Joan Wheeler goes from manic state to depressive state awful fast over her latest FAILED romance. December 31, 2013Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental instability, passing assumptions off as truth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stupidity, whining
Joan Wheeler goes from manic state to depressive state awful fast over her latest FAILED romance. – all information and quotes are from what Joan Wheeler herself has put out on public internet for all to see. remember – if you don’t want people to read it – don’t put it on the internet.
SEE END OF THIS POST FOR UPDATED INFO
In a mess that SHE herself created, Joan first rants and raves about a guy she met at a bar back in June 2013. Within two weeks, marriage plans are made. What stupid idiot meets a guy and within two weeks makes plans to marry this total stranger? Joan Wheeler, that’s who. So she goes to New Mexico with the guy in August and the truth comes out. He’s an alcoholic (so is Joan, but she won’t say so in conjuction with this stuff – but did admit to it in her book), he got caught driving drunk and was thrown in jail for 30 days, (my, my, my), his family decided to do some background checking on Joan (wise move considering we’ve got two people who within 2 weeks of meeting want to get married – doesn’t matter if he’s 63 and she’s 57 – they are both thinking like 13 year olds), the family apparently googled her, came to this blog and saw the truth about her – then so did he. Apparently there were words between everybody, and Joan came home, and cried all through September.
Last week, her website got a hit from New Mexico. Never mind that there are tons of people living in New Mexico and any one of them could have gone to her website, and never mind that Gert has personal friends living in New Mexico and it could have been them – Joan sees the hit, ASS-umes that it’s the boyfriend and/or his family and goes off on a bitch fest – a real rockin’ psychopathic rant! Insults the guy – mocking him for his PTSD (and using the tired old stereotype of the crazy Vietnam Veteran – for shame, Joan) AND DRAGS ME AND GERT IN ON IT. (but she’s always bitching that we won’t stay out of her life – and when we are not – she drags us into it!). I say ASS-ume because when you assume something without real evidence, all you do is make an ASS out of yourself – which is what Joan does all the time. She sees or reads something, and right away ASS-umes things about people.
Here are blog posts that Gert and I did about this mess that Joan HERSELF created:
SOOOO after all that ranting and our blogging, Joan read Gert’s blog and sees Gert’s statement: “DOES Joan have any positive things going into her life? She never tells us anything that is positive in what she does. Nothing about good eating, sleeping, exercise, meditations, readings, etc…she boring! Once in a while is posts some feel good quote, but she doesn’t live it!”
And knowing that Gert takes Zumba classes (my, are we STALKING Gert now, Joan?) Joan all of a sudden says that she’s “getting healthy, being more positive, is thankful for her female friends and taking Zumba classes).
In the evening of December 30, 2013, she’s on the downside of manic depression – she’s on a downer, and lamenting the loss of her latest romance. I didn’t see the garbage until I woke up about 11:30am December 31, 2013. The time frame that Joan wrote her latest stuff – I was busy with my life – doing housework, then watching the special features on the DVD of John Carpenter’s The Fog. (btw, Joan put me down in her book because I collect movies. So? Who the hell is she to comment on how I spend my $$ or my life? She does so, because her life is so miserable, she looks at me and sees my full life, and she can’t have it, so must debase it).
And I can comment on Joan’s life and this mess because SHE DRAGGED ME INTO IT. SHE DELIBRATELY WROTE A TWEET ABOUT THIS FUCKED UP SITUATION THAT CONTAINED A REFERENCE TO HER BIRTH SISTERS (me and Gert). Therefore, we EARNED the right to write about it.
So I get up and meander over to twitter to see what’s up with a couple of tweets I had exchanged with Luke Evans (Bard the Bowman) – o gods! not only is Ruth collecting movies, she’s communicating with people who are acting in them! Quick now! Get the noose and string Ruth up!
So I see what Joan writes and I wanted to puke. I then go over to facebook and see that Gert also had seen it and this is what we say about the pukey shit:
facebook exchanges: from Gert to Ruth Herr Sippel Pace the idiot is crying in her beer…around midnight she says..
Deep pain in knowing it is over. My love. New Year will be better for us both. I release you, my love. Good bye my Darling. May you find your true love. She lies within. I move on
after all that ranting and raving and saying she’s DONE and getting on with her life and he was a loser…this is so typical of Joan Wheeler!
from Gert Mcqueen so I added a comment on the blog post and incorporated Ruth’s comment and mine into the body of that post and retweeted it…I can’t believe it, YES I can cause this is HOW joan operates, she doesn’t get her way, she throws fits, gets kicked in the face, bitches and screams cause no one loves her, she rants and raves that they are bad and mean to her, then she gets sympathy from others and says oh I’m ok and then in the dark of the night she crys for what she lost asshole
from Ruth Herr Sippel Pace omy god I want to puke with the saccharine fakeness of it all.
and notice now how she’s going out of her way to list different world cultural dances that she’s learning in Zumba class. She’s reacing out to her birthsisters again, albeit in a round-about way. As you noted yesterday, how she’s obviously reading the blogs – after bitching and raving, her tweets turn 180 degrees on how she’s getting healthy and going to Zumba – a clear IMITATION of you. Now, the “world culture” dances – a clear imitation of ME. Because of my past experiences of being a Middle East (belly dancer). She never cared about dance before – only her Native American dances she did as a teenager and in early 20s. And don’t forget – she put me down in her book FOR being interested in the Arab culture. Now SHE is “embracing” other cultures. What a fucking hypocrite!
she goes from calling him a “stalking obsessed creep” to ” My love. New Year will be better for us both. I release you, my love. Good bye my Darling. May you find your true love. She lies within. I move on” – she said she “moved on” the other day – if that was so – she shouldn’t be going back to write this stupid shit.
Gert Mcqueen yep…I WAS DOING zumba 3 years ago! I had to stop due to medicals reasons and turned to biking instead…but I NEVER mentioned that ONLY my yoga, bike, gym…which she NEVER picked up until just now BECAUSE I made a point of saying she’s boring, unhealthy and never speaks about what good in her life. And if she loved native dance WHY hasn’t she been doing it all along? If you love something, you DO IT. she only talked about it because of the SUGAR DADDY like I said, she was crying in her beer…that’s what she does…she can’t get her way, throws a fit, the other person tells her get lost, she gets insulted, finds things to bitch about and then says she’s done with them, and then when the night is dark and she’s alone she laments her LOSS that she created.
end of facebook exchange.
I am not only wanting to puke, but I see the hypocrisy of it all – having been dragged over the coals in her book for MY interest in other ethnic music and dance – to see this bitch now saying it’s the best thing in HER life! As I said above – she looks at her miserable life, finds it lacking, then looks at MY life, debases it – YET COPIES ME! And Gert!
Now I want to examine this statement made by Gert: “then she gets sympathy from others and says oh I’m ok and then in the dark of the night she crys for what she lost asshole” – when she was ranting and bitching about the boyfriend on Twitter, she made statements that she was “afraid of him.” “leave me alone.” called him a “stalking creep” “obsessive” – and a twitter friend of hers up in Toronto says, “been reading your feed, are you okay?” this lady sees what Joan writes and becomes genuinely concerned for Joan’s safety! And what does Joan say? “oh, I’m all right. He’s 2500 miles away.”
WHAT THE FUCK? If she’s “all right” and he’s “2500 miles away” WHY IS SHE WRITING THAT SHE IS AFRAID OF HIM? This is what she does – she EXAGERATES things and puts her whiny little “woe is me, poor, poor pitiful me” routine and manipulates people into feeling sorry for her. So LOOK at what she said about the guy – she’s afraid of him, he’s a stalking, obsessive, alcoholic drunk driver, and he’s coming to get her. – and chances are – he’s probably a sweet guy with a drinking problem. But according to Joan – he’s a monster. AND THIS IS WHY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT ME AND GERT ARE BITCHES – BECAUSE THEY READ JOAN’S SHIT AND BECAUSE SHE’S A MASTER MANIPULATER AND LIAR – AND SHE CAN TURN THE TEARS ON AND OFF – THEY CAN’T BELIEVE THAT HER CRYING IS ONLY AN ACT! – People – she’s a socio-path and knows how to turn the waterworks on. And before anybody recommends that she call the police – please – The Town of Tonawanda (where she lives) already are aware of her and her antics.
Before anybody condemns me for “putting down the mentally ill” and lectures me that I “should have compassion,” – been there, done that. Unless you have been the harassed victim of a mentally ill person – you will not understand. see the home page of this blog. and the page What is Demanded of Joan Wheeler.
Don’t judge me for my anger of Joan Wheeler – until you know all the facts and the hell she has put me through and is STILL doing it – by harassing me by calling my employer a year ago with false accusations designed to get me fired – and just the other day by daring to drag me into her fucked up love life.
And again, we see a mess that Joan herself created. Gert and I had nothing to do with this latest boyfriend, yet Joan drags us into it. So we gave it right back to her. We didn’t start it, but we damn sure finished it. We didn’t ask to be in it, but once we were in it – we went all out. And the mess is all on Joan – I don’t want to hear a word from her that we “interfered” with this shit – IT WAS JOAN HERSELF WHO BROUGHT US INTO IT!
1. gertmcqueen –
Gert here…Perfect assessment of the conditions that Joan does to herself and everyone. There’s nothing more for me to say, but…this is the real Joan Wheeler and if you don’t believe us…get in a REAL PERSONAL relationship with her, NOT on the internet, BUT IN REAL TIME AND PLACE, interact with her in the FLESH and within 2 months you will KNOW.
UPDATE January 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version.
end of update info
Joan Wheeler’s book Forbidden Family is not only libelous, it’s poorly researched. September 15, 2012Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: bigotry, embellishing the truth, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, LIBEL, passing assumptions off as truth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, stupidity
In my post “Why must Joan Wheeler continue to tell lies about her birth family?”, I wrote the following:
Joan Wheeler is constantly saying that our family was “poor” and we lived in a run-down neighborhood. Not so. We did live in a back apartment. So? Some houses are constructed up and down. Front and back. Actually, our apartment was the back AND the whole second floor! Our landlord, Mr. Johnson and his wife had the small one bedroom apartment downstairs in the front.
In the 1950′s and 1960′s, the nieghborhood that we lived in, Smith St. near William St. was vibrant. All along William St. was a bustling shopping district. With a large city playground nearby. There were 2 gas stations, a post office, 3 drug stores, several mom + pop delis, a couple of small variety stores, a liquor store, a butcher store, a large supermarket, a Deco restaurant, and we lived about a mile from Central Terminal, the main hub of railroad passenger and freight service.
I also recently quoted my facebook buddy, Star Trek Troubles with Tribbles author, David Gerrold when he said that “as a writer, 90% of what I do is RESEARCH.”
This is where Joan makes a crucial mistake. She doesn’t do her RESEARCH!
Joan was born in January 1956 and by April 1956, was relinquished to adoption. The final papers were signed in January 1957. During that time, the Wheelers lived on Coit St., near Broadway. Only one block and two and a half blocks up from where we lived on Smith St. After adopting Joan, the Wheelers moved to a newly purchased house in Kenmore, a northern suburb of Buffalo.
We moved to Smith St. in the middle of the block, between Howard St. and William St., somewhere between January 1947 and May 1948. Gert’s birth certificate says the address where mom and dad lived was 650 Genesee St. and Kathy’s gives the address as 824 Smith. St. We lived in a apartment that consisted of a small back yard, with wild elderberry trees and a wild cherry tree. My paternal grandmother made home made elderberry wine. We had a back shed.
Our home consisted of a kitchen with a separate pantry, a small dining room, living room and a small bedroom where mom and dad slept. (And later, dad and our stepmom). We shared a bathroom with our landlord and landlady, the Johnson’s. Then we had the entire upstairs which consisted of a large bedroom in the front of the house, where we 3 girls slept, a large “playroom” that had a small built in closet with shelves, where house linens were stored. (sheets, pillowcases, tablecloths, towels, etc). A smaller section was used as a closet – our bedroom didn’t have one, so Dad made us one – he put together, using plumbing pipes and plumbing joints, a free standing rack for us to hang our dresses on. We had dressers for our other clothing.
On the other side of the playroom, was the entrance to the attic that we shared with the Johnson’s and a small room that used to be a bathroom, but after the ceiling caved in, and the plumbing fixtures removed, it was converted to a bedroom for my brother and stepbrother. They had bunkbeds and I’m not really remembering how their clothes were stored. But I do remember the old medicine cabinet on the wall was used to store the boy’s army figures.
Around 1961, we moved next door to 822 Smith St, because it was a bigger apartment and we had a separate bathroom. In 1965, Dad bought a house and moved to the Delevan/Grider section, right around the corner from the old E.J. Meyer Memorial Hospital (now Erie County Medical Center – ECMC).
As to the Smith St. neighborhood – Joan makes a big deal about it in her book, when in the 1970’s after being reunited with us, she goes to see where we used to live and was dismayed at the run-down neighborhood. But she fails to realize that what she saw in the 1970’s was NOT the way it was in the 1950’s when we lived there. She failed to do her RESEARCH. – So I went and did it for her.
Today, September 15, 2012, my husband John and I were in the main downtown branch of the Buffalo and Erie County Library, where many historical books and maps and documents are kept. It is a treasure trove for anyone interested in the history of Western New York and the birth of Buffalo, which began with the name of New Amsterdam. Years ago, (1996) in researching my present neighborhood, I learned that prior to my house being built in 1910, the whole section was farmland, belonging to the Erb Family Farm.
John and I today went to see the library’s exhibit on the War of 1812. There was a major battle during the War of 1812, when the British crossed over from Canada into the Village of Black Rock and burned almost all of New Amsterdam to the ground.
Many other key battles were fought on Lakes Erie and Ontario. During one overnight battle, our national anthem was written. – remember the lyrics “… gave proof through the night, that our flag was still there.”
During the rebuilding, the name of New Amsterdam was changed to Buffalo. Eventually growing outwards until it encircled the village of Black Rock. Now Black Rock is known as just a neighborhood in Buffalo. – and the exhibit for the War of 1812 in the downtown library has maps and documents, and the corner of where I used to live in the 1970’s with my first husband – Amherst St. and Military Rd., is prominently mentioned. As is the old Pratt and Letchworth steel mill (built in the early 1800’s) where my first husband worked.
Anyway, getting back to my childhood neighborhood, across town on the East Side of Buffalo. Remember where I earlier mentioned a bunch of businesses that I remember as being around where I lived? As long as I was in the library, I went and looked at the 1959 Polk’s City Directory and came away with the following businesses on William St., from Emslie St. down to Fillmore Ave. Our playground was on William St. starting from Fillmore Ave, to almost Coit St. and is not listed in the directory. There were residences on William St, some were separate houses, some were back or upstairs apartments to many of the smaller businesses, and these residences are not listed. I only want to show that when we lived there, it was a thriving busy shopping district.
Emslie St. had our church and school, Sacred Heart, a couple of blocks south from William St. Our paternal grandmother lived on Howard St. near Krettner St, which is only one block from Emslie. So our grandparents lived within walking distance from our house, and we passed it when we went to church or school.
Starting from Emslie St., the businesses that were on William St. in 1959 were:
Loblaws (a large supermarket)
Uni-Tri Furniture + Appliance of Buffalo
M.H. Fishman – 5 and $1.00
National Wholesale Dry Goods
Lombardo Santo Shoes
Krettner St. intersects
E-Z Shopping Center
Floyd Miller Grocery
George Hoffmann Ice Cream
American Washer Service
Murther’s Home Bakery
Buffalo Picture Framing and Mirror Corp.
Community Liquor Store
Aron Goldberg Furniture
Sherman St. intersects
Marine Trust Co. – bank
Alfred Wallpaper and Paint
Citizen’s Fur Service (a furrier? a FURRIER? In a neighborhood that Joan portrays as poor?)
Cadet Cleaners (dry cleaner)
Ray Lippens Restaurant
Smithey’s Barber Shop
Rudolph Frey – butcher
Choice Cut Meat
Stanton St. intersects
E.J. Meyer Hospital Dispensary #2
US Post Office
Fran’s Grill and Restaurant
Lovejoy Loan Association
William St. Market
Ben’s Wholesale Furniture
Furniture Manufacturer Wholesale Outlet
Rothschild Inc – wholesale candy
Matty’s Doughnuts (oh I remember this one!)
Sloan’s Second Hand Store
Wolff’s Furniture Store
Quality Wholesale Tobacco
Smith St. intersects
Bory’s Wallpaper and Paint
Fran + Rocky’s Mobil gas station – (I remember the Mobil Pegasus sign – you could see it from our bedroom window)
Tripi’s shoe repair
Mrs. Lottie Radzikowski Beauty Shop
Thelma’s Drapery Shop
Chandu’s Restaurant (I didn’t know until years later – it was a high class burlesque place!)
Coit St. intersects
Club Polka Restaurant
Holy Trinity Ukrainian Orthodox Church
Sanitary Barber Shop
Detroit St. intersects
Paul Bochynski Barber
Alice’s Restaurant (oh be quiet)
Video Radio Shop
Industrial Steel Products Machinery
Bazaar Ukrainian Art Store
Bazaar Ukrainian Club
Niagara Mohawk Power sub station
Fillmore Ave. intersects
Now it took me all of 10 minutes to write this down at the library and another few minutes to type it all out. So what is Joan’s excuse? Joan with her two college degrees and she can’t even do the basic research for her book.
These pictures show the intersection of William and Emslie in 1910 and 2003. I can’t find any pictures from 1940’s or 50’s. The building that housed the Savoy theatre is still standing, but is vacant. The brown and white structure on the left in the 2003 photo is the YMCA – where our supermarket Loblaws used be. The vacant lot across the street was where Hammond’s Drug Store was. A lot of changes in a hundred years. Some for the bad, some for the good.
Ruth this post is excellent! It proves your great abilities as a researcher and your memory.
>She doesn’t do her RESEARCH! Correct; all of Joan’s research comes from her bigoted adoptive parents and ‘hearsay’ from many birth-relatives, siblings included, where memories are faded and not ‘documented’ while talking to a ‘family’ member. No one KNEW that when they were speaking with Joan from the time we reunited that she was keeping NOTES and writing a book. So the memories of birth family members were then MADE INTO a narrative that fit into Joan’s version of HER STORY. Problem with that way of working is that it is NOT RESEARCH and can not be sold as truth.
>Joan Wheeler is constantly saying that our family was “poor” and we lived in a run-down neighborhood. Not so. Correct; that comes from being raised by snubs that looked down on the birth family, she was raised that way and it comes out of her everywhere
>Wheelers lived on Coit St., near Broadway. Only one block and two and a half blocks up from where we lived on Smith St. After adopting Joan, the Wheelers moved to a newly purchased house in Kenmore, a northern suburb of Buffalo Correct; the Wheeler’s came from the same background and neighborhoods that we all came from but when they moved to the suburbs…well it happens all the time, they are called snobs.
>Gert’s birth certificate says the address where mom and dad lived was 650 Genesee St. and Kathy’s gives the address as 824 Smith. St. Correct.
>and a small room that used to be a bathroom, but after the ceiling caved in, and the plumbing fixtures removed Correct; one of the most exciting memories, we were watching Howdy Doody when the ceiling came down on us and we fled into the kitchen where Mom and Dad were.
>In 1965, Dad bought a house Correct…I married in 65 and never lived in that house.
>when in the 1970’s after being reunited with us, she goes to see where we used to live and was dismayed at the run-down neighborhood Correct; I had the same reaction when I went back to the old neighborhood, but I UNDERSTOOD about urban decay. Joan never sees things in their proper place…only how it will fit into her version and if it doesn’t she makes it fit…that’s called lying.
>Emslie St. had our church and school, Sacred Heart, a couple of blocks south from William St. Our paternal grandmother lived on Howard St. near Krettner St, which is only one block from Emslie. So our grandparents lived within walking distance from our house, and we passed it when we went to church or school Correct; also before we went to Sacred Heart we went to School #40, within walking distance on Pink St off of Smith. And our maternal grandparents lives a few blocks up towards Broadway and Fox St (?) where St Ann’s Church is…I believe our parents were married there and where Kathy and I had received ‘confirmation’. Ruth’s note: I never went to School 40, by the time I got to school age, we started going to Sacred Heart. School 40 is on Clare St., but to get there from our house, you did walk up Pink St. – It was a short distance from our house. In 1981-85, I lived on Townsend St., about a half mile from our old house on Smith. From 1985, 1987, I lived on the corner of Clinton and Clare Sts, only two blocks from School 40. – St. Ann’s is on Broadway near Emslie – Fox St. is in another neighborhood Gert – close to where the old Twin Fair store on E. Ferry was – Fox St. is where Uncle Rich and Aunt Ann lived. — Ruth’s additonal comment and correction of herself:
speaking of NOT RELYING ON PEOPLE’S HEARSAY – Boy did I just do a big oopsey. Gert is talking about FOX St. I was thinking of BOX St.- with a B. I just had a flash when I was just proof-reading all of this – and said to self – “wait a minute – it was BOX St. off of Kehr St, near French near E. Ferry where my stepmother’s good friend Millie lived. – So like a GOOD RESEARCHER DOES – I checked Google Maps – yep, I was wrong – Fox St., with an F – does indeed run by Broadway.
I remember many a Sunday dinner at Grandpa and Grandma’s Herr’s house and how Grandpa Herr had the wooden spoon ready incase any child did not behave right at the dinner table.
Thanks so much for this Ruth, marvelous work! This is why we are writing to restore our lives, our parents backgrounds, our family honor! Joan Wheeler had no business writing any kind of book about our lives and our parents. She still has no right in talking about us and we will continue to speak out against her until she removes all those hate blogs against us.
excellent comment Gert – and you are so right that Joan relied on people’s narratives – which can be faulty. – See how I corrected you about the location of School 40 and where Fox St. is? (readers – you have to remember Gert is older than me, and has not lived in Buffalo since 1982. As I said in my note in the body of the post, I lived a half mile from our old house from 1981. Our house was only demolished in early summer 2011. My house on Townsend was demolished in 2009. Grandma Sippel’s house at 177 Howard was demolished many years ago – and another house with the same address is there now. But I know exactly where the original house was – on the corner of Howard and Bond St. – Krettner ended at Howard only a few houses away. In a house on Bond St., just two doors from the corner lived my brother’s best friend George Fischer – and we used to look out our windows at each and make faces at each other – you know, all the stupid things kids do. School 40 is still there, and is still open. St. Ann’s and Sacred Heart are closed. Sacred Heart school was demolished in 2010. I know where Uncle Rich lived on Fox St., because his daughter, my cousin Nancy lives only a mile and a half from me, and certainly remembers where she grew up. I currently live in the Bailey/Genesee section, just a half mile from Holy Name of Jesus church where my parents were married. Right around the corner on Bailey, used to be School 9 where my mother went to grammer school. Uncle Rich went there too, and tells me how he used to leave school, walk down the street one block over my present house, and walk along the railroad tracks that lead right to his house on Scheu Park – which is only less than a mile from my present house. Because I know the neighborhoods of Buffalo’s East Side, I know what stories are correct. Joan never lived on the East Side – except as an adult, when she lived for a few years in the Broadway/Bailey section. BUT and this is a big but – NOBODY TOLD JOAN THAT WE WERE POOR GROWING UP – nobody that is but her adoptive parents. And stupid Joan, BELIEVED them. Like I said, she didn’t do her own RESEARCH. She relied on older people’s gossip – she listened to their “point of view” and tried to pass it off as truth. She relied on people’s recollection of years past – go back and look at MY own recollection – what did I write? – TWO gas stations? But when I did the RESEARCH – only gas station showed up in the City Directory. Then again, the other gas station is at the corner of William and Fillmore – and the Deco restaurant was next to it -on the southeast corner of William and Fillmore. There has always been a gas starion there – and still is. — When I lived on Townsend St. in the early 80′s – I would buy gas there. Townsend is a one-way street, 2 blocks from Fillmore and ends at William St. Where I lived on Clinton St. – 85-87 – Clare St., where School 40 is – is only one block from Fillmore Ave. – and only two blocks from the funeral home where my mother was laid out. So basically, in the 80′s – I moved back to my childhood neighborhood, and now I live in my mother’s childhood neighborhood. And like I said – I did MY research. When I bought my housein 1996 from our landlord, I went to the library, and saw the old maps from the Holland Land Company – I saw where the old Erb farm ended at Bailey. I had already learned the early history of Buffalo/New Amsterdam and the tribe of Native Americans called the Erie who lived in this section – a long time ago. Joan doesn’t learn these things – to broaden her mind – because despite her having two college degrees, she is ignorant in many things. She has only ONE interest and she bores the hell out of everyone – ADOPTION ADOPTION ADOPTION ADOPTION ADOPTION ADOPTION ADOPTION ADOPTION.
Why must Joan Wheeler continue to tell lies about her birth family? September 7, 2012Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, contradictions, embellishing the truth, false accusations, First Amendment: Free Speech, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, passing assumptions off as truth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, stupidity
In her latest blogpost, “Joan Wheeler continues to believe that adoption is an evil that must be stamped out, even as she lies, some more, about the birth family. Gert says: “So Joan Wheeler will continue on spreading her untruths anywhere she can…but…the birth siblings will also be right there, EXPOSING HER. At some point in time those that are hanging on to her coat tails will ‘let go’ because Joan Wheeler’s reputation is CATCHING UP WITH HER.”
Her latest puppet, who is harassing us at Joan’s request (so she doesn’t get her hands dirty) accused us of “ruining Joan’s reputation.” – not so. We are merely “exposing” her lies.
CNN’s Anderson Cooper’s tagline is “keeping them honest.” Exposing lies of politicians and crooked charities. 60 Minutes has a long history of doing the same thing. What makes Joan so special that HER lies don’t get exposed? Does Joan Wheeler have some sort of special immunity that her lies don’t get exposed? If Joan Wheeler has the freedom of speech to tell a lie in a book and on the internet, then we have the right to expose that lie and replace it with the truth. Especially when that lie is about us and how we lived when we were children. She was born in January 1956, lived with my uncle on Fox St. in Buffalo and NEVER in our apartment on Smith St. She was given to the Wheelers in April 1956. Shortly after that, the Wheelers moved to a nice suburb of Buffalo.
So why is she writing about where WE lived in the 1950’s and 1960’s. Her excuse once was that she wrote about us only when our lives intersected with hers. What happened in OUR lives betweeen 1956 and 1974 (the year we were reunited with her) HAS NEVER INTERSECTED WITH HER LIFE AND SHE HAS NO BUSINESS WRITING ABOUT IT. Doesn’t matter that she used one of her screen names, because she uses Legitimate Bastard, 1Adoptee, Half Orpan56, all the time and leaves clues as to who she is and who we are. Especially when she signs her real name, or “Joan Wheeler, born as Doris Sippel”
We have said before and it should be said again: We have no objection to her fighting her cause about adoption reform. All she has to do is refrain from telling lies about our childhood, and our family. She needs to stop writing lies about the circumstance of her adoption. MY FATHER WAS NOT COERCED INTO GIVING HER FOR ADOPTION! She needs to stop saying that no one came forth to help my father keep her. IT WAS NOT POSSIBLE FOR HIM TO KEEP HER! Again – there were no day-care centers in 1956. Welfare did not exist as it does now. My father had to work. His parents were elderly, could not take care of 5 little kids, one of them being an infant. My mother’s siblings also could not take her in. My father was approached by my aunt, who was childhood friends with the sister of the man who adopted Joan. My father THEN consulted his parish priest. HE WAS NOT COERCED AT MY MOTHER’S WAKE. The final adoption papers were signed in January 1957. My father had ample time to reconsider his decision. He did not. He stuck to his original decision. This is something that Joan Wheeler must accept and live with. So he was greiving when he made his initial decision -the fact remains: HE HAD TEN MORE MONTHS TO RECONSIDER THAT DECISION. AND HE STUCK WITH HIS FIRST DECISION – THAT BEING THAT THE WHEELER’S WOULD BE JOAN’S PARENTS.
ALSO – my father did have a GED for high school. In the early 50’s he went to night school to study drafting, reading blueprints, etc. In 1955 he became employed by the City of Buffalo as Junior Civil Engineer in the Street Paving and Design Department, where he worked until his retirement in 1988. And he made fairly good money.
Joan Wheeler is constantly saying that our family was “poor” and we lived in a run-down neighborhood. Not so. We did live in a back apartment. So? Some houses are constructed up and down. Front and back. Actually, our apartment was the back AND the whole second floor! Our landlord, Mr. Johnson and his wife had the small one bedroom apartment downstairs in the front.
In the 1950’s and 1960’s, the nieghborhood that we lived in, Smith St. near William St. was vibrant. All along William St. was a bustling shopping district. With a large city playground nearby. There were 2 gas stations, a post office, 3 drug stores, several mom + pop delis, a couple of small variety stores, a liquor store, a butcher store, a large supermarket, a Deco restaurant, and we lived about a mile from Central Terminal, the main hub of railroad passenger and freight service. We also lived a couple of miles from the Broadway/Fillmore shopping district that had banks, major shops and stores.
By the 1970’s, yes, the area began to deteriorate. After we were reunited with Joan in 1974, she went to our old neighborhood (we moved in 1965 after my father bought a house). What Joan saw was our old nieghorhood slowly decaying. It’s called “urban blight” and Buffalo is not the only city this happens to. What she saw in the 70’s was NOT what we saw when we lived there. By the 90’s, however, community re-development took charge. Our playground was demolished and a beautiful senior apartment complex arose. Today, there are vast fields where a lot of Buffalo’s oldest housing stock has been demolished. (yes, my childhood home too). These were structures built in the mid-to-late 1800’s. – Joan really should do her homework when she talks about Buffalo’s East Side. The core area where we lived was built for Polish and German immigrants and blacks who migrated from the southern states. In the late 1800’s and early 1900’s, Buffalo was a boom-town. Very different from what it is now.
And as my father’s finances progressed, he put together a down payment and bought a house – the first in his family to own property. The Wheelers had done the same in 1957. Coincidentally, they lived only a few blocks from where we lived! They moved to a hoity-toity suburb of Buffalo (hence Joan’s tendancy to look down on where and how we lived). Well, geez, my uncle, who took Joan in for the first couple of months of her life, lived on Fox St. – another neighborhood that was quite nice in the 50’s and 60’s and sadly, now, is a crummy drug-infested ghetto.
You cannot see a crummy house and think it was crummy from the day it was built – and this is Joan’s mistake. (well one of her mistakes). She also suffers from the prejudicial statements from her adoptive parents who apparently forgot where they came from, because all her life, Joan was told she came from a family that were “too poor to keep her.” Joan was raised as an only child, spoiled rotten. Her mom hand sewed her pretty dresses. She must have used that line as a way to keep Joan grateful to them for adopting her. That was rotten, but that doesn’t give Joan the right to keep on perpetuating that tired old myth – by writing in her book and online that for Christmas 1956 or 1957, her adoptive parents sent over a xmas tree and presents for us!
This is utter bullshit! MY FATHER WORKED FOR THE CITY OF BUFFALO AND MADE GOOD MONEY. In 1956, my father remarried to an Italian lady, who’s mother doted on me. My father’s parents also doted on us. I recently posted on my facebook about how I got started on my love of mythology. My father’s mother gave me, when I was five years old (1957) – a book on Hiawatha. Even though it is a child book, it has some of the original prose of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. – I still have it in my attic. How do I know what year I got it? – cos my grandmother wrote it in the inside cover! It is a quality book – she had to have paid $$$ for it. (see graphics at end of this post). And that’s just only ONE thing. I remember a lot of the toys we had. Even when we lived with our grandparents for a couple of years while my stepmother was ill. – Just as girls today have dolls to learn makeup and hairdos – we had Toni dolls and Breck dolls (sponsored by Breck shampoo and Toni home perms) we had our very own gym set in the back yard on Smith St. not many kids had those. We had the make believe kitchen sets, with running water! (you filled the resevoir in the back). We had the first Easy Bake Oven. My brothers and I had Roy Rogers and Dale Evans cap gun sets. I had a Lucas McCain rifle (tv’s The Rifleman). Davy crockett coonskin hats, Jim Bowie rubber knives. Mickey Mouse Ears and Tinkerbell wands. We had the Visible V8 engine and chemistry sets. Countless paint by number kits and activity books and water color books and sets. I also had a Howdy Doody doll. METAL not plastic dish and tea sets. Stuffed toys. Cars and fire trucks, my stepbrother John had a rubber John Deere tractor! (which he named Basil – go figure!) We had an Elsie the Cow doll.
WE DIDN’T NEED CHARITY FROM THE WHEELERS OR ANYBODY ELSE AND JOAN WHEELER NEEDS TO STOP SAYING THAT BULLSHIT THAT WE RECIEVED IT. In her comments on that site that Gert references in her blog post – Joan also mentions “Catholic Charities.” Yes, our family availed ourselves with their services – AFTER MY STEPMOTHER BECAME ILL! – after Joan was adopted! I don’t know what kind of health insurance my father had back then, but I suspect he had the same problems back then as most families have today. Raising a family of 5 kids is expensive! And in those days, it was NOT the norm for the wife to work. So we were a one-income family, with the added burden of illness. Doctor and other bills to pay. My stepmother was mentally ill and an alcoholic. What Catholic Charities provided for us was social work. NOT monetary contributions. By 1959, when my stepmother was placed in the psych center, we were sent to a foster home and an orphanage. Again, I don’t know the financial obligations of all of that – but I think you have to pay some sort of child support, plus there was the doctor and hospital bills for my stepmother. But even in the foster home, there was still plenty of ample food, clothes and toys. And as I said, in 1965, my father bought a house, taking on a second job as a salesman at Sears. Teenagers in the 60’s were just as expensive then as they are today! But we were NOT poor!
And as far as Joan quoting my father as saying “if I had more education…” blah blah blah – my father was a carpenter. After he bought his house in 1965, he did extensive remodeling. He built a bedroom in the basement! Do you know how much money carpenters make? My father could have taken that route for a career. (and I do not consider it a menial job at all – to create things with your hands is hardly menial. FYI – one of today’s greatest actors – Harrison Ford worked as a carpenter.- if carpentry is good enough for Han Solo and Indiana Jones, then I’m proud of my dad too!) And don’t forget – Jesus was a carpenter too, having learned the craft from his father Joseph.
So why is Joan NOT proud of the man who gave her the greatest gift of all? – HER OWN LIFE? No, all she can do is write put-down after put-down of him – and us.
AND THAT NEEDS TO STOP. And until she does – this blog, and Gert’s blog will be right here, taking Joan’s bullshit and telling the truth of us and our family.
I didn’t feel like going up to the attic and dragging my copy of Hiawatha down and taking pictures of it – I did find it on google. Apparently it was a 1951 edition, adapted by Allen Chaffee and illustrated by Armstrong Sperry. This is no “Little Golden Book.” This is large – larger than your average 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper. This is an old friend of mine, along with my Heidi book, another present from my grandmother – which I also still have.
1. gertmcqueen –
Right on Ruth!!! Our lives and our family’s lives, our friends, our lovers, our husbands, our children, where and how we lived and any minor or major aspect of our lives have been EXPOSED EXPLOITED AND LIED ABOUT by Joan Wheeler. We shall never stop in exposing these lies and righting our honor. People don’t like it, that’s just too bad.
you dam right Gert – if I, Ruth Pace, want to talk about MY childhood – that is my right! anybody got a problem with that? stuff it.
I know what MY life is and was – Joan was NOT there! She knows NOTHING about my life. And I have a dam good memory! I have what is called an eidetic memory – that means I remember things in details. I can remember colors, smells, actual words, the weather, I remember events like my father walking me to Sacred Heart School for a Halloween party – which must have been Halloween 1958. I remember the Christmas party in Sacred Heart’s downstairs gymnasium, around 1958 as well – I actually remember eating a tangerine and walnuts! I remember the Halloween party at the orphanage 1959 – I remember the black and orange crepe paper draping from the cieling, and bobbing for apples. I remember the school year recital at the orpanage where me and my brother Butch tapdanced to the tune of – well I don’t know the title of the song but it went “H-A-Double R -I, G-A-N spells Harrigan.” I remember seeing the 7th Voyage of Sinbad in the auditorium of the orphanage, a first run film, for the kids at the orphan home!
I remember bringing home the living room lamps with my stepmother and stepbrother. She carried the lamps – decorated with antique cars, and me and John each carried a shade. We got them from the S+H green stamp redemption center on the fifth floor of downtown’s Hens + Kelly store.
I KNOW WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN MY CHILDHOOD AND IF I WANT TO BLOG ABOUT – I WILL.
And if Joan and her deluded friends don’t like it – they can go you-know-where!
Joan Wheeler needs to stop spreading the same old gossip and lies her adoptive mother filled her head up with. April 16, 2012Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, dishonesty, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, false accusations, gossip, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, impetigo, Lies, passing assumptions off as truth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths
On Sunday, April 15, 2012, on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum, Joan writes this following comment:
Re: Race, Religion, and Rescue in Adoption: Conference, NYC, October 2012
« Reply #3 on: Yesterday at 04:47:03 PM »
My adoptive mother always rescued orphans — baby birds, baby rabbits, puppies, kittens — she was raised in an orphange. It made her feel good to take in “strays”. And, no doubt, she loved animals and the other children she helped raise. I was the only one adopted. Yeah, there was that certain outlook in our home. At one point, Mom threw it in my face that “When we got you, you had sores all over your body!” And she said it with such sarcastic, rub it in your face kinda tone. Alright, I was an infant of 4 months, was that MY fault? Did that mean they rescued me?
On March 25, 2010, I blogged about this crap in my post “Joan tells a vicious lie about her own godparents on page 319 of Forbidden Family” Here is an excerpt of that post:
On page 319, Joan writes: “I also suffered through inconsistency of primary care as my mother lay dying in a hospital room. When I was released from the hospital my godparents took me in. As my adoptive mother told me, when I was four months old my father handed me over to them in family court. They took me home and were shocked to find body sores. My godparents, I was told by my adoptive mother, didn’t take good hygienic care of me in the few weeks they had me. My new parents nursed me back to health and made me feel guilty for it years later. “You had sores all over your body when we got you!” Mom yelled at me. I never understood why she yelled at me as I grew up. She made me feel as if it were my fault. Perhaps I should feel grateful that I was saved.”
On Friday, March 19, 2010, at 8pm, I spoke on the phone with my uncle, who was Joan’s godfather and who took care of her while my mother was in the hospital. My uncle says that Joan had impetigo, and she had them when she was discharged from the hospital. He told me his wife did everything she could to clear up the rash, and was just getting a hold of it, when my father came for Joan and gave her to the Wheelers. My uncle said, “Ann raised 4 children and did the best job. She took good care of Joan.” My uncle was outraged to hear this lie about him and his late wife. He also told me he had already fired off an email to Joan to “straighten her out.”
So once again, we see how Joan takes something that was told to her and instead of researching it, repeats the lie. She has had many opportunities in the past to ask our uncle if this story was true. But then again, could we have trusted Joan to tell the truth? No, because we see again and again, that Joan interprets facts to support her conclusions about things, if not outright lying about things.
Joan does say in her book and on the internet that her adoptive mother told her this nonsense about her having “body sores.” But does she tell her readers the truth of this gossip mongering? Does she defend her birth-uncle? NO! But all over her book and on the internet, she’s admonishing both her birth and adoptive families for gossip mongering!
She may have said on page 319 of her book that it was her adoptive mother that told her this crap – but she doesn’t follow through with THE TRUTH! And leaves her readers thinking this was the truth – when it wasn’t! Readers of her both her book and this latest retelling of this gossip on the adoptee forum, will leave with the impression that my uncle and his wife didn’t take good care of Joan while she lived with her. This is poor writing at best, and at worst, leaves the reader believing a piece of trashy gossip. Nice going Joan, I though all over your book you don’t like gossip mongering. I thought your book was the truth.
By leaving that vital piece of information out, Joan’s book is NOT the truth – and the result? My uncle was livid when I told him what was in the book. And he wants nothing more to do with her. She was kicked off his facebook page, and just recently his daughter, who just hadn’t gotten around to it before, kicked Joan off her facebook page.
So I suppose I will get the blame there. Of course, as usual, Joan does or says something stupid, insults people and gets them mad at her. And as usual, Ruth will get the blame. Yes, yes, it was Ruth who told her uncle and cousin what was in the book, so I am guilty of reporting it. But am I guilty of writing that gossip in the first place? NO! But Joan, in her diseased mind, will NOT take responsibility for her own actions. She will stew about her uncle and cousin not wanting contact with her, and think to herself, “It’s Ruth’s fault. She told them.” Never mind that they can read English and find that shit out for themselves. Everything all boils down to being Ruth’s fault. Ruth does nothing – but it’s all her fault.
That adoptive mother of Joan’s was a sick individual – she talked trash about us – the birth family and Joan came away believing it. And if she “re-writes” her book and explains that she had impetigo from the hospital – she had better give me credit for it – because as of March 2010, it was ME who reported the truth, and my uncle will not have told her about it – because he wants nothing more to do with her. And if the re-write contains this truth – it will show that she was NOT forthcoming with the truth in the first edition – which means all her statements that her book is a truthful account — FALSE!
And Joan, on her web page, wants to impress people with her ‘not harming people’!!! What a laugh!! Joan doesn’t have a decent bone in her body. All she can do is repeat lies and negative impressions about people, in this case, the birth family. Apparently Joan never was taught that ‘if you don’t have a nice thing to say about someone…keep your mouth shut’.
The birth family’s exposing of Joan’s words and deeds is just that….EXPOSING…the hate, the anger, the negativity that Joan has for any one who opposes her view…she is a very dangerous, vile person. We will continue to point out all these hateful words from Joan’s mouth until she learns to speak with dignity and respect of the birth family.
this particular lie and the retelling of it, is not only disgusting but it proves that Joan has no regard for those, birth relatives, that took care of her. Joan ought to hang her head in shame.
if she has a beef with the adoptive mother, say so, but Joan needs to stop repeating hateful, lies about people that are blood relatives.
Joan Wheeler FINALLY announces the demise of her book Forbidden Family, but still shows evidence of her silly delusions December 8, 2011Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, Americans for Open Records, AMFOR, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, dishonesty, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, LIBEL, Lies, Lori Corangelo, mental illness, mental instability, misrepresenting one's credentials, passing assumptions off as truth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity
I revised the front page of this blog on December 5 + 6, 2011. In that post, I described what Joan has on her tab “About and Buy.” on her website. On December 8, 2011, Joan renamed that tab to say only “About” and wrote the following:
“Forbidden Family has been taken off the market by Trafford Publishing as of May 2011.
It was a short run, but well worth it.
I believe in my book and future success.
The book is not dead, only sleeping while another opportunity is sought.”
First off, she doesn’t say WHY Trafford took her book off the market. Why not Joan? Got something to hide? Like the very TRUE reason it was taken off the market – for slander and libel and using a photograph that you didn’t have the copyright of.
If someone is going to make a statement like this bullshit – and she says she believes in her book, she would tell her blog readers WHY the book is not on the market. But like the master manipulator Joan is, she will tell only PART of the story. She won’t tell the TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. Just little bits and pieces of sound bites.
She can say her book is only sleeping, and it’s not dead,but she’s only fooling herself and her blog readers. As to using the phrase her book is not dead – we see evidence that Joan is reading our blog, because it was here that we say the book is dead. And we see more evidence of her delusions. It only took her seven months to admit that the book has pulled from publication. The book IS dead. She claims that the short run of her book was “well worth it?” Worth having the entire world know what Joan’s true lying nature is and exposed? Joan may “believe” in her book – that is because Joan “believes” her delusions. She DID write in her book that in 1993 she was granted a one year order of protection against me. I have submitted on this blog the actual court document that says it was for six months. Joan says in her book that I was arrested, and placed on probation in 1993. I have submitted actual court documents on this blog that show that is a falsehood, slander and libel.
Joan continues to insist that she changed names in her book to protect identities. No, she changed only SOME names and kept her own name Joan Wheeler in the book. She put on the back of the book, a family photograph that clearly shows my father’s face. AND she names him by his correct name of SIPPEL. My father worked in City Hall and was well known. In his second wife’s funeral guest book, and his mother’s funeral guest book are the signatures of two prominent local politicians. My father’s colleagues and many other people knew that he had given up one daughter for adoption. This was no secret in the 1950’s and 1960’s. Further, Joan wrote an article called “The Secret is Out,” that was published in England and Holland in the early 1990’s. In this article, she gave out the correct names of ME and one of my sisters. In her book Forbidden Family, she referenced this article and where it was published, and named the publication. It is available, so any person with any reasonable amount of intelligence could read her book, find her original article and find MY real name, which is sullied in Joan’s book as a criminal, a computer hacker with my employer, and other disgusting detrimental claims to my good name and character.
Joan says that we sisters identified ourselves first on our blog – no we did not. I started my blog late November 2009. Her book had already come out in the beginning of November 2009. The book Forbidden Family was already offered for sale by Trafford Publishing BEFORE I started my blog. And in September 2008, on a now-defunct Blogger blog, Joan identified her birth sisters. A full year before the book was published and my blog was started.
I started this blog as the direct result of two internet sites that Joan publicized her “new” book – the first one was actually an interview/article by ABC.com titles “Adoptees face Sting of Discrimination.” In that article, Joan was interviewed and she put forth many falsehoods, both in the body of the interview/article and in 5 or 6 additional comments. I submitted comments refuting her statements, but they were not accepted. On another website, called “The Daily Bastardette”, was a piece promoting Joan’s book. In that article, there was a falsehood, put forth by Joan, and published by the website’s owner Marley Greiner. I submitted a comment, refuting what Joan told Ms. Greiner. Ms. Greiner did not publish my comment. I was frustrated, because Joan was able, via these two sources, and her own new wordpress website called Forbidden Family to get out her lies and misrepresentations of my family, but I could not get out the truth. So I began this blog. I had known that Joan had a blog on google’s blogspot for some time, but never paid much attention to it. I did see the warning that she put out in September 2008 to the Wheeler clan, the Herr clan and The Three Sippel Sisters to “leave her alone,” although nobody was bothering her. I made screen shots of that warning, but did nothing else. I ignored the little child.
Apparently, sometime in the summer of 2009, when her book was going to press, she built her wordpress blog and titled it Forbidden Family and began to promote her new book. She transferred all her files from the blogger blog to the new wordpress blog. In October 2009, on Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement, Joan wrote a blog post about Yom Kippur, but got some things wrong. As it turns out, my sister Kathy, converted to Judaism several years ago. She wrote a comment on Joan’s blog, a very nice comment, but it corrected Joan in the points she got wrong. Joan graciously accepted the comment for publication, and even left a nice note, something along the lines “I knew someday we would re-connect.” The two comments stayed on her blog for a few days, when all of a sudden, with no action taken from either me, or Kathy, Joan turned 180 degrees (this is very typical of her) and accused Kathy and me of spying on her, and getting her blogger blog shut down. ???? What? — and then she dragged Gert into it.
Gert had not been on the internet AT ALL! She had a computer at home, for personal work, did not have internet access, didn’t go to public computers for such. Kathy was brand new to the internet. With a brandnew computer, wasn’t internet savvy enough NOT to leave her private email containing her name, on the comment she put on Joan’s blog. Joan then emailed her and bitched her out! For nothing! Kathy was upset, and rightfully so. She complained to WordPress, she said that 1. she only corrected some points about the Jewish religion that Joan had gotten wrong, and 2. why was the webhost (Joan) emailing her and threatening her. WordPress went in and took down the post about Yom Kippur, and all comments as well. Joan became enraged! She left a nasty post saying she was not going to be censored. She went out and BOUGHT a website from StartLogic and began building a new Forbidden Family website, and transferred all her files from her wordpress blog over there. And then closed down her blogger blog and wordpress blog – but then said that it was The Three Sippel Sisters who closed her down. Which is a big fat lie. She closed those blogs down HERSELF.
That happened in September, October and the beginning of November 2009. I was not involved AT ALL with the Yom Kippur postings, nor was Gert. But I was sympathetic with Kathy. And I began this blog, the third week of November. I originally titled it, “Refuting Joan Wheeler’s statements about her Forbidden Family.” I ordered the book from Amazon.com the first week of December 2010, and received it a few days later. I opened the book and just glanced at it and saw many lies. I was disgusted. Since this blog had already been started, I went in and changed the title to Refuting the Book Forbidden Family. Her book came out BEFORE I started this blog. So Joan had done the damage BEFORE my blog was in existence.
Joan also keeps insisting that she had the right to publish MY family photograph on the back of her book. NO, she does not, did not have that right. Joan says on her website that she spoke to a literary attorney. If she did, she misled them, just as she misled Trafford Publishing. Joan signed a contract with Trafford Publishing in 2009, but in 2011, when they saw the actual court documents, and what I outlined in the above paragraph, THEIR attorneys agreed that Joan VIOLATED their rules of conduct of authors.
The photograph in question is of my parents, me, and my 3 siblings. It was taken in 1955. Joan was not born until January 1956. She was not in the photograph. This photograph was widely distributed among relatives in the 1950’s and 1960’s. I don’t care where or when Joan was given a PAPER COPY of this photograph. Joan says that in the photograph, our mother was pregnant with her. We have no proof of that. She looks fat. But that’s not the point. Joan was NOT A LEGAL ENTITY UNTIL SHE WAS BORN ON JANUARY 7, 1956. IN THE WINTERTIME! The photo was taken in the summer or early fall 1955. Joan did not legally exist when the photograph was taken, therefore, she does NOT OWN THE SOLE COPYRIGHTS TO THAT PHOTOGRAPH.
One of the articles in the contract that Joan signed with Trafford Publishing was that “the author is the SOLE COPYRIGHT OWNER OF THE WORK AND ALL ITS CONTENTS.” In order to publish that photograph, Joan needed the permission of those pictured in the photograph. She claims on her website that “no permissions were needed to use this photo.” – WRONG! Because this photo was being put on a work that was to be used for MONETARY INCOME, Joan did indeed NEED TO GET PERMISSION FROM ALL LIVING PERSONS IN THE PHOTOGRAPH. She “claims” she had our father’s permission. I want to see his signature, and it had better have been notarized, because if it wasn’t -it doesn’t prove a thing – because Joan has been known to forge things.
I am in that photo, as well as my sisters, and Joan DID NOT GET OUR PERMISSION IN WRITING OR ORALLY to publish OUR likeness on a vehicle for her to make money. Joan in the past has tried to skip around the issue by saying the faces were blurry and obscured by text. WRONG! The faces are not that blurry, and text does obscure faces of my mother, my brother, and my two sisters. BUT MY FATHER’S FACE AND MY FACE ARE CLEARLY VISIBLE. Since my likeness has been placed on a body of work that garnered income for Joan Wheeler, WITHOUT MY PERMISSION – I hereby demand my share of all monetary sums from all sales of the book Forbidden Family in the years 2009, 2010, 2011.
Many people in the Buffalo area know my father, they know his last name, they know my mother’s maiden name, which is given out in the book. That photograph is well known by many people. We have a large family, and everybody knows who Joan Wheeler is. Joan had her picture published in The Buffalo News,with her full name given out – and she spoke about adoption. The following week, my father was interviewed by The Buffalo News and spoke about her adoption. In the interview HIS FULL REAL NAME, ALONG WITH HIS PHOTOGRAPH was published.
Because of her many years of writing articles for The Buffalo News and other places, Joan’s name and circumstances of her adoption have been well publicized. On the internet, BEFORE the book was published, Joan herself was using a name that DID NOT LEGALLY BELONG TO HER! She wrote many opinion pieces throughout the internet on adoption, using the signature “Joan Wheeler, born Doris Sippel.” – Therefore, she gave out MY legal maiden name BEFORE the book was published.
In 1980, both Joan and I appeared on a locally produced human interest news story about adotion reunion. We were interviewed by reporter Rich Kellman and the half-hour show was televised on WGRZ-TV of Buffalo, New York. In this interview, we both gave our names, she as Joan Wheeler, and me as Ruth Sippel. Our faces were not concealed. Neither Joan, nor I, were paid any moneys for this televised appearance.
Many people know me, and know that I have an adopted-out younger sister that I was reunited with, and they know her name as Joan Wheeler. Many people have known that for the last 30 years Joan wheeler has been writing this book. Therefore, when that book came out, and Joan started publicizing it on the internet, and it was available for sale, someone sees it, sees the author “Joan Wheeler,” sees the photograph, and knows that photograph – they can know EXACTLY who Joan is writing about. Whether she changed ALL the names or only SOME of the names.
Also, Trafford Publishing puts out a guideline for authors. One of the guidelines says, “even if you change names, if someone can recognize themselves in your book, you can be sued for slander and libel.”
In a recent correspondence with Gert McQueen, Americans for Open Records Lori Corangelo says in defense of Joan: “first time wrtiers make mistakes.” oh – well! First time drunk drivers who kill people make mistakes too. riiight.
Excuse me Lori, these are NOT “mistakes” that Joan did. She was given a specific contract with Trafford. She signed that contract KNOWING FULL WELL SHE WAS MISLEADING THEM. And when their attorneys learned the TRUTH of the matter – they pulled that filthy book from publication. It IS DEAD.
It has been listed as available on amazon.com. But – it is a “print on demand” situation. Once the original print run was exhausted, any new orders via amazon would be printed and sent to the buyer. BUT just two months ago, in a conversation with Trafford PUblishers, it was revealed that Trafford has pulled the book from even that status. They know that book is LEGAL TROUBLE for them and want nothing more to do with it. Amazon is a mostly automated site. It is going to list 3 copies as a come-on – a “bait and switch.” There is more to this story and will be posted next week. We have just been busy. We have several blog posts waiting to get up.
People need to learn once and for all that Joan Wheeler is a con-artist. She is a consumate liar. She could sweet talk and charm even Adolf Hitler! She will only tell a literary attorney and/or agent what they need to know to approve her work. She did it to Trafford. And as soon as they found out that she conned them – they pulled the plug on her. Lori, are you stupid or what?
Joan – remember – you can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time. And your days of fooling people are over! You can keep on insisting your book is the “truth” and keep on ignoring actual Buffalo City Court Documents and YOUR OWN HANDWRITTEN LETTERS TO ME AND OTHERS that prove otherwise.
For Joan to LIE about past police and court documents, even her own handwritten letters shows just how mentally disturbed and brain dead Joan Wheeler really is. I am begging someone reading this blog, to please, please, get Joan to a place where she clearly needs to be – The Buffalo Psychiatric Center.
LORI CORANGELO AND OTHERS: I think you’d better read this: from the pdf. file of Trafford’s Publishing’s “Terms and Conditions.” These are the Terms and Conditions that Joan Wheeler agreed to when she signed (under false pretenses) her contract with Trafford and the ones that she VIOLATED – she had hate speech in her book, obscene language, had me saying things that I didn’t, labeled me as a computer hacker with a criminal record and used MY photograph.
2. YOUR LEGAL RESPONSIBILITY
2.1. You represent that you are the sole copyright owner of the Work and all of its content.
2.2. You represent that the Work does not infringe upon any statutory or common law right of copyright, libel or privacy of any third party.
2.4. You further represent that the Work does not contain illegal, unlawful or objectionable material including, but not limited to, pornography, obscenity or hate speech. You acknowledge that the Work is not plagiarized and does not include falsely attributed statements of third parties.
3.(Trafford’s Legal Responsibility
3.2. We reserve the right to refuse to provide and/or to discontinue ALL Services upon our discovery of any violation by you of these Terms and Conditions, any other actions, omissions or misconduct by you with respect to Work, and/or your performance under these Terms and Conditions. In the event a complaint is made by a third party regarding the Work, we reserve the right to suspend the Services in accordance with Section 7.1 until such time as the complaint is satisfactorily resolved, as determined by us in our sole discretion.
Tell us again Lori of how Joan made a “mistake” – you are full of shit, and so is Joan.
Comment by Gert McQueen:
This is very very interesting, indeed!!
As Ruth says:
“There is more to this story and will be posted next week. We have just been busy. We have several blog posts waiting to get up.”
There is definetly true! There is so much more to the story of Joan’s lying book and it’s DEATH! Stay tuned!
Make no mistake…the book, as she wrote it, is DEAD, it will never be republished. And…if she EVER writes another, she had better NOT mention the names and lives of the birth family…we give NO PERMISSION, for her to earn money off our names and lives.
Furthermore, we shall be always watching her to make sure she NEVER LIES ABOUT US AGAIN.
Thank you Ruth for giving such a detailed clarification of the time line of when Joan published, on the internet and in print, lies about us, and when we got involved.
For the record…I had no knowledge of what Joan was doing, nor did I care, for years…I had about 3 contacts with her since 1980 and each one was used AGAINST ME by her.
In Dec of 2009 I was in the middle of a physical move when both Ruth and Kathy called me telling me that Joan published the book! I did not get to see a physical copy until late Jan 2010. I then got an email account and started emailing my posts to Ruth for her blog. It wasn’t until July 2011, when Ruth had a injury, did I get a blog of my own. In the past two years I have learned and read many many things that Joan has done that I was not aware of before but now that I am I shall make sure that everyone knows about them.
So Joan and anyone else out there that wants to believe in their own bullshit, be my guest and continue to lie to yourselves! But, truth wins out and liars are always shown for what they are!
If Joan is waiting for another opportunity she is going to wait for a long long time. Her story has been written and her history is NOW known. Any other book written by Joan will be looked at very carefully, believe me. Her book is not sleeping, it’s dead. Joan doesn’t understand the difference. Once a liar always a liar and anyone who thinks they can get another book published by that liar had better understand the nature of libel…it always follows you.
Beware of helping Joan Wheeler, you could find yourself in a law suit.
Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler Chapters 22, 23, and 24 pages 222 – 257 – REFUTED! – Part 2 by Ruth Pace March 25, 2011Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, bigotry, contradictions, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, misrepresenting one's credentials, misrepresenting one's employment, passing assumptions off as truth, passing speculations off as truth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, religious intolerance, speculation, spreading untruths, stupidity, trailer parks, whining
I agree, more whining, more digs aimed at her birth sisters.
She starts out the chapter by saying that prayer and meditation from an aunt and uncle helped strengthen her spirituality. Influenced her in inner healing. Really? I don’t see much evidence to this. Her spirituality? To what? To have that confidence in one’s own spirituality that there is no need to trash another person’s religion? HA! We see Joan trashing the Catholic Church left and right and her sisters’ (me and Gert) Neo-Pagan paths. Inner healing? HA! All over the book and to this day, Joan writes about her tormented inner life.
On page 222, she relates how she saw two Liverpool, England musicians in concert in Buffalo, New York. These 2 people knew our sister Kathy in Liverpool. Joan writes, “I wondered why Edith (Kathy) didn’t take me to see them in Liverpool.” Oh whine.
Well, let’s see, why didn’t Kathy take her to see them? Does Joan mean to see them perform or see them socially? As the poor writer that she is, she doesn’t make the distinction. But there are lot’s of reasons why Kathy didn’t take her to “see” them. Maybe they weren’t performing when Joan was there. Maybe they were out of the country, performing in Germany maybe. Maybe one of them had the flu. Maybe one of them had a death in the family! Did Joan ever bother to ask Kathy? And maybe put the dam TRUTH in her book? NO! And quite frankly WHO GIVES A SHIT? And what does this have to do with Joan’s adoption, Joan’s adoption reunion, and Joan’s adoption reform work? NOTHING!
This is an example of why this book is a piece of shit! The book is peppered with these kinds of questions! Questions from Joan’s tormented mind – but she never gives her readers the TRUTHFUL answers to these questions. Joan just loves to SPECULATE on people’s motives of their day to day lives. She should stop that shit and pay attention to her own miserable life. Maybe put into practice what Aunt Helen and Uncle Dom were trying to tell her.
But Joan doesn’t want to do that – she doesn’t bother to do proper research – and tell the truth. It’s much easier to write a speculative question, because it’s a clever ploy – to show that Kathy was a negligent bitch to Joan – she didn’t take Joan to see a couple of musicians. You know, Kathy knows a lot of musicians in England, seeing as she is a musician herself. So Kathy is supposed to take Joan to meet every single musician that she knows. On the outside chance that they may travel to the States and perform in Buffalo. Yes, everyone on the planet must plan their lives to please Joan. Introduce her to EVERY person they know because if they don’t, she will feel slighted and insulted and whine about it in her book. And it’s a clever ploy to put another insulting dig against one of her birth sisters without the reader being aware of what she is doing.
On page 244 Joan writes this about me: “Brenda (me) was a big comfort. She loved baby Aaron (Joan’s son) and came to see us often.” Remember this when she writes all over the internet how I hate her kids. Notice how Joan contradicts herself left and right – that’s because she can’t stick to the TRUTH!
Another thing she likes to do is LIE about me concerning her kids is that I am jealous of her because she has two kids and I am infertile. In June 1985, I suffered a miscarriage, after several years of trying to conceive. Yet, she writes that I’m taking her son to outings in 1985. And both of her kids to the beach in 1989 and 1990. She just can’t stick to one story.
On page 248, she writes about the backlash of her doing an interview in the newspaper on adoption and getting a few facts wrong. This topic is covered in Gert’s post and I have already written about it. But she says on page 248 “There was no one to help me cope with my feelings, except my year-old son.” Um, what was I? Chopped Liver? I thought she said that I came to visit her often! She didn’t say between page 244 and 248 that we suddenly stopped speaking to each other.
On page 253, summer of 1985, she writes, “Brenda and I frequently took 18-month-old Aaron on outings.” Later on in the book, in the years 1988-90, she says the same thing, as we did go to the beach a lot with her kids. But on the internet, on The Huffington Post, she said that she didn’t have a relationship with me for more than three decades. Do the math people: 3 decades = 30 years. 2011 minus 30 is 1981. But it’s right there in black and white on page 244 we’re at the beach in 1984, and on page 253, we’re taking her son to outings in the summer of 1985.
On page 252 she relates how she goes to Charleston, South Carolina to visit her husband, who had gone there for a better job. She says she wasn’t impressed with the city. Well, she is entitled to her opinion, but on page 257, she states she didn’t like the houses in Charleston, because they were “poorly made with staples instead of nails.” What? She is a construction expert? Let’s see, she made this expert opinion in 1985. In 1989, Hurricane Hugo blew into Charleston. While two-thirds of the city’s houses suffered varying degrees of damage (Wikipedia), the city was not leveled. So I guess Joan’s expert assessment on building codes goes in the trash.
Joan goes on to say that her husband suggested a double-wide trailer. She writes: “Bad enough we were already poor; I didn’t want to live in a trailer park to become trailer trash. Maybe that was his goal, but it wasn’t mine.“
Trailer Trash? Trailer Trash? Where does she get off putting people living in trailer parks as trash? What a disgusting, stereotypical, discriminatory thing to say. Does she forget that her own birth brother and his wife, lived in a trailer park when they first moved to Arizona?
In a comment to my post What is the REAL reason behind Joan Wheeler’s rant on the Huffington Post? March 9, 2011, Gert listed the National Association of Social Workers Code of Ethics, “Social Workers’ Ethical Responsibilities to Clients.”
In Item 07 – Privacy and Confidentiality article d, we find the following:
Social workers should act to prevent and eliminate domination of, exploitatin of, and discrimination against any person, group, or class on the basis of race, ethnicity, national origin, color, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, age, marital status, political belief, religion, immigration status, or mental or physical disability.
Joan likes to spout off and brag that she is a “social worker,” but in her usual contradictory self, she also says she is “unemployed, due to disabilities.” If she’s unemployed, then she is NOT a social worker. She also brags that she is a member of the National Association of Social Workers.
WELL, in her putdown of people living in trailer parks, she is in violation of that code where it says “Social workers should act to prevent and eliminate ….discrimination against any ….CLASS…”
Okay, it talks about social workers and their clients, which Joan doesn’t have any clients, because she’s not working, but if Joan is feeling this in her heart and personal life, how would she treat a client if she had any? Just how would she treat a client that lived in a trailer park, considering she considers people living in trailer parks as trash. Perhaps we should count our blessings that Joan is NOT a working social worker – she’d be very detrimental to her clients with her bigoted way of thinking – and heaven help any client who ADOPTED a child. Yes, yes, I’m indulging in a bit of speculative thinking myself – but we all know dam well what Joan would do. It’s right there in her book – she has chronciled herself putting down people in meetings, classrooms, her own professors and classmates while getting her social work degree, even the Association of Social Workers. I guess I’m not really speculating after all – just telling the truth, using Joan’s own words from her own trashy book. After all, it’s right there in black and white on page 257: trailer trash.
The Social Worker’s Code also doesn’t include a client’s income, but it does say CLASS, which in this case would be poor people. And Joan already said that her and her husband and year old son were POOR, so in other words, she was putting herself down.
After Joan puts down residents of trailer parks, Joan then says “I wanted a better life.” I can’t fault her there. Everybody wants a better life. That’s why they GET OFF THEIR ASS AND GET A JOB! TO WORK TOWARDS THAT BETTER LIFE!
In writing about her birth brother in 2003, when the family goes to Arizona for his funeral, Joan writes in her book about how “rich” he and his wife were. No, they weren’t “rich,” they were upper middle class. And their beautiful house was the reward of years of WORKING AT JOBS!
In 1976, when my brother and his wife moved to Arizona, they filed for bankruptcy, sold their belongings, packed up their little Toyota Corolla, and drove across the country in search of their better life. And through hard work, they achieved it. And yes, at first they lived in a TRAILER PARK! And they weren’t TRASH! But again, as we see over and over and over again throughout this TRASHY book, Joan M. Wheeler puts down her birth family as trash. The only trash from the Sippel family is Joan herself and her book.
Joan doesn’t want ADOPTEES to be discriminated against – yet turns around and says this discriminatory statement against residents of trailer parks.
My first apartment in 1971, was a room in a boarding house. I was working as a cashier for Twin Fair, a K-Mart type store. I then roomed with an older woman, while I took classes in 1972 to become a nurses aide in September 1972. In early 1973, I moved back to my father’s house to help out with the kids, while working full time nights at the hospital, where 38 years later, I am still working. During 1973 and into 1974, I saved my money and in May 1974, I got my first real apartment. In 1975, I moved into a larger apartment with my first husband, and each subsequent apartment was a bit nicer than the last. In May 1987, my present husband and I moved into a rented HOUSE, which in 1996, we bought off the landlord.
I’m also looking for the “better life.” And am working towards it. My husband and I are secure in our house, doing renovations as time and money permits. Our long term plans are to have the renovations done in about 10 years, and then turn our attention to the acquiring and landscaping of the empty lot next to us.
What’s Joan doing? Living in fantasyland. Waiting for a movie to made out of her trashy book. Sorry Joan, not even Oprah is going to feature this trashy book on Oprah’s Book Club – because when she sees how you put down trailer people, she’s going to see you for what you are – a bigot, and a liar. Someone who puts down and insults and lies about her own birth family. And don’t even try to ride in on the adoption coattail – just because Oprah recently introduced her adopted out birth sister to the world. Oprah isn’t stupid, nor is most of the world – we all see Joan for what she is.
And what will Joan do? Now that her meal ticket is gone.
addendum: March 26, 4:40am. by Ruth Pace
The following is from an adoptee forum. And I have a question for the author: Romany, have you Deeply Read the above and what your buddy Joan has said about poor people being TRASH?
Title: Re: Single mother’s…Thanks Huckabee for your insight..
Post by: Romany on March 06, 2011, 03:17:35 PM
The trouble is – people like him divide the world into “good” (educated, moral, productive, financially sound) and “not good” (uneducated, immoral, unproductive, poor). There are no educated, immoral, productive, poor people just as there are no uneducated, moral, unproductive, financially sound people – or any other combination. The “good” people have all the “good” attributes and the “not good” people have nothing. Morality (his version) leads to good things and immorality (his version) leads to bad things because that’s what his god tells him.
And according to her book Forbidden Family, Joan Wheeler also divides the world into “good” people – those who do not live in trailer parks, and “not good ” people – those who do live in trailer parks. I don’t even want to touch Joan’s “morality” because I dont’ think I can – she doesn’t have any morals.
Facts are Stubborn Things Part 2 November 10, 2010Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, contradictions, contributing the deliquency of a minor, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, misrepresenting one's credentials, passing assumptions off as truth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths
Facts are Stubborn Things Part 2 by Gert
Now, before going back to pg 214, we must clear up some things regarding my daughter. She had some issues dealing with her natural father’s rejections, my re-marrying and subsequently having a new father in the house. Both my children had not had a father in residence for over 10 years before I remarried. Couple that with puberty and two aunts, Ruth and Joan, who were closer in age to her and more willing to take what she said about her home life as ‘not within the norm’; what teenager likes the rules at home. My daughter had a pattern of various forms of ‘running away’, from finding school mates that were inappropriate, to hanging out with the older kids, to wanting to belong to a Black church group, to finding a woman who had a mental illness who wanted to adopt her, to wanting to have a baby. Yes we were strict, we had to be. Yes we had problems, we were in counseling! But remember this, this was the beginning of the age, culturally, where the parents’ authority was being undermined by not being able to discipline there own child. The child had the rights, the parents’ only right they had was to pay the bills! I had a counselor who would not tell me, when I asked where my daughter was, when she ran away, because of my daughter’s confidentiality, but I had to pay the bill! And yes not everything was perfect and peaceful and pleasant at home. Yes there was domestic violence, but there was no sexual abuse of any kind regardless of appearances and teenage opinions. …. facts are stubborn things.
So on pg 214 Joan states that my daughter told her about changes in family behavior, skinny dripping in particular and Joan takes it upon herself to see ‘huge red flags’ and so she ‘…suspected her (my daughter) to be in danger of sexual abuse by her step-father….with a former co-worker from the NY State Division of Youth…discussed and agreed there was concern and made the phone call to child abuse hotline.’ And as she said ‘the next few months were pure hell’.
What Joan, again, does not write about is that she was warned by Ruth not to involved authorities, they had no real evidence to any abuse, that to do so would cause real trouble, but Joan never listens to anyone but herself and yes it was pure hell. But it is not true, as Joan states, ‘…that (my daughter) was removed from her home and placed in foster care.’ That all happened because of Joan’s actions with a runaway child, my child and much later than when Joan states it happened and how it happen! On pg 221 she states that we moved hundreds of miles away and that my child was placed near me for visits and that all this happened in 1981, wrong, wrong and wrong. Here then is the real story…. facts are stubborn things.
As mentioned before my daughter had a runaway problem, we had to keep close tabs on her at all times. My second husband’s family was based in the country outside of Binghamton NY and we, as a family, had traveled there and visited many times since 1979. As a family we decided to move from Buffalo NY to Binghamton for quality of life issues, we found jobs and moved there August of 82. It was over a year since we adopted my son and that we had any contact with Joan. Of course my daughter did not like this move. Here’s a fact of life, she was a minor, she does not dictate what the family does, the parents do and Joan and Ruth did not like the fact that we took the children away from their ‘roots’. Too bad! I will not now as I did not then justify my decisions I made for my family and no one, blood relative or not, has the right to interfere with my minor children, period, end of story. …. facts are stubborn things.
So we moved and within one week my daughter is a runaway. This is when ‘it was pure hell’, in the fall of 1982 and it started with Joan taking the words of a runaway minor and calling child abuse on the parents, her own sister! Don’t believe all this self-serving crap of hers on pg 214, its all bullshit. As far as the phone calls at that time, yes there were some phone calls, I was trying to find my daughter! But did I do all that Joan says I did like ‘every two hours until 4 AM every day of the week’, is she nuts? I lived hundreds of miles away, still had to go to work while I searched for my daughter and I had another child to care for. It is only in Joan’s diseased mind that sees other doing what she herself does. …. facts are stubborn things.
To make a very long painful story short, my daughter runs away, missing person’s report is filed, family members are called and are asked to make calls to Ruth and Joan, we the parents are lied to, my sisters knew where she was, she was with them. When I find out that my daughter is back in Buffalo, at her old school, we travel back there to collect her. There is a physical confrontation between parents and child in the school where daughter says ‘rape’, police are called, and daughter is taken away and given in temporary custody to Ruth. Because of different counties I have to go back home and then file a PINS (person in need of supervision) with Family court in county where my child is residing. It is during this time period that Joan calls the child abuse hotline, not earlier. (Ruth’s note: Joan called child abuse on Gert twice – the first time before the family moved from Buffalo, then again after Karen ran away). While waiting for Family court dates I am investigated no less than on three separate charges of child abuse. When finally arriving at court and am granted the PINS and request that she be put in a foster home in the country so as to lessen her means of running away. So let me be perfectly clear here: once I found my daughter and was in court it was I who asked for her to be place in foster care, for I knew then that no one else could touch her. I was lucky, my daughter was one month shy of 16. If she were 16 or older I would have lost any hope of gaining control of her behavior for the laws state that at 16 a person can do as they please, but, the parents still had to pay the bills! …. facts are stubborn things.
I then asked for a home study to be done on my two sisters who had sued me for being an unfit parent. How interesting that after my family had passed investigations to adopt that all of a sudden we were abusers and unfit! My sisters were proved to be unsuitable to raise a child. My child was placed in a foster home near where we had already moved to, in other words where we already lived, where my child ran away from, not the way that Joan portrayed it on pg 221. The results were proven that my husband and I acted in every way ‘rightfully to protect our minor child’ and were ‘not guilty of any form of child abuse’. I still have the original 16-page document if anyone cares to check my account of this tragedy. But the damage that Joan started and did was long lasting. …. facts are stubborn things.
My daughter stayed in the foster home for about a year and then she ran away again, this time not from me but from Social Services and Family Court. In early 1984, at the age of 17, I petitioned the court to give my daughter her emancipation, which meant her freedom. She became a full-fledged adult at 17, not entitled to child support, which also relinquished me from any debts related to her. She married shortly after that. …. facts are stubborn things.
Unfortunately the damage that my daughter did, by the word rape, which was put in her mouth by my sisters and carried to the abuse hotline and to the court by Joan, destroy my family. Did Joan win anything here, did she stop any abuse? No all she did was destroy a family. To this day my children, both of them, hate her as does my former husband, his family and I. The stress of those days killed our marriage, all that man wanted was to be a father to my two children, but because Joan is so wrongly obsessed with faulty thinking about adoption she had to kill my family…. facts are stubborn things.
Steak or Hot Dogs? Joan Wheeler hasn’t a clue what the Sippel kids ate – and this has WHAT to do with her adoption? November 9, 2010Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Our Family History, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
Tags: adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright stupid, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, faulty memory, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, passing assumptions off as truth, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading rumors, spreading untruths, stupidity, Urban Legends, whining
From Gert to Ruth:
I just had to address this issue, saw it late last night and stayed up late to do it….so unbelievable even though it is out of sequence I believe that it will serve a purpose… that she is no social worker…so Ruth if you can post this soon….
Joan Wheeler’s book is so full of nonsense it is an overwhelming bunch of garbage.
Taking a peek ahead into the depths of the craziness that Joan has written, I found something that just boggles my mind and felt the need to bring it up now. Chapter 38 is called ‘unequal treatment of 1 half-orphan out of 36 resulted in a traumatic life outcome – a Social Work Assessment’
It begins with ‘April – July 2009’ meaning of course she wrote it or massively rewrote it just before publication. It continues ‘this assessment is complicated to read, but necessary to understand’. I ask you what has Joan written that has been easy to understand? This entire chapter was an ‘afterthought’ of Joan’s so she could continue with her rants under the guise of ‘social work’. What a joke Joan is! Anyone with or without a degree can tell that Joan is nuts. This is the chapter that she says our father couldn’t understand, which btw caused him to say to others that it belonged in the trash! I’m not ready to comment on this chapter in full…in time it will be addressed…but there is one short paragraph that caught my eye.
Under a title of ‘known and unknown rumors against my natural father’ it defies reason has to what that title or what she has in it has to do with her adoption and how it was an ‘unequal treatment’ and how it resulted in a traumatic life for her, for she wasn’t there. It is Joan’s attempt to prove that her traumatic life is because of all the things she has put into this afterthought chapter.
Steak or Hot Dogs?
I can’t imagine how she can believe or devise these tales but as always she has to put her own spin on it. There are many outlandish tales cooked up by the adoptive family because they had some kind of weird idea about my parents and our economic circumstances and Joan has taken them to be ‘true’ and the reason why she is so traumatized. Bull Shit. Here then is one small paragraph that Joan has written on pg. 542 which caused her trauma! (Ruth’s note: how in God’s holy trouser’s could what we Sippel kids ate for supper when Joan wasn’t living with us caused her trauma is way beyond me!)
‘One story that has circulated for decades is that in the years before and after my birth and disappearance to adoption, my father fed my siblings hot dogs while he (and presumably my mother and then my siblings’ step-mother) ate steak. When I asked Dad about this, his explanation made sense to me since I, too, raised children. Parents do their best to provide quality food, but when children prefer to eat hot dogs because they taste better to kids, it is easier for parents to give in than to fight about dinner. There is also another explanation – that my father sent my brother to the Broadway Market to buy hot dogs for dinner. He took his time walking home, eating the uncooked hot dogs on the way. There was no dinner for the rest of the family.’ (Ruth’s note: this sentance makes no sense – it does not compute! – When she says that there was no dinner for the rest of the family – does she mean to imply that my father and mother (or stepmother) ate a steak dinner in front of us kids while we went hungry? HOW DARE YOU JOAN! We kids ate supper EVERY FUCKING EVENING! My father and mother/stepmother was responsible enough to make sure there was adequate groceries in our house for EVERYONE to eat. Not like JOAN and her ex-husband – in another section of her book she says that money was short that often HER kids had one meal a day. That’s a reflection of JOAN’S poor parenting and financial irresponsiblity! She couldn’t feed her kids? Yet she had money to zip around the place attending adoption conferences! Or going to rock concerts! But when money was short, and HER kids ate only one meal a day – did she get off her lazy ass and get even a part time job in the evenings at the Tops Supermarket one mile from her house? Before Joan starts painting the Sippel kids as deprived, she needs to take a close look at how she treated her own kids – like crap!)
This is pure hogwash! I haven’t a clue how she could possible believe such a tale and then put it in a book about her adoption! The basic true story was related from birth relative to adoptive relative and then turned into totally false-hood by the adoptive relatives for reasons of their own. But Joan NEVER researched the truth of the story and instead adds things on, that are of course not true and embellishes it with her own ‘time period’ thought patterns.
One can tell that it is another ‘Joan centric’ tale because she starts it out with her birth and ‘disappearance to adoption’ as if B.J. (before Joan) had some kind of great turning point in the way our family lived.
Here is the truth and beginning of the tale: My father was raised an only child after an elder brother died. His mother was very protective of him and of his health in particular. She always maintained that her son should have the iron in steak so that his blood was strong and he would not become weak like the son that she had lost. When my father and mother married, his mother would bring a steak to my mother, every week, telling her it was for her son. My mother, being a good daughter-in-law, thanked her mother-in-law and put the steak in the freezer till she had enough to feed the entire family. There is nothing more or less to the story, simply that my mother was no fool. She knew enough to keep her family fed with or without the additional weekly steak that her mother-in-law, my grandmother gave her.
Most of the time during and after my mother’s illness and death we children lived with or were taken care of by our grandparents. Then Dad remarried and his mother came again to her new daughter-in-law, my stepmother with the ‘steak’ for her son. This did not go over well with my stepmother and it was probably she who fed us other meat, again, because she was the wife and in charge of the household and kitchen, not my father.
What Joan tells in this tale is not true and it suffers greatly from total fabrications. She says that she asked Dad about this, well I have no way of knowing if that is true or not but it seems that even if he attempted to give an explanation of it that explanation was embellished by Joan. Dad is a guy and some guys just don’t think about how and what kind of food got on the table. Joan doesn’t think! In the 1950s the world was different, the husband gave the wife the ‘grocery money’ and that was that. So Dad did not feed his kids anything, his wife did! And he ate what was put in front of him!
Joan states, ‘Parents do their best to provide quality food, but when children prefer to eat hot dogs because they taste better to kids, it is easier for parents to give in than to fight about dinner.’ This is Joan’s inner mind working again, subjectively and certainly putting words into someone else’s mouth. This might have happened in Joan’s home with her adoptive parents and then with her children but it certainly didn’t happen in my father’s home. This statement is an editorial comment, has nothing to do with the story at all. Joan was NOT THERE, she would not KNOW that as a child, in my father’s household, if you didn’t eat what was put in front of you, you stayed there all night till you ate it and if you didn’t you had it for breakfast, or, you went without and went to bed hungry! (Ruth’s note: This is correct, not only in our house, but our grandmother’s house, and in the foster home that we were in for a few years. This is why I will not eat, to this day: oatmeal, lima beans or brussel sprouts. The women in our lives, our father’s mother, our step-mother, our step-grandmother and our foster mother, were strict. They did not cook a meal only to have a child waste it).
Here are some other very important facts that Joan does not know about. While there was the Broadway Market it was not in the neighbor and my father would never have sent my brother or any of us there to purchase anything. There was a local butcher within 4 blocks from home where we went for meat. Joan doesn’t know that because she wasn’t there and the adoptive relatives were not there! All she and they know is the Broadway Market!
Joan then continues saying about my brother that, ‘He took his time walking home, eating the uncooked hot dogs on the way. There was no dinner for the rest of the family.’ Again, made-up, sounds more like something The Beaver would have done, but not a real kid who was sent to the store to get something. If anyone of us did such a thing forget about dinner, which was called supper at our house, you would have been sent to bed with a ‘licking’. (Ruth’s note: again, the women in our lives were strict – we got a good smack on our backside when we misbehaved. Something more kids need in this world of kids AND adults not having any self-control or sense of self-responsibility).
Joan knows nothing about what happened in our family because she either wasn’t born yet or she was adopted out as an infant. (Ruth’s note: this sentence makes perfect sense to me – how the hell does Joan know what we Sippel kids ate for supper? SHE WASN’T THERE! I WAS! I KNOW WHAT WE ATE, WHAT WE DIDN’T EAT – AND HOW OUR FAMILY EXISTED! AND SO DOES GERT AND SO DOES KATHY – NOT JOAN. Joan keeps saying that her adoptive family, both her parents and the extended Wheeler family LIED to her about her adoption, and the existence of her siblings. How does she know that they weren’t also LYING to her about our family life? And how the hell do THEY know about it? THEY were NOT part of our family growing up! The only contact between the two families was my mother’s sister Catherine – and she raised her kids the same dam way – her husband always had liverwurst sausage in the fridge and limburger cheese – and NOBODY touched them! – and by god NOBODY touched Uncle Ray’s stuff! BUT, I ate dam well at Aunt Catherine’s house and I ate the same food that my cousins Norman, Ida and Gail had! – so this bullshit about what we Sippel kids ate came from the LYING WHEELERS! – And they sure taught Joan how to lie).
These tales are fabrications told to her by her adoptive parents and Joan hasn’t got the good sense to keep them out of print. She really ought to be ashamed of herself. She really ought to go after her adoptive relatives and leave the birth sisters alone.
(Ruth’s note: a competent social worker would know not to publish “urban legends” such as the steak/hotdogs or Butch eating hotdogs walking down the street. Better still, a COMPETENT social worker would get to the root of the “urban legend.” But since Joan DIDN’T bother to consider a family anecdote that sprang from either a faulty memory, or out-and-out LIES from her adoptive family, this clearly shows us that Joan is no dam social worker).
Addendum from Ruth:
I have already addressed this family anecdote about us Sippel kids eating hotdogs in my post Photos from the Past March 15, 2010. You have to scroll down to see what I wrote. But to save you the trouble here is what I wrote:
Joan also says on page 542 that our father fed kids hotdogs while he (and presumably my mother and then my siblings’ step-mother) ate steak. This is a family anecdote that Joan in her “brain fog” has gotten wrong.
What happened was this: my father’s mother was from the old-school, she would send over a steak every Friday for my dad. My mother, and then later my stepmother would say “thank you,” and put it in the freezer and the next week, another steak would come, and then we all would eat steak. and yes there were times that we kids would eat hotdogs.
As to the next “story” that my father sent my brother to the Broadway Market for hotdogs, and he ate them on the way home, leaving no dinner for the rest of the family, this makes no sense. Broadway Market was 2 and a half long blocks up Smith St. and then 5 short blocks over. There was Matty’s Deli right around the corner if we needed something in a hurry. Besides, there was Loblaw’s at the corner of William and Emslie only 5 blocks away and Joan was not there, I was. I went shopping every week with my stepmother. We had money for dinner people. come on. What Joan is doing is having “brain fog” in hearing another family anecdote that my brother was sent to the store and probably did eat the hotdogs. I WAS THERE, I HAD DINNER EVERY NIGHT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! (Ruth’s note, November 8, 2010 – Gert is right – we did call it supper in our house. My husband John and I call it dinner in these present days of 2010).
And if we were so “poor” how come we had one cat, 2 parakeets, turtles, fish, Visible V8 Engine set, chemistry sets, build your own radio kits, a backyard gym/swing set, electric football game, kitchen sets with hoses to a bottle to supply running water, the first Easy Bake oven, Chatty Cathy dolls, Nancy dolls, Janet Lennon dolls, Elsie the Cow doll, some doll, if memory serves, The Breck Doll, sponsored by Breck shampoo, where you learned to style hair, and these weren’t Barbie doll sized, but big – their heads were at least 3 or 4 inches across! I had a Drink and Wet doll who was at least 15 inches long! The first Lite Brite sets. Sno-Cone set. I had a chair and desk set with reversible top – chalkboard on one side, artist easle on the other, paint by number sets, the original Cootie and Mr. Potato-Head.
AND we had our living room set from Ethan Allen furniture (NOT cheap) – colonial style! with a couch that opened to a bed. Colonial style rocking chair, coffee table (of which I had until the early 80’s), colonial style dining room furniture, of which I have TO THIS DAY, one of the chairs – it’s sitting four feet away from me right now! I vividly remember being with my step-mother and step-brother bringing home the living room lamps from downtown Buffalo, Hens and Kelley. AND if we were soooo poor, how come every week, my step-mother took me, my brother and stepbrother downtown to the movies, usually to see the new sci-fi, stuff like “The Cosmic Man” “Hypnotic Eye” “Attack of the 50 Foot Woman” “Invaders from Mars” “Darby O’Gill + the Little People.” We saw Fantasia, went to the circus, I vividly remember not liking the clowns and my stepmother holding me. And all the junk we brought home. I also vividly remember my stepmother taking ME alone to see the brand new Hayley Mills film, The Parent Trap. My brothers and I had Roy Rogers capgun sets, complete with belts, which my grandmother didn’t like. Rubber Jim Bowie knives, Davy Crockett hats. I had a Howdy Doody doll who came to the hospital with me when I had my tonsils taken out at 7 years old, where I threw a temper tantrum because they shut my tv off just as Chuck Connors The Rifleman came on! (I had to leave my rifle home, dad wouldn’t let me take it). All these brand new toys, and pets, but we were poor? I DON’T THINK SO!
(Ruth’s note, November 8, 2010: The Wheelers [but I suspect it all came from Mama Wheeler] thinks we Sippel kids were soooo poor. We came from the “inner city?” Oh yeah? Well, so did THEY! We lived on Smith St. They lived on Coit St. – ONE BLOCK OVER, TWO BLOCKS UP! So Dorothy/Doloris (yes, she goes by two names), take your suburbian snootiness and shove it – ‘cos you came from 3 blocks where we lived – THE INNER CITY!)
And pray tell: what does all this have to do with the supposed purpose of the book Forbidden Family – Joan’s adoption, Joan’s reunion with us and adoption reform? – ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
Gert – November 9, 2010
‘And pray tell: what does all this have to do with the supposed purpose of the book Forbidden Family – Joan’s adoption, Joan’s reunion with us and adoption reform? – ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!’
True, absolutely nothing! Joan is totally against any form of adoption, because, she was adopted and her adoptive parents, lied to her, kept secrets from her, betrayed her and when she was ‘found’ by birth relatives, her adoptive family further betrayed, lied and harassed Joan for having a birth family. Nasty business for sure from the adoptive family, but hey, that is not the birth family’s blame.
Joan repeats, at nauseum, her tramatic life as a basis for adoption reform. NO! Joan’s life is what it is because of Joan, NOT adoption. It’s about time that Joan got out of the fog and get the hell over it! She was dealt a raw deal, well she isn’t the only one. She is suffering now because she CAN’T stand the fact that three birth sisters are finally able to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Joan get a life before you find your self on your death bed all alone and wondering how you got there with no one!
This blog will continue to truth tell and refute everything in that book of garbage!