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Doris Michol Sippel fka Joan Mary Wheeler engages in an unprovoked ATTACK on me and my family on the facebook page ADOPTION SUCKS. (what a nice grown-up name there). July 30, 2017

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Uncategorized.
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I have been trying to write this blog post for a couple of weeks. I have been very busy with my life. But I was made aware, by a friend via private facebook message that Joan Mary Wheeler, now going by her new name of Doris Michol Sippel had left a comment to a thread on the “Adoption sucks” facepook page.   https://www.facebook.com/groups/10484382277/

also please see Gert’s follow up post here…

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2017/08/06/i-understand-peoples-need-for-privacy-says-joan-m-wheelerdoris-m-sippel/

The thread, started by Leslie Dann on July 10 at 3:26pm asked the question “Is there anyone else on here who has a diagnosed mental illness?”  — To which Joan/Doris answered with this comment:

“I have C-PTSD, depression, anxiety. My adoptive mother had several diagnosed mental illnesses for which I was treated in order to learn how to cope with her behavior. My adoptive father was her enabler. The rest of my adoptive father’s family (not all, thank goodness) all piled on the band wagon to emotionally abuse me after my reunion, so gang mentality increased my fear, anxiety, PTSD from their attacks. My natural blood family have undiagnosed mental illness, their attacks upon me are also responsible for my C-PTSD. “ 

Here is Leslie’s full comment: Is there anyone else on here who has a diagnosed mental illness? I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 19 after I went manic and saw hallucinations. I have been taking my medication for years, faithfully, but this past year I have been hospitalized three times for depression. I don’t know why except there are external factors, such as no support system and a job I’m just doing to get my pension. I told bfather about how I hadn’t been doing so well lately and he hasn’t answered my email. I think if you admit to being unhappy (even if you have a mental illness) they just don’t want to hear it. It upsets their adoption apple cart. Anyone else I would have told that to would have said that they were there to talk or reach out to. Bfather: silence. More disappointment. 

Leslie does not say anything to lead anyone to attack anyone. She (or he, as Leslie can be male or female), does say they had contacted their birthfather, but he hadn’t answered the email. Leslie says they were disappointed in their birthfather’s silence. However, Joan simply HAD to use the opportunity to ATTACK her birthfamily. She didn’t say she had been disappointed in her birthfamily, no, she ATTACKED us. AND her adoptive family. “The rest of my adoptive father’s family (not all, thank goodness) all piled on the band wagon to emotionally abuse me after my reunion, so gang mentality increased my fear, anxiety, PTSD from their attacks” – then she goes on to LIE about her birthfamily saying “My natural blood family have undiagnosed mental illness, their attacks upon me are also responsible for my C-PTSD.”

So, her entire birth family is mentally ill and are the cause for HER PTSD? –BULLSHIT.

So I left a post defending myself. And of course the adoptees went screwy because I stood up for myself and MY RIGHTS NOT TO BE LIED ABOUT. And of course, the adoptees can’t concieve that perhaps, one of their own is a lying asshole. of course not. I am sick of the bullshit “superiority” put forth by these assholes.  

The issue of my being an member of the group was brought up and the adoptees immediately took it that I follow Joan around the internet. Why yes, I do – that has been brought up on this blog many times – I FOLLOW JOAN/DORIS ON THE INTERNET TO SEE WHAT LIES SHE SAYS ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY. And by the way, since Joan is blocked from me on facebook, I can’t see what she says. I was sent her message by a friend. I did not ask him to send it to me. It doesn’t matter HOW I saw her comment. It doesn’t matter WHERE I saw her comment. It doesn’t matter WHO alerted me to it. What matters is she took this thread as an opportunity to lob an UNPROVOKED ATTACK against me.  

Speaking of people alerting me to Joan/Doris’ activities on the internet, every few months I get UNSOLICITED private message via facebook of such. I also get friend requests from adoptees, yes, adoptees, who are sick of Joan/Doris and her bullshit. Here is the screenshot of one of them. AND if you look at the right hand side, I blocked out names and profile pics of people, but another person, did send me an observation about “JW”

 

 

Getting back to the “adoption sucks thread” Joan/Doris comes back on the thread and tries to justify HER lies about me AND states another lie about me — THAT I AM IN DENIAL ABOUT MY UNDIAGNOSED MENTAL ILLNESS: 

Doris Michol Sippel In case you all are wondering where I’ve been…I’ve been quietly living my life today. Breakfast, laundry, church, lunch with a friend, grocery shopping, answered long distance phone call, prepared for work tomorrow, went to an outdoor concert, came back to this. Yes, I long ago blocked Ruthie and Gert so I cannot see their comments. All I see are the words of others talking to Ruth. Imagine being found at age 18 in 1974 by these weird women! I was in my senior year of high school, got enmeshed in their problems, got swept up in everyone’s anger at me, so I lashed back, until I sought therapy. I still cannot understand why we all have made it clear many decades ago that we want nothing to do with each other – and they still hunt me down. I do nothing to them.They attack other adoptees. …Ruth is 63 or 64, Gert is 70. I am 61. You see the content of my writing. Who has mental illness? Who admits to struggling? Me. As Daryl Bergmann said, NOT ME. Who is in denial? July 17 at 12:05am

Really now, Joan/Doris is proud of herself to admitting to being mentally ill, and calls on me to do the same. — oh, but didn’t she say in her first comment that I have an UNDIAGNOSED MENTAL ILLNESS? um, how can I admit to something that is undiagnosed????????????? ahhhh, the stupid, it burns, it burns!!!!?? this is just like Trump saying there was no Russian involvement, but Obama was in the wrong for not going after the Russians for their non-involvement. Joan/Doris shows us her own mental illness (just like Trump) with her non-sensical statement. 

Then Joan asks the adoptees if one of them can copy and paste what I wrote and send it to her. Um, but – the adoptees were bitching when I was sent a copy of paste of what Joan wrote about me. But it’s perfectly allright for them to copy and paste what I wrote. Double standard here as usual. One of the adoptees ask a question about Joan’s request:

Laurel Jenkins-Crowe I hope it’s OK for me to put in that I for one would like to know what would be done with that document. Could it be anonymized?

Doris Michol Sippel Laurel Jenkins-Crowe Not at all. I understand people’s need for privacy. 

SHE UNDERSTANDS PEOPLE’S NEED FOR PRIVACY???? REALLY? WHERE THE FUCK IS MY PRIVACY JOAN/DORIS?

The administrator of the group, Daryl Bergman, a buddy of Joan/Doris points out that Joan/Doris had not named me in her “diagnosing me and my family with a undiagnosed mental illness” : — however that point is moot. Joan/Doris has named me all over her website, has named my parents in her libelous book, has photographs of my parents in her book and on her website. I have no privacy.

Here is the full text of all comments:

Leslie Dann — Is there anyone else on here who has a diagnosed mental illness? I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 19 after I went manic and saw hallucinations. I have been taking my medication for years, faithfully, but this past year I have been hospitalized three times for depression. I don’t know why except there are external factors, such as no support system and a job I’m just doing to get my pension. I told bfather about how I hadn’t been doing so well lately and he hasn’t answered my email. I think if you admit to being unhappy (even if you have a mental illness) they just don’t want to hear it. It upsets their adoption apple cart. Anyone else I would have told that to would have said that they were there to talk or reach out to. Bfather: silence. More disappointment. – July 10 3:26pm

Doris Michol Sippel I have C-PTSD, depression, anxiety. My adoptive mother had several diagnosed mental illnesses for which I was treated in order to learn how to cope with her behavior. My adoptive father was her enabler. The rest of my adoptive father’s family (not all, thank goodness) all piled on the band wagon to emotionally abuse me after my reunion, so gang mentality increased my fear, anxiety, PTSD from their attacks. My natural blood family have undiagnosed mental illness, their attacks upon me are also responsible for my C-PTSD. July 16, 2017

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace I am Ruth Sippel Pace – birth sister of Doris Michol Sippel – I do not have any mental illness. I recently retired from a 43 year career as a Patient Care Assistant at a large metropolitan general hospital.

 During those 43 years, I worked on several med-surg nursing units, 4 years in the Medical Intensive Care Unit, 5 years in our Hospice Unit, several years in the Renal Transplant Unit.

 In 1995, I worked on a committee and won an award for my work on that committee – Finding New Solutions to Delivering Patient Care. I also worked several months in the Emergency Dept. in 2014.

 In 2003, between my husband and myself, we suffered the loss of six family members between July and Oct. – In Sept. 2003, my husband had open heart surgery, two weeks later, I was injured at work. I was very stressed out and one day I was reduced to a sobbing mess. I called my doctor immediately, and she had me come in the next day, whereupon she recommended I see a counselor – which I did.

I spoke with the counselor. He said there was nothing wrong with me – outside of experiencing extreme stress.

 In 1997, under the guidance of the Newburgh Coalition of Block Clubs, I organized and headed up a block club on my street. At that time I developed a ‘working’ relationship with my city district’s common council member, who to this day, remains a personal friend and supporter of my work to better my street and surrounding neighborhood.

 In 1994-95, almost daily phone calls to several departments all over the hospital for six months were placed to my employer with lies to get me fired — by Doris Michol Sippel. These calls were because at one time a patient whose name was similar to hers, got mixed up with Doris’ bill.

 I have never worked in hospital billing department – I have worked NIGHT SHIFT 11pm-7am on patient care nursing units.

 There was a meeting by hospital administration that no one was to accept any phone call from Doris.

 In 2012, she did it again, accusing me of computer fraud on my employer’s computer. My employer can (and did) trace EVERY KEYSTROKE I DID. —- I WAS EXONERATED. Who in their right mind calls someone else’s place employment over the span of almost 20 years with lies to get them fired?

Yes, we see Doris’s self-admission of mental illness.

And her self-diagnosis of ME is bordering on slander and libel, which she also was guilty of when she called my job AND published lies about me in her “autobiography” — to which I had actual police and court documents sent to her publisher. That publisher, Trafford, had their legal team go through the court documents I sent them and those official documents did not jive with the stories in her book that Doris attested were true and factual. The result? Her book was pulled from publication.

I have never been arrested, served time, served probation, yet Doris goes around saying I have. I have never taken drugs, drink only rarely.

I held down a very good job for 43 years. I am a homeowner, I had a brief fun career as a professional belly dancer in the 1980’s-90’s. I have had several people urge me to enter local politics.

I have been with my husband for 31 happy years. Yes, we have had problems, we go with the flow. Before that, I was in a domestic relationship with another good man for 10 years.

Ask yourselves — this thread is about self-confessions, NOT ATTACKS ON OTHER PEOPLE.

WHY is Doris attacking me and my other two older sisters? Because — when our mother died and for whatever reason my father relinquished her for adoption – DORIS IS BITTERLY JEALOUS THAT SHE WAS GIVEN UP FOR ADOPTION AND WE WEREN’T.

I was 3 years old when my mother died and Doris was given to adoption. My sisters were also children – 8 and 9. WE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

In 1974, we were reunited with her, but within 6 years, we could see Doris’ anti-social behaviors and one by one, members of her birth family told her to leave them alone. In 1989 Doris stole almost $700.00 from me and I too told her to hit the road. And she has spent the last 28 years punishing me for that with revenge tactics, harassments, false police reports.

When her book came out in 2009, I started a blog to refute the many lies about me and my family in that book. The past couple of years, I have not done much on the blog – but Doris will NOT leave me alone — I come to this website because as the birthsister of an adoptee, I do have a connection to adoption. I come to learn. (isn’t that what adoptees always say they want us to do?) — I rarely comment, I’m not here to make trouble — but what the hell is this?

Why can’t Doris speak her contributions to this thread WITHOUT DRAGGING ME INTO AND ACCUSING ME OF HAVING A MENTAL ILLNESS?

 I want the adminstrator of this page to remove that slanderous and libelous comment that tells people that I have an undiagnosed mental illness! — If it is undiagnosed, HOW DOES DORIS KNOW I HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS?

DORIS IS NOT A LICENSED MEDICAL DOCTOR, A PSYCHIATRIST, NEVER WENT TO MED SCHOOL —

STOP ENABLING THIS KIND OF NONSENSE.

Use your brains and logic people — IF I HAVE AN ‘UNDIAGNOSED MENTAL ILLNESS’ — how does Doris KNOW I have a mental illness????? Again, I ask you — where is her medical degree? Where is her proof of such? Can she provide absolute proof of anything she says about me? NO. – I can, and I HAVE provided proof of her various harassments of me throughout the years – scanned documents that are on my blog. Letters written to me by her — and their envelopes, with dates, her signature, despite her attesting in her book on the internet that “I HAVE HAD NO CONTACT WITH MY BIRTHSISTERS FOR ALMOST 40 YEARS.” — 40 years takes us back to 1977 — hmm, I must have dreamed I was one of her bridesmaids in 1983. ps – now that I’m retired, I am a Paranormal Investigator — I hunt ghosts. If that makes me mentally ill, well then so be it. I’m happy and busy living my life – Doris is a bitter woman. screw her. I’m having fun.

Nicole Haun — Me thinks she protests too much

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace — experience almost 30 years of undeserved harassment and see how you like it my dear.

Nicole Haun — Depends on what you call undeserved…

Nicole Haun — Considering you joined this group and you followed her here to harass her, I’d say she’s getting the short end of the stick.

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace — as usual, the bully gets believed, and the bully’s victim is quashed, for daring to speak up. Ms. Haun – you are one of those adoptees who take blindly the word of someone simply because they are adopted – non-adoptees like me, our story is never taken seriously –

I didn’t follow her here – she has blocked me from facebook – I can’t see her comment – a friend of mine saw it, copied and pasted it and sent it to me via fb messanger – that’s how I know about it.

 but yeah, I know of the famous feud – and again — adotpees will take the side of the adoptee (Joan/Doris) and believe her in anything she says about me — simply because she says so. — as I said, on my blog – I have scanned police documents, and scans of harassing letters she sent to me, despite her saying on the internet – her website – that she hasn’t sent me anything. — in a court of law, all evidence must be examined – to see the whole truth — you don’t want to know the truth — because it would show that >gasp< an adoptee was lying.

 eh, my story isn’t worth anything, I’m not adopted, so of course – you dismiss me. I don’t have the right to defend myself or speak the truth of my own life.. so be it. have a nice day Ms. Haun.

Nicole Haun — so you have people following her? You have a blog that publicly harasses her? Sounds like you’re perfectly normal. (That’s sarcasm in case you’ve missed it) 

Daryl Bergmann — That profile has been removed. I’m sure she’ll be back with a sock puppet profile, a problem in any public group.

Nicole Haun — Daryl Bergmann so sad

Daryl Bergmann — Yeah. Doris doesn’t mention a name. Then boom, immediately on the defense to deny any form of mental illness pops up Ruth with a prepared novel for that exact purpose. Says a lot. Far more than intended. Adoption really does suck.

Daryl Bergmann — Believe whatever you want, but when the picture always looks like this…. Joe: There’s mental illness in my family. Jim: NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME

Jack (knows nothing about past): Pardon?

Jim: There you go taking his side! You always do that! You and everyone like you!! Joe lies!!! He’s the crazy one!!! NOT ME!!!

Jack: Ooooookay then.

Daryl Bergmann — I’m sure all members will come to their own conclusions on this after reading the three previous comments and replies. I don’t feel investigating the paranormal makes one mentally ill. The viciousness and extent of the replies tend to, though. A real “Chuck McGill” moment, if you’re a “Better Call Saul” fan. Not even time will heal those wounds.

Doris Michol Sippel — In case you all are wondering where I’ve been…I’ve been quietly living my life today. Breakfast, laundry, church, lunch with a friend, grocery shopping, answered long distance phone call, prepared for work tomorrow, went to an outdoor concert, came back to this. Yes, I long ago blocked Ruthie and Gert so I cannot see their comments. All I see are the words of others talking to Ruth. Imagine being found at age 18 in 1974 by these weird women! I was in my senior year of high school, got enmeshed in their problems, got swept up in everyone’s anger at me, so I lashed back, until I sought therapy. I still cannot understand why we all have made it clear many decades ago that we want nothing to do with each other – and they still hunt me down. I do nothing to them.They attack other adoptees. …Ruth is 63 or 64, Gert is 70. I am 61. You see the content of my writing. Who has mental illness? Who admits to struggling? Me. As Daryl Bergmann said, NOT ME. Who is in denial? July 17 at 12:05am

Doris Michol Sippel — Can anyone copy and paste all comments, including Ruth’s comments, in a Word doc and email the whole thread to me? dorismicholsippel@gmail.com … Thank you.July 17 at 12:07am 

Laurel Jenkins-Crowe I hope it’s OK for me to put in that I for one would like to know what would be done with that document. Could it be anonymized?  July 17 at 7:48am

Doris Michol Sippel I’d like a full account of what Ruth wrote. Yes, it could be anonymized. And, someone already copied it for me. Thank you. I’m sorry my adoption peeps have to see this harassment. I don’t see why my life is such an obsession with Ruth and Gert. 

July 17 at 5:38pm —Laurel Jenkins-Crowe Thank you! I’m glad the request wasn’t offensive.

July 17 at 6:09pmDoris Michol Sippel Laurel Jenkins-Crowe Not at all. I understand people’s need for privacy.

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Con Artist Joan Mary Wheeler, now known as Doris Michol Sippel strikes again by peddling to an unsuspecting public a book with a new title, a new author-name, BUT THE SAME CONTENTS INSIDE. September 24, 2016

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Joan Mary Wheeler - fraud artists.
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There isn’t even an explanation on the product information page to the fact that she changed her name and the title, but the contents of the book is the same – this is called FRAUD. – see screen shots of the amazon site below.

On September 22, 2016 Joan Mary Wheeler has published a FOURTH version of her book Forbidden Family on kindle. This time under her new legal name of Doris Michol Sippel. AND she changed the title of the book AGAIN. This time it’s called Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity. Listed here are the three other versions of this ridiculous book:

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption – November 2, 2015

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption – June 2015 – kindle

Forbidden Family – November 2009 – paperback  

Each time she puts out another version – she changes things in the book. – Can this idiot EVER make up her mind as to what to name her obsession – her book that she has been revising over and over for more than 30 years, now has a NEW THIRD title. First it was called Forbidden Family, then it was called Forbidden Family, My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption, now it’s called Forbidden Family, An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity.

Come on Joan, MAKE UP YOUR MIND.  

I get the fact that since she went to surrogate’s court and had her name legally changed from Joan Mary Wheeler to her original birth name Doris Michol Sippel, that probably a new edition of her precious obsession would reflect that – but WHY a new title?

It’s the same damn book – this is the THIRD time she’s published the same fucking thing with a different title each time – and each time, there are slight changes.

apparently that’s all she does with her life – re-writing and re-writing her manuscript.

My father told me once “that book will never be finished because she keeps revising it – changing it around and rewriting it.”

She wallows in her pain and hate and her book is her only life. – her life IS her preciousss book. 

I went on the amazon page and left this review: 

BAIT AND SWITCH – CON-ARTISTRY

 By Ruth Pace on September 23, 2016

this is classic bait and switch – I purchased previously the kindle edition of Forbidden Family Duped by Adoption by Joan Mary Wheeler a year ago – Ms. Wheeler had her name legally changed to Doris Michol Sippel in June 2016 – and then changed the title of the book to Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity. But this is the SAME EXACT BOOK AS THE PREVIOUS BOOK.

If the author wanted her book to reflect her name change, she should have made clear on the cover and on the selling site that this book “was previously published in its entirety as “Forbidden Family Duped by Adoption” under my adopted name Joan Mary Wheeler.”

bait and switch, scamming and thievery, con-artistry.

comment: Gert McQueen Sept 23 4:53pm

I also purchased the kindle and printed book of ‘duped by adoption’, last year! I have JUST repurchased the kindle and printed versions of this RIP OFF of the same old story! Because I want to have the evidence in my hands that this author is conning Amazon and readers out of their monies! If someone purchase ‘Duped by adoption’ by Joan M Wheeler, it is the SAME as this book (Struggle for Identity) the author ONLY changed her name NOT the contents of the book.  

And Gert McQueen also left a review on amazon:

Gert McQueen – Sept 24, 2016

I also purchased the kindle and printed book of ‘duped by adoption’, last year! I have JUST repurchased the kindle and printed versions of this RIP OFF of the same old story! Because I want to have the evidence in my hands that this author is conning Amazon and readers out of their monies! If someone purchase ‘Duped by adoption’ by Joan M Wheeler, it is the SAME as this book (Struggle for Identity) the author ONLY changed her name NOT the contents of the book.  

and we left these comments:

Ruth Pace Sept 24 5:35am

FRAUD – SMOKE AND MIRRORS

PUTTING A NEW NAME AND A PICTURE ON A NEW COVER OF AN IDENTICAL BOOK SOLD BEFORE UNDER A DIFFERENT NAME.

Gert McQueen Sept 24 5:48am

the previous version, ‘duped by adoption’ had an editor… Michael Allen Potter (Editor) why is he NOT on this version? And the ‘forward’ was written in 2006 and was NOT rewritten by Rene to reflect Joan’s name change to Doris! This entire presentation is FRAUD. This book needs to be removed from the buying market.  

I also left this statement as a discussion topic on her amazon author page: 

she published it under a new name and new title – FRAUD .

It’s the same exact book – new name, new title, peddling it under fraudulent means. In June 2016, Joan Wheeler legally changed her name to Doris Michol Sippel. On September 22, 2016, Joan self-published a new kindle version of this book, under a new title: Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity, and listed the author as her new name Doris Michol Sippel. And the new kindle version has a new cover photo.

The content of the book is exactly the same as this version – but Joan/Doris does NOT explain anything – instead of listing on the cover “previously published as Forbidden Family Duped by Adoption by her adoptive name Joan Mary Wheeler”

This is fraudulent activity. A person who bought the 2015 version might not know that the 2016 version is the same book because it’s listed under a totally different author name.

What kind of con-artistry and thievery is going on here?

kindle-1

kindle-2

kindle-3

.

 

UPDATE OCTOBER 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

END

 

NEW POST power play and/or trauma July 24, 2016

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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Gert here…

it’s always a good idea to keep on eye on my blog for new posts…

here’s the latest

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2016/07/21/is-it-another-power-play-by-joan-m-wheeler-this-time-to-take-mirahs-place-andor-is-there-really-trauma-in-being-adopted/

Another Chapter in Joan Wheeler’s Revisionist History – how her 9/11 experience changed from a ‘truthful’ account in 2009 to a lie in 2014. September 19, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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Or was it a lie in 2009, and now it’s the truth in 2014 – and will there be another version of the the facts down the road?

 Joan Wheeler says she’s been revising her book Forbidden Family since it’s been pulled from publication in May 2011 for her violating her contract with the publisher – for signing a statement that the book was truthful. And I sent documents to the publisher that proved she lied in the book. — But she’s been revising it – I have asked in the past, how does one revise the truth? Oh, that’s real easy, when you’re Joan Wheeler. Let’s check this out.

 From “Forbidden Family,” page 372, published November 2009, pulled from publication, May 2011.

  “Then came September 11.

  I was working at a crisis center for two years when terrorists attacked our country. I called Mom shortly after 9A.M. and went back to work. My daughter was in school. How would the high school handle this? I thought of my son. he was one month away from home in Navy Boot Camp. Was he safe?

  I put in ten hours of work that day as a crisis counselor. The director found a small black and white TV set with an antenna. She put it on a table in the front of the phone room for the phone counselors. We watched the news with a fuzzy picture, or even just the sound. When calls came in, we helped callers cope with the unfolding tragedy. Toward the middle of the afternoon, we were flooded with calls from people wanting to donate blood and to organize a drive to Ground Zero. I was frightened, tired and ached for my mother and daughter who were alone in the house. When I arrived home, we cried together.”

 Hmmm, a pretty good narration there. A straight-forward account of where she was when the attacks occurred, how she found out about it, and her reaction to the attacks. But let’s see how she narrates that awful Tuesday morning on September 11, 2014 on her facebook page. –

  “On this day 13 years ago, I went to work at Buffalo’s Crisis Services as a telephone crisis phone operator. The day started as usual. We huddled together for morning chats. I broke away to gather up my cup of coffee from the kitchen. As I approached the Phone Room with my coffee, a small crowd of social workers gathered in the hallway. They were crying. One of our own workers had received a call from her brother. He worked on one of the lower floors of the World Trade Center. He escaped. We knew SOMETHING was wrong. We went to work.

  As the morning progressed, we sat at our posts, taking calls. But the Buffalo community was strangely silent. Not many knew what was happening.

  Our two directors scurried around the main office to find a TV. We had an old black and white TV, not cable ready, and placed it in a small table at the front of the room. No picture. Only sound. Sound muffled through the static. We heard the morning progress, but could not see the News unfold.

  When the plane hit the Pentagon, the Phone Room Director came in, stood in front of us, and declared, “This country is under attack!”

  At once, a feeling of shock and horror swept over me. A brief accounting of my immediate family entered my mind: my aging mother at home, my high school age daughter in school, my son in his first month of Navy boot camp.

  But I was at work.

  Whoever sent those planes could target Buffalo: the three bridges to Canada, the Electric Power Plant — WE COULD BE NEXT.

  I suddenly snapped into a crisis-team mode. Straightening up in my chair, I listened to our Directors give us a breakdown of predictions for the morning. Community could call in, frantic, but many will not know as they call in with their own personal crisis. We prepared for blood donors to call. We prepared to set up volunteer groups to assemble. But the morning was slow as calls surprisingly did not come in. Perhaps the city was glued to their TV sets. We had our usual repeat callers. And dead space.

  I called home to tell Mom to turn on her TV. I told her to sit tight and that I’d be home after my shift. But that shift turned from an 8 hour day to a 10 hour day. The afternoon turned to evening. Weary and nervous, I wanted to go home. But I volunteered to stay to help the shift change.

  I worked 10 hour days for the next two weeks.

  When working in a Crisis Center, staff must go through planned de-briefings. We who were on the front line taking in calls, and those who were in Outreach teams sent out in the community, we needed counseling ourselves to center ourselves, find peace, find a way to gather up courage.

  Only one of those people with whom I worked on September 11, 2001, is a Facebook friend today. I honor my dear friend, Michael O. who worked with me and about 8 other Phone Room counselors that first morning shift.

  May we all find peace, somehow, and remember those who died today, 13 years ago.”

 Joan mentions her friend Michael who replies to this facebook post:

Michael O. – “Funny thing about that day…I remember it being fairly quiet on the phone lines.

 Ahh, a more detailed, and REVISED account of what she put forth in the 2009 book, and I suspect this is a passage from her REVISED book-in-the-making. AND this revision contains a very important contradiction. AND quite a lot of extra DRAMA, verbiage, and exaggerations of some quite simple things. I like the one about they were preparing for blood donors to call – um, Crisis Services does not deal with blood donors – the Red Cross does – everybody knows that. Maybe some people would call the Crisis Center to inquire where to donate blood – and wouldn’t they have information about that already on hand – they would have a directory of handy and important community phone numbers and contacts for people and would have the Red Cross info already – so what’s to prepare?

Let’s talk about the added drama – oh, the DRAMA —

  “When the plane hit the Pentagon, the Phone Room Director came in, stood in front of us, and declared, “This country is under attack!”

  At once, a feeling of shock and horror swept over me. A brief accounting of my immediate family entered my mind: my aging mother at home, my high school age daughter in school, my son in his first month of Navy boot camp.

  But I was at work. — and WE COULD BE NEXT!!!!”

 Yes, Buffalo is 20 miles south of a major power plant located in Niagara Falls, NY – but really. I was attending additional training at my employer when the attack happened and left for home around 12:30pm. I will admit to having had some trepidation going down into the subway system, but I’ve always had the attitude that ‘hey! we’re all going to die. I could get killed crossing the street – a car could come out of nowhere and squish me. So, why worry?’ As to my reaction of the attacks – hell, of course, I was shocked and I cried. But I certainly didn’t carry on like Chicken Little. When I got home, my husband had only just gotten out of bed (yes, he used to sleep in on his days off from work, and now that he’s retired, he sleeps til noon. Because I am a night shift worker, and sleep during the day, he keeps the same schedule that I do – so we can be together. But we’re not talking about me – we’re talking about Joan, so let’s get back to her newly revised version of September 11. Let’s see, what point did I want to bring up next? Oh yes, the extra verbiage!

 Extra verbiage – people were gathered in huddles. Joan straightened in her chair. Joan SNAPPED to crisis team mode. People SCURRIED AROUND to find a TV. They must have looked like hamsters or gerbils with all that scurrying.  Compare the two descriptions of watching the news on a older TV set after a set was found after much scurrying:

The 2009 description:“The director found a small black and white TV set with an antenna. She put it on a table in the front of the phone room for the phone counselors. We watched the news with a fuzzy picture, or even just the sound.”

The 2014 account:“Our two directors scurried around the main office to find a TV. We had an old black and white TV, not cable ready, and placed it in a small table at the front of the room. No picture. Only sound. Sound muffled through the static. We heard the morning progress, but could not see the News unfold.”

 Wow – not only did the director increase herself to two people, (The director found a small black and white TV … 2009) (Our two directors scurried around the main office to find a TV …. 2014), but the TV reception changed from being a fuzzy picture or no picture but with sound – to NO picture, only sound in 2014. AND the extra verbiage – Sound muffled through the static. We heard the morning progress, but could not see the News unfold.” – but, but, didn’t Joan say this in 2009? – “We watched the news with a fuzzy picture, or even just the sound.”

 So which is it Joan? Did you WATCH the news or not? Okay readers, this may seem like a really small point here, that I’m nitpicking about – but I’m setting this up – so you can see how Joan CHANGES THE FACTS AROUND TO SUIT HER. AND DEPENDING ON WHO SHE KNOWS IS READING WHAT SHE WRITES — AND I’m preparing you for the biggest contradiction of all –

from the 2009 version of the FACTS:
Toward the middle of the afternoon, we were flooded with calls from people wanting to donate blood and to organize a drive to Ground Zero.

 from the 2014 version of the FACTS:

But the morning was slow as calls surprisingly did not come in. Perhaps the city was glued to their TV sets. We had our usual repeat callers. And dead space.

 Okay, she says the morning was slow, but in the 2014 version, she does not even mention the afternoon. Hmmm, I wonder why? Because she says so – right on Facebook:
Only one of those people with whom I worked on September 11, 2001, is a Facebook friend today.
Joan KNOWS better than to play fast and loose with the FACTS with someone who was there that day – someone who is A PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR. And he confirms the 2014 version –

Michael O. – Funny thing about that day…I remember it being fairly quiet on the phone lines.

 But – there’s still that 2009 version of the FACTS – which are quite different than the 2014 version – so that means that JOAN DID INDEED LIE IN HER 2009 BOOK AND THAT IS WHY THAT BOOK IS DEAD.- Because she said in 2009 that they were FLOODED WITH CALLS – but Michael says it was fairly quiet on the phone lines.

MY, MY, MY JOAN – YOU GOT TRIPPED UP THERE. STICK TO THE TRUTH ALWAYS, AND YOU’LL NEVER GET TRIPPED UP!

page 372

Joan 911a

joan 911b

joan911c

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.1. gertmcqueenSeptember 19, 2014

Gert here…excellent presentation of evidence
I would also point people’s attention to the first paragraph of the copy from the book…Joan’s self assessment of her symptoms of mental illness! If she was trying to prove something…that adoption caused her life to be a torment…why did she WRITE about it? Where were all those mental health experts she KNEW and went to? Didn’t anyone every HELP her? No…because Joan is an exaggerator and a manipulator and a liar!

.

 

 

 

Joan Wheeler LIES again – about her “employment” credentials! August 12, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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Joan Wheeler LIES again – about her “employment” credentials!

 Today, August 12, 2014, Joan writes this about the suicide of Robin Williams:

 “As a former suicide prevention and survivor counselor, this is hitting me pretty hard. “

 What a lying bitch! She NEVER worked as a suicide prevention and survivor counselor, she has gone on record on the internet to say that she worked as a VOLUNTEER answering telephones at the Crisis Services Center –

She has also said in her book and on the internet that she herself has considered suicide. She had expressed suicidal thoughts to me in person in 1986. How the hell can she talk someone out of killing themselves when she herself is so fucked up.

 Joan routinely engages in “resume padding” all over the place. She has not had gainful employment since the mid 90’s when she worked for a short time as a skip tracer for a private investigator. Her ex-husband has said that one of the reasons they got a divorce was because she refused to “get off her lazy ass and get a job.”

She did go to college to get a social work degree, but HAS NEVER WORKED A DAY IN HER LIFE AS A SOCIAL WORKER, despite her saying all over the internet that she has, and is. At the same time that she claims to BE a social worker, she admits to be receiving Social Security Disability because she CANNOT WORK DUE TO HER MULTIPLE PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS!

 Joan Wheeler is nothing but a lying sack of shit.

 

1. gertmcqueenAugust 12, 2014 [Edit]

Gert here…
Joan is currently resume padding and using the death of Robin Williams for SHOW. She has a NEW love, so she HAS to present to this sucker that she has the knowledge and know-how, that she FEELS. What a bunch of BS!

Joan has been on the look out for a NEW LOVE ever since that last NEW LOVE turned out to be a drunk and abusive…gosh only last year! And so, she is enthralled with a NEW NEW LOVE and is all gushy with her vast experiences…NOT.

Joan NEEDS someone to fix her house, help pay her bills, cause she doesn’t have any $$ and she needs to be fucked every so often and so since that last one ‘bit the dust’ she’s been FIRST in isolation, licking her self-inflicted wounds, and SECOND getting out there, leaving her REAL love of adoption reform, on the door step UNTIL she found a new SUCKER.

Oh I forgot…she NEEDS someone to cover the cost of the publishing of her NEW AND IMPROVED MEMOIR. Can we say SUCKER?

 

Joan Wheeler continues to drag me into her useless conversations about adoption problems! August 12, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Today, on facebook, Joan writes, in a discussion about a book (not her own piece of shit libelous mouthings of raving lunacy, but somebody else’s book:

 Joan M Wheeler (to) Hilbrand W.S. Westra – “you are so very right. I noticed this, too, but didn’t say so publicly as the author is a friend of mine. I think she knows exactly the point you make. And yes, we need to stop pointing fingers at adoptees as the source of our own problems. Adoption itself is the problem from which all others stem. HOWEVER, for many adoptees, like me, who are half orphans or full orphans, one or both of our parents actually did die. That problem was fully discussed by Ken Watson (RIP) at an AAC conference circa 1990. I was dissolved to tears, yet, our good friend, René Hoksbergen nudged me forward to talk with Ken that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings, compounded by adoption soon afterward. And yes, compounded by adopters’ ignorance and willful deception.”

 okay, in this discussion that I really don’t have any interest in, – she SLAMS her birth siblings again by saying “…that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings …”

 Excuse me Joan, I most certainly do NOT have any lifelong problems due to the death of my mother. WHERE is your evidence that I have lifelong problems? I”M not the one constantly harassing people, YOU are. I’M not the one on Social Security Disability because of “psychological problems” – YOU are. I’M not the one who bounces from man to man and has an alchohol problem – That’s YOU. I’M not the one who has been in therapy for more 30 years – YOU are. — The three times I requested counseling – 1. grief counseling after miscarrying my son, 2. seeking advice on PTSD in Veteran’s, as my husband has nightmares due to his years in Vietnam, and 3. overload of stress in 2003 after my husband’s open heart surgery, and the deaths of 6 family members in rapid succession, beginning in the end of July 2003 to the middle of October 2003 and my father’s open heart surgery two and a half months after my husband’s surgery. In all three times – I went to only THREE therapy sessions, lasting only an hour each time – (three hours of therapy for Ruth, compared to years and years for Joan) – and each therapist told me that I was a well-adjusted person. SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH ABOUT ME JOAN.

 Earlier today, in response to a facebook post by the comic magazine Cracked about the suicide of Robin Williams, I wrote the following:

 “Cracked.com says: ‘Every time they make a joke around you, they’re doing it because they instinctively and reflexively think that’s what they need to do to make you like them. They’re afraid that the moment the laughter stops, all that’s left is that gross, awkward kid everyone hated on the playground.’

 (my response) – well, I was the gross, awkward kid on the playground that nobody liked and everybody bullied. I have scars from the bullying. I just turned 62 and there are times I remember the names and it still hurts. But I took life on and said “fuck this shit.” I turned my ugly duckling younger self – the one the other girls in school called ugly and became a graceful belly dancer. I became a health care worker because I have compassion.

 I will never commit suicide, because that would be giving in. I will never poison my body with stupid drugs. I will never turn a gun on myself (or others). I will never hang myself. I try new things. I wish I had more money to try more new things. I want to see more of the world. It’s such a beautiful and exciting world – I want to see Paris, Rome, Athens, Rio de Janieros – the Great Wall of China – the tomb of Tutankhamun –

I’m sorry that Robin took the route he did. I loved him as an actor and comedian. I wish he had not done what he did.”

 I also wrote this last night regarding the speculation that Robin Williams depression may have been linked to his heart disease and surgery, and he was feeling vulnerable:

 “John had heart surgery in 2003. He was not, is not depressed. Nor does he take drugs, nor does he drink. We both have an occasional beer or wine.

 Robin Williams said that he felt “vulnerable.” Not sure what he meant by that. Every surgery can be potentially dangerous. Lots of people go thru surgery every day all over the world.

 We can’t be inside another human’s head to figure out what is going on. All I can do is comment from my own experiences. I’ve had several surgeries, and came out not feeling vulnerable. And so has John – and John was scared shitless. Imagine not ever having surgery before – and your very first surgery is heart surgery. Perhaps John has a strong will – after all, he was a Navy Seal in Vietnam for six years. Takes a special kind of man for that job.

 Life is tough. Ya gotta meet it head on. Or get plowed under. I refuse to get plowed under. “

 AND before learning about Robin Williams’ suicide, I had just written the following rebuttal to actor Russell Brand’s “excuse” for drug abuse:

 “I disagree – everybody knows by now how harmful drugs are. You are not born with drugs in your system – YOU made the conscious decision to PUT the drugs into your body. Everybody knows these substances are highly addictive – but, YOU chose to put them into your body. If this “illness” causes you to steal your own mother’s rent money (I know someone on my street who did that) or do the shit my exBFF did to me – and you see these things happening again and again to people in your neighborhood, you read about the theft and violence and greed that taking and selling drugs does not only to the user, but those around them – WHY would you even start taking that shit? I am 62 years old, and outside of smoking some weed, I have NEVER taken drugs, don’t want to take that shit and will never be a drug addict – not even to prescription pain pills, because I take those guys for needed pain relief, then wean myself off that shit.

 My body is my temple – the only bad shit I put into it is coffee, pizza and chocolate – IN MODERATION – and they don’t cause me to steal from people, lie to my loved ones, or treat my loved ones like shit.

 STAY THE FUCK OFF DRUGS”

The only problems I have right now – are dealing with the fact that Joan REFUSES to stop dragging me into her crap. – Shut the fuck up about me Joan.

never give up

This is what I live by – NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER. Joan on the other hand, dissolves into tears, gets the shakes, is overwhelmed, is stunned, is shocked and runs to the bottle. (her own words in her stupid book and on various places on the internet).

And check out this other recent development from Joan’s lying mouth. 

 

Joan Wheeler LIES again – about her “employment” credentials!

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1. gertmcqueenAugust 12, 2014 [Edit]

Gert here…

Joan Wheeler said…
“…that for me, the loss of my mother to an unfortunate early death was the beginning of lifelong problems for me and my siblings …”

Since when does she get the right to diagnosis ANYONE’s problems! She is NOT qualified to state that her siblings have ANY PROBLEMS. While the loss of OUR mother caused each of us PAIN, it does not equate to having ‘lifelong problems’. Joan knows NOTHING about my life, period. What ever she thinks she knows…is in and comes from her diseased mind!

From the MOMENT that Joan was reunited with the birth family, it was SHE that created ALL THE PROBLEMS. It was SHE who said I was WRONG to ADOPT my own son, that I was an unfit mother, and more. It was SHE who called false child abuse upon me, twice.It was SHE who REFUSED to go to mediation to SOLVE the problems BETWEEN US. It was SHE who asked my grown daughter to COMMIT A CRIME for her! It was SHE who continuously REFUSED to leave me and others alone.

It was SHE who wrote a libelous book BECAUSE everyone HURT HER! And SHE imagined getting rich and famous on the backs of family and friends! Every time SHE speaks SHE insults and drags the siblings in the dirt!

And that is why we siblings have blogs…where the TRUTH comes out.

 

attention Joan Wheeler: THERE CAN NOT BE A REVISED EDITION OF THE TRUTH! June 26, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
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Joan Wheeler has been making overtures about a newly revised edition of her libelous book Forbidden Family. I got some things to say about that. I put them on facebook and had a couple of responses. Here is the facebook exchanges, and as a bonus, I have copied a couple of tweets I sent out. 

Joan Wheeler is trying to publish a revised version of her libelous book

 THERE CAN NOT BE A REVISED EDITION OF THE TRUTH! – Because when Joan signed a contract with Trafford Publishers to have her book published, she told them that everything in it was the TRUTH. When she began promoting that book, she said on various places on the internet that her book was the TRUTH. But in reading that book, I found many lies in it – and I still had documentation that PROVED what Joan wrote in her book was FALSE. That documentation was sent to Trafford and their legal department saw that Joan LIED to them and they pulled the book.

 So – now Joan is REVISING her book. Now tell me Joan – if it is necessary to REVISE it, then it WASN’T THE TRUTH like you said it was.

 Liar.

IF she succeeds in getting that book out – by herself – that means SHE and she alone is responsible for the content – and this time around, we have a lawyer. This time around, I will take her to court. I am not playing with the psycho-bitch. And she let the door open this time. By harassing me in calling my job November 2012 with lies about computer fraud (which I was exonerated from) – she tried to get me fired, then in January 2013 she admitted it on the internet – USING her screen name of Forbidden Family – any more published lies about me will show a pattern of slander/libel against me. And that published book (the 2009 edition) that had PROVABLE lies about me will show her true intent – to slander and harass me. 

facebook responses:

J.w. — “Just contact whoever markets the book for her. Send them copies of any court orders concerning the first one. No one will want to be involved.” 

M.H.R. — “She better not be lying about my Dad again!!!!” 

N.H.T. — “She better not say one word about my Mother or Father again or she will be looking over her shoulder, because if I catch her she will be Died (sic) meat !!!” 

Gert Mcqueen — this time around, Joan is really doing a ‘self-publishing’ venture. She’s doing all the lay-outs on her own, she cut out the middle-men and their lawyers. Some how she’ll have to figure out HOW to get it published that costs $$$, something she doesn’t have, unless and until she gets another man! but that’s another story. Joan wants the book(s) to produce an income, she’s on NY disability, and she wants fame/fortune on the backs of both adoptive and birth families, been there done that and we birth sisters GOT that libelous book pulled. We shall do it again 

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace — there were no court orders regarding the first book – we got it pulled from publication by sending documented proof of the libel to the publisher. And their legal department investigated and determined that yes, Joan DID lie. And as you surmise, they didn’t want to be sued, so they pulled the book. 

marketing agents will be notified, lest they want to be involved in a lawsuit. I’m going after ANY one who supports a book or publication that says that I have a criminal record when I have none. 

Joan Wheeler currently belongs to a local writers group – Northside Writers Group – and if they are helping her – they will be sued as well. 

and here are a couple of tweets I sent out: 

if Northside Writers Group is producing/marketing slander by Joan Wheeler against me, they will be sued.@FredTomaselloJr @forbiddenfamily 

documented proof of her libel against me resulted in first book being pulled from publication. I have lawyer on standby @FredTomaselloJr 

any person/company producing/marketing libelous books by Joan Wheeler will be named in my lawsuit against Joan Wheeler. @FredTomaselloJr

No, Joan Wheeler, you can’t have anything in life that you want. You can’t have my life. May 16, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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 no you can't

I disagree – there are things in life you can NOT have. A dead parent brought back. A reversal of one’s adoption. Someone’s else’s property. Someone else’s life.

For example, my adopted out sister Joan Wheeler, despite being 58 years old, is STILL not accepting that after her mother died, she was given up for adoption and her birth sisters were not. She still can’t accept that five years after being reunited with her, we laid down boundaries, which she disrespected. She lied to us, stole goods and money from us, manipulated us, caused many problems. After she was told to leave us, she refused – and has been at us ever since – much harassments, telling lies about us in a book, in person, and on the internet. Calling my job with false accusations, trying to get me fired, (Nov. 2012) and bragging about it on the internet (Jan. 3013).

Joan refuses to fix her life, because she is a loser. Instead, she wants my life. She has in the past tried to destroy my life, my marriage, my career. WHY? Because she’s a bitch.

NO JOAN – YOU CANNOT HAVE CERTAIN THINGS IN LIFE – YOU CAN’T HAVE ME OR MY LIFE.  And as much as you keep bitching that you were adopted and wish you hadn’t been – guess what? – FACE THE TRUTH – YOU WERE ADOPTED AND THAT’S THAT. ACCEPT IT AND STOP KILLING YOURSELF OVER SOMETHING YOU CAN’T CHANGE! 

You also can’t change the fact that I hate you – and no, it isn’t because Mom died – I HATE YOU BECAUSE OF THE SHIT HARASSMENTS YOU HAVE DONE TO ME. Just because another namby-pamby judge pooh-poohed your STALKING me by calling my job trying to get me fired a year and a half ago, doesn’t erase the fact that that is what you did – WHY? Why do you so want me to get fired? You tried in the past to get me fired. WHY? Because you are jealous of me – I was not adopted and you were. Well too fucking bad sweetheart. That’s just too damn fucking bad. Go fuck off. 

charlie

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no, Joan Wheeler and friends, you can’t argue against or about facts. May 15, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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I found this meme on facebook – and it fits right in this blog.

FACTS DEBATE

so – have I ever been in this kind of debate? – absolutely – with those friends of Joan Wheeler who simply cannot think that Joan lies about me – despite me posting actual court documents that prove that she did lie. I call those people ASSHOLES. Assholes like Mara Rigge, Brian Maloney, Dana Sielhan, Lori Corangelo, Russell Thomas, Heather Holmes.

People – FACTS ARE FACTS AND CANNOT BE CHANGED, NO MATTER HOW MUCH A PERSON LIES ABOUT THEM. And if you can’t figure that out – I call you a delusional asshole.

And I see I titled this post wrong because, Joan and your idiot friends – you can’t argue AGAINST facts. Facts are facts. Two plus two equals four. Joan Wheeler is the evil person, NOT her birth sisters. If you can’t accept the facts and the truth that Joan Wheeler is a liar, a thief, a bitch, a trouble-maker, a filthy gossiper, you are delusional idiots.

That last frame – where the guy gives up – that’s what Joan does to a person – she will harp and harp on you, scream at you, wear you down, until you fucking give up – because she’s a dam control freak. But she doesn’t control me. After more than 25 years of being silenced by her – my truth – THE FACTS OF WHO HARASSED WHOM AND WHAT WAS DONE AND WHO THE REAL FUCKING LIAR IS – is coming out via this blog. Joan Wheeler can’t silence me anymore. And she can’t stand that. oh too bad.

1. gertmcqueenMay 16, 2014

Gert here…I wrote a four parter on Facts are Stubborn Things…they are here on Ruth’s blog on Nov 10, 2010

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/11/10/

Joan Wheeler tries to destroy my life, instead of fixing her own miserable life. April 25, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
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I want everyone to really look at this meme and really digest what it says:

 destroy 

Now, let’s apply this to what Joan Wheeler has done to me. 

1990 stole hundreds of dollars from me by dipping into a joint checking account that we had together for the purpose of buying real estate. Joan used MY money to fix the brakes on HER car – without asking me. A refund from the lawyer we used was split between Joan and me – Joan agreed to give me all the money the lawyer sent her to compensate me for the money she stole. In December 1990 she phoned me and said she changed her mind and was keeping the money. I told her to go fuck herself and get the fuck out of my life. 

1991 Joan begins her campaign to destroy my life. She calls my house and speaks to my husband’s cousin who was living with us at the time. Joyce scribbled a note to me to go on the bedroom phone and listen in. I heard lies, lies, lies – and later, Joyce said that Joan was trying to turn her against me.

Joan’s husband at this time, was being a bad boy – he was making ATM withdrawals from the checking account he had with Joan and was using the money at a strip joint. Joan accused me of hacking into her checking account by robbing the ATM and stealing the money.  

1992 out of the clear blue sky – greeting cards supposedly from Joan’s children suddenly began arriving at my house – for my husband “Uncle John” but clearly omitting Aunt Ruth – Joan begins brainwashing her own children. 

1993 Joan gets an annoyance phone call and blames me – calls the phone company to set up a trace trap (pre caller-ID days). To bait me into calling her, she forges a letter from her son – addresses the envelope in her handwriting to me, but the letter inside – written by Joan, but she signs it as her 10 year old son. I stupidly took the bait and called her. But she says, “hold on a minute” and hangs up. Thinking we were disconnected, I called back. She says “wait a minute” again and hangs up. I call again – same thing. I gave up. But Joan calls the phone company and files a police report that I called her and hung up on her – three times. Which is all they need to file charges. Joan LIED AND FILED A FALSE POLICE REPORT ON ME. Phone records at that time did show three short incoming calls from my number. They don’t show who hung up on whom! So we went to court and the judge gave her a restraining order against me – dated August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. I know the date cos it was my birthday – August 9 – and still have the court documents. 

1994 – a typing mistake made by a billing clerk in the billing office where I work mixed Joan’s hospital bill up with a patient with a similar name. Joan claimed I did it. She called my job with a complaint. They investigated and traced the mistake to the typing mistake. They also told Joan that I could NOT have done it, as I don’t have access to the billing computers. Joan wasn’t going to have it – she KNEW I did it – and for six months – an almost daily basis – kept calling the hospital and telling anyone who answered the phone that I was a bitch and a troublemaker. She told numerous people to fire me. – I was told later about this and hospital administrators even had a meeting and people were told that when Joan Wheeler called to hang up on her. 

December 1994 – Joan calls child abuse on herself, posing as me, giving out my name, and naming my husband as a child molester of Joan’s children. Joan writes to New York State Child Abuse center and tells them that in 1993 I was sentenced to six months PROBATION. No – I was sentenced to a six month order of protection and told to stay away from Joan – and it was ACD – Adjournment on Consideration of Dismissal – which means that if I stayed away from Joan for six months, and I did, it would all be dismissed – and it was. BIG DIFFERENCE FROM WHAT PROBATION IS.

January 1995 – Joan writes several letters to elected officials in the city of Buffalo, including the mayor – these letters contained personal and medical information about me, and tells them that I have a criminal record. Joan sends me copies of these letters, which I use to charge her with harassment, but the judge dismisses the charges, saying “sisters should get along.” When Joan received the summons to court, she begins writing letters to my husband and his mother telling them I am a bitch, John should leave me, and asks my mother in law to appear in court against me. My mother in law had never met Joan. Joan kept calling her on the phone until her other son grabbed the phone and swore at Joan that if she called the house again, the police would be called.

 1997 – Joan asks friends of hers to find a hitman to take me out.  

1998 – I received a harassing letter from Joan stating that I was seen driving past her house. I did not have a car at the time so no, I did not drive past her house. I was also accused of violating the order of protection that she had put against me five years earlier – which was the first time I had heard of that – and she had not said that when I took her to court in 1995. 

February 1999 – Joan sends me a letter stating that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant and they had a baby girl in 1994. The house was vacant – and since 1987 (when I moved into my house) there were only two babies born at the house next to me – DJ in 1990 and Jesse in 1992.The letter Joan sends me is in an envelope with a return address belonging to a friend that Joan is fighting with. She does not have permission to use her friend’s address. I take Joan to court again for harassment and am granted a one year order of protection against Joan. 

January 2004 – after a few months of relative friendly interaction on the internet via a family photo sharing website that I was trying to build, Joan sends me a filthy email (out of the clear blue sky) accusing me of setting her up. I did not have a home computer at the time, and would use public computers at the downtown library or the medical library at my work (which we were allowed to use). I was out sick for a week in January and did not see Joan’s rotten email. It got buried and I finally saw a few weeks later – and I answered her and told her that our uneasy truce was not going to work because she falsely accused me of something I didn’t do. She emails me back – bitching at me – so I told her via email to go to hell. 

November 2009 – Joan goes to a vanity press to have the book she had been writing for 30 years published. In it were many lie, distortions and misrepresentations of myself, my family, my husband. And out and out libel. Statements that the order of protection that she received against me was for one year, not the six months it actually was for. 

Summer 2012 – tells a friend of hers – one Brian Maloney old gossip about me having a fight with someone back in 1979. Joan tells Brian so much bullshit about me that Brian himself begins to cyber-harass me and even stoops to emotional blackmail by threatening to expose my “dark dirty secret” on the internet. I stood up to his abusive threats by telling him to go right ahead and say what he wants – but the police and the courts would be very interested in how a man who is a total stranger to Ruth, never spoke to Ruth face to face, knows Ruth’s “dark dirty secret.” Brian backs off. – So once again, Joan is trying to ruin my reputation.

November 2012 – writes an anonymous letter to my job accusing me of computer fraud and demands that I be fired.

January 2013 – admits on the internet that she indeed sent that letter and then says that I’ve been calling her house from my job to set up medical appointments for her. 

So let’s sum up the rotten shit Joan has done:

1990 – steals money from me, reneges on repayment plan.

1991 – tries to turn my husband’s cousin against me, accuses me of robbing an ATM.

1992 – begins to use her children as pawns to turn my husband against me. And begins to brainwash her children against me.

1993 – sets me up by baiting me to telephone her house, hangs up on me 3 times, then files a false report on me and hauls me into court.

1994 – begins calling my job with false accusations to have me fired. – Calls child abuse posing as me, trying to get my husband to break up with me. Writes letter to New York State libeling me.

1995 – continues calling my job trying to get me fired, Writes libelous letters about me to various elected officials. Writes to my mother in law, trying to turn her against me. Writes to my husband telling him to leave me.

1997 – tries to get me killed.

1998 – writes stupid harassing letters to me.

1999 – writes to me telling me my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant.

2004 – falsely accuses me of things I didn’t do.

2009 – publishes a libelous book that portrays me as criminal.

2012 – contacts my job again to get me fired. Continues to try to ruin my reputation by having a friend of hers threaten me with emotional blackmail.

 So — Joan has a history of trying to destroy me personally, trying to destroy my reputation with elected officials and personal friends and in-laws, trying to destroy my relationship with my fiance and my marriage. And trying to destroy my career. 

What did that picture say again? – “you know how to tell when someone is miserable with their own life? When they look for ways to destroy someone else’s.” 

Joan Wheeler is so miserable in her own rotten life, that instead of trying to fix her own life, she has set out for almost 24 years – to destroy my life. 

That’s why I have this blog – to show the world what a bitch Joan is – and to show that she has not, and never will – destroy me.

  1. gertmcqueenApril 26, 2014

Gert here…
And Ruth is only ONE person that Joan did wrong!

Joan interfered with my minor children and my adoption of my children. She called two false child abuse reports against me. She accused my husband of wrong doings. In between DECADES of no-contract with her Joan would CONTINUE to attempt to interfere with my life.

Joan violated our privacy by writing an article that included our real names.

Joan violated our other sister Kathy’s relationships with friends. Joan enlisted Rene Hoksbergen to intimidate Kathy and con monies from her.

Joan attempted to enlist my grown daughter to commit a crime for her.

Joan wrote a libelous book against EVERY member of the birth family.

Joan Wheeler is garbage! And that’s why we have these blogs…to tell the saga of Joan Wheeler’s deeds.

2. RuthApril 27, 2014

Gert speaks truth – Joan Wheeler is garbage!

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The “Truth” does not lie in the middle – the Truth is simply the Truth – a lesson for Joan Wheeler and her puppets (Laura Heath, Brian Maloney, Mara Rigge) April 12, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Lessons in Life.
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My facebook buddy, David Gerrold, wrote this this evening:

“The truth is not in the middle. The truth is where the truth is. Sometimes it’s not even between the two extremes. Sometimes it’s in another place entirely.

You can move the middle by stretching one side or the other, but the truth does not move when the middle does. People who say “the truth is somewhere in the middle” are admitting they’re too lazy to do their research.

And those who insist on moving the middle are admitting — if not to themselves — that their argument is flawed.”

And I wrote these two responses:

“I have to add that phrase “they’re too lazy to do their research” to those who say “there are two sides to every story.” – Not when the truth is the truth. for example, on my blog, I have posted actual court documents that tell the truth – which was not told in a libelous book that slammed my reputation – and I am continually amazed that the author’s supporters keep saying that the book was her side of the story. If her side of the story is completely different than actual court documents, then it is a lie, a fabrication, and certainly not the truth.

Little trivia like what shoes were worn, exact time, etc. is one thing, but when there are huge discrepencies in two people’s stories, and documented proof is provided, and a third person comes along and doesn’t even look at the proof, then declares that each person’s telling of the tale is their perception, I call that third person lazy.”

So any person who comes to me and tells me that Joan’s book is her perception of what happened is a damn fool. Joan blatantly changed facts around – and facts cannot be changed. She knows damn well that the order of protection she obtained against me in 1993 was for six months, yet she wrote in her book that it was for one year. And it is not the result of faulty memory – she wrote a letter to New York State officials in December 1994 and told them I was sentenced to six months probation. Which I was not – the actual court documents are available on this blog – anyone who fails to do their research and has the nerve to tell ME the FACTS of what I lived through, is a fool. I have in my possession the actual court documents, and I have scanned them on this blog – and they prove that Joan Wheeler is a liar. 

Go to this post “here are the court documents that prove that Joan Wheeler is a liar – January 17, 2013 ” to see the court documents that I am talking about – if you are too lazy to go look at them, I have to wonder what kind of fool you are – and what kind of brainless idiot you are that you refuse to even consider that your little buddy Joan Wheeler is a liar and that I, her rotten birth sister just may be telling the truth. You just don’t want to admit that you backed the wrong horse and were made a fool of. That’s your problem, not mine.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend Joan Wheeler and Laura – snakes. April 4, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Joan’s buddy Laura somehow gained custody of her grand daughter, and is now raising her, as her own daughter, not grand daughter,AND REFUSES TO LET THE CHILD’S REAL BIO-MOM NEAR HER.

And because Joan actively remains Laura’s “friend”she is condoning the very behavior of bio-moms who destroy their children’s lives, by adoption, lies, deceit. Which shows that Joan is a hypocrite.

 “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”oh so very true when it comes to Little Girl Laura Stickney-Heath, who for some reason, when she was a fellow nurse’s aide with me a few years ago, took a dis-liking to me. No skin off my back. But what mystifies me is WHY she would actively go out of her way to do things to me. When it became apparent that Laura was NO friend to me, I booted her off my facebook page –which I have EVERY right to do so. Within two weeks, Laura, who only knew of Joan because of my bitching about her at work, and showing that libelous book around, actively sought out Joan on facebook and the two agreed to be facebook buddies. Occasionally Laura will make overtures to Joan about “going out to coffee”but I rarely see evidence that the two actually DO go out. If they do –that’s their business and since they are both snakes, they have every right to twine thier little girl gossipy forked tongues together.
I just think it
’s fucking funny that these two bitches have NOTHING in common except their dislike of Ruth.
And back in July 2013, Laura had her husband Tom come creeping around on my facebook page and I outed them in this post:

I am outing Thomas D. Heath and Laura J. Stickney Heath as stalkers and troublemakers. August 5, 2013

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2013/08/05/i-am-outing-thomas-d-heath-and-laura-j-stickney-heath-as-stalkers-and-troublemakers/

And because of that post, Laura’s first biological daughter contacted me and gave me the skinny on Laura –but I knew part of the story anyway. Seems as though Laura is raising her biological granddaughter. AND IS PASSING THAT GRAND DAUGHTER OFF AS HER OWN DAUGHTER LYING TO THE GIRL. Now, isn’t this what anti-adoption people like Joan are against? Joan herself has gone on and on CONDEMNING GRANDPARENTS WHO ADOPT AND PASS THEIR GRANDCHILDREN OFF AS THEIR CHILDREN! Joan has gone on record that she HATES people like that yet, hypocrite that Joan is, she remains “friend”with Laura Stickney-Heath.

AND since I’ve seen the birth certificate, um amended deceitful birth certificate that is of Laura’s first born daughter –I know the shit that Laura did.
When Laura was 16 years old, she got pregnant with an older Native American man and had a daughter. A couple of years later
Laura marries Tom. Tom legally adopted Laura’s first child. The girl’s birth certificate (amended, deceitful one) says that she is the birth daughter of Laura and Tom. Laura and Tom did EXACTLY what Gert and her second husband did adopt Gert’s own birth son as their own –an event that Joan was all up in arms about! But Joan is NOT condemning Laura for this? Why not? oh yes, because Gert is one of Joan’s birth-sisters. And EVERY thing Joan’s birth sisters do is bad, evil, and worthy of contempt. But – let someone else do the very same thing that Gert did – and Joan says nothing. WHY IS THIS? Because Joan HATES us – because SHE was given up for adoption and WE were not.

Anyways, back to Laura and Tom’s sordid house –When Laura and Tom had a daughter together, they placed the first daughter in a foster home. She was 7 years old and was kicked out of the family. Why? Because Laura claimed the girl “ruined her life.”Later, when the first daughter had a child, Laura somehow (and I’m not sure what happened), gained custody of her grand daughter, and is now raising her, as I said above, as her own daughter, not grand daughter, AND REFUSES TO LET THE CHILD’S REAL BIO-MOM NEAR HER.

What a sordid mess. And it’s really none of my business –but since Laura seems to determined to be in MY life, via Joan, then turn-about is fair play.

And because Joan actively remains Laura’s “friend”she is condoning the very behavior of bio-moms who destroy their children’s lives, by adoption, lies, deceit. Which shows that Joan is a hypocrite.

A letter I wrote to Joan Wheeler, 10 years before her book came out- warning her not use my name or picture – and the bitch did it anyway. March 26, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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I just found a gem of a letter that I wrote to Joan in April 1999 – to answer the bitch’s letter to me in February 1999 that my then fiancé (now husband) John got the next door neighbor pregnant. Pay close attention to the paragraph that I highlighted in bold – I told her back in 1999 that she did not have permission to use my name or likeness in her book – 10 years later, in 2009, she may have changed my name, but she left plenty of clues as to my name AND USED MY PICTURE ON THE BACK OF HER BOOK – and that is why her book got pulled from publication.

Ms. Joan Wheeler

1 C Drive,

Kenmore, New York 14223

April 20, 1999,

My Dear Joni,

  I think that there a couple of things that need to be clarified. First, the notion that you have that I am wallowing in bitterness and negativity regarding the death of my mother and your existence.

  I do not nor have I ever blamed you for Mom’s death. When we found you I was truly happy. And to this day there are times I truly miss you. I miss the good times we had going to the beach, and two or three years ago, when Channel 17 showed a Moody Blues concert I thought that it would have been great watching it with you. I cried because I couldn’t.

  I don’t know why you tend to get things mixed up. The first time I called you (the famous “bowling” call), it was at 2 P.M. from a dental office in the Brisbane Building that Gert worked at. It was a Tuesday. The dentist Gert worked for always took Tuesday afternoons off, but Gert had clerical work to do. I was neither drunk, nor panicky when I called you, and I did not end the call with a bunch of giggles. I remember practically every word I said to you as if I had just placed the call five minutes ago.

  And yes, I did not take very good care of Mom’s wedding dress in the beginning. But you did not return it by throwing it at my feet and yelling at me. And the year you returned it was 1983, not 1978. And I never got the beads back. So if I originally did not take good care of the dress, you also had a hand in “disrespecting” it.

  Where did you get the idea that my grandfather molested and murdered his first born son Richard? Who told you that? If anyone did, they are lying. Richard died of diptheria.

  And the idea that my father molested us? Where does this stuff come from? Let me set you straight right here and now, MY FATHER DID NOT MOLEST ME OR MY SISTERS. Kathy kicked him in the balls because that is the most effective place to kick a guy. And that was because Dad stormed into our bedroom with his “Big Daddy” routine. Kathy was getting dressed. She had on slacks and was starting to put on her blouse and yelled at Dad because he saw her in her bra. He yelled back at her “I made you, I can look at you. Now get downstairs and clean up that mess.” Dad was too mad to be thinking about her boobs!

  The evening before, our brother Butch was on the phone with his friend George. Kathy came in and wanted to use the phone. Butch said no, cause the last time she said it was important, she ended up calling her girlfriend Pat and told her some new gossip about the Beatles. This time, Butch refused to give up the phone. Kathy reached over and tried to hang up the hook on the wall phone. Butch got up and the next thing you know, the two of them were going at it. John and I were watching from the dining room, George heard it over the phone. Dishes were broken, food ended up on the floor. Then Kathy stormed out of the house. Shortly afterwards, Butch left too, leaving me and John with the mess. Which of course, we did not touch. When Dad came home, we told him what happened and when the guilty parties came home, they were told that they were going to get up the next morning at 6:00 and clean it up. And sure enough, 6:00 the next morning (a Saturday), Dad came upstairs and woke Kathy up. She got up, went to the bathroom and came back upstairs. She was taking her time getting dressed, I could hear Dad downstairs yelling at her to get down there and clean the mess up. I didn’t see him, but Butch tells me that at this point, he was already in the kitchen cleaning. Kathy kept dawdling, Dad was getting madder and madder and that’s when he came up to our room.

  Since you were raised as an only child, the above scenario would seem alien to you. But it happens all the time when you get brothers and sisters together. Real life ain’t like The Brady Bunch. I remember our cousins Gail and Norman going at it too! And since I spent so much time there, I was involved in a few brawls with them. One time Aunt Catherine broke in the bathroom door after Gail locked herself in to avoid a thrashing.

    It is my understanding that you plan to use my true name and photograph in your book. Well, I am hereby serving you notice that if you do, and you keep that reference of me being drunk when I called, you will be served with a lawsuit for invading my privacy and portraying me as a drunk. You do not nor have ever had my permission to use my name or like ness. And you had better not even of publishing that garbage about my grandfather and father. I don’t like it one bit when I find that strangers are reading that my grand father is a murderer and my father is a molestor. There is no truth to these “speculations” of yours and that is just what they are-speculations of your warped mind.

  You were hopping mad when two doctors wrote an article about your daughter’s medical condition in a medical journal, claiming that your privacy was invaded. You want YOUR privacy protected, but what about Gert and Kathy’s privacy? It is up to THEM to tell anyone about their childhood NOT YOU! And what about MY privacy? Who gave you the right to send a “detailed family history” (your version of it) to Commissioner Deborah Merrifield of Social Services? Where was MY privacy when you wrote to the Director of Patient Accounts of Buffalo General Hospital and told him MY personal medical history and MY marital status? What do those two things have to do with YOUR erroneous hospital bill? And where do you get off repeatedly calling my place of employment trying to get me fired? Your phone calls were described to me as “bizarre.” I told everyone, “Of course they’re bizarre, they’re coming from a bizarre person.”

  And of course your scheme to break me and John up certainly didn’t work. What did you think to accomplish when you dragged his mother in it? My future mother-in-law sees you for what you are-a trouble-making idiot.

  I must hand it to you though, you gave it a good try by calling child abuse on yourself and naming my fiance as the perpetrator, hoping that I would get blamed for the call. Your mistake was that you went overboard by writing letters to the mayor of Buffalo, and other elected officials. I simply sat back and watched you hang yourself. I don’t need to do anything to you, you seem quite capable of digging your own grave.

  A relationship of any kind is two-way, not one-way, and that way being YOUR way whether we like it or not. Your attitude has always been, “This is how it will be. Take it or leave it.” And that is exactly what I and so many others have done. We chose not to take it, and left. How many friendships have you destroyed throughout the years? Well, you can add two more to the ever growing list of people who cared about you, had enough of your bullshit and lies, and have broken off their friendship to you. Those being my fiance John and your friend on Balzac Court. No, I did not “badmouth” you, nor did I tell you to put her address on a bullshit letter you sent to my house. You destroyed that friendship all by yourself. Again, you are own worst enemy. And that is the real reason our reunion went sour, not because of some complex psychological feelings of guilt and shame from our dysfunctional childhood, nor feelings of jealousy that you had a secure home growing up while we did not. We simply grew tired of putting up with your rotten behavior. Your behavior is unacceptable and can not and will not be tolerated. Your behavior has cost you the very thing you wanted-your birth family. And don’t try to get yourself off the hook by saying that it wasn’t you who initiated the search, but that it was Gert and me who brought you something you did not want. You had already made the conscious decision when you turned 18, to search for your birth family. You wanted us just as much as we wanted you. It truly is a shame that our lost sister, despite growing up in a stable home environment did not learn the moral values that we did. I am not saying that I’m Miss Goody Two-Shoes. I’ve done a lot of stuff in my life, but nothing compared to your evil plotting, lies, and thefts. I’d bet Shadya is happy that she had to contend with me and Fran and not you. Anything that we did to Shadya pales in comparison to what you have done. We never once called her job and tried to get her fired, or frame her so that she would get arrested or hauled into court on some bullshit “harassment” charges. And we never made off with 900 bucks of hers!

  I especially love the time when after I told you in December 1990 that I wanted nothing more to do with you, you had the nerve to call and leave a message on my answering machine saying that money shouldn’t come between sisters. YOU who had only worked a few temporary jobs, and those not very hard ones either are going to lecture ME about MY hard-earned money! I bust my ass at my job. Many times I have to drag myself home on the bus with my feet and back killing me. I have pulled my back out 4 times and in June of 1997, I was out on disability because I was assaulted (kicked in the neck) by a confused patient. And the money you STOLE was not even my money. I had borrowed that money from the credit card, and had to work my ass off to pay it back, going with out a car, because YOU helped yourself to the money to fix YOUR car. When my car broke, I did not have the money to fix it, all my paychecks went to pay back the bank for the borrowed $900.00 you stole. And when dear old Uncle John got laid off, and we did not have the money to pay our electric bill, they shut our electricity off. I called you to beg you for some money-THE MONEY YOU STOLE FROM ME-and you kept hanging up on me, then LIED and said that I hung up on you!

 Then used that lie to press bullshit harassment charges on me. This is how you treat your sister that you “love” and your “dear” friend and “uncle” John to your children, a “member of your family.” Remember, HIS electricity was turned off too, and the years we went without a car and could not buy another because I was paying off a debt that I shouldn’t have had to, I was out in the cold waiting for buses too. But you don’t care about that do you? You only care about JONI’S discomfort and JONI’S happiness and to hell with everyone else!

  And then you start the bullshit again last month by lovingly informing me that my fiance got my next door neighbor pregnant and they had a baby girl in June 1994. Well, the only two newborns from that house in the past ten years were BOYS. The first, D.J.,born in 1992, looks exactly like his Dad, Danny. The second, Jesse, was born in 1995. I was working the night he was born, and I held him at 5:00 in the morning, just hours after his birth. Charlene and I were oohing and aahing over his little pee-pee. I guarantee, Jesse was a BOY not a girl. Did you really think that John would remain your friend after you told such a lie about him? Open mouth and insert foot, Joni.

  I was recently informed that some time ago, you tried to engage a “hitman” to kill me. What a sweet loving sister you are! This is how you show that you love me? In the letters you sent me in the beginning of March you say that you love me, yet you threaten my life? Could this possibly be the reason why I don’t like you? Go ahead, whine some more that me and my sisters don’t like you. To quote you from your letter dated March 1999, “For some reason you don’t like me.” Yeah, I really like people who threaten my life. I’m such a masochist, what can I say? I like people who steal close to $900.00 from me and tell lies about me. NOT!

  I have already informed the District Attorney about the threat you made against my life. They can’t do anything at the present time, because it is only hearsay. But they are well aware of your threat, your harassing letters to me and other people, your attitude to various police agencies, and your false claims of having an arrest warrant for our cousin, (????), lies about me being convicted of harassment, of me being placed on probation, and you having an Order of Protection against me. I was NOT convicted or placed on probation. If you’re so smart, provide me with the name of my “probation officer.” You can’t come up with a name because I was never placed on probation. The judge merely told me to leave you alone for six months as a condition of dismissal. I left you alone, and the case against me was summarily dis- missed. The judge did give you an Order of Protection and the district attorney’s office did not like it one bit that YOU called MY house, two months after the judge told me to leave you alone. As usual, Joan does what SHE wants to do. You get the judge to tell me to leave YOU alone, but then you think that you can turn around and call and bother ME.

  And since you don’t have an Order of Protection against me, I can drive down any street I want. Who died and left you boss, telling me I can’t drive on certain streets. I don’t know how you or your son “saw” me driving past your house since I did not have a car. I do now, and I’ll drive where I damn well please. Unless you bought the car or pay for the insurance and maintainence, you have no say on where I drive my car.

  Oh, by the way, I was investigated by the district attorneys last month in conjunction to my complaint against you. I found out about it from someone I’m close to. I wel- come investigations, because I don’t break the law or make an idiot of myself like you do. I have nothing to hide. If I were you, I’d pray that nothing suspicious ever happens to me or John, because you will be the first person the district attorney will question. In closing let me thank you for providing me with an ad- dress last month that proved very rewarding to me. The gods above are indeed looking out for me. A couple of years after you and Colby made off with the $900, I was still fussing. John’s cousin Chuckie told me “Let it go. You’ll get the money back another way.” And I did. I hit the lottery twice, once with the three digit, and once with the four digit daily numbers for a total of $900.00. I also got a couple of hun- dred dollars from the scratch-off tickets. (I still have the payout receipts). And now, nine years later, I have been rewarded again with two things that I have been wanting a long time. My thanks to you because without the letters you sent me in March, they would not have come to be. YOU pro-vided the means by which I profited.

  Goodbye, from your sister who truly does love and miss you, but realizes that your moral values are so different from mine, that we can never have a relationship again. Ruth

ps. I have the guts to put my name on a letter that I write. If you don’t have the courage and honor to sign your name and stand by what you say, then don’t bother saying it. But then again, since it was all a bunch of lies, it’s no wonder you were ashamed to put your name to it. You have proven again and again that you are nothing but a thief and a liar. As to the old saying “How do you sleep at night?” Well, maybe all the “anxiety attacks” that cause you to wake up at night screaming is really your conscience bothering you. I, on theother hand sleep very soundly. And very soundly indeed.

pps. When a “woman professional” (since when, you don’t even have a job, let alone a profession), writes a letter of complaint to a another woman professional, she doesn’t call her a bitch and tell her that she (the recipient of the complaint) almost got slapped in the face. That simply is just not done. It is most unseemly. Oh, now I get your profession! Professional student and welfare slob. You’ve only been going to school for the last twenty years. Your other job must be professional troublemaker and liar.

  Now act like the spoiled little brat that you are and call up Daddy and whine: “Daaaddy, Ruth wrote me a leeetter, Daaaddy.” “I”m gonna tell Daddy on you Ruth, NYAH, NYAH” To quote you: “ACT YOUR AGE!”

TATTLETALE, TATTLETALE!

Go ahead, whine some more at me “you don’t like me.”

 

NOTE from Gert…

see my post about letter exchange I had with Joan

http://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2011/10/11/i-admit-it-i-lied-about-not-writing-a-letter-and-making-a-phone-call-to-joan-wheeler/

Lesson for Joan Wheeler – lying about people won’t make you happy. February 7, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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It’s impossible to build one’s own happiness on the unhappiness of others.

So true. So what did you think to accomplish when you published that filthy book full of lies Joan? Yes, you accomplished SOMETHING  – you hurt me again and again. Every time I turned a page and read another filthy lie about me – I actually was walking in circles in my kitchen crying when I read your twisting of facts, your put-downs of me being a prospective mother, your disgusting stabbing me in the back twenty years after I got over the initial anger of your dirty deeds to me –

BUT what else did it get you? Your biggest dream (actually an unrealistic fantasy) was that your book was going to be a million dollar best seller and either a TV movie or a Hollywood blockbuster book was going to made of your book – and you would be set for life.

And because you blatantly lied about events in MY life – and I had documented proof of those lies (actual police and court documents, your own harassing letters to me and the envelopes they came in) – YOUR LIES WERE EXPOSED.

Proof of your lies – libel – was sent to the publisher and your book was pulled.

You said once on an internet forum, about two years, ago, that you “wasted 30 years of my life writing a book.” That’s right honey, you did. But you got part of that wrong – you didn’t waste 30 years of your life writing a book – you wasted 30 years of your life TRYING TO KILL OTHER PEOPLE’S HAPPINESS! 

What did you think to accomplish when you were harassing me? Did you honestly think my relationship with John would go down the tubes when you sent that lying letter to me saying he got the next door neighbor pregnant? What really happened is that when I showed him the letter – he was disgusted with you. You always claimed you honored him as friend. HA! Well that’s one friend who hates you now.

What did you think to accomplish when you repeatedly called my job in 1994-95 with false accusations of me? And did it again in November 2012? Did you really think I would get fired? – HA! Not only was I NOT fired (because I am innocent of your bullshit lies), but my job now knows you as a freak – a crackpot who has nothing better to do with her time than lie about innocent people.

One other thing that was accomplished Joan – when the truth of your lies were exposed by this blog and Gert’s blog – YOUR REPUTATION IN THE ADOPTION REFORM ACTIVIST COMMUNITY IS NOW SEVERELY COMPROMISED.

And you have only yourself to blame. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you pick up the phone and call my job. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you sent me that lying letter about John. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you type out all those lies in your book.

YOU DID ALL THAT BY YOURSELF. ARE YOU HAPPY JOAN? NO? aww, too bad.

happiness

1. gertmcqueenFebruary 7, 2014

Gert here…yep…Joan’s lies and dirty deeds have become apparent to even those in the adoption reform movement! TRUTH always out wins lies! Joan should have learned how to ‘bury the bodies’ when she decided to KILL HER KIN FOLK! Oh sure, she led a great charge against her kin, when we first learned of her, 30 years in the making, masterpiece! Where’s all those angry adoptees today? Not by Joan’s side. There been a couple of new books on the adoption topics these days and none of them INCLUDE Joan Wheeler! Even the most vocal of the activists do not want to share the printed venue with Joan! She’s now trying to break into a new field…online therapy! Yep! good luck on that!

2. gertmcqueenFebruary 7, 2014

Gert here again… I was just reading some blog posts and found a comment that Joan left about Joe Soll! Okay Joe just FOUND his mother! Great news, that’s nice for him, but Joan, takes any opportunity for someone else’s spot light to pour out her bullshit that means nothing! In that lying book Joan wrote she USED Joe Soll. I had email exchange with the man and he DENIED what she wrote in the book, we have blogged about this…YET Joan acts as if she is CLEAN… here’s the comment she left…with ALL HER usual misspellings, she can’t even honor her friends with checking her spelling! Her sweetness makes me want to puke! Anyone who can do shit, like she did to her own KIN, and then speak false sweetness and false ‘peace’ to strangers, only proves to the world what a fool she is.

@forbiddenfamily · 2 weeks ago Back then, in the late 80s, Jow began organizing the Marches on Washington. I was there fro three of them. Saddens me that he could have met his mother at the time. So sorry for that loss. But very happy indeed for the wonderful news of NOW! releived for the man who helped so many of us. Knowing you, dear friend, has meant so much for me. May you now know some inner peace.

and here is the link http://www.adopteerestoration.com/2014/01/breakthrough-for-one-of-our-own-in.html#more

and have you ever noticed that Joan always talks about the 70s, 80s, 90s she is a HAS BEEN! She has DONE NOTHING IN RECENT HISTORY or currently, cause she’s a liar!

3. RuthFebruary 8, 2014

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/09/20/high-alert-evidence-of-joan-wheelers-lies-from-a-person-in-an-adoption-reform-organization/

In this post – we show Mr. Joe Soll’s email to Gert, in which he says “I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/”

AdoptionHealing.com – AdoptionCrossroads.org – EvilExchange.com” To: Gert Mcqueen Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM Subject: Re: fact finding request, please I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.

here is Joe’s entire email, in which he had copied and pasted Gert’s question and provided an answer:

From: “Joe Soll, LCSW – AdoptionHealing.com – AdoptionCrossroads.org – EvilExchange.com” To: Gert Mcqueen

Sent: Fri, May 14, 2010 9:52:53 AM Subject: Re: fact finding request, please

I never received, nor do I know of the existance of any letters from any person regarding Joan.

(Gert asks):

Also, in her book, Joan relays a phone conversation with you, pg 311, regarding these alleged letters in which she writes that you did indeed receive them and that you had spoken with Joan about them

(Joe answers): This is patently false.

(Gert offers):

If you do not have access to her book, but wish to see the pages I am referring, I would gladly snail you copies if you would provide me an address. My sisters and I would greatly apprecitate it if you could shed light on this for us and yourself.

(Joe answers): I do not need to see the book, Gert. I don’t know what’s going on but no matter what the book says, I am baffled because none of what you asked me has any basis in fact/

Feel free to contact me further

Be well, 조살 :-)

4. RuthFebruary 8, 2014

So, MISS BIG-SHOT ADOPTION REFORMER JOAN WHEELER, WHO FANTASIZED THAT HER BOOK WAS GOING TO BE A REVOLUTION IN THE ADOPTION REFORM COMMUNITY DOESN’T EVEN GET HER BOOK SEEN BY ONE OF THOSE ADOPTION EXPERTS!

to reiterate what Mr. Joe Soll said about her book:

“I do not need to see the book,”

that means, that when he sent that email, May 2010, he had not seen the book yet, nor would he ever, because he was made aware that Joan LIED about him in the book. And he will NEVER see it, because it is dead – having been pulled from publication because of the LIES Joan put in it.

Joan Wheeler drags me into her f’ed up love life – then bitches about me being in her life. uh, what? December 26, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
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oh brother – here we go again. Despite Joan Wheeler’s lamentations and bitching that we, her birth sisters “interfere” with her life, she keeps dragging us INTO her life.

SEE UPDATE INFO AT END OF THIS POST

In the wee hours of December 26, 2013, – 1:00am to be precise, Joan was on Twitter, going off on her ex-boyfriend. Apparently her website’s locale spotter showed a hit from New Mexico. Where the ex lives. So? It’s the public internet – Joan has a website for the purpose of people reading it. If the ex wants to read her website/blog – well, it’s a damn free country.

So Joan is accusing him of stalking her and she tweets that he should leave her alone, she’s now afraid of him, he is a bad person, she stuck by him when he was in jail, blah blah blah.

THEN she drags US into it. Take a look-see:

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily

And now, you’ll continue to obssess about me. I know you’re not on Twitter. But my stalking sisters are. They’ll make sure you can read this

EXCUSE ME! We don’t even know this guy. And look what she wrote: “I know you’re not on Twitter.” – so, we establish he’s not on Twitter. “But my stalking sisters are.” – yes we are. “They’ll make sure you can read this.” – HOW? she just said he’s NOT on twitter!

so I replied these to that particular tweet:

Ruth Pace ‏@ruthsippelpace

@forbiddenfamily uh – WE DON’T KNOW HIM OR HIS FAMILY – DON’T DRAG US INTO YOUR F’ED UP LOVE LIFE! leave US alone.

Ruth Pace ‏@ruthsippelpace 

@forbiddenfamily this tweet – dragging us into your silliness – proves YOU won’t leave US alone.

Ruth Pace ‏@ruthsippelpace

@forbiddenfamily  just how will I do that? when I don’t know him, + as you say, he’s not on the internet? why are you dragging me into this?

Ruth Pace @forbiddenfamily

we “MONITOR” you to catch you in stuff just like this: WE DON’T KNOW YOUR EX OR HIS FAMILY, LEAVE US OUT OF IT.

Then she tweets this:

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily 

Run scared. I know you will be. Because I Tweet about our breakup? Too bad. No one knows your name. No one. Don’t like being talked about?

and I reply:

Ruth Pace ‏@ruthsippelpace  

@forbiddenfamily that’s right – we don’t know him – now leave us OUT of your f’ed up love life! why are you pulling us into it?

By the way – she dragged HIM into MY life – in July, 2013, by dragging this guy to Family Court when I had her up on harassment charges- cos she contacted my job AGAIN with false accusations of computer fraud – trying to get me fired. WHY was he there? This was FAMILY COURT – he had no business, him being a stranger to me – to be where I was – taking care of a FAMILY matter.

So what is going on in this latest chapter of the soap opera, The Joni Show?

It appears a few months ago, she met this dude – and she was gushing all about him on twitter, that he’s half Mexican and half Native American, and because of her “knowledge” and “love” of Native Americans, she’s all starry-eyed.

She knows this guy FOR TWO WEEKS! And they’re making plans to get married! WTF! Where are their brains? So when my godmother dies, she drags this stranger to her funeral. I could only attend the wake, as I had to work the day of the funeral, but he attended both. WHY? He doesn’t know my godmother. Whatever.

At the wake, Joan tells one of my cousins that she is going to go New Mexico for a few weeks. And they have to decide where they will live once they get married.

Now, I laid eyes on this guy twice. Once in the waiting room at court, the second time at the wake. I never spoke to him, nor did I approach him. He seemed quiet, nice. Another cousin told me that he sat with Joan at the church at the funeral, and didn’t really say much.

Which belies this tweet about him:

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily  

I should have left that day you freaked out when my aunt died. You made it about your grief over Vietnam, over your Mom’s death in 2010…

He didn’t look like he was freaking out to me.

But dayam – that tweet is sure rotten! As are these:

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily  

I comforted you, you creep. I needed comfort, but you demanded I comfort you. I should have kicked you out then.

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily 

But my aunt died in early August. Instead of comforting me, you attacked me. Lunged at me with your PTSD and how deathy (sic) affects you.

WELL! We see what a great “social worker” she is!

Doesn’t she know as a “social worker” that people grieve differently than others? And where does she get off attacking a Vietnam Vet? Who has PTSD? As a “social worker” – that is a no-no! And to attack someone who is grieving their MOTHER???!!! She died in 2010? That’s only 3 years ago! My mother-in-law died 10 years ago, and my husband and I still get choked up about her. Where the hell does Joan get off AS A SOCIAL WORKER and AS A HUMAN BEING to belittle someone’s grief?

As the wife of a Vietnam Veteran, I went to our local Veteran’s Resource Center  in 1988 for counseling – to learn about PTSD that ALL Veterans may suffer from. I learned about the history of Vietnam, and the war. I learned about the aftermath of the war – both to the peoples of Vietnam AND our returning vets. I learned WHY my husband does certain things. And in doing so, we became strong together.

If Joan can’t handle being with a Vietnam Vet, fine, but don’t fucking attack him. Yes, many Vets, (of all wars) do suffer from PTSD and unfortunately do abuse alcohol and drugs (thank goddess my husband does not) – and that is a real concern. Joan reports on twitter that he was driving drunk and spent a month in jail. That would be a challenge to any relationship, and for speaking for myself, I would not be involved further with any man who does this (drives drunk and get thrown in jail). I am absolutely dead-set against drug and alcohol abuse.

But Joan is one to talk! She chronicles in her now-dead book that she herself was an abuser of drugs and alcohol and drove drunk. She showed up at my house once in 1991 at 5am drunk out of her mind!

So her little quickie romance is all busted up! She’s blaming his family for that. Apparently they went on the internet to check up on her. And I don’t blame them. They did what HE should have done. They were probably thinking “just who is the woman who knows our loved one for only a couple of weeks and thinks she ‘s gonna marry him? Is she the genu-wine article, or she just a gold-digger, looking for a sugar daddy to get her hooks into?”

Well, I say to them: “Good Job!”

So back to Twitter-dom: she also tweets this little gem:

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily 

I know what he’s still doing: checking the weather channel for weather in my city, thinking of where I am: the Y, music shows, plus ….

OH MY GOD! Joan – are you for real? Do you have the capability to see what channel is on this guy’s TV? To see the weather reports in Buffalo? and music? YOU FREAKING INSANE PARANOID IDIOT!

She also reports that she is now afraid of him. uh, duh – he’s 2500 miles away! But she told that lie on the stand in court about me in July 2013 – that she is “afraid” of me. WELL IDIOT! STOP DOING THINGS TO PISS ME OFF! — LIKE DRAGGING ME INTO YOUR FUCKED UP LOVE LIFE.

1. Ruth

by the way – as I understand the politically correct terminology – they are not “Indians” they are “Native Americans.” And they are not “Spanish” they are Mexicans. When she first tweeted about her new romance she called him Native American. Now she calls him Indian. Last week she was blaming the “Spanish” culture for her breakup. As I understand it, some like to be called Hispanic, or Latino. I think it depends on the region. I don’t know. That’s why I don’t call anybody anything unless I know what they like to be referred by. Most of the time, I just call them people, unless I’m talking specifically about the country they come from or if their ethnic background is an important issue with what I’m writing about. As we see, Joan is a bigot. She gushes that in her youth, she had a love for Native Americans. She points that out in her book. But she also pointed out in her book that my first husband was Arab, and goes out of her way to say that I “became fully immersed in the Arab culture.” – no, I did not. I embraced many Arab people as my friends. And what did that all have to do with HER adoption anyway – the purpose of her writing her stupid book in the first place. Who I claim as my friends, have nothing to do with her adoption.

2. gertmcqueen

Gert here… Joan says NO ONE FROM NEW MEXICO should be reading her web blog! What?? hey I KNOW people in New Mexico…been there, speak to them on phone, email. So it could be MY PEOPLE checking Joan stuff! Joan needs to stop browbeating everyone up who think about or does anything related to ADOPTION cause that is where her pains are coming from. She needs to accept that she’s adopted and let people alone. How many men does she have to go through before she learns that NO ONE wants to hear her bitching and screaming. If she still wants to live her life the way she does then she needs to learn that MEN (together or not) don’t want to listen to a bitch scream and rant. Every man I know that has seen or hear anything about Joan says that they would not put up with her for one minute…she’d be history! and the next book that Joan writes WILL have a chapter on this guy from New Mexico cause that what Joan does…she writes lies about every person that DOESN’T AGREE WITH HER. So if I was this guy from NM, I’d keep close tabs on what Joan puts in print or on the internet as she JUST DID on twitter…the guy may not have twitter but I bet he could find someone who does.

 Ruth

well said Gert – and if I were that guy – or his family – I would most certainly keep close tabs on what she writes about him and pull her into court for harassment, slander and libel.

UPDATE January 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version.

 https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

 https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

 end

 

The damage done by Joan Wheeler’s lies and why we work to correct that damage November 14, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In my last post, written early this morning “Joan Wheeler keeps spreading the same tired lies about my father again.” I copy and pasted a comment that Joan wrote on this blog: http://danielibnzayd.wordpress.com/2013/11/07/does-anything-anyone-say-about-adoption-hurt-you-anymore/#comment-427.

Joan’s comment contained the same stupid lies concerning my father’s decision to relinquish her to adoption and in my post, I refute those lies. Also Gert and I deduced (correctly) that the owner of the blog, one Daniel ibn Zayd, will NOT post our comments refuting the lies that Joan keeps saying about OUR FATHER! Howver, another person named Deb had her simple comment approved for acceptance: “Beautifully stated Joan.”   Deb thinks she is giving Joan a compliment. Deb believes that Joan is telling the truth about MY father. Deb doesn’t realize that Joan is a lying bitch.

Deb thinks my father is shit. Deb thinks our parish priest, Fr. E. was shit. – Joan doesn’t name him, but at the time, that is who our pastor was. And Fr. E. was one of the kindest, gentlest men around. He baptized me, gave me my First Communion. I remember him very well. He became part of our family – he came to our house and adminstered the Last Rights to my grandmother in 1965.

So two good men have their reputations sullied – thanks to Joan and Deb thinks it is wonderful. Now you know why Gert and I have our blogs and refute EVERY lie that Joan tells.  ps – both these men are dead, and cannot defend themselves. So Gert and I do it for them – for their honor. We will not sit back and let Joan commit character assassination of two dead men. Joan has no shame.

1. gertmcqueen

Joan doesn’t care about damage to others…she is the only person that matters, period! She is nothing but trash and only can speak trash. Those that believe her do so at their own risk of being her next target…if you ever get on the wrong side of her…

lies, lies, and more lies – by Joan Wheeler – refuted as always by Ruth Sippel Pace November 14, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In Gert’s latest blog post “Joan Wheeler’s screaming, that her birthsiblings are attacking her, is nothing new!” dated November 13, 2013, Gert details much bullying done by Joan towards us, her birthsisters. Her bullying rant against me contains lies (so what else is new?)I’m not going to go over all Joan’s bullshit, just a few points that I pointed out in 4 comments that I placed on Gert’s post:

Ruth‘s comments:

lie #1: “The last time you were told this in person was at our father’s 80th birthday. I out up with your antagonistic attitudes for the party for the father we share, but I warned you then”

no, we never spoke to each other at the party. When she was leaving, she turned to me as she was going out the door and said “Ruth, we need to talk.” I was sitting on the couch with my stepmother. We both looked at each and rolled our eyes. We said nothing to Joan. I didn’t even look back at her. Let’s see – who was at the party. – my father, who is now deceased. My stepmother. My two stepsisters, their husbands, their kids (5 in all) a few of the kids friends – I think maybe 4. Count them up: 5 adults that are still alive, and about 9 kids – ranging in ages 10 – 17. They are witnesses that Joan did NOT warn me about anything. They are witnesses that Joan and I did NOT speak. 

  • lie #2: “You violated an Order of Protection that I had out on you when you showed up at my house in 1993″

    nope – she moved out of the house on Saturday, July 31, 1993. We didn’t even get to court until August 9, 1993. And it was then the judge handed down the order of protection (over annoyance phone calls that I placed because I was pissed at Joan’s STEALING HUNDREDS OF $$$ FROM ME). Joan says in her book that the date I came to her house was August 1, 1993. I have posted on my blog a scan of the actual order of protection and the date it went into effect was August 9, 1993 and it expired February 9, 1994. It was for six months, yet Joan reports it as being for one year.

    lie #3: “You charged her (her mother) with child abuse of her grandchildren!”
    wrong – Joan herself placed the child abuse call posing as me. The call was that I was turning in my own fiance for having sex with Joan and her mother liked to watch. or something like that. Joan then wrote to the Department of Social Services in Albany NY and told them on August 9, 1993 that I was sentanced to six months probation. – wrong – it was the afore-mentioned order of protection that I was sentance to NOT probation. at least she got the date correct in her stupid lying letter
    lie #4:
  • I nver had a sexual or emotional affair with your boyfriend/husband! How dare you accuse me of such trash!”

    Joan likes to spread that around that I accused her of having an affair with John. Nope, I never said that. However, Joan wrote a letter to John in March 1995, sending it to his mother’s house and asked him if he was leaving me. (copy of this letter and envelope, in Joan’s handwriting is posted on my blog) — Also in 1999, she sent me a letter stating that John got the next door neighbor pregnant. and the house was vacant! Trash? oh, yes, there is a LOT of trash coming out of Joan’s mouth!

Joan Wheeler keeps spreading the same tired lies about my father again. November 14, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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on this  blog http://danielibnzayd.wordpress.com/2013/11/07/does-anything-anyone-say-about-adoption-hurt-you-anymore/#comment-427 Joan Wheeler (@forbiddenfamily) says:     November 13, 2013 at 10:18 pm   says:

I think that when people, the general public, adoptive parents in particular, call an adoptee’s other mother a “birthmother” this negates what she truly is: that adoptee’s mother. Having said that, I want to share that yes, I am still hurt by what others say about adoption. Beyond the hurt are the truths that are ignored. People continually use the words they hear in conversation, they inflict those words onto me. I correct them. No, I say, I do not have a “birthmother” or a “first mother”. My MOTHER died when I was an infant, I tell them. My MOTHER was replaced by another woman. And my FATHER was replaced by another man. These two people became my adoptive parents, and as such, they are the ones who deserve the adjective in front of the words “mother”, “father” and “parents”. These two people are my social parents. They are my legal parents, but the two people who sired and gave birth to me are my parents. Period. When I approach the topic in this way, in one-on-one conversation, with boots on the ground, I can tell you that people receiving my words are truly shocked into reality: this woman’s MOTHER died and that’s why she was adopted. The expressions on their faces tells me that they understand. They then say to me, “I’m so sorry for your loss. How tragic.” Yes. The death of my mother is tragic. And so is the punishment I received: removal from my family of birth because my father was too poor to keep me. And let me add another variable into the larger discourse: religion. A Catholic priest so compassionately reminded my father at my mother’s funeral that “the baby needs two parents” that my devout Catholic father followed exactly what his parish priest suggested. My grieving father relinquished his youngest child to a closed adoption because that was a better solution, better than asking for help to keep his family together, better than having his second wife take care of all of his children while he went to work. It must have killed him to come home each day to his older children, filled with grief and despair. He had kept his family together by getting married very soon after his first wife’s death, but at the cost of giving up his newborn daughter, a choice he told me decades later that he regretted. So, when people tell me their joys of adoption, I am hurt. And then I tell them what adoption did to me. My broken families are not the only truth I hit them with. I slam them with the truth that my real birth certificate is sealed and that every single adoptee in America is issued a falsified birth certificate. People are just not aware. … sorry for rambling. Just in a rush today.

I answered, but doubt that it will get posted, because all those angry adoptees all have their heads up their asses:

as usual, Joan gets the facts of what happened at my mom’s funeral wrong. I was only 3, but I heard from many relatives what happened. Including my own father. It is strange that Joan forgot to blast my mother’s sister here because it was she who suggested the adoption in the first place – because her childhood friend was the sister of the man who adopted Joan. It was my aunt Catherine who approached my father with the idea of adoption. My father then asked our parish priest for advice. It was not done at the funeral.

Also – my father was NOT poor. He worked for the City of Buffalo as a civil engineer. He worked in the Streets Paving Department drawing up blueprints and plans of the city’s streets. Joan routinely spins this web of lies and even goes around saying my father was a high school dropout. Which, actually was true – BUT she doesn’t say WHY! BECAUSE LIKE MANY OTHER YOUNG MEN AT THE TIME MY FATHER LEFT SCHOOL TO ENLIST IN THE ARMED FORCES TO FIGHT WORLD WAR II.

When the war was over, he went back and got his GED. He worked as a machinist in a bicycle repair shop and then went to night school for blueprint and draftsman. He was hired by the city of Buffalo in 1955 and worked there until he retired in 1988. Yes, my father married a second woman – so what? Lots of people get married. For the wrong reasons. So? Joan’s own marriage was hardly a work of bliss. Because my stepmother turned out to have mental problems, we remaining birth siblings and now two stepbrothers were placed in foster care on and off. After the death of his second wife, my father put a down payment on a house and gathered his kids from the foster homes. In 1965, as now, 4 teenagers and a mortgage can be really tough on the wallet. My father took a second job as a salesman at Sears. So? Lots of people work two jobs to help pay a mortgage and rear a bunch of teenagers. That hardly makes my dad “poor.”

In 1970, when I was 18, my father met and married another woman. She had two daughters and soon my brother came along. At which time, my stepmother resumed the career that she had before she had her two girls – working as a nurse’s aide. So? Lots of families have two incomes. Doesn’t make them “poor.” My father and stepmother liked to travel. Because my stepmother emigrated from France and relatives both in France and Greece, they traveled to Europe frequently. So? Lots of people travel the world.

Joan has a habit of pointing out other people’s income and tries to dictate to them how they should spend their money. She did it to me.  Joan and I had a joint checking account in 1989 to buy real estate. For the expenses of real estate brokers, lawyer fees etc. It was MY money – $4000.00 I put in. For real estate. Joan was dipping into it to fix her car. But her husband had a job. We dissolved the idea of buying real estate and after figuring out how much was used for legitimate reasons, I was shorted out hundreds of dollars – Joan took MY money – STOLE IT. A lawyer’s refund was being sent to us – split in half and Joan agreed since it was my money in the first place, when she got her check – she would give it to me. It was MY money after all. BUT when the time came – she said she was keeping it – MY money – to buy a xmas tree for her kids. I said Keep it – but I don’t want to see you again. Joan’s husband worked. Joan refused to get a job. Joan sees Ruth and her husband working. Ruth and her husband have no kids. Ruth and her husband can afford to buy Joan’s kids xmas. Really?

MY HUSBAND AND I WORK TO PAY OUR EXPENSES NOT ANYBODY ELSE’S. I DID NOT GIVE BIRTH TO JOAN’S KIDS AND WAS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM. This is how Joan’s mind works. go ahead and not post this – I’m putting it all on MY blog anyway. – but you adoptees all think another adoptee can do no wrong – but you are all hiding your heads in the sand when you take Joan’s words as gospel truth. On my blog – I post scans of actual documents that prove what I say. Joan just runs her mouth.

1. gertmcqueen

gert here…of course Daniel, author of the blog that Joan wrote lies about us, will not publish our comments…but it’s save to say that he at least read them! For a smart guy he is pretty dumb! These angry adoptees don’t care whether Joan lies or not…she’s good for their program against all things adoption. Joan’s their poster-child because she had such great tall tales of pain and suffering due to her being abused by adoptive parents…oh excuse me, according to Joan they are ‘social parents’…So these angry adoptees will just continue blindly agreeing with each other and ignoring the facts that are presented to them…for you see they are not interested in truth, only in the fact that they can continue to spread their form of venom and hate

 Ruth

exactly Gert – these hypocritical “angry adoptees” foam at the mouth when they demand THE TRUTH. That’s what they keep saying they want. They want THE TRUTH told about their birth certificates, their geneology, their birth families, their family medical backgrounds. That is reasonable, and they should receive those truths. However, THE TRUTH does not end there – because the birth family have their own truths and facts – Joan’s warped brain needs to lay BLAME on everyone – and I mean everyone in her birth and adoptive families for her wretched life. And there are lots of people out there who are so stupid, so brainless as to think that Joan doesn’t lie. They are worthless sheeple.

Overthinking, imagining, speculating, fantasizing – then reporting those erroneous thoughts as fact – this is what Joan Wheeler does on a daily basis November 10, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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overthinking

This is what Joan Wheeler does – she overthinks, speculates, projects the way SHE would react to a problem onto others, imagines how that person would react, speculates on how that person thinks and acts, thereby creating a fantasy, then begins to actually believe that fantasy, then reports that fantasy as FACT. – Meanwhile, the person she has dreamed up this shit about hasn’t a clue as to what Joan is talking about, is pissed because now a lie is being told about them, calls Joan out on it, gets yelled at, phone slammed on them – and then the whole incident is reported as the other person has now “harassed” Joan and is “interfering with her life.” Joan then escalates the telling of her fantasy, now lying about the person, and the person is left wondering what the hell they did!

like the shit time I called her to tell her Aunt Doris died. (November 3, 2009) After reading email about it, I call my father. Joan should know, she was named after Aunt Doris. Did Dad still have Joan’s phone #? (because a few months prior he kicked her out of his house and life). Yes he did. He was tired. Should Ruth place call? Yes, says Dad. So she does –

Joan – how did you get this number?

Ruth – from Dad.

Joan – NOT a good idea.

Ruth – whatever, look, Aunt Doris died. We thought you should know.

Joan – thank you for that, but —-$%^$#@*&^^?)(&&%$$^ AND DON’T FUCKING CALL ME AGAIN.

Ruth slams phone down and bursts into tears. Goes to cousin Nancy’s house and Nancy calms her down. Then Ruth goes to Dad’s house, where dad says, “Joan is mentally ill.” meanwhile, Joan calls Town of Tonawanda police – Gert, Kathy and Ruth are calling her on the phone harassing her. on the spirit of my miscarried son, I swear this is what happened. – But Joan tells a completely different story. why? – cos she’s nuts. should be committed.

How does ONE phone call, placed by Ruth, get reported to the police that Ruth, Gert AND Kathy as placing phone calls to Joan? Go back to the beginning of this post and learn how Joan’s fucked up brain works, er, DOESN’T work. Because, just because Joan thinks something, that doesn’t make it true.

and by the way – the next day I called Gert, and then she called the Town of Tonawanda police. The officer placing the call to me the night previously had left his name on my answering machine, so Gert asked to speak to him personally. He told Gert: “don’t worry about her, we know all about her.” roflmao!

 1. gertmcqueen

Gert here…excellent post!! I hope the links I put here come in, if not just go to the date, August 18, 2011, on my blog and read them…they are ALL good examples of how Joan does this overthinking and imagining…it is HOW her brain works!

http:/gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/Joan Wheeler’s own behavior….exhibit A on August 18, 2011

http:/gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/Joan Wheeler’s own behavior….exhibit B on August 18, 2011

http:/gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/Joan Wheeler’s own behavior….exhibit C on August 18, 2011

UPDATE, FEBRUARY 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1

Joan Wheeler condemns people who adopt their grandchildren and raises them as their own children, yet stays good buddies with a woman who did exactly that. November 5, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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In Gert’s new blogpost, “Joan Wheeler, angry adoptee, is a glutton for punishment, she seeks it out! Then whines when she’s called-out!” Gert outlines Joan Wheeler’s continued paranoia against us, and Joan’s accusations of harassment to her by us, when we are merely exercising our constiutional right of free speech to offer our opinion on any subject we want. It was in an internet article about a man who was adopted and raised by his grandparents, and passed off as the SON, not grandson of the adopters. And of course, Joan spoke out AGAINST that situation. To see the link to the original article go to Gert’s post.

I am not going to post Gert’s entire blogpost, only my comment to Gert’s post, because it is a blogpost in itself.

Ruth

and speaking of attacks: Joan Wheeler actively engages in attacks on ME! A year ago, November 2012, I visited amazon.com – on my home computer in my home. I work the night shift – 7pm to 7am. On my nights off, I keep that same schedule. I go to bed at 6 or 7am. so if I’m posting somewhere on the internet at 4am, does not automatically mean I’m at work. BUT Joan, in a repeat of what she did to me in 1994-95, in trying to attack me and get me fired from my job – writes a letter to my job, accusing me of computer fraud and misuse. The letter arrived just after Thanksgiving, 2012. I wasn’t told about it until January 2013. In the meanwhile, my employer’s computer security team investigated me, and EXONERATED ME. However, Joan, in her stupidity, goes on the internet (Huffington.com) and admits to being the one who sent the letter. I immediately charged her with harassment. After several delays – we finally battled it out in court on July 23, 2013. Unfortunatly, the judge, as with so many other court officials, pooh-poohed the severity of my enduring 25 years of harassment from my own sister. They have the mindset that sister’s should get along. They have their heads up their asses and this is why some bullies get away with their shit year after year. We are all aware that mentally ill people have more rights then the rest of us, and my harassment charge was dismissed. But Joan LIED on the stand and I detail those lies in this post: “Joan Wheeler perjures herself TWICE on the stand today, July 23, 2013.” 

Now, a week before we went for that final court date, I was “followed” on facebook by a Thomas Heath – who after I investigated him, and outed him, UNfollowed and blocked me. Tom is the husband of a former cow-worker, Laura Heath, with whom I had a small spat with back in May 2010. Laura, being the little idiot that she is, runs immediately to Joan’s facebook page and becomes facebook friends with. Never mind that she never met Joan, and only knew of her thru my bitching about her and her now-dead lying book. (“The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”) In three years, I had barely thought of Laura, then all of a sudden her husband comes into my life – just a week before Joan and I go to court? And there’s evidence on Joan’s facebook page that Laura and Joan are planning on going out for coffee?

So when Joan herself is not actively attacking us, she lies to other people, whines to them, shed tears, that her rotten birth sisters, Ruth in particular, is HARASSING HER. And these stupid brainless people just melt at the sight of Joan’s tears and willingly go along with harassing me.

Brian Maloney for one. Actually threatens on HIS attack blog against us, to expose a dark dirty secret that I have. When he did that, I filed an extension harassment charge, in conjunction to the one I had going against Joan, but the judge (the same one who has been overseeing the case since January 2013) said that Joan was not responsible for Brian’s action and that I could pursue criminal charges against Brian on his own actions. When I informed Brian of this, via my blog, I told him that I will not be held to emotional blackmail and that if he knows my dark dirty secret to spit it out. BUT I warned him – the police and the courts will not look kindly on a strange man telling a woman’s secrets on the internet. What those secrets are, I don’t know. I don’t have any. Brian is a stranger to me because he never met me, nor spoken to me face-to-face, and relys only on Joan’s lies about me. And this my friends, is a continuing ATTACK of Joan – against me. Lies to a strange man and tells him Ruth’s “secrets” and then Ruth gets threathened with blackmail. Cries to Laura that Ruth is taking her to court and all of a sudden, Laura’s husband gets involved in Ruth’s life. Never mind that Ruth has never met Laura’s husband. see my blog post “I am outing Thomas D. Heath and Laura J. Stickney-Heath as stalkers and troublemakers.”

I’ve also been in facebook contact with Laura’s biological daughter, (a Native American) that she had before she married Tom. Tom adopted this girl when she was 4 years old. At the age of 7, Laura put her in a foster home. She herself had a daughter, and Laura got custody of that little girl, who Laura is now raising, keeping her away from the child’s real bio-mom, and is passing her off as her daughter, not her grand-daughter. And Joan is going out to coffee with Laura, plotting with Laura to attack Ruth, but Laura is doing the very same thing that Joan is speaking out against in this NPR article – people adopting their grandchildren and passing them off as their own children. AND Tom and Laura did the same thing that Gert and her second husband did – ADOPTED the stepchild/bio-child. Why does Joan condemn Gert for that in her book, but actively hangs out with Laura and Tom? Because we see that even Joan’s zealous hatred of anything regarding adoption and child trafficking goes out the window when it comes to attacking Ruth. HYPOCRITE – if you’re against adoption – then be against it – ALL THE WAY!

ps – how I got in contact with Laura’s daughter – because Laura and Tom are keeping J.’s daughter away from her – J. routinely googles Laura and Tom’s name – J. lives in another state and doesn’t even know where her 13 year old daughter lives. She came upon my blogpost two weeks ago, and sent me a facebook friend request. But I knew about J. three years ago – from J.’s myspace page – where she putting out messages – looking for her daughter.

How could you Joan, how could you? Be active friends with a woman (Laura) who keeps a child away from her own bio-mom? Isn’t that the crux of your hatred of adoption? ISN’T IT?

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