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What’s the REAL reason Joan Wheeler is going back to the boyfriend from New Mexico? January 4, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
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What’s the REAL reason Joan Wheeler is going back to the boyfriend from New Mexico?

She says on twitter it’s because he needs her. And she wants to “save” him by getting him to the proper therapy. Oh yeah, right. Like she knows what the proper therapy is. She’s been in therapy for more than 30 years and it hasn’t worked on her.

She also devoted a whole chapter in her stupid book on another abusive boyfriend – she was terrorized to be with him because he was violent – yet she stayed with him because she was trying to “save him from his drinking problems and get him into the proper therapy.” Sound familiar? That was back in 2007 and she failed with him. AND despite him saying specifically to her that he did not want to be in her book, she put him in it as a revenge. AFTER her attempts to save him failed.

So she’s got another guy to save? BULLSHIT. She’s the one who NEEDS him!

In the early fall of 2012, she was on the internet whining that she needed to find a boarder to “save her house from foreclosure.” She found one. He lasted two weeks. The guy actually contacted me via facebook private message to tell me that she is nuts. (thanks, man, I know that already).

So fast forward to the other day, she tweets that a “friend” of hers, “C.” is facing homelessness, and she took her downtown to apply for HEAP. um, BULLSHIT! If you’re facing homelessness, you don’t need HEAP – HEAP helps pay your HOME’S heating bill. If you’re not going to have a HOME, you ain’t gonna need it.

Last night, while she’s tweeting about the latest chapter in The Joni Soap Opera, she’s asking people to keep “C.” in their prayers.

UM, JOAN – YOU GOT THAT BIG HOUSE TO YOURSELF – WHY DON’T YOU PROVIDE “C.” WITH A HOME???? You’re so smart as to how the system works – big ass social worker that you are – you know what programs she can apply for. And YOU can get help for your mortgage and save your house from being foreclosed.

Listen, people, there is no “C.” – it is Joan herself who is facing homelessness. That’s why she NEEDS the boyfriend. So that his SS check can help pay her mortgage. Just last week, she’s bitching about him being a creep, a drunk, a convicted drunk driver, she spent 5 days in a homeless shelter in Taos, New Mexico while he was in jail over the summer, he’s a stalker, a cyberstalker and cyberbully – he showed violent tendencies while she was with him – and now all of a sudden, she’s wanting to resume their relationship so she can find the proper therapy for him. What she’s trying to do is convince him to come back to Buffalo, move in with her, and use his check to pay her mortgage.

How do I know this? Because she stole hundreds of dollars from me in 1989, and tried to extort $$$ from another sister in 1992. She’s a user and an abuser. This guy would do well to stay the hell away from her. She can’t help him – she’s so messed up in her own head she can’t help even help herself! She’s a manic depressive! She’s never held a job for even ONE DAY as a social worker. She’s a sociopath and a psychopath. She needs to be committed.

*if anyone reading this is wondering how do I dare write about Joan’s personal life – Joan wrote a filthy slanderous book with things in it about MY personal life – and lied about it. As to why I’m writing about this boyfriend, if anyone is thinking how is this my business? – Joan MADE it my business when she brought him to Family Court in July 2013 when I had her in court for harassment charges. She MADE him my business when she brought him to my godmother’s wake and funeral and she MADE him my business when she was tweeting about he isn’t on twitter but I am and I am “cyberstalking” her like he is.

1. gertmcqueen

Gert here! right on Ruth…what this guy NEEDS to do is READ a copy of Joan’s book, I’m sure she’s got a copy there! He needs to read what Joan has said and done to other boyfriends she’s tried to save! Or better yet, this guy ought to read our blogs, for we not only tell the truth we QUOTE Joan’s words. Joan also tried in 2009 to get our father to; paid for her car repairs and publish the book! I just placed a blog post about this stuff YESTERDAY! Our father’s widow told me that when Joan was ‘taking’ her grocery shopping, Joan would put items in the cart that SHE WANTED and NEVER offered to pay for them. She told step-mother, she didn’t have money. Finally, they refused to allow Joan to take them shopping, Ruth is also correct about HEAP, no address, no money! And at this time of the year, unless there is an emergency HEAP’s money is GONE. And who is the male friend of Joan’s that had to fly in cold weather? Is it the same friend who spend weekend ‘relaxing’ with Joan, as she told on twitter? doesn’t she KNOW that you don’t put your private shit on the internet? what if the guy in NM finds out? Oh I forgot, she doesn’t want me near her! sure, right! mark my words… he’ll get in a program and swear that he’ll behave himself and she’ll allow him to visit and help around the house and then before you know it…HE is paying for her and her house…fools!!

Joan Wheeler falsely accuses me of something I didn’t do – YET AGAIN – this time of hacking into somebody’s Twitter account January 15, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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A couple of weeks ago, a woman who follows Joan or is followed by Joan on twitter, had her account hacked. The hacker then sent a spam to Joan Wheeler via a direct Twitter message.

Joan then says on Twitter to this woman, S.Y. – Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily to @slyoung50 Hi! Received a Direct Mess from you about a link; it was spam. I s your accounthacked? IF you get spammed by my sisters, tell me”

I blogged about this on my blog post “Joan Wheeler is starting her lying false accusations again – calling my job to make trouble January 6, 2013” 

So Saturday night and Sunday night, January 12 and 13, I am at work. 12 hour shifts. And on Monday am, January 14, I get my annual health screening, as mandated by New York State – tested for TB exposure, fit tested for respiratory isolation mask, and I get my flu shot, which hurt like the dickens. (I’m a big baby – I hate needles). I come home, feed my house guest stray cat, feed my furbaby Pippin, and go to bed. I wake up in the afternoon with a sore arm and then I find out via email that Joan is on the Huffington Post spreading false accusations about me and Gert again. In March 2011, under one of her numerous aliases, HalfOrphan56, she posted some nasty shit lies about my family – which was against the forum’s rules. And she got kicked off. Within six months, she joined Huff Post again, under another screen name, Forbidden Family. We have had no problem with her for a year and a half over there. She posts her crap about her anti-adoption stuff. Doesn’t interest me – big yawn. BUT Joan has been told via this blog, Gert’s blog, various other internet forums – that we don’t give a dam about her anti-adoption rants – but when she starts talking about us and our family, spreading her stupid lies about us and our family – we will step in.

She never learns. So Gert and her got into an exchange on Huff Post. I will let Gert blog about that. I want to talk about Twitter – because S.Y.’s twitter account was hacked again.

So Monday afternoon, I’m on my first cup of coffee – I am not coherent until I’ve TWO cups of coffee. And I’m reading Gert’s email about the Huff Post. And I’m wondering “what the hell is all this shit again?” Then I see another email from Gert and she says she received a Twitter direct message from S.Y., the lady whose account was hacked into two weeks ago. It contained a link and Gert clicked on it, but couldn’t figure out what it was all about. Gert sent me the link. So I clicked on the link. I get a Twitter sign-on page. I immediately shut it down. Go to my favorites folder, and click on twitter. I get my profile page, as I stay signed on. So – the link was a phishing scam. They wanted me to enter my member name and password.

So I call Gert. And she’s asking me if I have gone to Twitter. No, I just woke up and am on my first cup of coffee. Gert tells me to go and look at Joan’s twitter page because Joan is accusing me of hacking into S.Y.’s account. So we hang up and I go over there – and sure enough – there’s Joan accusing me of using S.Y.’s account to send direct messages to her.

She wrote:

1. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

@slyoung50 Received DM from you, can’t message you as you aren’t following me.Please email me about profile warning: wheejm17@hotmail.com

2. Joan Wheeler‏@forbiddenfamily

@slyoung50 Hi, ruth sippel pace is my n-sister harrassing me. She has no interest in our cause, only stalking me. Others complained, too.

First, I am not bothering anybody – I want to know WHO is complaining about me – I have done nothing wrong. Second – how dare Joan automatically link MY name with this woman’s hacking problem? WHERE IS THE PROOF?

I left several messages on twitter saying that Joan is falsely accusing me of shit again- WITH NO PROOF.  And yeah – THIS time I sent them to various adoption people – because I want them to know what is going on. I hadn’t mass contacted anyone in the past and they dam well know it.

Back in 1994, Joan’s hospital bill got mixed up with another patient with a similar name – and she right away accused me of going into hospital computers and doing it. The hospital investigated the complaint, and told her I was innocent. she refused to accept that and called the hospital almost daily for six months complaining about me. Trying to get me fired!

On November 24, 2012, another letter was sent to the hospital accusing me of computer fraud again. I had a meeting with administration on January 4, 2013 and they told me about it and they said they checked into it and saw that I had done nothing. Like I needed them to tell me what I already know – that I hadn’t done what Joan accused me of doing.

A few weeks ago – a complaint was sent to Twitter about Gert – my, my, my – Joan is just too damn busy for her own good! All these accusations.  – WITHOUT A SHRED OF EVIDENCE TO BACK UP HER ACCUSATIONS.  – But hey – she doesn’t NEED evidence – she’s a smart cookie – she already KNOWS what bad things we have done. And others. And she loves to “report” her stupid false accusations – because she likes to make trouble. In 1999, I received a letter from her telling me that my then-fiance (now husband) got the next door neighbor pregnant. – and the house was vacant! Good trick there you stupid cow!

So when I saw the latest LYING FALSE ACCUSATION of me – I contacted S.Y. – in a private non-twitter email exchange, I told her what was happening. And I assured her that I did not hack into her account. She told me she was going to take care of the problem.

Now – a twitter tutorial for those too stupid to understand:

Twitter Newsfeed: When you follow someone, you get to see tweets from those they follow and those who follow them. They show up on your twitter newsfeed. This is NOT called stalking – that is how twitter works! And surprise! If you see a tweet from someone who has NOT blocked you – you can tweet to them! That also is not called stalking – it is called “communicating on a social media.” If that person doesn’t want you to follow them or tweet to them – they can block you. I routinely get “followers” that I don’t know, not interested in, am disgusted by. I simply block them. I don’t right away go off the deep end and falsely accuse someone of stalking and hacking me. Get a grip people, especially you – you  stupid cow in Tonawanda.

Hacking – my account was hacked a few months ago – someone advised me to change my password and check any recent apps that I used on twitter. So I changed my password, and deleted a recent app (I can’t even remember what it was). Problem solved. Again, I didn’t right away go off the deep end and falsely accuse someone of stalking and hacking me.

Seeing posts from someone who has blocked you: if you block someone and your posts are showing up on the newsfeed of people that are followed/is following you and that person follows/is followed by me, I can see your posts. Again, this how TWITTER works – it’s not RUTH’S doing.

So a very nice lady was victimized twice – once by an unknown hacker – and once by Joan Wheeler – S.Y. got dragged into Joan’s favorite drama – falsely accusing Ruth of doing something she didn’t do.

JOAN WHEELER – YOU OWE THAT LADY AN APOLOGY -AND YOU NEED TO SHUT YOUR F’ING MOUTH ABOUT ME. and I see you’re off your medication again.

Adopted Child Syndrome part 2, does it play a part in the life and behavior of Joan Wheeler? December 11, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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by Ruth Sippel Pace

In a previous post on this blog, Adopted Child Syndrome – a way out for 50 year old brats? March 4, 2010,  I described my issues with and thoughts about this syndrome. please go read it.
On December 10, 2010, I received a comment on this post. I have copied and pasted it here, along with my reply.

1. ktmckinsey – December 10, 2010
I’m an adult adoptee, and I can testify to the fact that infant adoption can leave serious emotional scars. It’s touched my life in ways that I can’t even begin to describe here, and adoption agencies should work to better educate adoptive parents so as to identify potential issues early on.

I guess I just want to point out one thing: most adoptees aren’t trying to excuse the violence committed by other adoptees. Children who are abused are also more likely to commit violent crimes as adults. We can acknowledge this fact without excusing the behavior or assuming that ALL formerly abused children are violent. Why can’t we take this same approach to adopted child syndrome and the potential for violence from adoptees? They are a high risk group, and it doesn’t do anyone any favors to assume otherwise.
2. Ruth – December 11, 2010
kt brings up some very good points. And while I was not saying ALL adoptees as to be exibiting anti-social behavior, I was trying to point out that a good many of them USE their “bad” childhood to justify their bad behaviors.

I personally have been to subjected to a LOT of bad behvior from the hands of Joan Wheeler, who uses her “bad” adoption as an excuse to inflict emotional pain and abuse on members of both her birth and adoptive families. This is unacceptable.

I am a human being too. I have rights too. I do not deserve to have hundreds of dollars stolen from me just because Joan was adopted and knows no boundaries. And when I understandably became angry at the theft, it was JOAN who began sending me harassing letters which started the feud that exists between us to this present day.

Joan has repeatedly done things that normal people just do not do. For instance, in February 1999, I received two letters from her. One, was to inform me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant and thier daughter was born in 1994. I have known personally the two babies born to women at the house from 1987 to 1999 and they were baby boys. Now why would someone send their own sister a letter like that? AND use a friend’s return address – without the friend’s knowledge or consent. The second letter from Joan was yakking about the anniversary of our reunion, and in it was this sentance: “for some reason, you don’t like me.” Why would I like a person who steals from me and lies about my husband. And when I went to the return address of that first letter and showed it to Joan’s friend, Joan’s friend broke off her freindship with her. THEN Joan turns around and blames ME for the destruction of that friendship!

There are many more examples of Joan’s bad behaviors, and her unwillingness to acknowledge that it is HER actions, and HER actions alone that have gotten us to this point. and the final blow was the self-publication of her book in which she lies throughout the book about events that happened between me and her, and events in my life in which she had nothing to do with, and do not belong in a book that is supposed to be about adoption and adoption reform. That is the purpose of this blog – to shed the light on Joan’s deeds and lies.

I am not a psychologist in any way shape or form. I cannot give a definitive diagonose on just what is Joan’s problem. All I can say is that she exhibits symptoms of manic depression, (and I know for a fact that she has been treated for this in the past), she exhibits symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and this Adopted Child Syndrome.

Mental illness? oh yes, you don’t need to have a doctor’s degree to see that Joan is suffering from sort of mental illness. It is NOT normal for someone to steal from someone, and not recognize that it would hurt that person, and when the person is justifiably angry, it is NOT normal for someone to say that the other person does NOT have the right to be angry and hurt and not have the right to verbalize those feelings. Everytime I verbalized my anger, Joan herself got angrier and angrier and then the stalking, yes, stalking occured. It is NOT normal for someone to call another person’s job repeatedly to get them fired. It is NOT normal for a person to forge a letter from their own 10 year old son, the letter addressed to one person, and the envelope addressed to me, baiting me to call her. And when I called her, Joan hung up on me. and Icalled back two more times. And the following week, when my electricity was shut off, I called her for help, as she still owed me the money she stole from me, she hung up again. and again. And then turned around and filed a police report on me claiming that I was harassing her. She was given a sixmonth order of protection against me for this. the ONLY order of protection she EVER obtained against the collective Three Sippel Sisters, or individual sister.
Yet in the book, and all over the internet, this event is reported by Joan to say that I was arrested, placed on probation, the order of protection was for one year, I have a criminal record and she has had obtained MULTIPLE orders of protection against us sisters. ALL of this is false, false, false. These falsehoods are potentially damaging to our personal and professional lives. But does Joan care? No. And this is NOT normal for an adult woman to be doing these things. And I have scanned and posted here on this blog, actual court documents that prove that Joan is a liar – and she blindly blunders on – ignoring FACTS OF LIFE – !!!!

I don’t know what she thinks those actual court documents are – but she just ignores them as pages from a fairy tale! Even when confronted with absolute proof of her lies, with court documents and photographs on this blog, Joan STILL insists that the order of protection was for one year, I was arrested, I was placed on probation. THIS IS NOT NORMAL!

Such a story is typical of what is in the book, where she describes her rants and raves, both private and public, and she doesn’t even realize that she is just showing her own insanity. No sane person acts this way! – addition by Gert McQueen, December 13, 2010, 5pm.

If adoptees don’t want to be lumped into this Adopted Child Syndrome, than I suggest they look to the company they keep. Is it Joan’s fault that she is mentally ill? Of course not! But she needs to be placed on medication and she needs to be undergoing Behavioral Modification Treatment, because not only does she engage in anti-social behviour, but criminal behavior as well. It is not ME or the other two Sippel Sisters who are engaging in criminal behavior, it is Joan. The entire Sippel family has turned their backs on Joan – not just us sisters. Why? Because she does things to them as well. But us sisters, particularly me, are her favorite targets. Why? I don’t know. I just don’t know.

We sisters and many other members of our family have been hurt many times over by Joan. I myself have shed many tears. My heart was taken out and stomped on by Joan in 1987, in 1990, in 1993, 1994, and again and again. I turned the other cheek so many times, I ran out of cheeks. And yet, in 2003, I tried, I really tried to have a relationship with her again, and it took her only 4 months to show her true colors and attack me again. And now the book and her continous going on internet forums and lying about me and my life and my family.

Adopted Child Syndrome? You are not only the company you keep, but the behavior you exhibit. People make mistakes, yes, but normal people correct their mistakes, apologize to the ones they hurt and don’t repeat the bad behavior. What is wrong with Joan? I don’t know, and at this point, I don’t care. I can only protect my life and my heart from being hurt by her again, AND correct all the lies she has spread about me and my family.

I have said it before on this blog – Joan is not only mentally ill, but a bully. A true bully. She attacks me and others, then runs to others for help when we will NOT accept her attacks. She will not stand up and acknowledge her contribution to our anger, and manipulates others to attack us in return. With this blog, we are not only shedding light on the deeds of Joan the Bully, thereby standing up to the bully, but we are correcting the bully’s lies.

1. chayelet – December 11, 2010
Lest readers take my hitherto silence to be a sign that I have capitulated to JW’s demands for my silence-I would like to add my support to what Ruth says here.On 20 Sept 2010 I posted on Chayelet’s Blog a final statement- to clarify this statement, I will quote Ruth, above: ‘I can only protect my life and my heart from being hurt by her again’

My sisters Ruth and Gert have suffered more than I at JW’s hands, and thus have much more to refut than I do. I have addressed directly most of the issues relating to me, and have given Gert and Ruth permission to quote me when appropriate.

The reasons for my silence are:

1. My life is NOT an open book, for public consumption

2. I do not believe in exploiting the people or situations in my life

3. I know from first hand experience that trying to deal with people like JW is futile, and, as I have already dealt with JW’s issues with me, I leave it to her to come to terms with her perceptions of me.

Chayelet’s Blog will stay in situ.

2. gert – December 13, 2010
Thank you ktmckinsey for your comments, they are welcomed. I don’t lump everyone into a particular labeled box, but if the shoe fits…and the shoe fits Joan.

I also thank my sister Ruth and Kathy for their comments and I totally agree with Kathy’s statement… “My life is NOT an open book, for public consumption”

I wish that NONE OF US has to be going through this business, but, the TRUTH OF THE MATTER is that it was Joan herself, who deemed that everyone in her life was to be exploited and exposed in this book of lies. Joan is the ONE who decided that HER LIFE is so important and has been so DAMAGED by adoption that she didn’t and doesn’t give a damn about what has been and is done to two sets of families, by the public publication of the book of lies and inner fabrications of one diseased mind, namely Joan’s.

Joan in her zeal against adoption, took it upon herself to come between my own adoption efforts in adopting my own son! Joan deemed that it was wrong and because I and my husband told her to ‘get lost’ she took revenge and ‘alienated’ my own children against me, called child abuse on me, and then has the self-righteous gall to say that I DID NOT apology to her and her mother for ‘harassing’ them when I exposed Joan to her mother! Then ten years later, during a reconcilation attempt on my part, Joan smiled to my face, said she loved me, and immediately betrayed me again…and…she puts all this in her book…of course…her versions of it all.

And so Kathy’s statement of: “Ruth and Gert have suffered more than I at JW’s hands, and thus have much more to refut than I do” is totally correct.

Both Kathy and I have not lived anywhere near Joan, for decades, and after the repeated attacks upon us by Joan and others that she enlisted to ‘go after us’ we had NO CONTACT with Joan UNTIL SHE PUBLISHED THE BOOK.

Ruth, tried, so many times, to be a sister to Joan, but Joan doesn’t want that. Joan could not, at anytime in her life, be a sister to any of us, including Ruth, because Joan was ALWAYS WRITING THE BOOK. Joan NEVER LIVED A LIFE, she was ALWAYS WRITING ABOUT WHAT SHE THOUGHT WAS HAPPENING TO HER. She is probably writing another book as we speak!

And now that the book is published, and Joan believes that she will make lots of money, and even find a movie being made out of her ‘life story’she can’t believe that we sisters have any rights, and why should we, according to Joan, we have no rights because we have HURT THE POOR CHILD.

That is why we are refuting everything, that is why we have gone public, to tell the truth.

Chapter 21 of Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler – rebutted! November 5, 2010

Posted by Ruth in mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Before I get to Chapter 21, I want to address a remark that Joan made on page 186, where Joan relates that at one of the meetings of a local adoption support group she belonged to the group decided to go on television to publicize their plight. She says that I was “uncomfortable” with her going public with our family history of adoption. This is so bullshit! The timeline is early 1980 – and in early 1980 I accompanied Joan to WGRZ-television studios to do an on-camera interview with reporter Rich Kellman to talk about our reunion! If I was so uncomfortable, why would I then consent to being in a television interview myself?

 Chapter 21, on page 204 is titled “Cancer and Sibling Rivalry.” Joan relates her adoptive father’s battle with cancer and tells of her part in her interference with Gert’s minor children. She then goes into telling her readers of Gert’s anger over this and accuses Gert of harassing her.

 I want to take this chapter bit by bit. And this post is about the first 2 bits – the rest will be discussed in future posts.

The first bit is the title of this chapter – Cancer and Sibling Rivalry.

Ahem. Sibling Rivalry is a term used to describe children who are competing against each other for their position in the nuclear family and affection of their parents. Since we Sippel kids were  grown by 1981, the time discussed in Chapter 21, this term does not apply here. None of us Sippel kids were “rivals” in ANYTHING. We were not competing in anything. There was no jealousy going on – at least not on MY part, or my sisters Gert and Kathy. Joan, on the other hand, is still jealous that WE were not adopted out of our original nuclear family. 

In going over the events discussed in Chapter 21, I see nothing that alludes to Sibling Rivalry. I find the title inappropriate. The events involve Gert’s minor children – Gert is their parent – there is NO room for any rivalry there. As the mother of the children, she is the person who makes the decisions for them – NO ONE ELSE!

 I thought Joan is a social worker and therapist! Did she not learn all this while getting her degree? What kind of a therapist doesn’t understand the basics of sibling rivalry? What kind of social worker doesn’t understand that a parent makes decisions about their children and none other?

The second bit I want to discuss is the cancer – or rather Joan’s adoptive father’s bout with it. Or rather, how Joan discusses it.

On page 207, she describes her father’s first exhibition of symptoms of his brain cancer.  He had not been feeling right for a few weeks. The subject of alcohol keeps coming up here – why? But then he shows the symptoms of a stroke and he is taken to the hospital, with 2 Wheeler cousins in attendance. Tests did not show a stroke, and doctors suspected alcoholism.

When Ed gets home, he regains partial use of his right side and he telephones his siblings with this good news. Then he attends his oldest brother’s funeral, and he had trouble walking and his speech was slurred. His family thought of alcohol – why? Obviously the man has a history of drinking – why does everybody automatically think of alcohol? If my father had exhibited these same symptoms, nobody would automatically think of this because my father rarely drinks.

So at the funeral, Ed’s brothers and sisters thought he was drunk and made fun of him. Joan and her mother are disgusted. Joan “chokes back tears” at the cruel remarks and at the “insensitivity of the family.”

On page 210, Joan relates that now Ed is in the hospital and he “spoke in sentences and phrases that were unintelligible. This angered and frustrated him.” (This is called aphasia, and the anger and frustration is normal). Joan then tells us that she brought him a flower arrangement and without warning, he picked it up and threw it across the room. Joan says “I cried and shouted angrily at him.” Joan and her mother cleaned up the mess and scolded him like a child.

How dare you Joan? How do you dare yell at a patient? You just got done saying he spoke in sentences and phrases that were unintelligible, and he himself is frustrated over his own inappropriate behavior and then you yell at him!

Do you readers see what a contradictory bitch Joan is? On page 208 she berates his family for “making fun” of him, then 2 pages later relates how she herself yelled at him.

I visited Ed in the hospital one time. And witnessed something that must have been a naturally occurring event in the Wheeler household. I was sitting on a chair near the foot of Ed’s bed, on his left side. His wife was sitting across from me, and Joan sat at the foot of the bed. In making conversation, I brought up a news item that I heard on the network news the evening before.

In Florida, an engaged couple were seeking to get married in the Catholic Church. A priest denied to marry them, saying that in the eyes of the Church, the purpose of marriage was to create children, and the man was paralyzed from the waist down, and could not create children. I thought this was terrible. And I brought up this subject. Joan agreed with me, but her mother agreed with the priest. Raising her voice, Dorothy put forth her opinion that if you couldn’t get pregnant, then you shouldn’t be married. I was appalled! Here she was, a woman who couldn’t get pregnant, and she herself was married! But I didn’t say anything, I have too much manners to say that – but not Joan – she raised her voice in disagreement with her mother. And the fight was on! In a hospital room!!! With the patient witnessing it! At this point in time, Ed couldn’t speak. He just looked first at his wife, then his daughter, and a tremendous sad look was in his eyes. I sat there watching the three and felt sadness for Ed, disgust at Joan and her mother, and shame for myself for bringing up the subject.

Earlier in the book, Joan relates how she and her mother are having an argument in the family car, and Ed yells at them “do you know how the two of you sound?” Apparently this has been going on between the two of them, probably as soon as Joan began to talk. I had already related that I left Joan’s daughter’s 4th birthday party because they ruined the party by screeching at each other and I couldn’t stand the noise.

But getting back to the argument in the hospital room, all of a sudden Dorothy did a strange thing – right in the middle of the arguing, she changed the entire thrust of her argument. At first she was in agreement with the priest, then all of a sudden, she was against the priest. She said at first that if the couple couldn’t have children, then they shouldn’t be married. Now, she was saying that if the two people loved each other, what was the priest’s problem? People should marry whom they want!

I sat there stunned. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! Joan continued with her original stance – against the priest –and then said “that’s what I’m saying Mom, the priest has no business saying they can’t get married.”

Then Dorothy did another astounding thing – she attacked Joan – “That’s not what you said – you said the priest was right.” Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor! If I hadn’t witnessed this myself, I would not have believed that a human being could be capable of such turnabouts in an argument, then yelling at another person and calling them a liar to their face, when in reality it was Dorothy who was the liar.

It was really like the classic Bugs Bunny/Daffy Duck cartoon:

Bugs: Yes    Daffy: No

Bugs: Yes    Daffy: No

Bugs: Yes    Daffy: No

Bugs: No      Daffy: Yes

Bugs: No      Daffy: Yes

Except that Joan didn’t switch sides! Dorothy was the one who switched sides and I was in such disbelief and disgust that I believe that was the last time I ever spoke to Dorothy. Up to then, I had respect for her – now I was in contempt of her.

 In the car going home with Joan, I brought the subject up. Joan said, “Yes, that is how she is. Growing up, there were many times I was so confused. She had me going in so many circles, I didn’t know what to think, what to say. I was always in trouble.”

I was angry. This is how that woman raised and treated my younger sister? And we see just how and why Joan is the way she is. But that’s still no excuse. She’s been in therapy since the late 70’s. And she is self-aware enough to know that she didn’t like that kind of contradictory lies that confused her, so why does she do it to other people?

We have already pointed out in this blog how Dorothy and Joan have a love/hate relationship. It’s a relationship of hurting each other to show love. And each one seems to want to win the Big Argument. Each one is a control freak. Each one is determined to make the other one change their basic way of thinking, their god-given right of self-determination, which is to say, have their own opinion of a subject. The Big Argument between these two masochistic women is the Argument of Adoption. Dorothy of course sees nothing wrong in it. That is her opinion. That is her dam right to have her feelings on the subject. Joan, as we know, thinks adoption is wrong. That is also her opinion, her dam right to have her feelings on the subject. But do each of these women RESPECT  each other’s stance? Does Joan RESPECT Dorothy’s opinion on adoption? NO! In the book, and on the internet, she relates how she keeps badgering Dorothy to change her mind! Even as recent as this year, 2010, where Dorothy is NINETY-FIVE YEARS OLD!

For God’s sake, Joan leave her alone! She has the dam right to feel the way she wants! If you don’t like it – then SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT IT! But no, Joan is out to punish Dorothy – for the fucking sin of adopting her and giving her a roof over her head. Granted, this arguing, this contradictory behavior, the calling Joan a liar to her face was wrong, wrong, wrong. Then get the hell away from that toxic person. No, Joan couldn’t do that – because Mama Wheeler was paying all Joan’s bills her entire life. Joan has never been Woman enough to stand on her own two feet – get a dam job and support herself and her 2 kids. No, the stupid bitch even moved back to Mommy’s house after her marriage failed, and the arguments continued, in front of Joan’s kids. What a life those poor kids must have had.

But as much as I have some grain of sympathy for Joan for being subjected to that lying mother of hers, I have no sympathy of Joan’s life as she has chosen to live it. Because of the rotten things she has done to me – my feelings of familial love has withered.

Gert – November 5, 2010

Ruths states:
In the book, and on the internet, she relates how she keeps badgering Dorothy to change her mind! Even as recent as this year, 2010, where Dorothy is NINETY-FIVE YEARS OLD!

The reason Joan badgers her 95 year old mother is because Joan is an ELDER ABUSER.

Joan has in the past attempted many times to do the same to our father and that is the REASON why he has continued to push Joan out of his home, as recently as 2007 or 08, and has told her that they can not be in each other’s presence. My father DOES NOT allow himself to be abused, now at 85 or never!

This is something Joan has never learned, that other people do not live with the constant arguing and yelling and drama and abuse.

The parents are not the only elders that Joan has abused…we have hard evidence and it will be posted on this blog in due time.

So I am naming it as I have seen it, in print, in Joan’s own words and in her own book…Joan is an elder abuser.

2. RuthNovember 5, 2010
elder abuser is correct.
Even in her book she writes that during an argument in the car she yells “Fuck you” to her mother, gives her the finger, then jabs the finger in her mother’s face.

FINAL NOTICE TO JOAN WHEELER AND ALL ADOPTEES AND ADOPTION REFORMERS BY KATHERINE INGLIS September 19, 2010

Posted by chayelet in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Statements from The Three Sippel Sisters, Uncategorized.
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I REFUSE TO BE MANIPULATED INTO TAKING THE BAIT OFFERED BY MS WHEELER. LET HER OWN STATEMENTS BE HER TESTIMONY-NOT MINE.

Joan Wheeler: shut your lying mouth or PROVE what you say! August 29, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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warning: adult content in this post. proceed at YOUR consent. If you don’t like what you see here, you have been warned. Another filthy lie was told about me and my family. No one EVER put their hands on Joan Wheeler, EVER. Only my father, he took her by the shoulder and shoved her out his apartment door. But she says we, her natural family have physically attacked her. Joan, you will burn in hell.

by the way, we’re having a field day with this one over at my facebook page! roflmao! 

ok, I’m pissed.

at an adoption place, Joan Wheeler said on August 25, 2010, the following LIE:

“I’ve been attacked physically and mentally by both adoptive family and natural family for over 3 decades.”

Oh really? WHEN Joan, WHEN did anyone in our family lay hands on you? You f;ing liar. How dare you lie about your family like this?

Tell us, Joan, WHO put their hands on you? WHEN did this happen? Oh, was it when our father took you by the shoulders and shoved you out of his house because you were screaming obscenities at him and he asked you to stop and leave? That is hardly  being physically attacked for over 3 decades!

You want obscenities? You got them – you lying bitch.

3 decades takes us back to 1980 – nope, NOBODY put their hands on you during that time frame – you and I were close – why don’t you talk about that? Do you remember in 1980 we went to see the movie The Awakening together? Being at my house on Amherst St. when you were going with Rich, the Jewish boy? And you were worried that my Arab husband would have a problem? (why must you see and MAKE problems all the time? Abdo could care less what religion or political leanings YOUR boyfriend was/had).

So the past couple of months, I’ve been sick, trying to do this blog – but – BUT no real emotions towards you – just living my life WITHOUT you – then you put this shit on the internet – that your natural family physically abused you for 30 years. And why wasn’t this in your book? BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENED. DO YOU PEOPLE SEE HOW JOAN WHEELER MAKES THINGS UP AS SHE GOES ALONG? IF I, OR ANY OTHER FAMILY MEMBER HAD STRUCK HER, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN IN THAT PIECE OF TRASH BOOK SHE WROTE!!!

So, tell us, what did you do when you were hit?  Did you fight back? call 911 and press charges?

bah, you lying filthy pig.

now go and whine to your adoption buddies how I just called you obscenities because you were adopted – no, I called you obscenities  because you, once again, LIED ABOUT MY FAMILY!!

Joan, for the love of god, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Comments»

1. RuthAugust 29, 2010 [Edit]

I almost fell off the chair last night when I read that shit. Ain’t NOBODY laid a hand on this bitch, as much as we wanted to. She’s asking for a set of dentures. Let her say that shit to my face. She won’t tho, the lying coward. But then go whining to her adoption buddies that she’s afraid of me.

Be afraid Joan, be very afraid. But not of me – you aren’t worth me going to jail over – you are showing the entire world via the internet what a lying snake you are.

How is this helping your adoption reform work? You are showing all those INTELLIGENT people in that field that you are exactly what you are: a lying bitch.

Your “supporters” are only those with whacked minds like you – sick idiots who promote hate and disrespect towards ANYbody who had a hand in their adoption.
Because THEIR life got fucked up by adoption – they (and Joan) think it’s okay to act like assholes and spew hate at people who had nothing to do with it.

I was 3 years old when Joan got adopted – I had nothing to do with it – but her book is Brenda this, Brenda that (me) and it is all a bunch of lies.

THIS is why Joan is not in my personal photo album – because she’s a lying bitch.

THIS is why Joan got tossed out of the family after the reunion – because she’s a lying bitch.
NOT because of her political and social issues and her work in the adoption reform movement – but because she’s a lying bitch!

2. gert – August 30, 2010 [Edit]

Ruth is correct….no one in the birth family ever laid hands on Joan nor did they mentally attack her! Can’t say the same for the adoptive family.

Joan statement: “I’ve been attacked physically and mentally by both adoptive family and natural family for over 3 decades.” is a total fabrication of Joan’s diseased mind.

Why does Joan have this NEED to continue to convince herself and others that she has been victimized? Joan wrote a damn book telling all about it, shouldn’t that be enough? Not for Joan! She is totally in love with her version of her sick life and she has to tell the world over and over again about how horrible her life has been…in her mind that is!

We here on this blog are in the process of telling the truth…stay tuned…in takes time…Joan has written over 600 pages…I’ve written about 370 of those 600 pages and it takes time to get all that shit on this blog…Joan is nothing but a liar and a professional victim…

It’s too bad that Joan’s friends don’t tell her to get herself some help and get a f…ing life…

Keep reading this blog to hear and see hard evidence of Joan’s abuse to the birth family…stuff that she DID NOT put in the book.

Reply
3. chayeletAugust 30, 2010 [Edit]

I didn’t think it was possible to physically attack anyone from 3000 miles away, and since I have not set foot in the USA since I left on 11 March 1973 I’d like to know how it’s possible for me to have attacked Ms Wheeler, if that is what she is alleging.She certainly doesn’t claim physical abuse from me during her 2 visits to UK in her book. As for mental abuse-perception is in the mind of the beholder. If she chooses to misinterpret and misunderstand something I was supposed to have said, that is her choice. So be it. The burden of proof is hers.

Reply
4. chayeletAugust 30, 2010 [Edit]

Given the current evidence, I think it is a safe bet that JMW/DMS is now, and has always been, living in The Twilight Zone, otherwise known as Cloud Cuckoo Land. Please do not issue me with a passport to this wondrous place-I prefer the Real World thank you very much.Kathy

Reply
5. RuthAugust 30, 2010 [Edit]

I think we can call it “The Joan Wheeler Zone” where Fantasy reigns and Reality is an illusion.

Nothing that Joan says makes any sense.

I am continuously amazed at what garbage comes out of her mouth, and then I am doubly amazed that some people actually BELIEVE it. Especially if they had any brains, they would put two and two together and see the huge holes in Joan’s stories.

I mean – how is it possible for a an ADULT woman to be physically attacked for over 3 decades with no one finding out about it? This, is the first time that she has spoken about this – August 2010!
This information isn’t even in her book!

This is an outspoken woman, who claims to be a follower and advocate of Women’s Rights. WTF?

Come on people! Are you for real? Is Joan for real?

Mark- August 25, 2010 -six weeks from now – October 6. There will be something new coming from The Joan Wheeler Twilight Zone!

Would somebody get this broad some fucking medications????

Accusations of Cyber- bullying May 20, 2010

Posted by chayelet in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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It has come to my attention that JW has re-posted, and updated, a post she did some time ago accusing her birth sisters of cyber-stalking her.As if she was worth our time and energy. To be honest, I couldn’t care less what she or her friends think-we sisters are here answering her book, and ONLY answering her book. I comment only rarely.

I have no intention of allowing JW off the hook over the lies in her book, neither  have I any intention of taking her bait- MY life has been regurgitated once too often, I am sick of hearing about JW’s adoption and her complaints of same-if she wants to think I am harassing her, let her- I couldn’t care less. As for multiple orders of protection against me- that’s news to me- SHOW ME THE PROOF! I live in a different country, where USA legislation has no jurisdiction-if JW and her friends want to delude themselves that the Good Ol’ USA has power over the UK – let them. No US cop, judge, or court has any jurisdiction over me.

If declaring, as I do in Chayelet’s blog, that I consider JW to be Persona Non Grata, and that I no longer want to be associated with her, is Cyber-stalking her, then I’m guilty as charged. However, I can only say that by re-posting this silly nonsense, JW has shown herself to be the Cyber-bully.

QUITE FRANKLY,WHO THE HELL CARES ANYMORE- I BLOODY DON’T!

Guest Post From Gert McQueen, birth sister of Joan Wheeler March 4, 2010 March 27, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
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My oldest sister Gert, who has no computer,  (got that?) recently went to a public library and emailed this statement and asked me to post it here. — Ruth

From the eldest Sippel sister Gert, in respond to Joan’s book of fiction.

Having finally gotten my hands on this book of revelations! Do not relatives of Joan have the right to have their own emotions related to what she writes about them or their life or are we suppose to just allow someone to continue to lie and misrepresent us. If people have individual web sites, where they speak their own minds, like Joan, why is it that Joan’s family members are not allowed to have the same rights as she does and speak their mind. I am speaking my own mind, I have that right just as she does. No one can silent another, that went out with the Inquistion. I use techniques of Constructive Criticism and Higher Criticism when I read and comment on any book. I learned that from my years of research and writing and it is used routinely in the scholarly world.

On page 645 of Joan’s book she says she has worked in the field of social work. Would she please let her readers know when and where she worked? I’m really curious where she worked and gained her experience and you should too if the work she presents is to be believed. I took training at a Domestic HotLine center for a month and attended a couple of group sessions where my stories helped other people, does that give me creditials to say that I worked in those fields, even though I don’t hold any degrees. I also held a job for three months helping abused children, does that give me creditials to say I’m a social worker and have great experience working with abused children.

On the title pages of the book, she writes ‘some very traumatic events have been omitted’ as if to say hey there is much more that I can and will write about. Really folks all that statement says is there’s a ‘hint’ that the content of her book is going to be so sensational you must read it. It’s a come-on statement aimed at getting attention.

She says what she writes is from memory ‘without embellishment’. Really now! Who doesn’t tell a fish story when retelling from memory! If it isn’t embellished it certainly is highly subjective in nature and anyone who knows anything about ‘non-fiction’ knows that it better be object in nature if it is to be believed to be a true representation of the topic. This book should be listed as fiction.

In her acknowledgements she sure likes to drop a lot of names, as if that makes her important. It’s another publishing gimmick people, just like the foreward by a named Doctor. He calls the book a ‘reunion in progress’, but from whose point of view, totally from the adoptee, not the families! That’s biased people! You can’t have a work of non-fiction without being objective and unbiased.

She says in ‘why she wrote the book’, it was ‘to tell the truth from my point of view’ again that is totally subjective in nature and can not be considered non-fiction. Anyone’s point of view by nature is subjective and therefore does not meet the standard of truth. She ‘invites’ others, namely her family members to do ‘the hard work’ of telling their truth by writing a book. Wrong thinking. Writing a book is not the only way to tell the truth. Speaking for myself, I am doing the hard work by living my life and I don’t have any inner need to exploit the rest of my family by writing a book of fiction to play with myself.

Even on her facts she doesn’t get it right. My father went to night school to get a degree in engineering. He was a city engineer for about 30 years. He was not poor, he probably was part of that class called the ‘working poor’ like many people, including myself, have been in at one time or another. He was never out of work, like Joan is. He never cried poverty like Joan portrays him as.

There will be more from me as my life allows me the time to look at this book of subjectively fiction

Nature vs. Nurture revisited; a mother/daughter dynamic witnessed by Ruth Sippel Pace March 21, 2010

Posted by Ruth in mental illness, Uncategorized.
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My sister Gert McQueen says in her post “Nature vs. Nurture”: “She (Joan) shows a very intense love/hate relationship with the adoptive mother, in my opinion one that borders on a form of non-sexual sadomasochism because it appears as if they both get some kind of pleasure from inflicting and from enduring pain and cruelty.”
    I not only witnessed first hand a couple of exchanges between Joan and her amom, but the one was indicative of narcississtic personality disorder, in which CONTRADICTIONS OF IDEAS is present, often in the same conversation, even in the same sentance.
    In 1982, I drove Joan to Roswell Park Cancer Institute to visit her adoptive dad, who was suffering from terminal brain cancer. I had met this guy before, he seemed nice. (Joan says me and my sisters were disrespectful to him, that is so BS). Anyway, picture if you will, a man laying in the hospital bed. Three chairs assembled at the foot of the bed, I was on his left side, his wife on his right side, Joan at the direct end of the bed. EW was not able to speak, but he was aware of everything that was going on.

    To make conversation, I brought up something that was on the news. It involved a Florida couple, he was paralyzed in a car accident, and was engaged to be married. The Catholic priest of the girl’s parish refused to marry them because the purpose of marriage in the Catholic Church was to procreate. Since the man could not procreate, he could not marry anyone. Well, Joan agreed with me, and her mother disagreed. Instead of having an intelligent debate, these two women started bickering at each other. Dorothy/Doloris (so contradictory, she uses two names, she was introduced to us as Dorothy, that’s all we knew her by, but then years later, we were told by Joan that we were wrong, her name is Doloris.   In the public records in Erie County Hall, she is known as Dorothy Wheeler, aka Doloris Wheeler).  Anyway, DorDol was raising her voice saying that if a couple couldn’t have children, they couldn’t be married in the Catholic Church. I was amazed. Here she and her husband couldn’t have children, and were married in the Catholic Church, so what the heck? Joan was raising her voice arguing that that was an old-fashioned judgement call. I wanted to sink thru the floor. “why did you bring this up?” I said to myself. I then looked at the dying man in the bed, (don’t forget we were in a hospital at the bedside of a dying man), and he was looking sadly at his wife, then to his daughter. I felt so bad for him. Then all of a sudden, Dor/Dol changed her arguement, saying, “the priest should mind his own business. Who does he think he is saying he is not going to marry two people who love each other.” I did a double take!

    This was like the classic Bugs Bunny/Daffy Duck arguing routine, Bugs saying “no,” Daffy saying “yes.” Yes, no; yes, no; yes, no; yes, YES.” Bugs changed his word no to yes in the middle of the argument, and then Daffy, to spite Bugs, changed HIS word to no. Then Daffy stops and realizes what just happened. And Bugs is there smirking.
      I don’t remember how the arguement ended, but I do remember saying to Joan in the car later, what I saw and heard her mother do. “Oh yes, that is how she does. I have grown up with her doing that. Sometimes I didn’t know which way to go or what to say when I was growing up.”
     Another instance I witnessed was at the 4th birthday party of Joan’s daughter. My husband and I were there at Joan’s house, along with my stepmother. I’m not sure who my stepmother was with, since she doesn’t drive. It may have been one of her daughters. This was in 1990, and my husband was still getting to know my family (we’d only been together for a couple of years). He was in the kitchen talkiing with my stepmother who was from France. My husband visited Paris when he was in the Navy and he and my stepmother were talking about the Follies Begere. Joan walked in the kitchen and interrupted a conversation that she wasn’t even involved in, and started yakking about how sexist the Follies were. I was sitting in a chair in the dining room and witnessed the whole thing. Both my husband and stepmother just stopped talking, because Joan ruined the conversation. Both of them rolled their eyes. Joan then left the room and walked past me and went into the living room where her amother was. I don’t know what started it, but the next minute, they were screeching at each other. Those two harpies ruined a four-year old’s birthday party. Everybody who was there were rolling their eyes, as if to say “there they go again.”

    Joan stomped into the dining room, her amom followed her. They were standing in front of me, yelling at the top of their lungs. And very screechy! My ears started to hurt. I went into the kitchen and got my husband. In front of my stepmother, I said, “can we go? I can’t stand this noise.” So we left. I never went to Joan’s house again. She would yell at her kids like that too! Screeching!

    Joan had been spoiled while she was growing up. Her mother hand sewed mother/daughter matching outfits, but then, according to Joan, (on Page 319) that when they got Joan home from Family Court, she was covered in body sores, because Joan’s godparents (who had taken her in while my mother was dying), did not take good hygienic care of her. (more on this later). “You had sores all over your body when we got you.” Joan says on page 319 that her mother yelled at her and made her feel guilty, yet fawned on her. In the late 70’s Joan got her first apartment on Bradley Street, just about a mile where I was living with my first husband. I was with her one day when her mother brought over 2 full grocery bags. Meat, fresh produce, bread, canned goods. But then Joan relates (and I witnessed this, as I wa s a bridesmaid), Dor/Dol refused to be part of Joan’s wedding party. Would not sit in the front of the church, but  sat at the back. (I still have the video of the wedding). Joan also relates in the book, that Dor/Dol refused to accept Joan’s decision to retain her maiden name after she got married and would sent her letters addressed to Mrs. Joan Bell, and other variations of her name. Yet she continued to pay this grown and now married woman’s bills!
    In 1986, The Monkees, a 60’s pop-rock group went on a tour. The closest they came to Buffalo was in Chataugua, New York, south of Buffalo. Joan and her husband were planning on going and asked me if I wanted to go too. I really wanted to, but had no money. But Joan and Colby owed me for some long distance calls Joan had put on my phone, so they bought my ticket. We went and it was fun! This was July. In September, 1986, Buffalo was added to the tour. Joan called me up. Did I want to see them again? Well, sure, but I had other financial obligations, and declined. Joan called me a few days later. She had a dream about Monkees lead singer Mickey Dolenz. She just HAD to go to the concert now. I said “Have fun.”
    Two weeks later, Joan calls me crying. Her electricity was getting shut off for non-payment. Let’s see, we have this grown woman, married, she has one child, is 9 months pregnant with her second child, and her electric bill is getting cut off. folk, it doesn’t take a mere two weeks to get the electric company to make that decision! It takes about 3-4 months of not paying for them to send out a shut-off notice! So instead of being a RESPONSIBLE ADULT AND PAYING HER UTILITY BILLS, WHEN SHE HAS A TODDLER AND ANOTHER BABY ON THE WAY, she goes to TWO concerts! I don’t remember what I told her. But a few days later, Joan calls me up: her mother paid the electric bill.
    A few years later, my cousin Gail called me. Her mother had been friends with a sister of the man who adopted Joan, and Gail knew this woman’s daughters. Well, Dor/Dol had been whining to the Wheeler family that Joan was ungrateful, always taking her money, not paying her back, yadda yadda yadda. Gail felt sorry for her. I told her “Well I don’t.” I told Gail about the bags of grocery, the electric bill, and other instances I know of. I said,”All Dor/Dol has to do is stop giving Joan money and tell her to grow the f up and get a job  and pay her dam bills like everybody else on this planet. If she she keeps giving her money, that’s her problem, and she should stop whining about it. Only a fool continues to give another person money when they haven’t gotten paid back from previous “loans.” Gail agreed.
    In 1988, Joan wanted to buy a computer to write her book. She didn’t have the money. Yep, you guessed it, her mother gave  her the money. BUT after the whole summer, holding the money over Joan like a carrot on a stick. She would say she’d have the money from the bank by a certain day, then say, she didn’t go to the bank. She would tell Joan she giving her $4000.00 that’s right FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS, then it was only 4 hundred. Sick game playing. I told Joan “this woman is toxic. You need to make your mind up. Either you accept her money, on her terms, and live with her sick playing, or tell her once and for all to go to hell.” (that’s what I would do, I don’t let ANYBODY treat me like that! But as we see, these two women are locked together in a sick game of love and hate, give and take, arguing and then talking like nothing happened. SICK! The both of  them.

Here’s a real sweet example of how sick they are. On pages 554-55  Joan plays the martyr for VOLUNTEERING to take my 85 year father to his doctor appointments. She snidely says our younger has a motorcycle, and the sister who lives in the same city (me) has a paying job, but a car with high repair costs. Again we see how Joan takes a little bit of info and weaves her own spin of a story on it. I did not have a car for years. I inherited a van when my mother-in-law died. The van was in perfect condition. On December 30, 2004 a distracted driver made a right turn on red in front of me and I couldn’t stop in time. The damage was over $2000.00. The insurance company wanted to total it, my husband and I said no, tow it our house and we will fix it later. At the same time, our house was being foreclosed for back taxes. My husband had open heart surgery in September 2003, and was out of work for a while and we fell behind. I had asked Joan for help via a letter, reminding her of her theft of money from me, instead of sending me even ten bucks, she tried to haul me into court for “harassment!” The court dismissed it, because they could see I was pleading for help. John and I used the car insurance settlement money to pay the back taxes on our house and the gas bills for that winter season. It took us another 2 years to scrimp and save to get the repair money for the van, and it was fixed in November 2006. Hasn’t given us any problems, except the usual – we need new brakes next month. To do the scrimping and saving, I was putting in overtime at work. My husband, post-open heart surgery, could not do any more heavy lifting, he did try it, and got a hernia. In July 09, he had another surgery. His job pays just over minimum wage. As I am the major bread-winner in my household, I am still putting in the extra/overtime. So what? that’s MY business, not Joan’s. I live almost 9 miles from my father. Joan lives less than 4. She doesn’t work. I do. AND SHE VOLUNTEERED to drive my father for his doctor and errands. A volunteer does it because they care, not because they expect to get something back. You do get something back, the feeling of goodness in your heart that YOU HELPED SOMEONE.

   Another thing: Joan ASSUMES she knows anything about my van. ASSUMPTIONS DO NOT BELONG IN A BOOK OF NON-FICTION. As she knows no facts concerning my van or my life at this period in time, WHY IS SHE MENTIONING IT? And does the fact that I could not drive my father around in 2004 – 2006 because I was taking the bus HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH JOAN’S ADOPTION? NO! Then why is it in her book?  Joan, when you ASSUME, you make an ASS out of U and ME. But mostly yourself. 

So what does this CARING daughter do to my father when her car broke down? Demanded money from him! He told her “your car is your responsibility, not mine.” right on Dad!

Now, in her book, she whines because Dad didn’t help her. (um Joan, remember what YOU did when someone [ME] asked for help? You turned me down flat, and further, tried to take me to court. And puts in her book over and over that she doesn’t know why her birth sisters can’t stand her. JOAN wants everyone to help HER, but when someone asks HER for help, she turns her back on them. Joan never helped me from day one. Then again, I don’t need anybody’s help. I stand on my own two feet, put in the extra time at work and pay for what I need.  And if that didn’t leave me time for college, as Joan uses as a put-down about me, well, Joan, THAT’S MY LIFE, NOT YOURS. I have NEVER complained about not going to college. Why is Joan? Joan says continuously thru her book that people should stop making judgements and comments about HER life. Well it works both ways my dear. Why are you making comments and judgements about MY life? Whether I went to college or not, wanted children or not, HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR ADOPTION, OUR REUNION OR ANYTHING ABOUT YOU AND DOES NOT BELONG IN YOUR BOOK!

On page 554, after my father turned her down for help for her car repairs, Joan relates that she goes back home and tells her amom.  This is what Joan relates that her amom says (or rather yelled):  “We did all the work – your (adoptive) father and I – and paid for the upkeep of his child. Did he ever think of that? He gave you up for adoption because he could not afford to take care of you. We took care of you. Now the tables are turned. In my advanced age, living on a fixed income. I look back and see that he ahd the benefit of a working wife for thirty-some years! I had to quit my job to stay home with you – his child! Those were the rules to adopt – no sense in adopting if a mother would not actually be with the child. Back then, we had enough money with just Daddy’s income, but now, your other father reaps the benefits of retirement from a two-paycheck income while I watch my Social Security dwindle. Daddy’s pension and medical benefits get cut every year. My out-of-pocket are sky-high, yet he wants us to foot the bill for his transportation!”

1. Dorothy, YOU chose to adopt Joan. Nobody forced you.

2. Joan VOULUNTEERED  to transport my father.

3. Both Dorothy and Joan CHOSE to not work when they were younger and in better health, thereby building up their social security/old age pension.

4. As an electrician at Dunlop Tires, EW made a dam good income. Auto workers, steel plants workers, paid very good money. I know a lot of retirees and widows of retirees from both Chevy and Bethlehem steel and they are getting enough. It is called PLANNING FOR YOUR FUTURE.

5. such snidely remarks. Jealousy. reaping the benefits of two-income social security. well, that’s the way of the world people. Oh, Joan can’t get a job. Listen, I have congenital scoliosis. My right leg is slightly shorter than my left and I have curvature of the spine because of it, causing chronic back problems.  I now have athritis in my spine. But I am still at my job. Which entails a lot of heavy lifting. I have allergies. I am exposed to all sorts of germs in the hospital. I am constantly sneezing and hacking and blowing my nose at work. (ask my co-workers).  I already know and have planned for, that I have to work until I am 70 to get my full social security, and my pension from BGH.  John is also working until he is 70. And in the meantime, I am remodeling my house. Me, doing a lot of the manual work. Tearing down walls, up in the crawlspace, cleaning out the dirt, laying down insulation and the plywood sheets. John, post open-heart surgery, nails down the wood. We see what needs to be done, AND DO IT! If we can’t, then we PAY for it. No whining involved.

The two of these whining, self-serving, jealous, judgemental biddies need to be put out of their misery.

Reply
Gert McQueen – March 26, 2010 [Edit]

I find it hard to believe that Joan would print the things she does in that book. How can she say on one hand that Dad was ‘dirt’ poor when he married and had children when he wasn’t and then say that he has more income today, with retirement and SS than she ever will. Can’t have your cake and eat it too.
and for her to repeat a statement from the adoptive mom, worst than tackless, not right, nonrepectful to repeat such coming from a sick woman
these people Joan and the adoptive mom think that our father was dirt poor and that is why he place joan up and that the wheeler did him a huge favor in raising joan and that now he ougtht pay them, I could go on up you’lll have to wait til I write my blog entries to read more, I am not done with Joan yet.

Adopted Child Syndrome – a way out for 50 year old brats? #flipthescript March 4, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
comments closed

a person can find any number of ‘illnesses’ to explain their BS behaviors

This particular blog post gets FREQUENT views…must mean that there is a lot of interest in the topic…so…be aware…that there are some that can con others…

UPDATE February 2017; as older posts are being seen I, Gert am updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

Also see this Facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family-Adoptee-Duped-Adoption/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/-/1/ref=cm_cd_fp_rvt?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW

Joan Mary Wheeler forum 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/forum/cd/forum.html/ref=cm_cd_rvt?ie=UTF8&cdForum=Fx3T0YAD0KXNPP5

review of first book and 4 comments

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family-Joan-M-Wheeler/dp/1412061547

 

 

update, November 6, 2011

Please see Gert McQueen’s November 1, 2011 article “Americans for Open Records and Adopted Child Syndrome” for an insight on how “adult” adoptees refuse to take responsiblilty for their own behavior and shift the blame onto other people and “adopted child syndrome.” I don’t buy thier cop-out for a minute.  Just because someone has had a bad break in life, does not give them an excuse for hurting others, physically or emotionally.

ok, back to my original post:

I was directed to this interesting website. For those with problems, and who are sincerely trying to overcome them, and do accept the consequences of their actions, I give you hugs. Others, well, um, having been the victim of one, — sigh, —- oh, just read on:

AMERICANS FOR OPEN RECORDS www.Amfor.Net
Adopted Child Syndrome

In 1978, Dr. David Kirschner coined the term “Adopted Child Syndrome” as underlying “Dissociative Disorder,” in his paper, “Son of Sam and the Adopted Child Syndrome,” Adelphi Society for Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy Newsletter, 1978)… and in the same year, the Indian Child Welfare Act (Public Law 95-608) was amended to provide adult adoptees of Native American heritage “different rights” than non-Indian adoptees.

conflict with authority (for example truancy);
preoccupation with excessive fantasy;
pathological lying;
stealing;
running away (from home, school, group homes, situations);
learning difficulties, under-achievement, over-achievement;
lack of impulse control (acting out, promiscuity, sex crimes);
fascination with fire, fire-setting

Years laters Kirschner still maintained:

“In twenty-five years of practice I have seen hundreds of adoptees, most adopted in infancy. In case after case, I have observed what I have come to call the Adopted Child Syndrome, which may include pathological lying, stealing, truancy, manipulation, shallowness of attachment, provocation of parents and other authorities, threatened or actual running away, promiscuity, learning problems, fire-setting, and increasingly serious antisocial behavior, often leading to court custody. It may include an extremely negative or grandiose self-image, low frustration tolerance, and an absence of normal guilt or anxiety.” (“The Adopted Child Syndrome: What Therapists Should Know,” Psychotherapy in Private Practice, vol. 8 (3) Hayworth Press, 1990)….
*********************************************

alright. alright. So what we’re hearing, is that adoption has a detrimental effect on people. ok. So now what? The rest of society is just supposed to sit back and take their garbage?
Stealing from someone is wrong. And when it meets certain guidelines, IS A CRIMINAL OFFENSE! So, when an adopted person steals, we are just supposed to pat them on the head, and say, “there, there, it’s okay. You were adopted, so you don’t have to pay for your crime. You don’t have to apologize. You don’t have to make restitution.” BALONEY!

How many of you will make excuses for a pedophile? Not too many. What if we catch a pedophile. A child rapist. He’s put on the news. “String him by the balls.” many people say. And during his trial, we find out, *gasp* he was adopted! Now what do we do? SET HIM FREE? So he can abuse another child?

No. Criminals can come up with all sorts of excuses and rationales for their crimes. “I was abused as an child.” This is the most often heard excuse. Adolf Hitler was abused as a child. So was Charles Manson. Not too many people feel any sympathy for them. Jeffrey Dahmer and John Wayne Gacy were also abused as children. Not too many people feel any sympathy for them either. So let’s add a hypothetical factor into the mix: These 4 men were ADOPTED! Now what are we going to do? I know! I know! Let’s let Charles Manson out of prison! He’s not to blame, he was adopted!

In Buffalo, just this past week, we heard the gruesome details of a horrible crime that happened a couple of weeks ago. The 23 year old mentally and physically handicapped child of a mother was tortured to death. HER OWN MOTHER beat this girl. Sodomized her. Encouraged the girl’s 33 year old half brother to rape her. Her head was covered up, she was beaten, scalding hot water was poured on her by the brother hours before her death. Another brother, in the military, and other people were calling left and right to the authorities to have the 23 year old removed from the house, but the system failed her.

What are your thoughts? Should the mother and brother be held accountable for their actions? New York State does not have the death penalty. Should they get life imprisonment? 50 years to life? What would you charge them with? First degree murder? Manslaughter? First degree rape and sexual assault? The district attorney is charging them with a hate crime, because the victim was mentally and physically handicapped.

Now what are your thoughts about the mother? Sadistic cruel bitch, eh? How can a mother do that to her own child? 

How about Scott Peterson, who murdered his pregnant wife Lacey Peterson a few years ago? O.J.Simpson? Think of any high-profile, (or low-profile) criminal case you can. What are your thoughts? They should pay for their crimes, right? How about Osama bin Laden, who masterminded the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, who is responsible for the worst terrorist attack on the planet? Any member of Al-Qaeda, who is responsible for other terrorist attacks around the world? They should pay for their crimes, right?

Well about if all these people were ADOPTED? Now what? We should just let them go free? Not charge them with any crime? Let them go so they can go and kill somebody else?

How about your local street punk, who robs you at knifepoint for your spare change. What’s he gonna do with that spare change? Get enough together to score some more crack? What’s his dam excuse? He was adopted?
Or about the crack addict who busts in the door of an elderly couple, beats them, breaking their facial bones. Rapes the 79 year old woman, then ransacks the home for valuables. The elderly man dies hours later of a heart attack. The woman lingers in the hospital for several weeks before she too dies. Oh, but wait! The crack addict was adopted!

GET OFF YOUR LITANY OF EXCUSES THAT ADOPTEES ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS.

I don’t feel sorry for ANYBODY who was adopted and uses adoption as an excuse for their own bad behavior.  EVERYBODY ON THIS PLANET HAS SOME SORT OF PROBLEM. And we all LEARN HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM AND GET ON WITH A LAW-ABIDING LIFE THAT INCLUDES RESPECTING OTHER PEOPLE.

As the FORMER VICTIM of an adoptee with psychological problems I want to say: I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR “ISSUE du JOUR” is. I DON’T CARE THAT YOU GOT PROBLEMS! YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE IT OUT ON ME!

I don’t care that Joan has problems dealing with the fact that she was adopted. This does NOT give her the right to steal from me, lie about me, trash me in her book, call my job to get me fired, manipulate people and try to turn them against me, try to break me and my husband up, send me harassment letters, send me envelopes addressed to ME, but the inside letter is for somebody else, pose as me and call child abuse on herself and name my husband as a sex offender.

In her book, Forbidden Family, Joan says that I live in the inner city. The ghetto. Like that’s a crime. A disgusting thing. Yeah, well, she used to live a mile and a half away from me, also in the inner city. So what was her point? Her point, and this was a value judgement, that because I live in the inner city, I am trash. Really? I have held the same job for 37 and a half years. I don’t do drugs. I drink only occasionally. I do not use or sell drugs. I do not, nor have ever sold my body on the street. I have had less than 7 sexual partners in my whole life, have never cheated on my two husbands, have never been arrested. I have had only one speeding ticket, and I was going with the flow of traffic. I am not perfect, but I am not trash. But Joan would have you believe that I am.

Let’s go back over this list that adoptees seem to have problems with:

conflict with authority (for example truancy);
preoccupation with excessive fantasy;
pathological lying;
stealing;
running away (from home, school, group homes, situations);
learning difficulties, under-achievement, over-achievement;
lack of impulse control (acting out, promiscuity, sex crimes);
fascination with fire, fire-setting

OH  yes, conflict with authority. In 1999, she was harassing my cousin big time. Gail went to the Town of Eden police for help. The police told Joan to stop contacting Gail. But she sent Gail another letter. Gail goes back to the police, and in front of Gail, they phone Joan. “Did you contact Mrs. B. after we told you not to?” And Joan answered “yes.” So Joan was hauled into court BY THE TOWN OF EDEN POLICE! Not Gail, but the police themselves. But on November 3, 2009, when I phoned Joan to inform her of an aunt’s death, Joan calls the police on me! Joan has a problem with authority, but will call them left and right on other people, whom she perceives as “bothering her.”

Excessive fantasy. oh geez. In 1988, Joan was lining up musicians to write the music for the movie version of her as-yet-unwritten book. I, I, I can’t even fathom this one. I don’t know what to say.  Unfortunately, the duo, J. & B., lost J. She died. No movie soundtrack. No movie either.

Pathological lying. — what my blog is about. ’nuff said.

stealing. — oh yes, both me and my sister Kathy have suffered thefts from Joan.

running away. — Joan has not “run away” from home that I know of. But she certainly runs away from her problems. Will not admit that she has them. In fact, Joan is perfect. It’s everybody else on the planet that has the problem.

learning difficulties, under-achievement, over-achievement; — Joan’s only learning difficulties is her lack of learning how NOT to treat people like dirt. Under-achievement – Joan is very intelligent. I have always said this. But does she use her brains at all? She has no job. She has a college degree, but has no job. She claims she is a social worker. But has no job. She is not disabled. She has IBS and allergies. So do I.

lack of impulse control (acting out, promiscuity, sex crimes);  — lack of impulse control — that’s an understatement when it comes to Joan. She can’t control herself, her mouth, her actions, her hands at the keyboard, her hands on the phone, her hands writing stupid letters and sending them to elected officials and telling lies about me. I don’t think she has done any sex crimes. Promiscuity. mmm, mmm, I’m not even going there.  No Comment at This Time.

fascination with fire, fire-setting – She writes in her book that she burned all her diaries, and bunches of stuff. She told one of my cousins that she has no pictures of her children when they were babies, because in a fit of rage, she burned all their pictures and toys IN FRONT OF THEM!It’s not her fault. Nothing ever is. She’s Teflon.

So here it is, a week later, and I’m still here, still pointing out lies and contradictions made by Joan Wheeler in her book and on her blog.     Back on February 24 or February 25, Joan contacted her good friend Mara to tell her about my blog. Mara then posts a discussion on a forum she belongs to asking for support. She wanted other members of the forum to back up her friend who was being slammed by her own sister. (like Joan hasn’t slammed ME for years?). Well, my goodness, all of a sudden all these adoptees came out of the woodwork and started coming over here to check out my blog. In just 3 days, well over 200 views! I got 7 comments total, from 5 people (2 people left 2 comments). ALL derogatory, and one, by Sweet Mara, was just full of obscenities!
   But geez! On page 370 of her book Forbidden Family, Joan derides me for my “street talk.” lol. She says that I talk street talk as my usual style of conversation. Oh really? Now if that isn’t a slam OF HER OWN SISTER, then, sweet Mara, what do you call it?
And another indication of how hypocritical Joan is. I have heard Joan use potty language myself. And worse than me! But she calls Sweet Mara, her friend, who left me a obscene comment. every other word was F this, F that, and her closing words were F U!
     Then these people complain that I didn’t post their comments. Why should I? They were hateful. Not even staying on the subject! The subject of being the reason of my blog: ferreting out and pointing out lies and contradictions made by Joan in her book and her blog. and then telling the TRUTH behind those lies and contradictions! Uh, people, uh, JOAN doesn’t allow certain comments on HER blog, so why you are complaining about me, not allowing your comments, why don’t you go back and ask JOAN why she won’t allow MY comment? I left a comment on her blog over a month ago. Somebody left a comment and said, “all those involved in your (Joan’s) adoption were not good human beings.” I had an issue with that. MY FATHER was involved in Joan’s adoption and I was NOT going to sit back and let somebody say that my father is not a good human being. I left Joan a very nicely worded polite comment, saying that my comment was NOT to harass her, but to defend my father.
On the page before page 1 in her book, Joan puts down some interesting quotes. One was the fourth commandment: HONOR THY MOTHER AND THY FATHER.
    When Joan allowed that stranger to say what she did, (by not saying, I agree with your comment, but please do not disrespect my birth father), Joan did NOT honor my father, HER BIRTH FATHER.
    When Joan did not allow me to defend my father, Joan did not honor her birth father. — another little contradiction from your friendly neighborhood liar Joan Wheeler.

And you didn’t see me throwing a hissy fit because Joan didn’t post my comment. I wrote about it, yes, right here on my blog. (I will have to go find it and provide a link for it). I posted my original comment defending my father here on my blog. But I didn’t go into spasms because Joan didn’t publish my comment. As the webmistress of her blog, she had the right NOT to publish my comment. As the webmistress of THIS blog, I have the same right. Before I started this blog, I left a comment over at the Daily Bastardette (the only adoption reform site I left a comment on). It was in answer to the post “Joan Wheeler is a Baaaaad Girl.” It was a polite comment. I identified myself as Joan’s birth sister, and I pointed out a contradiction made by Joan. I can’t even remember what it was all about. Anyway, the webmistress chose not to publish my comment.  That was her right. And that’s what gave me the idea to start a blog, to get out MY statements on Joan’s adoption, MY family history, MY life story. And telling the TRUTH about it all.

So, here it is a week later, me and my blog are still here, and no more visits from Sweet Mara and her other cyber bully buddies. So what did you accomplish Joan? All you did was show everyone what a USER you are. oh boo hoo, my sister has a blog and she is saying stuff about me. boo hoo hoo.

Well, people Joan has published a book that says a lot about me! You don’t see me boo-hooing and getting other people to do my dirty work. I STAND UP FOR MYSELF! I started this blog to defend myself, my father, my mother, my (dead) son, and the rest of my family!

Joan had the guts to write that disgusting lying book. She is well capable of standing up for herself. She has done so before. What’s the problem now? No, she has no problem standing up for herself and answering my charges of her lies.  She has no explanation of why her book is nothing but a hate-filled book trashing me, my family and just about everybody in her life, from childhood up, who has ever disagreed with her. 

 One of the “charges” one of her adoptee bully-buddies said in a comment is that why am I trashing Joan for disagreeing with me. No, I am not trashing her for disagreeing with me, I am putting out the truth, AND telling you the rotten stuff Joan has done to me. Like calling child abuse on herself, saying she was me in the call, and telling the authorities that my husband is a sex offender. Joan is very silent about that. Why? In her book she relates that we had a three month court battle because of that child abuse call. I have scanned into my computer, and uploaded and posted here in this blog, actual court documents that prove without a doubt, that this three month court battle NEVER HAPPENED. Joan is here reading my blog. Sweet Mara admits it. Why does Joan not say anything  in her “defense?” I will tell you why: SHE HAS NO DEFENSE. SHE GOT CAUGHT IN A REAL BIG LIE AND NOW ISN’T WOMAN ENOUGH TO OWN UP TO HER LIE AND TELL THE WORLD JUST WHAT SORT OF LOW-LIFE SHE IS!

She tells her friend Sweet Mara that she is depressed. I would just bet she is depressed. She is depressed because the truth about her is now coming out.

She’s been a member of your forum for a week now (as of March 6). Has she contributed anything? Has she even thanked you guys for your support and you backing her up? You guys went out of your ways, to visit a “rambling, hard to read” (really!) blog, took the time to comment, albeit none of them very mannerly, and one showing me what a filthy-minded, potty-mouthed BRAT she is, and what has Joan done? Has she shown gratitude? “Awesome” people show gratitude.

Sweet Mara went out of her way to ask for support from the forum for Joan, and Joan has sat backed and done nothing! She’s happy. She just manipulated a “friend” to do her dirty work, namely come over here and see how awful her birth sister is,  and even trash me yourselves!

Are you people so weak-minded, that you let yourselves get led around by the nose when someone boo-hoo’s to you? Or are you really cyber-bullies who get off by leaving stupid and filthy comments on somebody’s blog? Either way, I am not impressed with any of you, nor intimidated by you.

Sweet Mara, do you see how you were used by Joan? How does it feel to have been manipulated into doing Joan’s dirty work? What did YOU accomplish? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Oh I am sure you guys are over at your discussion forum just ripping me to shreds. lol. So what? Go ahead! Sit there with your gossip mongering and character assassination. It ain’t bothering me. I ain’t reading it. I could care less what the heck you do on your forum. Do what you want. Say what you want. You ain’t related to me, you got nothing to do with me. I’m just sitting here laughing at all you guys, having been taken in by poor poor innocent little Joni. roflmao! And if she is what you call an awesome role model, I have to question YOUR insight. And after I have found it lacking, I feel — nothing. Well, not exactly nothing, I am feeling — amusement! I think the whole thing is funny.
I really wish I could upgrade my WordPress account so I could upload some videos. I have a webcam on my little netbook. I really need to make a video of myself reading aloud from my blog about this incident. I’m not sure if I could get the words out between my guffaws.  I must say the whole affair is most entertaining. (ty Sir Arthur Conan Doyle).  (paraphrase from The Speckled Band, Adventures of Sherlock Holmes). omg you guys are soooo predictable.

Anyways, let me go on with my ramblings. yes, I admit to some rambling, that’s because a blog is an online log, a journal. It is my blog, I can ramble if I dam well want to. If you don’t like it, too bad. Joan doesn’t have any trouble reading my blog, how come you guys can’t?

From Gert McQueen, March 4, 2010 at sister site The Three Sippel Sisters

Love and Open Communication are not just words, they should be LIVED!  December 12, 2009

notice to Joan Wheeler: my IP address changed by itself.  December 9, 2009

A most vile and hateful lie in Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family December 25, 2009

3. ktmckinsey – December 10, 2010
I’m an adult adoptee, and I can testify to the fact that infant adoption can leave serious emotional scars. It’s touched my life in ways that I can’t even begin to describe here, and adoption agencies should work to better educate adoptive parents so as to identify potential issues early on.

I guess I just want to point out one thing: most adoptees aren’t trying to excuse the violence committed by other adoptees. Children who are abused are also more likely to commit violent crimes as adults. We can acknowledge this fact without excusing the behavior or assuming that ALL formerly abused children are violent. Why can’t we take this same approach to adopted child syndrome and the potential for violence from adoptees? They are a high risk group, and it doesn’t do anyone any favors to assume otherwise.

2. Ruth – December 11, 2010
kt brings up some very good points. And while I was not ALL adoptees as to be exibiting anti-social behavior, I was trying to point out that a good many of them USE their “bad” childhood to justify their bad behaviors.

I personally have been to subjected to a LOT of bad behvior from the hands of Joan Wheeler, who uses her “bad” adoption as an excuse to inflict emotional pain and abuse on members of both her birth and adoptive families. This is unacceptable.

I am a human being too. I have rights too. I do not deserve to have hundreds of dollars stolen from me just because Joan was adopted and knows no boundaries. And when I understandably became angry at the theft, it was JOAN who began sending me harassing letters which started the feud that exists between us to this present day.

Joan has repeatedly done things that normal people just do not do. For instance, in 1999, I received two letters from her. One, was to inform me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant and thier daughter was born in 1994. I have known personally the two babies born to women at the house from 1987 to 1999 and they were baby boys. Now why would someone send their own sister a letter like that? AND use a friend’s return address – without the friend’s knowledge or consent. The second letter from Joan was yakking about the anniversary of our reunion, and in it was this sentance: “for some reason, you don’t like me.” Why would I like a person who steals from me and lies about my husband. And when I went to the return address of that first letter and showed it to Joan’s friend, Joan’s friend broke off her freindship with her. THEN Joan turns around and blames ME for the destruction of that friendship!

There are many more examples of Joan’s bad behaviors, and her unwillingness to acknowledge that it is HER actions, and HER actions alone that have gotten us to this point. and the final blow was the self-publication of her book in which she lies throughout the book about events that happened between me and her, and events in my life in which she had nothing to do with, and do not belong in a book that is supposed to be about adoption and adoption reform. That is the purpose of this blog – to shed the light on Joan’s deeds and lies.

I am not a psychologist in any way shape or form. I cannot give a definitive diagonose on just what is Joan’s problem. All I can say is that she exhibits symptoms of manic depression, (and I know for a fact that she has been treated for this in the past), she exhibits symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and this Adopted Child Syndrome.

Mental illness? oh yes, you don’t need to have a doctor’s degree to see that Joan is suffering from sort of mental illness. It is NOT normal for someone to steal from someone, and not recognize that it would hurt that person, and when the person is justifiably angry, it is NOT normal for someone to say that the other person does NOT have the right to be angry and hurt and not have the right to verbalize those feelings. Everytime I verbalized my anger, Joan herself got angrier and angrier and then the stalking, yes, stalking occured. It is NOT normal for someone to call another person’s job repeatedly to get them fired. It is NOT normal for a person to forge a letter from their own 10 year old son, the letter addressed to one person, and the envelope addressed to me, baiting me to call her. And when I called her, Joan hung up on me. and Icalled back two more times. And the following week, when my electricity was shut off, I called her for help, as she still owed me the money she stole from me, she hung up again. and again. And then turned around and filed a police report on me claiming that I was harassing her. She was given a sixmonth order of protection against me for this. the ONLY order of protection she EVER obtained from the collective Three Sippel Sisters.
Yet in the book, and all over the internet, this event is reported by Joan to say that I was arrested, placed on probation, the order of protection was for one year, I have a criminal record and she has had obtained MULTIPLE orders of protection against us sisters. ALL of this is false, false, false. These falsehoods are potentially damaging to our personal and professional lives. But does Joan care? No. And this is NOT normal for an adult woman to be doing these things. And I have scanned and posted here on this blog, actual court documents that prove that Joan is a liar – and she blindly blunders on – ignoring FACTS OF LIFE – !!!!

I don’t know what she thinks those actual court documents are – but she just ignores them as pages from a fairy tale! Even when confronted with absolute proof of her lies, with court documents and photographs on this blog, Joan STILL insists that the order of protection was for one year, I was arrested, I was placed on probation. THIS IS NOT NORMAL!

If adoptees don’t want to be lumped into this Adopted Child Syndrome, than I suggest they look to the company they keep. Is it Joan’s fault that she is mentally ill? Of course not! But she needs to be placed on medication and she needs to be undergoing Behavioral Modification Treatment, because not only does she engage in anti-social behviour, but criminal behavior as well. It is not ME or the other two Sippel Sisters who are engaging in criminal behavior, it is Joan. The entire Sippel family has turned their backs on Joan – not just us sisters. Why? Because she does things to them as well. But us sisters, particularly me, are her favorite targets. Why? I don’t know. I just don’t know.

We sisters and many other members of our family have been hurt many times over by Joan. I myself have shed many tears. My heart was taken out and stomped on by Joan in 1987, in 1990, in 1993, 1994, and again and again. I turned the other cheek so many times, I ran out of cheeks. And yet, in 2003, I tried, I really tried to have a relationship with her again, and it took her only 4 months to show her true colors and attack me again. And now the book and her continous going on internet forums and lying about me and my life and my family.

Adopted Child Syndrome? You are not only the company you keep, but the behavior you exhibit. People make mistakes, yes, but normal people correct their mistakes, apologize to the ones they hurt and don’t repeat the bad behavior. What is wrong with Joan? I don’t know, and at this point, I don’t care. I can only protect my life and my heart from being hurt by her again, AND correct all the lies she has spread about me and my family.

I have said it before on this blog – Joan is not only mentally ill, but a bully. A true bully. She attacks me and others, then runs to others for help when we will NOT accept her attacks. She will not stand up and acknowledge her contribution to our anger, and manipulates others to attack us in return. With this blog, we are not only shedding light on the deeds of Joan the Bully, thereby standing up to the bully, but we are correcting the bully’s lies.

Joan Wheeler insults gays and lesbians in her latest blog post February 25, 2010

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler.
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Sunday, Feb. 28

For those who take offense to what is my truth, then so be it! I’m not going to hide my thoughts for fear of offending someone. Joan had her turn at writing HER truth in her book Forbidden Family. Now it is MY turn to write MY truth. Why do you people think it is ok for Joan to trash me? But I’m not supposed to claim my right as a human being to put out the truth? No way! You people only know Joan through the internet, through her writing. She’s a good writer, that’s why I encouraged her to write her book waaay back in 1980. Didn’t know at the time that she would use that book to spread filthy lies about me. You people may have met her in person in conferences. Don’t be deceived. She is an actress. She uses and abuses people. If you people knew Joan in person, you’d be amazed. Why her own SON wants nothing to do with her, and she admits this in her book! Even at a funeral recently, the wife of the deceased person asked if I had spoken to Joan, I said no. She said “good, I don’t want her here.” Nobody wants her. She keeps harping on her extended adoptive family hates her. AND her birth family. Stop and ask yourselves WHY? Why does ONE person have sooooo many people who can’t stand her? And she admits in her book that people don’t like her.
As to me not posting the comments I received? Why should I post them? Not one of them was a disagreement with me, they were ALL abusive and attacking me. One was even full of obscenities.  And the person with the filthy mouth was the ringleader. Trying to get a bunch of her internet bullies to gang up on me. But could only find 5 people to back her up. lol. Out of over 200 views! wow, 6 against 1. and resorting to such potty language. roflmao!

If you disagree with me, then say so. You didn’t disagree with me, you attacked me. I do not respond to attacks and abuse. I do not respond to bullies. I will not be bullied or abused by anyone. Not Joan, not her internet bully buddies, not ANYONE! Got that?
So if you don’t like what you see here, you have my leave to go elsewhere. Sticking your heads in the sand or up your behind will not change the truth. Joan has lied in her book and on her blog and in person that I was arrested and placed on probation. I have provided actual court documentation that proves that this is a lie. And that FACT cannot be changed.
If Joan is depressed, it’s her own guilty conscience at work. Or most likely, since she has no conscience, she is ashamed and embarrassed that her filthy deeds to her own sister and others are now out in public for everyone to see. She had no conscience when she called my job repeatedly in 1994 and 1995 trying to get me fired. She had no qualms in stealing more than 700.00 from me, along with her husband. She had the balls to try to split me and my husband up. She even lies about her children. And used them as pawns in our feud. She says there was a three month court battle in 1994. I have provided actual court documentation that shows this never happened. She claimed that her children were there in the court because it involved them. Again, I have provided actual court documentation that shows this never happened. This is why she is depressed. Because her lies, her thefts, her schemes and her misdeeds are now for everyone to see.
These facts cannot be changed. I have not relied on faulty memory, but actual letters from her, letters from me, (photocopies), letters that she sent to elected officials giving them my private personal and health details, and letters she sent to my mother in law. Just yesterday I posted a letter from our lawyer that says in essence that Joan is a liar.

On February 23, 2010, Joan wrote another diatribe against falisified birth certificates. This is her sole reason for living. To correct the falsified birth certificates issued to adoptees. If that is her sole purpose in life, who am I to say anything? What I want to write about is Joan’s propensity for her mouth that keeps getting her into trouble.
The issue she is blogging about on February 23 is the fact that two gay men were awarded the right in a court of law to have both their names placed on their adopted child “birth” certificate. Joan calls the men “stupid” and “numbnuts.”

On February 24, 2010, in a follow up post, Joan writes the following: “Gays and Lesbians: go back into the corner. You can come back out only when you recognize and honor the facts of life for another human being.”

Excuse me Joan, who are YOU to tell a group of people to go back into the corner? Just because you think they are in error, does not give you the right to deride them. Isn’t the purpose of your blog to EDUCATE people on falsified birth certificates of adoptees and the psychological/socialogical effects of adoption on people? How do you think you are going to educate people when you insult them?

THIS IS JOAN’S PROBLEM! IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH HER, OR SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU OR SOMETHING YOU STAND FOR, SHE WILL CALL YOU NAMES, AND HURT AND INSULT YOU!

Then when the insulted or the hurt person speaks up for their right not to be insulted, or speak up for their right to have an opposing viewpoint from Joan, she will go off on a tangent, insult and hurt them more. Then when she sees that person is now her enemy, she wonders why they don’t like her, refuse to see how her own behavior made them an enemy of her, and then just blithely say that that person is an idiot, stupid, a numbnut or worse.

If she suffers any backlash because of now enmity of this person, she will sit and blame that person for the rift. Typical narcissistic behavior.

Joan has been told time and time again by MANY people that her own behavior is the contributing factor to the fact that nobody likes her or wants anything to do with her. But she is too stuck on her importance to see that. It’s not her fault. Nothing ever is. It’s always the other person’s fault. See, she was adopted, that’s why she can’t behave. oh puh-leeze!

follow up:   gosh, I hit a nerve. settle down Potsie!

Attention Adoption Reformers part 1 January 2, 2010

attention adoption reformers part 2  January 3, 2010

Attention Adoption Reformers – Part 3 January 5, 2010

Joan Wheeler, coward. Won’t stand by what she says. January 5, 2010

Ruining someone’s personal and professional reputation December 12, 2009

evidence of harassment of me by Joan Wheeler June 1998 December 12, 2009

Whining Teflon Dictator Joan at it again. December 28, 2009

A Contradiction by Joan Wheeler, which one is the lie? December 25, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler.
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One of the most telling characteristic of a person with Narcissitic Personality Disorder, is that they frequently contradict themselves. Here’s a good example of one that Joan Wheeler makes:

Yesterday, on December 24, on her blog, she says the following: “My natural mother was very pregnant with me at Christmas 1955. She went into the hospital two days after Christmas and never came home. Neither did I.”

On page 288 of her book Forbidden Family she claims that my father told her that she DID come home. She says that he told her “I brought you home for 24 hours.”

So, which is it Joan? You never came home, or you came home for 24 hours? Which is the factual account of your life? Your blog or your book?

See, Joan, you need to learn to TELL THE TRUTH IN EVERYTHING! Then you wouldn’t get caught up in all your LIES!

the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler is full of lies December 18, 2009

Posted by Ruth in Lies in the book Forbidden Family.
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I just got my copy. I paid One dollar for it thru Amazon.com. I also ordered dvd set of the Paper Chase season two. and got free shipping. So to me, that dollar I spent went for my shipping, and I got the book of lies for free.
This post is written in anger. This, this, THING that calls herself my sister, is a liar, thru and thru.
She says that her mentor Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, adoption expert from Utrecht, Holland came to my house to meet me and my husband. LIE! He never came to my house. Joan describes a scene where I jump up and am pumping my arms around calling her obsessed and POSSESSED. This is a lie!
I met Dr. Hoksbergen once, AT JOAN’S HOUSE, AND I BARELY SPOKE TO THE MAN.

Joan then describes the time in 1993 where she got a restraining order on me for annoyance phone calls. I have told the story briefly in the post about a forged letter I recieved that was supposedly written by her 10 year old son. But it was not from her son, it was written by Joan. See the post, you may have to click on “older posts” to see the letter. I scanned and posted it.
She railroaded into court and I was given a SIX MONTH RESTRAINING ORDER TO STAY AWAY FROM HER. IT WAS NOT FOR ONE YEAR. AND IT WAS DISMISSED.
Joan says in her book that my phone service was listed under the name of Brandy Sippel and Francoise Sippel.
Brand was my Siberian Husky. She says in her book it was my cat. This happened in 1993? I did not get the dog until 1994! So how does my phone service get listed under Brandy Sippel? Brandy was her name when we got her as a three year old dog from people. I didn’t know Brandy until 1994.
LIES.
In another part of the book of lies, she says that I went to a fertility clinic. WRONG AND LIES! I never went to a fertility clinic. I tried for 4 years to have a child with my first husband, then had a miscarriage. I never went to any fertility clinic or testing.

Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, I was going to write another post about the time Joan conned YOU into that nonsense about my sister in England’s belongings. I wasn’t going to use your real name, but since you wrote the forward to this book of lies, I hold you partially responsible for this crazy woman’s book of lies.
In your letter to my sister April 19, 1993, you tell K. that the cost of shipping her belongings to her would cost $500.00, and Joan did not have a car at that time to drive the stuff to a post office.
What Joan did NOT tell you, Dr. Hoksbergen, is that K. had sent a money order to Joan to cover the shipping costs. And she wrote and told Joan if she needed to take a cab, to call her and K. would send more money for cabfare. It was my father, who sent some of K.’s belongings to her for $52.50 OUT OF HIS OWN MONEY!
I have a letter that Joan wrote to K. that says, “I have recieved the money order.”
What did she do with the money? She STOLE IT! JUST LIKE SHE STOLE OVER $900.00 FROM ME! I notice THAT isn’t in her book! She also STOLE most of K.’s belongings BY NOT SHIPPING THEM TO HER.
She justifies herself in her book as saying that she didn’t have time to ship the stuff over. And something about why did K. leave her stuff here anyway?
K. left the stuff in the care of my brother with the understanding that she would be sending for it eventually. When my brother moved to Arizone, Joan, BY HERSELF, TOOK THE RESPONSIBILITY TO CARE FOR THE TRUNKS AND SHIP THE BELONGINGS TO K. WHEN SHE ASKED FOR THEM. And K. NEVER INTENDED FOR ANYONE TO BE FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SHIPPING COSTS. IF JOAN DIDN’T HAVE TIME TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR CARING FOR SOMEONE’S ELSE’S BELONGINGS, SHE SHOULD HAVE TURNED THEM OVER TO SOMEONE WITH THE MATURE BRAINS AND RESPONSIBLITY TO CARE FOR THEM.

That’s all the stuff I’ve read so far. I don’t think I’ll read anymore today. I have housework to do, and a concert to go to tonight.

PEOPLE: IF YOU WANT TO GET THIS BOOK CHEAP, IT’S A DOLLAR AT AMAZON.COM. OTHER PRICES ARE 35.00 AND UP!
BUT I WARN YOU: IT’S A BUNCH OF LIES!!!!!
JOAN IF YOU ARE READING THIS, GET A LAWYER, COMPLAIN ALL YOU WANT ABOUT THIS BLOG, COMPLAIN ALL YOU WANT THAT I AM “RUINING YOUR PROFESSIONAL REPUTATION.”
No, I’m not ruining your professional reputation, you are doing that yourself. Your book is a bunch of lies.

Dr. Rene Hoksbergen: you know damed well you never set foot in my house. And that conversation never took place. You are responsible for this lying book as much as Joan is.
BY THE WAY, I HAVE PAPER STATEMENTS FROM THE COURT THAT THE RESTRAINING ORDER FROM 1993 WAS FOR SIX MONTHS, NOT ONE YEAR. I HAVE THE LETTERS THAT JOAN WROTE TO K. SAYING SHE RECIEVED THE MONEY ORDER. I HAVE THE RECEIPT THAT SHOWS WHAT MY FATHER SPENT, AND WHAT HE SENT OVER TO K. I HAVE THE LETTER THAT DR. HOKSBERGEN WROTE TO K. I HAVE ALL THE PAPERS AND THEY WILL ALL BE SCANNED AND POSTED HERE.
On page 359, of this book of lies, Joan says that in February 1999, she sent a nice letter to my brother in Arizona, concerning the 25 th anniversary of our reunion. She relates a nice letter. She says she sent similar letters to her sisters.
I am going to post the letter I recieved. Along with another one I got from her saying that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant, and the baby girl was born in 1993. LIE! the only two babies born in that house were boys, no baby was even born on my street in 1993.
I was just trying to post those letters here, but it’s not working. But I will get them up. “I wrote similar letters to my sisters.” LIAR. The letter to my brother was sweet, mine was full of hate and lies.
But that’s all Joan has ever shown me is hate and lies.
And by the way, she blames ME for her breakup with her boyfriend Brian? She says in her book, that she told him that she (Joan) borrowed $800 from me.
LIE she and her husband STOLE IT FROM ME.
We were going to buy an apartment building together, I put up money that I borrowed from the bank. Into a joint checking account. I gave her husband permission to borrow $500.00 to buy a case of fireworks to sell. When it was being sold, he never put the money back. And Joan stole over $200.00 to fix her car without my permission.
This was not borrowed money, this was STOLEN money!

Narcissistic personality disorder December 14, 2009

Posted by Ruth in mental illness, Uncategorized.
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Now I have long suspected that my sister Joan Wheeler was mentally unstable. I’ve said so for more than 20 years. When she blasted me with another round of verbal abuse during my phone call of November 3, 2009 (where I called to tell her that her godmother had died), I was deeply hurt. I knew that our track record was not so good. But I really did not think she would go off on me the way she did. Silly me. Anyway, I was so hurt, I just burst into tears when I hung up on her. I went to my dad’s house. While I was driving over there, she had called him, an 85 year old man, (of whom she gets on the internet and to elicit sympathy reports that he is dying), but on November 3, she screamed at him on the phone, resulting in him hanging up on her. That day, my father told me, “Joan is mentally ill. You cannot reason with her.”

Now I am NOT posting this in order to attack Joan, I have not built this blog to attack Joan.  The purpose of this blog is twofold: To get out the truth behind Joan Wheeler’s adoption and what happened to our family afterwards. And to tell the truth behind our reunion with our little sister and why that reunion went bad. It went bad because of Joan’s arrogance, her meddling in family affairs and our lives,  her harassment of us and subjecting us to emotional and verbal abuse.  She has disrespected  almost her entire birth family (those have not been engaged in a harassment war with her are simply those she has a use for).

Joan Wheeler, in her book Forbidden Family, and on various internet sites, her own blog sites, adoption reform sites, discussion forums, and in comment sections on various sites on the internet, keeps putting forth a false account of her adoption, even though she has been told the truth by the one person who should dam well know the truth: my father.

I INTERRUPT THIS POST WITH AN UPDATE APRIL 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor!

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

NOW BACK TO THIS POST

Joan says he was talked into giving her up for adoption, that he was under duress, that the Catholic Church talked him into giving her up.  She blames her adoptive family, The Wheelers for coercing him to give her up, then she says The Wheelers blame him for giving her up. She says that members of the Wheelers and my mother’s family blame my father for separating the rest of us kids. NO. There were no daycare centers in 1956. There were no adults to help. My father’s  parents were elderly, my grandfather was deaf and had one leg,  my grandmother worked two jobs. My father had no siblings. My mother’s siblings were getting old, and the others had a bunch of little kids and babies of their own. One brother of my mother offered to adopt ME, so how could my mother’s family blame my dad for separating us, when one of them offered to do so? (with love, I may add, my uncle and his wife were the sweetest people you’d ever met).  As for the Wheelers: it was one of the Wheelers who first suggested that Joan be adopted: her brother and his wife were childless, so she approached my mother’s sister, a childhood friend of hers, and my aunt then approached my dad. So again, how could the Wheelers be blaming my dad for giving her up. And how could my mother’s sister be blaming my dad, when it was her who approached me dad. My father told ME personally many years ago that after he was approached by my aunt, he thought long and hard about it. He consulted his parish priest (that’s how the Catholic Church got into this), he consulted a lawyer.  The adoption became finalized approximately NINE MONTHS LATER. In those nine months, my father had ample time to reconsider his decision. So whatever garbage you have heard from or read from Joan Wheeler concerning the facts of her adoption is a bunch of lies. She doesn’t even get her lies straight. She does say it was a Wheeler relative who wanted the baby. But does she not then say it was the Wheelers who blast my father doing this? Go back and read her comments on the ABCNews.com article “Adoptees face sting of discrimination.” Put yourself mentally back in time to 1956, when there were no daycare centers, no welfare system like we have now. Nowadays, when you have a baby, you can simply go downtown and get everything provided for you. Rent on voucher, food stamps, WIC, medical and dental for yourself and your baby, appliances, utilities paid for, spending money; your whole existance, and your child(ren) are all taken care of. Not 50 years ago. And all the people involved in Joan’s adoption were all acting to take care of her physical being. To ensure she had a roof over her head, clothes and food, diapers changed, bottles given. Who would have done that if she were laying in a crib all day unattended and my dad at work to earn money to pay the bills?

Joan knows all this, she’s a mother herself, but of course never worked a blasted day in her life while her kids were babies. And she always had her mother and daycamp to help out. MY FATHER HAD NO SUCH HELP! And because we, her birth sisters, have tried for years to get her see the TRUTH of what happened to her, and to us, we have been singled out as targets for her abuse, her lies, her harassment.

In this blog, what I have written and scanned and posted, has always been to prove that I, Ruth Sippel, and her two older sisters, (we, The Three Sippel Sisters) are NOT the ones who are doing the lying, the bashing, the trashtalking, the manipulation, the soap opera plots, the interfering, the meddling, the harassment. It is, and always WAS Joan. I have scanned and posted some of the actual letters that I have received from Joan. Any letters that I have written to her, and I will scan and post them (those that I still have) to prove that the purpose of MY letters were always to plead with Joan to STOP her abuse and harassment and LEAVE ME ALONE! and for her to SHUT UP! When I, or any of Joan’s birth or adoptive families have told her to shut up, it was not for her to shut up about her adoption reform work (unless she had talked about til the point we were nauseous), but mostly we were trying to get her to SHUT UP AND STOP HARASSING US.

Joan’s manipulation of the truth, her lies, her contradicting herself while posting one thing on one internet forum, then another thing on another forum, are all indictive of someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

So I learned a little bit of NPD (Narcissistic personality disorder) and want to share it with you. There’s a long list of traits here, and I have noticed all but 2 with Joan, and the last three, being about work, sleep and eating habits, I have no knowledge. But what fits Joan Wheeler to a “T” is the last 4 paragraphs. Please read all this post, and especially pay attention to the last 4 paragraphs. Readers here who may personally know Joan Wheeler, control your blood pressures! And if you are in a public library, I know it will be difficult to keep silent. You will all want to jump up and shout to the universe: THAT’S JOAN! THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT SHE DOES! AND IS!  Any phrase outlined in bold is MY emphasis on these phrases. Because this is exactly what I have noticed in Joan. Others may recognize the same phrases, or not, or they may notice other phrases that are of particular importance to them. Happy reading.

*************************The following is NOT my writing. But taken from several sources.  But dang, those last 4 paragraphs could have been written by me. Because I have LIVED it.! I have experienced it from Joan Wheeler! **This is printed here for informational purposes only. To understand why Joan Wheeler is the way she is. ***************************************

Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by dramatic, emotional behavior, in the same category as antisocial and borderline personality disorders. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they’re superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include: Believing that you’re better than others; Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness; Exaggerating your achievements or talents; Expecting constant praise and admiration; Believing that you’re special and acting accordingly; Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings; Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans; Taking advantage of others; Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior; Being jealous of others; Believing that others are jealous of you; Trouble keeping healthy relationships; Setting unrealistic goals; Being easily hurt and rejected; Having a fragile self-esteem; Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional;

Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it’s not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don’t value themselves more than they value others. When you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may have a sense of entitlement. And when you don’t receive the special treatment to which you feel entitled, you may become very impatient or angry. You may insist on having “the best” of everything — the best car, athletic club, medical care or social circles, for instance. But underneath all this behavior often lies a fragile self-esteem. You have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have a sense of secret shame and humiliation. And in order to make yourself feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and efforts to belittle the other person to make yourself appear better. Essentially, narcissists are unable or unwilling to trust either the world or other people to meet their needs. Perhaps they were born to parents unable to connect emotionally and, thus, as infants learned not to let another person be essential to them in any way. Perhaps NPD starts later, when intrusive or abusive parents make it dangerous for the child to accept other people’s opinions and valuations. Maybe it comes from a childhood environment of being treated like royalty or little gods. Whatever the case, narcissists have made the terrible choice not to love. In their imaginations, they are complete unto themselves, perfect and not in need of anything anyone else can give them. (NB: Narcissists do not count their real lives — i.e., what they do every day and the people they do it with — as worth anything.) Their lives are impoverished and sterile; the price they pay for their golden fantasies is high: they’ll never share a dream for two.

Traits: amoral/conscienceless; authoritarian; care only about appearances; contemptuous; critical of others; cruel; disappointing gift-givers; don’t recognize own feelings; envious and competitive; feel entitled; flirtatious or seductive; grandiose; hard to have a good time with; hate to live alone; hyper-sensitive to criticism; impulsive; lack sense of humor; naive; passive; pessimistic; religious; secretive; self-contradictory; stingy; strange work habits; unusual eating habits; weird sense of time

The most telling thing that narcissists do is contradict themselves. They will do this virtually in the same sentence, without even stopping to take a breath. It can be trivial (e.g., about what they want for lunch) or it can be serious (e.g., about whether or not they love you). When you ask them which one they mean, they’ll deny ever saying the first one, though it may literally have been only seconds since they said it — really, how could you think they’d ever have said that? You need to have your head examined! They will contradict FACTS. They will lie to you about things that you did together. They will misquote you to yourself. If you disagree with them, they’ll say you’re lying, making stuff up, or are crazy. [At this point, if you’re like me, you sort of panic and want to talk to anyone who will listen about what is going on: this is a healthy reaction; it’s a reality check (“who’s the crazy one here?”); that you’re confused by the narcissist’s contrariness, that you turn to another person to help you keep your bearings, that you know something is seriously wrong and worry that it might be you are all signs that you are not a narcissist]. They will complain about the same things for years on end, but only rarely do anything to change what dissatisfies them so badly. Narcissists are (a) extremely sensitive to personal criticism and (b) extremely critical of other people. They think that they must be seen as perfect or superior or infallible, next to god-like (if not actually divine, then sitting on the right hand of God) — or else they are worthless. There’s no middle ground of ordinary normal humanity for narcissists. They can’t tolerate the least disagreement. In fact, if you say, “Please don’t do that again — it hurts,” narcissists will turn around and do it again harder to prove that they were right the first time; their reasoning seems to be something like “I am a good person and can do no wrong; therefore, I didn’t hurt you and you are lying about it now…” — sorry, folks, I get lost after that.

Anyhow, narcissists are habitually cruel in little ways, as well as big ones, because they’re paying attention to their fantasy and not to you, but the bruises on you are REAL, not in your imagination. Thus, no matter how gently you suggest that they might do better to change their ways or get some help, they will react in one of two equally horrible ways: they will attack or they will withdraw. Be wary of wandering into this dragon’s cave — narcissists will say ANYTHING, they will trash anyone in their own self-justification, and then they will expect the immediate restoration of the status quo. They will attack you (sometimes physically) and spew a load of bile, insult, abuse, contempt, threats, etc., and then — well, it’s kind of like they had indigestion and the vicious tirade worked like a burp: “There. Now I feel better. Where were we?” They feel better, so they expect you to feel better, too. They will say you are nothing, worthless, and turn around immediately and say that they love you. When you object to this kind of treatment, they will say, “You just have to accept me the way I am. (God made me this way, so God loves me even if you are too stupid to understand how special I am.)” Accepting them as they are (and staying away from them entirely) is excellent advice.

The other “punishment” narcissists mete out is banishing you from their glorious presence — this can turn into a farce, since by this point you are probably praying to be rescued, “Dear God! How do I get out of this?” The narcissist expects that you will be devastated by the withdrawal of her/his divine attention, so that after a while — a few weeks or months (i.e., the next time the narcissist needs to use you for something) — the narcissist will expect you to have learned your lesson and be eager to return to the fold. If you have learned your lesson, you won’t answer that call. They can’t see that they have a problem; it’s always somebody else who has the problem and needs to change. Therapies work at all only when the individual wants to change and, though narcissists hate their real selves, they don’t want to change — they want the world to change. And they criticize, gripe, and complain about almost everything and almost everyone almost all the time. There are usually a favored few whom narcissists regard as absolutely above reproach, even for egregious misconduct or actual crime, and about whom they won’t brook the slightest criticism. These are people the narcissists are terrified of, though they’ll tell you that what they feel is love and respect; apparently they don’t know the difference between fear and love. Narcissists just get worse and worse as they grow older; their parents and other authority figures that they’ve feared die off, and there’s less and less outside influence to keep them in check.

Narcissists lack a mature conscience and seem to be restrained only by fear of being punished or of damaging their reputations — though, again, this can be obscure to casual observation if you don’t know what they think their reputations are, and what they believe others think of them may be way out of touch with reality. Their moral intelligence is about at the level of a bright five- or six-year-old; the only rules they recognize are things that have been specifically required, permitted, prohibited, or disapproved of by authority figures they know personally. Anyhow, narcissists can’t be counted on not to do something just because it’s wrong, illegal, or will hurt someone, as long as they think that they can get away with it or that you can’t stop them or punish them (i.e., they don’t care what you think unless they’re afraid of you).

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