
 
For further reading on the topic of informing people about Joan’s lies and activities see the following posts on Ruth’s blog. A liar can NEVER cover all their tracks…the truth always comes out!
 
 
 
 
 
 

What I find interesting and amusing is that several months ago I sent Hoksbergen a private message via facebook upbraiding him for his support of Joan Wheeler – and I told him in no uncertain terms that he needs to drop support of Joan because of the lies she told about him and me in her book. She says that he came to my house – he was NEVER in my house. She describes me as yelling and screaming at him – no, I never did. I met him once – AT JOAN’S HOUSE. And I barely spoke to the man as I am shy around new people – besides, unlike Joan, I HAVE MANNERS.

I challenged Hoksbergen to come forward and TELL THE TRUTH about his meeting me, his never being in my house, my never yelling at him. – He hasn’t had the courage to come forward. WHY?

Another amusing point – I sent Hoksbergen a friend request on facebook – AND HE ACCEPTED IT! What an ass! I don’t want to be his friend – I wanted to see what he was going to do!

So – he is one my facebook friend list AND on Joan’s facebook friends list. What is he trying to prove? Is he spying on me? Well fine – because when a real juicy blog post here on Gert’s blog – or my blog – gets publicized on my facebook page, it automatically shows up on the newsfeeds of ALL my friends – Hoksbergen included. So he can see right away what we write on our blogs about HIM (when we do) and his little “friend” Joni Wheeler. — wonder just how “friendly” they were! ha ha ha. – I don’t know about the professor – but I sure know about Joan.

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My complaint to Trafford Publications concerning the slander and libel contained in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler November 30, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Our Family History, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Here it is – at long last – my official complaint to Trafford Publications – the complaint that made them take a look at the book they published. The contract they had with Joan Wheeler was that the book was “ready-to-publish” that is, all editing for content had been done already.

Let me explain. Trafford is a publishing vehicle for authors to self-publish their works. Trafford offers several packages. They offer editing services, but Joan opted out of that. I wonder why? Because one of the articles of the standard contract Trafford offers to their prospective authors is: no obscenities. Yet on page 370 Joan publishes a post card that she received in the mail that had obscenities written on it. (and as usual – she blames ME for it – even tho the handwriting is not mine). – Anyway, she slipped that in under Trafford’s nose – she told Trafford that the book had already been edited for content. Therefore, nobody at Trafford ever read the entire manuscript – they took Joan at her word and published it.

Joan also signed the contract that stated that no slander or libel was contained in the book. She signed the contract under false pretenses. In my last two posts, A Letter I wrote to the district attorney in 1995 sheds light on Joan Wheeler’s harassments of me and refutes the lies on pages 325-333 in her book Forbidden Family  and  Graphics of scanned court documents, etc. that prove without a doubt that Joan Wheeler is a liar in her book Forbidden Family,  I outlined many lies contained in only pages 295 – 342, and provided actual court documents and actual letters (one hand-written by Joan, one typed out, and contains a hand-written note by Joan), that refuted those lies contained in only less than 50 pages in that hideous 600 page plus book.

When Joan signed the contract with Trafford, they took her word the book contained no slander or libel and published the book. When they received my complaint (along with one from Gert), it took them from January 2011 to May 2011 to research my complaint. In other words – someone from Trafford FINALLY sat down and read the garbage they had unwittingly published.  Not only did they have to read the garbage that Joan wrote – they had to look through the court documents that I sent them. Then they had to sift through all the convoluted lies and twisting of facts, events, dates that Joan did on those few 50 pages and that I outlined in my post A Letter I wrote to the district attorney in 1995 sheds light on Joan Wheeler’s harassments of me and refutes the lies on pages 325-333 in her book Forbidden Family .

The result? Trafford’s editors and legal staff agreed that Joan, by signing the contract under false pretenses, LIED to them and pulled the wool over their eyes. Their only recourse was to: PULL THAT GARBAGE BOOK  FROM PUBLICATION.

I also pointed out to Trafford that the photograph on the back cover of that garbage book is of ME and my siblings and parents. Joan had no right to publish that photograph. It was taken in 1955. Joan was not born until 1956.She was adopted out a year later. She was given COPY of it almost 20 years later. Copies of that family photograph were distributed to many family members during the 1950’s and 1960’s. One of the articles in the contract that Joan entered into with Trafford was that she “was the sole copyright owner of all content of the work.” She did not, and DOES NOT own the copyrights to MY photograph. Joan has a little blurb on her website that the faces are blurry and obscured by text – that is just her trying to get out of the mess that SHE alone got herself into. When I pointed out to Trafford (in a telephone call with Eugene Hopkins, at 11:am on May 9, 2011), that Joan did not get permission from ME (orally or written) to publish MY photograph – Mr. Hopkins agreed right then and there to PULL THE BOOK FROM PUBLICATION!

That happened on May 9, 2011, and to this day, November 30, 2011, Joan, in her delusional state, her continual REFUSAL TO FACE REALITY – still has a link on her website that directs “buyers” of this garbage book to a sales page on Trafford’s website – a page THAT NO LONGER EXISTS because Trafford pulled it down!

Joan Wheeler is a pathological LIAR – she not only lies to people to their face, she lies on the internet. She spent more than half of her life writing her precious book – the book that she invested so much wasted time and energy on – finally got the stupid thing published, but then got it pulled because she not only LIED in the book – she LIED to the publisher that it contained no lies.

AND this delusional LIAR has a facebook page promoting this book. A DEAD BOOK!  Ok, she made the page over a year ago – but it’s still in existence. BUT – she recently (October 2011) created an account on The Huffington Post, using this page. A page that promotes a DEAD BOOK! (because she can’t register on Huffington under her regular facebook page – thanks to her posting some lying shit about us back in March 2011 – and she got booted off of Huffington).  So what does she do – she re-registers under false pretenses. Using a dead book. Will she never learn NOT TO LIE?

So here is my complaint. There is a list of documents – I’m not going to post them all. Go here to this post to see only a couple of them. They are enough to back up my TRUTH of what happened. And to show how Joan Wheeler LIED in her book about me.

Part 1 of complaint of Ruth Sippel Pace

Re: book, Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler, published by Trafford

 Submission by Ruth Sippel Pace, birth sister of Joan Wheeler, author of the book Forbidden Family.

 For consideration of Trafford Publishing to rescind their contract with Ms. Wheeler regarding the publication of this book, on the grounds that the book contains many falsehoods, slanderous statements about me, Ruth Sippel Pace and other members of my family. The book also contains references to my life, which are personal in nature, and the author has not been given my permission to discuss with anyone, nor publish them in a book.

    Also, my photograph is published on the back cover, my face is clear, even though it is a picture of me as a child. I never gave permission for this picture to be published. The picture of my father’s face is clear. The author’s stance of her changing the names of living person’s in the book is enough to provide privacy does not hold up to the fact that she uses her own real name, Joan Wheeler in the book, identifies the city of her birth and the city of the birth of her birth siblings, as that of Buffalo, New York. Any person with any reasonable intelligence and who ever knew my father, would recognize his picture on the back cover of the book and put names to people mentioned in the book. My father worked for the city of Buffalo in Buffalo’s City Hall for more than 30 years and is well known. We also have a large family, and the Wheeler clan is also very large. Also, the details of Joan’s adoption have been publicized in the past, via a television interview of Joan and myself (together), and newspaper interviews of Joan and my father (separately). In the case of the television interview, both my face and Joan’s were in clear view, and our names were given on camera. In the newspaper articles, both my father, and Joan, had their photographs published, with their names published with the photos.

 In a conversation between my sister Gert McQueen and Mr. Tubio, Mr. Tubio requested the most telling of the lies we have found in the book Forbidden Family. I will start by refuting Joan’s narration of court cases that Joan and I were involved in against each other. This narration is on the following pages: 314 – 317, 322-333, 362-368. Unfortunately, Joan not only lies about actual events that happened between us, and the court cases, but mixes up the court cases with each other until there is such a convoluted narration of these events, that I have to resort to first telling you in a few short paragraphs, exactly what happened before I can point out any slanderous comments that are contained in these pages. I do have, scanned copies of actual court documents that support the truth of what happened. These are included at the end of this email, are listed as thus:

 01 -Joan’s complaint July 9, 1993

02a – restraining order Aug 9,93 – Feb 9,94

02b – closeup dates restraining order Aug 9,93 – Feb 9,94

02c – closeup name restraining order Aug 9,93 – Feb 9,94

03 – Joan’s letter to Albany, New York Dec 31, 94

04 – Ruth’s complaint 3-7-95

05 – Joan’s letter to John

06 – summons April 19 95

07  – certificate from Buffalo Police Academy 8-29-98

08  – Ruth’s petition to Family Court 6-4-99

09 – summons to Family Court 6-4-99

10 – temporary restraining. 6-4-99

11 – one year restraining order June 24, 99 – June 24, 00

 When it is necessary to refer to these evidence documents, during my narrative and the narrative contained in the book, I will be referring to them by their assigned number.

My second email contains the remainder of the many lies and invasions of my privacy that are contained in this book.

 I have listed the page number first, then the quote from the book in bold, and my objection/telling of the truth follows. Joan Wheeler refers to me, Ruth Sippel Pace as Brenda in her book. It is my contention that Ms. Wheeler’s purpose for writing the book is a means of revenge and hurting people that have ever disagreed with her. There are many personal attacks on me in this book. Throughout the book, Ms. Wheeler portrays me as an uneducated inner city ghetto dweller with a foul mouth and a person who drinks all the time. I have found many personal hateful slurs directed at me in this book. I believe she included these slurs in an attempt to hurt me, as she has done many things to me in the past 25 years to hurt me. For example, she made a complaint to my job that I was a computer hacker. After they investigated me, found me innocent, and told her this, she would NOT accept it. She called my job almost everyday for several months trying to get me fired. This book is just a continuation of Ms. Wheeler’s hate campaign against myself and others. Throughout the book, Ms. Wheeler puts words into other people’s mouths, those words usually are her own thoughts and she does this to lend credence to her fantasy that people agree with her on the topic she is writing about. And to lend credence that people actually DID agree with her, as she reports in the book.

    Right from the beginning, Ms. Wheeler presents a falsehood:

Page xvi

“I believe I have written a fair and accurate account.” “ This is my story as it happened to me.”

 I have caught Ms. Wheeler in many out and out lies that cannot be construed as a faulty memory, the most telling is blatant falsifications of actual court proceedings between Ms. Wheeler and myself and the decisions of the court.

     The court proceedings between me and Joan had their beginnings in 1990 when Joan and her ex-husband stole several hundred dollars from me. Between 1990-1992, there were many arguments between us over this. The theft of the money was one of previous misdeeds Joan had done to me.  It got to the point that in disgust, I told Joan I wanted nothing more to do with her. In February 1993, just before Valentine’s Day, I received a greeting card in the mail. Actually, the envelope was addressed to me. Inside was a Valentine’s Day card, for my husband, supposedly from Joan’s children. It was not a Valentine’s card that children hand out, it was a specialty card, for a “special Uncle.” (this was just the beginning of Joan’s playing games with the mail. I received many envelopes addressed to me, but the letter inside was for my sister Gert (who did not live in Buffalo, or the envelope was addressed to me and my husband, with the letter for me. Joan would also manipulate the return address and zip-codes so that if I attempted to refuse it and “return to sender” the post office’s machines would spit it back for delivery back to me). In May 1993, another envelope addressed to me arrived, inside was a forged letter – supposedly from my 10 year old nephew to my husband, but on close examination, you could tell the sloppy printing was Joan’s.

    During this time, Joan was receiving annoyance phone calls and she suspected me. She called the police and the phone company and arranged to have her line tapped. To ensure that I would call her, she sent a Father’s Day card, supposedly from her children, to my husband, and again, the envelope was addressed to me. And I took the bait. I called her, and she said, “hold on.” Click. ?? I called back. “Hold on.” Click. I called again, “Joan, this is Ruth.” I intended to ask why the envelopes were addressed to me, but the contents were for my husband, but then Joan swore at me and hung up. I got tired of her game and gave up.

    The following week, my electricity was cut off, as my husband and I were undergoing some financial difficulties. Knowing that Joan owed me over $700.00, I called her. I was crying and said, “Joan, I need help.” She hung up on me. I tried a couple more times. She kept hanging up on me. I got angry and called her and swore at her.

    Shortly afterwards, I got a call from Buffalo Police Detective Martin Harrington, who wanted to know why I was calling Joan. I told him exactly what I just wrote here. He said he believed me, and would recommend that Joan drop any charges against me. She went ahead and filed harassment charges on me, signing the complaint on July 9, 1993. (DOC 01) I do not have the summons for that court case, but appeared in front of Judge Robert Russell on August 9, 1993, where Joan was granted a six-month Order of Protection against, on ACD. (Adjournment on Consideration of Dismissal). (DOC 02a). The writing is hard to read, so you must look at DOCS 02b and 02c to make out my name, and dates of the duration of the six-month restraining order – August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994.

     Sometime in 1994, Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill from my employer (Buffalo General Hospital) got mixed up with a bill from another patient. Ms. Wheeler accused me of computer hacking and lodged a formal complaint with my employer. I was investigated and found innocent but Ms. Wheeler would not accept this. For several months, beginning in the fall of 1994 and continuing through January 1995, she was calling various departments in the hospital and telling numerous people how “bad” I was.  On December 22, 1994, a child abuse call was made against Ms. Wheeler. The caller identified themselves as me, saying that Ms. Wheeler had sex with my husband in front of her children. On December 31, 1994, Ms. Wheeler wrote to the New York State Department of Social Services, Child Abuse Maltreatment Register, in Albany, New York, to request a copy of the information of that call. (DOC 03).  In that letter, Joan refers to our court case of August 9, 1993, and informs them that I was put on six months “probation.”

    As my then fiancé, John Pace was named in the child abuse call, he was involved in talks with the Child Protective Services people, but HE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING, BECAUSE HE KNEW THAT I DIDN’T PLACE THE CALL. HE WANTED TO KEEP ME OUT IT, WHILE HE WAS TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT WAS GOING ON.

    The first I heard of this was in February 1995, when I received a large manila envelope from Ms. Wheeler. Inside were copies of letters that she wrote to the mayor of Buffalo, the commissioner of our local (Erie County) social services department, the formal complaint she wrote to my employer, and the letter of December 31, 1994 that she wrote to Albany New York. When I read the lie about me being placed on probation in 1993, I filed harassment charges against Ms. Wheeler on March 7, 1995.  (DOC 04). On March 17, 1995, Ms. Wheeler sent a letter to my fiancé via his mother’s house begging him to ask me to drop the charges and urged him to leave me. (DOC 05).

    We appeared before Judge Margaret Anderson three times, because it was adjourned twice due to a lack of time in the courtroom for the first two dates. On the first date of April 3, 1995, Judge Anderson instructed the court that no children were to be brought to the court. At the next court appearance of April 19, 1995, (afternoon session), (DOC 06), Ms. Wheeler did bring her two children, but they stayed out in the hallway with her friend Carol, even though it was a school day. At one point in the court, while we were waiting for our case to be called, I left to use the ladies room. I saw Carol and the children, but said nothing. Our case was adjourned to a date in May 1995. On this date, Judge Anderson dismissed my case against Ms. Wheeler, saying that “sisters should get along.” I thanked the judge for considering my case and left.

    I continued receiving harassing letters from Ms. Wheeler through the next several years. I ignored her. In the meantime, I involved myself in organizing a block club for my street, and became a neighborhood activist to improve the quality of life in my neighborhood. As part of this, I took a short course through the Buffalo Police Academy to be a VIABLE volunteer (Volunteers in Aiding Buffalo Law Enforcement). To be considered for this, candidates had to undergo a background check, and since I had a clean record (the one six-month restraining order had been summarily dismissed, because I had abided by the judge’s instructions to me to stay away from Ms. Wheeler). I had no arrest record, no record of probation, nothing. I was awarded my certificate and appointment to the VIABLE program on August 29, 1998. (DOC 07).

    On February 15, 1999, I received another letter from Joan, and in it she tells me that her son saw me driving past her house (DOC 08). This was a lie, as I didn’t even have a car at that time. I called her house to tell her to leave me alone and a male answered, and I hung up, saying nothing. I then sent her a letter telling her to leave me alone. I told her that I did not have a car, did not drive past her house. And that since she had a man now, she should concentrate on her own life and to leave me and MY man alone.

    Then on February 23, 1999, I received an envelope addressed to me. I did not recognize the return address, but inside was a letter to me from Ms. Wheeler, informing me that my husband had gotten the next door neighbor pregnant and the child was born in 1994 (totally untrue, as the only children born to women living in that house were 2 boys). (DOC 09).

    I met with the woman who lived at the address on the envelope – she was Carol, Joan’s friend who was in the court with Joan’s children. Carol told me that the previous year, Joan had been asking for a “hit man” to take me out. I went to the District Attorney’s office and they said that because it was hearsay, they couldn’t do anything about it. I spent the next two months trying to get harassment charges filed against Joan. I got another manila envelope from Joan, which I refused to open. I returned it, marking it “return to sender” and Joan then manipulated the return address and it came back to my house. I decided to return it to her in person. A neighbor drove me to Joan’s house. His car was leaking transmission oil and he kept a can of oil on hand. He suggested I put the oil on the envelope to prevent Joan from putting it in the postal service again. Which we did and I threw the envelope up on her lawn.

     This resulted in Joan calling my house and swearing at me. I talked to several people and they suggested I petition Family Court, as the District Attorneys were tired of the both of us sisters and not taking this matter seriously. On June 4, 1999, I did just that. (DOC 10). They listened to my complaint, and in front of me, they went into the court computer system and found the two previous court cases involving Ms. Wheeler and myself (1993 and 1995). They typed this information onto the complaint that I signed, issued a summons for both me and Joan to appear in Family Court on June 24, 1999. (DOC 11), and granted me a temporary restraining order ON THE SPOT (DOC 12). On June 24, 1999, Judge Margaret Szczur made the temporary restraining order permanent. (DOC 13).

 Now we shall examine how Ms. Wheeler presents these facts in her book Forbidden Family.

 Pages 314 – 315

Joan is discussing a conversation she is having with Det. M. H. The subject of her threatening to report our sister Kathy to the British Immigration Department comes up, as well as a couple of my pets.

 Det. H. did not know that there was any threat to call The Home Office – Back in 1989, Joan got into a snit with Kathy and said to me, “I ought to call immigration on her.” (as a revenge tactic). I told her not to do that. And I hadn’t told Kathy what Joan threatened to do, because Joan promised me she wouldn’t make the call. I eventually did tell Kathy, but it was AFTER this alleged conversation takes place. Joan alleges that the detective asks Joan who Brandy Sippel is, because supposedly, my phone bill is listed under that name. Which is false. Joan tells the detective that Brandy is one of my cats. False, Brandy was my dog. She mentions another one of my cats on page 315, Francoise (this conversation with the detective is supposedly taking place in February 1993). My cat Francoise had been put to sleep in 1992.

 Page 316 time frame – February/March 1993

“the detective issued a warrant for Brenda’s arrest to appear in a Buffalo Court. A Restraining Order was then issued to keep her away from me for a year.”

 Lie. Joan signed the complaint about annoyance calls from me on July 9, 1993, not in February or March 1993. The calls weren’t made until June 1993. see documents 01, Also an arrest warrant was NOT issued. What was issued was a summons to me by the court, not the detective, to appear in court. When a person is summoned into court, and they do NOT appear, THEN an arrest warrant is issued, and this warrant is issued by the COURT, not any police officer. As I did appear in court, no arrest warrant was ever issued, and I was never placed under arrest. Also the Order of Protection was for a period of six months, NOT one year. (DOCS 02a, 02b, 02c).  And this was issued ACD – Adjournment on Consideration of Dismissal, which means that if I stayed away from Joan for the six months, all charges would be dismissed. I did abide by the court’s orders – I stayed away from her and the charges were dismissed. We appeared in court on August 9, 1993, and the Order of Protection was for the dates August 9, 1993 – February 9, 1994.

 Pages 323-324

Joan is describing an event that took place on Saturday, July 31, 1993 (but she reports in the book it was for August 1, 1993. She and ex-husband were moving and had enlisted the help of my husband. Joan reports that I followed him to her house in my car, began screaming at him in the street, went up to Joan and accused her of having an affair with my husband. Joan says that four witnesses heard me screaming in the street. On page 323 she says: “The Restraining Order against Brenda wasn’t good enough to keep her away. On August 1, 1993…”

 Lies, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.

As we had not appeared in court yet, nor the restraining order set in place yet, I was in no violation of a restraining order on July 31, or August 1, 1993. I did not follow my husband in my car, we did not have a car at the time. I took the bus there. I had told my husband in the past I did not want him going to Joan’s house because of the trouble she was causing me. He continued to go there to visit with the children. I also repeated this request on July 31, 1993, and Joan overheard me, as she was standing nearby. I was not screaming at him in the street. I did not at any time accuse them of having an affair. I would also like to know who the four witnesses to my screaming are. I did not see four people outside the house. I did see ONE woman standing in Joan’s doorway, while Joan was standing outside the doorway, while my husband and I were on the sidewalk in front of the house. After I talked to my husband, who agreed to return home, I went across the street where Joan’s husband Colby Bell was putting things in his car. As I went to talk to him, it was JOAN who started the screaming, at her husband Colby — that he was not to talk to me. Joan then yelled at MY husband, who was walking down the street away from Joan’s house, that he should not be listening to me and he better leave me. It was at THIS point that I did yell back at Joan to shut up, and just because she can rule over HER husband, she wasn’t going to rule over mine, nor me. It was at this point, two of her friends came out of the house and they were looking at disgust at Joan.  I then left and walked down the street to join my husband.

 Page 325

“Brenda didn’t abide by the Order. She continued telephoning me at Brian’s house. Four months of harassment followed. … I had just come home from filing yet another harassment charge against Brenda in a different town jurisdiction.”

 Lies, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace, contradictory statement by Joan.

I did abide by the Order. I did not telephone Brian’s house, as I did not know where he lived, nor the phone number. I did not harass Joan for four months. No additional harassment charges were filed against me in 1993. The contradiction and proof of this lie: if I were in violation of the restraining order, and she did indeed file additional harassment charges against me, I would have been placed under arrest. This did NOT happen.

 Page 328

“The harassment charges against Brenda were dropped.”

 Lie. There were no additional harassment charges against me.

 Pages 328-329

Joan describes an event in early December 1993 of a child abuse call that was placed against her and the call also implicated my husband. “It was obvious that Brenda made this ‘anonymous’ report.”

 Lie, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. The child abuse call was made on December 22, 1994. The caller identified themselves as Ruth Sippel and named my husband. It is NOT obvious that I made this call. What IS obvious is that if I were going to make a prank child abuse call, I would NOT use my real name, nor name my husband and risk him getting into trouble. See DOC 03, Joan’s letter to the New York State Department of Social Services, Child Abuse and Maltreatment Register, in Albany, New York, dated December 31, 1994, which lists the correct date of the child abuse call, which was December 22, 1994. In this letter, Joan states: “We know this report was made by Ruth.” How could she “know?” The matter had just begun it’s investigation. Also Joan states, regarding the court case in 1993 over the telephone calls and she was granted the six months restraining order: “Ruth was found guilty and placed on six months probation.” Here we see ABSOLUTE PROOF of Joan’s history of lying to people about me. And to official people in law enforcement and child protective services!

 Page 329 time frame – December 1993 to about March 1994

“What followed the allegations of child abuse and neglect were three months of court dates waiting for the first charges to be cleared.”

 Lies. There were NO court dates between Joan and I during these months. See DOC 10, of my petition to Family Court, June 4, 1999, that lists the 2 prior court case between Joan and I were in 1993 and 1995, NOT 1994.

 Page 329-330 time frame – early 1994

“Our only recourse was to seek and Order of Protection. Three months of court dates followed. I brought my children to court as they were part of the case and needed to see for themselves just what was going on.”

 Lie, there were no court dates between Joan and myself in 1994.

Admission to possible child abuse – Joan does not say that her children were required to be in court, she says she BROUGHT them to a court case between adults. In 1994, her children were aged 10 and 7. Why would anyone drag young children to court to witness this?

 Pages 329 –330 time frame in the book – early 1994

“Three months of court dates followed.”

 Lies, mixing up years of court dates. The court case Joan is referring here happened in 1995, the case that I brought against her, appearing before Judge Margaret Anderson three times, because it was adjourned twice due to a lack of time in the courtroom for the first two dates. On the first date of April 3, 1995, Judge Anderson instructed the court that no children were to be brought to the court. At the next court appearance of April 19, 1995, (afternoon session), (DOC 06), Ms. Wheeler did bring her two children, but they stayed out in the hallway with her friend Carol, even though it was a school day. At one point in the court, while we were waiting for our case to be called, I left to use the ladies room. I saw Carol and the children, but said nothing.

 Page 330

“The court broke for lunch. The room full of people went to the lobby. My ten-year old son and seven year old daughter went up to the drinking fountain. I was at their side. Aunt Brenda came up to them and yelled, “You see what your mother is doing to me? You see? She drags you in court to see your poor Aunt go through this.”

 Lie. This never happened. NEVER. We were NEVER in court in 1994. At no time did I EVER disrespect her children. Telling sign this is a lie (despite the actual court documents): Joan does not say she approached a court bailiff, the prosecutor, judge or any one of many sheriff’s deputies that are always standing on guard to prevent these kinds of altercations. 

 Page 330

“Mom and I were granted an Order of Protection against Brenda in the summer of 1994. It was good for one year.”

 Lie. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Again, refer to DOC 10, my petition to Family Court, June 4, 1999, that lists the 2 prior court case between Joan and I were in 1993 and 1995, NOT 1994.

    Also, how could Joan and her mother and her children attend three months of court case in early 1994, Joan and her mother obtain an Order of Protection against me in the summer of 1994, over a child abuse call that HAD NOT BEEN PLACED YET? The call was not made until December 22, 1994, and we have Joan’s letter to Albany (DOC 03) to prove this.

   Also, nowhere in the book does Joan refer to the harassment charges I placed against her in 1995.

 Page 332

“Toward the end of May 1994 … my mother were … in the middle of ugly court dates against Brenda.”

 Lie, as stated above, there were no court dates for any court case between Joan and me in 1994.

 Pages 332- 333 – time frame 1994

Joan is describing the mix-up of her hospital bill. On page 333, she writes: “ A letter arrived a month later stating the error was attributed to a computer glitch and that my sister wasn’t involved. I wasn’t convinced. I called the head of the billing department and told him everything that was going on and that I wanted no further contact from Brenda.”

 Admission of Joan’s invading Ruth’s privacy. Proof of Joan having delusions. Proof of Joan not accepting what is true. She made a complaint of computer hacking against me. My employer investigated her complaint. Found that I did not do it. COULD not do it, as I work 11pm to 7am and the computers on the nursing stations ARE NOT EVEN CONNECTED TO THE BILLING DEPARTMENT COMPUTERS. My employer told Joan I was innocent, but Joan refuses to believe it. She is so full of hate against me, that no matter what nice thing any one says about me – she will fly into a rage over it and will not accept it.

 Page 333 – time frame in the book 1994

“A few days later, a padded manila envelope appeared on my front lawn. I picked it up. It was covered with a slimy greasy substance that I guessed to be cooking oil. … I was stupid enough to open it up. A note inside stated that ‘You, Joan, have been cut out of my life forever.’ Out tumbled photographs. … cut from ordinary 35 mm photos … they were photos of me, photos of my children. Since there was only one of my sisters living in Buffalo, I knew who had done this—-Brenda.”

 Lies, mixing up calendar years of events. As I had already indicated in my narration of The Feud between Joan and myself in the beginning of this complaint, this envelope was the one that I had received from JOAN in the year of 1999. This is the one that I refused to accept, marked “return to sender,” but Joan had manipulated the return address zip code so that the envelope would not returned to her house, but come to my house. This was the envelope that I decided to return to her in person. A neighbor drove me to Joan’s house. His car was leaking transmission oil and he kept a can of oil on hand. He suggested I put the oil on the envelope to prevent Joan from putting it in the postal service again. Which we did and I threw the envelope up on her lawn.  (Ruth’s note, November 30, 2011 – When I submitted this complaint, I made an error – I myself had mixed up a couple of events. My neighbor D. did have a car that leaked transmission fluid. At the time that John and I did not have a car. And he would take me grocery shopping – we would frequently have to stop to add transmission fluid, as I would have to a few years later, when I got a clunker car. I only realized my mistake a few months ago (July 2011) when I found a manilla folder that contained the actual letter that I wrote and then I realized my mistake. I’m human, just like everybody else. And when I make a mistake, I own up to it. Joan whines that her book is “to the best of her recollection.” But there is NO way that can be true – I can allow SOME forgetfulness – but to be saying we were in court when we weren’t – to say the court ruled this or that way, when it didn’t, to say that I was arrested, when I was not, to say that she herself was arrested, when she never was – is NOT forgetfulness – it is out and out LIES).

   Also, I never sent “cut up” photos of her to her EVER. I did cut her pictures out of photos in my personal photo album, but I had thrown them in the garbage. She only knows of the “cut up” photos, because she had looked at my photo albums in the year 2003 and saw that she had been cut out of my personal photos. We see Joan in all her vindictive glory here, she herself sent me the manila envelope, to make sure she would get it back unopened, I had to resort to putting oil on it so she could not use the post office again in her harassment of me. Then she reports the wrong year of the event, then she takes an event that happened in another year, and pads up her hate campaign against me to say that I was the responsible for the envelope in the first place. AND sent her photographs in an envelope that came from her originally, and I returned to her UNOPENED!

 Page 361

Ms. Wheeler describes herself calling my cousin on the phone and screaming at her.

 Admission of Ms. Wheeler harassing Gail.

 Page 363

Ms. Wheeler describes that Gail called the police. And that the Town of Eden, New York police called her on the phone. And then she was summoned into court for harassment.

 This is true. Because Gail knew of the harassment that I was receiving from Ms. Wheeler and as she was going through a divorce, as well as battling cancer, she was not going to accept being harassed.

 Page 363

Ms. Wheeler describes her talking to her friend Carol who suggested to Joan to write me a letter using her return address. The letter I received was a hate letter informing me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant.

Ms. Wheeler describes me as harassing Carol. (DOC 09)

 Lies, twisting of facts, not reporting the facts as they happened.

Yes, I got a letter from Joan from that address. However, Carol did NOT give Joan permission to use her address. And this is a contradiction of Joan’s behavior. She does not want letters from me, but goes ahead and writes letters to me. When I received the letter from Carol’s house, I went to her house. She wasn’t home and the name on the mailbox was not Joan. I left a note listing my name and address and asked why a harassing letter from Joan came from her house to me. I returned to her house a few days later and Carol said that her and Joan had been friends, had a falling out, and no, she did not give permission for Joan to use her address. Carol said that by doing this, Joan was showing her anger at both me and her. Carol began harassment charges on Joan the next day. While I was at Carol’s house, she informed that Joan had made a death threat against me and the next day, I also began harassment charges against Joan. This was also the same month that the Town of Eden Police (and NOT Gail) filed harassment charges against Joan.

    See DOCS 08 and 09 to see the hate mail that I was receiving from Joan. 09 was the one that came with Carol’s return address and we see again Joan’s history of lying about the outcome of the court cases. She once again states that I was placed on six months probation, which I was not.

 Page 364

Ms. Wheeler says that she was arrested three times in one month due to these three harassment charges.

 Lies. She was not arrested. She was “summoned” to appear in court. An arrest warrant would have been issued if she did not appear in court. Since she did appear for all three of these harassment charges, she was not arrested. Please see accompanying documentation that she was “summoned” into Family Court due to my harassment charge against her. (document number 08).

 Page 364 time frame 1999

Ms. Wheeler describes the judge (a male) as not letting me talk and that he kept cutting me off, and that me and my best friend sat directly in front of her and her mother. She also says that I was waving around a document from the Buffalo Police Academy. She does say that in the court case between me and her, I was given a one-year Order of Protection against her.

 Lies. Combining two different court cases. Contradictory behavior of the judge as reported by Joan.

 The court case that the judge dismissed my harassment charges against Joan was in 1995. It was Judge Margaret Anderson who dismissed the charges saying “sisters should get along.” Judge Anderson did let me speak, and yes, I was not pleased with her decision, but I accepted it. I did not have the document from the Buffalo Police Academy until 1998, where I attended a course there. (DOC 07). A pre-requisite would be a thorough background check on me conducted by the Buffalo Police Department showing that I have a clean record. Which I had, despite Joan saying on page 316 that I was placed under arrest. Part of my harassment charge against Ms. Wheeler was her slandering me by saying that I had an arrest record.

    The court case in 1999 was in Family Court, under Judge Margaret Szczur, who also let me speak, and granted me an Order of Protection against Ms. Wheeler for the duration of one year. I did show the certificate of my graduation from the Academy as proof that I did indeed have a clean record. I did not wave it around, I handed it to the judge. The course was in conjunction with my work with the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs, under the supervision of then Police Commissioner Rocco Diina, and my city councilman __ . Incidentally, it was Councilman ____ who suggested to me that I institute harassment charges against Joan through Family Court.

    If the judge would not let me speak and present my case, why then would she grant me the Order of Protection against Joan.

 Page 365

Ms. Wheeler describes myself and my best friend as loudly proclaiming in the court that we were superior to her because we took the police course.

 Lies. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Mixing up 2 different court cases. My friend did not take the course with me. My friend was not in the court in this case either. The date she accompanied me was in April 1995. As I did not attend the Academy until 1998, this could not have happened. At no time during the three court cases that I was involved in with Ms. Wheeler did I show any disrespect to any judge or court official, nor did I act out in court.

 Page 365

Ms. Wheeler describes me as throwing computer discs at her in the courtroom. She says her manuscript was on the hard drive of the computer and “it was clear that Brenda downloaded the files.”

 Lies. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. When I was at her friend Carol’s house, Carol had told me that she had received as a gift, an old computer from Joan.. She had called Joan a week prior to come and take it back. Joan refused. Carol put it out on her back porch. She informed Joan that it was going in the garbage. When I came to her house, Carol gave it to me, as it was now her property and she could do what she wanted with it. She also gave me a box that contained computer discs. I brought them with me to the court and when Joan’s lawyer approached me to ask me a question, I gave the discs to him to give to Joan, as they were labeled as chapters of her book. I had not looked at the discs. Her manuscript was not on the hard drive of the computer, but on separate computer discs. And how can anyone determine if someone downloaded files by simply looking at a disc?

   As to me throwing things in a court room, if I had thrown computer discs at her in the court room, I would have been arrested for contempt of court. This did not happen, because I never disrespected the court, nor Joan.

 Part 2 of complaint of Ruth Sippel Pace

Re: book, Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler, published by Trafford

 Page 8

“We got drunk one night…Brenda picked up the phone…we were drinking and got silly. Brenda panicked…didn’t know what to do. “ “I remember that phone call, I didn’t know anyone by the name of Brenda. I heard giggles and the phone went dead.”

 I, Ruth called Joan at 1:30pm from Gert’s workplace, a dentist’s office, during a non-patient day, we knew Joan’s name, but not her address. I began calling Wheelers in the phone book. When Joan answered, I did not give my name at all. I did ask for Joan, did ask where she was at bowling the previous night. Joan asked what number did I want, I repeated her number but changed the last digit, Joan told me I had the wrong number, I apologized, said goodbye and ended the call. I was NOT drunk, nor panicky.

 Page 100 – time frame – 1974

“Two days before I left for college, Brenda took me to meet Aunt Doris…she lived 75 miles from Buffalo.”

 I, Ruth, did not know how to drive in 1974, did not learn to drive until 1976.

 Page 174 time frame 1978

“I had Momma’s wedding dress for only four weeks. … my anger at my sisters and father got the better of me. I drove to Brenda’s house. I threw it (the dress) at her.”

 I loaned Ms. Wheeler the dress for the purpose of her having it cleaned and some minor sewing repairs done in the year 1978. She did not return it to me until late 1983, after many pleadings from me to return it. I finally had to ask my father to intervene. Ms. Wheeler brought the dress to my father’s house where I picked it up. The cleaning and repairs were never done.

 Page 186 time frame 1980,

Ms. Wheeler wanted to go public with her adoption story.

“Brenda called and said she was uncomfortable.”

 Lie. In 1980 or 1981, I accompanied Ms. Wheeler to WGRZ television studios to be interviewed by reporter Rich Kellman on our separation and reunion.

 Page 257

“I didn’t want to live in a trailer park to become trailer trash.”

 Bigotry, hate language, value judgment on people who live in trailer parks. 

 Page 263.

 Ms. Wheeler is quoting my father about my father’s second wife, being taken in an ambulance to the psych center. Supposedly he told Ms. Wheeler the arrangements were made for the ambulance to come around noon on a school day, and we kids were coming home for lunch.

“The ambulance attendants took her away in front of the kids.”

 The arrangements that were made were that we kids were picked up at school by social workers and taken to the foster home, so that WE WOULD NOT SEE OUR STEPMOTHER TAKEN AWAY SCREAMING IN AN AMBULANCE. We kids NEVER witnessed this. My father would NOT have made arrangements for this to occur as we were coming home from lunch, as he protected us.

 Page 270 time frame 1988

Ms. Wheeler describes in 3 paragraphs a funeral of my maternal aunt. She says that her adoptive mother attended the funeral. Ms. Wheeler describes my maternal uncle snubbing my father at the funeral and a conversation in the car with my father reminiscing about my mother, “I lost my wife and that man still blames me. How could I stop her from dying?” Then Ms. Wheeler quotes her adoptive mother as giving sage advice to my father about life and dying.

 I was at the funeral. Ms. Wheeler’s adoptive mother did NOT attend the funeral. My uncle may have snubbed my father, they did not get along. I was in the car. My father did NOT say this about my mother. My father very rarely talks about my mother. Ms. Wheeler’s adoptive mother did not give advice to my father in the car, as she was not there.

 Pages 276, 277, 278

Ms. Wheeler describes a fictitious account of her friend Dr. Rene Hoksbergen coming to my house and talking to me about adoption. In these pages, Ms. Wheeler describes me and my husband as exchanging dirty looks, portrays  me as a wild-woman, jumping up and down, waving my arms in the air, screaming at Dr. Hoksbergen and Ms. Wheeler. She also describes Dr. Hoksbergen lecturing me as though I were a child.

 Dr. Hoksbergen NEVER came to my house, and this incident NEVER took place.

 Page 277

“Oh Brenda,” I said, casting a disgusted look at her. “You’re just pissed off because you were trying to get pregnant and couldn’t. Just because you were using a fertility clinic to get pregnant with your partner, something I didn’t know when I wrote my article against sperm donors, doesn’t mean what I wrote is directed at you.”

 Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Invasion of privacy of Ruth Sippel Pace. (what does my not getting pregnant have to do with Joan’s life?) Hate language, insensitivity to infertile women, as well as a blatant lie. This speech never happened. But, I was not pissed off because I couldn’t get pregnant. Hurt, yes. Also I never went to a fertility clinic. I never objected to any article that Ms. Wheeler wrote about sperm donors.

 Pages 296, 297, 298  time frame 1992

Ms. Wheeler describes a scene at a Fourth of July outing in a local park with my father, my brother, my sister Gert McQueen and myself, where Gert and I are supposedly mocking her.

“Heh, she’s useless.” My sisters said sarcastically.

“Yes,” my father continued. “and I want you to know that we want you, Joan, to stop living in the past. You don’t need to be writing about adoption in the newspaper. You should find something worthwhile to do with your life. Taking care of children and writing aren’t getting the bills paid. Look at the others. They’ve done things with their lives. Where are you?”

Ms. Wheeler continues with a description of insults from Gert and “more giggling.”

 This is all totally untrue. Ms. Wheeler continues to the middle of page 298 with the description of this totally fictitious scenario. Ms. Wheeler describes a get-together at my father’s house that she was not invited to. There was no get-together, as my stepmother was at her daughter’s house celebrating her grand-daughters third birthday. Ms. Wheeler knew about this party as she was complaining about it to me on the phone the day before.

 Pages 299, 300

Ms. Wheeler describes a conversation that she had with her mother about the fictitious scene on pages 296-298.

 Character assassination of Leonard Sippel, (my father) Gert McQueen and Ruth Sippel Pace

I did not witness such a conversation, but it could not have happened has the “ridiculing” of Joan never occurred. Ms. Wheeler describes her mother as saying that we sisters started the family gathering in the park. In reality, my dance troupe was booked as performers for the Friendship Festival months in advance by our leader, M. W. with the Buffalo and Erie County Arts Council and The Buffalo Parks Department. As a coincidence, my brother came to town to visit. It was our father who suggested we meet at the park for a small reunion. My neice’s third birthday party was also scheduled with no thought of insulting Joan, her mother, or her husband.

 Page 308

“…my sisters wrote harassing letters in the months after our family reunion of 1992.”

Ms. Wheeler, in italics, presents a narrative that is attributed to have been written by Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Ruth Sippel Pace.

 Lies; character assassination of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Ruth Sippel Pace.

We never wrote harassing letters to Ms. Wheeler.

The letter that Ms. Wheeler attributes to us was never written by any of us three sisters. We believe that Ms. Wheeler wrote this narrative to make it seem that we three sisters “ganged up” on her.

 Page 309

“Why did they attack my work in the Adoption Reform Movement?”

 Lie. We never attacked her work in any adoption reform movement.

 Page 310

Ms. Wheeler continues, in italics, her false narrative of a letter supposedly written by us three sisters. — “My sisters included copies of the long, handwritten letters they wrote to the nine adoption reform movement organizations in the United States at the time. My sisters slandered me in an attempt to ruin my credibility as an advocate for adoption reform.”

   Out of desperation, I called one adoption leader, Joe Soll, Director of the Council of Equal Rights in Adoption in New York City. Yes, he received my sister’s hateful letters.”

 Lies, character assassination of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis, Ruth Sippel Pace and Joe Soll.

In an email exchange in May 2010 between Gert McQueen and Joe Soll, Mr. Soll denies ever receiving: 1. a letter from any or all of us sisters; 2. a telephone call from Ms. Wheeler regarding this letter. In his email, Mr. Soll says that what is written about him in the book is “patently false.”

 Page 311

“Harassment from my three older sisters continued… Hate mail arrived at my house…” Ms. Wheeler quotes her ex-husband as saying to her “You’re crazy just like your sisters.”

 Lies, character assassination of Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Ruth Sippel Pace

We sisters did not send harassing hate mail to her.

 Page 312

“My sisters telephone my house morning, noon and night and in the middle of the night when most people are asleep. My young children often answered the phone and I heard my sisters – their aunts – yelling obscenities at them.”

 Lies. We did not call her house. We did not yell obscenities at her children.

 Page 312, 313

Ms. Wheeler lists obscene language and attributes this language to us.

“You f.. B….”  “You w….”  “You a….. . You f…. c….” “P… on you, you m…-f…”

 Lies. Obscene and pornographic language.

 Page 359

Ms. Wheeler in italics relates a fairly decent letter that she attributes to have written to our brother. I have never seen the original, so I have no way of knowing if what she writes here is true. But in this letter, she tells our brother “…my mother and my children and I are still hounded by harassing mail and phone calls from Brenda and company.”

Returning to the book, Ms. Wheeler then writes “I sent a similar letter to my sisters. I added that whatever they had against me needed to be talked out, resolved, so we could be a family again.”

 Lies, character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace. Slander of Ruth Sippel Pace to her brother.

The letter that I received from Ms. Wheeler was not nice. It was to accuse me of harassing her that her son saw me drive past their house. Which was impossible, because I did not have a car at that time. A few days later I got another letter from Joan. It was to inform me, falsely, that my husband had gotten the next-door neighbor pregnant. – The house was vacant. See DOCS 08 and 09. Read those letters and see if you can find the sentence “whatever they had against me needed to be talked out, resolved, so we could be a family again.”

 Page 359, 360

“My sisters retaliated with yet more hate mail and vicious phone calls. Brenda and her best friend, a tough streetwise woman from the West Side, got in on the act and telephoned my mother, yelling obscenities…Mom held the phone to her ear and mind. I’d hear Brenda’s voice and her best friend’s voice, shouting at us. … “A year of hate mail followed. The envelopes had disguised handwriting and no return address so the police couldn’t trace the mail.”

 Lies. Character assassination of Ruth’s friend.

No phone calls were made by me or my friend to Joan or her mother. No hate mail was sent to Joan.

 Page 360

Ms. Wheeler describes a scene in a grocery store where my friend accosted her and swore at her.

 Lies, obscene language. My girlfriend lived on the East Side of Buffalo, Ms. Wheeler lives in a northern suburb of Buffalo, where she does her grocery shopping. My friend did not have a car, and wouldn’t drive 5 or 6 miles to a grocery store, when there was one less than a mile from her house. Telling sign this is a lie: Ms. Wheeler does not say that she went to a security guard at the store, or even called the police.

 Page 360

Ms. Wheeler involves my cousin Gail, who at the time was battling cancer and going through a divorce. Ms. Wheeler describes taking her car to be repaired and the repair person was one of my cousins, who I had not seen for more than 20 years. Ms. Wheeler says “exactly 10 days later, an anonymous envelope … arrived in the mail….I knew it was Brenda. (the envelope supposedly contained an defaced article about adoption reform).

 Lies. I did not send her any envelope with any article on adoption reform.

 Page 360, 361

Joan describes her sending me a letter begging me to stop bothering her and then I called her on the phone..

 Lies. I did not receive any letter from Joan at this time, nor did I call her.

 Page 365, 366 time frame 1999

Ms. Wheeler describes a falling out she had with my step aunt and uncle and attributes that falling out to me gossiping about her.

 Lies, I had not seen, nor spoken to my step aunt and uncle since about the early 1980’s.

 Page 366

Ms. Wheeler describes herself and her mother being “barraged by harassing phone calls. I recognized the voices as being Brenda and her best friend…”

 Lies, my friend and I did not call her house.

 Page 370

Ms. Wheeler shows a photocopy of a letter she received in the mail that contains pornographic language. She accuses me of sending this to her. It is not my handwriting.  She also blames my friend. Further she states “their language reflected the lifestyles they had chosen.”

 Lies, slander. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace and her freind Hate language directed towards Ruth Sippel Pace and her friend. My lifestyle includes a 38 year career as a Patient Care Associate/Nurse Aide at Buffalo General Hospital; organizer and leader of a block club on my street; member of the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs, which entailed meetings with local elected officials and police officers; being a VIABLE volunteer with the Buffalo Police Department; I am a former professional Middle Eastern Dancer, former board member of the Beledi Club, an organization for Middle Eastern dancers, and Buffalo and Erie Arts Council. In my job I served on various committees designed to improve delivering quality patient care; I have worked in the following departments in my long career at the hospital: Medical Intensive Care Unit, Respiratory Care Unit, Hospice Unit, Kidney Transplant Unit, as well as various medical/surgical units. Due to my work as a neighborhood activist, I organized a rodent containment petition from the 4 streets surrounding my home, (of which I own, one mortgage having been completely paid off, a second mortgage obtained to replace roof), delivering the petition to the mayor of Buffalo, NY. In 1997 when the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs obtained an empty storefront to use as their offices, my husband and I volunteered many hours to provide manual labor, such as installing drywall, painting walls and furniture. As members of the Coalition, I contributed to the monthly newsletter, and helped with the production and distribution of the newsletters, and attended monthly meetings of the Coalition, and did volunteer work at the Coalition Carnival.

 I have attended meetings of the Buffalo Common Council, The Niagara Frontier Transit Authority (to help improve public transportation in Buffalo and the surrounding area), organized neighborhood clean-up drives, block parties on National Night Out. Because of much of my civic volunteering, I have been urged by many people to enter local politics. I include in my personal friends, the director of a well known local art center, several local elected officials, two well-known noted cardiologists, one internal medicine physician, one urologist and two other doctors who I have known since their days as interns in the hospital. I maintain friendships with many registered nurses and other nurses aides. I also trained as a union steward in my local labor union representing nurses aides: SEIU 1199, but eventually turned down the appointment of union steward. This does not deter many nurses aides, as well as registered nurses to approach me on advice on our union contract.

  For the past 10 years, I also have supervised the production of a bi-monthly newsletter of a local Star Trek fan club, of which two years ago, I became the head of. For this group, I have helped organize local Star Trek conventions and manned tables at conventions, greeting fans and Star Trek celebrities alike. I have formed several personal friendships with some Star Trek celebrities. I will not “name-drop” here, and I only mention my friendships with these celebrities, local politicians and health care professionals to point out that I am far from the foul-mouthed ghetto trash that Ms. Wheeler portrays me as in her book.

 My friend has trained as para-legal and also has had many accomplishments in her life.  We are highly insulted to have been labeled as foul-mouthed, ghetto trash.

 Page 375

Ms. Wheeler describes a scene that happened during my cousin Gail’s wake. She alleges that “Dad asked me to make peace Brenda. I approached Brenda with an outstretched hand to shake her hand. ‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ I said. Brenda ran away from me, waving her arms in the air. Through her tears she managed to flash an intense angry glare at me.”

 Lie. Ms. Wheeler did approach me at the wake, calling my name. I ignored her, trying to keep the peace. She called me again. I turned and said “What?” Ms. Wheeler said, “I’m sorry, I know how much Gail meant to you.” I put my hand up to stop her. She was 10 feet away from me. I told her to just leave me alone. I burst into tears and did run out of the funeral home, and my husband and my father both followed me outside. My husband held me and my father said “Joan should not have said anything to you. I will talk to her.” I told my father, “Tell her to leave me alone. Just tell her to leave me alone.”

 Page 381

Ms. Wheeler describes looking at my personal photo albums that I brought to Arizona to attend my brother’s funeral. She recognizes where I had cut her pictures out of my personal photo album.

 This is the basis of her accusation that I had sent her those pictures. I had not – I had thrown the pictures in the garbage.

 Page 382

Ms. Wheeler describes another guest at my brother’s house as objecting to my having my sibling’s birth certificates in my personal photo album.  Ms. Wheeler has woman saying she is a government worker and is telling me that I have these birth certificates illegally.

 Lies. There was no guest at my brother’s house who was a government worker. I obtained my siblings birth certificate legally at Buffalo City Hall by showing proper identification and paying a fee of $35.00 for each birth certificate. As I noted in my introduction, throughout the book, Ms. Wheeler puts words into other people’s mouth, those words usually are her own thoughts and she does this to lend credence to her fantasy that people agree with her on the topic she is writing about. This is one example. Ms. Wheeler cannot obtain HER original birth certificate because she doesn’t have proper identification as a SIPPEL. Therefore she is angry because I do have the proper credentials to obtain SIPPEL birth certificates. To lend credence to her argument that I have the documents illegally, she picks another guest at the house and like a ventriloquist, she writes what she thinks the guest will look good saying in the book.

    The information I was gathering is for the purpose of having a complete family tree. The birth certificates are kept together with my mother’s death certificate. This information is that which used to be included in pages of a family’s bible. This sort of information gathering on families has been done for centuries. Incidentally, NO ONE in the family has objected to my having my siblings birth certificates. My father looked at my photo album while in Arizona, as well as my sister-in-law and my brother’s son. They all saw the birth certificate of my brother, and no one had any objection.

 Page 382

Ms. Wheeler continues her rant about my having my siblings birth certificates and notes that I did not have my younger half-brother’s birth certificate in my photo album. She states “I made a mental note of the deeper meaning in Brenda’s chopped up photo album. This was her attempt to make sense out of her…severed family life.”

 Lie, personal misguided interpretation of someone else’s thoughts. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.

How does Ms. Wheeler know what is in my thoughts? I object to having someone publishing their interpretations of my thought processes published in a book. The reason my younger brother’s birth certificate was not in my photo album was because I had not obtained it at that time, due to time and financial restraints. I did obtain it a few years later and it is in my photo album right now. As to the “chopping up” of my photo album, I had just begun in the year 2002 to obtain the documents and actually organizing my photos. They were in boxes, and now were in albums. And my photo albums are even more chopped up now – I have scanned into my computer a full album’s worth of photos, documents and greeting cards into my computer. And those that I have not given away, or put away to be given to other family members, have been shredded and destroyed. I have done all the work up to the year 1970. If Ms. Wheeler saw my photo albums today with no physical evidence of anything prior to 1970, she would put forth the misguided diagnosis that I have tried to destroy my life prior to 1970. Ms. Wheeler did not ask me WHY my photo album was “chopped up” to include the true reason as to why some things were missing from the album, in her book and she certainly did not obtain my permission to put her interpretations of my life and thoughts into her book. I fail to see what MY goal of scanning into my computer a complete family tree and history of our family has to do with HER adoption and adoption reform work.

 Page 383

Ms. Wheeler describes me as looking at a picture of her son and giving a disgusted grunt and turning away from his picture.

 Lie. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.

 I looked at the picture, nodded, and said, “Mmm.” I was trying to keep the peace by remaining silent. And this is also indicative of Ms. Wheeler’s contradictory attitude towards my thoughts and words and behaviors. If I do or say something regarding her or her children, husband or adoptive mother, or anyone else for that matter, she jumps on me. If I don’t say anything, thinking that by remaining silent I will keep the peace, Ms. Wheeler interprets my silence as haughtiness or a refusal to acknowledge her presence. If I acknowledge her presence, she psycho-analyzes my words and deeds and always finds me in the wrong. In Ms. Wheeler’s eyes, I am damned if I do anything and damned if I don’t do anything. Read the book you published – you will see almost every other page is an attack on Brenda. “Brenda did this, Brenda did that. Brenda DIDN’T do this, Brenda DIDN’T do that.” I can’t win no matter what I do or don’t do. Her hatred of me jumps right off the pages of this book.

 Page 383

Ms. Wheeler describes my husband (Larry in the book) as telling her that I found her “children’s photos in his wallet and yelled at him that she didn’t want him to have anything to do with me and that included cutting off ties with my children.’

 Lie. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace.

 Ms. Wheeler has no way of knowing of any personal conversation I had my husband.  But I did tell him that I did not want him going to Joan’s house because of the trouble she was causing me. He continued to go there to visit with the children. I also repeated my request on July 31, 1993, when he went to her house to help the family move. She over heard me say this to him, and twists the truth around to make me look as though I were a spying shrew, hen-pecking my husband. 

    I don’t look in my husband’s wallet. I did know of the pictures of Ms. Wheeler’s children in his wallet, because my husband showed them to me. And they are still there. I have scanned into my computer those photos only about six months ago, and my husband returned the pictures to his wallet in front of me. As to the subject of “chopping up” photos, Ms. Wheeler needs to answer for her own crime, to which she admits to in the book on page 358:

“once a month or so, I scrambled through the house, bagging up my children’s personal belongings, toys, books, gifts, even Russian nesting dolls I’d given my daughter – and threw them away….During these rages I screamed at my children as if I hated them.”

And she told a cousin of ours two years ago that she her own children’s photos, toys, school work, art work, IN FRONT OF HER OWN CHILDREN.  (of course she didn’t put that in the book).  If her narration in the book of me yelling at my husband for him having photos of her husband or cutting her out of my personal photo album is supposed to be a crime, she is way more guilty than I ever could be. Again, we see where Brenda (supposedly) does (almost) the same thing that Ms. Wheeler does, and should burn in hell for it, whereas Ms. Wheeler is an angel.

 Page 385

Ms. Wheeler describes me as hugging her at the side of our brother’s casket. “We hugged as we sobbed. But her arm dropped as suddenly as she reached out. That would be the last hint of love between us.”

 Half Lies. Character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace

 I did reach out to her. She was standing to my right. I did reach out with my right arm and put it over her shoulder and drew her to me. I do not recall how long I held her. I was grieving my brother and naturally reached out to my sister. Again we see Ms. Wheeler’s psycho-analyzing my every move. If I hung on to her too long, I suppose she would say that I was accepting her back into my life, which I don’t want. I only wanted to comfort her over the death of our brother. In simply reaching out to her in my grief, I showed that I didn’t hate her. And this was only 3 weeks after my meltdown at my cousin Gail’s funeral.

 Page 388

Ms. Wheeler describes an email exchange between regarding actions on a family photo web site I was building.

“Then I made the mistake of bringing up the past in a private email to Brenda. She flew into a rage, wrote me back saying the website was no place to discuss family dirty laundry, even though I didn’t post my email on the website. … I responded by terminating the email account I opened just for communicating with Brenda.”

 Lies. Twisting of the facts.

In 2003, I did build a website. At our brother’s house in Arizona, Ms. Wheeler and I exchanged emails. I needed her email to send an invitation to her to the website. In order to be a member of the website, members DID have to provide the website with their email. Everything was going fine from October 2003 to December 2003. Ms. Wheeler posted a photograph that had my two oldest sisters as children with Santa Claus. Ms. Wheeler had the wrong year on it. I corrected the year. Also moved the photo to the proper forum. As I knew the correct year and as the owner of the site, I had the right to do this. In January 2004, it was Ms. Wheeler who flew into a rage because I had “tampered” with her photo, and accused me of plotting against her. At this time, I did not own a computer of my own. I was doing all online work on public computers. When Ms. Wheeler sent the angry email to me, I was sick for a week and not able to get to a computer. The email got buried. I saw it in April 2004, and could not believe the nonsense. For three months, we were getting along, building a family photo website, (which should dispel any erroneous conclusions that I was trying to make sense out of my severed life, as she puts forth on page 382. (see what I mean about her contradictory interpretations of me? And how she contradicts herself in her own book?). I did answer her email as soon as I saw it. I asked her why was she bringing up the past – why can’t we just go forward? I never said anything about posting family dirty laundry on the website or in my email – (I still have the actual email exchange that proves what she said to me, and my response). 

 Page 389

Ms. Wheeler quotes my father as saying “Education, that’s what I needed….if I had more education, I would have kept you. … if I had education, none of this would have happened.  If someone would have told me how to keep you.“

 Lies. Character assassination of Leonard Sippel

Although I was not present to hear this conversation, I know my father would not, COULD not have said this. My father WAS educated. He worked as a civil engineer/draftsman in Buffalo’s City Hall in the Streets Department. (Ms. Wheeler portrays him as an uneducated laborer, working as a machinist in the book). Ms. Wheeler is insinuating here that if my father was better educated he would not have given her up for adoption. It wouldn’t have mattered. The bare fact is that whatever level of education my father had, whatever occupation he had, he still would have had to go to work everyday to earn money to support his family. He could not do this with an infant. There were no daycare centers in 1956, nor welfare system as we have today. Nor was any family member able to help out. My father’s hands were tied. It is Ms. Wheeler’s continual refusal to face these facts that has her once again, putting words into people’s mouths to support her delusions and fantasies.

 Page 393

Ms. Wheeler discusses her mother sharing photographs of her with her aunts and says: “…my aunts gave these pictures to my natural mother’s sister.”

 Lie. My aunt Catherine had only ONE photograph of Joan, taken of her First Holy Communion.

 Page 423

“…my sisters and brother suffered serious, extended childhood trauma. These facts resulted in them imposing trauma on me…”

 Lies; speculation on MY childhood experiences; character assassination of Ruth Sippel Pace, Gert McQueen, Kathy Inglis and Leonard Sippel Jr.

These are NOT facts, these are Ms. Wheeler’s statements due to her personal faulty interpretation of our childhood, of which she did not share. Ms. Wheeler is not trained as a doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist or any where in the medical field. She has a degree in social work, but as she has never worked as such, she has no experience in the field. Also, I was never interviewed by a qualified child psychologist (much less Ms. Wheeler) in a medical or similar setting about my childhood. What are Ms. Wheeler’s qualifications to pronounce judgment on MY mental health, my childhood, my life experiences? Or my siblings? And she has no right to publish her OPINIONS on this matter concerning me or my family. I would suggest anyone reading this paragraph read again my life accomplishments, (listed above) and consider my lack of any substance abuse, criminal record or any other anti-social behavior. Read The Book and read Ms. Wheeler’s own admissions of her anti-social behavior, alcoholism, thoughts and threats of suicide.

 Page 490

Ms. Wheeler is describing my father (her natural father)

“Poor, advanced to working class 1950’s, advanced to middle-middle class in 1970’s.”

 Lies, character assassination of Leonard Sippel

Ms. Wheeler does NOT portray the true facts about her own natural father, my father.

My father started work for the City of Buffalo in Street Paving Department as a civil-engineer/draftsman on July 20, 1953 and maintained that position until his retirement on September 17, 1988. From 1965 to 1970, he also maintained a part time second job as salesman at Sears. In 1965, he bought a house, the first in his family to own property. He also had 4 teenagers at home, which in the 1960’s, as well as today, is an expensive obligation. Kids and houses are NOT cheap. My father married his third wife in October 1970, and after having a child with him (along with her two daughters from a previous marriage), went back to work as a nurse’s aide in 1972. I was also employed as a nurse’s aide and lived at home and helped take care of the children. The reason my father “advanced to middle-middle class in the 1970’s was because for the first time in his life, he was a member of a two-income family (actually three-income, when I was there 1972 – 1974).  My father sold his house in 1975 and took a spacious apartment. The rent was cheaper than the mortgage and all the expenses related to owning a house. This also helped his financial status.

 Page 491

Ms. Wheeler is discussing my father’s second wife.

“How this step-mother was removed from the home, in front of her son and step-children was a form of cruelty to her and emotional trauma to the children. Witnessing their mother and step-mother being carried away in a straight-jacket had lasting effects on them.”

 Lies. We children NEVER witnessed this. I myself did not learn of her being taken away in a straight jacket until about 15 years when my sister Gert told me about it. What happened was – my stepmother was having severe mental problems. My father told me once that she was examined by a doctor and it was decided that she should be placed in the psychiatric hospital in Buffalo. He told me that it was all arranged and the day she was placed there, social workers came to our school and picked up us children and took us to the foster home (Gert and Kathy) and the orphanage (me and my brothers).  My father was with me and my brothers – I remember him holding my hand as we entered the orphanage run by the Catholic nuns and the huge statue of St. Joseph welcoming us. Gert was about 12 at the time. She told me about 15 years ago, that when she was about 17 or 18, she went back to our old neighborhood to visit some old friends and the mother of one of our childhood friends (who lived across the street from us) told her of the day that our step-mother was placed in the ambulance, in a straight jacket, and she was screaming. All the neighbors witnessed it and they all said it was sad, but were glad that we children were not around to see it. Even the times that my stepmother came home from the psych center and me and my brothers came home from the orphanage, our landlord, landlady, and neighbors NEVER told us what happened. As I said, I myself never knew about it until about 15 years ago (c 1995), much less witnessed it in 1959. Ms. Wheeler had been adopted out of our family in 1956, her family moved to Tonawanda, New York and was not there.

 Page 529, 530, 531, 532

Ms. Wheeler again is accusing me and my sisters of harassing her.

(529) “…their joint letter writing campaign after our family reunion in 1992. The following year they wrote lengthy letters to the major adoption reform organizations to tell them what an asshole I was.” (530) “…looking back, now I can see they are tortured souls.” (531) “Each one of my sisters had something to hide, something they did not want me to write about, which I have not written about. … They chose to harass and mock me, so I wrote about it.”  “Harassing my husband…Calling our home and yelling obscenities at the our young children. … Calling the home of my boyfriend…. Calling the Child Abuse Hotline and accusing my then 80 year old mother, and me, of sexual abuse.”

 All lies. Slander, threats.

Many of these lies have already been addressed. But now is added this new statement that each one of her sisters have something to hide. This implies a threat. I have no idea to what Ms. Wheeler is alluding to here. I have nothing to hide. As I stated above: I do not engage in criminal or anti-social behavior, do not abuse substances (I barely drink), I have had a long career as a health-care worker (38 years with the same employer), and have been involved in the performing arts and as a neighborhood activist. When I took a course at the Buffalo Police Academy, a background check was done on me, and nothing showed up. So just what is my secret that Joan Wheeler thinks she has over me?

 Page 531

“I wrote about my sisters, and anyone else, at the point where our lives intersected.”

 Lie. Falsely writing about me and my siblings witnessing my siblings witnessing our step-mother being placed in an ambulance is not a point where our lives intersected. As I stated above, Ms. Wheeler was adopted out of our family in 1956, and the event took place in 1959. Yes, the Wheelers did coincidentally lived one block over in 1956, then they moved three blocks away shortly after adopting her, and in 1957, they moved several miles away from us. Ms. Wheeler’s life did not intersect with ours until 1972, when I was placing phone calls to Wheelers in the phone book and her life did not fully intersect with ours until 1974 when we were physically reunited with her.

Even so, this “intersection” of our lives does not give her the right to violate our privacy and tell lies about us in this book.

 Page 532

Ms. Wheeler discusses our brother.

“Our sisters poisoned him against me for 11 years.”

 Lies, speculation.

We did not “gossip” to our brother about Joan.  And how does she even know a time duration for this? It was Joan herself who was calling him, writing letters to him and trashing us to him and his wife that turned him against Joan. He quite naturally became disgusted with having his sisters trashed. Proof – Ms. Wheeler admits to trashing us to him on page 359, as I have already addressed this issue. I repeat it:

page 359

Ms. Wheeler in italics relates a fairly decent letter that she attributes to have written to our brother. I have never seen the original, so I have no way of knowing if what she writes here is true. But in this letter, she tells our brother “…my mother and my children and I are still hounded by harassing mail and phone calls from Brenda and company.”

People are now being informed about the demise of Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler May 23, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen
 
There are so many people that have to be informed about the removal of Joan Wheeler’s book of lies. Here I want to share a couple of emails that I sent but have not received any reply. No reply is really needed, it is the information that they received that is important. I’ve only just begun to spread the word!

To: joesoll@adoptionhealing.com 

Cc: Gert McQueen

Sent: Fri, May 13, 2011 1:43:15 PM
Subject: about book Forbidden Family

Mr. Soll,

 I want to inform you about the recent development regarding the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler. As you may recall I had written to you a few months back and your reply was very helpful. Thank you again for that reply.

 In recent months I, and my other sister Ruth, have informed the publisher, Trafford Publications, of the many errors, outright lies, slanderous and libelous statements and other various forms of hate speech in the book. We provided documented proof of those assertions. We asked them to review it and pull it from publication.

 That is what has recently happen. Trafford pulled the book, will not print any more copies of the book, as it is, and any rewrite that Joan Wheeler submits, will be very very carefully looked at.

 It is unfortunate that such a book, as written by Joan, was used to promote adoption reform. I’m sure that she will continue with the belief that it is an accurate account and valuable for her causes and agendas; that  view is strictly untrue and it and that book will not help the true cause of adoption reform.

 Again, this note is just to inform you of the dispension of birth family’s quest to have a book of lies and hate, that Joan wrote, was indeed removed from publication.

 Thank you very much

 Gert McQueen

 To: lewellen.singley@gmail.com
Cc: Gert McQueen

Sent: Fri, May 13, 2011 1:42:47 PM
Subject: about book Forbidden Family

Ms. LewEllen,

 I want to inform you about the recent development regarding the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler. As you may recall I had written to you a few months back regarding a submission by Joan to your publication offices. You and I then had a brief email exchange.

 In recent months I, and another sister, have informed the publisher, Trafford Publications, of the many errors, outright lies, slanderous and libelous statements and other various forms of hate speech in the book. We provided documented proof of those assertions. We asked them to review it and pull it from publication.

 That is what has recently happen. Trafford Publications pulled the book, will not print any more copies of the book, as it is, and any rewrite that Joan Wheeler submits, will be very very carefully looked at.

 It is unfortunate that such a book, as written by Joan, was used to promote adoption reform. I’m sure that she will continue with the belief that it is an accurate account and valuable for her causes and agendas; that  view is strictly untrue and it and that book will not help the true cause of adoption reform.

 This note is just to inform you of the dispension of birth family’s quest to have a book of lies and hate, that Joan wrote, was indeed removed from publication. I seriously wonder how any submission, on any aspect of adoption reunions, written by Joan Wheeler, would be of any benefit to the many that truly need quality advise. But that is your call.

 Thank you very much

 Gert McQueen 

Blog postings of recent correspondences by Gert McQueen and Ruth Pace to several individuals to refute lies told by Joan M. Wheeler in her book Forbidden Family May 14, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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by Ruth Sippel Pace

Readers of this blog may notice the publication on this blog of correspondences that Gert and myself have had with some individuals. This is being done in the interest of full disclosure of what we have said and to whom. Because Gert and I are not liars.

BUT FIRST AN UPDATE, MAY 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

We NOW continue with this post….

Contrary to what Joan Wheeler accuses us of we are NOT contacting various adoption reform agencies and professionals and calling her an asshole. Nor have we EVER told her to commit suicide. Not on this blog, not in any form of communication to her, through third-party contact, or even on the internet.

Therefore, we are making public any past correspondences we have sent to ANYone concerning Joan Wheeler and the book Forbidden Family, and their replies, if any. We did this back in September 2010, when we contact Mr. Joe Soll, who replied within a half hour of receiving an email from Gert concerning a 40 page letter that the Three Sippel Sisters supposedly wrote and sent to Joan in 1992, “kicking her out of the family.” Joan tells of this letter in her book. This is a complete fabrication, there was NEVER a 40 page letter written by us and sent to her. Joan expands her lie to say that we also sent copies of this letter to various adoption agencies. She then says in the book that she herself made a copy of it and sent it to Mr. Soll, and then had a phone conversation with him, discussing this letter.

In his return email to Gert, Mr. Soll denies any knowledge of this letter, and further says that what Joan writes about him in her book is “patently false.” – so much for her asserting that she is telling the truth in her book, when Mr. Joe Soll says emphatically that she lied about him.

The only time prior to 2010 that any adoption reform agency was ever contacted was ONCE in 1990, after Joan published a short story called “The Secret is Out” in a European adoption reform journal. In this article, Joan used our real names, without our permission or prior knowledge. ONE and ONLY complaint was ever made, and I believe it was one typewritten page!

Never in any correspondence that we have engaged in, have we EVER called Joan an asshole or any other name. As for her claims that we have urged her to commit suicide, nope – on the contrary, in our correspondences, we have urged those who know Joan to reason with her and to seek professional help! Just as we have done on this blog – we have urged Joan many times on this blog, as we had done in person in the past – to seek professional help and get some medication and to stop her anti-social behaviors.

Joan does not produce any proof that we have written to people and agencies and called her an asshole. The only name she produced was Joe Soll, and he disavowed any knowledge of her claim! She does not produce this “40 page letter” she claims we wrote. She does not copy and paste or give the url link to prove to people that we have urged her to commit suicide. She just runs her mouth, and gives no proof to her charges.

We, on the other hand, DO give the proof – the evidence – of all that we say and do. Whatever we say on any internet forum – we copy and paste what we have written, AND provided the url link to the site so that readers can double check that what we say on this blog, is the TRUTH!

We deal in truth. Joan deals with falsehoods. It’s just as plain and simple as that. 

addendum, May 15, 2011, 1:00pm

I have on file scanned copies of the complaint that was sent protesting the use of our true names in Joan Wheeler’s short story “The Secret is Out.” I shall be composing a blog post detailing this invasion of our privacy by Joan Wheeler in the year 1990, and will post the complaint about said use of our names in publication WITHOUT our knowledge or permission. And there is not ONE reference to Joan as an “asshole.”

In 1992, my sister Kathy Inglis, received a condescending letter from Joan’s friend, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen. this was due to Joan not shipping to England several boxes of personal belongings of Kathy, who had sent Joan money orders to cover the shipping costs. Joan refused to ship the belongings, and involved Dr. Hoksbergen in Kathy’s personal life, by lying to Dr. Hoksbergen that it would cost about $500.00 to ship over the belongings, and Joan did not have the money. (what happened to the money that Kathy sent – Joan used it for her own living expenses, because she was too lazy to get off her butt and get a job). My father eventually got involved, took a cab to Joan’s house to collect Kathy’s belongings and shipped them over to her to the final cost of $150.00. And Joan did NOT return all of the belongings. – missing are valuable Beatles collectibles. My father shipped over vinyl records, which as I said, cost him $150.00. Nowhere near the $500.00 Dr. Hoksbergen was led to believe it would cost.

Kathy wrote a letter to Dr. Hoksbergen, in essence, telling him to mind his own business. And she wrote a letter of complaint to Utrecht University because of his unprofessional manner in sticking his nose into our family business. Gert also sent off a letter to Dr. Hoksbergen, again telling him to mind his own business. And in these three missives, there is no mention of Joan Wheeler of being an asshole. And I have the scanned copies of these letters, and they will be posted to this blog as proof that we may have contacted “adoption reform professionals,” but with good reason, and we never used those letters to call Joan an asshole.

As stated above, we Sippel Sisters deal in the Truth, and provide proof of it with written documentation. Joan deals in falsehoods and offers no proof of anything that comes out of her mouth.

NOTE FROM GERT…May 9, 2016…what is said in this post…long before I had my own computer and internet access and was using Ruth’s blog…is the TRUTH. We don’t have to lie for we did NOT WRITE A BOOK against anyone. We have only ever DEFENDED OUR AND OUR FAMILY’S REPUTATIONS AGAINST THE SICK LIES OF JOAN M WHEELER

Getting Back to Basics – Refuting the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler December 24, 2010

Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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The past couple of months have been quite busy. Joan Wheeler has been upset because we found and refutted some major lies in her book Forbidden Family, published by Trafford Publishing. We posted an email from adoption expert Joe Soll wherein he said what Joan reported about him in the book was “patently false.” We posted an open letter to adoption expert Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, who wrote the forward to the book, because he wrote an unprofessional review of the book, based on his belief of some Joan’s lies. He never bothered to check out the facts of some of the things Joan alleges in the book, took Joan’s word as gospel truth, and by doing so, is a partner in the sullying of Gert McQueen’s character. Joan didn’t like this, took the stance that we were “pestering adoption experts,” and began attacking us on various places on the internet. And we answered every one of her attacks with our truths!

But now the time has come to get back to the major thrust of this blog – Refuting the Book Forbidden Family.

Gert has already written several posts, and they are backlogged right now. Our method is, Gert writes her review, going through the book page by page, sometimes paragraph by paragraph, then I read it, and the chapters and pages in the book that Gert is writing about, I add my own comments, or whole separate post, and then it all gets posted on the blog. Our next section will be Chapter 22, which begins, coincedentally, on page 222. I have other committments in my life, but this section will be posted the first week in January 2011.

In the meantime, to refresh anyone’s memories, or to get new readers up to speed on some of the more blatant lies we have found in the book, here is a listing of posts wherein we have found lies, and the TRUTH behind those lies. You can find these and more by looking at the list of categories over on the right hand side and seeing posts listed under those categories. by the way, many of these posts are accompanied with graphics – I have scanned actual court documents, photographs, even letters written by Joan herself, which prove without a shadow of a doubt that she LIED in the book.

A Listing of Lies told by Joan Wheeler in her book Forbidden Family and elsewhere

Lies in the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler

the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler is full of lies

Forbidden Family, by Joan Wheeler pages 316, 324, and 330 Clear evidence of lies

A most vile and hateful lie in Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family

A Challenge to Joan Wheeler – Would You Please Explain the Various Court Documents and YOUR own Letters That Prove YOU are a LIAR?

Open letter to Professor Rene Hoksbergen and rebuttal of his “professional” review of Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler

Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family – Personal psychodrama, lies and other things that don’t belong in a book.

Joan Wheeler – Forbidden Family Chapter 14 – Refutted!

Joan Wheeler LIES about Dr. Rene Hoksbergen in her book Forbidden Family

HIGH ALERT EVIDENCE of Joan Wheeler’s lies FROM A PERSON IN AN ADOPTION REFORM ORGANIZATION(Mr. Joe Soll)

 Joan tells a vicious lie about her own godparents on page 319 of Forbidden Family

 Why did Joan Wheeler write her book Forbidden Family? pure and simple: it is for revenge!

 Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family deliberately falsifiies the facts

 Joan Wheeler issues press release for her “new” book – no, it’s still the stupid book of idiotic lies, and even her press release is bull.    (and after we complained to the webhost, her press release got yanked, due to the falsehoods in her book)

 Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler should be revised

 What is demanded from Joan Wheeler – the purpose of this blog.

 Kathy Inglis’ answers to Joan Wheeler’s caricature of her in the book Forbidden Family

 Guessing Game Time – What year did that child abuse call against Joan Wheeler really occur? 1993? 1994? 1995? 1996? Joan has reported all 4 years! -why can’t she make up her mind?

 Joan Wheeler, in her book Forbidden Family, can’t tell the difference between a dog and a cat. WTF?

1. LisaMarie – January 5, 2011 
I have been reading your blog. It makes sense to me. I came to your sight in reading about adoption reform (I oppose adoption reform- I am for mutual consent). I relize that is not your interest. However, that is how I have read about your sister, half orphan. She needs help. She says she is a social worker. I wouldn’t want her to work with anyone I know. Perhaps that is why she is unemployed. I find the whole group of reformers to be full of hate, self centered and many should get psychological help. Any normal person beside reformer could read you blog and understand what went on. A different time, a difficult situation that your whole family has gone through. You and your sisters and dad are dealing with life your sister is stuck in a pity party and will never move on. Her life will be miserable until she gets the help to deal with the issues she has. As much as I would like to say move on forget about her till she gets help I realize that those of us who are not pro the adoption reform movement but blieve in mutual consent who would happen upon your sight would not get to hear the other side of the poor Joan story she portrays in forums and comment sections of articles. Your story needs to be heard. So I say continue your blogging. I’m one more person following. Not knowing your family, being of your generation your story make more sense. A dad with several children to take care of without help at a time where there wasn’t gov’t help he thought he was giving Joan a better chance at life. Your life was no less difficult. We all deal with tragedy, hardships and heartaches. I understand some adoptees including Joan may have feelings about adoption but the fact is your dad and family (as most family do) did the best they could with the situation. It’s to bad Joan lives in a dark place that she can’t enjoy her life and move on. What will happen to her when the reform movement ends her life will really be over. She needs to portray herself as she does, she needs to twist the story to fit her needs, without she has nothing, it is what she lives for. Sad for her, unfortunate for your family. Good luck to you

2. Ruth – January 5, 2011
thank you Lisa Marie
I would love to just throw my hands up in the air and see “fuhgedabout it!”

But what people don’t realize is that in her book, and on the internet, Joan has SMEARED MY CHARACTER! By saying that I, Ruth Pace has an arrest and criminal record is DAMAGING to me. If I were to apply for a new job or career THIS COULD HURT ME!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED IN MY LIFE- I HAVE NEVER BEEN ON PROBATION!
Who does Joan think she is that she LIES about me?
I would sue her, but what would I get? She ain’t got nothing. Would I try to take her house? please – I don’t want it. The county taxes alone are over $2100.00. Mine are only $129.00. – cos we get the veteran’s exemption. And I love my own house. a bit raggedy, but it’s MINE. I already paid off the mortgage once, but put on a new roof and porch.
And oh, the pity party for poor Joan – she has arthritis in her neck – (as she reports in her book). oh my! Well I have scoliosis – curvature of the spine AND arthritis in the spine. Back pain and I are old friends. Yet I work in a job that requires heavy lifting. AND I have a touch of IBS,
AND I have chronic sinus troubles. AND I got hot flashes AND thyroid problems with major fatique problems AND just started 12 hour shifts. But I get my ass to work! It ain’t fun to empty a bedpan with poo, BUT I DO IT TO PUT FOOD ON MY TABLE AND ROOF OVER MY HEAD. With today’s economy, sure, I got my financial struggles too. But then I WORK OVERTIME! I have at times worked EIGHT NIGHTS IN A ROW! Because I AM AN ADULT WHO HAS HAD A JOB WITH THE SAME PLACE FOR 38 YEARS.
So why doesn’t Joan get off her lazy butt and get a job? Because then she would be a self-sufficient ADULT. And then she wouldn’t be wallowing in poverty and then she would have one less thing to whine about and garner sympathy.
I will continue to blog my truth and the reform puppets and Joan can simply lump it. Because I don’t feel sorry for them at all.

. Gert – January 5, 2011
thank you Lisa Marie…you said:
“She needs help. She says she is a social worker. I wouldn’t want her to work with anyone I know. Perhaps that is why she is unemployed.”

We, the birth family, have known that Joan needed help after about the first year we knew her…give or take around 1975! Joan has never worked as a social worker, period and never will. She can’t work because she has too many psychological problems and can’t keep herself together to hold down a job. She herself describes her afflications in great detail in the book, she is only a social worker on paper. She ought become her first client.

And while I think about it, does and will NYState disability know that Joan is collecting $$$ from the sale of that book of lies? If she is collecting any sales monies she had better reported it to the State, if she doesn’t that’s called fraud.

Lisa Marie also said:
“I find the whole group of reformers to be full of hate, self centered and many should get psychological help. Any normal person beside reformer could read you blog and understand what went on.”

I’m guessing that there are some real reformers out there, but, those types that you are talking about, on that forum, which Joan is one, are not reformers, but bullys…they go out on the internet
and browbeat potential adoptive parents and adoptive parents from adopting because they are against adoption because they think adoption is the cause of their individual and collective sicknesses. Instead they ought to grow up and accept the life that was given them and change themselves and be happy for a life…but no…

These people are just plain sick…but that does not given them nor Joan, in this case, the right to lie about my life and those in my family…hence…that is why we have this refuting blog…and yes…we are not done…we shall be back with more…

We have lives, so when our individual lives allow us to get back to business, we shall continue…don’t you worry!

Thank you again, Lisa
“Your story needs to be heard. So I say continue your blogging. I’m one more person following.”

We shall!

Open letter to Professor Rene Hoksbergen and rebuttal of his “professional” review of Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler October 14, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters.
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UPDATE…NOV 2015…

Joan M Wheeler has published a new ‘revision’ of the same old hate manifesto and renamed it ‘Duped by Adoption’. I have created a new blog and Facebook page…

Here are the links to my NEW blog and Facebook page

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

On Amazon, I have reviewed 7 reviews of this ‘new’ garbage book and created a ‘discussion’ on the Forward, by Rene Hoksbergen.

Here’s the link to the DISCUSSION about the FORWARD on Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/about-the-FORWARD-/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/Tx2ACMKSGGGG4SV/1/ref=cm_cd_dp_tp_cq?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW&cdSort=oldest#Mx16G15LCZTNM4X

Here’s the link to a recent blog post Nov 3, 2015 about the contents of the forward

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/11/03/doesnt-rene-hoksbergen-have-anything-better-to-do-in-his-retirement-than-to-continue-to-use-joan-m-wheelers-families-as-whipping-posts-in-a-new-forward/

Here are the related links to blog posts that Ruth and I have already written and addressed topics related to Rene Hoksbergen, the author of the Forward.

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2011/12/23/was-rene-hoksbergen-ever-really-a-friend-to-joan-wheeler-or-did-she-just-use-him-like-she-does-everyone/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/gert-mcqueens-review-of-rene-hoksbergens-review-of-forbidden-family-by-joan-wheeler/     this one is about the review in LAVAContact2  2010 English translation

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/26/reposting-from-gert-mcqueens-blog-was-rene-hoksbergen-ever-really-a-friend-to-joan-wheeler-or-did-she-just-use-him-like-she-does-everyone-originally-published-on-december-23-2011/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/05/16/emails-from-willem-koops-former-colleague-of-retired-professor-rene-hoksbergen-palsie-walsie-of-joan-wheeler/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/09/20/joan-wheeler-lies-about-dr-rene-hoksbergen-in-her-book-forbidden-family/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/10/14/open-letter-to-professor-rene-hoksbergen-and-rebuttal-of-his-%E2%80%9Cprofessional%E2%80%9D-review-of-forbidden-family-by-joan-wheeler/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/10/14/

continuing on with this POST…

The following was emailed to Professor Rene Hoksbergen on 14 October 2010. Dr. Hoksbergen is professor of adoption studies at Utrecht University in Utrecht, Holland and wrote the foreward to the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler. In 1993, at Joan Wheeler’s behest, Dr. Hoksbergen involved himself  in our family  in an unprofessional manner, by writing a letter to Kathy Inglis in England. Joan lied to Dr. Hoksbergen and manipulated him into writing to Kathy. Apparently Dr. Hoksbergen, despite a formal complaint having been made to Utrecht University in 1993 over his invasion of Kathy’s privacy, continues his unprofessional behavior. We Three Sippel Sisters protest this man, a stranger to us, and his continual prying into our personal lives.

Doctor R. Hoksbergen                                       

I am Gert McQueen, birth sister of Joan Wheeler, author of the book Forbidden Family, of which you wrote the Foreword in August 2006 and a Review in 2010, month not indicated.

I have had the book since February 2010 and have been reading and writing about this book of lies since then. The first time I saw, in English translation, your review of this book was the first week of October 2010 and Doctor I must say that I am appalled!

Myself and two other birth sisters have a web blog wherein we are refuting this book of lies. The blog is called refuting a book of lies and may be reached at https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com I urge you to really read our blog very carefully to understand how we, the birth family, have been used and abused by Joan, not the other way around.

One reason, for writing to you, is to call your professionalism into question. Doctor, you have never met me, never spoke with me, never wrote to me, never checked facts about me or my family, and yet, you have the audacity to assume and then assert that what Joan Wheeler told you was truth! Doctor you are wrong! Joan is wrong!

Another reason for my writing is to address the various character assassinations, to which you give credence to, via the lies of Joan’s, in particular that of sexual abuse by of one Joan’s sisters, me, to her. The truth, Doctor, was that it never happened! Joan made up the story to cover up the fact that she herself initiated a three-way sexual encounter with my husband and myself! That story, of course, is NOT in the book because she lies and blames everyone else for her own misdeeds!

There is no way to explain to you in a short letter the amount of lies, fabrications and harm that Joan has done, in real life and in this book, to others as she covers up her own dirty deeds. The very reason that she ‘insists’ that I sexually abused her and her assertion that I abused my daughter was to ‘get back’ at my husband and me because we didn’t want to continue the sexual experiment that Joan wanted.

We had been forced to take many steps to remove Joan from interfering with my minor children! Beginning when Joan interfered with my and my husband’s ADOPTION of my own birth child! Joan was very militant and angry that we were ADOPTING, accusing me of being unfit! When she was told we didn’t want her opinions she then interfered with our parental authority, going behind my back to instill in my minor children that they did not need to obey the family’s core values that we set for our family. Joan went so far as to lie to police and family about the whereabouts of my minor child during a runaway episode. She then charged me with child abuse and filed for custody of my children. I was forced to put my child into foster care, for her own safety and to keep her away from Joan, while we fought the charges that Joan filed against us. My husband and I were proved innocent of all charges that were asserted by Joan. I have court documents to prove that statement. I moved my family far away from Joan. All this was in 1981/82! But you Doctor did not check the facts but instead gave credibility to Joan’s lies…stating so in your review!

Joan manipulated you into writing to my sister Kathy, who lives in England, in the 1990s. That episode of Joan’s was over money that was already paid to Joan for services she never did for Kathy. Joan blames everything and everyone for her own inabilities and in this case Joan was also guilty of stealing! But, you Doctor, on behalf of Joan, wrote a very intimidating and condescending letter to my sister, who was blameless and the victim of Joan’s and then was victimized again by you!  You did not check the facts!  (Ruth’s note: please see the post Joan Wheeler LIES about Dr. Rene Hoksbergen in her book Forbidden Family  to see actual scanned and posted documents: Dr. Hoksbergen’s letter to Kathy, where he says it would cost around $500.00 for Joan to ship things to her in the UK; a letter from Joan acknowledging that she had already recieved monies to do the shipping; AND the actual invoices from my father totaling around $150.00 that my father paid out of HIS pocket to ship the items, this AFTER Joan received the money from Kathy, then never repaid. This was clearly an extortion attempt by Joan Wheeler, and she used her “dear” friend to try to extort money from Kathy).

In Joan’s book, she has a total fabrication of lies about your meeting my sister Ruth, her husband and other members of my family in the 1990s. You, Doctor, were never in Ruth’s home, never met her husband and never had the conversations that Joan’s asserts that you did have! Did you really meet my father as Joan states? Did you check your facts before you wrote the review of this book? You really ought to read chapter 25, very enlightening! Joan portrays you as being ‘a very dear friend’, how dear Doctor?

Joan also lies and fabricates in the book about Joe Soll, whom I have already contacted about those lies. Mr. Soll says that what is in the book, about him, is ‘patently false’. (Ruth’s note: see the post: HIGH ALERT EVIDENCE of Joan Wheeler’s lies FROM A PERSON IN AN ADOPTION REFORM ORGANIZATION   to see the email exchange between Gert McQueen and Mr. Soll).  My sisters and I have already written about these episodes of lies and fabrications on our web blog; we encourage you to read them. To narrow down the search for you, in the following dates you are mentioned on our blog, Jan 7, March 27, June 28 and Sept 23. We are of course not completed with our review, refuting and rebuttals of this book of lies!

When did you, Doctor, last read the manuscript? Did you read it before or after the 2006 date of the foreword? Joan had updated and revised much in the manuscript since then, even noting so on page 410 dated March 2008. And on page 416 she states she was 53. She was 53 in 2009 the year the book was published! For you to assume the correction of facts in the book, without interviewing family members, is a gross misuse of your position in the world of Adoption Reform!

Our father saw a revision about 2008 and said that it was a ‘piece of garbage and she will never finish it’. Joan is still revising it, on her web site! Shortly after seeing the 2008 revision, my father was forced, again, to remove Joan from his presence because of her intense manipulation and confrontations towards him. 

What Joan has done, and with your approval Doctor, is to have taken a very tragic family situation, the death of a mother and the adoption out of an infant and has used it to exploit that tragedy for the pursuit of fame, fortune and personal gratification with total disregard for the reputations of members of birth and adoptive families. For this Joan ought to be utterly ashamed. For your part in this Doctor you ought to ashamed. Do you have any idea of the pain that your lack of professionalism, by not checking out the facts, has done to members of the two families of Joan? You have no right to insinuate yourself into any position of knowing what happened to my family! We did not give you permission!

Since 1982, I have had two contacts, one physical in 1992 and one phone call in 2005 or 06, with Joan, both times were attempts, on my part to reconcile with her, but at both times, after she smiled to my face, as soon as my back was turned, she betrayed me. For her to have truly welcomed my love as a sister, who wanted to reconcile with her, would have meant that Joan could not publish her ‘life’s work’, the book and that is unthinkable to Joan. So instead of reconciling she continued to betray myself and others, by publishing a book of lies and garbage! It is only since the publication of this book of lies that I have spoken out. I shall continue to do so until Joan pulls the book from all sales. That book and Joan’s activities are a disgrace to the honor of two families.

I, and my sisters, ask that you print a retraction of your foreword and review of this book. We also ask that you stop promoting this book as factual, for it is a product of a Joan’s diseased mind.

This letter, along with a copy of my paragraph-by-paragraph review of your review, will be posted on our blog and is being sent to a select list of adoption reform agencies or persons. In the past Joan has accused me of sending letters to many adoption agencies. I never did that, but now I MUST to demand that my and my family’s, good name be restored to us.

Thank you, Gert McQueen

 ~~~~~~~Gert McQueen’s comments on this review are in bold itatic.

Review of Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family by Rene Hoksbergen in LAVAContact2  2010 English translation.

This autobiographical study of Joan Wheeler read with the necessary tension on the way things will go. Despite the extensive and detailed description of the many events and feelings over a period of almost fifty years.

This book is a detailed description of a tormented individual that has a great need to have the world fit her delusions. No one lives in a vacuum and by the very nature of writing about one’s own inner demons it becomes very subjective in nature and all peoples in it must fit that subjective mindset. The ‘necessary tension’ is the result of the author’s inabilities to accept life as life was given to her. The ‘extensive and detailed description’ is just over-kill and only points to a mentally unbalanced individual. Perhaps if the author actually lived a life instead of always writing ‘the book’ she and it would not be so full of torment!

It consists of two parts. The autobiography of Joan and then part two with lots of information about the American adoption history and its current situation. In this second part she makes her findings and suggestions for improvements.

Part 1, is full of sensationalized drama, with intent to sell the story, the book! The author uses, extensively, the techniques of exaggeration and hyperbole along with fabrications and outright lies. 38 chapters consisting of 569 pages are devoted to the study of the autobiography of Joan’s tormented views!

Part 2, which ought to be the more useful part of any written material intended for adoption reform, consists of only 6 chapters with a total of 62 pages! And there are no ‘suggestions’ from the author. She is a militant angry adoptee that is very hostile to anyone who adopts!

And how much does a person have to spend for this study of one person’s tormented life? Around $50.00! A person, spending a few hours on the Internet, could come up with the same source materials in this book and save themselves the money.

Joan was born in Buffalo . Her mother died shortly after her birth and her father decided to give her away to a distant relative without children. He has already four children, three daughters and one son, this fifth child can’t be taken care by him. In 1956, when this takes place, adoption in the US (and also in our country) is a taboo subject. Birth certificates are falsified, the child is sometimes very late or not informed about the adoption and many know the facts and family relationships, some don’t, as the case of Joan.

My father didn’t know about the adoptive parents being any sort of ‘distant relative’; he was in the middle of a tragedy! My father’s decisions do not have to be explained or justified. The adoptive parents also do not have to justify or explain their reasons for adopting. Throughout this book the author details, over and over again, how she had browbeaten, intimidated, condemned, and used all sorts of methods to get all parents to ‘apology’ to her for her being adopted! My god!

When she becomes 18 years old, she’s suddenly called by her eldest sister. Her three sisters were from when Joan suddenly disappeared from the family informed of the status of adoption and also of her destination. They had always wanted to know how she was doing and now she’s eighteen and formal adult, they can contact her. From this call Joan’s life has been put upside down. She describes her reactions, of the adoptive parents and how her birth family, her father and siblings deal with it.

Life, being as it is as it unfolds, is full of surprises; who would have guessed that the author would choose to condemn both families for wanting her and then go out of her way to make everyone’s life miserable with her dirty double dealings and lies! It makes me ill to read, the almost 600 pages, of pure mental garbage that the author describes herself and everyone related to her.

Against the background of all the facts around the reunion and the further development of contacts she tells clearly and gripping the progress of other aspects in her life, her school life, marriage, becomes mother of two children, the death of her adoptive father, dealing with friends, the care of her adoptive mother and only child, and many others. It is a moving description of the history of an American woman and her two families.

Gripping is not a word I’d use to describe how the author tells about aspects of her life. Soap opera dramatics is how the author details her life; every little thing is overblown so that when real troubles occur they are exaggerated to show how horrible a life she has, because she is adopted! “A moving description”, only if you are addicted to soap opera drama!

But gradually it becomes clear that the reunion in her life especially got a negative impact. There is sexual abuse of her by one of her sisters, intense feelings of jealously, aggression and ignorance towards Joan. The father tires desperately, sometimes successfully but often not, to compromise between his children. Joan herself also got a fierce nature. At the same time her adoptive mother initially responds very negative to her writings about adoption in various newspapers and increasingly in book form. Mother has a strong possessiveness towards her adopted child, Joan.

Negative impact, cause by the author herself! As I’ve stated in my letter to Doctor Hoksbergen, there was no sexual abuse from me to the author. That is purely a cover-up story to take away from a real incident that the author wanted and then retaliated, when things didn’t go her way, with a cover-up story. She makes her mistake, of letting out the truth, via her own lying; liars never remember the original lie. Page 220 contains a very important element to this lie of sexual abuse and points to the ‘cover up story’! But, you will have to read my own extensive comments on this once its posted on our web blog under the title ‘facts are stubborn things’. I suggest everyone check out and read our blog frequently to know the truth of all that the author details, for indeed, it will take a few more months for all our refuting of this book!

The ‘intense feelings of jealously, aggression and ignorance’ is not towards Joan but is what Joan feels herself and projects onto everyone else. If someone does not fit into her ‘inner world reality’ they are ‘out to get her’ and she has no limits to what she will do to get you! “Fierce nature” and “strong possessiveness” don’t begin to describe the sick relationship between adopted mother and adoptee.

 Precisely because of its negative experiences Joan has decided twenty years ago, to write down her life story. She is also an adoption activist. She vehemently rails against the practice adopted in the US. She fights against the fraudulent nature, against hypocrisy, market characteristics, the closed nature of many adoptions that still continues, even against anonymous sperm and egg donors. Many times you see her at conferences, and so I made her acquaintance, her story. In the adoption world in the USA she’s well known.

When was this review actually written? The Doctor wrote the foreword in 2006 and according to the author she began writing her book in 1970’s. So by 2006 it was already close to 40 years not 20. So why have an outdated ‘review’ published now, in 2010? Precisely because it is now about one year since the book was published. This ‘review’ is a staged occurrence, it happens in the publishing world to boost sales!

She is no activist but yes she ‘vehemently rails against adoption’ to the point of not only obsession but condemnation of anyone adopting any child for any reason. Sounds more like she ought get a job with the Inquisition! She is well known in the adoption world? Pity those people!

The book is a very informative story about how an adopted deals with secrecy, how decisions are made for her, the struggle with feelings of loyalty, the reunion and contacts with biological family of both mothers and father’s side. She describes her emotional reactions openly and honestly.

This sounds as if the author wrote it for the reviewer!

It is an exciting and very well written story about the weak position of an adopted child. English is relatively simple and remain legible.

It is not written well and moves around, in space and time, as to be almost intentional misleading the reader. It is pathetic in its subjective portrayal of a weak mentally ill person. I don’t buy into the idea that because a person is adopted they are weak! They are weak because they choose to be so!

For adoptees and adoptive parents, I would recommend this book highly.

I, having actually read the thing, would recommend you use this book in the bathroom, if you were not worry about contamination from the printed words. You would be better off reading the birth sisters web blog to get a better well-rounded view of this author.

1. chayeletOctober 14, 2010

I fully endorse Gert’s statements here. Kathy Inglis.

2. RuthOctober 15, 2010

I also fully endorse Gert’s statements. – Ruth Sippel Pace

Schedule for appearances of Joe Soll and Rene Hoksbergen at the Shedding Light on the Adoption Experience VI Sept. 24 + 25, 2010 September 23, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Lessons in Life.
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Mr. Joe Soll will be lecturing for the 200 series on Friday afternoon, Sept. 24, from 3:10 – 4:30pm. And for the 300 series on Saturday morning, Sept.25, from 10:30am – 11:45am.

Dr. Rene Hoksbergen will be a panel member at a panel discussion on Saturday afternoon, 12:45 – 2:15 pm.

I suggest all interested parties please ask these two gentlemen pointblank about their side of the story of how they were portrayed falsely in Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family. But let me make this statement: I am aware that the adoptees run hot and cold with Mr. Soll. Some like him, some don’t like him, some out and out can’t stand him – that is not the issue here. Whether you like Mr. Soll or not – it doesn’t matter – what does matter and this is my point – JOAN WHEELER LIED ABOUT HIM IN HER BOOK FORBIDDEN FAMILY THAT SHE KEEPS SAYING IS THE TRUTH!

Ask Joe about Joan’s saying on page 310 of the book Forbidden Family that he received in the mail a copy of a 40 page letter that was supposedly written by the Three Sippel Sisters, and about a phone call between Joe and Joan discussing this letter. We received an email from Joe on May 14, 2010 that confirms what we knew all along – this was a falsehood – because we never wrote such a letter. We posted both Gert’s email to Joe, and his quick response (a half hour after receiving Gert’s email) – here at this post, HIGH ALERT EVIDENCE of Joan Wheeler’s lies FROM A PERSON IN AN ADOPTION REFORM ORGANIZATION . 

Ask Dr. Hoksbergen about an event that was described on pages 275-278- a visit by Rene to the home of Ruth and John Pace and how I, Ruth Pace jumped up and down and was screaming and yelling at Joan and Rene. We have not been in contact with Dr. Hoksbergen to hear what he has to say about this visit, but I know what he will say: that the chronicling of this visit is FALSE, because no such visit took place, he was never at my home, and the one and only time I did meet him – at Joan’s house, I barely spoke to him, much less jumped up and down and screamed at him. Also he never met my husband.

Big mouths Rus and Mara, little mouths Heather and Myst – now’s your chance to either shut up or put up. Even if you are not going to be in attendance, I’m sure you will know someone who is going there – you are all so fired up about my blog – and keep defending Joan – so don’t take MY word – go to two of your own adoption experts – Joe and Rene. Then see how “truthful” Joan’s  book is.

Then ask yourselves: if Joan could lie about Joe and Rene, who or what else has she lied about? You will find those answers right here on this blog. This is not about The Three Sippel Sisters bullying Joan Wheeler, either in the cyberworld, or the real world – this blog is for Shedding Light on the Lies of Joan Wheeler – for not only has she lied about and misrepresented us and our family, she has lied about and misrepresented two adoption reform experts.

We Three Sippel Sisters have experienced lies, misrepsentations, out and out deeds by Joan that were engineered to destroy our lives. Like falsely calling child abuse authorities, calling the place of employment of one sister, trying to get her fired with lies, writing letters to the mayor of a major city trying to discredit her sister, trying to get another deported from the country she emigrated to, tried to break up the marriage of one sister, interfered with the minor child’s upbringing of another sister, harassed a birth-cousin while she was dying of cancer. Oh yes, Joan has been one busy lady – busy being a liar, a pest, a stalker, a troublemaker, a harrasser, an abuser, a thief, a manipulator, a con artist, and a bully.

So to those adult adoptees who have come here and have thought that the words of this blog are terrible – because they are against Joan – do yourself a favor – don’t believe me or my sisters – go right to two experts in your own field – Joe Soll and Rene Hoksbergen –

Because if you don’t take the time to get to the truth of the matter, then you deserve all you get from the Master Manipulator – Joan Wheeler. And you will show the world that you are nothing but sheep, willing to be just led around by the nose and used and abused by Joan Wheeler.

I know – I’ve been there – I was used and manipulated by Joan Wheeler for 15 years – 1975-1990. Then when I stood up for myself and refused to be her doormat any longer, came the lies, harassment, emotional abuse that lasted for 10 years. In 1999, I was granted a one-year order of protection against her. We had 4 years of peace,but then in 2004 she started up again – and it continues to this day.

I am only trying to warn you people – that she will make your life a living hell – so it’s YOUR choice, — find out about her NOW – do your homework – or lie down and be her slave.

baa baaa baaa baa baaaa

1. Gert – September 23, 2010

Right on!!

Perfect, Shedding Light on the Lies of Joan Wheeler! That is what this blog is about. It isn’t a popularity contest or who the biggest baddest, it’s all about the truth.

Lies can not live when there are spot-lights on them. Joan may be able to lie to herself and to those that think like her, but she can not lie to the entire world, when Light is Placed on the lies.

And the term bullying is misused by Joan when she whines that we are doing so. She has no real understanding of what bullying is. She likes to throw out terms that are catch-words, hot-button terms, terms that the fringes of society may use. No, this is no bullying, this is shedding the light where the lies lives, it is truth-telling.

Joan started all of this by publishing a book of lies. We sisters are throwing light on those lies.

And as Ruth as stated:
“for not only has she lied about and misrepresented us and our family, she has lied about and misrepresented two adoption reform experts.”

This is also correct. We sisters have no interest in gaining fame or fortune, we have no contracts with the professionals named here, our ONLY motive is for the truth to be out…that Joan Wheeler lies and lies and lies.

2. RuthSeptember 24, 2010

I posted this article yesterday morning September 23, 2010. In the body of this post, I  named 4 people who had come here in the past and left comments. The only way anybody could see their names would be if they came and READ the post.
In past weeks Joan Wheeler kept insisting that she does NOT read our blog – but then how come yesterday, she starts another whine entitled “More crap from my sisters – Mara, Heather, Myst – you are being summoned.”

Sooo, what does this mean? It means that JOAN WHEELER IS READING OUR BLOG!!!
I told you people – If Joan can lie to + about Mr. Soll and Dr. Hoksbergen – she will lie to and about YOU. And it looks like she just did.
“I’m not reading their blog.” Oh Baloney! She IS reading it.

3. gert – September 24, 2010

It’s okay, Joan she really ought to READ THIS BLOG because it is ALL ABOUT HER and HER LIES

We are not going anywhere, we are staying right here, forever, telling our truths…

Reply
4. Gert – September 24, 2010

Having given this more thought…

This statement of Joan’s:

“More crap from my sisters – Mara, Heather, Myst – you are being summoned.”

not only does it indicte that Joan reads this blog, but she has and is using her friends to do her dirty work as her henchmen, that is the typical work of a true bully someone who stands BEHIND others who will and do the dirty work!

Stand up for yourself Joan!

you may have the wool pulled over these sheep, but the world is watching you and judging you.

Reply
5. RuthSeptember 24, 2010 

oh without a doubt Gert – this is Joan’s Modus Operendi – Method of Operation – I sugges those who doubt this – go to the post about Joan lying to Prof. Hoksbergen and please read the letter that Kathy wrote to the good professor back in 1993 –
where Kathy says to the Prof – “Joan knows I won’t open or read her letters, so she gets her friends to do her dirty work.”
1993 folks – 17 years ago, and Joan is still manipulating and using people to do her dirty work!

You adoptees don’t know Joan as long as we have or dealt with her shit as long as we have – but you will – ‘cos once you get on her shit list – you can’t get rid of her. We’ve been trying for decades to get rid of her -SHE WON’T GO AWAY – SHE WON’T STOP!  So we do the next best thing – cut her off. We expose her to the world for what she is – a bully – a 54 year old woman acting like a 10 year old –

My “summoning’ of Heather, Mara, Myst was for them to wake the hell up, I didn’t tell them to take this blog at carte blanch – didn’t I tell them to do their homework? I didn’t tell them to go “talk” to Joan – I told them to figure things out – they have brains – can’t they tell when they are being used? And not by me – I think those who are following this blog (and I know I have regular readers – they come over here via various blogspot blogs (financial services, loan consolidation) almost everyday – or is that YOU Joan? lol. anyway, those who are reading my blog can tell the Three Sippel Sisters style of writing – that we shoot from the hip – no fooling around – we tell it like it is – straight-forward TRUTH telling. NO friggin beating around the bush whines like “oh, my sisters are bothering me- get them away from me – get them away from me…ooh ohh, I’m falling apart ooh oohh – I can’t take it—ohh boo hoo, sob”  oh puh-leeze!

And we back up our words with cold hard evidence – scans of actual letters and court documents. If we were in a court of law, with the body of evidence we have provided, there would be no doubt – Joan would be hauled off to the psych center – where she belongs. She “claims” she doesn’t have the paper documents to back up her fish-stories, because she burned them all! Baloney! She never had them in the first place. She’s full of shit and she knows it. And we know it. And the whole world is beginning to know it.

HIGH ALERT EVIDENCE of Joan Wheeler’s lies FROM A PERSON IN AN ADOPTION REFORM ORGANIZATION September 20, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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HIGH ALERT
EVIDENCE of Joan Wheeler’s lies
FROM A PERSON IN A ADOPTION REFORM ORGANIZATION: MR. JOE SOLL 

 Yes I, Gert, did email a adoption reform person, named in Joan’s book for verification of Joan’s statements about her sisters’ writing to adoption reform organizations.
 
We have been sitting on this email for several months waiting for the right moment and today seems to be that moment. Joan is a bit scared these days because she doesn’t want the birth family to tell what they know on our blog. I have been reading and writing about every chapter since January 2010, not everything I’ve written about has made it on our blog…yet. In due time it all will be out there and believe me when I say, you the readers will be very surprised to find out just how much lies Joan has told, in the book, on her site, and everywhere else where she trashes us. You will also be surprised to find out ALL the dirty deeds of Joan’s herself, some are NOT in the book, some in the book are misrepresented to show Joan as the innocent victim, but she is no victim.
 Ruth’s note – don’t take our word for it – go ask him – If you are attending the “Shedding Light on the Adoption Experience VI, in New York City, at the Park Central Hotel this coming weekend, September 24-25, 2010, you can ask him in person.

To: joesoll@adoptionhealing.com
From: Gert Mcqueen
Subject: fact finding request, please
Fri, May 14, 2010
Mr Joe Soll,
 
My name is Gert Mcqueen. I am a birth sister of Joan Wheeler, who is known to you. She has recently published her book called Forbidden Family.
 
My reason for writing you is simply a fact finding mission, to ask if you have any copies of any letters that were sent to you, about Joan, that were allegedly sent from any of her birth sisters? My reason for asking is, again simply, because on pg 310 of Joan’s book she states that you and about nine other adoption organizations, had received some letter(s) in 1992, from us. Frankly, I, and my sisters Ruth and Kathy, did not do so. It would help my sisters and myself greatly to know, for fact, if there is any existence of such letter(s) because we did not write any or send any.
 
If you don’t have any copies of any letter(s) but know of any such letters I would appreciate it greatly if you could please let me know of their existence and whom I may contact about them.
 
Also, in her book, Joan relays a phone conversation with you, pg 311, regarding these alleged letters in which she writes that you did indeed receive them and that you had spoken with Joan about them. If, as I know, you did not receive letters from myself and my sisters and as we suspect did  not have a phone conversation with Joan, in 1992, about us, we also know that you would want to be protrayed correctly, in print in a book allegedly about adoption reform. 
 
If you do not have access to her book, but wish to see the pages I am referring, I would gladly snail you copies if you would provide me an address. My sisters and I would greatly apprecitate it if you could shed light on this for us and yourself.
 
It is very distressing to myself, my sisters and our entire family, that there are so many falsehoods in Joan’s book. My sisters and I wish to correct the many errors and are doing so in a blog called refuting a book of lies in Forbidden Family @    https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com 
 
Your help is greatly appreciated and we thank you
 Gert McQueen
  
 

From: “Joe Soll, LCSW – AdoptionHealing.comAdoptionCrossroads.orgEvilExchange.com” <joesoll@adoptionhealing.com>
To: Gert Mcqueen
Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM
Subject: Re: fact finding request, please
I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.
 
Also, in her book, Joan relays a phone conversation with you, pg 311, regarding these alleged letters in which she writes that you did indeed receive them and that you had spoken with Joan about them
This is patently false. 
If you do not have access to her book, but wish to see the pages I am referring, I would gladly snail you copies if you would provide me an address. My sisters and I would greatly apprecitate it if you could shed light on this for us and yourself.
I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/

Feel free to contact me further

Be well, 조살 🙂

Joe
From: Gert Mcqueen
To: joesoll@adoptionhealing.com
Sent: Tue, May 18, 2010 11:43:19 AM
Subject: Re: fact finding request, please
From: “Joe Soll, LCSW – AdoptionHealing.com – AdoptionCrossroads.org – EvilExchange.com” <joesoll@adoptionhealing.com>
To: Gert Mcqueen
Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM
Subject: Re: fact finding request, please
I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.
 
Also, in her book, Joan relays a phone conversation with you, pg 311, regarding these alleged letters in which she writes that you did indeed receive them and that you had spoken with Joan about them

This is patently false.
If you do not have access to her book, but wish to see the pages I am referring, I would gladly snail you copies if you would provide me an address. My sisters and I would greatly apprecitate it if you could shed light on this for us and yourself.
I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/
Feel free to contact me further

Ruth’s note
as you can see, we copied and pasted this directly from the email inbox. and the codes contained in it made Mr. Soll’s reply in small print – so I copied and pasted it onto notepad, to remove the codes and pasted it back onto this post. I did this to keep the original email in it’s entirety to ward off any accusations of tampering with Mr. Soll’s email reply to us. Please note that he confirms that Joan’s accusations in her book, about a 40 page letter sent to him, and a follow-up phone call between Mr. Soll and Joan are “PATENTLY FALSE!”

and by the way, when Gert emailed him, he responded WITHIN A HALF AN HOUR – (thank you Mr.  Soll).

Well, well, well, there you have it, PROOF FROM SOMEONE NAMED IN THE BOOK FORBIDDEN FAMILY THAT JOAN WHEELER IS A LIAR. So much for Joan’s insistence that her book is true and factual. Because it is NOT. It is a bunch of  lies from cover to cover and we will continue to point out every lie she tells about US.  And that is our RIGHT – to set forth the TRUTH of our lives.         

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