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gods, nutty people are everywhere. MM, former friend of Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel has some growing up to do January 15, 2017

Posted by Ruth in Beware! Nutty People are Everywhere.
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 I wanted to blog about a couple things this weekend, but my focus was pulled by a really rude little child. Well, she’s 31 years old, but acts like she’s 6.

Okay, so last summer, I’m minding my own business on facebook and I get a notification of a message request – so I read it.  

MM July 18, 2016

“Ruth oh my goodness I just read your blog about your half sister. I am an adoptee myself and discovered I have 7 sisters. It pains me that my birthmother is demanding they don’t talk to me, but I think your situation is different. I broke up a friendship with Joan Wheeler nor Doris Sippel and then started one up again but after reading your blog I stumbled upon 5 minutes ago I am unfriending her here on FB and for good once more. I am guessing you really tried in the beginning to get to know her but her behaviour made you stay away. I too am against nearly all adoptions and I was curious as to why she had to be given away. Also, I also grew up rich but that doesn’t mean us adoptees don’t have anger or a lack of civil rights. Nevertheless some of the comments Doris/Joan have made are shocking and I feel it’s best if I avoid her.” 

She writes a couple of more messages. Now I actually don’t remember if I sent her a facebook friend request or did she send me one, (after we had a conversation on private message) but at any rate, we became facebook buddies. We had some very nice intelligent discussions both publically and privately on facebook. 

MM. says that she has read a lot of my blog. Somehow I don’t think she retains what she reads. Her first sentance in her first message to me she says Joan is my half-sister. No, she is my full bio sister. In subsequent messages between us, I told her exactly how and why Joan was adopted. I know what was said, because I never deleted ANY of the private messages between her and me. Anyways – fast forward to Saturday, January 14, 2017 when she asks me WHY my father relinguished Joan. — I told her all about that on July 18, 2016: “it was a child care issue. Joan was three months old when mom died. I was 3 – the others were 5,8, and 9. There simply was no one to take care of an infant. My grandparents were elderly, my grandfather had only one leg. they tried as best they could. Other aunts and uncles also tried to help out – but they also had kids of their own. My Uncle Richard actually had Joan from the time she was discharged from the hospital until after my mom died, but Aunt Ann was also pregnant and had 4 toddlers.

There just wasn’t anybody to take care of her. Meanwhile, my Aunt Catherine, who also had just had a baby, and little ones at home, had a childhood friend, Helen. Helen’s brother and his wife were looking to adopt. So Catherine and her brother Richard suggested adoption to my father.

 so my father talked it over with our parish priest. and it was decided that he relinquish her for adoption. By the way, this was done BEFORE my mother’s funeral, not AT her funeral, the way Joan likes to tell it.” — Well, okay I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt that she forgot that I told her this months ago. 

So on January 7, 2017 – I got a request from MM — Could I write something about adoptees and put it on her wall so that her bio-family can see it?

“If you need the background story – Bio mother going around asking everyone to “respect her and pretend I don’t exist”. Pretty shitty. So they feel that if they talk to me they’re being rude to her. I’m so sick of this bs.” 

Well, I agreed, and was thinking of what to write, Jan 7 and 8, I wasn’t feeling too good, and when I told her that I hadn’t written it, she says “Hey wait til March. I decided I’m not dealing with trying to kiss ass to them and have them in my life until March …. I mentally need the break. Until March I am focusing on ME and the relationships I already have with people … I mean if my bio family wants to be in my life before March AWESOME, I’d be super happy but I have done and tried all I can and I am taking a break for the next 2 months.” 

On January 11, my sister Gert posted links on my facebook about her latest blogposts about Joan/Doris and an enthusiastic discussion commenced about adoption, adoptees, and other things. A couple of my other facebook friends joined in.  

via private message MM asks me: “Are you trying to tell me I am NOT a member of my bio family? Are you trying to compare me to your wackadoo sister?” And I said no, I then wrote: “JOAN will never be part of her bio family BECAUSE OF HER OWN ACTIONS – she WAS part of our family, when we welcomed her back – in 1974. She was asked to leave because of what she did.If she had not done those anti-social things – she’d still be part of our family.Yes, our reactions, and particularly MY saying she is not my family is due to anger, yes. But even if she had never been adopted out – and had been raised with us – I would have disassocieated myself from her.”

MM says “100% agree with you”

I continued: “Even people who are legal members of a bio family are ‘disowned’ because they are abusive to other family members. My comment is from the perspective of what I have gone through — I recognize that not all families are like mine – and there are instances, like yours, where innocent people are NOT being recognized as family members. — these are the “on the other hand” points I want to make in my upcoming blog post.” — MM: “100% 100% agree. Whew ok just so long as you know I think Joan is an abusive wackadoo” 

So between what I had written to her right there, and a couple of more posts on my public timeline, I was getting the gist of what I wanted to compose for MM and make it into an actual blog post. 

On Saturday, January 14, another couple of enthusiastic discussions took place on my public facebook timeline. Commenters were me, MM, my sister Gert, and a couple of my other facebook friends. I know MM was in disagreement with a couple of things, but she was respectful – for the most part. She did say my father was wrong for relinguishing Joan up for adoption and did call him an “asshat.” – I let it go, because I knew that adoptees are very passionate and some are unforgiving when it comes to having been relinquished for adoption. I basically chalked it up to a bit of an over-spewing of the mouth. But still, I was a bit put-off by that. 

Anyway, I don’t remember what time it was – sometime in the late afternoon – I went offline and was lounging on the couch, even took a nap with the cat. And again, I don’t know what time it was – maybe 8 or 9pm, I come back to facebook to find – a private message from Gert wherein MM had jumped on her.

While I was snoozing – MM got her panties in a bunch when Gert told her of her viewpoints of adoption. MM proceeded to ‘lecture’ Gert, and Gert told her to stop.

Then MM apparently unfriended ME and blocked ME. I went and deleted every comment that MM had placed on my timeline. (when you block someone, their previous comments remain). But I wrote this: 

“from the “please grow up and leave me alone” department.

 Gert reports that she has been attacked by one of my facebook friends via fb pm. AND prior to that – was disrespected during a debate on my timeline. I generally treat my fb friends as adults, but sometimes I have to step in.

 Gert’s post does not seem to be showing up – it may be due to Gert’s privacy settings. However – I am posting here, the two comments that I made.

 comment 1

 that person seems to have issues. her facebook page has been taken temporarily taken down. probably cos she knows she went too far and wanted to run tail between her legs.

 I cannot block her because she temporaily took her page down. Once it’s up again, she will be blocked. I don’t know if she unfriended me or not – I can’t tell because as I said she’s taken her page down temporarily.

 She did this once before, claiming her account was hacked, however she left me a mysterious pm asking why I had marked her as spam. Which I hadn’t. I remembered her saying she had problems with her account being hacked, so I had assumed that’s what happened. But before I could answer her – her page was taken down.

 Then a couple of weeks later, she’s back up. I gave her the benefit of the doubt back then. This time, I see she plays games. Attacks, runs, shuts her page down so we can’t respond.


 I did not see her ‘attacking’ us a couple of hours ago – it happened while I was offline. She needs to accept the fact, as do Joan and any other adoptee and everyone needs to accept that, that every other human being, has the right to their own opinion. Doesn’t matter how or why, that is their right.

 One may have a differing opinion, and I am willing to debate – respectfully – the issue. But when the debate turns into one person lecturing the other, and one person repeatedly says, “don’t lecture me.” – that person gets an automatic trip to the airlock.

 But this person is passive-aggressive – she attacks, then runs her little ass away before we can catch her and shove her into the airlock, and eject her, helmetless, and oxygen tank less into the deep reachers of outer space.

 Not a good way to behave like a grown up. She’s outta here! Her comments on my page have been deleted.  This is how I know she didn’t block me – her comments were still visible to me. (Ruth’s note: I was in error, there, some comments ARE still visible when they block you).

 And what is she going to do? Go run to Joan and report all she read what we wrote the past couple of days? Big Deal. Everything I’ve written has been on my blog for years.

 But since she herself got into a fight with Joan (I don’t know why, never asked, don’t care) – she will need to grovel back to her.

 OR – since she may use the ploy “hey, Joan, I got some gossip about Ruth” – Joan may take her back. — just the way Joan and my former cow-worker (not a typo) Laura Heath got her panties in a bunch when I told her not to lecture me, and she went and found Joan to gossip about me.

 Honestly, these (ahem) ‘ladies” are all over the age of 30 – yet act like 10 year olds.

 I don’t have time for little kiddies.  I put up with M because we did have some interesting debates – but when one starts acting like a fool – well – I don’t tolerate fools.”

” love Harlan’s famous line about the herd culling themselves: DIG OR SPLIT. – in the vernacular (mode of expression; i.e. slang) of the 60’s – DIG meant like (I lke the dress you’re wearing). SPLIT meant leave – (I gotta split, my bus is coming. see ya!)

So, DIG what’s on my page, and my and my sister’s viewpoint of adoption and how it relates to OUR OWN FAMILY – or take a hike.”

“you know, Gert and I do NOT talk about adoption and how it relates to other people’s PERSONAL FAMILY BUSINESS – we discuss ONLY our own family. Or adoption in general. We ain’t particularly interested in adoption. We’ve done our adoption research 40 years ago, we can see that our sister was deeply affected by her adoption.

Our issues with Joan is NOT about her adoption – they are all about JOAN’S ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIORS TOWARDS US.

I am willing to debate the possibility that adoption affected Joan adversely, however, I believe it is WHO adopted her and HOW she was treated growing up that makes her such a bitch. And I have always said – just because a person has been abused, it does not give them the right to turn around and abuse someone else.

Joan’s mission in life is to PUNISH the world for her adoption – and in particular to PUNISH her birthsisters because we were not adopted out and she was. Doesn’t matter that we were little kids ourselves and had nothing to do with it – she knows this – but she’s screwed in the head. And I don’t need other people coming here and passing judgment on me or my family. I WON’T TOLERATE IT.”

 So then today, Sunday, January 15, 2017, around 2:15pm I found her blog on wordpress and left her this comment:

“I want to say that you are acting like a little child. You didn’t like what my sister Gert had to say – fine. You can disagree with her all you want – you could have simply blocked her. WHY DID YOU UNFRIEND AND BLOCK ME? Now I honestly am not hurt that you did. I’m not about to wring my hands “somebody on social media unfriended me.” But what you did was very childish.

YOU were the one who contacted ME. YOU were the one who said they read my blog and understood my anger towards Joan.

I’ve been very truthful with you. I could tell that you and I disagreed on things about adoption. YOU could have adult enough to accept it – YOU do NOT have the right to be disrespectful to ANYONE. Be they a facebook friend of mine, or family member.

And while I have your attention – YOU do not have the right to call MY father an ‘asshat.’ YOU could have said, “I think you’re father was wrong.”

Who the hell are YOU to come to MY facebook page – and call MY father names? please do some growing up.

by the way – if you want something said to your birth family, have the guts to say it to them yourself. Why ask me, to get involved and write a comment so they will see it?

I don’t know them. I don’t even know you. You don’t know me. You don’t get to call ANY of my family members names. I accepted your friend request last year in complete and open honesty. Can you say the same?

Did you simply come to me because I am Joan’s sister and YOU had a fight with her and wanted to see if I would trash her and give you salicious info on her? Anything I ever said on my facebook timeline or in our private messages conversations has already been said on my public blog.Please M. – grow up and leave me alone.” 


So here I am, at 3:30pm, Sunday, January 15, putting this blog post together, and I go to my facebook for some referencing, and I find that MM has unblocked me. I’m not in the mood for playing games. So I went and blocked her.

MM – ya’ll wanna come to my blog and read, go right ahead – that’s what it’s here for. But I’m serious. I don’t put up with childish, foolish antics from grown women that should know better.

Comment 1 – gertmcqueen – January 15, 2017 

Thank you Ruth for posting this…my time is limited at this moment, but I shall revisit. I am appalled over this MM’s behavior, she has no respect for another’s views, she plays both ends at the same time, because she’s a sneak, like Joan, she obviously hasn’t grown mentally beyond age 12, has a short fuse, doesn’t like ANYONE adopting, AND then as the gall to attack MY positions, right after AGREEING with me! Would NOT stop when I said please stop, she kept it up and up, getting more insulting with every sentence…does the word crazy mean anything here? Yes it does

comment 2 – Ruth – January 15, 2017 

Because I used my private email address in filling out the comment form to leave a comment on MM’s blog – she got hold of my email address and sent me an email. I didn’t bother to read it.  I did instruct my email to treat any incoming email from her as spam and she is blocked.

 The subject line was “I’m sorry …” that’s all I read. –  IF she is sincere in being sorry, perhaps this will be a lesson for her – she had a problem with Gert, she punished ME. (not that I lost any sleep over it – lol).

 MM – and I know you will eventually read this blog post – you made a mistake. Humans make mistakes. If that was your apology, fine. I, however, am under no obligation to maintain any contact with you.  This is how life works.

 You don’t get to use me as a springboard for your anger at Joan/Doris for whatever fight you had.

 I’m a nice person – but when I get used – the results are not nice. This is all on YOUR head.

 And by the way – don’t even TRY to make me or Gert feel guilty for our stand on adoption. It’s been tried in the past – didn’t work then, won’t work now.

comment 3 – gertmcqueen – January 15, 2017 

right! MM may be truly sorry, but I WARNED her several times to STOP, she did not! I don’t suffer fools gladly, a person fu…s with me they are dead meat…I don’t take hostages and I don’t forgive…you mess with me and my CHILDREN how I birth them, adopt them, raise them you (that interfere) will pay the price. 

  Reply by Ruth – January 15, 2017 

well, she SAID she was ‘sorry’ – but do we even know if she REALLY is sorry?  I don’t care. SHE is the one who showed HER true colors – sucking up to me – then doing a 180.  what an ass.

comment 4. gertmcqueen – January 15, 2017

‘…never having to say you’re sorry…’ is a bullshit sentiment! I wasn’t born yesterday, oh excuse me…I was born YESTERDAY 70 years ago! I learned a lot over my life and I’m don’t wear my religion, my feelings, my anger, my anything on my sleeve…ONCE I’m betrayed that’s the END…sorry is an excuse, I don’t accept excuses. I’m interested in a human being that GROWS and LEARNS and ACCEPTS the rights of the OTHER, regardless. My beef with adoption is with Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel and how she VIOLATED my children’s rights and my parental rights and I shall NOT accept anyone attempting to MAKE ME BE WRONG! period end of story…tell me you are sorry til the end of the world…a person that DOES NOT know me, my FATHER and my CHILDREN, DOES NOT have the right to insult my father, demean my children, and tell me I was and am WRONG.

 Take your freaking politics and shove it your ass! and why MM is at it perhaps she really ought to LEARN HOW TO PRAY THE ROSARY.

 Stop being a freaking hypocritic, live your life the way your lord Jesus wants you to and stop being an asshole 

Reply by Ruth – January 15, 2017


 I totally agree with you Gert – especially the part about the rosary. Such a devout little Catholic girl saying her rosary, yet calling a stranger’s father an asshat! AND trying to shove shit down two stranger’s throats. 

Just what the FUCK is wrong with these adoptees? They demand THEIR rights, but REFUSE to see that other people have THEIR rights as well. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – AND IT’S ON THE PAGES OF THIS BLOG — Gert’s and my ‘problems’ with adoption has NOTHING to do with adoptee rights or adoptees problems.


We don’t give a fuck about problems with adopted or biological families of other adoptees. 

The names of our blogs are

 Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler

 Reclaiming the Sippel Family Honor

 duped by adoption & an woman’s Struggle for Identity, a book study 

There is not one word in the blogs’ titles that would suggest that we are even remotely interested in adoption, adoption reform, adoptee feelings, rights or us being mentors for adoptees. 

Don’t like the fact that we DON’T CARE about your problems? Then LEAVE.

 by the way, one of my facebook friends who was reading this development, suggested to me that perhaps MM was a spy for Joan/Doris. – I don’t know. Don’t care. My facebook is public. And as I said before, there was nothing I ever said to MM on facebook, both privately or publicly that hasn’t been said on this blog before.

 And if she was a spy — well, is there a bead on that rosary to ask forgiveness for that kind of bullshit MM?

comment 5. gertmcqueen – January 15, 2017

I use my prayer beads often, I offer to my gods and goddesses often, I’m not perfect, but I do not, I repeat I do not, tell others how to live their lives. I EXPOSE Joan/Doris’s disgusting deeds that she has done to me and my family. If YOU are NOT part of my family take a hike and get the hell out of my face

January 19, 2017 update…see this post for more info


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