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Joan Mary Wheeler aka Doris Michol Sippel has her very first book signing and blows it by screaming at another author there, then calls for other adoptees to harass the woman AND publishes the woman’s phone number on social media. January 3, 2017

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, mental illness, Uncategorized.
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Read this blog post by Gert McQueen to read how Joan aka Doris started screaming at another author at a book signing event held at the Buffalo Historical Museum. And then goes after the author by telling other adoptees to harass her, and publishes the author’s phone number. what a bitch Joan/Doris is – but we all know that anyway. (by the way, the author’s [Mary Arno] contact information, including email and phone number ARE on her flyer/website. I chose NOT to publish the phone number here. Joan/Doris publicized the phone number, not to generate interest or possible sales for Mary Arno, but to have others stalk and harass her. And that’s WRONG!)

If this is HOW Doris M. Sippel/Joan M. Wheeler behaves, towards another author, at her FIRST BOOK SIGNING, than she ought to be banned from book signings!

Here is Joan/Doris’ own account on her facebook page about how proud she is to have been verbally abusive to another person AND calls for that person to be stalked and harassed by other adoptees. 

Doris Michol Sippel December 1 at 8:48pm · Buffalo 


I was one of 65 local authors who presented their books for sale at the Buffalo (New York) History Museum on Sat Nov 26, 2016. This was my very first author event for my memoir, Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity. (Amazon) 

The woman to my right handed me her book mark. She is a well-known author by the name of Mary Arno. Here is here contact info from her book mark: 716- &&&-&&&&

 (You will need it to send her emails to inform her about the reality of adoption. She has no clue.) 

I gave her my flyer. She read it: “The death of my married mother when I was an infant led to my closed adoption. Eighteen years later, I was found by family I did not know I had.” Inside the flyer was a statement about sealed birth certificates and falsified birth certificates. 

Mary Arno turned to me and said, “you sound very angry!” 

I shot out at her, “I am now! Thank you for putting me on the defensive! I am the expert of my life!” 

She said, “You should be mad at your BIOLOGICAL mother for giving you away, not at your adoptive parents…” 

At hearing her refer to my MOTHER as my “BIOLOGICAL MOTHER”, I got even madder and began shouting at her. “My mother died!” 

But she didn’t even acknowledge my loss. “Then you should be mad at your father for giving you away, not at your adoptive parents!” 

“I never blamed my father for giving me away! He was in an impossible situation, a father of five children, his wife died of cancer, how I could blame him…” 

Mary Arno shot back at me, “Oh no, it is clearly his fault! He willing gave you away! You SHOULD blame him!” And in the next breath, she asked, “Your adoptive parents loved you, didn’t they?” 

I yelled, “Oh? My adoptive parents lied to me my entire life! Lies, lies, lies! And more lies! They knew I had sisters and a brother who lived 6 miles from me my entire childhood, yet they willfully prevented me from knowing my own siblings! I would hardly call that love! New York State stole my birth certificate and I’m not supposed to upset over that?” 

“I am an adoptive mother so I have a different opinion than you do,” Mary Arno declared smugly. 

I shouted back at her. “You did not give birth so your name does not belong on a birth certificate.” 

“That is your opinion!” Mary Arno snapped back at me. 

“It’s more than my opinion. I have 42 years of personal and professional experience in adoption reform. This is a global movement to eradicate adoption from the planet. Adoptees and mothers-of-adoption-loss are rising in protest against adoption.”

I told her I am fighting New York State for my right to my own birth certificate. She said I should do just that! As if I need her permission for my activism! 

Then Mary Arno said to me, “So, writing your memoir, that must have been a very cathartic experience for you.” 

Nice going. What a put-down. No, it actually was hard work. As if all adoptees who write memoirs write simply to “get it out of our systems” so “we can move on with our lives”. Hell, I wouldn’t wish this journey on my worst enemy. 

Somehow, I got through he two hour event by talking with people as they came up to the table. 

I sent Mary Arno a long email on the proper etiquette on how to talk with an adopted person. I encourage all adoptees and mothers-of-adoption-loss to do so as well. 

Here is the front and back of Mary Arno’s bookmark with her website and contact info – email and phone number. Yes, she lives in Buffalo, New York. 716- &&&-&&&&


Paula – January 4, 2017    –  Mary Arno read her like a book!! (pun intended!)

Ruth – January 4, 2017   –  ha ha ha

gertmcqueen – January 4, 2017   –  I’m quite sure that Mary Arno ‘knows’ what type Joan/Doris is alright! Unless someone is on the ‘same’ page as Joan/Doris, they are ‘bookmarked’ as enemy.

Ruth – January 4, 2017 – hmmm, Joan/Doris says “Somehow, I got through the two hour event …” – seems as tho I’ve read that line before – oh yeah, in her book, Joan is always just “getting through” events –because she ‘suffers’ so damn much!

Well, if she would treat people nicely, then people wouldn’t get mad at her, and then she wouldn’t have to SUFFER all the time.   but the ass NEVER learns that.

 gertmcqueen – January 4, 2017   – I can just image what that must have been like for the unfortunate ones that had to ‘deal’ with Joan/Doris as she ‘got through’ the event. Sure hope that the event organizers read my blog, for I sent them the link! and then J/D won’t have to worry about ‘suffering through’ another event


Joan Wheeler – what is your solution for kids languishing in orphanages and NO family members are taking in? December 10, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
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Joan Wheeler hates the institution of adoption so badly that she wants to eradicate adoption from the entire planet of Earth! What an unrealistic idea. But then, Joan has always been unrealistic in her thoughts, deeds and goals. 

Joan’s “brilliant” solution for a replacement for the act of adopting an orphan is kinship guardianship. Well, that’s all well and good on the surface – but – what if there is a child who HAS no family left at all? Like a child who’s whole family is wiped out by war or an act of nature (earthquake, flood, etc.) – and there ARE many such babies and children who have experienced this. 

OR – as in the case of MY family – when MY mother died, and my father was left with four young children, aged 3 years to 9 years and one three month old infant – extended family members TRIED to help out.  

What does Joan propose for a family such as ours? FORCE an aunt or uncle to raise that infant? I believe that is what she wants – because she forced ME to provide Christmas 1989 for HER kids when I did not give birth to them, nor their legal parent or guardian – explanation: Joan stole money from me in the summer of 1989. In September 1989, she agreed to repay me, we were expecting refund checks from a lawyer for his fee (long story) – Joan agreed that when her check came, she would cash it and turn the entire amount over to me to go towards what she owed me. But, the little lying snake that she is, she called me early December 1989 and informed me (did not ask, but INFORMED me) that she was KEEPING all the money to provide Christmas presents for her kids. Never mind that her husband had a job, was working and SHE refused to get off HER ass and get a part time job to provide for her own kids. NO, she saw $$$ that her sister (me) had coming, but her sister (me) was in a two-income relationship, and her sister had a well-paying job, and therefore her sister’s money should be redistributed to JOAN AND HER FAMILY. So, yeah, money was stolen from me, and then never repaid, because JOAN made a decision on how to spend MY money, therefore I was FORCED to provide Christmas for her kids. 

Here’s a picture of an orphan child:

 adopted kid

What is Joan’s solution for this child?

She wants to eradicate adoption – she thinks that every child should be raised by other family members – um, there were none for this kid – so according to Joan Wheeler, he should stay in the hospital, being raised by nurses until he becomes an adult.  

Good solution there Joan Wheeler. – Totally illogical, stupid and inhumane.

illogical and stupid

1. gertmcqueenDecember 10, 2014

Gert here…good points…as we have said so many times, ADOPTION is here to stay as long as there are HUMANS IN NEED of it.
And Joan thinks NOTHING of interfering in other members of the family for her OWN purposes. Been There, Done That, and she will NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

She violated my parental rights BECAUSE she knew better than me how to raise my children. She called in 2 false child abuse reports on me saying I was UNFIT…SHE did NOT pass the HOME STUDY that I requested on her.

She didn’t do her OWN children any good either…besides MOVING BACK home to her adoptive mother’s home, with her children…where Joan STILL LIVES…she had that mother TAKE CARE of her children while she went off to get another DEGREE PAID FOR BY THAT MOTHER. Then Joan WROTE in a book about how she treated her children, documented CHILD ABUSE SHE did, how she BURNED her children’s stuff, how she attempted SUICIDE in front of her children.

Joan Wheeler behaves just like the ranting lunatic in the “racist rant” video June 7, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, mental illness.
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I don’t know how many of my readers are aware of the youtube video of a woman going off on a racist rant in Cheektowaga, New York. Cheektowaga is a suburb of Buffalo, NY, and the incident took place at the Airport Plaza, about 3 miles from my home. I don’t know the woman and I’m glad I don’t. I don’t know the man she was screaming at either.

 The incident occurred on Friday, May 30, 2014. The man started his van, startling the woman’s son. The woman started yelling at the man that he scared her son. She then proceeded to call him a “n” – yes – the N word that shows clearly she is a racist. The man picked up his cell phone and began filming her – and she kept insulting him, turning her back on him while she got on her cell phone to call someone. All the while she kept calling the man “N” and then says she doesn’t like black people and her children don’t either. Then she gets her children to swear at him. The children are very young, and while their mother is busy with her racist rant, begin to show signs of shock, confusion, and being frightened.

 The man in the van calmly tells the woman “great, now you have your children swearing at me.” and continues to video the woman. The woman, is talking to someone on her cell phone but telling the black guy it’s the police, the children’s father, her husband, and her lawyer – she can’t seem to make up her mind who she is talking to.

 She’s also taking in non-sequitor (nonsensical) statements. Nowhere does the black man say he knows the police, but she starts yelling/talking to whoever on her cell phone “Oh HE knows the cops. How many cops have I stripped for?”

 She’s worked herself up into a rage and threatens to throw hot coffee on the man, who then rolls up the window of his van, but then lowers it. Meanwhile, she’s still ranting and raving.

 In the story published in The Buffalo News, published on June 5, 2014, the man says he was shocked by how her anger escalated.

 The man did post the video to youtube, and the woman called a talk radio and identified herself and said she was bi-polar. Because she identified herself, some people tracked down her address and put it on the internet. Rocks were being thrown at her house, her children threatened. AND Child Protective Services took her children away earlier this week. I don’t know the reasons why – probably because in the video she is neglecting them, telling them to call a strange man names and basically put them in danger because of her stupid behavior.

 Now we can get into the discussion of race, and the responsibilites and consequences of a parents actions another time. And I’ve been debating this on the facebook page of WGRZ-TV, a local news station that did a story on this earlier this week. And on the youtube channel that put out this video.

 What I want to discuss here – is how this woman’s behavior mirrors that of a person that I know very well – the person of whom this blog is about – Joan Wheeler.

 But first – let’s take a look at this now famous video – it went viral, and by this evening (Friday, June 6, 2014) and had 7 million views.



So, have you watched it? I hope you did, because otherwise you won’t understand what I am going to say.

 Notice in the beginning of the video, not the beginning of the incident, because the young man didn’t do anything wrong, only started his car, and has this white woman begin calling him racist names, and then starts the video. Because of what happened to Trayvon Martin in Florida, and a couple of recent police brutality cases in Buffalo, one involving a young black man, I’m sure this man’s instinct was to get documentation of what was happening.

 The woman is merely being a dumbass making a racist comment. Soon she works herself up into a rage and is fairly frothing at the mouth when she walks up to the man’s van and gets into his face and insults him again.

 The man is not getting out of his car, not getting into a screaming match with her, but trying calmly to get his point across – that racism is alive and well in Cheektowaga – and every time he says something – she tries to shut him down.


 The conversation starts out fairly civilized, but once Joan sees that you disagree with her, or are not obeying her – she begins to get agitated. Begins the swearing and screaming. You stand there, not believing what has just happened. She’s now frothing at the mouth and screaming so hard you can’t get a word in edgewise. If you are on the phone with her – the rant ends by Joan slamming the phone on you – leaving you shaking in anger and shock.

 As to the non-sequitar statement made on the video about the man knowing cops and she strips for cops – Joan also does this. Out of the clear blue sky, Joan will say something and you don’t know what the hell she is talking about.

 The woman in the video called a radio talk show and said she is bi-polar. Well so is Joan. And? So we are supposed to take this kind of verbal abuse because THEY are bi-polar?

 On November 3, 2009, I called Joan on the phone to tell her that our Aunt Doris had died. I didn’t know Joan’s phone number, so I called my father. Knowing that a few months prior to this, he had kicked Joan out of his house and life, I didn’t know if he still had her phone number. So I called him up and asked him. He sounded tired and I said that I would call Joan and tell her about Aunt Doris. He gave me the number and I called her.

Me: “Joan, this is Ruth.”

Joan: “how did you get this number?”

Me: “from Dad.”

Joan: “NOT a good idea.”

Me: “Whatever. Anyway, I’m calling to tell you that Aunt Doris died the other day and I thought you should know.”

(now up to this point, both me and Joan are talking calmly, although she was a bit snippy when she said that it was NOT a good idea that Dad had given me the number). We continue with the conversation —

Joan: “Thank you for that, (calmly), — BUT YOU HAVE NO FUCKING %$$#&**(^^%% (now she’s yelling and I can’t even make out what she’s saying) AND FUCK YOU AND #$%$%^&&^%%$#@!!!!!!”

What did the Buffalo News say about the young man making the video? That he was shocked by how the woman’s anger escalated? Well, that was I how I felt when I was being subjected to this barrage of verbal abuse! I still had my email from our Uncle Rich telling me that Aunt Doris (not his wife, but his late brother’s ex-wife) had passed. I remember staring at Doris’ name (Joan’s birth name was Doris, named for Aunt Doris, and that’s why I thought, no, KNEW that it was important that Joan be told of her passing. Silly me, I didn’t think that I would get this kind of thanks). I kept staring at my computer screen and hearing Joan going off on a rampage. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO WRONG??? I actually burst into tears, but Joan did not hear me crying, because she was too busy yelling unintelligible insults at me. I finally did hear and understand something about “AND YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY SISTER…!!!”

It was at this point I yelled back at her – “BITCH – YOU DON’T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD SISTER!” and hung up on her.

 What Joan Wheeler did to me on that day was bully me by subjecting me to verbal abuse. And I will not tolerate it. I don’t care what your problem is – bi-polar, whatever – YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO ABUSE OTHER PEOPLE THEN USE YOUR ILLNESS AS AN EXCUSE!

 Get your ass on meds and get the hell away from me and other people who are simply going about their lives.

scares me too

1. gertmcqueenJune 7, 2014

Gert here…
excellent! When I saw that video I said to self, ‘just like Joan’! She does it in person, on the phone, on paper, on the internet! In recently years she’s been scanning news items on yahoo and ranting and raving, she goes by the name ADOPTEEFEDUP and she lets everyone know how fed up she is. She gets angry to any comment CONTRARY to her own belief! If another counters her, she insults them, over and over again. When another says she’s bitter, she counters she is NOT bitter, she has 40 years experience, she knows what she’s talking about, she, she, she…

Joan recently put up a NEW photo of herself…she has all the signs of old age and dis-ease! She’s not long for this world if she doesn’t STOP her anger and hate and behavior.


UPDATE, MARCH 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…



What’s the REAL reason Joan Wheeler is going back to the boyfriend from New Mexico? January 4, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
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What’s the REAL reason Joan Wheeler is going back to the boyfriend from New Mexico?

She says on twitter it’s because he needs her. And she wants to “save” him by getting him to the proper therapy. Oh yeah, right. Like she knows what the proper therapy is. She’s been in therapy for more than 30 years and it hasn’t worked on her.

She also devoted a whole chapter in her stupid book on another abusive boyfriend – she was terrorized to be with him because he was violent – yet she stayed with him because she was trying to “save him from his drinking problems and get him into the proper therapy.” Sound familiar? That was back in 2007 and she failed with him. AND despite him saying specifically to her that he did not want to be in her book, she put him in it as a revenge. AFTER her attempts to save him failed.

So she’s got another guy to save? BULLSHIT. She’s the one who NEEDS him!

In the early fall of 2012, she was on the internet whining that she needed to find a boarder to “save her house from foreclosure.” She found one. He lasted two weeks. The guy actually contacted me via facebook private message to tell me that she is nuts. (thanks, man, I know that already).

So fast forward to the other day, she tweets that a “friend” of hers, “C.” is facing homelessness, and she took her downtown to apply for HEAP. um, BULLSHIT! If you’re facing homelessness, you don’t need HEAP – HEAP helps pay your HOME’S heating bill. If you’re not going to have a HOME, you ain’t gonna need it.

Last night, while she’s tweeting about the latest chapter in The Joni Soap Opera, she’s asking people to keep “C.” in their prayers.

UM, JOAN – YOU GOT THAT BIG HOUSE TO YOURSELF – WHY DON’T YOU PROVIDE “C.” WITH A HOME???? You’re so smart as to how the system works – big ass social worker that you are – you know what programs she can apply for. And YOU can get help for your mortgage and save your house from being foreclosed.

Listen, people, there is no “C.” – it is Joan herself who is facing homelessness. That’s why she NEEDS the boyfriend. So that his SS check can help pay her mortgage. Just last week, she’s bitching about him being a creep, a drunk, a convicted drunk driver, she spent 5 days in a homeless shelter in Taos, New Mexico while he was in jail over the summer, he’s a stalker, a cyberstalker and cyberbully – he showed violent tendencies while she was with him – and now all of a sudden, she’s wanting to resume their relationship so she can find the proper therapy for him. What she’s trying to do is convince him to come back to Buffalo, move in with her, and use his check to pay her mortgage.

How do I know this? Because she stole hundreds of dollars from me in 1989, and tried to extort $$$ from another sister in 1992. She’s a user and an abuser. This guy would do well to stay the hell away from her. She can’t help him – she’s so messed up in her own head she can’t help even help herself! She’s a manic depressive! She’s never held a job for even ONE DAY as a social worker. She’s a sociopath and a psychopath. She needs to be committed.

*if anyone reading this is wondering how do I dare write about Joan’s personal life – Joan wrote a filthy slanderous book with things in it about MY personal life – and lied about it. As to why I’m writing about this boyfriend, if anyone is thinking how is this my business? – Joan MADE it my business when she brought him to Family Court in July 2013 when I had her in court for harassment charges. She MADE him my business when she brought him to my godmother’s wake and funeral and she MADE him my business when she was tweeting about he isn’t on twitter but I am and I am “cyberstalking” her like he is.

1. gertmcqueen

Gert here! right on Ruth…what this guy NEEDS to do is READ a copy of Joan’s book, I’m sure she’s got a copy there! He needs to read what Joan has said and done to other boyfriends she’s tried to save! Or better yet, this guy ought to read our blogs, for we not only tell the truth we QUOTE Joan’s words. Joan also tried in 2009 to get our father to; paid for her car repairs and publish the book! I just placed a blog post about this stuff YESTERDAY! Our father’s widow told me that when Joan was ‘taking’ her grocery shopping, Joan would put items in the cart that SHE WANTED and NEVER offered to pay for them. She told step-mother, she didn’t have money. Finally, they refused to allow Joan to take them shopping, Ruth is also correct about HEAP, no address, no money! And at this time of the year, unless there is an emergency HEAP’s money is GONE. And who is the male friend of Joan’s that had to fly in cold weather? Is it the same friend who spend weekend ‘relaxing’ with Joan, as she told on twitter? doesn’t she KNOW that you don’t put your private shit on the internet? what if the guy in NM finds out? Oh I forgot, she doesn’t want me near her! sure, right! mark my words… he’ll get in a program and swear that he’ll behave himself and she’ll allow him to visit and help around the house and then before you know it…HE is paying for her and her house…fools!!

Joan Wheeler goes from manic state to depressive state awful fast over her latest FAILED romance. December 31, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Joan Wheeler goes from manic state to depressive state awful fast over her latest FAILED romance. – all information and quotes are from what Joan Wheeler herself has put out on public internet for all to see. remember – if you don’t want people to read it – don’t put it on the internet.


In a mess that SHE herself created, Joan first rants and raves about a guy she met at a bar back in June 2013. Within two weeks, marriage plans are made. What stupid idiot meets a guy and within two weeks makes plans to marry this total stranger? Joan Wheeler, that’s who. So she goes to New Mexico with the guy in August and the truth comes out. He’s an alcoholic (so is Joan, but she won’t say so in conjuction with this stuff – but did admit to it in her book), he got caught driving drunk and was thrown in jail for 30 days, (my, my, my), his family decided to do some background checking on Joan (wise move considering we’ve got two people who within 2 weeks of meeting want to get married – doesn’t matter if he’s 63 and she’s 57 – they are both thinking like 13 year olds), the family apparently googled her, came to this blog and saw the truth about her – then so did he. Apparently there were words between everybody, and Joan came home, and cried all through September.

Last week, her website got a hit from New Mexico. Never mind that there are tons of people living in New Mexico and any one of them could have gone to her website, and never mind that Gert has personal friends living in New Mexico and it could have been them – Joan sees the hit, ASS-umes that it’s the boyfriend and/or his family and goes off on a bitch fest – a real rockin’ psychopathic rant! Insults the guy – mocking him for his PTSD (and using the tired old stereotype of the crazy Vietnam Veteran – for shame, Joan) AND DRAGS ME AND GERT IN ON IT. (but she’s always bitching that we won’t stay out of her life – and when we are not – she drags us into it!). I say ASS-ume because when you assume something without real evidence, all you do is make an ASS out of yourself – which is what Joan does all the time. She sees or reads something, and right away ASS-umes things about people.

Here are blog posts that Gert and I did about this mess that Joan HERSELF created:

Another one bites the dust! Joan Wheeler, ‘fiancé’ break-up! Gosh, we told you it would happen! by gertmcqueen on December 27, 2013

Joan Wheeler drags me into her f’ed up love life – then bitches about me being in her life. uh, what? December 26, 2013

would somebody please lobotomize Joan Wheeler? December 27, 2013

 Joan Wheeler has the nerve to say she had done no harm. December 27, 2013

Joan Wheeler can now see 2400 miles and “know” what people are watching on their TVs. OMG! December 28, 2013

SOOOO after all that ranting and our blogging, Joan read Gert’s blog and sees Gert’s statement: “DOES Joan have any positive things going into her life? She never tells us anything that is positive in what she does. Nothing about good eating, sleeping, exercise, meditations, readings, etc…she boring! Once in a while is posts some feel good quote, but she doesn’t live it!”

And knowing that Gert takes Zumba classes (my, are we STALKING Gert now, Joan?) Joan all of a sudden says that she’s “getting healthy, being more positive, is thankful for her female friends and taking Zumba classes).

In the evening of December 30, 2013, she’s on the downside of manic depression – she’s on a downer, and lamenting the loss of her latest romance. I didn’t see the garbage until I woke up about 11:30am December 31, 2013. The time frame that Joan wrote her latest stuff – I was busy with my life – doing housework, then watching the special features on the DVD of John Carpenter’s The Fog. (btw, Joan put me down in her book because I collect movies. So? Who the hell is she to comment on how I spend my $$ or my life? She does so, because her life is so miserable, she looks at me and sees my full life, and she can’t have it, so must debase it).

And I can comment on Joan’s life and this mess because SHE DRAGGED ME INTO IT. SHE DELIBRATELY WROTE A TWEET ABOUT THIS FUCKED UP SITUATION THAT CONTAINED A REFERENCE TO HER BIRTH SISTERS (me and Gert). Therefore, we EARNED the right to write about it.

So I get up and meander over to twitter to see what’s up with a couple of tweets I had exchanged with Luke Evans (Bard the Bowman) – o gods! not only is Ruth collecting movies, she’s communicating with people who are acting in them! Quick now! Get the noose and string Ruth up!

So I see what Joan writes and I wanted to puke. I then go over to facebook and see that Gert also had seen it and this is what we say about the pukey shit:

facebook exchanges: from Gert to Ruth Herr Sippel Pace the idiot is crying in her beer…around midnight she says..

Deep pain in knowing it is over. My love. New Year will be better for us both.  I release you, my love. Good bye my Darling. May you find your true love. She lies within. I move on

after all that ranting and raving and saying she’s DONE and getting on with her life and he was a loser…this is so typical of Joan Wheeler!

from Gert Mcqueen so I added a comment on the blog post and incorporated Ruth’s comment and mine into the body of that post and retweeted it…I can’t believe it, YES I can cause this is HOW joan operates, she doesn’t get her way, she throws fits, gets kicked in the face, bitches and screams cause no one loves her, she rants and raves that they are bad and mean to her, then she gets sympathy from others and says oh I’m ok and then in the dark of the night she crys for what she lost asshole

from Ruth Herr Sippel Pace omy god I want to puke with the saccharine fakeness of it all.

and notice now how she’s going out of her way to list different world cultural dances that she’s learning in Zumba class. She’s reacing out to her birthsisters again, albeit in a round-about way. As you noted yesterday, how she’s obviously reading the blogs – after bitching and raving, her tweets turn 180 degrees on how she’s getting healthy and going to Zumba – a clear IMITATION of you. Now, the “world culture” dances – a clear imitation of ME. Because of my past experiences of being a Middle East (belly dancer). She never cared about dance before – only her Native American dances she did as a teenager and in early 20s. And don’t forget – she put me down in her book FOR being interested in the Arab culture. Now SHE is “embracing” other cultures. What a fucking hypocrite!

she goes from calling him a “stalking obsessed creep” to ” My love. New Year will be better for us both.  I release you, my love. Good bye my Darling. May you find your true love. She lies within. I move on” – she said she “moved on” the other day – if that was so – she shouldn’t be going back to write this stupid shit.

Gert Mcqueen yep…I WAS DOING zumba 3 years ago! I had to stop due to medicals reasons and turned to biking instead…but I NEVER mentioned that ONLY my yoga, bike, gym…which she NEVER picked up until just now BECAUSE I made a point of saying she’s boring, unhealthy and never speaks about what good in her life. And if she loved native dance WHY hasn’t she been doing it all along? If you love something, you DO IT. she only talked about it because of the SUGAR DADDY like I said, she was crying in her beer…that’s what she does…she can’t get her way, throws a fit, the other person tells her get lost, she gets insulted, finds things to bitch about and then says she’s done with them, and then when the night is dark and she’s alone she laments her LOSS that she created.

end of facebook exchange.

I am not only wanting to puke, but I see the hypocrisy of it all – having been dragged over the coals in her book for MY interest in other ethnic music and dance – to see this bitch now saying it’s the best thing in HER life! As I said above – she looks at her miserable life, finds it lacking, then looks at MY life, debases it – YET COPIES ME! And Gert!

Now I want to examine this statement made by Gert: “then she gets sympathy from others and says oh I’m ok and then in the dark of the night she crys for what she lost asshole” – when she was ranting and bitching about the boyfriend on Twitter, she made statements that she was “afraid of him.” “leave me alone.” called him a “stalking creep” “obsessive” – and a twitter friend of hers up in Toronto says, “been reading your feed, are you okay?” this lady sees what Joan writes and becomes genuinely concerned for Joan’s safety! And what does Joan say? “oh, I’m all right. He’s 2500 miles away.”

WHAT THE FUCK?  If she’s “all right” and he’s “2500 miles away” WHY IS SHE WRITING THAT SHE IS AFRAID OF HIM? This is what she does – she EXAGERATES things and puts her whiny little “woe is me, poor, poor pitiful me” routine and manipulates people into feeling sorry for her.  So LOOK at what she said about the guy – she’s afraid of him, he’s a stalking, obsessive, alcoholic drunk driver, and he’s coming to get her. – and chances are – he’s probably a sweet guy with a drinking problem. But according to Joan – he’s a monster. AND THIS IS WHY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT ME AND GERT ARE BITCHES – BECAUSE THEY READ JOAN’S SHIT AND BECAUSE SHE’S A MASTER MANIPULATER AND LIAR – AND SHE CAN TURN THE TEARS ON AND OFF – THEY CAN’T BELIEVE THAT HER CRYING IS ONLY AN ACT! – People – she’s a socio-path and knows how to turn the waterworks on. And before anybody recommends that she call the police – please – The Town of Tonawanda (where she lives) already are aware of her and her antics.

Before anybody condemns me for “putting down the mentally ill” and lectures me that I “should have compassion,” – been there, done that. Unless you have been the harassed victim of a mentally ill person – you will not understand. see the home page of this blog. and the page What is Demanded of Joan Wheeler.

Don’t judge me for my anger of Joan Wheeler – until you know all the facts and the hell she has put me through and is STILL doing it – by harassing me by calling my employer a year ago with false accusations designed to get me fired – and just the other day by daring to drag me into her fucked up love life.

And again, we see a mess that Joan herself created. Gert and I had nothing to do with this latest boyfriend, yet Joan drags us into it. So we gave it right back to her. We didn’t start it, but we damn sure finished it. We didn’t ask to be in it, but once we were in it – we went all out. And the mess is all on Joan – I don’t want to hear a word from her that we “interfered” with this shit – IT WAS JOAN HERSELF WHO BROUGHT US INTO IT!

1. gertmcqueen

Gert here…Perfect assessment of the conditions that Joan does to herself and everyone. There’s nothing more for me to say, but…this is the real Joan Wheeler and if you don’t believe us…get in a REAL PERSONAL relationship with her, NOT on the internet, BUT IN REAL TIME AND PLACE, interact with her in the FLESH and within 2 months you will KNOW.

UPDATE January 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version.



 end of update info


Joan Wheeler can now see 2400 miles and “know” what people are watching on their TVs. OMG! December 28, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
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Joan Wheeler is overthinking, imagining and speculating again.

I blogged about this stupid behavior of Joan’s before on November 10, 2013 in this post “Overthinking, imagining, speculating, fantasizing – then reporting those erroneous thoughts as fact – this is what Joan Wheeler does on a daily basis”   I am reprinting it here in its entirety, because she did it again the other day on twitter.


She was ranting and raving about her ex-boyfriend. Apparently she found a hit on her website that came from New Mexico and she made an ass of herself because she ASSumed something again. Now, she may be right that the boyfriend or a member of his family went to her blog. There is no actual way of knowing. 

But she doesn’t stop there – in her ranting, she says that she “KNOWS” he is watching the Weather Channel to find out the weather in Buffalo – reason? – to stalk her.

Oh my god, people, do you not see how stupid this sounds? Tell me – is this RATIONAL? She answered a tweet from one of her twitter friends and said “he is 2400 miles away.” So — HOW THE HELL DOES SHE KNOW WHAT CHANNEL IS ON THIS GUY’S TV?” She is saying at this same time frame on twitter that she is not having any contact with him. So that rules out that she may be on the phone with him. She says he is not on Twitter, so he isn’t telling her that he’s watcing the Weather Channel.- The only thing she is basing her ASSumption on is seeing a hit on her website that came from New Mexico. Is her website connected to the Weather Channel? Does Joan have some sort of special radar/sonar or sensor grid from Star Trek that is alerting her to who is viewing the Weather Channel in New Mexico? does she have magic eyeglasses that let her see 2400 miles and thru buildings, walls, mountains to see what is on this guy’s TV?  —— PLEASE! JOAN! GET A DAMN LOBOTOMY!

No, I’m not making it up! Joan accused me of that last week – that I’m making things up in my head. No, honey, YOU’RE THE ONE MAKING IRRATIONAL THINGS UP IN YOUR HEAD AND HERE’S THE PROOF. A SCREEN SHOT OF WHAT SHE PUT ON TWITTER! – I replied to that tweet, asking who her eye doctor was. I need a pair of those super magic glasses too!


Here is my original post on her overthinking and imagining things that aren’t real:

This is what Joan Wheeler does – she overthinks, speculates, projects the way SHE would react to a problem onto others, imagines how that person would react, speculates on how that person thinks and acts, thereby creating a fantasy, then begins to actually believe that fantasy, then reports that fantasy as FACT. – Meanwhile, the person she has dreamed up this shit about hasn’t a clue as to what Joan is talking about, is pissed because now a lie is being told about them, calls Joan out on it, gets yelled at, phone slammed on them – and then the whole incident is reported as the other person has now “harassed” Joan and is “interfering with her life.” Joan then escalates the telling of her fantasy, now lying about the person, and the person is left wondering what the hell they did!

like the shit time I called her to tell her Aunt Doris died. (November 3, 2009) After reading email about it, I call my father. Joan should know, she was named after Aunt Doris. Did Dad still have Joan’s phone #? (because a few months prior he kicked her out of his house and life). Yes he did. He was tired. Should Ruth place call? Yes, says Dad. So she does –

Joan – how did you get this number?

Ruth – from Dad.

Joan – NOT a good idea.

Ruth – whatever, look, Aunt Doris died. We thought you should know.

Joan – thank you for that, but —-$%^$#@*&^^?)(&&%$$^ AND DON’T FUCKING CALL ME AGAIN.

Ruth slams phone down and bursts into tears. Goes to cousin Nancy’s house and Nancy calms her down. Then Ruth goes to Dad’s house, where dad says, “Joan is mentally ill.” meanwhile, Joan calls Town of Tonawanda police – Gert, Kathy and Ruth are calling her on the phone harassing her. on the spirit of my miscarried son, I swear this is what happened. – But Joan tells a completely different story. why? – cos she’s nuts. should be committed.

How does ONE phone call, placed by Ruth, get reported to the police that Ruth, Gert AND Kathy as placing phone calls to Joan? Go back to the beginning of this post and learn how Joan’s fucked up brain works, er, DOESN’T work. Because, just because Joan thinks something, that doesn’t make it true.

and by the way – the next day I called Gert, and then she called the Town of Tonawanda police. The officer placing the call to me the night previously had left his name on my answering machine, so Gert asked to speak to him personally. He told Gert: “don’t worry about her, we know all about her.” roflmao!  1. gertmcqueen

Gert here…excellent post!! I hope the links I put here come in, if not just go to the date, August 18, 2011, on my blog and read them…they are ALL good examples of how Joan does this overthinking and imagining…it is HOW her brain works!

http:/gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/Joan Wheeler’s own behavior….exhibit A on August 18, 2011

http:/gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/Joan Wheeler’s own behavior….exhibit B on August 18, 2011

http:/gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/Joan Wheeler’s own behavior….exhibit C on August 18, 2011


Joan – for the love of heaven – THINK before you open your stupid mouth!

1. gertmcqueen

gert here…yep that’s the way Joan’ brain works…in that libelous book…she writes over and over again about how Gert did this or that, gert backed off…when I only have laid eyes on her 4 (four) times in 30 years! Joan is omnipresence; she is everywhere in every one’s mind! She has a speculative mind; not one based on facts.

 2. Ruth

oh absolutely Gert – she did the same to me in that stupid book. Ruth did this, Ruth did that. And not one thing she ever said about me was the truth! Like the time in 1994 her hospital bill got mixed up with somebody else’s – and the hospital told her repeatedly that I didn’t do it – that I was INCAPABLE of doing it. And she admits in the book that they did tell her that – BUT she writes that she KNEW that I did it.

UPDATE January 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version.




Joan Wheeler drags me into her f’ed up love life – then bitches about me being in her life. uh, what? December 26, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
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oh brother – here we go again. Despite Joan Wheeler’s lamentations and bitching that we, her birth sisters “interfere” with her life, she keeps dragging us INTO her life.


In the wee hours of December 26, 2013, – 1:00am to be precise, Joan was on Twitter, going off on her ex-boyfriend. Apparently her website’s locale spotter showed a hit from New Mexico. Where the ex lives. So? It’s the public internet – Joan has a website for the purpose of people reading it. If the ex wants to read her website/blog – well, it’s a damn free country.

So Joan is accusing him of stalking her and she tweets that he should leave her alone, she’s now afraid of him, he is a bad person, she stuck by him when he was in jail, blah blah blah.

THEN she drags US into it. Take a look-see:

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily

And now, you’ll continue to obssess about me. I know you’re not on Twitter. But my stalking sisters are. They’ll make sure you can read this

EXCUSE ME! We don’t even know this guy. And look what she wrote: “I know you’re not on Twitter.” – so, we establish he’s not on Twitter. “But my stalking sisters are.” – yes we are. “They’ll make sure you can read this.” – HOW? she just said he’s NOT on twitter!

so I replied these to that particular tweet:

Ruth Pace ‏@ruthsippelpace

@forbiddenfamily uh – WE DON’T KNOW HIM OR HIS FAMILY – DON’T DRAG US INTO YOUR F’ED UP LOVE LIFE! leave US alone.

Ruth Pace ‏@ruthsippelpace 

@forbiddenfamily this tweet – dragging us into your silliness – proves YOU won’t leave US alone.

Ruth Pace ‏@ruthsippelpace

@forbiddenfamily  just how will I do that? when I don’t know him, + as you say, he’s not on the internet? why are you dragging me into this?

Ruth Pace @forbiddenfamily

we “MONITOR” you to catch you in stuff just like this: WE DON’T KNOW YOUR EX OR HIS FAMILY, LEAVE US OUT OF IT.

Then she tweets this:

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily 

Run scared. I know you will be. Because I Tweet about our breakup? Too bad. No one knows your name. No one. Don’t like being talked about?

and I reply:

Ruth Pace ‏@ruthsippelpace  

@forbiddenfamily that’s right – we don’t know him – now leave us OUT of your f’ed up love life! why are you pulling us into it?

By the way – she dragged HIM into MY life – in July, 2013, by dragging this guy to Family Court when I had her up on harassment charges- cos she contacted my job AGAIN with false accusations of computer fraud – trying to get me fired. WHY was he there? This was FAMILY COURT – he had no business, him being a stranger to me – to be where I was – taking care of a FAMILY matter.

So what is going on in this latest chapter of the soap opera, The Joni Show?

It appears a few months ago, she met this dude – and she was gushing all about him on twitter, that he’s half Mexican and half Native American, and because of her “knowledge” and “love” of Native Americans, she’s all starry-eyed.

She knows this guy FOR TWO WEEKS! And they’re making plans to get married! WTF! Where are their brains? So when my godmother dies, she drags this stranger to her funeral. I could only attend the wake, as I had to work the day of the funeral, but he attended both. WHY? He doesn’t know my godmother. Whatever.

At the wake, Joan tells one of my cousins that she is going to go New Mexico for a few weeks. And they have to decide where they will live once they get married.

Now, I laid eyes on this guy twice. Once in the waiting room at court, the second time at the wake. I never spoke to him, nor did I approach him. He seemed quiet, nice. Another cousin told me that he sat with Joan at the church at the funeral, and didn’t really say much.

Which belies this tweet about him:

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily  

I should have left that day you freaked out when my aunt died. You made it about your grief over Vietnam, over your Mom’s death in 2010…

He didn’t look like he was freaking out to me.

But dayam – that tweet is sure rotten! As are these:

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily  

I comforted you, you creep. I needed comfort, but you demanded I comfort you. I should have kicked you out then.

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily 

But my aunt died in early August. Instead of comforting me, you attacked me. Lunged at me with your PTSD and how deathy (sic) affects you.

WELL! We see what a great “social worker” she is!

Doesn’t she know as a “social worker” that people grieve differently than others? And where does she get off attacking a Vietnam Vet? Who has PTSD? As a “social worker” – that is a no-no! And to attack someone who is grieving their MOTHER???!!! She died in 2010? That’s only 3 years ago! My mother-in-law died 10 years ago, and my husband and I still get choked up about her. Where the hell does Joan get off AS A SOCIAL WORKER and AS A HUMAN BEING to belittle someone’s grief?

As the wife of a Vietnam Veteran, I went to our local Veteran’s Resource Center  in 1988 for counseling – to learn about PTSD that ALL Veterans may suffer from. I learned about the history of Vietnam, and the war. I learned about the aftermath of the war – both to the peoples of Vietnam AND our returning vets. I learned WHY my husband does certain things. And in doing so, we became strong together.

If Joan can’t handle being with a Vietnam Vet, fine, but don’t fucking attack him. Yes, many Vets, (of all wars) do suffer from PTSD and unfortunately do abuse alcohol and drugs (thank goddess my husband does not) – and that is a real concern. Joan reports on twitter that he was driving drunk and spent a month in jail. That would be a challenge to any relationship, and for speaking for myself, I would not be involved further with any man who does this (drives drunk and get thrown in jail). I am absolutely dead-set against drug and alcohol abuse.

But Joan is one to talk! She chronicles in her now-dead book that she herself was an abuser of drugs and alcohol and drove drunk. She showed up at my house once in 1991 at 5am drunk out of her mind!

So her little quickie romance is all busted up! She’s blaming his family for that. Apparently they went on the internet to check up on her. And I don’t blame them. They did what HE should have done. They were probably thinking “just who is the woman who knows our loved one for only a couple of weeks and thinks she ‘s gonna marry him? Is she the genu-wine article, or she just a gold-digger, looking for a sugar daddy to get her hooks into?”

Well, I say to them: “Good Job!”

So back to Twitter-dom: she also tweets this little gem:

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily 

I know what he’s still doing: checking the weather channel for weather in my city, thinking of where I am: the Y, music shows, plus ….

OH MY GOD! Joan – are you for real? Do you have the capability to see what channel is on this guy’s TV? To see the weather reports in Buffalo? and music? YOU FREAKING INSANE PARANOID IDIOT!

She also reports that she is now afraid of him. uh, duh – he’s 2500 miles away! But she told that lie on the stand in court about me in July 2013 – that she is “afraid” of me. WELL IDIOT! STOP DOING THINGS TO PISS ME OFF! — LIKE DRAGGING ME INTO YOUR FUCKED UP LOVE LIFE.

1. Ruth

by the way – as I understand the politically correct terminology – they are not “Indians” they are “Native Americans.” And they are not “Spanish” they are Mexicans. When she first tweeted about her new romance she called him Native American. Now she calls him Indian. Last week she was blaming the “Spanish” culture for her breakup. As I understand it, some like to be called Hispanic, or Latino. I think it depends on the region. I don’t know. That’s why I don’t call anybody anything unless I know what they like to be referred by. Most of the time, I just call them people, unless I’m talking specifically about the country they come from or if their ethnic background is an important issue with what I’m writing about. As we see, Joan is a bigot. She gushes that in her youth, she had a love for Native Americans. She points that out in her book. But she also pointed out in her book that my first husband was Arab, and goes out of her way to say that I “became fully immersed in the Arab culture.” – no, I did not. I embraced many Arab people as my friends. And what did that all have to do with HER adoption anyway – the purpose of her writing her stupid book in the first place. Who I claim as my friends, have nothing to do with her adoption.

2. gertmcqueen

Gert here… Joan says NO ONE FROM NEW MEXICO should be reading her web blog! What?? hey I KNOW people in New Mexico…been there, speak to them on phone, email. So it could be MY PEOPLE checking Joan stuff! Joan needs to stop browbeating everyone up who think about or does anything related to ADOPTION cause that is where her pains are coming from. She needs to accept that she’s adopted and let people alone. How many men does she have to go through before she learns that NO ONE wants to hear her bitching and screaming. If she still wants to live her life the way she does then she needs to learn that MEN (together or not) don’t want to listen to a bitch scream and rant. Every man I know that has seen or hear anything about Joan says that they would not put up with her for one minute…she’d be history! and the next book that Joan writes WILL have a chapter on this guy from New Mexico cause that what Joan does…she writes lies about every person that DOESN’T AGREE WITH HER. So if I was this guy from NM, I’d keep close tabs on what Joan puts in print or on the internet as she JUST DID on twitter…the guy may not have twitter but I bet he could find someone who does.


well said Gert – and if I were that guy – or his family – I would most certainly keep close tabs on what she writes about him and pull her into court for harassment, slander and libel.

UPDATE January 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version.





Handwriting samples of Joan Wheeler and various items I received in the mail – proof positive that Joan has been interfering in my life for years. February 9, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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My goodness, you never know what’s going to happen when you go to sleep. I just woke up and I check my blog stats to see an old post of mine from Dec. 2009 getting quite the attention. I hadn’t looked at the old post for a long time and I see it is very relevant to what I said back then and am STILL saying – that it is not ME or my sisters doing the harassing – it is JOAN WHEELER, always HAS been JOAN WHEELER and I have provided much evidence to prove it.

To save people the trouble of going to a separate link, I have copied and pasted the text of the blog and put it here. But first I want to put up some graphics. – The old post that I’m redoing here isin  regards to a large manilla envelope that I received in the mail back in 1998. – the story of the envelope is in the text copied from the old blog post and put here below the graphics. I want to talk about the graphics first – and I want you people to pay attention to the writing on all the graphics.

First up – a letter that Joan wrote to my fiance and his mother via his mother’s house trying to coerce John to leave me. This was after she posed as me and called child abuse on herself and named MY fiance (now husband) John as a child abuser. She was trying to break us up. After I filed harassment charges on her Feb. 1995 – she sends this cute little number:


okay – here is a a note that came to my house – supposedly written by Joan’s then 10 year old son to my fiance John – but it is bogus – Dennis didn’t write it – Joan did.  Included in this note, is a snippet of Joan’s handwriting sample from an old letter she wrote to my sister Kathy. By the way, Dennis always referred to John as UNCLE John, but does not in this note.

dennis letter handwriting comparison

now we will look at the return address on the manila envelope that I received in 1998. It is not my handwriting – but the return address is my maiden name and the house that I lived in and still living in – my fiance’s last name is Pace – there was no one else living with us. This handwriting is not mine, nor John’s.

close up of return address

here is the postmark from that envelope – from Tonawanda. Which is a northern suburb of Buffalo. In 1998, I didn’t have a car.

envelope June 1998 postmark

and here is a sample of MY handwriting:

my handwriting

Now I want you people – those who profess to wanting the TRUTH – to carefully examine the handwriting samples provided. Joan has a peculiar habit of mixing cursive (written) letters in with her printed letters. She makes her “E”s sort of like the “E”s in the font of this blog post. – Look at the printed E that I put in my name and New in New York – I make my Es like the Greek E.  And check out the “R”s, the “D”s and the “A”s in all the samples. Pay attention to how Joan writes the “J” in her name – look closely at “Dennis’s” salutation to John – The J is first written the way Joan writes her Js – then crossed out, and another style written in.

Now before I copy and past the text from that old blog post, here is another graphic – the picture of the entire manilla envelope – it is from a person with a sick, sick mind.  From someone who positively HATES me – to the point of calling child abuse ON HERSELF, to the point of posing of her own son to harass me, to calling my job repeatedly trying to get me fired. But Joan says in January 2013 on the website The Huffington Post that she doesn’t interfere with my life. —  yeah right.

envelope June 1998 privacy

Now, here is the text from the old post – explaining this blacked out envelope. And judge for yourself – are we dealing with a sane person? I sure don’t think so.

from my old post  “evidence of harassment of me by Joan Wheeler June 1998 December 12, 2009 ” https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2009/12/12/evidence-of-harassment-of-me-by-joan-wheeler/

Here’s an envelope I recieved in the mail in June 1998. Inside was a bunch of junk from Joan Wheeler. I’ll get into that in a bit. But I want to discuss the envelope.  The envelope was addressed to me, with the same address appearing on the return address. This was Joan’s clever manipulation of the post office. So that if I would mark the envelope as return to sender, it would come right back to me. If you look at the postmark closeup, it was mailed from a post office branch in Tonawanda, NY. I do not live in Tonawanda. I live in Buffalo. Joan lives in Tonawanda. I saw this clever manipulation and the postmark, so I put a label on the main address, addressed it to Joan at her house and popped it into the mail box. You see the envelope how I got it the second time. Someone spent a lot of time and ink with a magic marker to black out the entire envelope. I have also provided a sample of my handwriting. I usually do not spell out Buffalo, New York.So I did it both ways, so you can see that I did not fill out a manila envelope and put my return address on it. And I did not go to a post office branch in  Tonawanda New York and pay the clerk 78 cents. In 1998, I did not have a car.

But this is indicitive of the sick games Joan Wheeler plays with her birth family. Call it sick, it is still abuse, emotional abuse of me, and harassment.

So inside this large manilla envelope was a bunch of garbage related to the mess that Joan involved me in the previous month. I recieved an envelope from Joan, cerified mail, addressed to me and my fiance. She had written on the bottom: important information. Inside was a letter addressed to me and my sister G.

The letter was about a guy I never met, who bumped into her ex-husband, who used to know my oldest sister, and trash-talked my oldest sister to Joan’s ex-husband. I had sent a letter to Joan to tell her that 1. just 3 years earlier, the district attorney had told both of us to not contact each other. 2. I have nothing to do with some guy I never met who bumps into Colby and trashtalks G. 3. Why was my fiance’s name on the envelope? He also was not involved with this strange man. 4. Again, why was my fiance’s name on the envelope if the letter inside was addressed to me and my sister. 5. Leave me alone.

In the meantime, my sister G. also wrote to Joan. To tell her 1. Leave her alone. 2. Ruth is not involved with some guy who used to live in the same city as her. 3. Leave her alone.

So getting back to the large blacked out envelope: Also included was another small envelope , and I’m darned if I can remember what was in it, but I know it came from that blacked out envelope – on the back of it was some of the ink that bled thru. This was addressed to Joan, with no return address, but it was mailed from a post office branch from zipcode 14217. Joan’s zipcode is 14223. These are in the north Buffalo suburbs of Kenmore/Tonawanda. I live way over on the east side by Cheektowaga. I don’t know if she was trying to send mail to herself to prove to people that I was doing it. Because I don’t live in the Ken/Ton area, and I didn’t have a car at the time. And it is not my handwriting on the envelope. Fun and games courtesy of your friendly neighborhood Teflon Dictator.

Joan Wheeler says on Huffington Post that our complaints about her book was baseless. delusional liar that she is. January 17, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Joan Wheeler said on Huffington Post to Gert that our complaints to Trafford Publications (who published her book Forbidden Family) that our complaints were baseless. I placed the following two comments there today – Thursday, January 17, 2012:

Part 1: Forbidden Family replied elsewhere regarding allegations to falsehoods in her book Forbidden Family: “Your complaints were baseless; POD publisher a scam.”

POD – Print on Demand – Trafford Publication was not a scam. They printed a manuscript that the author said was fully truthful. Their standard contract (available on their website) read that no slanderous, libelous statements would be made. No obscene language or obscenities would be in the manuscript. The author of Forbidden Family signed the contract. A complaint sent to Trafford was sent which included the pages where the author used hate speech against those living in trailer parks, those of the Polish heritage and the Catholic religion. The page numbers were given where obscene language was used. The page numbers where falsehoods about me, my character and the authors constant reporting that I have a criminal record was given to the publisher, along with court documents. Those court documents that proved that the order of protection from 1993 was for six months, not one year, as reported in the book, or that I was sentanced to probation. There were other items sent to the publisher as well.

Part 2: It was determined by the publisher that the author also violate copyright laws by pubishing MY childhood photo on the back of the book, a family portrait taken in 1955. The author was not born until 1956, is not in the photo, was not the photographer, did not get MY permission, nor the 4 other living persons in the photo, for their likeness to be used on a product intended for monetary gain for the author.

Our complaints were baseless over a libelous book? I think not. on my blog at wordpress, refuting a book of lies on a post today I posted actual court documents that prove the author committed libel. The book was pulled from publication because the author violated the legal contract that she signed. She should not now be whining about it and blaming other. The blame lies squarely on her. here are the court documents that prove that Joan Wheeler is a liar January 17, 2013 ruthsippelpace, wordpress


Proof that my complaints to the publisher of Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family were not baseless. January 16, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family.
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 In my last blog post “Joan Wheeler shows evidence of her mental illness. Delusional person that she is. January 15, 2013”    I wrote the following:

“Gert relates more garbage posted by Joan on the Huffington Post. Gert copied and pasted the actual dialogue from that site. On statement from Joan is so laughable – I love the line from Joan where she says: “Your complaints were baseless; POD publisher a scam. ” – No, the complaint I sent Trafford Publishers contained ACTUAL CITY COURT DOCUMENTS that proved that what Joan said in the book was libelous, incorrect and a LIE!” 

If Joan thinks that ACTUAL BUFFALO CITY COURT DOCUMENTS ARE NOT REAL – and she thinks that they don’t show the FACTS AND TRUTH behind the LIES that she said in that book and continues to spread on the internet: JOAN WHEELER IS SERIOUSLY MENTALLY ILL AND SHOULD BE COMMITTED.

I had posted on November 30, 2011, to this blog, the actual complaint that I sent to Trafford. See: “My complaint to Trafford Publications concerning the slander and libel contained in the book Forbidden Family by Joan WheelerNovember 30, 2011”  It’s a very long document. Because there was just so much shit in that book.

I sent copies (scanned) via mail, of the documents that supported what I said. It was a hard undertaking. Because in the book, Joan lumps together three separate court cases that we were involved in. The first one was in July – August 1993 that Joan had instituted over annoyance phone calls from me. That I made after she baited me into phoning her. She had already told the phone company that I was bothering her, had them install a phone trap (pre Caller-ID days) and then sent me a letter knowing I’d call her. I did, and she said “wait a minute” and hung up. I called back, she said something like she was having problems with the phone cord, hung up. I call again, CLICK. She then reported me for bothering her. And I got hauled into court. I got slapped with a six-month order of protection dated August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. That restraining order was listed as ACD – Adjournment on Condition of Dismissal – which means that at the end of the six months, if I had not done anything, the whole matter would be dropped – dismissed. No criminal record.  And so it was. Despite her saying in the book that I violated the order of protection, (I did not) and that I have a criminal record.

People – don’t take my word for it. Or Joan’s – read the damn actual court document!

The second time we were in court – was because of the letter writing and phone calls she was making to my job and various elected officials, impugning my reputation. And she had the gall to send me copies of those letters. And I was getting blamed for a false child abuse call that I believe Joan made herself – to get ME in trouble. In February 1995 I instituted a harassment charge on her. While waiting for the court date, Joan writes to MY fiance, via his mother’s house, asking him when he was leaving me. The judge dismissed the charges, saying “sisters should get along.” 

The next time we were in court was in 1999, when a former friend of Joan’s told me that Joan had made a death threat against me. Also, in 1998, Joan sent a letter to Gert to my house in an envelope addressed to me and my fiance. This AFTER the District Attorney’s office told us both to leave each other alone. – After the judge dismissed my case in 1995, I had gone back to the DA’s and bitched about it – how could someone be writing letters to my job, call my job repeatedly, trying to get me fired over false accusations and get away with it? They sent someone to my house and Joan’s house and told us both to stop it. Since I wasn’t doing anything TO stop, I was cool with their directive. And there was peace until 1998 when Joan sent that letter, then in February 1999, she sends ME a letter telling my that my fiance got the next door neighbor pregnant – when the house was vacant. Because of that letter and the death threat – I took her to Family Court and they gave me an order of protection against Joan for the duration of one year. 

When I filed the charges in 1999, I told them all the stuff that had gone on before. The clerk made some handwritten notes and then I waited while the papers were typed up. The clerk went into the CITY OF BUFFALO COURT COMPUTER SYSTEM and noted the two previous times we had been in court – in 1993 and 1995. It correctly showed that in 1993 the order of protection was ACD and that my charge against Joan in 1995 was dismissed. It showed no other court dates, as we were never in court at any other time. – this document was sent to Trafford as proof of the actual court dates between us.

In Joan’s book, she has it down that we went to court in the summer of 1994 – over the false child abuse call – which in reality had not taken place until December 1994. She also stated in the book that there was a three month court battle. WRONG! – In 1995, we were in court for three days! – The first was on March 17, 1995 for her arraignment. We were in front of the judge for perhaps 10-15 minutes.The case was adjourned until a date in April. When we got there, the case was adjourned for a later date in May. Again, we were in front of the judge for about 10-15 minutes. When we got to court in May, again, we were in front of the judge for about 10-15 minutes. And the judge dismissed it. – That was in 1995.

 Three month court battle? well, technically, yes, were in court for about 15 minutes in March, another 15 minutes in April, and another 15 minutes in May. But hardly the way she says in the book. 

Also – in the case in 1999 – I brought up that Joan was going around telling people that I had a criminal record. Which was FALSE. I showed the judge in Family Court the order of protection that was summarily dismissed ACD and a certification of completion of a course that I took in 1998 at the Buffalo Police Academy, a course in conjunction with my work as a VIABLE (Volunteer In Asissting Buffalo Law Enforcement) – to augment my work as a neighborhood activist and block club leader. To be accepted into the program, I had to be free of a criminal record and a background check was done on me by the Buffalo Police Department. And NO CRIMINAL RECORD SHOWED UP. This background check was done early 1998 – nearly 5 years after the order of protection was dismissed ACD.

In Family Court – it is not set up like a regular court – you sit at a large table. I took my certificate out of my folder and handed it to the judge. 

In the book, Joan has me screaming and yelling and waving the paper around bitching that I am on the police force. – really? 

So in the book, Joan takes bits and pieces of all three court cases, and combines them into one court case in the summer of 1994. She has me waving my VIABLE certificate around in 1994, when I didn’t take the course until 1998.

 Copies of the court documents and my VIABLE certificate were sent to Trafford and they determined that Joan did slander and libel me with her assertions in the book that in 1994 I had a criminal record when the Buffalo Police Department determined in 1998 that I NEVER HAD A CRIMINAL RECORD.

 Joan can go on Huffington Post and keep insisting that what she put in the book was the truth – and my complaint to Trafford was baseless. That is her right to do so. She can be as delusional as she wants – EXCEPT WHEN HER DELUSIONS ARE IMPUGING MY REPUTATION. 


Joan is a dried up old bitter woman – she is unhappy and miserable.

 I have a good job, with many people who respect me. These include not only fellow nurse’s aides, but registered nurses, supervisors, and several physicians. I have a nice house. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and dotes on me – despite all the attempts by Joan to convince him to leave me. We have been the best of friends since 1978. We moved in together in 1987. We bought our house in 1996. We got married in 2002. And we are still going strong. He is my rock, and I am his. 

Joan is jealous of me – plain and simple as that.

My complaints were baseless? Joan – your whole existence is baseless. You really should stop listening to the voices in your head.

1. kimberlyhardingJanuary 16, 2013

It’s hard to deal with people like this as they are so detached from reality.

 2. gertmcqueenJanuary 16, 2013

Proofs don’t mean a thing to Joan…what are proofs to a person who KNOWS everything!

It’s the world according to Joan Wheeler and any other fact, proof, view point is baseless and false and twisted. Crazy thing is that otherwise SMART INTELLIGENT people believe this crap! They are so locked into their adoption ID and FEELINGS that they are BLIND to reality.

The very fact that we are living breathing people that OPPOSE Joan is all it takes for her to go over the edge and tell the world how evil we are, how we harass her and torment her!

Doesn’t matter to me how many damm sites she goes on or how many books she writes…we shall continue to PROVIDE THE EVIDENCE and people that THINK and SEE will know when they see the proofs.

Joan lives in a fantasy of her own making, the minute I showed up and asked a direct question about WHY she violated my parental authority, she got DEFENSIVE she doesn’t have to ANSWER TO ME! and then waves her hand to dismiss me! The public saw that and they will see it again! cause we birthsiblings do have the evidence that Joan can’t ran away from.

Joan Wheeler is starting her lying false accusations again – calling my job to make trouble January 6, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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First, let’s take a look at a couple of tweets I found – from Joan herself:

Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily to @slyoung50 Hi! Received a Direct Mess from you about a link; it was spam. I s your accounthacked? IF you get spammed by my sisters, tell me

Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily:  If anyone receives any tweets from my sisters, please let me know. They love to cause troublefor me. I am not in their lives at all.

So I answered:

@ruthsippelpace riiight- so why did she call my job after Thanksgiving false accusing me of computer fraud on my job same shit she did in 95

Ruth Pace‏@ruthsippelpace @ruthsippelpace said I using BGH computers to visit Amazon – she don’t work there in the middle of the night – how does she know what I do

Ruth Pace‏@ruthsippelpace @ruthsippelpace Joan Wheeler@forbiddenfamily is a liar and a troublemaker – called my job AGAIN to make trouble –   Ruth Pace‏@ruthsippelpace @ruthsippelpace Joan Wheeler called my job in 1995 almost everyday for months to get me fired – she’s at it again. lying troublemaker   Ruth Pace‏@ruthsippelpace @ruthsippelpace hospital adminstrators investigated Joan’s latest false accusation – found me innocent AGAIN give it up asshole Joan

So what is going on? I will tell you: Back in December 2009 when I first started this blog, Joan was having conniption fits because I was daring to stand up to her bullying lies contained her trash book. I had at the time, a desktop computer, a Dell with Windows 2000 on it. I bought it in 2006 from a used computer store. In September 2009, I purchased an Acer Aspire One notebook – because I do a lot of typing, – I write a lot, and listen to music. I have over 850 albums/cds of music digitized.

When I used to take the bus to work, I would get to work 45 minutes before my start time. So I had time to go to the medical library and use the complimentary PUBLIC computers there. We can access the internet, play games on Pogo.com, shop, do anything. Prior to getting my own home computer, I used those computers to type out the bi-monthly newsletters for my Star Trek group, save it to disk and have Michelle, our group’s organizer print them out at her house. I had to do most of the typing and help with the printing and collating and stapling because she has MS. When I got my own computer, I didn’t have to rely on the computers in the medical library anymore. And the little Acer was perfect for me – I would get to work early and work on the newsletter, or on my lunch break, and listen to my music too! And yes, during my OFF WORK hours I accessed the internet. and by the way – this is all sanctioned by my employer.

So what does Joan do? She’s sees me on the internet in the middle of the night on Facebook and right away ASSUMES that I am using my employer’s computers for fooling around. WRONG.  I take my lunchbreak at 2am. And I wrote about this nonsense  back in 2009! Joan even said on her website that I am “using hospital computers to access websites that I shouldn’t be going on.” – Oh? Does Joan work at my company? Does she make the rules there? What an ass. NO, idiot, I was on MY  PERSONAL MINI LAPTOP! I blogged about it in this post: defamation of character December 11, 2009
This wasn’t the first time Joan had accused me of computer fraud. Back in 1994 – her hospital bill got mixed up with someone else who had a similar name. She right away calls my job to say that I did it. They traced it down to a typo that was made at 4pm. – I work the night shift – I am not in the building at 4 in the afternoon. And my employer  knew I didn’t do it. But Joan wasn’t going to have it. She just KNEW I did it. Never mind that my employers themselves explained to Joan that I didn’t do, couldn’t do it. The computers we had in 1994 were DOS computers. All employees had a signon name and a password, same as today. In my job function as nurses aide, I signed onto the computer, and the ONLY PROGRAM THAT I HAD ACCESS to was to type in a patient’s temperature and blood pressure. In addition: THE COMPUTERS AT THE NURSE’S STATION WERE NOT EVEN HOOKED UP TO THE BILLING COMPUTERS! The billing computers were in a locked office – where I could not get to. HOSPITAL SECURITY CAMERAS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THE COMPUTER SECURTIY SYSTEM, NOW, JUST LIKE IN 1994 CAN TRACE EVERY KEYSTROKE YOU DO.

I was investigated in 1994. AND FOUND INNOCENT. But as I said, Joan wasn’t going to have it. She called my job nearly every day for six months trying to get me fired. She also wrote a three page letter to the director of patient finances – this letter was scanned and posted on this blog in this post: Guessing Game Time – What year did that child abuse call against Joan Wheeler really occur? 1993? 1994? 1995? 1996? Joan has reported all 4 years! -why can’t she make up her mind? November 19, 2010 – so go and read an actual letter that Joan Wheeler wrote to my employer in 1995 to see her exact words – which are a bunch of harassing lies – AND she is telling this guy – a stranger to me – personal and medical information about me. Which has what to do with an accusation of computer fraud?

I also blogged about the whole incident in this post: Ruining someone’s personal and professional reputation December 12, 2009

So last week, January 4, I had a meeting with adminstration – someone wrote a letter to my employee back in November 2012, just after Thanksgiving, which was on Nov. 22, saying that I was “using hospital computers to access websites that I shouldn’t be going on.” – the exact same words Joan said back in 2009. And again, using their computer security systems, they investigated me and — FOUND ME INNOCENT!

Well, Joan also said that I was going to Amazon.com – SPECIFICALLY NAMED AMAZON.COM. I do have an account at amazon, and an amazon store card – just last week I placed an order – I ordered Kevin Sorbo’s book “True Strength” and the second season of Star Trek the Next Generation dvd set. I never did any online banking or shopping prior to having my own computer – because using “shared” computers is a security risk.

But what is interesting about specifically naming Amazon – it was just at that time, we found an adoptee puppet of Joan’s – Heather Holmes of the UK had put out a second book review of Joan’s lying book. Gert answered that book review, as was her right, with a rebuttal review. And she shared her review on twitter, which is also her right. Gert was following some adoption sites, as was her right, and her post was retweeted by someone and the tweet showed up on Heather’s newsfeed. Heather immediately got whacked out of shape and accused us of stalking her. I tell the story on these two blog posts of November 23 and 24. — The internet, social media and Twitter newsfeed and people getting all bent out of shape over nothing. geez! November 23, 2012  and People who put out too much personal information on the public internet and then bitch when people see it – dey be LOSERS!

So IMMEDIATELY AFTER I BLOGGED THESE POSTS, Joan fires off a letter to my employee accusing me of computer fraud. My employer takes this stuff seriously, so they investigated it. AND FOUND ME INNOCENT ONCE AGAIN. Now, I was on my Yule vacation from December 11 to December 28. I was not told about this stuff until January 2 when the meeting was set up. Why? Because I was told they wanted me to enjoy my holiday. At the meeting, I was not accused. I was informed as to what was going on. They said that I was investigated and found innocent. So my employer has my back. They know damn well I am innocent. And they know that someone is fucking with me and they will know that that person is a liar, a troublemaker and an asshole.

And apparently last October, she took in a tenant, who promptly moved out a week later! I received a private message from him telling me this and that Joan is a LIAR – AND MENTALLY DERANGED. His initials are D.K. I do not this person. Never met him. Don’t know how he got my name – obviously from Joan who keeps spreading shit lies about me. But says on twtter last night that she is not in my life.



breaking news and a warning to authorites about Joan Wheeler, who I believe is a menace to society August 1, 2012  and  New whine by Joan Wheeler – and how she shifts the blame off herself onto other people. September 15, 2010

Gert’s tweets about this latest attack on us:

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen

@slyoung50 Hi! Received a Direct Mess from you about a link; it was spam. Is your account hacked? IF you get spammed by my sisters, tell me

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace good question!! she must NEED ATTENTION again, she wants us out of her life, she needs to take DOWN the hate blogs

27mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace yes joan wheeler is at it again, making false statements against us, she is in our lives with her/boyfriend’s blogs

31mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @gertmcqueen @slyoung50 don’t know what joan wheeler thinks, she most certainly IS IN OUR LIVES she has hate blogs against us

32mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen@gertmcqueen @slyoung50 this from joanwheeler forbiddenfamily, we sisters are not doing anything, joan is paranoid and starting trouble

33mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen If anyone receives any tweets from my sisters, please let me know. They love to cause trouble for me. I am not in their lives at all.

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace Joan does NOTHING in the open, she only operates under falsehoods & uses others to attack us

22mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace this is ALL on my blog for the entire world to see, joan & brian need to get a f…ing life and stay out of ours

23mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace so joan &brian insult, harass, accuse us AGAIN over our negative reviews on amazon uk and heatherUK and them plot against us

24mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace joan & brain maloney &heatherUK are pissed cause we wrote a negative review, heatherUK accussed me of stalking her here

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace joan wheeler wrote to my daughter asking her to commit crime in 1998, letter is on my blog, ALL evidence is on our blogs

16mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @ruthsippelpace joan believes everyone is as stupid as she is, WHY is joan writing to anyone’s job? because joan is a trouble maker

20mgert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen  @ruthsippelpace joan wheeler forbiddenfamily is a fool has a long history of this kind of shit & her hencemen are fools to believe her

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen @slyoung50 if you NEVER got a spam from me, better tell forbiddenfamily joan wheeler to take a hike, she is trouble I just followed @slyoung50 ..NEVER did before, but looks like if I’m accused of something better follow the trail

comment by Gert
Submitted on 2013/01/06 at 10:02 am

Joan really must have gotten off her depression and is now on her manic side! Right after Joan writes to Ruth’s employer, she also placed a comment, without her name of course, on Brian’s blog and he answered it, they are a tag team you know, see it here

Brian Maloney, of Williamsville NY, continues his hate speech against the birthsiblings of Joan Wheeler!
by gertmcqueen on December 29, 2012

I will try to get the above as a link… done…see link…

gertmcqueen – January 6, 2013

I just re-read these letters of Joan’s to Ruth’s employer years ago, I had forgotten how disgusting there were…and it amazes me that people DON’T see how fucking sick she is…Brian Maloney are you listening? All these adoptees hate us birth siblings but NONE of them are willing to look at the documented evidences of Joan Wheeler’s actions, in print. And the way that Joan describes these things in that dead book are totally contradictory to what is in the evidence…Joan Wheeler is a sick sick person.

3. RuthJanuary 6, 2013

here we see what goes in Joan’s little bitty mind: as always – whenever something happens – it’s her birth sisters’ fault.  She is ALWAYS accusing us of something. This woman, SLYoung gets her account hacked. Joan right away accuses US of doing it.

This is what Joan has done all her life – blame other people for everything. Especially Ruth. Joan gets a cold? Ruth must have sneezed and gave it to her. Never mind that Ruth is nowhere near her. Joan gets a flat tire on the New York State Thruway? Why, that sly little devil Ruth must have known Joan was coming on that particular stretch of road, drove over there, and put broken glass there. SHUT YOUR MOUTH JOAN AND GROW THE HELL UP. HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW? YOU’RE GONNA BE 57 YEARS OLD TOMORROW? WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL ACTING LIKE A FRIGGIN 10 YEAR OLD?

4. RuthJanuary 6, 2013

what was it that Joan wrote on twitter to S.L.Y.? – “Received a Direct Mess from you about a link..” Direct Mess? Direct MESS? oh you got that right Missy Joanie – you made a damn mess of it – opened your stupid mouth and started some shit. GROW UP.

5. kimberlyhardingJanuary 6, 2013

This is just such an amazing scenario, it’s hard to believe.

It is hard to believe Kim – but this is what this little brat has been doing for years! what asshole keeps calling someone’s job with the same stupid false accusation and sees that the worker is STILL working there? And we have the proof of the twitter episode right there – everything was copied and pasted right off Joan’s own twitter profile! ok, my little stories about her getting a cold or a flat tire being my fault was a bit of playful exagerattion – but I tell you the truth when I say that Joan blames ME for just about everything bad in her life. Or if not me, my other sisters, our dad, our family, our friends, her ex-friends, her ex-landlady, her ex-husband, and on and on and on. It’s ALWAYS the fault of someone else! And her mouth just kees on running like the Energizer Bunny! case in point: In November 2009 I called her up to tell her a family member died. She didn’t like the fact that my father gave me her phone number. So she starts yelling at me on the phone – screaming obscenities at me. I drive to dad’s house – she had called him and did the same to him. When I got home, there was a message from Town of Tonawanda police that Ruth, Gert and Kathy are not call Joan again. um, it was RUTH who called, not Gert, nor Kathy. Gert called the police to tell them this, and they said, “don’t worry about it, we know all about her (Joan)” – so even the police know what an ass Joan is.

7. RuthJanuary 6, 2013

oh I found that S. Young – she lives in Texas. She’s got a kind face. She was forced to give up her child for adoption in 1967, a coerced young girl. So that’s how Joan latched onto her – Joan makes a big show how she feels sorry for unwed teens forced to give up thier kids to adoption. But I guess S.Y. sees what a roitten person Joan is now. Joan is just as bad as those who coerced her back in 1967 – these anti-adoptees don’t care about S’s feelings – they see her and those like her as pawns to use in their campaing against adoption – Joan USED this person in an attack on us – Joan has no shame. – no hacking needed – S.Y. put all this stuff on public internet.

8. Nancy – January 7, 2013

Wow really? Is this the same person who made enough trouble in the past years? I thought it was all over and done, Iam so sorry Ruth, Gert for the harrsing and taunting you two ladies had to go through. Sometimes it’s hard for people to understand the meaning of ” Stop” Leave us alone” Leave me alone!! Or just STOP!! Sometimes they dont understand their bounderies. So Iam assuming this is what she is not understanding with you. So my advise is since you was always found inocent with your employers as well the lies were discovered by this women. Change your feelings towards stupidity. By not replying nor posting reply’s back to her. Because what is happening here, is she is feeding off the attention. She is an attention whore..Pardon the word, but this is what I call rampaged attention whore!! Not the type to find men and climb with them, but women who are bored with their lives as well have nothing to do with it. So, they find a thrill seeker for spauning like trout or samon in cold water. Trouble makers. Let them find somewhere else to haunt. I promise if you just let her continue to fake her crap, and post what ever lies she posts. People will ignore her and she will basically find somewhere and someone else to haunt. Sorry ladies, she would just be wasting my time. And my time is tooo presious. Good Luck Head Hunting!! Love ya Madamstar )O(

I posted a new post: Exactly what is the purpose of our blogs against Joan Wheeler – find out here January 7, 2013  which addresses the questions Nancy has raised.

 10. RuthJanuary 7, 2013

Last night, Gert went into that lying book and quoted a few sentances where Joan discusses her first attempt in accusing me of computer fraud. She accused me, they investigated, found me innocent, but SHE WOULD NOT ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I WAS INNOCENT! SHE DID NOT WANT TO ACCEPT THE REALITY THAT RUTH DID NOT MESS UP HER BILL! Gert tweeted these actual sentances from the book:

gert mcqueen‏@gertmcqueen – pg332/333 of joan wheeler’s hate book she details ‘her story’ of how she believed it was Ruth who was getting into her medical records

gert mcqueen‏@gertmcqueen quoting Joan ‘I called the head of the billing dept & told him everything that had been going on….’

gert mcqueen‏@gertmcqueen quoting Joan ‘letter arrived saying error was a computer glitch & my sister wasn’t involved, I wasn’t convinced’

gert mcqueen‏@gertmcqueen quoting Joan ‘I called the billing department where (Ruth) worked’ lots of drama then ‘called for an investigation to put a stop to it’

bottom line: Joan’s calling my job was not for any kind of concern of me accessing medical records or abusing hospital computers – her motive for calling my job is retaliation – pure and simple hatred and troublemaking. Will she never grow up?

Joan Wheeler is at it again, browbeating an adoptive mother (the actress Edie Falco) using a FACEBOOK account! – new post by Gert McQueen on her blog! April 18, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, mental illness.
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you guys really need to check this out!

Joan Wheeler is at it again, browbeating an adoptive mother (the actress Edie Falco) using a FACEBOOK account!

and not only does Joan show us for the HYPOCRITE that she is – another sicko adoptee from the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum shows what a sick brain she has – she says someone should soak a sock in gasoline, stuff it in Edie Falco’s mouth and set it on fire! – what the hell is wrong with these people? They need to be locked up!


Adoptees identifying with Batman and The Hulk (yes, Joan Wheeler is among them) – but Batman and The Hulk were not adopted. -hey – didn’t they ever hear of Superman? February 3, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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Gert posted this most excellant post over at her blog. I just had to reblog it over here. Because it is so informational.
First: in my comment I admitted that I didn’t Deeply Read Gert’s post. So I will explain.

Over at the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum, one of the so-called “adult” adoptees admitted to identifying with the comic characters Batman and The Hulk. (ah, wait, don’t condemn them just yet – let me do that.). Then Joan, jumps on the bandwagon and says the same thing. – I have posted before that Joan doesn’t have any original thoughts – she just reads an interesting item and rephrases it.
ADOPTEES: why are you identifying with Batman and The Hulk? They were NOT adopted! – roflmao – they are just watching the new movies and have not a clue as to what they are talking about. As usual. anyways, here’s Gert post:


How does Joan Wheeler grieve her losses? Over and over and over again!

 On the public forum for Adult Adoptees Advocating for change…we find Joan, as 1adoptee, confirming that she will never allow herself  to get well, be well and stay well. There is grieving and then there’s grieving! And then there is stupidity and worthless self-pity and then there is just plain mental illness! There does come a point in, anyone’s, life when you just have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get moving with the business of living!
This constant ringing of the hands, weeping and gnashing of teeth, the sack cloth and ashes, gets old pretty fast! I thought that Joan Wheeler had a mental health counselor that is HELPING her! Apparently not! The following rant, of Joan’s, clearly shows, NOT that she is grieving, BUT that she HAS mental illness and that she NEEDS to be on medications!
Not only does Joan continue with her lying ‘story’ and her fantasies about ‘how it most have been’…and of which contribute to her illness…but, she intentionally PUTS herself into these needless fantasies that are causing her the grief that she is fucking grieving!
One of the first things a person that has anxiety disorder needs to do is to STOP doing/thinking about the stuff that gets them anxious! If you are afraid of the world and the news…STOP reading the newspaper and watching the news programs! Go somewhere else…read a nice pleasant book, see a happy movie, PRAY! But STOP reliving, via fact or fanasty, all the thoughts that are causing you anxiety! Not Joan…she loves her pain.  
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2011, 03:52:26 PM »
Grieving our losses, like DP said, is not a one time thing and really must be done over and over.
My mother died a few months after my birth, so I know how it feels to imagine her pregnant and giving birth, and then dying. I do have a few pictures of her, but it’s not enough. Every year on her birthday, I wish her a happy birthday. And every year on the anniversary of her death, I silently retreat into a private space, even if I’m in a crowd. Sometimes, my feelings are numb and I can’t feel. Other times, my feelings overwhelm me and I shake with intense saddness and sob. Songs will spark an emotion and I’m longing for the family I lost at the time our mother died. I can’t imagine what our father must have gone through. He told me of his feelings over the years of our reunion and he cried, feeling guilty that he couldn’t have taken better care of his pregnant wife, that my brother was sick with a cough, and his other children stayed at home with our grandparents while our father and a neighbor took my mother and brother to two separate hosptials. I think of the strain our father was in, and I think of how frightened my mother must have been to be that sick and pregnant at the same time. After my birth, she was told she was dying. How terribly awful that must have been for her.
Each time I look in the mirror, I see parts of my mother and my father. Yes, it helps to know what features come from which parent, but it doesn’t relieve the pain of separation. I don’t like beinig alone at night. I can’t get to sleep unless I read for a bit to try to block my racing thoughts. Or, I do deep breathing. I try to see a different movie in my mind, something else, something calming. And when I wake up, I wake up in anxiety over the losses. It is a moment by moment acceptance of what has happened. It is constant work. Happiness, for me, is fleeting. A freind of mine said for me to practice gratitude, but that just puts me in the place of being grateful for being adopted, which doesn’t help, as we know. Still, I am grateful that I have my children and that I know my story. Sometimes, you just have to sob and shake until the tears stop. It is an uncomfortable way to live. Identifying with Batman, or the Hulk, or any other charachter out there also helps because at least you see that perhaps someone else is feeling those losses, too.
Gert’s comments: 

My gods, it’s worst than I thought!
What the fuck!!! Identifying with Batman, the Hulk!! Okay some one else, on the thread, had mentioned these characters but why, why, even give such nonsense a voice! these characters are from comic books…is there NO real human being that these idiots can IDENTIFY with? and learn how to deal with pain and grief?  
And this is a grown woman who says she is a SOCIAL WORKER and wants to help REFORM ADOPTION, who goes out in the cyber-world and beats people up because they are pro-adoption! No wonder Joan and all those that she ‘grieves’ with are messed up!
Joan obviously has some serious mental issues that have nothing to do with grieving.

identifying with a comic book character! Gert- you should be ashamed of yourself. – Comic book characters are good people to emulate. I’m just wondering why Joan didn’t connect with Kal-el (Superman) – because he not only lost his family and home planet – he was (gasp) ADOPTED by the Kents. His identity torn away and given a new name – Clark Kent. lol.

You know, I also suffered from THE LOSS OF MY MOTHER – at age 3 and a half. I also have my moments of sadness. But geez –

as to MY comic book heroines – I looked up to Saturn Girl, Supergirl/Kara, Wonder Woman/Diana Price, and Lois Lane. Vampirella and Brenda Starr. Women with careers – strong women. Women who took no shit. Women who also suffered losses but overcame them to have a life.

Joan – GET A F’ING LIFE! Because this nonsense about connecting to Batman and The Hulk is ridiculous. Batman witnessed his parents murdered in from of him as a child – you did not..(and little Bruce Wayne knew his parents – you didn’t. Bruce was never adopted – he was raised by relatives, – you were not).
The Hulk is The Hulk due to an overdose of gamma rays – you were not exposed to gamma rays. Bruce Banner, as far as we know, had a normal childhood with his birthparents. so again, this doesn’t apply to you.

Don’t try to talk to me about comic books – I’ve been a comic collector my whole life – I know all about them. For Joan to say she identifies with Batman and the Hulk just shows us she is spouting more garbage and lies.

Gert – I haven’t seen this thread – let me guess – some other idiot adoptee mentioned Batman and The Hulk and Joan, with no original thoughts of her own, just jumped on the bandwagon – I guarantee it. She’s a fool. And I can see right through her idiocy.


Gert here: Hey, I’m NOT against comic books or their heros, male or female. I’ll admit that I don’t know ALL there is to know about the art…hey, it took me decades to UNDERSTAND Star Wars!! and now I love it! The only ‘fantasy’ I read and know is LORD OF THE RINGS and all related stories…and they are based on factual historical mythology, legends and language….so give me a little slack!

I picked up on the fact, as Ruth did, that Joan did not have the ORIGINAL thought, about Batman and the Hulk…which BTW I have NEVER SEEN, again begging your pardon. As you can see, by Joan’s own words, she is REPEATING what someone else said. My point is…is…there any other charactor that can be used to identify with…someone that the rest of the world knows?

Besides that and my own ignorance of the world of comics and their charactors, I am glad that Ruth has enlightened us AGAIN as to the finer points that Joan and the other adoptees have missed by NOT including Superman! Hey, he’s a fine example of an ADOPTEE who overcame his circumstances and who doesn’t show his anger at the rest of the world. Superman actually DOES something worthwhile by helping people. Angry adoptees, Joan, why are you NOT like Superman?

ty Debbie.
by the way – Spiderman (Peter Parker) was bullied in high school. His first girlfriend, Gwen Stacey, was murdered. Peter never succumbed to the “Woe is me” mentality.

Peter was an orphan – he was raised by his elderly Aunt May and Uncle Benjamin. His Uncle Ben taught him; “With great power comes great responsiblity.”

The adoptees have power – with their forum. Despite it’s name “Advocating for Change” – they wallow in their self-pity and other than their wanting open birth records, I see very little “change” – all I see is hate, belittlement of adoptive parents and birth mothers who have given up thier children. they cut birth mothers who relinquish NO slack – no sort of understanding that the birth mothers are flawed human beings. All the adoptees can do is whine “what about MEeeeee.” Well what about the pain the mother went through? What about the pain infertile women go thru? – no, another human being’s pain means NOTHING to them. Joan included. It’s always JOAN’S pain. She never understood that her birth sisters had pain as well. – Pain which had NOTHING TO DO WITH HER ADOPTION.

With great power comes great responsibility. Think about it. And Adoptees – think about what you did last year to Steffi. An adopted person,transgender, very confused,came to your forum. In looking at Steffi’s posts – I could see his/her pain. Yes, Steffi kinda took over the General Discussion threads. Instead of an administrator sending Steffi a private message and telling her to tone it down- the adoptees held Steffi up to ridicule – yes – THEY BULLIED STEFFI – AN ADOPTEE WHO HAD COME TO THEM FOR HELP!

And they claim that their forum is to HELP adoptees? What help did they give Steffi? NONE! Because she didn’t think like they did. She was a transgender – she was beyond thier scope – but instead of helping her – they BULLIED her off the boards! disgusting.


1. Ruth

speaking of a lack of responsiblity – here’s another gem from the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change:
Re: Feel like I don’t belong
« Reply #4 on: Today at 05:44:18 PM »

I feel the exact same, I’m also waiting to search for my birth parents until I’m older and on my own. I despise my sister who is also adopted as well. Family gatherings are the worst just high lights the differences.

Ruth here:
Marina doesn’t say WHY she despises her sister, who also is an adoptee. She just says she despises her. WHY – WHY do these adoptees HATE so much? To HATE another adoptee! oh geez – this one is really warped. – well apparently the thread was about differences – like an adoptee with blue eyes and blonde hair adopted by people of darker coloring – the adoptee doesn’t feel like they belong and begins DESPISING people. – even another adopted child. Who know has to deal with THEIR feelings of “not belonging” but the hatred of someone she has to see every day. Do you adoptees not see the destructiveness that abounds on your forum? All you people do is feed off each other. sick puppies – all of them. They need some dam prozac.

Joan Wheeler FINALLY announces the demise of her book Forbidden Family, but still shows evidence of her silly delusions December 8, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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I revised the front page of this blog on December 5 + 6, 2011. In that post,  I described what Joan has on her tab “About and Buy.” on her website. On December 8, 2011, Joan renamed that tab to say only “About” and wrote the following:

“Forbidden Family has been taken off the market by Trafford Publishing as of May 2011.
It was a short run, but well worth it.
I believe in my book and future success.
The book is not dead, only sleeping while another opportunity is sought.”

First off, she doesn’t say WHY Trafford  took her book off the market. Why not Joan? Got something to hide? Like the very TRUE reason it was taken off the market – for slander and libel and using a photograph that you didn’t have the copyright of.

If someone is going to make a statement like this bullshit – and she says she believes in her book, she would tell her blog readers WHY the book is not on the market. But like the master manipulator Joan is, she will tell only PART of the story. She won’t tell the TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. Just little bits and pieces of sound bites.

She can say her book is only sleeping, and it’s not dead,but she’s only fooling herself and her blog readers. As to using the phrase her book is not dead – we see evidence that  Joan is reading our blog, because it was here that we say the book is dead. And we see more evidence of her delusions. It only took her seven months to admit that the book has pulled from publication. The book IS dead. She claims that the short run of her book was “well worth it?” Worth having the entire world know what Joan’s true lying nature is and exposed? Joan may  “believe” in her book – that is because Joan “believes” her delusions. She DID write in her book that in 1993 she was granted a one year order of protection against me. I have submitted on this blog the actual court document that says it was for six months. Joan says in her book that I was arrested, and placed on probation in 1993. I have submitted actual court documents on this blog that show that is a falsehood, slander and libel.

Joan continues to insist that she changed names in her book to protect identities. No, she changed only SOME names and kept her own name Joan Wheeler in the book. She put on the back of the book, a family photograph that clearly shows my father’s face. AND she names him by his correct name of SIPPEL. My father worked in City Hall and was well known. In his second wife’s funeral guest book, and his mother’s funeral guest book are the signatures of two prominent local politicians. My father’s colleagues and many other people knew that he had given up one daughter for adoption. This was no secret in the 1950’s and 1960’s. Further, Joan wrote an article called “The Secret is Out,” that was published in England and Holland in the early 1990’s. In this article, she gave out the correct names of ME and one of my sisters. In her book Forbidden Family, she  referenced  this article and where it was published, and named the publication. It is available, so any person with any reasonable amount of intelligence could read her book, find her original article and find MY real name, which is sullied in Joan’s book as a criminal, a computer hacker with my employer, and other disgusting detrimental claims to my good name and character.

Joan says that we sisters identified ourselves first on our blog – no we did not. I started my blog late November 2009. Her book had already come out in the beginning of November 2009. The book Forbidden Family was already offered for sale by Trafford Publishing BEFORE I started my blog. And in September 2008, on a now-defunct Blogger blog, Joan identified her birth sisters. A full year before the book was published and my blog was started. 

I started this blog as the direct result of two internet sites that Joan publicized her “new” book – the first one was actually an interview/article by ABC.com titles “Adoptees face Sting of Discrimination.” In that article, Joan was interviewed and she put forth many falsehoods, both in the body of the interview/article and in 5 or 6 additional comments. I submitted comments refuting her statements, but they were not accepted.  On another website, called “The Daily Bastardette”, was a piece promoting Joan’s book. In that article, there was a falsehood, put forth by Joan, and published by the website’s owner Marley Greiner. I submitted a comment, refuting what Joan told Ms. Greiner. Ms. Greiner did not publish my comment.  I was frustrated, because Joan was able, via these two sources, and her own new wordpress website called Forbidden Family to get out her lies and misrepresentations of my family, but I could not get out the truth. So I began this blog. I had known that Joan had a blog on google’s blogspot for some time, but never paid much attention to it. I did see the warning that she put out in September 2008 to the Wheeler clan, the Herr clan and The Three Sippel Sisters to “leave her alone,” although nobody was bothering her. I made screen shots of that warning, but did nothing else. I ignored the little child.

Apparently, sometime in the summer of 2009, when her book was going to press, she built her wordpress blog and titled it Forbidden Family and began to promote her new book. She transferred all her files from the blogger blog to the new wordpress blog.  In October 2009, on Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of  Atonement, Joan wrote a blog post about Yom Kippur, but got some things wrong. As it turns out, my sister Kathy, converted to Judaism several years ago. She wrote a comment on Joan’s blog, a very nice comment, but it corrected Joan in the points she got wrong. Joan graciously accepted the comment for publication, and even left a nice note, something along the lines “I knew someday we would re-connect.” The two comments stayed on her blog for a few days, when all of a sudden, with no action taken from either me, or Kathy, Joan turned 180 degrees (this is very typical of her) and accused Kathy and me of spying on her, and getting her blogger blog shut down.  ???? What? — and then she dragged Gert into it.

Gert had not been on the internet AT ALL! She had a computer at home, for personal work, did not have internet access, didn’t go to public computers for such. Kathy was brand new to the internet.  With a brandnew computer, wasn’t internet savvy enough NOT to leave her private email containing her name, on the comment she put on Joan’s blog. Joan then emailed her and bitched her out! For nothing! Kathy was upset, and rightfully so. She complained to WordPress, she said that 1. she only corrected some points about the Jewish religion that Joan had gotten wrong, and 2. why was the webhost (Joan) emailing her and threatening her. WordPress went in and took down the post about Yom Kippur, and all comments as well. Joan became enraged! She left a nasty post saying she was not going to be censored. She went out and BOUGHT a website from StartLogic and began building a new Forbidden Family website, and transferred all her files from her wordpress blog over there. And then closed down her blogger blog and wordpress blog – but then said that it was The Three Sippel Sisters who closed her down. Which is a big fat lie. She closed those blogs down HERSELF.

That happened in September, October and the beginning of November 2009. I was not involved AT ALL with the Yom Kippur postings, nor was Gert. But I was sympathetic with Kathy. And I began this blog, the third week of November. I originally titled it, “Refuting Joan Wheeler’s statements about her Forbidden Family.” I ordered the book from Amazon.com the first week of December 2010, and received it a few days later. I opened the book and just glanced at it and saw many lies. I was disgusted. Since this blog had already been started, I went in and changed the title to Refuting the Book Forbidden Family. Her book came out BEFORE I started this blog.  So Joan had done the damage BEFORE my blog was in existence.

Joan also keeps insisting that she had the right to publish MY family photograph on the back of her book. NO, she does not, did not have that right. Joan says on her website that she spoke to a literary attorney. If she did, she misled them, just as she misled Trafford Publishing. Joan signed a contract with Trafford Publishing in 2009, but in 2011, when they saw the actual court documents, and what I outlined in the above paragraph, THEIR attorneys agreed that Joan VIOLATED their rules of conduct of authors. 

The photograph in question is of my parents, me, and my 3 siblings. It was taken in 1955. Joan was not born until January 1956. She was not in the photograph. This photograph was widely distributed among relatives in the 1950’s and 1960’s. I don’t care where or when Joan was given a PAPER COPY of this photograph. Joan says that in the photograph, our mother was pregnant with her. We have no proof of that. She looks fat. But that’s not the point. Joan was NOT A LEGAL ENTITY UNTIL SHE WAS BORN ON JANUARY 7, 1956. IN THE WINTERTIME! The photo was taken in the summer or early fall 1955. Joan did not legally exist when the photograph was taken, therefore, she does NOT OWN THE SOLE COPYRIGHTS TO THAT PHOTOGRAPH.

One of the articles in the contract that Joan signed with Trafford Publishing was that “the author is the SOLE COPYRIGHT OWNER OF THE WORK AND ALL ITS CONTENTS.” In order to publish that photograph, Joan needed the permission of those pictured in the photograph. She claims on her website that “no permissions were needed to use this photo.” – WRONG! Because this photo was being put on a work that was to be used for MONETARY INCOME, Joan did indeed NEED TO GET PERMISSION FROM ALL LIVING PERSONS IN THE PHOTOGRAPH. She “claims” she had our father’s permission. I want to see his signature, and it had better have been notarized, because if it wasn’t -it doesn’t prove a thing – because Joan has been known to forge things.   

I am in that photo, as well as my sisters, and Joan DID NOT GET OUR PERMISSION IN WRITING OR ORALLY to publish OUR likeness on a vehicle for her to make money. Joan in the past has tried to skip around the issue by saying the faces were blurry and obscured by text. WRONG! The faces are not that blurry, and text does obscure faces of my mother, my brother, and my two sisters. BUT MY FATHER’S FACE AND MY FACE ARE CLEARLY VISIBLE. Since my likeness has been placed on a body of work that garnered income for Joan Wheeler, WITHOUT MY PERMISSION – I hereby demand my share of all monetary sums from all sales of the book Forbidden Family in the years 2009, 2010, 2011. 

Many people in  the Buffalo area know my father, they know his last name, they know my mother’s maiden name, which is given out in the book. That photograph is well known by many people. We have a large family, and everybody knows who Joan Wheeler is. Joan had her picture published in The Buffalo News,with her full name given out – and she spoke about adoption. The following week, my father was interviewed by The Buffalo News and spoke about her adoption. In the interview HIS FULL REAL NAME, ALONG WITH HIS PHOTOGRAPH was published.

 Because of her many years of writing articles for The Buffalo News and other places, Joan’s name and circumstances of her adoption have been well publicized. On the internet, BEFORE the book was published, Joan herself was using a name that DID NOT LEGALLY BELONG TO HER! She wrote many opinion pieces throughout the internet on adoption, using the signature “Joan Wheeler, born Doris Sippel.” – Therefore, she gave out MY legal maiden name BEFORE the book was published.

In 1980, both Joan and I appeared on a locally produced human interest news story about adotion reunion. We were interviewed by reporter Rich Kellman and the half-hour show was televised on WGRZ-TV of Buffalo, New York. In this interview, we both gave our names, she as Joan Wheeler, and me as Ruth Sippel. Our faces were not concealed.  Neither Joan, nor I, were paid any moneys for this televised appearance.

Many people know me, and know that I have an adopted-out younger sister that I was reunited with, and they know her name as Joan Wheeler.  Many people  have known that for the last 30 years Joan wheeler has been writing this book. Therefore, when that book came out, and Joan started publicizing it on the internet, and it was available for sale, someone sees it, sees the author “Joan Wheeler,” sees the photograph, and knows that photograph – they can know EXACTLY who Joan is writing about. Whether she changed ALL the names or only SOME of the names.

Also, Trafford Publishing puts out a guideline for authors. One of the guidelines says, “even if you change names, if someone can recognize themselves in your book, you can be sued for slander and libel.” 

In a recent correspondence with Gert McQueen, Americans for Open Records Lori Corangelo says in defense of Joan: “first time wrtiers make mistakes.” oh – well! First time drunk drivers who kill people make mistakes too. riiight.

Excuse me Lori, these are NOT “mistakes” that Joan did. She was given a specific contract with Trafford. She signed that contract KNOWING FULL WELL SHE WAS MISLEADING THEM. And when their attorneys learned the TRUTH of the matter – they pulled that filthy book from publication. It IS DEAD.

It has been listed as available on amazon.com. But – it is a “print on demand” situation. Once the original print run was exhausted, any new orders via amazon would be printed and sent to the buyer. BUT just two months ago, in a conversation with Trafford PUblishers, it was revealed that Trafford has pulled the book from even that status. They know that book is LEGAL TROUBLE for them and want nothing more to do with it. Amazon is a mostly automated site. It is going to list 3 copies as a come-on – a “bait and switch.” There is more to this story and will be posted next week. We have just been busy. We have several blog posts waiting to get up.

People need to learn once and for all that Joan Wheeler is a con-artist. She is a consumate liar. She could sweet talk and charm even Adolf Hitler! She will only tell a literary attorney and/or agent what they need to know to approve her work. She did it to Trafford. And as soon as they found out that she conned them – they pulled the plug on her. Lori, are you stupid or what?

Joan – remember – you can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time. And your days of fooling people are over! You can keep on insisting your book is the “truth” and keep on ignoring actual Buffalo City Court Documents and YOUR OWN HANDWRITTEN LETTERS TO ME AND OTHERS that prove otherwise.

For Joan to LIE about past police and court documents, even her own handwritten letters shows just how mentally disturbed and brain dead Joan Wheeler really is. I am begging someone reading this blog, to please, please, get Joan to a place where she clearly needs to be – The Buffalo Psychiatric Center.

LORI CORANGELO AND OTHERS: I think you’d better read this: from the pdf. file of Trafford’s Publishing’s “Terms and Conditions.” These are the Terms and Conditions that Joan Wheeler agreed to when she signed (under false pretenses) her contract with Trafford and the ones that she VIOLATED – she had hate speech in her book, obscene language, had me saying things that I didn’t, labeled me as a computer hacker with a criminal record and used MY photograph. 


2.1. You represent that you are the sole copyright owner of the Work and all of its content.

2.2. You represent that the Work does not infringe upon any statutory or common law right of copyright, libel or privacy of any third party.

2.4. You further represent that the Work does not contain illegal, unlawful or objectionable material including, but not limited to, pornography, obscenity or hate speech. You acknowledge that the Work is not plagiarized and does not include falsely attributed statements of third parties.

3.(Trafford’s Legal Responsibility
3.2. We reserve the right to refuse to provide and/or to discontinue ALL Services upon our discovery of any violation by you of these Terms and Conditions, any other actions, omissions or misconduct by you with respect to Work, and/or your performance under these Terms and Conditions. In the event a complaint is made by a third party regarding the Work, we reserve the right to suspend the Services in accordance with Section 7.1 until such time as the complaint is satisfactorily resolved, as determined by us in our sole discretion.

Tell us again Lori of how Joan made a “mistake” – you are full of shit, and so is Joan.

Comment by Gert McQueen: 

This is very very interesting, indeed!!
As Ruth says:
“There is more to this story and will be posted next week. We have just been busy. We have several blog posts waiting to get up.”

There is definetly true! There is so much more to the story of Joan’s lying book and it’s DEATH! Stay tuned!

Make no mistake…the book, as she wrote it, is DEAD, it will never be republished. And…if she EVER writes another, she had better NOT mention the names and lives of the birth family…we give NO PERMISSION, for her to earn money off our names and lives.
Furthermore, we shall be always watching her to make sure she NEVER LIES ABOUT US AGAIN.

4. gertmcqueenDecember 12, 2011

Gert here…again…
Thank you Ruth for giving such a detailed clarification of the time line of when Joan published, on the internet and in print, lies about us, and when we got involved.

For the record…I had no knowledge of what Joan was doing, nor did I care, for years…I had about 3 contacts with her since 1980 and each one was used AGAINST ME by her.

In Dec of 2009 I was in the middle of a physical move when both Ruth and Kathy called me telling me that Joan published the book! I did not get to see a physical copy until late Jan 2010. I then got an email account and started emailing my posts to Ruth for her blog. It wasn’t until July 2011, when Ruth had a injury, did I get a blog of my own. In the past two years I have learned and read many many things that Joan has done that I was not aware of before but now that I am I shall make sure that everyone knows about them.

So Joan and anyone else out there that wants to believe in their own bullshit, be my guest and continue to lie to yourselves! But, truth wins out and liars are always shown for what they are!

If Joan is waiting for another opportunity she is going to wait for a long long time. Her story has been written and her history is NOW known. Any other book written by Joan will be looked at very carefully, believe me. Her book is not sleeping, it’s dead. Joan doesn’t understand the difference. Once a liar always a liar and anyone who thinks they can get another book published by that liar had better understand the nature of libel…it always follows you.

Beware of helping Joan Wheeler, you could find yourself in a law suit.


from Gert McQueen’s blog: Do some adoptees, that have mental illness, get it from their genes or environment or because they are adopted? Joan Wheeler presents her views! November 7, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Today, November 7, 2011, Gert McQueen posted this on her blog. I am posting it here, in it’s entirety, because it’s so important. – Read, and please learn from it.
by Gert McQueen 
Do some adoptees, that have mental illness, get it from their genes or environment or because they are adopted? Joan Wheeler presents her views!
The question was raised on Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change…
« on: October 24, 2011, 03:28:47 PM »
If you are diagnosed mentally ill…. do you feel it is genetics, crazy upbringing by aparents or is it just the life on an adoptee? where do you think it comes from.
 1adoptee AKA Joan Wheeler answers
« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2011, 12:41:17 PM »
Nancy Verrier’s other book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, is one that ought to be given to any therapist who treats an adoptee. Verrier addresses the core issues of abandonment and loss. On page 429: “…proceeds from the separation trauma. It would be a huge mistake to try to untangle the adoptee’s relationship to the adoptive parents without understanding of the lens through which the adoptee views them. All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well. Something devastating happened to him which makes him distrust close relationships.” … “Instead of pathologizing society’s penchant for separating babies and their mothers, we pathologize the victims of a grave wrongdoing… We need to normalize the adoptee’s and the birth mother’s responses to this separation or at least come up with a better diagnosis, because what is happening is that inaccurate diagnoses are resulting in poor or harmful treatment.” “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions….The most notorious is the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. This term is frequently used within the mental health profession as little more than (page 430) a sophisticated insult…..Adoptees are not Borderlines!” Basically, adoptees do not split in their minds. Adoptees actually do have two mothers and two fathers. (my words) On page 448: “This brings us to a more accurate diagnosis for what adoptees and birth mothers are suffering from —- post-traumatic stress disorder. …trauma is based in reality, unlike other psychological disorders, trauma is based on a true experience.” Get the book and ask your therapist to read it.
 What she say? Oh right…abandonment and loss! Are adoptees the only people that have experienced these things? Most of this comes from a certain point of view that is current in the psycho-babble of ‘healing the adoptee’ and this babble gives these angry militant adoptees a license to go out and browbeat everyone and everything in favor of adoption. These people ought to be ashamed and the public informed…which is what I’m doing.
Any child that has been placed with someone, other than an parent, for any reason, might suffer from abandonment and loss. I know that I DID and I’m not an adoptee! I have had issues with ‘distrust in close relationships’ too, not because I was adopted but because I felt the abandonment and loss that comes from having a parent die when I was a small child and having been placed in a foster home! These issues are NOT the sole property of adoptees!
It just might be that if a person has a mental illness it just means that…they have a mental illness and they ought to stop laying blame, for it, upon adoption. Joan Wheeler will never see the world in the way it truly is because she is a true believer in the ‘world according to Joan’ and we must not confuse her with anything but her own facts.
Joan says: Basically, adoptees do not split in their minds. Adoptees actually do have two mothers and two fathers.
Well…I too had more than one mother and father…I had foster parents!! And I was also grateful to have had someone who cared for me!
Joan says: post-traumatic stress disorder. …trauma is based in reality, unlike other psychological disorders, trauma is based on a true experience
It seems to me that some types of adoptees are just not able to come to terms with their life like regular people do. Here is the bottom line, these people relish their pain, they love their pain and wouldn’t know what to do without their pain! Come on…PTSD!!! This is nonsense! Joan might suffer from it but that’s probably due to her own inabilities over her life to come to terms with the reality of life…she was adopted…she had a crazy home life with adoptive parents…she and only she destroyed every relationship in her birth family because of her negative behaviors. If Joan suffers from PTSD it is NOT because she was adopted, its because she has always HAD to argue with everyone over the fact that she was ADOPTED! Get over it already.
oh brother, here we again. The poor little misunderstood adoptee. As if they are the only ones on the planet that had bad stuff happen to them. Want some cheese with that whine my dear?

“All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well..

Really? – What I UNDERSTAND is that when I was reunited with my adopted-out birth sister Joan Wheeler, after I opened my life and arms and heart to her is that is was clear that her morals and values were NOT like mine, or other members of my family. We were raised not to steal, not to lie, to treat people with kindness. Unlike Joan. I don’t know where she learned it from – but just a few years after our reunion she turned into a bitch.

She lied to me, manipulated me, stole from me, harassed me, set me up to phone her by sending me forged letters and greeting cards, (and when I phoned, she hung up on me, then told the police that it was ME who was placing annoyance phone calls), then she called my job to get me fired, tried to break me and my fiance up, wrote letters to his mother trashing me, wrote letters to elected officials, called child abuse on herself, implicating me, sent me a letter telling me my infertile husband got the next door neighbor pregnant, writes a book full of slander and libel. – Sooo what’s to understand?

So, let me get this straight – in Nancy Verrier’s book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, she says, “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions”

I don’t need to have doctorate as a “helping profession” (does she mean psyciatrists, psychologists, mental health counselors), to know that WRONGFUL THINGS were done to me by an out-of-control person who refuses to grow up.

As for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – many many people suffer from it. But that does not give ANYbody an excuse to break the law, harass other people, bully other people, or generally be a total idiot. My husband is a Vietnam Veteran who has PTSD and still somehow holds down a job, owns a house, takes care of the house and me, is a law-abiding person, does not bully or bother anyone. So don’t give that crap that Joan Wheeler’s behavioral problems needs to be “understood.” BULL! She’s a trouble-making liar, plain and simple as that.

so getting back to the queston on the forum: “If you are diagnosed mentally ill…. do you feel it is genetics, crazy upbringing by aparents or is it just the life on an adoptee? where do you think it comes from.” – – I don’t care where it comes from – all I know is that I have been used and abused by Joan Wheeler and I don’t give a damn about any so-called “trauma” Joan has endured – from anything – all I know is IT DOES NOT GIVE HER THE RIGHT TO TURN AROUND AND TRAUMATIZE ME.

I was NOT traumatized by HER adoption! so get that thought right out of your heads. I suffered from the loss of MY mother. Then my father’s disastrous second marriage. Yet, I managed to grow up into a law-abiding person, who is contributing member of society, a person who has held down the same job in the same facility for 39 years, who saw disinetgrating quality of life issues on my street (drug use, litter, rodents) and organized a block club and worked with local government officials to correct those problems. And for that – Joan ridicules me in her book. What asshole ridicules a person who is trying to better American society? Joan Wheeler – that’s who. Oh, I’m SORRY, poor little Joan was adopted, and despite the title of that book (adoptees grow up) – Joan Wheeler will NEVER grow up. – excuse me while I go puke.

you know what this all boils down to? – The failure of people to accept SELF-RESPONSIBILTY for their own actions!

It’s so much easier to place the blame on someone or something else when you fuck up.

“The devil made me do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.

“You made do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.

“My rotten childhood made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.

“My adoptive parents made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.

We are human and we will all make mistakes. The point is, when you make a mistake, own up to it. There is no devil, no other person, be they your parent (adopted or birth), other family member, boss, rude cashier at the store, co-worker, customer, neighbor, that can MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT TO DO!

I have said before on my blog – when Joan has written lies about me on the internet – it wasn’t me who forced my way into her house, hold her gunpoint, march her to the computer and “make” her type out lies about me – it was Joan herself, who made the concsious decision to write her lies. And she has gotten caught in some lies, some contradictions on the internet. We have copied and pasted her words, making notes of the dates and place where she said something, and then a few months later, we have seen her contradict herself on the internet. Again, I didn’t hold a gun to her to make her make a liar out of herself. She alone did that. As it was Joan’s conscious decision all these years to commit those harassments against me and others. She just doesn’t have the courage and backbone to stand up for herself and admit it. She’s a sniveling little coward and will just lay all the blame on me and her other sisters for the failure of our reunion. Or blame someone else.

There’s a cute little thing about blame – when you point a finger at someone, look at your hand, you will see your other fingers all pointing back at — YOU!

Stop with the whining, the blaming, the nonsense that “I was adopted, I can’t help myself” bullshit. ‘Cos that’s all it is – BULLSHIT!

And if you’re mentally ill, for god’s sake, take your damn medications so you won’t be a nuisance to other. Because we all have busy lives and we don’t have time for you losers. Maybe you didn’t ask to be mentally ill, and for that, I’m genuinely sorry, just like I feel bad for people with MS, cancer, cystic fibrosis. HOWEVER, my sympathy stops when you make MY life miserable and then turn around gleefully and say, “It’s not my fault – I got PTSD!” – ‘cos I don’t buy that excuse either.

Joan Wheeler admits to punishing people for deeds and statements they did not do or say. July 9, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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I was reading our last post and something Joan said hit close to home:

“About two years before my adoptive mother died, I was thinking about this and the fact that this aunt and my adoptive parents knew I had sisters and brothers when I was adopted, and NO ONE from the adoptive family wanted me to know about them,, so I took this up with my therapist. “Does your mother know how you feel?” was the question. I spent a yar and half crying to my mother about these two issues and she finally said, “But I didn’t say that to you!” (about the comment made at my adoptive father’s funeral). My adoptive mother never appologized for keeping me away from my siblings all of my life. BUt my aunt and my cousins definately felt I was wrong to be in a reunion with my natural father and my siblings. My adoptive mother died this past March. The cousin who made that remark was present in the room when my mother was dying, so was her mother and her sisters. Two sisters appologized and tearfully hugged me as my mother lay dying. My aunt never appologized. My natural father died this past January.” (all misspellings are Joan’s)

Pay attention to this line: “I spent a yar and half crying to my mother about these two issues and she finally said, “But I didn’t say that to you!” (about the comment made at my adoptive father’s funeral).”

This is so typical of Joan. She punishes people for things THEY HAVE NOT DONE OR SAID TO HER! Why did she spend a year and a half crying to her mother over something her mother DID NOT SAY?? Like it was her mother’s fault for something that her cousin said?

All through her book, Joan has taken words said by one person, and stuffed them into other people’s mouths!  For example, in her totally fictitious telling of a visit by Prof. Rene Hoksbergen to my house in 1987 (he NEVER stepped foot in my house), she has me saying to Hoksbergen “why is she putting our family business out in public?”

I never said that to Joan – EVER! In another incident, in the book, she relates a tale of an email exchange that she and I had in early 2004 and again, she has me berating her for “airing our family’s dirty laundry in public.” I had kept the printouts of that email exchange and scanned them and posted them here on this blog. NOWHERE in the email exchange did I say that. And you can read that email exchange here.

Gert and I noticed that many times statements that Joan attributes to her birth sisters were actually spoken by her amother. In her effort to paint everyone in her life with the same attitudes and oral statements, she takes statements from her mother and has other people saying them. This lends credence to her delusional ideas that everyone in her life is against her and out to get her.

I’ve been saying through out this blog, for a year and a half now, that Joan contradicts herself left and right. And I said before that she is on a path of punishment to anyone who supports adoption, and for some reason which I haven’t quite figured out why – she is on a path of punishment of her own birth sisters.

     And we have here her own admission of her own contradictory way of thinking. And her pattern of punishing people for something they did not do! She relates in her book about her acousin’s statement at her afather’s funeral. She has said the same thing on the internet before. Now she admits she was PUNISHING HER AMOTHER FOR THIS STATEMENT WHEN HER AMOTHER DID NOT SAY IT.

So let’s get this straight- in 1982, a cousin says a stupid thing to Joan. From 1982 to 2009, she’s been letting this thing fester inside of herself, and directing that festering anger at the cousin and her amother who did NOT say it. FOR 27 YEARS JOAN WAS  DIRECTING THAT FESTERING ANGER AT AN INNOCENT PERSON!

Like I said, Gert and I found many instances in the book where she has attributed statements to one person, when it was actually said by another person. And Joan says her book was written by her point of view.

Well her point of view is absolutely delusional, and that book is nothing but a chronicle of a deranged mind.

1. Gert McQueen – July 11, 2011
Ruth said:
And Joan says her book was written by her point of view.
Well her point of view is absolutely delusional, and that book is nothing but a chronicle of a deranged mind.

Gert adds:
this is totally correct! The book was (that’s past tense) nothing about adoption reform or how to deal with being an adoptee. The book was (that’s past tense) a detailed account of Joan’s mental view point, was not based on any real accounts with real people and a expression of her intense rage at being adopted. The book is Joan’s personal DIARY of her inner thoughts, views and opinions and as such is a work of demented fiction!

And Joan Wheeler believed that she was going to make tons of $ from that book and have a movie deal out of it!!! Delusional thinking will do that for you!

 Ruth – July 11, 2011
What is amazing to me, especially in light of Jennifer’s recent comment, is that people don’t see that when someone publishesa book that is THEIR VIEWPOINT AND OPINION, it is no longer a work of NON-FICTION!

What further amazes me is that Joan says in her book that I have an arrest record, and that at one point in time, she herself was arrested 3 times in one month! Neither she, nor I were ever arrested! When Joan put that in her book, the book ceased to be TRUTH. And when any person writes in a book that they were arrested three times in one month, when they never were, and other people like Jennifer continue to support, all I can do is say WHERE THE HELL ARE PEOPLE’S BRAINS?

I once challenged any and all law-enforcement personell who might be reading this blog to do criminal background checks on me and Joan. One of Joan’s supporters, who at one time left a couple of obscenity-laden comments here on this blog is a police officer. I wonder if she took me up on my challenge – because she hasn’t been back since. At least SOMEbody finally used their brains.

A call to arm against the nasty sisters. – Joan Wheeler calls in the big dudes to sic it to us – roflmao! June 17, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Gert McQueen

For those that have not seen the recent events on line here is the link to see Joan Wheeler’s article and all the comments.


On June 15, 201, Joan noticed that Ruth and I had commented on her article and so she goes to the adult adoptee’s forum and places this call to arm against her sisters!!! 

« Reply #11 on: Today at 12:42:25 PM »

For those of you who care to comment further, I need your help. The sisters who still stalk me on this forum have made comments online following this article about how they were able to pull my book from the publisher because of the lies that I told. First,, my article iin the Buffalo News has nothing to do with reunion, and second, the publisher pulled the book without an attorney representing me so I am having my own attorney look into the matter. Thirdly, the book was written from my point of view, not theirrs,, so of course they would disagree. This is all so very costly, both in money and emotional energy for me. They insist on publicizing their own blogs which continute to be filled against me.
 This call resulted in only ONE person, Laura, coming after me on the comments and I just put her in her place. There have been no other supporters and no one is talking about it…just where are Joan’s supporters? Anyway…
This call for help, by Joan to her adoptee friends, contain quite a lot of valuable information. It proves that Joan still believes her own propaganda…that she is being stalked! It doesn’t hurt to say this again…reading online articles and blogs and commenting on them is NOT any form of stalking. If anything, Joan is guilty of stalking the birth sisters because she still HAS not one but two, count them 2, blogs wherein she slanders us, continually. So until Joan Wheeler removes the blogs that talk about us in slanderous ways, we shall continue to watch, monitor and comment on her words.
She attempts to draw the attention to the fact that the book was pulled only because WE SAID she lied. She does not accept the fact that the book was indeed pulled, that is why she still promotes the book. Then she goes into the reasons why we sisters have no business commenting on her article. One, that the article has nothing to do with reunion…that is very telling…she can only think about us in ‘reunion’ mode…she does not see nor acknowledge any wrong doing on her part…its all the nasty sisters.
Second, she says “the publisher pulled the book without an attorney representing me so I am having my own attorney look into the matter.”
Oh she is waiting for her attorney…like she has one on retainer!…to look into the matter, so that the book will be reprinted no doubt! Ha what a laugh, she is on Social Security Disability and the state of NY pays the Legal Aid lawyers that she hounds to get help from!  Fact is that there was NO NEED for an attorney to represent her in the matter. It was a matter of a CONTRACT between Joan Wheeler and Trafford Publishing! Trafford’s lawyers took 4 months looking over the content of the book and the evidence that we sent them and they ‘covered’ their own backsides BEFORE they contacted Joan to inform her that they were pulling the book. Joan signed a contract and the contents of the book were in violation of the contract. She was told she could REWRITE it. They told both me and Ruth that if any rewrite was submitted, it will be looked at very very closely. So Joan could wait forever for her attorney from legal aid to tell her she doesn’t have a leg to stand on…or…Joan could just take me to court and sue my sorry ass for bothering her! I welcome an attorney…please please send a attorney after me!!!
Third she says: “the book was written from my point of view, not theirrs,, so of course they would disagree.”
Very very telling…same old rap…and not rap music…this is Joan’s story and she’s sticking with it, don’t confuse her with the truth that will only cause her head to explode! POP there goes Joan’s head! She can’t get it…she can not write something, about other people, from her point of view, and call it truth. She can not understand why we ‘disagree’ with her view. Doesn’t matter anymore Joan…keep speaking your rap, keeping popping up on public forums so that we can blow your logic and your view to shreds! At some point even a dog learns to stop doing something if he gets hit enough times!
Joan says: “This is all so very costly, both in money and emotional energy for me.”
I’m very glad to know that this is costly to her! It’s about time that she pay a bit for all the years and the continued harassments that she has done and is doing to us…pay baby pay! But what money is she spending on this? She doesn’t have a lawyer to pay…if she did…she would have me in court already. I don’t have to get a lawyer, cause getting one will cost me money and there is NOTHING that Joan has that I could gain from any damages because Joan Wheeler is a disabled person with on income or assests.
The cost of her emotional energy is again something that I’m very glad to hear…pay baby, pay!! You have done it all to yourself…all your words, in that book, are going to be coming back to haunt you. I am not done, there is a lot of things that have not gotten on this blog but in due time it will and I hope that each and every blog post causes you more emotional energy loss.
Finally she says: “They insist on publicizing their own blogs which continute to be filled against me.”
How does she know that our blogs (actually only one) are filled against her? She obviously is reading it! She can’t keep away…we see the stats, we know the sites that come and read it and Joan is right there, checking on what we say…so why doesn’t Joan just learn to give it up!
Joan, you lost, your book is garbage and untruthful, it is libelous and will not be reprinted, start over with writing your life…hey Mara said you have enough material on your nasty sisters to write a second book…so go for it…but next time make sure you don’t mention that ‘forbidden family’ cause we shall haunt you forever!

1. Lisa Marie – June 17, 2011
Congratulations on having her book pulled.

 2. Ruth – June 18, 2011
Thank you Lisa
as to Joan’s call for the calvary charge –
hee hee hee
She called , they ignored.
“What? What was that? A call to go over to your sister’s blog and leave hate messages? Um, we did that in February 2010. Then some of us did it in May 2010, then we did it again, um when was it? Geez, we don’t remember. — so let’s get this straight- you keep whining to us about your big bad birth sisters, you keep trashing them on different internet forums, oh yeah, that’s right – in March 2011, you told lies on The Huffington Post about them, invading their privacy, trashed your own grandfather, and got yourself kicked off the Huffington Post. So now what? You want us to come and swear at your sisters again?, sorry, we got better things to do. Been there, done that.”


Joan Wheeler admits to having told lies in her book Forbidden Family June 17, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Ruth Pace

Joan didn’t like the fact that Gert and I read her editorial in The Buffalo News and like a little girl, went running to the adoptee forum for help again. 

  Re: The Buffalo News finally published my article on adoptees birth certs! « Reply #11 on: Today at 12:42:25 PM »


For those of you who care to comment further, I need your help. The sisters who still stalk me on this forum have made comments online following this article about how they were able to pull my book from the publisher because of the lies that I told. First,, my article iin the Buffalo News has nothing to do with reunion, and second, the publisher pulled the book without an attorney representing me so I am having my own attorney look into the matter. Thirdly, the book was written from my point of view, not theirrs,, so of course they would disagree. This is all so very costly, both in money and emotional energy for me. They insist on publicizing their own blogs which continute to be filled against me.

 Look at this sentence again – “…have made comments online following this article about how they were able to pull my book from the publisher because of the lies that I told.”

 Joan does not say “because of the lies THEY ALLEGE I TOLD,” but says “because of the lies I told.” Typo? Not a chance – this is a classic Freudian slip of the tongue/hands on keyboard. This whack job is fairly SCREAMING for help. She is so lonely, her tormenting mama died. The only life she has ever known is strife and torment. So like a little child, she comes running to bait Gert and me – FOR ALL THE ATTENTION WE CAN GIVE HER! She has no family – she says this all the time. All she ever wanted was her birth family. When she first found out she was adopted when she was 16, she made the conscious decision to SEEK OUT HER BIRTH FAMILY. She WANTED to be connected with us – she still CRAVES THAT CONNECTION.

 Over and over she says she is incomplete. She wants her family. So she does things to get our attention. And in a sick way, she self-sabotages what she wants. This is classic behavior of a delusional sick person – any therapist will tell you that.

 Where are the guys in the white coats?

now look at this sentance: “They insist on publicizing their own blogs which continute to be filled against me.”

see how she says blogS – again, we see how she EXAGGERATES everything. We have only ONE blog, we put a link to only ONE blog on the News website. So her sentance should have read “They insist on publicizing their blog (singular) that (singular) continues (singular, even tho it ends with an s, because it refers to ONE item).” – either she is a liar, an exaggerator, an imbecile, or a delusional lunatic. – take your pick – because she did NOT tell the truth in that sentance. There was no link to multiple blogS, only one. Readers – go check it out – here is the link – go see if  we publicized ONE blog or multiple blogS. Then you will be able to see that there is something seriously wrong with Joan.  



face it Joan – you need to change your address to 400 Forest Ave. – Buffalo Psychiatric Center

Nicole Urdang’s amazon.com review of Joan Wheeler’s trash book Forbidden Family, and Ruth Pace’s rebuttal (re-post) May 15, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In recent posts, we indicated that a Buffalo, NY therapist, Nicole S. Urdang, who wrote a review on Amazon.com for Joan’s book removed her review. We were in error. The review is still there, but hidden. But I found it.

Ms. Urdang writes:
This is an incredible book. Two books actually. One a memoir and one a call to arms for all adoptees.

Joan chronicles her own deeply moving experience and uses that as a springboard to examine wider issues affecting all adoptees and their parents.

An essential addition to your library if you are involved with adoption either personally or professionally.

 I left this comment:

Ruth Pace says:

This book has been pulled from publication due to an incredible amount of slander and libel, and the author’s use of a family photo on the back cover, that she has NO copyrights to. She never bothered to obtain written permission from those whose likeness she is trying to make money off.
The book is of no help to anyone who has any adoption anxiety concerns, except that it is a chronicle of a woman losing her mind. the author details her alcoholism, anti-social behavior, rages, descent into depression. maybe it could help propel someone into therapy, but the author herself, despite admitting to being in therapy for years, has never learned any life lessons, continuing to blame all her woes on everybody else.

 Now, going back to Ms. Urdang’s review – she says that this book is a “call to arms for all adoptees.” Why? Because Joan herself is mentally ill? Because Joan herself cannot accept reality? The reality being that in 1956 when my mother died, things were NOT as they are today – there were no daycare centers – my father had to go to work – he had no siblings – his parents were elderly and could not provide care for an infant – my mother’s siblings all had large families themselves, MY FATHER HAD NO CHOICE – HE WAS NOT COERCED INTO GIVING JOAN TO ADOPTION! Would Joan have wanted to lie in a crib unattended all day while my father was at his job? Or should he have stayed home and earned no money, and therefore we would all ended up in the streets. There was no welfare system as we have today.

 These are the facts of Joan’s early life – it is her REFUSAL to accept them is what is causing her the great pain and frustration of her adoption.

 In her book she twists the facts around – my mother’s sister did indeed know who adopted Joan and where she was living. She did NOT tell us about her. But when we became adults, we did ask her, and she only told us the name: Joan Wheeler. When I was 20 years old, I placed phone calls to Wheelers listed in the phone book. When I got to Edward, a young woman answered, and when I heard her speak, she sounded exactly like my other sister. I was not drunk when I made this call, as Joan writes in her book.

 Two years later, 1974, we called her and were reunited with her. But by 1981, Joan began interfering with our lives, calling child abuse on one sister, stealing bead trim off the wedding dress of another sister, (and the dress was originally my mother’s)  lying, manipulating people to create strife and tension and fighting between family members. By 1990, she stole hundreds of dollars from me, in 1993, she filed false police reports on me, in 1994-95, she called my employer repeatedly to get me fired, she wrote letters to elected officials giving out personal details of my life, in 1999, she sent me a letter telling me my husband got the next-door neighbor pregnant, and much, much more.

 These actions, that caused me and my family much pain and grief did cause us to turn our backs on her. Would you want to associate with someone who files false police reports on you and calls your job to get you fired?

Perhaps Joan does have a beef against the adoption system because she feels that her adoptive parents “lied” to her. THAT IS NOT MY CONCERN! Just because they lied to her, does NOT give her the right to do all those things to us, her biological kin. Obviously the people who adopted and raised her did not instill a proper value system in her. Again,THAT IS NOT MY CONCERN, as long as Joan’s value system does not cause me and mine any harm. The problem is, it has. Big time.

 Because of Joan Wheeler’s actions she was banished from our family. She will not accept this. She will not accept the consequences of her own actions. She cannot get it through her head that because of the many times she has HURT us, we don’t want her around us. It is her refusal to get these things through her head that is causing her pain. And at this point, I don’t give a damn as to whatever “trauma” she has gone through in her life. I am dealing with the trauma that Joan has caused ME.  And to see this lie-filled book, to open this book, to read on these pages, LIES about myself, is HURTFUL.

 A call to arms? Why? So these “damaged” individuals can turn around and do damage to other people? NO WAY!

 So now this lying book has been pulled off the market, good riddance I say.

 And I add this small comment to Ms. Urdang, indeed to EVERYbody who knows Joan Wheeler, whether personally in Buffalo, or on the internet: TELL HER TO STAY AWAY FROM ME AND MY FAMILY AND STOP WRITING LIES ABOUT US.

 Joan got slapped down and slapped down real hard with the pulling of her precious book from publication. And that’s the consequences of her actions. That’s life Joan, DEAL WITH IT. TAKE YOUR PSYCHOSES AWAY FROM US AND LEAVE US ALONE!

My letter (Jan 18, 2011) to Nicole S. Urdang, therapist, who thought the trash book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler was a good book, but then pulled her review of it off amazon dot com. May 15, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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note – May 15, 2016 – Joan Wheeler has moved her blog at least 3 times since my writing this letter and this blog post. Her newest version of her blog does not have her blog post, “angry adoptee rant” – archives of December 2009: https://forbiddenfamily.com/2009/12/page/2/ — because Joan Wheeler is a sneak, a liar, and a backtracker. When her lies are uncovered, she hastily removes traces of her lies. With no apologies or explanations.

June 15, 2011, 6:00 am

to the members of redandwhitekop,who found this blog: welcome. I tried to register at your forum, but can’t get my Outlook Express to work.  (gulleysucker – you are too funny! love ya!)

Oh yes, I have a very low opinion of Nicole S. Urdang as this blog post will attest. She not only wrote a stupid review on amazon on my sister’s self-published book of hate and rage against me and others, she even reviewed graham crackers!  – so her nickname for her looooooong poetry is chocolatepsych? – I will admit to dabbling a bit in some New Age problem solutions, but geez, ya gotta keep it in perspective! And anyone who reviews crackers and calls themselves chocolatepsych just doesn’t seem qualified to me. She says Fridays are reserved for emergencys. mmmm. by all means – have your chum ring her up about his broken toilet seat – but make sure it’s on Friday – a broken toilet seat can be serious. 

My other sisters and I call her a “ditz” – check out her website and see what I mean! I just want to put her picture up on a dartboard! roflmao! I just can’t see getting therapy from a ditz like this. I don’t think I could keep a straight face!

But seriously – I don’t want to be labeled as an “enemy” of the ditz – just someone who strongly opposses her and her support of my wacko sister. – Because the ditz is as wacky as my sister. Talk about the blind leading the blind! — Ruth

This is a letter I sent to Nicole S. Urdang, a Buffalo, NY therapist, who posted a review of the trash book Forbbiden Family, on amazon dot com. In it she says this book was good. I question this woman’s ability to be a therapist, because obviously she can’t see the book is from a deranged mind. Also, I wonder just what her relationship to Joan is – if she is Joan’s therapist – then she stepped over the bounds of professionalism. If she is not, and merely a friend, she needs to be a better friend to Joan and urge her to get on some psych meds. Please DEEPLY READ this letter, examine it – see if there is any reference to Joan Wheeler being an asshole – because I NEVER wrote to any professional person or agency and called Joan an asshole. And neither have my sisters.

Ms. Urdang never had the courage to respond to this letter, which I mailed via the US Postal Service. Gert also contacted her via email. Ms. Urdang never responded to Gert either.  Says a lot about her character – AND – she removed her review of the Trash Book from amazon dot com. mmmm, makes one wonder.

January 18, 2011

 Nicole S. Urdang

 Buffalo, New York 142

 My name is Ruth Sippel Pace. I am the birth sister of Joan Wheeler, author of the book Forbidden Family, of which you wrote a review of and placed on Amazon.com.  I cannot believe any person of your occupation could think a book like that is anything but garbage.

 I don’t know how you are acquainted with Joan Wheeler, and I really don’t care. Whether you are involved with her on a personal note or a professional note, you need to be aware of Joan’s actions towards her entire family. Her behavior is psychotic, anti-social and borders on criminal, indeed, she HAS crossed the line and HAS committed criminal acts. They are not enough for law enforcement to act on, but as we have seen time after time, these people keep on with their sick behaviors until we have an incident comparable to what happened in Tucson, Arizona on January 8, 2011. In 1998, Joan Wheeler was asking around for a “hitman” to “take her (me) out.” Because of this death threat, I took her to Family Court and was granted a one-year order of protection against her. Now Joan has hooked up with someone, and I am concerned. Joan also has posted on her website hate statements against me and my sisters. These statements are also indicative of coming from a psychotic mind and are a cause of concern.

 Joan in the past has tried to ruin my life. Due to an innocent typing mistake, her hospital bill got mixed up with another patient’s bill in 1994. Joan immediately accused me of hacking into my employer’s computer to tamper with her bill. She sent a complaint to my employer. They investigated it, and told Joan that not only did they trace it to a typing mistake, but that it was impossible for me to do it, as the computers on the nursing station are not connected to the billing computers. Joan wasn’t going to have it. For the next six months, almost every day, she placed calls to the hospital telling everyone that I was a thief, a computer hacker, and should be fired. I work the 11pm – 7am shift, and was never told about this. I found out about it six months later. When I questioned a secretary in the nursing office, I was told that there had been a meeting by hospital administration that they were to hang up when Joan called and not to tell me. Yes, Buffalo General Hospital Administration protected me. Joan then tried to break my husband and me up by sending me a letter telling me that he got the next door neighbor pregnant. And they had a daughter. The only two babies born to women in that house from 1987 (when we moved there) – 2005 (when it was torn down), were boys. And Joan did much much more to me. I did try to take her to court for harassment in 1995, but the judge dismissed it, saying sisters should get along.” Would that that statement could be true. In Joan’s garbage book, she completely turns the story around, saying that it was she who took me to court and describes scenes that could only come from a sick person’s deluded fantasies.

 Your review of her book Forbidden Family is in itself a work of garbage. You are a professional therapist and do not see within the pages of that book a chronicle of a person losing their mind? Did you not even catch contradictions from one page to another, indeed even in one sentence?

 Even on her website she is full of contradictory statements and behaviors. For example on this page: http://forbiddenfamily.net/2009/12/10/angry-adoptee-rant1/, she gives out our full names. And later down the page, she says she doesn’t want us to view her website. Her website is supposed to be adoption reform, yet she has the hate statement against us. And does not see that if she puts our names there, we then have the right to see what is written about us.
note – May 15, 2016 – Joan Wheeler has moved her blog at least 3 times since my writing this letter and this blog post. Her newest version of her blog does not have her blog post, “angry adoptee rant” – archives of December 2009: https://forbiddenfamily.com/2009/12/page/2/ — because Joan Wheeler is a sneak, a liar, and a backtracker.

 My sisters and I have started a blog called Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family  https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/    I invite you to read it. It is not pretty. But Joan’s book is not pretty. How can someone write such garbage? And you, a professional, think this book is good? What is your professional opinion of what she says on page 163 about the condition of my mother’s body at the moment of her death? Joan claims that my father related this disgusting scene to her. This is a post I had made on my blog in October 2010:

 Ruth’s note, May 14, 2011 – Here, I had copied and pasted a post from this blog in this letter I sent to Ms. Urdang. To save space, I removed it, but it is the post Ruth Pace’s additional comments of Personal Psychodrama of Joan Wheeler from October 14, 2010.

 Also again and again in the book Joan alleges that I, Ruth Pace have a criminal record, having been arrested and placed on probation. This is slander and libel. I have never been arrested in my life. Joan is alluding to the 1993 event wherein she filed a complaint against me for annoyance phone calls made in June 1993, and she received a six-month order of protection against me, the dates being from August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. In the book she says she signed the complaint in February 1993, and the Order of Protection was for one year, and I was also sentenced to probation. On my blog, I have provided the scanned copies of actual court documents that have Joan signing the complaint on July 19, 1993, and that I was NOT placed on probation. 

 As a professional, before you put your name to recommending a product or a book, you are responsible for doing research to see if that product or book is the “genuine article.” Since you did not ask me for verification of statements that Joan put forth about me in the book, you obviously do not care about the truth. And as you are a “professional” therapist, the truth should be your primary concern.

 On January 11, 2011, my father died and Joan and her new companion were involved in the desecration of my father’s guest book in the funeral home. I invite you to read the following 3 blog posts that have been posted for legal and personal reasons:

 Ruth’s note, May 14, 2011 – Here  I had copied and pasted 3 posts from this blog in this letter I sent to Ms. Urdang.  To save space, I removed it, but they are  the posts: THIS IS A FORMAL NOTICE FOR LEGAL PURPOSES AGAINST JOAN M. WHEELER AND RUSSELL D. THOMAS OF WILSON NY (he made himself public by signing this on a separate page in the guest book; posted January 16, 2011.    Legal Notice to Joan M. Wheeler – Part 2; posted January 17, 2011. and Legal Notice to Joan M. Wheeler Part 3 by Gertrude McQueen, first born of Leonard Sippel; also posted on January 17, 2011. 

 Now, Ms. Urdang, I will give some background information. This story was told to us many times through the years, and was also confirmed in March 2010 by my mother’s last surviving sibling, Richard L. Herr, currently living in Florida.

When my mother was diagnosed with the cancer in January 1956, her brothers had suggested to my father that she be seen by a cancer specialist at Roswell Park. My father hesitated, saying that he wasn’t sure if he could pay for it. The brothers offered to pay. My mother herself, refused the consultation from a specialist. She then died on March 28, 1956. Her brothers, in their grief, blamed my father for her death. However they felt about my father, they never, nor did their children, disrespect me or my siblings. My cousins, descendants of these five men, through the years, have always proved themselves to always have been respectful to my father, always referring to him as Uncle Leonard, and greeting him warmly when seeing him at other funerals, and at family reunions.

 The hate message that was boldly printed in my father’s guest book was this:

“May he rot in hell for all eternity. From the Herrs: Charles, Matthew, Michael, Henry, Richard.”

 These men are all dead, except for Richard, who is in Florida, in fact, he was on the phone with my sister Kathy, being physically in Florida when the forgery of his name was taking place.

 If you, Ms. Urdang, are Joan Wheeler’s professional therapist, first and foremost, you overstepped your professional bounds by writing a personal recommendation of a book written by one of your clients. If you are her professional therapist, you are doing a poor job in counseling her. If you are involved with Joan in a merely personal level, as a friend, then you are doing a poor job as a friend. Because a friend would not let one carry on the way Joan does. A friend, or a professional therapist would try to make Joan understand the simple rule of “cause and effect.” When Joan tells a lie about a person, there can and will be repercussions.

 If there are any further criminal acts committed by Joan, I will hold you partially responsible.

 Respectfully submitted,

 Ruth B. Pace

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