Joan Wheeler – what is your solution for kids languishing in orphanages and NO family members are taking in? December 10, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, Lies, mental instability, stupidity, theft
Joan Wheeler hates the institution of adoption so badly that she wants to eradicate adoption from the entire planet of Earth! What an unrealistic idea. But then, Joan has always been unrealistic in her thoughts, deeds and goals.
Joan’s “brilliant” solution for a replacement for the act of adopting an orphan is kinship guardianship. Well, that’s all well and good on the surface – but – what if there is a child who HAS no family left at all? Like a child who’s whole family is wiped out by war or an act of nature (earthquake, flood, etc.) – and there ARE many such babies and children who have experienced this.
OR – as in the case of MY family – when MY mother died, and my father was left with four young children, aged 3 years to 9 years and one three month old infant – extended family members TRIED to help out.
What does Joan propose for a family such as ours? FORCE an aunt or uncle to raise that infant? I believe that is what she wants – because she forced ME to provide Christmas 1989 for HER kids when I did not give birth to them, nor their legal parent or guardian – explanation: Joan stole money from me in the summer of 1989. In September 1989, she agreed to repay me, we were expecting refund checks from a lawyer for his fee (long story) – Joan agreed that when her check came, she would cash it and turn the entire amount over to me to go towards what she owed me. But, the little lying snake that she is, she called me early December 1989 and informed me (did not ask, but INFORMED me) that she was KEEPING all the money to provide Christmas presents for her kids. Never mind that her husband had a job, was working and SHE refused to get off HER ass and get a part time job to provide for her own kids. NO, she saw $$$ that her sister (me) had coming, but her sister (me) was in a two-income relationship, and her sister had a well-paying job, and therefore her sister’s money should be redistributed to JOAN AND HER FAMILY. So, yeah, money was stolen from me, and then never repaid, because JOAN made a decision on how to spend MY money, therefore I was FORCED to provide Christmas for her kids.
Here’s a picture of an orphan child:
What is Joan’s solution for this child?
She wants to eradicate adoption – she thinks that every child should be raised by other family members – um, there were none for this kid – so according to Joan Wheeler, he should stay in the hospital, being raised by nurses until he becomes an adult.
Good solution there Joan Wheeler. – Totally illogical, stupid and inhumane.
No, Joan Wheeler, you can’t have anything in life that you want. You can’t have my life. May 16, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: blaming people for your own mess, bullying, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, spreading untruths, theft, whining
I disagree – there are things in life you can NOT have. A dead parent brought back. A reversal of one’s adoption. Someone’s else’s property. Someone else’s life.
For example, my adopted out sister Joan Wheeler, despite being 58 years old, is STILL not accepting that after her mother died, she was given up for adoption and her birth sisters were not. She still can’t accept that five years after being reunited with her, we laid down boundaries, which she disrespected. She lied to us, stole goods and money from us, manipulated us, caused many problems. After she was told to leave us, she refused – and has been at us ever since – much harassments, telling lies about us in a book, in person, and on the internet. Calling my job with false accusations, trying to get me fired, (Nov. 2012) and bragging about it on the internet (Jan. 3013).
Joan refuses to fix her life, because she is a loser. Instead, she wants my life. She has in the past tried to destroy my life, my marriage, my career. WHY? Because she’s a bitch.
NO JOAN – YOU CANNOT HAVE CERTAIN THINGS IN LIFE – YOU CAN’T HAVE ME OR MY LIFE. And as much as you keep bitching that you were adopted and wish you hadn’t been – guess what? – FACE THE TRUTH – YOU WERE ADOPTED AND THAT’S THAT. ACCEPT IT AND STOP KILLING YOURSELF OVER SOMETHING YOU CAN’T CHANGE!
You also can’t change the fact that I hate you – and no, it isn’t because Mom died – I HATE YOU BECAUSE OF THE SHIT HARASSMENTS YOU HAVE DONE TO ME. Just because another namby-pamby judge pooh-poohed your STALKING me by calling my job trying to get me fired a year and a half ago, doesn’t erase the fact that that is what you did – WHY? Why do you so want me to get fired? You tried in the past to get me fired. WHY? Because you are jealous of me – I was not adopted and you were. Well too fucking bad sweetheart. That’s just too damn fucking bad. Go fuck off.
Joan Wheeler deserves NO respect – because she gives no respect February 6, 2014Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, dishonesty, emotional abuse, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, stupidity, theft
If you want the details of Joan stealing money from me – see this post:
After Joan stole the money from me, the bitch says to me on the phone: “money shouldn’t come between sisters.”
Um, bitch –
THEFT IS WHAT CAME BETWEEN US –
LACK OF RESPECT OF RUTH IS WHAT CAME BETWEEN US
LYING TO AND ABOUT RUTH IS WHAT CAME BETWEEN US.
FUCK YOU JOAN WHEELER – ROT IN HELL.
now go whine to your adoptee buddies how I swear at you on my blog. And how “innocent” you are. How do you sleep at night bitch?
Gert here…Joan is a first class hypocrite. She’s apparently trying to impress a new crowd as she ventures into the realm of on-line therapy! But, she can NEVER remove her past from her presence! There’s a lot of things that ‘shouldn’t come between sisters’…like her VIOLATING my parental rights, like VIOLATING my children’s trust in their parents, like her reporting false child abuse on me, like her seeing my religious is damaging my mental health, like her attempting to instigate trouble between myself and other family members, like her asking my adult daughter to commit a crime, like her saying to me she ‘loves me’ all the while knowing how she was going to write about that phone call in the book, and like her WRITING a 600 page book of lies against EVERY MEMBER OF THE BIRTH FAMILY. Yep, Joan is right…THINGS should not come between sisters…she isn’t a sister of ours.
Tags: adoption, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, SLANDER, spreading untruths, theft
why this blog –
I already have a page – the reason for this blog. Let us go over it again.
Joan Wheeler, born Doris Sippel, my sister was given up for adoption after my mother died, due to child care issues. She was raised as an only child, spoiled rotten, never having the word NO said to her.
In 1974, we were reunited with her. Within a few short years, Joan’s overbearing attitude, her stealing, her lying, her interference in some of out lives, caused us to, one by one, turn our backs on her.
Boundaries and limits were set by various members of the birth family, which Joan repeatedly ignored. By 1989, she had surfaced as a THIEF. A joint checking account, funded by me, to be used for real estate purposes, (Joan and I were thinking of buying rental property together), was dipped into time and again for Joan’s living expenses. Hamburgers at the mall, Joan’s car repairs. This was not what I put the money up for. When we dissolved the “partnership” I was shorted out a lot of money – even taking into account monies spent on real estate brokers, appraisal fees, etc. Those I well accepted, as that was the agreement. I did NOT agree to foot Joan’s living expenses. Joan’s husband had a job. My paycheck goes for me, not anybody else. In December 1990, a refund from a lawyer was agreed to be turned over to me to go towards what Joan owed me. Instead, Joan called me up and informed me she was keeping the money to provide xmas for her kids. Again, that was not what my money was for – you got kids? Foot your holidays for them via your own money, NOT your sister’s. I was lied to, stolen from. This spoiled little brat Joan, USED me. I told her to get the hell away from me and stay away.
Over the course of the next few years, I was harassed left and right. Phone calls and letters to my job, accusing me of computer fraud occurred almost daily for six months. Joan called child abuse on herself, posing as me. Joan wrote to various elected officials and government agencies telling them that I had a criminal record – which I do not. I myself received a letter from Joan telling that my husband had gotten the next door neighbor pregnant – when the house was vacant!
And she wonders why I’m pissed at her.
THEN she writes and self-publishes her “autobiography. And in this trashy filthy book, is more lies about me – slander – and again, accusing me of computer fraud at my job, that I have a criminal record and other filthy shit.
I created this blog to take each and every one of the lies in Joan’s filthy book and expose it for what it is – a lie.
I have provided actual court documents that prove that Joan lied about me. I have scanned and posted to this blog the actual letter that Joan sent to Albany NY that said that in 1993 I was sentenced to probation. She wrote in the filthy book that I was sentenced to a one year order of protection for various harassments of her and her mother. I scanned the court document with the dates that prove it was for six months over some annoyance phone calls that she engineered for me to make. She forged her own 10 year old son’s handwriting and sent a letter to my house (supposedly her son). When I called her to ask about it, she said, “hold on a minute.” and hung up. I called back and she did it again. THEN she falsely lodged a police complaint that I called her and hung up on her. So she got a 6 month order of protection against me. BUT she says in the book it was for one year – and for worse than phone calls. And I scanned and provided the forged letter and all documents to prove I am not the harasser that Joan claims that I am.
Her little friends get on their high horse and lamblast me for telling the truth and “destroying” Joan and her book.
Well, too damn bad. That book was destroyed by me and my sister Gert. BECAUSE IT CONTAINED LIES ABOUT NOT ONLY ME – BUT OTHER MEMBERS OF OUR FAMILY.
Joan is the worst kind of slime ever! She is a kin-killer. Do you know what that means? It means what it says! She stabbed HER OWN FAMILY in the heart and back.
I sent my documents to Trafford Publication, the publisher of Joan’s book. Joan had signed a legal contract with them – that stated that the contents of the book were the truth. My documents proved that she lied.
If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth. – – Carl Sagan
It’s as plain and simple as that. If you don’t like it Joan – too dam bad.
Yes, that’s go over it again…
what made Joan think she could interfere with my parental rights with my minor children?
why couldn’t Joan take NO for an answer to a repeat of a sexual threesome?
what made Joan think she could call child abuse on me, TWICE, because SHE didn’t like my parenting or the word NO or because…pick out something…doesn’t matter to her, anything would work?
why did Joan speak with fork-tongue; nice to my face yet within hours condemn my religion and my mental health?
why did Joan attempt to get my daughter to commit a crime? Joan wanted to pursue a medical malpractice suit regarding HER daughter and since MY daughter worked with medical records Joan believed SHE could get MY daughter to commit a crime for her!?
Why did Joan write me a letter asking me to CALL her to warn me about some danger…only to yell at me NOT to call her?
Why did Joan tell me, on the phone, after brother died and father gravely ill, that SHE LOVED ME, then twist everything in a lying garbage book?
Because Joan is a sick bitch that’s way…
this is not over till JOAN takes down EACH AND EVERY HATE BLOG SHE AND HER FRIENDS HAVE AGAINST BLOOD RELATIVES.
2. Ruth – August 21, 2013 Gert said: ” Why did Joan write me a letter asking me to CALL her to warn me about some danger…only to yell at me NOT to call her?”
What Gert refers to is an incident that happened in 1998. But let’s back up to 1994-95 – When Joan called child Abuse on herself (Dec. 1994). This was right in the middle of the time she was calling my employer with false accusations trying to get me fired. The child abuse call was made and it was my fiance (now husband) who was named as an abuser of Joan’s children. The letter she sent to Albany NY, was written Dec. 31, 1994. During the months of January/February 1995 she was writing letters to the mayor of Buffalo, and other people slandering me. Then she sent me the copies of those letters. I hauled her into court and the judge dismissed my charges saying “sisters should get along.” The day after that, I went down to the district attorney’s office to complain. One of the assistant DA’s told me that they had better things to do. And she told me to stay away from Joan. I told her, that I would be happy to, as long as Joan also stays away from and stop writing letter about me. The Asisstant DA assured me that she would tell Joan the same thing. Which is what she did and I had three and a half years of peace – until September 1998.
I received a registered letter from Joan – the envelope was addressed to me and my fiance John. Inside was a letter addressed to Gert. Why was my fiance’s name on the envelope and WHY WAS JOAN CONTACTING ME AFTER AN ASSITANT DA TOLD HER NOT TO? Because Joan is a spoiled little brat who will NOT take NO for an answer – even if that word NO comes from law enforcement!
The letter was about some guy who bumped into Joan’s ex-husband in South Carolina. This guy was bad-mouthing Gert. So? A conversation happens in South Carolina, and Ruth, minding her own business in Buffalo, suddenly gets dragged into it! AFTER JOAN WAS TOLD BY LAW ENFORCEMENT NOT TO CONTACT RUTH.
The letter was to be sent to Gert and I contacted Gert and told her about the letter and gave Gert the phone number provided in the letter. Gert called the number and Joan yelled at her not to call her.
JOAN, IF YOU DIDN’T WANT GERT TO CALL YOU – WHY DID YOU SEND ME A LETTER TELLING ME TO TELL GERT TO CALL YOU?
I think Joan was trying to set Gert up the way she set me up in 1993 with that forged letter from her “son” and caught me in an annoyance phone call trap – she wanted Gert to call her, knowing the call would be traced and Joan wanted to run to the cops and claim Gert was harassing her.
This is the shit we have had to deal with from Joan – her little schemes – and she didn’t do it to just me and Gert – she did it to my cousin Gail – WHILE GAIL WAS BATTLING CANCER! KIN-KILLER! That’s what you are Joan – lower than then lowest. And another cousin also had his job contacted with false accusations about him – because his aunt – my cousin Gail told him to stay away from Joan, and he stopped accepting her calls. For this she tried to destroy his job.
And she tried to fuck with my job again just recently.
Joan is a fucking devious evil bitch.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cyberbullying, embellishing the truth, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, spreading untruths, theft
In a comment to my last post, Joan Wheeler is starting her lying false accusations again – calling my job to make trouble January 6, 2013, My friend Nancy says: “… what is happening here, is she is feeding off the attention. She is an attention whore..” And I answer here in this post.
Oh yes, Nancy, we are aware of that. As to your advice about ignoring her – it doesn’t work. I ignored her from 1995 to 1998. But what happened there was the district attorneys told us to leave each other alone (after she called child abuse on herself and blamed for it- to get John to leave me – the caller identified themself as me and named John. (like I’d stupid enough to give out my name and name my fiance as a child molestor). I took her to court for harassment, but the judge dismissed it. But the DA told us both to leave each other alone. No contact. In 1998, out of the blue, Joan writes Gert a letter, but addresses the envelope to me and John. (Gert had no contact with Joan since 1992).In 1999, again, out of the blue, I get a letter from Joan telling me John got the next door neighbor pregnant (the house was vacant). I took her to court and got a one-year restraining order on her. Didn’t hear anything about her until my brother died in 2003. I told Joan that I had website, an msn group for family photos and stories to share. I figured, lets cooperate via the internet – in January 2004 she sends me a nasty email accusing me of plotting against her. That’s when I said let her rot. Didn’t hear anything again until her book came out and I found all the twisted lies and slander in it.
We were successful in getting that book pulled – but she and her little friend Brian have two hate blogs against us – and until those blogs are taken down, Gert and I will continue to speak out.
All her life she had been spoiled rotten – raised as only child, she was never told “NO.” She thinks everything is for HER. Even when she was married and had kids, everything was for HER – money went for HER adoption conferences – yet she complained left and right how poor she was. In July 1986, The Monkees, Gary Puckett of the Union Gap, and The Grassroots were on an Oldies Tour and were booked for the Chautauqua Institute, Southern Tier of Western New York. Joan and her husband wanted to go and I went with them. It was a really nice concert. In September, they added Buffalo to the tour and Joan called me up to see if I wanted to go. No, I couldn’t afford it. I enjoyed myself at the concert, but I had bills to pay, rent, etc. etc. Joan called me up the next day – she had a dream about Mickey Dolenz (of the Monkees) and now she simply HAD to go. fine, whatever. So she goes. The next week, she calls me up crying – her electricity is being shut off. – Okay, what’s wrong with this picture? You don’t get your electricity shut off unless you don’t pay your bill for more than about 3 or 4 months. That’s counting back to maybe June or July. You have money to see a concert TWICE, but you don’t have money to pay your electric bill. Oh and I should mention – at this point in time she had a three year old son and WAS EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT!
In 1990, I foolishly entered into a real estate plan with her and her husband – to buy an apartment building together. I fronted the money for the down payment (borrowed from credit cards) and Joan was dipping into the joint checking account for living expenses, even tho she had a husband who had a job. In September ’90 we dissolved the partnership and I was missing money – almost 900.00. Also the lawyer was to refund 300.00 but he split the refund between me and Joan – even all the money came initially from me. Joan said when she cashed the check she would give it to me. (this was now December 90) Then Joan called me up and said she was keeping the money – MY money to provide xmas for her kids. That was the end for me – I told her “fuck you get the hell out of my life.” And she’s been punishing me ever since.
She never wanted to get a job. Her big fantasy was that book. She fantasied that it would be a million dollar best seller and be made into a movie (ala Lifetime). And she would be rich. She wanted to be rich on the backs of our family and the tragic death of a young mother (my mom). AND her other big dream was to be this big-ass adoption expert and earn monies on speaking engagements on the adoption lecture circuit.
Gert and I don’t really care about any adoption issues – what we do care about is Joan’s continual lies about our family and misrepresentations about our family and the circumstances of her adoption. Even though we were successful in getting that book pulled from publication – she still goes on different internet forums and blabs bullshit stories about OUR childhood! She was given up for adoption in 1956. She was reunited with us in 1974. She wasn’t there when we were kids – who gave her the right to blab lying stories about me, Gert, and the rest of our siblings on the internet?
Her biggest dream, as with most adoptees, was being reunited with her birth family. At the age of 16, she made the conscious decision to find us. In 1974, when she was 18 – legal age – we found her. BUT by 1980, we could see that she was NOT someone we wanted in our lives. She writes in her book that we wanted to mold her into our vision of what we wanted her to be. NOT TRUE! We wanted to be reunited with our younger sister – what we got was someone who did not have the same moral values as us. Lying, stealing, manipulating, making trouble – she was doing that as a young adult and is still doing it. One by one, we turned our backs on her – not just Gert and me, but our siblings, our extended family. My father and me – we were the ones who TRIED for years to keep a relationship with her. Throughout the 80’s I turned my cheek to her lies, her disrespect. I turned the cheek so many times I ran out of cheeks. She wanted her birth family. She got us – then lost us – because of her own actions.
By the year 2008 – Joan WAS out of our lives – or so we thought. Those years between 2004 (when I got that accusing email and I booted her off my family website) and 2008, going into 2009, were quiet years. Little did we know, that Joan was feverishly finishing up that dam book. I have a 1999 manuscript and although I dont’ like it, it’s not as bad as the finished product. Because the old manuscript does not have almost every other page Brenda this, Brenda that (Brenda is me) and other HATREDS spewed out to other family members – dead members of our family – my uncle, my cousin Gail – who never bothered anyone, who was harassed by Joan while she was battling cancer. In the book, Joan’s hatred for Gail is quite evident – yet the bitch showed up at Gail’s wake in 2003.
I just spoke to a couple of my cousins at a family get-together on Dec. 23, 2012 and was asked, “why Gail? She never hurt anyone?”
Our blog is not just for things that Joan has done to me and Gert – it is for the honor of our entire family – who Joan has sullied and told lies about for years – in person, in print, and on the internet. Joan is a bully – plain and simple as that – a BULLY and the best way to deal with a bully is to shed light on their words and deeds. – That’s what this blog is about.
To see further goals – go to this post: What is Demanded from Joan Wheeler.
Gert, from facebook: “just the fact that Joan can’t get rid of us and that she has to speak our names must really taste like garbage to her (I like) she says that she is NOT in our lives, not physically but in every other way she is and it’s all her own doing. I told her that she can do the right thing but she refuses so she has to have live with our names coming out of every pore in her body until she does the right thing, remove her and boyfriend’s hate blogs and shut up it’s her choice.”
excellent post Ruth!
Ruth quotes me at the end of this post from what I said last night on facebook…and I shall add this…why do we not ignore Joan?
Joan in 1980 interfered with my minor children and the ADOPTION of my son, then called 2 child abuses reports on me when I told her to get lost, I had 10 years of no Joan. I tried to reconcile in 92 in a afternoon visit but by that evening got back-stabbed, then she writes me 98 trying to get MY attention, I told get lost, In 98 she writes to my daughter asking her to commit a crime. In 2004 or 05 I TRULY wanted to bury it all and called her, she told me SHE LOVED ME, she loved me so much that in 2009 she told all kinds of lies about me, my children, my family EVERYONE, in that fucking book.
I have had 4 contacts with that bitch in 30 years and then she writes libel SHE WILL HEAR FROM ME TILL SHE DOES RIGHT OR DIES. Her choice…I’m in it for the long ran…
TILL DEATH DO WE PART
if she didn’t doesn’t want us in her life she never SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN THAT FUCKING BOOK
Nancy, your comment tho very good is just too long to put in the body of the post here, and I know your heart is there. I will try to answer. we know that Joan is hurting. We don’t know exactly what happened, but we know her adoptive mother was a nutcase. We don’t want to talk to her adoptive family – they don’t like Joan either. As much as we may have some sympathies for Joan – we draw the line when she delibrately sets out to destroy us. In my case: After I cut her out of my life in 1990 – she went on a campaign of retaliation – set me up in 1993. She called the phone company to complain that I was calling her multiple times and swearing at her on the phone. I was not. She insisted the phone company put a tap on her line (this was pre-caller ID) then she forged a letter – she made it look like it was a letter from her own 10 year old son. The letter was for John, but then Joan put it in an envelope and addressed it to me. She baited me. I stupidly took the bait – I called her up, say Hi. She says, “just a minute.” click. I though we were disconnected. I call back. same thing. I call again. same thing. BINGO! You only need three calls to show it is “harassment.” When the police called me – I told them the truth and I told him about how she swindled me out of almost $900.00. He was pissed. He said he would tell Joan to drop any charges, but she didn’t. I got hauled into court and was given a restraining order to stay away from her for 6 months. Because I didn’t do anything, after 6 months, it was dismissed, no record. I was never arrested, I have no criminal record. Joan says that the restraining order was for one year, and that I was arrested and placed on probation, and I have posted to this blog actual court documents that tell the truth. Then in 1994, she called child abuse on herself and posed as me – this was her attempt to break me and John up. She even wrote him letters to his mother’s house asking him to leave me. Then in 1994-95, she’s calling my job to get me fired.
bottom line: I DON’T CARE WHAT HURTS OR ABUSES SHE HAS GONE THROUGH. SHE DOES NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO TURN AROUND AND HURT AND ABUSE ME.
as to any suggestion of any kind of counseling or family remediation – it is long way past the time for that. In 1993, when she hoodwinked the phone company and the police into thinking I was making multiple annoyance calls, and we got to court, the court suggested a mediator. I agreed. Joan refused. With Joan it is going to be HER way – all the way – and no it will NOT be that way – because I, and Gert, and the rest of our family are NOT going to tolerate being walked on. Even after all the fighting, I call her up to be nice to her – to tell her that our aunt, the person she was originally named for died – and all Joan could do was spew obscenties at me – screaming at me over the phone. She needs to learn that she cannot treat people that way. The ball is in her court. She needs to stop being an ass and become a woman who respects other people. She wants respect? She has to give it first. No one is going to respect a person who continually disrespects others, especially innocent people.
Tags: abuse, adoption reunion, bullying, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, stupidity, theft, whining
See end of post for update….So – answer me this: WHY after Gert and I went through all the trouble of searching for our adopted-out younger sister, go through a reunion with her, only to ask her to leave us alone just 6 years later?
Joan will tell you it’s because we tried to mold her into what we thought she would be, should be. There may be some truth in that – when we searched for our sister – that’s what we thought we’d be getting – our sister. We expected a person who some morals and values. What we got was a person who interfered with our lives, our life decisions, manipulated people into fighting, twisting words, lying to and about us, stealing from us, harassing us, calling our jobs for the sole purpose of getting us fired, calling law enforcement and filing false reports, sending harassing letters to our spouses to break up relationships, arguing with us.
Joan Wheeler continuously whines that her birth family never took the time to understand her. Did she ever take the time to understand US? Did she EVER sit down and simply accept US? – NO! She had to find fault with everything – she didn’t like this, she didn’t like that – if we didn’t jump to her every whim, we were branded as not being supportive of HER! – Where was her support for US?
As for trust – would you trust someone who steals? Hell no. Why then should we trust her? So, yeah, she was asked to leave the family. Not just by Gert or Ruth, but by our other sister, our brother, our father, our cousins, our aunts and uncles. Family members of our father’s second wife. Even Joan’s own friends and family and acquaintances were running the hell away from her.
There’s something wrong somewhere when ONE person is continuously in fights with someone else!
Constantly fighting with her adoptive parents. In an abusive relationship with a college boyfriend. Fighting with another tenant in her very first apartment building – at the top of stairs – engaged in a shoving match over Tupperware. Fighting with her landlords over unpaid rent in the apartment she lived in when she had first child. Fighting with her landlords over unpaid rent in the house she lived in while married. Fighting with her husband. Fighting with an ex-boyfriend that she moved in after leaving her husband. Fighting and screaming with her adoptive mother, her kids, this boyfriend and that boyfriend. Fighting with her college professors, her classmates in college while studying social work. FIGHTING FIGHTING FIGHTING – That’s all Joan knows how to do – argue and fight. bitch bitch bitch.
I couldn’t go anywhere with her without hearing her mouth bitching about something or someone. Shut up already! After she stole hundreds of dollars from, and disrespecting me – I kicked her out of my life.
But she can’t and won’t accept responsibility for the consequences of her actions. It isn’t HER fault I got mad at her – it’s mine. (HUH?)
THEN she writes a book that contains lie after lie about me.
So I’m supposed to view her as family? I don’t think so. She ain’t my family. And her latest deluded puppet seems to think there could be some sort of agreement or peace between us! What the f planet is he from?
Hey Brian – if you think so much of Joan – why don’t YOU take her in as YOUR family? Why don’t you marry her? And take care of her. If Joan needs so much care and love and attention – and you’re her knight in shining armor (Champ?) then I say: “Go for it!” – maybe you’ll get your shirts ironed too in the process. A mutually satisfying relationship.
There is no mutual satisfaction in any relationship that Joan has had with us. We don’t want her. We give her to you Brian. Have fun.
100% correct! and I may add that when Joan decided that SHE KNEW what was best for my marriage and children, going behind my back to alienate my minor children, telling me I was WRONG to adopt my own child, and then called 2 child abuse reports on me…that is when she ceased to be any FAMILY to me. Three times since then 1981, I attempted to reconcile only to have her backstab me 3 more times. THEN, she wrote a lying book wherein she further added malicious misrepresentations of myself, husbands, finace, and children.
and you think that we have NO RIGHT TO EXPOSE her? And anyone who acts against us, in Joan Wheeler’s name, is just as bad. Brian Maloney has proven that he is just like Joan. Even to attack me on the familycircle, under your name of pilgrim, to browbeat and insult me over my ADOPTION OF MY SON. Who the hell do you think you are Brian? You get all your information from Joan…not a sound source.
Why don’t you Brian, take full charge of Joan, she obviously needs a caretaker and you are a SELF-PROCLAIMED defender of hers! Seems that it’s a match made in your kind of heaven.
UPDATE December 2016; as older posts are being seen I, Gert am updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!
this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.
breaking news and a warning to authorites about Joan Wheeler, who I believe is a menace to society August 1, 2012Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cyberbullying, dishonesty, emotional blackmail, false accusations, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, LIBEL, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths, theft
8:00pm, EST August 1, 2012,
CNN reports that on June 7, 2012, Batman Movie massacre killer James Holmes, failed an oral test and then went out and bought a gun, and talked to his psychiatrist. Something he said to her, alerted her and she contacted colleagues on the behavioral threat assessment team that he was a threat.
NO ONE contacted the Aurora police department that he could be a threat.
I have been telling authorities for YEARS that Joan M. Wheeler of Tonawanda, NY is a potential threat. She has harassed me for years. She has stalking me, called my employer almost daily for six months to get me fired over a typing mistake that I had nothing to do with. Despite my employer telling her this, she continued phoning them. She wrote letters to the mayor of Buffalo, a NYS senator and others telling them I have a criminal record, when I do not. I placed harassment charges against her in 1995, but a Buffalo City Court judge Margaret Anderson dismissed the case, saying that “sisters should get along.” Despite seeing black and white evidence – copies of the letters that Joan sent to these people – Joan had the arrogance to make photocopies and sent them to me.
In December 1994, she called child abuse on herself, giving MY name in a rotten attempt to break me and my fiance up. A few months later, I spoke with an assistant district attorney of Erie County and she told me that I was to stay away from Joan. I assured that I was, and asked her if she would give the same directive to Joan. She told me she would. This was just after Judge Anderson dismissed my harassment charges in 1995.
Things were very quiet until 1998, when out of the blue, I recieved an envelope handwritten by Joan, addressed to me and my fiance John, but inside was a letter addressed to my oldest sister Gert about an incident that occured in South Carolina. A man who USED to know Gert, bumped into Joan’s ex-husband and trash talked Gert. So what did that have to do with Ruth? And why was Joan writing to Ruth AFTER the district attorney told the both of us to leave each other alone?
A year later, in 1999, I received another letter from Joan, informing me that my husband got the next door neighbor pregnant. The return address on the envelope was NOT Joan’s address – a friend of mine drove me there – it was the address of a former friend of Joan’s – Bonnie Warren – who was in the middle of a fight with Joan. Bonnie told me that in the year 1997, Joan Wheeler had made a death threat against me – she was asking around for a hitman to take me out.
thank you very much Margaret Anderson for dismissing charges against this fruitcake. But Family Court Judge Margaret Scuzer granted me a one year order of protection against Joan. This was May 1999. In the same month, Bonnie institued harassment charges against Joan for using her address without her permission to send harassing letters to me.
In the same month, May 1999, a third court case of harassment was instituted against Joan Wheeler by the New York state Town of Eden police department because Joan was harassing our cousin Gail Budziszewski. Joan had telephoned her in the past and written letters. Gail went to the police and they called Joan to tell her not to contact Gail. Gail got another letter and took it straight to the police. they called Joan in front of Gail and asked her if she had sent Gail the letter – Joan answered “yes.” the police asked “after we told you NOT to contact her?” And Joan, in her arrogance said “yes.”
ALSO in 1998 or 1999 – Joan went to have her windshield fixed and the mechanic turned out to be my cousin Ray, Gail’s nephew. Ray was nice enought to invite Joan home for dinner. When Gail found out, she told her nephew to stay away from Joan because she was dangerous. Ray began to distance himself from Joan, and Joan sent me a letter saying that she knew that me, Gail, Ray and my friend Francine were “plotting” against her. Despite the fact that I knew nothing about this and Francine and Ray had never met each other.
Joan began calling Ray’s job to get him in trouble with his boss – three years after she was calling my job to get me in trouble. Again, thank you very much Judge Margaret Anderson.
Joan writes in her book of how she had physically assaulted her adoptive mother and her own children, chronicled in her book of how she routinely took up her own children’s photographs, toys, clothes, school artwork and burned them in the middle of the living room IN FRONT OF HER OWN CHILDREN! She admits in her book Forbidden Family that she drank, drove drunk, went into a deep depression and wouldn’t cook dinner for her kids, wouldn’t even wash her own hair.
In 2010, I sent a letter to Buffalo area therapist Nichole Urdang after this ditz wrote a rave review of Joan’s book for amazon.com saying the book was good. I was horrified. I told Ms. Urdang that she was a poor therapist if she didn’t see that book for what it really was – a chronicle of a woman losing her drunken sotten mind.
Joan’s longtime good friend Rene Hoksbergen, a retired college professor from Utrecht University in Utrecht, The Netherlands, was manipulated and lied to by Joan in 1993 in an attempt to extort money from my sister who lives in England. Because of Joan’s lies, Hoksbergen wrote a letter to my sister in England, sticking his nose into our family business.
Joan had stolen hundreds of dollars from me in 1990 and was now targeting another person. Joan used Hoksbergen, giving him a manuscript of her book to read, which he wrote a forward for (written in 2006). But the final version, published in 2009, contained key lies about him – and me!
Via this blog, I have let Hoksbergen know that I hold him responsible for Joan’s slanderous book, which contains lies – lies like that I have a criminal record. Legitimate complaints were sent to the publisher of Joan’s book, Trafford Publications. Actual court documents and even a couple of the letters that Joan wrote to elected officials in 1994-95 telling them lies about me were sent to Trafford. Trafford’s legal department pored over the evidence and the book, and in May 2011, they pulled the book from publication because Joan violated her contract with them.
In March of 2011, Joan went on the Huffington website to tell more lies about me and my two older sisters – a complaint was sent to Huffington and Joan was kicked off the site.
In November 2011, the father of one of her friends died. Coincidentally, the father was the long-time attorney and friend of my father, a fact that Joan nor her friend Brian T. Maloney figured out. But after seeing the online obituary and MY sympathy message, Joan figuredout that that attorney, Arthur J. Maloney, was the attorney who handled my father’s adoption of his step-daugher in 1977. Joan who has gone on record to say that she is 100% against adoption and has said online that she hates EVERYONE who supports, promotes and actually carries out adoption. She did not tell Brian that she knew of his father’s connection to my family. Instead, she started manipulating him into cyberstalking and cyberbullying us. It took us several months of detective work to find out who our attacker was – and once we did, and we let him (and the world) of that connection – (three weeks ago) – he has gone silent.
But Joan has done this manipulation before. In February 2010, she complained to members of the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum about this blog. “If enough of you complain to wordpress, we can shut those fuckheads down.” This blog recieved many obscene comments.
In the fall of 2010, a friend of Joan’s, Russell Thomas came to this blog and called me a bitch. Not once, but two, then three times. I emailed him and told him to stop.
In January of 2011, when my father died, Joan was told not to come to the funeral home when the family was present. but she showed up with Russell Thomas, who was seen by a reliable eyewitness to writing a long message in the guest book in the funeral parlor. She read it and was horrified. She made several phone calls to contact my sister in England, who called me. In the meantime, Gert and I saw it – it was hate message to my father it said: “May he rot in hell from the Herr brothers – Charles, Matthew, Henry, Michael and Richard.”
Richard, was lives in Florida, was actually on the phone around 5pm, just an hour after this message was written. He was in Florida, on the phone with my sister in England. the others – Charles, Matthew, Henry and Michael – ARE DEAD!
With all this bullshit, harassment of myself and other family members, arrogant disregard of directives from authorities (the district attorney and Town of Eden police), the stalking, the calling of my job and Ray’s job to get his fired over BULLSHIT that had nothing to do with our job performances, the total disregard for other people, the lying in the book, the lying on the internet, the lying in person about me and others, the forging or four dead men’s names and one guy who was hundreds of miles away – — and the death threat made against me in 1997 —–
I AM HEREBY NOTIFYING THE WORLD THAT JOAN MARY WHEELER, OF TONAWANDA NEW YORK IS A DANGER AND MENACE TO SOCIETY.
if anything happens to me or my husband, or our property – I hereby notify anyone that she should be the first one to be questioned.
JOAN WHEELER SHOULD BE LOCKED UP. SHE IS SICK AND I WILL HOLD THE FOLLOWING PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR HER BECAUSE THEY HAVE BEEN WARNED OVER AND OVER:
FORMER CITY COURT JUDGE MARGARET ANDERSON
SUSAN THOMPSON UNDERDAHL
CHRISTINE MARA MONAHAN
BRIAN T. MALONEY
and thanks a lot wordpress for the linking of some of my text to your stupid commercials. this is a serious post about serious issues, and you stick in commercials. shame on you.
to Chimp June 15, 2012Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cyberbullying, Disrespect, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, stupidity, theft, whining
chimp – grab a banana and stuff it
Your last garbage WAS acknowledged. IF you had any brains – and IF you could read – you would know that I haven’t answered in full because I am just too dam busy.
But since your monkey ass needs attention – I guess I will have to turn some attention to little Chimpy. but just for a minute.
IF you had read my comments to Gert’s blog – I said a couple of times that I had planned to answer you around the beginning of June. But I couldn’t. And Gert put up a blog post saying that Ruth was taking a breather – was bogged down in stuff. And IF your feeble little brain would comprehend my posts on facebook you would know WHY. (go here to my facebook).
Ah yes, facebook – where Joan can’t see me because she has blocked me. BUT the general public CAN. And my settings are set so public can see me. So Chimpy – YOU can see me. But then again, as we all know – Chimpy and Joanie are the same.
Two weeks ago my computer, a netbook, an Acer Aspire One crashed. I had if for almost three years and I worked the hell out of it. Contrary to Joan, my every minute of computer time was NOT devoted to her widdle butt. I use my computer for other writing tasks, archiving purposes, and entertainment. – in fact I just yesterday made a status blurb on facebook on how I had just finished up digitizing and cataloging three new additions to my music collection: the soundtracks to E.T.; Superman the Movie, and Raiders of the Lost Ark. And annoucned the next ones will be the soundtracks to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom; Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade; and Return of the Jedi.
In the last two years, I have digitized most of my CDs. I still have about 75 CDs to do. These are all my classical ones – and they are going to be a lot of work. Lots of typing, scanning the booklets, downloading artwork. I also created a database via Microsoft Access. Everything has to go into my database. On my one external hard drive – I have a total of 836 albums – that’s FULL albums, – I have the entire Beatles collection – the UK and the US releases – 28 full albums – 19 out of 25 John Denver albums. I also spent two weeks in May, cataloging all my vinyl records that are up in my attic. I had already cataloged my cassettes. Which are still in good working condition. don’t know why Joan’s tapes were f’ed up – as she indicated in her book. Mine are perfectly fine. – and I have the equipment and software to transfer those onto the computer. AND I’ve even got MP3’s of all the music albums that I had on 8 Track! yeah – I still had about 10 of those guys. lol. Oh – speaking of vinyl records – guess what I found in my attic – Inside Star Trek – and it was Joan’s. – Hey Joan – an even swap – I’ll give you back your property in exchange for mine – the busted bronze replica of King Tut’s throne that Colby promised to weld back together for me and never did and I never got back. PLUS all the money you stole from me in 1990 PLUS interest – because I had to pay that money back to the bank at 18% interest. Let’s make a settlement here – $1000.00 – that should cover ALL the money you stole from me, the interest, AND the King Tut throne. In exchange, I will give you back your Inside Star Trek record. And the exchange will be done by a person of MY choosing at a place and time that I choose. And in addition to the exchange – I want a public apology and explanation of how and why you stole the money from me – by dipping into a joint checking account that was supposed to be to buy real estate – but YOU dipped into it to fix the brakes for your car. MY money was NOT to be used for YOUR living expenses. You had a busted car? You should have done what other people do – got off your ass and got a job to earn the money to fix your car. But noooo – little brat Joanie stole Ruth’s money to fix her car -and did it without even asking. bitch. If you pay me the $1000.00 and make a public apology and explanation of this – AND your treatment of me over Mr. Campo’s refund of his fee – that will remove 2 of the items of the list of demands from you that I have listed on the page titled “What is Demanded of Joan Wheeler.” – found right at the top of this blog’s home page. And don’t forget Joanie baby – I still have all the paper documents related to 1989 and 1990 – even Mr. Campo’s letter. They have been scanned into the computer and some of them are already on this blog. See, not only do I tell the truth of Joan’s actions and words – I provide the dam proof. Irrefutable proof of Joan’s lies and thefts.
Back to my music collection.Some of the music I get from my personal CDs, some from friends, some I purchase the MP3’s from Amazon. See what you can do when you have a job Joan? You actually have dollars that you can use for your enjoyment! And I don’t have to rely on handouts from society. I worked from the age of 19 – and reap the rewards. And I have the good feeling that all I have accomplished in my life – I did it myself – I never have had to compromise myself to ANYbody – not even my two husbands to do it. I have never taken any shit from anybody just to have them pay my bills and shove it in my face about it – like Joan did. She readily accepted her adoptive mothers paying her bills and had to listen that harpie – but then Joan loves confrontations – she is not happy unless she is fighting with someone – and deep down, she wanted the excuse to fight with her amother – just so the topic of her adoption would come up and she could shove it in the woman’s face. I know – I’ve those two in action.
So getting back to the events of the past 2 weeks – The guys at Office Depot were working to retrieve my data off my poor busted hard drive. Gert had an older Compaq laptop and a small Acer Aspire, just like mine. Gert had bought herself a new regular size laptop and made plans to give her old one to me. Even as my little Acer was at Office Depot, Gert was packing up her Compaq and shipped it out to me. Meanwhile, I went to a public computer and ordered myself a new little Acer. Gert’s Compaq came to my house and just 3 days later, my new little Acer came. The guys at Office Depot got all my stuff – so I didn’t lose anything of importance – but I did lose my favorites file.- Most of my info and music collection are on 3 separate external hard drives. What’s on the actual computer’s hard drive are my working projects.
I’ve also been busy closing down my HSBC accounts since they are leaving WNY. AND my husband has been doing necessary upgrades to his financial portfolio. We have been busy upgrading our finances, both individually and jointly. It has actually taken me two weeks to personalize the computer Gert gave me. I had to rebuild my favorites (websites) folder – that info got lost when my little Acer died. And to keep from losing that info again, I have made a seperate Word Document listing my favorite websites’ web addresses and storing them on a separate flashdrive. These websites are not just entertainment – but necessary ones, like where I file my taxes, the DMV, and other important sites. And I haven’t even begun with the new little Acer. Once I get everything all set up – the Acer stays in my home office – and the larger laptop will be for John to use. Yes Joan – John is itching to learn the internet and contribute to our horror website. Because his screen name is The Cadaver Man and he has lots of horror things to write about. Now go ahead – put us both down for the things we like. Just like the little pisspot schoolyard bully that you are! You don’t like horror? that’s fine. It’s not your cup of tea. So go blow your stupid idiotic comments out the window – and yes – I started a new blog – it’s not really up and running yet – but it will be to share my Star Trek memorabilia – articles, clippings, photos, – because an internet buddy of mine encouraged me to do it – to compliment his Star Trek site. Now go ahead Chimpy – do the same thing – be a little pisspot schoolyard bully and ridicule me for my liking Trek. All you did was show people was an ass YOU are – to hold up and ridicule another human beings choice of what they do for fun in their spare time. – My Trek hobby does not interfere with my job, my finances, my relationships. Who the hell are YOU to put me down for what I do in my spare time. You are nothing – a nobody – you only exist in Joan’s warped brain anyway.
And why is it everything breaks at one time? We put in our air conditioner a couple of weeks ago. It worked for two days then died. (well, it was 13 or 14 years old). Our can opener died. So yesterday, John and I went shopping. New a/c and can opener at Wal-Mart, new purse for me for K-Mart (the strap was ripping) – new sneakers for John – then we filled up the gas tank and got groceries. Ah yes – it feels good to have $$$$ to replace things when they break – or even get new things! I bust my ass at my job – and reap the rewards. I have a well earned sense of pride of doing for myself and not having to owe anything to anybody – except my mortgage company and the gas company and the electric company and Discover card and JCPenney and Home Depot, lol.
So Chimp – you will just have to wait your turn – I got a busy life. Take a number and have a seat. I’ll get back to you.
have a banana while you wait.
quit your damn whining Chimp – you bad little monkey. I’ll answer you when I feel like it.
The latest “wisdom” from Joan Wheeler, um, well, actually, she’s trying to show that she has some widsom April 14, 2012Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cyberbullying, emotional blackmail, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity, theft
I rarely go over to Joan Wheeler’s website – because it’s all the same bullshit over and over. anti-adoption, and how Joan has suffered because of her adoption. Ho-Hum.
But this morning, I went over there and found this little ditty that she put up:
A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe. – Wayne Dyer
I like Dr. Dyer. I have several audio cassettes and cd’s of his motivational lectures. But I think Joan is just trying as usual to pump herself up for her blog-readers. Well, actually, what is going on, is Joan is trying to “stick it” to us again. She has found out the past 2 and a half years that she can’t shut us up. Since we’ve had this blog, and were successful in getting her filthy book pulled from publication, Joan has tried to shut us up several ways.
She went to the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum and incited them to come over to this blog and try to shut us “fuckheads” down. (Her words: “If enough of us complain to wordpress, we can shut those fuckheads down.” And a whole bunch of them came over and left obscene messages here. That was in February 2010. She tried it again in May 2010. A few of them came over. She tried again several months later. Nobody came. She got her then-boyfriend to do it. He left a couple of nasty messages here. She got Susan Thompson Underdahl to try some shit with us. Failed. Just as in the past, she tried to get Rene Hoksbergen (in 1993) to help her extort money from Kathy. And this was just 3 years after she stole hundreds of dollars from me.
She put up a “cyber-bullying” blog to show that we birth sisters of hers are cyber-bullying” her because we dare to take lies from her book and tell the truth. This so-called cyber-bullying” page is in itself an act of cyber-bullying by Joan of us, because it is full of our personal information. And twisted lies.
She keeps saying all over the internet that because we dared to speak up about the truth of our own lives, we are “hurting” her. We are “harassing” her. We are “running her into the ground.” We are making her “go inside herself.” We are making her “have panic and anxiety attacks and be depressed.” – all this, because we find a lie she said about us and we told the truth.
And the worst thing she did was enlist her then-boyfriend to write a hate message in my father’s memorial book in the funeral home, just across the room from my father’s body.
She posted some lying crap about my grandfather on the Huffington Post, and the results were that she got kicked off that website.
On March 5, 2012, she left her first and only comment to this blog, taking a past post of mine, and taking things out of context, tried to show that I was inciting her to commit suicide. I picked about her comment, and even posted an actual photograph of Joan that showed a line in her comment was a lie.
Now we have this quote from Dr. Dyer. Is it to show how progessive she is in her thinking? No, not by a long shot.
Here is the quote again, and pay attention to the bolded words: A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.
No, Joan didn’t put that quote up there to help anyone (not even herself), or to show that she’s getting some wisdom – she put that up there to try to “teach” us nasty birth sisters to stop “harming” her.
We’ve been accused of all sorts of harm to Joan. The big one that I was accused of was calling child abuse on her in December 1994 and saying that she and my then-fiance were sexually abusing her children. The caller identified themself as me.
I have posted actual written letter BY JOAN to my fiance and his mother after this child abuse call. In it, she is telling John to leave me, trying to get his mother to turn against me.
In the months before the abuse call was made, Joan was on the phone with my employer calling them almost every day to get me fired over a false accusation that I had hacked into my employer’s computers and tampered with her medical bill. I was investigated and found innocent. Joan says again on her cyber-bullying page that I am a computer hacker. So in 1994, she couldn’t get me fired, so she calls child abuse on herself, and gives my name as the caller, names my fiance as the abuser. This was a blatant attempt to break me and John up. Didn’t work, the fiance is now my husband – 10 years now. – This was also the time frame (1993-1995) that Joan’s own marriage was breaking up.
I’ve been accused of other “harms” to her – read this blog – you’ll find them all documented here.
So now we have Joan, trying to give some “anti-harm” wisdom. Oh really Joan, you’ll have to do better than that. – For one thing, to soothe your guilty conscience, you need to read that page at the top and on the right side menu – “What is demanded of Joan Wheeler.” and I have copied and pasted that entire list of demands at the end of this post.
No, reader, Joan Wheeler is not Miss Goody-Two-Shoes. In reality, she is Ms. Bull-Shit-Boots.
“Anti-harm” wisdom? oh puh-leaze Joan. Like you didn’t mean to harm me when you called my employer repeatedly to get me fired? Like you didn’t me to harm us when you called us “fuckheads” on the adoptee forum? Like you didn’t mean to harm us when you told all those filthy lies in your book? Like you didn’t mean to harm us in that filty rant of yours on your blog in December 2009 when you threatened to expose “all the dirty little secrets” you think we sisters have? That’s called emotional blackmail Joan – and it is HARM. And readers, I have challenged Joan many times in the past on this blog to come forth and tell everybody just what dirty little secrets she thinks she has over us. I challenged her again last month! We have no “dirty little secrets” to have exposed.
So you see reader, what a sniveling little bull-shitter Joan Wheeler is. And a low-down hypocrite.
“A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.”
Right Joan – if I were you, I would read those words very carefully, over and over and then read this list of demands again. Only one demand has been met, the pulling of the book off the market, and it wasn’t done voluntarily by Joan. We birth sisters did it. By showing documented proof – actual court documents – that Joan Wheeler HARMED us by slandering us in her book.
What is demanded from Joan Wheeler
The Three Sippel Sisters, having read the book Forbidden Family by Joan Wheeler, have discovered many many falsehoods, lies, misrepresentations, and false accusations of us, our family members, our family situation, and even some of our friends. Ms. Wheeler has also been on her website and various places on the internet spreading these same lies and accusations.
The purpose of this blog is to refute and debunk Ms. Wheeler’s statements that she puts forth in her book and on the internet. We also will discuss Ms. Wheeler’s behavior in real life, because it is detrimental to us and our family.
The Three Sippel Sisters demand the following:
1. Public apology and retraction from Joan Wheeler for the following:
1.Falsely accusing Gert of repeatedly sexually molesting Ms. Wheeler.
2.Falsely accusing Ruth of having a criminal record and being placed on probation.
3.Falsely accusing Ruth of calling child abuse on Ms. Wheeler in December 1994. In the book, she lists it as happening in 1993, on the internet in May and September 2010, she lists it as 1996. – (only a liar can’t keep dates straight – I have scanned and posted an actual letter sent by Joan dated December 1994 to New York State Child Abuse authorities and in it she states the call was made Dec. 1994. Why are there 3 different years listed by Joan in this letter, in her book, and on the internet?
4.Falsely asserting that there was a 3 month court battle in the spring of 1994 over this child abuse call. (which according to her letter didn’t occur until months later, and on the internet, years later). There was never a 3 month court battle between Joan and Ruth. and again, why does she keep mixing up the date of the call? Perhaps because she keeps lying about it.
5.Falsely accusing Ruth of hacking into computers where Ruth works and tampering with Ms. Wheeler’s medical bill in late 1994.
6.For six months of almost daily phone calls placed to Ruth’s place of employment for the purpose of Ruth losing her job. This was AFTER Ruth’s employer’s investigated Joan’s complaint in the fall of 1994, determined that Ruth was innocent, informed Joan of this, yet Joan continued into the spring of 1995 with calling various departments in the hospital and falsely informing them that Ruth did tamper with her bill.
7.Falsely asserting that Ms. Wheeler has had “multiple orders of protection” against the 3 Sippel Sisters.
8.Falsely asserting that the one and only Order of Protection Ms. Wheeler ever received (against Ruth) was for one year, when in reality it was for 6 months.
9.Falsely asserting that the 3 Sippel Sisters repeatedly interfere with Ms. Wheeler’s life and harass her.
10.For using our picture on the back cover of her book without our permission. The book is used for monetary gain, therefore, Ms. Wheeler is making money from our likeness.
11.For writing letters to Anthony J. Masiello, when he was mayor of the city of Buffalo and other elected officials, giving them personal and private details of Ruth’s life, thereby invading Ruth’s privacy.
12.For stealing Kathy’s money and belongings in 1993.
13.For stealing Ruth’s money in 1990 and the bead trim off the wedding dress of our mother, which was Ruth’s property.
14.An apology and explanation that Ms. Wheeler lied to Professor Rene Hoksbergen, and asked him to interfere with Kathy’s life in 1993, thereby invading Kathy’s privacy.
15.For all lies and misrepresentations that are contained in the book and on her website.
2. Joan WILL comply with the following:
1.The complete pulling of the book Forbidden Family off the market.
2. Full return of Kathy’s money and belongings that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1993.
3.Full return of Ruth’s money that was stolen by Ms. Wheeler in 1990
4.The cessation of posting any more about her sisters ANYwhere on the internet, except when discussing her adoption and she is to limit her discussion of her sisters to say that she has 3 older birth sisters, one who first made the contact with her, and due to personality conflicts, any reunion between Joan and her 3 birth sisters has been terminated.
3. Ms. Wheeler will cease her public statements that:
1.Our father was coerced into relinquishing her for adoption. It has always been his assertion that he was NOT coerced.
2. The 3 Sippel Sisters are “trashing” her on the internet via “multiple” adoption reform sites.
4. We Three Sippel Sisters further demand a public apology from Professor Rene Hoksbergen for his interference with Kathy in 1993, and his recent “professional” review of the book Forbidden Family, wherein, he is guilty of spreading a false allegation of sexual abuse by the person of Gertrude McQueen. Professor Hoksbergen did not check any “facts” that Joan Wheeler alleges, and therefore he is guilty also of damaging the reputation of Mrs. McQueen, and the other two Sippel Sisters.
Unless and until ALL these listed items are complied with by Joan Wheeler, (and Professor Hoksbergen), this blog will remain an active blog with every printed lie, misrepresentation, or misdeed of Joan Wheeler’s, either in the book, or on the internet, or real life, WILL be refuted and the truth WILL be documented. Further, any future lies, falsehoods, misrepresentations, and further invasion of the privacy of The Three Sippel Sisters, their families and friends, will result in the continuation of this blog.
ALSO: Ruth hereby demands that Joan Wheeler’s ex-husband Colby Allen Bell repay every penny of the money he stole from her in 1990. – $490.00. He withdrew $500.00 from the joint checking account that Ruth had with them to purchase real estate (with her permission) to purchase a case of fireworks. Colby was supposed to replace that money when the fireworks were sold. He did not. He repaid Ruth only $10.00.
Further, in 1991, 3 ATM withdrawals were made totalling $400.00 from Joan and Colby’s checking account, causing their rent check to bounce. Joan and Colby accused Ruth of doing it. The following year, Colby was caught on a student video, admitting that it was HE who withdrew the money to support his habit of frequenting strip joints.
Ruth demands a formal and public apology from Colby from his theft of her money and a formal and public apology from both Joan and Colby concerning the accusation that she illegally made ATM withdrawals, which could have resulted with a criminal investigation of her by the bank and law enforcement. This could have damaged her reputation irreparably.
Again, until ALL demands here listed are FULLY met, this blog will remain active and the public shall know just what kind of persons Joan Wheeler and her ex-husband are.
very interesting!! So Joan put this little ditty up yesterday? after I posted on my blog
Do we see Joan Wheeler’s childhood anywhere in here? And is it possible for her to ‘heal’ herself?
which contains the article—
7 Steps to Lasting Change: Finding Freedom from Addiction by Deepak Chopra, M.D., F.A.C.P.
In the article he focuses on Childhood Roots of Addiction…
and my point is that Joan Wheeler has had a childhood of many abuses and she has NOT addressed them and that is WHY she is so hateful and angry.
Joan…your karma is catching up to you…you can’t get away from it.
right Gert – we have long suspected that Joan suffered abuse from someone when she was a child. She speaks very little of her childhood in her book. Indeed, she hardly ever spoke of her childhood to me while we were close – once upon a time.
In her book, while relating several incidents, Joan goes out of her way to describe hand and arm movements from those who she is talking about. stuff like: Hands up, arm sweeping, arms outstreched, hands open, a swipe of his right arm, palm facing down,a swipe of his open hand in the air, palm side down, upper arms close to his side, elbows bent, clenched fists at waist.swept his arm in the air, palm up to the night sky, ..ran away from me, her arms up in the air, …vigorously waved his finger in the air, hands behind his back,
There are many other such instances. of hand and arm movements.
And people are always snapping and snarling.growling – I have never read a book before in my life that has so much attention on hands hands hands – Joan – this is something you need to tell your therapist – and that ditz therapist Nicole Urdang, who gave a “good” review of this crap book on Amazon – it’s another clue she missed. – readers – I wrote a letter to Urdang in 2010 telling her she was a poor therapist because she missed the clues – this was not a good book at all – it is not helpful in any sort of adoption reform – it’s a manifesto of hate against anyone who ever disagreed with Joan, and a desciption of an alcoholic woman descending into madness.
So Joan is now “against” harming people. right, sure, if she so believes Dr. Dyer’s words, she would put her money where her mouth is – and take down that cyber-bullying blog – because it is nothing but harm to us. Take your own advice Joan and stop harming me and my sisters with your lies.
Joan – if you truly advocate Dr. Dyer’s words – you would make amends for all the harm you have done to people thruout your life. Not just to us birth sisters – but to everyone you have insulted thru the years and in your book. Yes, by insulting Polish people, Catholics, and people who live in trailer parks, you have sent harm to them. – Readers, in her book, Joan refers to people in trailer parks as “trailer trash.” She puts down people who live on the East Side of Buffalo (traditionally teh rough tough inner city.) – So the inner city is rough, has gangs, is economically depressed. Does that mean EVERYone who lives is trash? The mayor of our city lives on the east side. My district councilman lives on the east side. My mother’s family grew up on the east side. My husband’s family lives on the east side (and all my brother in law’s kids went to college). – And I live on the east side. I organized a block club on my street. Attended seminars and meetings with city officials to better the life of not just my neighoberhood, but the whole city. What does Joan do with that little bit of info? – She slams me for it in her book. What asshole slams another person for doing their civic duty by trying to improve the quality of life in their community? – Joan! Because all she knows what to do is insult people and put them down – thereby HARMING them.
Joan, why don’t you just SHUT THE HELL UP?!!!
4. gertmcqueen Gert again…
And before Joan starts again with the lie that we were abused and that HER ADOPTION caused us severe mental illnesses…I will state here NOW…
I was NOT abused as a child. I have never been been treated for any kind of addiction…I quit smoking 12 years ago…I have never been treated of any kind of mental illness or depression…Besides life’s usual ups and downs I’ve NEVER stayed in bed for days! I have held private and government jobs for over 40 years.
And perhaps most importantly….I have taken care of my physical, emotional and spiritual live with an on-going holistic life-style.
Joan’s insistence that we and others are damaged is just another form of ‘projection’ of her own ills onto everyone else.
Joan is a very sick person who harms everyone who stands in her sick way. And…time is ticking away…she isn’t getting any younger and before long she will be on her death bed wishing someone cared about her and gives a shit about her…the harm that she has done to everyone in the birth family is starting to turn itself on to her…
Joan’s face is being rubbed into her own shit, because, she doesn’t know enough to not shit where she lives….
5. Ruth –
Oh another thing – I mentioned Joan slams the Catholic religion. She also slammed Pagans.
Way way back in an unprovoked incident of cyber-bullying of her birth sisters in September 2008 on her now-defunct blogspot blog.
At that time, I was the only one on the internet. Gert, having been working on computers and early internet in the mid 1990′s, publishing books, was burnt out and stepped away from the internet. Kathy, had never touched a computer, let alone expereinced the internet.
I had found her blog and saw a rant she did about (ho-hum) her crappy adoption. She was slamming her adoptive family. Then she slammed her birth family. She put out a “warning” to the Three Sippel Sisters to stay out of her life – which we were! Then she went on to slam the Christians for not preventing her adoption – then she said something about Christain and Pagan values.- This was a direct slam against Gert and mine religion. And she knew Gert was a pagan. She talks about in her book. I’m not sure if she knew I was a pagan at the time.
I am what is known as Neo-Pagan, Wiccan. And the most important charge we have is this: HARM NONE.
As I said, the attack on our pagan religion was done in September 2008 BEFORE her book was published. BEFORE this blog was in existence, BEFORE I tried to defend our family from Joan’s lies and misrepresentations of our family in an online news article in October/November 2009.
So Joan the HYPOCRITE has a lot of dam nerve putting up a blog accusing me and my sister of cyberbullying, when it was JOAN herself who began the cyberbullying A FULL YEAR BEFORE THIS BLOG WAS IN EXISTENCE!
AND on that blog of 2008, she committed the HATE CRIME of slamming other people’s religion!
NOW she comes on the internet and quotes a motivational speaker’s words against HARMING people?
Joan, SHUT THE HELL UP!
6. Ruth –
To this day, Joan goes on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum and other anti-adoption sites and swears at and aobut anybody who is pro-adoption. She cyber-bullys ANY one is for adoption. She swears at them, calls them names.
Joan, my dear, by swearing at people on the internet, for their lifestyles, their beliefs, their choice of family life is HARMING people.
Joan – you are nothing but a hypocrite and a bullshit LIAR.
reposting from Gert McQueen’s blog: Was Rene Hoksbergen ever really a friend to Joan Wheeler, or did she just use him like she does everyone? (originally published on December 23, 2011) December 26, 2011Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family.
Tags: adoption, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, dishonesty, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, embellishing the truth, false accusations, Gert McQueen, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Joe Soll, LIBEL, Lies, Professor Rene Hoksbergen, Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, stealing, stealing from your own family, theft
Joan M Wheeler has published a new ‘revision’ of the same old hate manifesto and renamed it ‘Duped by Adoption’. I have created a new blog and Facebook page…
Here are the links to my NEW blog and Facebook page
On Amazon, I have reviewed 7 reviews of this ‘new’ garbage book and created a ‘discussion’ on the Forward, by Rene Hoksbergen.
Here’s the link to the DISCUSSION about the FORWARD on Amazon
Here’s the link to a recent blog post Nov 3, 2015 about the contents of the forward
Here are the related links to blog posts that Ruth and I have already written and addressed topics related to Rene Hoksbergen, the author of the Forward.
https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/gert-mcqueens-review-of-rene-hoksbergens-review-of-forbidden-family-by-joan-wheeler/ this one is about the review in LAVAContact2 2010 English translation
NOW BACK TO THIS POST
Post by: J on September 06, 2010, 02:33:45 AM
An adoptive parent on a Dutch forum wrote that if his adopted child asks for his birthcertificate only the names of his adoptive parents are on there. Apparently, they changed the law. It was never like this. To him it feels like fraud. Is there a website about the OBC’s in the US which he can read and gives information about why adoptees are against this? He is very active, and I would like others to read it as well.
Post by: He September 06, 2010, 07:19:31 AM
Post by: C on September 06, 2010, 12:56:17 PM
The idea is that the privacy of the birth mom and the formation of the “new family” demanded that we issue birth certificates like this one. Since that is how we are going to play, I had my full name legally changed and had a new birth certificate issued. It still has my adoptive parent’s names on it, but makes it clear that we are not related since my last name is not the same as either of theirs. Take that! :gottabat2:
Post by: 1adoptee on September 06, 2010, 06:21:44 PM
Verzonden: maandag 6 september 2010 16:10
Onderwerp: Dutch birth certificate for adoptee – question
RE: Dutch birth certificate for adoptee – question
You have your birthcert. And adoptioncert. Nothing changed in holland.
What I find interesting and amusing is that several months ago I sent Hoksbergen a private message via facebook upbraiding him for his support of Joan Wheeler – and I told him in no uncertain terms that he needs to drop support of Joan because of the lies she told about him and me in her book. She says that he came to my house – he was NEVER in my house. She describes me as yelling and screaming at him – no, I never did. I met him once – AT JOAN’S HOUSE. And I barely spoke to the man as I am shy around new people – besides, unlike Joan, I HAVE MANNERS.
I challenged Hoksbergen to come forward and TELL THE TRUTH about his meeting me, his never being in my house, my never yelling at him. – He hasn’t had the courage to come forward. WHY?
Another amusing point – I sent Hoksbergen a friend request on facebook – AND HE ACCEPTED IT! What an ass! I don’t want to be his friend – I wanted to see what he was going to do!
So – he is one my facebook friend list AND on Joan’s facebook friends list. What is he trying to prove? Is he spying on me? Well fine – because when a real juicy blog post here on Gert’s blog – or my blog – gets publicized on my facebook page, it automatically shows up on the newsfeeds of ALL my friends – Hoksbergen included. So he can see right away what we write on our blogs about HIM (when we do) and his little “friend” Joni Wheeler. — wonder just how “friendly” they were! ha ha ha. – I don’t know about the professor – but I sure know about Joan.
by her own words, on her own website, Joan Wheeler admits to fraud December 24, 2011Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, bullying, copyright infringement, cyberbullying, dishonesty, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, fraud, harassment, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, LIBEL, Lies, Lori Corangelo, misrepresenting one's credentials, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths, theft, wrongful publication of a photo that the author does not own the copyright to!
Here is a screenshot that I took of Joan Wheeler’s “About” page on her Forbidden Family website.
this is her trying to justify her publishing MY childhood photo on the back of her book. I took this screenshot on December 24, 2011 0500 (5:00am).
Carefully read what she has to say:
“This photograph of my natural family was taken in Autumn of 1955. My mother is pregnant with me. This is the only family “portrait” I have. My deceased natural mother’s sister (my aunt) sent the photograph to my adoptive aunt who then gave the photograph to my adoptive parents in 1956. My adoptive mother gave me the photograph when I was 18 years old and newly reunited with my natural family.”
Okay, first – we have no way of knowing exactly what month this picture was taken – it could have been early summer 1955. Because I, (in my father’s arms), am awful small for a three year old. This picture could have even been taken in 1954 when I was 2 years old. – Whatever – the other point is – even if Mom was pregnant – (she looks fat – NOT pregnant) – Joan was NOT a legal entity when the photograph was taken.
Joan admits right here that she was not given a paper copy of the photo until she was 18 years old in 1974. Since I and other members of the extended Herr family – my mother’s siblings and their children also had copies of this same photo – it shows us that this photo was widely distributed AFTER my mother’s death. This photo could have been taken by any number of persons – my paternal grandmother, who only lived a few blocks from us, a member of the Herr family, heck, it could even have been taken by our landlord Mr. Johnson. (not Williams, Joan – JOHNSON).
In the terms and conditions set forth by Trafford Publications for their authors, it is stipulated that the author must own the sole copyright to the work and ALL IT’S CONTENT.
So how does Joan Wheeler think she owns the sole copyright of a photograph that she is NOT in, was NOT the photographer, did not even see it, or own a COPY of until 18 years AFTER the photo was taken?
And Joan, my dear, if I find out that you took MY baby picture and took out a copyright/patent on MY baby picture – YOU ARE GUILTY OF FRAUD!
That’s right readers, (pay attention Lori Corangelo) – JOAN WHEELER DEFRAUDED TRAFFORD PUBLICATIONS WHEN SHE SIGNED THE CONTRACT WITH THEM. AND I WILL GO AFTER JOAN VIA MY ATTORNEY IF I FIND OUT THAT SHE OBTAINED A FRAUDULENT COPYRIGHT ON MY PHOTOGRAPH. – and you will end up in jail – or the psych ward – I don’t care which – just as long as you get put away so you can stop your lying on the internet and stop your lying mouth!
from Gert McQueen’s blog: Do some adoptees, that have mental illness, get it from their genes or environment or because they are adopted? Joan Wheeler presents her views! November 7, 2011Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions, cowardice, embellishing the truth, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, mental illness, mental instability, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, stupidity, theft, whining
« on: October 24, 2011, 03:28:47 PM »
Nancy Verrier’s other book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, is one that ought to be given to any therapist who treats an adoptee. Verrier addresses the core issues of abandonment and loss. On page 429: “…proceeds from the separation trauma. It would be a huge mistake to try to untangle the adoptee’s relationship to the adoptive parents without understanding of the lens through which the adoptee views them. All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well. Something devastating happened to him which makes him distrust close relationships.” … “Instead of pathologizing society’s penchant for separating babies and their mothers, we pathologize the victims of a grave wrongdoing… We need to normalize the adoptee’s and the birth mother’s responses to this separation or at least come up with a better diagnosis, because what is happening is that inaccurate diagnoses are resulting in poor or harmful treatment.” “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions….The most notorious is the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. This term is frequently used within the mental health profession as little more than (page 430) a sophisticated insult…..Adoptees are not Borderlines!” Basically, adoptees do not split in their minds. Adoptees actually do have two mothers and two fathers. (my words) On page 448: “This brings us to a more accurate diagnosis for what adoptees and birth mothers are suffering from —- post-traumatic stress disorder. …trauma is based in reality, unlike other psychological disorders, trauma is based on a true experience.” Get the book and ask your therapist to read it.
“All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well..
Really? – What I UNDERSTAND is that when I was reunited with my adopted-out birth sister Joan Wheeler, after I opened my life and arms and heart to her is that is was clear that her morals and values were NOT like mine, or other members of my family. We were raised not to steal, not to lie, to treat people with kindness. Unlike Joan. I don’t know where she learned it from – but just a few years after our reunion she turned into a bitch.
She lied to me, manipulated me, stole from me, harassed me, set me up to phone her by sending me forged letters and greeting cards, (and when I phoned, she hung up on me, then told the police that it was ME who was placing annoyance phone calls), then she called my job to get me fired, tried to break me and my fiance up, wrote letters to his mother trashing me, wrote letters to elected officials, called child abuse on herself, implicating me, sent me a letter telling me my infertile husband got the next door neighbor pregnant, writes a book full of slander and libel. – Sooo what’s to understand?
So, let me get this straight – in Nancy Verrier’s book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, she says, “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions”
I don’t need to have doctorate as a “helping profession” (does she mean psyciatrists, psychologists, mental health counselors), to know that WRONGFUL THINGS were done to me by an out-of-control person who refuses to grow up.
As for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – many many people suffer from it. But that does not give ANYbody an excuse to break the law, harass other people, bully other people, or generally be a total idiot. My husband is a Vietnam Veteran who has PTSD and still somehow holds down a job, owns a house, takes care of the house and me, is a law-abiding person, does not bully or bother anyone. So don’t give that crap that Joan Wheeler’s behavioral problems needs to be “understood.” BULL! She’s a trouble-making liar, plain and simple as that.
so getting back to the queston on the forum: “If you are diagnosed mentally ill…. do you feel it is genetics, crazy upbringing by aparents or is it just the life on an adoptee? where do you think it comes from.” – – I don’t care where it comes from – all I know is that I have been used and abused by Joan Wheeler and I don’t give a damn about any so-called “trauma” Joan has endured – from anything – all I know is IT DOES NOT GIVE HER THE RIGHT TO TURN AROUND AND TRAUMATIZE ME.
I was NOT traumatized by HER adoption! so get that thought right out of your heads. I suffered from the loss of MY mother. Then my father’s disastrous second marriage. Yet, I managed to grow up into a law-abiding person, who is contributing member of society, a person who has held down the same job in the same facility for 39 years, who saw disinetgrating quality of life issues on my street (drug use, litter, rodents) and organized a block club and worked with local government officials to correct those problems. And for that – Joan ridicules me in her book. What asshole ridicules a person who is trying to better American society? Joan Wheeler – that’s who. Oh, I’m SORRY, poor little Joan was adopted, and despite the title of that book (adoptees grow up) – Joan Wheeler will NEVER grow up. – excuse me while I go puke.
It’s so much easier to place the blame on someone or something else when you fuck up.
“The devil made me do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.
“You made do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.
“My rotten childhood made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.
“My adoptive parents made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.
We are human and we will all make mistakes. The point is, when you make a mistake, own up to it. There is no devil, no other person, be they your parent (adopted or birth), other family member, boss, rude cashier at the store, co-worker, customer, neighbor, that can MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT TO DO!
I have said before on my blog – when Joan has written lies about me on the internet – it wasn’t me who forced my way into her house, hold her gunpoint, march her to the computer and “make” her type out lies about me – it was Joan herself, who made the concsious decision to write her lies. And she has gotten caught in some lies, some contradictions on the internet. We have copied and pasted her words, making notes of the dates and place where she said something, and then a few months later, we have seen her contradict herself on the internet. Again, I didn’t hold a gun to her to make her make a liar out of herself. She alone did that. As it was Joan’s conscious decision all these years to commit those harassments against me and others. She just doesn’t have the courage and backbone to stand up for herself and admit it. She’s a sniveling little coward and will just lay all the blame on me and her other sisters for the failure of our reunion. Or blame someone else.
There’s a cute little thing about blame – when you point a finger at someone, look at your hand, you will see your other fingers all pointing back at — YOU!
Stop with the whining, the blaming, the nonsense that “I was adopted, I can’t help myself” bullshit. ‘Cos that’s all it is – BULLSHIT!
And if you’re mentally ill, for god’s sake, take your damn medications so you won’t be a nuisance to other. Because we all have busy lives and we don’t have time for you losers. Maybe you didn’t ask to be mentally ill, and for that, I’m genuinely sorry, just like I feel bad for people with MS, cancer, cystic fibrosis. HOWEVER, my sympathy stops when you make MY life miserable and then turn around gleefully and say, “It’s not my fault – I got PTSD!” – ‘cos I don’t buy that excuse either.
Suffer the wrath of the wronged birth sister who had nothing to do with Joan Wheeler’s adoption (via Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family –) August 15, 2011Posted by Ruth in Uncategorized.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, angry adoptee, announcements-and-updates, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, contradictions-of-joan-wheeler, cyberbullying, dishonesty, Disrespect, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, hatred of infertile women, joan-wheeler-speak-how-joan-views-the-world, joan-wheelers-abuse-and-harassment-of-her-birth-family, LIBEL, Lies, lies-in-the-book-forbidden-family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity, theft, whining, wrath of the angry adoptee, wrath of the birth family
until my thumb/wrist tendon is fully healed and can do more extensive typing (my one hand typing has gotten pretty good, but not good enough) – I will reblog a couple of recent posts – here’s a good one!
by Ruth Pace There’s a thread on the adoptee forum entitled Suffer the Wrath of the Adoptee. I’ll read it when I get a chance, but for now, I want to give my opinion on just the title of this thread. These adoptees like to label themselves ANGRY ADOPTEES. They are angry because for whatever circumstances went on in their lives, they were adopted. I can’t comment on their stories, because I don’t know them, I don’t know what happened. Frankly, i … Read More
Suffer the wrath of the wronged birth sister who had nothing to do with Joan Wheeler’s adoption June 18, 2011Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, adoption reform, adoption reunion, angry adoptee, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cyberbullying, dishonesty, Disrespect, emotional abuse, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, hatred of infertile women, LIBEL, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, SLANDER, spreading untruths, stupidity, theft, whining, wrath of the angry adoptee, wrath of the birth family
by Ruth Pace
There’s a thread on the adoptee forum entitled Suffer the Wrath of the Adoptee. I’ll read it when I get a chance, but for now, I want to give my opinion on just the title of this thread.
These adoptees like to label themselves ANGRY ADOPTEES. They are angry because for whatever circumstances went on in their lives, they were adopted. I can’t comment on their stories, because I don’t know them, I don’t know what happened. Frankly, it’s none of my business. I can only comment on the adoption that I know all about – that of my younger sister Joan Wheeler, who also calls herself an ANGRY ADOPTEE.
I can’t control her anger. That is something she has to deal with. Whatever beef she’s got against my father, her aparents, the system – has NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. I was only 3 ½ years old when she was adopted by the Wheelers. I only heard that we had a new baby sister when she was born, then never saw her. Because of my father’s second wife’s illness, and her need to be placed in the psych center a couple of times, we remaining kids did indeed spend some years in foster care and a year in a children’s home. A couple of us lived here, a couple of us lived over there, and a couple of us lived somewhere else. (My stepmother had two sons of her own, so now there were six kids that needed to be looked after). When I was a little kid, I knew our younger sister was “adopted” and living somewhere else. I didn’t know what the word adopted meant. All I knew was that there was a total of 7 kids – 5 Sippels and 2 Genoveses scattered around. (4 Sippel kids, plus Doris/Joan and 2 stepbrothers).
Trauma? Nope, because this was NORMAL for us. And from time to time, we would all get back together, and we all saw each other regularly. Where ever I lived, I had tons of friends! We were never mistreated. Eventually it began to sink in what adoption exactly meant and when we were teenagers, naturally we wanted to be reunited with our sister Doris/Joan. And by then, we recognized the fact that because of the legal system, we couldn’t contact her. But we were determined to find her, and we did.
When I was reunited with Joan in 1974, I opened up my life to her and my heart. I never judged her. I accepted her as she was. In 1974, I had been on my job for 2 years. In 1971, I had my first apartment, (actually a room in a boarding house), then in 1972, I had a roomie, in 1973, I moved back to my Dad’s house to save money, and to help out with the kids from my father’s third marriage. In May 1974, two months after meeting Joan, I got my first real apartment. In 1975 I met a wonderful man and we moved in together. We lived together for 10 years.
And Joan was always a part of my life after our reunion. And yes, I accepted her, never judged her, she was my sister. We would do things as my time and my life allowed, just as with every other relationship in my life.
But by the 1980’s Joan began to lash out at us. She interfered with Gert’s children in 1981-83. In 1985, right after I had my miscarriage, she showed NO sympathy for my infertility. Went out of her way to bring up subjects that she KNEW would hurt me. I know the world does not end when a woman, who has been trying for years to conceive loses her baby, but when someone DELIBRATELY sets out to hurt someone – that is unacceptable. Even during a phone conversation in April 1987, she was babbling on about how she “knows” all about infertility. (no, she knows book stuff, but NEVER experiencing the pain of infertility or the grief of loss of your child – she does NOT know). I told her THREE times during this conversation that I was planning on seeing a grief counselor and I DID NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! To her, or anyone else! THREE times I said this – did she RESPECT MY WISHES? NO! She just kept on blabbing about how she knows about infertility. What a f’ing disrespectful bitch. That’s when I hung up on her and did not contact her. 2 months later I moved in with my present husband. I sent my mail to a friend’s house in Lackawanna NY. For a year, she kept calling my job in the daytime – (I worked nights – still do). I would come in to work and find notes paperclipped to my timecard to call Joan. And I would throw the notes out. After I reconnected with her in 1988, she told me she went to the post office and got my forwarding address in Lackawanna and tried to find me – but the people there said they didn’t know me. ha ha ha – (thank you Hassan). So who was STALKING whom – even back in 1987? But Joan bitches about ME stalking her when I read her shit online? She’s got a lot of f’ing nerve!
oh and by the way – when I did go to the grief counselor, I told her of the phone conversation I had with Joan. The counselor was appalled! She said Joan was disrespectful of me. (like I need a counselor to tell me that – but it was nice to know that a professional recognized Joan’s rotten behavior for what it was).
From 1987 to 1988, I did not speak to Joan because of her disrespect to me. BUT in 1988 I tried to have a relationship with her. By 1990, she was at it again. She stole hundreds of dollars from me, we had a fight on the telephone over money she promised me. She called me on the phone and dictated to me” “I know I said that I was going to give you this sum, but I changed my mind.” (paraphrase) I told her to keep the money and I never wanted to see her again.
This is what started the feud that continues to this day. Because I DARED to stand up for myself. I NEVER belittled Joan’s activism in the adoption reform field. And it was ME who told her to write her book! (silly me).
So let’s get back to this “suffer the wrath of the adoptee” business.
I WANT TO KNOW WHY JOAN WHEELER IS ANGRY WITH ME!!!!! AND WHY SHOULD RUTH SUFFER? WHEN RUTH HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH JOAN’S ADOPTION?
As I said, I was only 3 ½ years old when she was adopted. I had nothing to do with it. From 1956 to 1974, I always wanted Joan in my life. From 1974 – 1987, I accepted and LOVED her. It was JOAN who destroyed our relationship in 1990 by stealing money from me. Money that she knew wasn’t even mine! I had borrowed it from the bank! Joan put me into debt!
Then Joan set out to PUNISH me for being angry with her. In 1993, she baited me with a forged letter. (see post Did Joan’s 10 year old son write that letter I got in June 1993? Or did Joan herself? ) Like a fool, I fell for it. I called her on the phone, she hung up. I called back, she hung up again. I called again. She hung up. What I did not know, she had a trace trap on the phone. SHE was the one hanging up on me, but she filed a false police report saying that I called her, swore at her and hung up on her. A week later, my electricity was shut off. She still owed me money. I called her on the phone. The first call, I was crying and said, “Joan, don’t hang up, I need help.” She did hang up. I called back, she hung up. Now I was angry, and I did call and swore at her. Admit it- you would do the same. And of course, these additional calls were caught by the annoyance call bureau. So the bitch hauled me into court. No, I was NOT arrested, and yes, a six-month order of protection was given to Joan. The judge told me to stay away from her for six months and everything would be dismissed. No, I was not placed on probation. Yes, I did stay away from her for YEARS.
In the fall of 1994, Joan’s hospital bill got mixed up with another patient. She swore up and down that I did it. She complained to my employer. They investigated it. I did not do it. She wasn’t going to have it. She set out to change the events. She called my job for the next six months trying to get me fired. In December 1994, she called child abuse on herself, posing as me, and giving out my fiance’s name! Then in February 1995, I get a packet of letters in the mail from her – copies of letters that she had been mailing around to various elected officials in the Buffalo area – one of them being the mayor of Buffalo! These letters included my personal medical history and my life choices, where I worked, where I lived! I filed harassment and stalking charges against her. But the judge dismissed it, saying “sisters should get along.” By the way, during the time frame of December 1994 – April 1995, Joan was writing letters to my fiancé, sending them to his mother’s house, even wrote a letter to my future mother-in-law – the letters telling John to break up with me. She even telephoned John’s mother a few times, to trash me, then her other son grabbed the phone and told Joan if she ever called their m’f’ing house again, she would have to answer to him, and stop bothering his mother!
Joan continued harassing me. In February 1999, I received two letters from her. One telling me that my fiancé had gotten the next door neighbor pregnant. (the house was vacant). The other one accused me of driving past her house – when at the time, I did not have a car.
This time, I took her to Family Court. And was granted a one year order of protection against her. These were the only 3 times we were in court – and in previous posts, I have scanned and posted the actual court documents pertaining to them.
Joan finally stopped sending me garbage letters, but continued her hate campaign against me. She seethed in anger and I see that it built up in her, year after year. In 2009 she self-published her book and her anger and hate against me is very evident – almost every other page is anger and hate directed at me. She directs anger and hate against other people – but me in particular. She changes events around, LIES and says that it was ME who harassed her.
So again, let’s get back to the “Wrath of the Angry Adoptee.” Joan is angry, no doubt about it. But WHY is she angry at ME???
Around 1988-89, she managed to get MY former foster-mother mad at her. Joan, in her obsession to “re-connect” with her birth family re-traced her siblings childhood history, going around to the neighborhood we lived in as children, introducing herself to people who still lived there, and even meeting our former foster-mother. Now I had told her something, IN CONFIDENCE – that when I lived there – I didn’t want to be there. That was no reflection on the care they gave me – they were wonderful people – but I wanted to be with my father. What does Joan do? She goes and blabs that to my foster mother and made her cry. She was an elderly woman. She was a friend of one of my cousins, and cried to her. Gail knew my feelings and covered for me – she just said, “oh Joan probably got things mixed up.” But when I heard about it – I yelled at Joan. She sat at my kitchen table, 34 years old, and whined, “I don’t know if I’m doing anything wrong if nobody tells me.” What??? A 34 year old woman needs to be told how to behave? Not to betray things told to her in confidence?
Joan says somewhere in her book, and on her website, and other places on the internet, that the siblings that found her hold some sort of responsibility to her and her state of being after the honeymoon stage of our reunion with her. (my words, not necessarily hers, but the thought is the same). Excuse me. In 1988, she was 33 years old. She should have learned how to behave by then. She should have learned not to lie. She should have learned not to steal. She was raised by two competent people, she went to Catholic grammer school, Catholic high school, Catholic college. In 1988 she had two children of her own that SHE had the responsiblity to teach how to behave, yet she’s asking ME to teach these things to HER??? What the hell does she want from me?
So this message is now directed at Joan: I DON’T GIVE A DAMN THAT YOU ARE AN ANGRY ADOPTEE! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! ALL I EVER DID WAS ACCEPT AND LOVE YOU! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?
TAKE YOUR ANGRY ADOPTEE BULLSHIT AND SHOVE IT WHERE THE SUN DON’T SHINE BECAUSE I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IT!!!!!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE ANGRY ADOPTEE? WELL SUFFER THE WRATH OF THOSE WHO THE ANGRY ADOPTEE HAS WRONGFULLY HURT IN HER LASHING OUT!
Joan, you don’t get to write a book that sullies MY reputation! Your book is “your point of view?” BULLSHIT! You wrote intentionally to HURT me. You know damn well that I was NOT arrested and placed on probation. THAT is called slander and libel – because you set out to intentionally damage my reputation. Just look at your history towards me – in 1993 how you filed the false police reports, tried to get me fired in 1994, called child abuse on yourself to implicate me, in 1995 tried to break me and John up and trashed me to his mother, and stalked and harassed me, invaded my privacy by writing letters to the mayor and others, in 1999, you falsely tell me that John got the next door neighbor pregnant. And we are supposed to believe that you did NOT write that shit book to hurt me and it was only “your point of view?”
Yeah, we know, it is your point of view – YOUR point of view is that I, your sister, who never did a damn thing to you but love you, is trash, and should be punished in your book.
SUFFER MY WRATH, JOAN – – SUFFER!
Never fear, I won’t lie – I don’t HAVE to – because the TRUTH about Joan is damning! And she brought it all on herself.
UPDATE, August 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m (Gert) updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…
Gert McQueen answers the secret is out – more evidence of misdeeds and lies by Joan Wheeler May 19, 2011Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
Tags: abuse, adoption, being downright nasty, blaming people for your own mess, bullying, cowardice, dishonesty, Disrespect, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, false accusations, harassment of an adoptee's birth family, Lies, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, stealing from your own family, theft, whining
by Gert McQueen
There are many essays or blog posts that I have written that have not been seen yet on this blog. Seeing that we are discussing and showing our EVIDENCE I feel it is time for the following to be posted. It is part of a larger essays where I discuss many pieces of evidence about Joan’s lying. And we do have the physical documents to go with it. Here we go:
BUT FIRST…UPDATE, August 2016,
as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…
keep this all in mind as you READ this EVIDENCE, then ask your self…is Joan really to be believed?
The next pieces of evidence are in connection to the article The secret is out that Joan wrote in 1990 published in England and the aftermath from it. This article caused great concern because in the article Joan uses her sisters’ real names, interestingly enough not mine. In any event, the publication of that article is what caused certain letters to be written, alerting those agencies, listed in the article, that privacy was not afforded to the persons mentioned in the article. These letters were not ‘harassments’ but legitimate letters of concern for the breach of privacy the author committed. It is only Joan who turns these letters into gross obscene letters in her fabrication of telling of them.
As I have stated in previous posts, I did not write any letters to Joan and it is a falsehood for Joan to write in her book on pg 308 ‘…my sisters wrote harassing letters in the months after our family reunion of 92’. Which sisters? She does not say, so how can anyone be sure whom Joan is referring to?
(Ruths’ note: as usual, Joan lumps all three of her sisters as one entity. Only thing is, we didn’t write harassing letters to her, either individually or collectively.)
On pg 310 she writes ‘…the 40 page letter that my sisters put together…’ and ‘…my sisters included copies of long handwritten letters they wrote to the nine major adoption…’ Wrong! Joan does not name the sisters because there were no sisters, in the plural. Ruth and I never wrote to those nine major adoption agencies listed in the article. Kathy wrote legitimate letters of concern for the breach of privacy; all else is pure nonsense and fabrication by Joan. Furthermore, Kathy wrote an seven-page letter, not 40 pages; Joan loves hyperbole! (see graphics #4a-4g below).
Hyperbole…exaggeration: deliberate and obvious exaggeration used for effect.
Again, we shall revisit this issue, when I return to the book, after I complete this presentation of the evidence of Joan’s own behavior of fabrication, telling lies, doing harassments, and other deeds that are not in her book. For now it is sufficient to state that we three sisters, who are refuting the lies of Joan, possess proof that she is a liar and user of hyperbole solely for the effect of putting us sisters in bad light.
As part of the fallout from the breach of privacy and Joan’s consistent disregard for returning Kathy’s personal property to her, Kathy in England , demanded her property returned to her. There were negotiations; monies sent by Kathy to Joan, for shipping, back and forth letters, but all of Kathy’s efforts were stalled by Joan because Joan had excuse after excuse for not sending them.
Evidence here: In two letters that Joan wrote to Kathy (ca.1992) we learn from Joan, in one, ‘…yes I did receive the money order…put it in a special account for when I have time to pack everything for you…can’t do it right now…don’t have a car…can’t do anything right now…Colby lost his job…trying to cope with unemployment…I am working two part-time jobs…pay is low…with this new upset…going and finding your scrapbooks will just have to wait…. the records are safe…I’ll let you know when I can get the stuff together…before Christmas…’ and in another ‘…have been sad that our relationship ended abruptly and that I have caused you pain…felt the need to reach out to you…need to apologize for overstepping my bounds in your life…I respect your right to privacy and am sorry for my past behaviors…I ask forgiveness…and hope that we can be friends again…since I’m rather busy now, I will try to pack up your things sometime before Christmas…working two part-time jobs and will be going back to college in the fall…’ (see graphics 1 and 2 below).
So we see from Joan’s own words; that she did receive money to send Kathy’s things back to her, that she put the money in a special account, for when she has time, but she can’t do it now, no car, husband lost a job, coping with unemployment, working two jobs, pay is low, new upset, getting your stuff will just have to wait, let you know when I can get the stuff to you later but sad that our relationship ended abruptly and I caused you pain, need to reach out to you, to apologize, respect your right to privacy, sorry for past behaviors, ask forgiveness, can be friends, but I’m rather busy now, will try to pack your stuff before Christmas, working two jobs and going back to college in the fall.
Would you, reader, buy that brunch of boloney? She was given the money to ship the items but found excuses for not doing so and yet she has the money and time to go back to college! How nice! Priorities!
Neither did Kathy, buy it that is, and when Kathy puts the pressure on to get her property back, Joan enlists the ‘big guy’; Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, the very same that wrote the forward of this book of lies and fabrications! It ought to be noted that the last time the good Dr. saw a ‘draft’ of the book was in 2006, three years before publication! Joan has done extensive rewrites since he saw it. I wonder if Dr Hoksbergen would approve of the published work? Perhaps I shall write him! I’ll think about that!
In the meanwhile, I’ll just inform folks with, yes that’s right, evidence here, just what Dr Hoksbergen said to my sister Kathy on Joan’s behalf. (see graphic #3 below). It ought to be remembered that Joan is a very good con artist. Joan can play the part of the misused, misunderstood adoptee, that the birth family seems to go out of their way to make life miserable for her. This letter by Dr Hoksbergen was written to Kathy in April 1993.
In part he says: ‘…you will be amazed that you suddenly get a letter from a complete stranger…(goes into his educational and professional backgrounds)…connected with the phenomenon of adoption …conference in 1987 I met your sister Joan Wheeler…tried to help her with some of her questions and problems…I very well know the complexity of her life situation and emotional stress this often gives to her…sometimes we have to give adoptees some more time and understanding then we do in other occasions…conference in April I had a long discussion with Joan about many important family related questions. It has become clear to me that she is very sad about the problems she seems to have with you. It is a pity that rather uncomplicated questions of yours, has given deep going emotional stress to at least Joan and as far as I understand also to you. Let me be more clear: you have asked her to send back your goods…last year Joan had a lot of material problems…not having a car, losing her jobs etc…Joan does not have the money…(goes into detail about weight and costs)…it is an idea to ask Joan what precisely you definitely want to have back as soon as possible…the rest could be taken back slowly, when you visit your friends and relations in the USA…to my opinion problems like these should not divide people…related…who might need each other…when people live far away from each other…things easily might become complicated…I would ask you to forgive Joan what you think she did wrongly…I’m sure that her intensions are good…but she has problems to carry out the things you asked her…I know she would love it so much to have a good friendship with you…she has tried to see you in Liverpool…but she does not have the money for it…it is a useful idea if you write me back about your suggestions…if you prefer this in stead of writing directly to Joan…I know that she very much want to solve the problems you have with each other…’
Okay! Here’s what I see in this communication; first and foremost intimidation by a professional with the use of a condescending tone to a woman who has already paid to have her personal property return and is being denied justice. Secondly, what I see is, the continuation of the mixture of intimidation as well as a good dose of browbeating, which btw is somewhat common with the professional attitudes of doctors.
‘phenomenon of adoption’ …since when is adoption a phenomenon?
‘complexity of her life situation and emotional stress’ …do only adoptee have complexity and emotional stress, is this some kind of new ‘condition’ that the rest of the population doesn’t have?
‘give adoptees some more time and understanding then we do in other occasions’ …again, what makes the adoptee some kind of special needs person? Does this mean they are in the same category as the physically and mentally ‘challenged’ individuals are in (for those that are not PCs they are commonly called retarded)?
‘she is very sad about the problems she seems to have with you’ …oh so Joan needs a professional to communicate that sentiment?
‘it is a pity’ …no shit!
‘Let me be more clear’ …by all means, what he is saying is that Kathy and by extension the rest of the birth family ‘needs’ to understand the special conditions that the adoptee has and we must alter our views.
(Ruth’s note: the birth family is not considered to be human, with our own human needs, desires, etc. ONLY the adoptee matters. – BULLSHIT – I am just as IMPORTANT as the adoptee, they are NOT the center of the universe, just because in their view, they got shafted. LOTS of people the world over get shafted every day, adopted or not. Life sucks. DEAL WITH IT.)
‘Joan does not have the money’ … she was given the money, what happened to it and even if she wasn’t given the money why is it that she can’t give back someone else’s property?
(Ruth’s note: What happened to this money, that Joan says she put in a “special account?” I know what happened to it – the same thing that happened to MY money that Joan and I had in a joint checking account for the purpose of buying real estate in 1990 – Joan STOLE it – used if for HER living expenses).
‘had a lot of material problems’ …is Joan the only person in the world with problems, does not Kathy have anything in her life that should be considered here?
‘the rest could be taken back slowly, when you visit your friends and relations in the USA’ …an assumption that Kathy will be visiting the USA, was never in the negotiations to begin with, that’s a direct attempt at turning the whole thing back onto Kathy.
‘to my opinion’ …amazing that he didn’t send Kathy a bill for his opinion, what did it cost Joan for getting the doctor to write this letter?
(Ruth’s note: I wonder as well. All evidence points to Joan and the doctor being waaay beyond professional ties.)
‘‘ask you to forgive Joan what you think she did wrongly’ …excuse me! what right does this guy have to say such a thing?
‘that her intensions are good’ …intensions my ass, any intelligent person knows that following through is what matters!
‘to have a good friendship with you’ …that falls squarely onto Joan’s shoulders and no one else!
‘it is a useful idea if you write me back.’ …no thank you!
‘that she very much want to solve the problems you have with each other’ …we have heard that before!
So there you have it, the evidence of Joan Wheeler’s own behavior of fabrication, telling lies, doing harassments, and other deeds that are not in her book, Forbidden Family.
Ruth’s additional note – examine carefully Dr. Hoksbergen letter to Kathy – Joan told him that it would cost about $500.00 to ship her belongings to her. Really? Kathy enlisted the help of our father to get her belongings back. My father never owned a car, never learned to drive. So what he did, was TAKE A TAXI-CAB to Joan’s house and get Kathy’s belongings and took them to his house, packed them up and shipped them over to Kathy in three different shipments. On July 7, 1993, the first shipment went out, costing my father $52.75. On August 7, 1993, the second shipment went out, costing $45.95. On November 23, 1993, the third and final shipment went out, costing $52.95. The total my father paid was $150.95 – far less than the $500.00 Joan led Dr. Hoskbergen to believe. And this bullshit happened only 3 years after Joan conned me out of several hundred dollars! Joan is a liar, a thief and a con-artist. She belongs in jail! The letters she wrote to Kathy in 1992 (graphics 1 and 2, are the same kind of nonsense she had feeding me in 19990 and 1991 about the money she stole from me. Apologies, crocodile tears, promises of repayment, excuse after excuse why she couldn’t pay me back, blah, blah, blah, until I finally had enough of her lies and bullshit and turned my back on her completely – I lost around $700.00 to her, and that doesn’t even cover the interest I was paying every month – yes, interest – it wasn’t even MY money Joan stole – it was money I borrowed from the bank – Joan put me into debt – I couldn’t afford to fix my car, I was forced to take a bus in the snow and cold, while Joan drove a car, which she fixed with MY (borrowed) money! As I noted above – this money was in a joint checking account to buy real estate – Joan stole it for her own day-to-day living expenses. After I washed my hands of her in 1991, she went to find another mark – she tried to play Kathy for a fool – she got 50 bucks out of Kathy. Now you know why her birth sisters turned their backs on her. Joan also did NOT return all of Kathy’s belongings: missing are valuable Beatles collectibles: Beatles bubble gum sets, copies of The Beatles Fan Club magazine, a signed sketch by original Beatle member Stuart Sutcliffe. By not returning these items (and others) – Joan is guilty of THEFT. Joan has been asked for years to return these items, I personally saw them in the attic of her house on Swinburne St. in the late 1980’s, so she cannot LIE and say she doesn’t have them.
See the graphics 5a and 5b, below – my father’s receipts! Proof positive that Joan is a liar and a con-artist and LIED to her palsie-walsie, Dr. Rene Hoksbergen. And Dr. Hoksbergen, was so stupid as to be conned by Joan, stuck his nose into our family business, and got a complaint made to his employer, Utrecht University about his unprofessionalism. He apparently didn’t learn his leasson, because in 2006, he was conned by Joan again into writing a forward to her lying book. Unless he wasn’t really conned after all – won’t be the first time a man was drawn into a woman’s web. Just look what Arnold Schwarzenegger did! The bigger they are – the harder they fall. Arnold just fell. Joan just fell. Who’s next? I sent Dr. Hoksbergen a private message via facebook for his explanation and a public apology for his contribution to this lying piece of trash book. He hasn’t responded yet. If he doesn’t, I’ll know my assessment of him is correct.