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Never Trust Anyone Who Always Blames Everyone Else for Everything Wrong in Their Life (like Joan Wheeler does) September 11, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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don't trust blamers

right – if you listen to Joan Wheeler carefully – you will notice that everything bad in her life is because of what OTHER people have done. NOTHING in her life is because of a choice that she herself has made. And if you listen very closely – you will notice that anything bad in her life has been caused by me. I get fucking blamed for everything – even when I’m sleeping and not even thinking of her. – Correction – everything bad in her life happened because she was adopted – after her adoption, everything bad in her life is because of Ruth. Ruth did this, Ruth did that. Then she’ll blame her other birth sisters. I could be under anesthetics, having surgery done, but she’ll still say that at that moment in time – I did something to her.

observation – gosh – it had been almost two years since Joan called my job – for the umpteenth time – to get me fired. She’s slacking! – I wonder what she’ll do when I retire – she’ll have no plaything – her life will be soooo bereft without her 20 year habit of calling my job with false accusations.

UPDATE, APRIL 2016, as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version. In this ‘version’ called ‘duped by adoption’ she has increased her exploitation by including PICTURES and REAL NAMES and much more personal information violating again the families. Joan has no decency NOR shame. There is NOTHING in this book for adoption reform. She is totally against adoption and her two families. To learn more see…



UPDATE JULY 2017; I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor


this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

Also see this Facebook page


In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum


Joan Mary Wheeler forum 


review of first book and 4 comments






No, Joan Wheeler, you can’t have anything in life that you want. You can’t have my life. May 16, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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 no you can't

I disagree – there are things in life you can NOT have. A dead parent brought back. A reversal of one’s adoption. Someone’s else’s property. Someone else’s life.

For example, my adopted out sister Joan Wheeler, despite being 58 years old, is STILL not accepting that after her mother died, she was given up for adoption and her birth sisters were not. She still can’t accept that five years after being reunited with her, we laid down boundaries, which she disrespected. She lied to us, stole goods and money from us, manipulated us, caused many problems. After she was told to leave us, she refused – and has been at us ever since – much harassments, telling lies about us in a book, in person, and on the internet. Calling my job with false accusations, trying to get me fired, (Nov. 2012) and bragging about it on the internet (Jan. 3013).

Joan refuses to fix her life, because she is a loser. Instead, she wants my life. She has in the past tried to destroy my life, my marriage, my career. WHY? Because she’s a bitch.


You also can’t change the fact that I hate you – and no, it isn’t because Mom died – I HATE YOU BECAUSE OF THE SHIT HARASSMENTS YOU HAVE DONE TO ME. Just because another namby-pamby judge pooh-poohed your STALKING me by calling my job trying to get me fired a year and a half ago, doesn’t erase the fact that that is what you did – WHY? Why do you so want me to get fired? You tried in the past to get me fired. WHY? Because you are jealous of me – I was not adopted and you were. Well too fucking bad sweetheart. That’s just too damn fucking bad. Go fuck off. 



Joan Wheeler and her buddy Dana lament over their miserable lives April 24, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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Interesting conversation on facebook this week – Joan and her buddy Dana –

Dana says she’s fat and therefore not a human being. Then she says she not self-sustainable. Joan chimes in that she also is not self-sustainable, then mouths nonsense about a woman she knew that had a happy marriage, two kids with one on the way and was heavy and happy.

I can’t put my finger on it, but the whole conversation seems -I don’t know, a self-defeatist attitude shoved on facebook so all can see what losers they think of themselves.

Dana says she’s fat, therefore she’s not a human being. Both her and Joan are not self-sustaining. They both seem to recognize that that is a problem. But neither one talks about solutions. Dana seems to be lamenting that she’s fat and broke. Joan offers no solutions to her buddy and laments that she too is broke. Then talks about another woman who is heavy and happy.

Misery loves company so they say. And this conversation bears that out. If I hadn’t seen this on the internet, I probably would had overheard this taking place in a bar – two down and out women, blubbering on about their “problems” and getting drunk. And neither one coming up with a solution or even bolstering each other’s self-esteem.


I don’t know anything about Dana’s personal life, but I know some of Joan’s – and she’s a frequent patron at bars. Well, that’s the lifestyle she chose. And if that’s the choices in life she makes, that’s up to her. And if she’s suffering – that’s her choice as well. – There is nothing in her life that is a result of ANYthing that I, or her other birth sisters “did” to her.

Joan loves to blame her miserable life on her birth sisters. And in particular, me. It’s always “Ruth did this and Ruth did that.”

Well, besides saying that Ruth did NOT do anything that Joan likes to accuse her of – what of it? Joan falsely accuses Ruth of driving past her house. – Let’s say I did drive past her house – how is that contributing to Joan’s lousy life?

Joan falsely accused Ruth of using her employer’s computers to go on the internet and visit Joan’s website – an accusation that was proven false – because my employer can trace every keystroke I do. So even I did use a hospital computer and visit Joan’s website – how would that contribute to Joan’s lousy life? – oh come on Joan – knock your shit off. I know for a fact that you read my blog – I still have my job, my house, my husband. I still got bills to pay, repairs to do in my house, etc. etc. etc. – In other words: I HAVE A LIFE AND I LIVE IT. I may bitch about Joan here on this blog, but I still live my life.

Joan has no life – her life consists of bitching and moaning about her lot in life – that she was adopted, that nobody understands her, her birth sisters don’t like her, her adopted parents lied to her and blah blah blah.

Gods, Joan, stuff it.

. gertmcqueen – April 24, 2014

Gert here…
leaving the weight issue out of it…

it appears to me that they NEED a man and a relationship to be fulfilled,

I have picked up over time that many of those angry adoptees have major medical issues, because they are angry all the time.

It is interesting that Joan says NOTHING about the new relationship, that’s a secret, maybe there ISN’T one. If Joan isn’t self sustainable, how does she’s think she’ll keep a man? She has been UN-successful as of yet!

2. RuthApril 25, 2014

Joan may not be saying anything about a relationship because she wants to keep her birth sisters from knowing anything about her life and commenting on it. But it’s okay for Joan to comment about OUR lives to strangers – it’s okay for JOAN to get in cohoots with puppets, tell them 30 year old gossip about me having a fight with someone way back in 1979.
Joan has NO relationship with a new man, and just threw that out to see our reaction.
Personally I don’t give a shit if she has a new man or not. I just want Joan to simply shut her mouth about me and stop telling lies about me to everyone she meets – in person or on the internet.

PS – thank you Gert for correcting my spelling mistake in the title of this post – I mixed up “their” and “there” – you know, I can’t be perfect all the time.

A letter I wrote to Joan Wheeler, 10 years before her book came out- warning her not use my name or picture – and the bitch did it anyway. March 26, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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I just found a gem of a letter that I wrote to Joan in April 1999 – to answer the bitch’s letter to me in February 1999 that my then fiancé (now husband) John got the next door neighbor pregnant. Pay close attention to the paragraph that I highlighted in bold – I told her back in 1999 that she did not have permission to use my name or likeness in her book – 10 years later, in 2009, she may have changed my name, but she left plenty of clues as to my name AND USED MY PICTURE ON THE BACK OF HER BOOK – and that is why her book got pulled from publication.

Ms. Joan Wheeler

1 C Drive,

Kenmore, New York 14223

April 20, 1999,

My Dear Joni,

  I think that there a couple of things that need to be clarified. First, the notion that you have that I am wallowing in bitterness and negativity regarding the death of my mother and your existence.

  I do not nor have I ever blamed you for Mom’s death. When we found you I was truly happy. And to this day there are times I truly miss you. I miss the good times we had going to the beach, and two or three years ago, when Channel 17 showed a Moody Blues concert I thought that it would have been great watching it with you. I cried because I couldn’t.

  I don’t know why you tend to get things mixed up. The first time I called you (the famous “bowling” call), it was at 2 P.M. from a dental office in the Brisbane Building that Gert worked at. It was a Tuesday. The dentist Gert worked for always took Tuesday afternoons off, but Gert had clerical work to do. I was neither drunk, nor panicky when I called you, and I did not end the call with a bunch of giggles. I remember practically every word I said to you as if I had just placed the call five minutes ago.

  And yes, I did not take very good care of Mom’s wedding dress in the beginning. But you did not return it by throwing it at my feet and yelling at me. And the year you returned it was 1983, not 1978. And I never got the beads back. So if I originally did not take good care of the dress, you also had a hand in “disrespecting” it.

  Where did you get the idea that my grandfather molested and murdered his first born son Richard? Who told you that? If anyone did, they are lying. Richard died of diptheria.

  And the idea that my father molested us? Where does this stuff come from? Let me set you straight right here and now, MY FATHER DID NOT MOLEST ME OR MY SISTERS. Kathy kicked him in the balls because that is the most effective place to kick a guy. And that was because Dad stormed into our bedroom with his “Big Daddy” routine. Kathy was getting dressed. She had on slacks and was starting to put on her blouse and yelled at Dad because he saw her in her bra. He yelled back at her “I made you, I can look at you. Now get downstairs and clean up that mess.” Dad was too mad to be thinking about her boobs!

  The evening before, our brother Butch was on the phone with his friend George. Kathy came in and wanted to use the phone. Butch said no, cause the last time she said it was important, she ended up calling her girlfriend Pat and told her some new gossip about the Beatles. This time, Butch refused to give up the phone. Kathy reached over and tried to hang up the hook on the wall phone. Butch got up and the next thing you know, the two of them were going at it. John and I were watching from the dining room, George heard it over the phone. Dishes were broken, food ended up on the floor. Then Kathy stormed out of the house. Shortly afterwards, Butch left too, leaving me and John with the mess. Which of course, we did not touch. When Dad came home, we told him what happened and when the guilty parties came home, they were told that they were going to get up the next morning at 6:00 and clean it up. And sure enough, 6:00 the next morning (a Saturday), Dad came upstairs and woke Kathy up. She got up, went to the bathroom and came back upstairs. She was taking her time getting dressed, I could hear Dad downstairs yelling at her to get down there and clean the mess up. I didn’t see him, but Butch tells me that at this point, he was already in the kitchen cleaning. Kathy kept dawdling, Dad was getting madder and madder and that’s when he came up to our room.

  Since you were raised as an only child, the above scenario would seem alien to you. But it happens all the time when you get brothers and sisters together. Real life ain’t like The Brady Bunch. I remember our cousins Gail and Norman going at it too! And since I spent so much time there, I was involved in a few brawls with them. One time Aunt Catherine broke in the bathroom door after Gail locked herself in to avoid a thrashing.

    It is my understanding that you plan to use my true name and photograph in your book. Well, I am hereby serving you notice that if you do, and you keep that reference of me being drunk when I called, you will be served with a lawsuit for invading my privacy and portraying me as a drunk. You do not nor have ever had my permission to use my name or like ness. And you had better not even of publishing that garbage about my grandfather and father. I don’t like it one bit when I find that strangers are reading that my grand father is a murderer and my father is a molestor. There is no truth to these “speculations” of yours and that is just what they are-speculations of your warped mind.

  You were hopping mad when two doctors wrote an article about your daughter’s medical condition in a medical journal, claiming that your privacy was invaded. You want YOUR privacy protected, but what about Gert and Kathy’s privacy? It is up to THEM to tell anyone about their childhood NOT YOU! And what about MY privacy? Who gave you the right to send a “detailed family history” (your version of it) to Commissioner Deborah Merrifield of Social Services? Where was MY privacy when you wrote to the Director of Patient Accounts of Buffalo General Hospital and told him MY personal medical history and MY marital status? What do those two things have to do with YOUR erroneous hospital bill? And where do you get off repeatedly calling my place of employment trying to get me fired? Your phone calls were described to me as “bizarre.” I told everyone, “Of course they’re bizarre, they’re coming from a bizarre person.”

  And of course your scheme to break me and John up certainly didn’t work. What did you think to accomplish when you dragged his mother in it? My future mother-in-law sees you for what you are-a trouble-making idiot.

  I must hand it to you though, you gave it a good try by calling child abuse on yourself and naming my fiance as the perpetrator, hoping that I would get blamed for the call. Your mistake was that you went overboard by writing letters to the mayor of Buffalo, and other elected officials. I simply sat back and watched you hang yourself. I don’t need to do anything to you, you seem quite capable of digging your own grave.

  A relationship of any kind is two-way, not one-way, and that way being YOUR way whether we like it or not. Your attitude has always been, “This is how it will be. Take it or leave it.” And that is exactly what I and so many others have done. We chose not to take it, and left. How many friendships have you destroyed throughout the years? Well, you can add two more to the ever growing list of people who cared about you, had enough of your bullshit and lies, and have broken off their friendship to you. Those being my fiance John and your friend on Balzac Court. No, I did not “badmouth” you, nor did I tell you to put her address on a bullshit letter you sent to my house. You destroyed that friendship all by yourself. Again, you are own worst enemy. And that is the real reason our reunion went sour, not because of some complex psychological feelings of guilt and shame from our dysfunctional childhood, nor feelings of jealousy that you had a secure home growing up while we did not. We simply grew tired of putting up with your rotten behavior. Your behavior is unacceptable and can not and will not be tolerated. Your behavior has cost you the very thing you wanted-your birth family. And don’t try to get yourself off the hook by saying that it wasn’t you who initiated the search, but that it was Gert and me who brought you something you did not want. You had already made the conscious decision when you turned 18, to search for your birth family. You wanted us just as much as we wanted you. It truly is a shame that our lost sister, despite growing up in a stable home environment did not learn the moral values that we did. I am not saying that I’m Miss Goody Two-Shoes. I’ve done a lot of stuff in my life, but nothing compared to your evil plotting, lies, and thefts. I’d bet Shadya is happy that she had to contend with me and Fran and not you. Anything that we did to Shadya pales in comparison to what you have done. We never once called her job and tried to get her fired, or frame her so that she would get arrested or hauled into court on some bullshit “harassment” charges. And we never made off with 900 bucks of hers!

  I especially love the time when after I told you in December 1990 that I wanted nothing more to do with you, you had the nerve to call and leave a message on my answering machine saying that money shouldn’t come between sisters. YOU who had only worked a few temporary jobs, and those not very hard ones either are going to lecture ME about MY hard-earned money! I bust my ass at my job. Many times I have to drag myself home on the bus with my feet and back killing me. I have pulled my back out 4 times and in June of 1997, I was out on disability because I was assaulted (kicked in the neck) by a confused patient. And the money you STOLE was not even my money. I had borrowed that money from the credit card, and had to work my ass off to pay it back, going with out a car, because YOU helped yourself to the money to fix YOUR car. When my car broke, I did not have the money to fix it, all my paychecks went to pay back the bank for the borrowed $900.00 you stole. And when dear old Uncle John got laid off, and we did not have the money to pay our electric bill, they shut our electricity off. I called you to beg you for some money-THE MONEY YOU STOLE FROM ME-and you kept hanging up on me, then LIED and said that I hung up on you!

 Then used that lie to press bullshit harassment charges on me. This is how you treat your sister that you “love” and your “dear” friend and “uncle” John to your children, a “member of your family.” Remember, HIS electricity was turned off too, and the years we went without a car and could not buy another because I was paying off a debt that I shouldn’t have had to, I was out in the cold waiting for buses too. But you don’t care about that do you? You only care about JONI’S discomfort and JONI’S happiness and to hell with everyone else!

  And then you start the bullshit again last month by lovingly informing me that my fiance got my next door neighbor pregnant and they had a baby girl in June 1994. Well, the only two newborns from that house in the past ten years were BOYS. The first, D.J.,born in 1992, looks exactly like his Dad, Danny. The second, Jesse, was born in 1995. I was working the night he was born, and I held him at 5:00 in the morning, just hours after his birth. Charlene and I were oohing and aahing over his little pee-pee. I guarantee, Jesse was a BOY not a girl. Did you really think that John would remain your friend after you told such a lie about him? Open mouth and insert foot, Joni.

  I was recently informed that some time ago, you tried to engage a “hitman” to kill me. What a sweet loving sister you are! This is how you show that you love me? In the letters you sent me in the beginning of March you say that you love me, yet you threaten my life? Could this possibly be the reason why I don’t like you? Go ahead, whine some more that me and my sisters don’t like you. To quote you from your letter dated March 1999, “For some reason you don’t like me.” Yeah, I really like people who threaten my life. I’m such a masochist, what can I say? I like people who steal close to $900.00 from me and tell lies about me. NOT!

  I have already informed the District Attorney about the threat you made against my life. They can’t do anything at the present time, because it is only hearsay. But they are well aware of your threat, your harassing letters to me and other people, your attitude to various police agencies, and your false claims of having an arrest warrant for our cousin, (????), lies about me being convicted of harassment, of me being placed on probation, and you having an Order of Protection against me. I was NOT convicted or placed on probation. If you’re so smart, provide me with the name of my “probation officer.” You can’t come up with a name because I was never placed on probation. The judge merely told me to leave you alone for six months as a condition of dismissal. I left you alone, and the case against me was summarily dis- missed. The judge did give you an Order of Protection and the district attorney’s office did not like it one bit that YOU called MY house, two months after the judge told me to leave you alone. As usual, Joan does what SHE wants to do. You get the judge to tell me to leave YOU alone, but then you think that you can turn around and call and bother ME.

  And since you don’t have an Order of Protection against me, I can drive down any street I want. Who died and left you boss, telling me I can’t drive on certain streets. I don’t know how you or your son “saw” me driving past your house since I did not have a car. I do now, and I’ll drive where I damn well please. Unless you bought the car or pay for the insurance and maintainence, you have no say on where I drive my car.

  Oh, by the way, I was investigated by the district attorneys last month in conjunction to my complaint against you. I found out about it from someone I’m close to. I wel- come investigations, because I don’t break the law or make an idiot of myself like you do. I have nothing to hide. If I were you, I’d pray that nothing suspicious ever happens to me or John, because you will be the first person the district attorney will question. In closing let me thank you for providing me with an ad- dress last month that proved very rewarding to me. The gods above are indeed looking out for me. A couple of years after you and Colby made off with the $900, I was still fussing. John’s cousin Chuckie told me “Let it go. You’ll get the money back another way.” And I did. I hit the lottery twice, once with the three digit, and once with the four digit daily numbers for a total of $900.00. I also got a couple of hun- dred dollars from the scratch-off tickets. (I still have the payout receipts). And now, nine years later, I have been rewarded again with two things that I have been wanting a long time. My thanks to you because without the letters you sent me in March, they would not have come to be. YOU pro-vided the means by which I profited.

  Goodbye, from your sister who truly does love and miss you, but realizes that your moral values are so different from mine, that we can never have a relationship again. Ruth

ps. I have the guts to put my name on a letter that I write. If you don’t have the courage and honor to sign your name and stand by what you say, then don’t bother saying it. But then again, since it was all a bunch of lies, it’s no wonder you were ashamed to put your name to it. You have proven again and again that you are nothing but a thief and a liar. As to the old saying “How do you sleep at night?” Well, maybe all the “anxiety attacks” that cause you to wake up at night screaming is really your conscience bothering you. I, on theother hand sleep very soundly. And very soundly indeed.

pps. When a “woman professional” (since when, you don’t even have a job, let alone a profession), writes a letter of complaint to a another woman professional, she doesn’t call her a bitch and tell her that she (the recipient of the complaint) almost got slapped in the face. That simply is just not done. It is most unseemly. Oh, now I get your profession! Professional student and welfare slob. You’ve only been going to school for the last twenty years. Your other job must be professional troublemaker and liar.

  Now act like the spoiled little brat that you are and call up Daddy and whine: “Daaaddy, Ruth wrote me a leeetter, Daaaddy.” “I”m gonna tell Daddy on you Ruth, NYAH, NYAH” To quote you: “ACT YOUR AGE!”


Go ahead, whine some more at me “you don’t like me.”


NOTE from Gert…

see my post about letter exchange I had with Joan


When Godzilla gives you the facepalm – you KNOW you were stoopid. January 4, 2014

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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double fucking facepalm – after screaming CYBERBULLY! she accepts phone call from him and agrees to be palsy-walsy! STOOPID!

godzilla facepalm


Joan Wheeler goes from manic state to depressive state awful fast over her latest FAILED romance. December 31, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Joan Wheeler goes from manic state to depressive state awful fast over her latest FAILED romance. – all information and quotes are from what Joan Wheeler herself has put out on public internet for all to see. remember – if you don’t want people to read it – don’t put it on the internet.


In a mess that SHE herself created, Joan first rants and raves about a guy she met at a bar back in June 2013. Within two weeks, marriage plans are made. What stupid idiot meets a guy and within two weeks makes plans to marry this total stranger? Joan Wheeler, that’s who. So she goes to New Mexico with the guy in August and the truth comes out. He’s an alcoholic (so is Joan, but she won’t say so in conjuction with this stuff – but did admit to it in her book), he got caught driving drunk and was thrown in jail for 30 days, (my, my, my), his family decided to do some background checking on Joan (wise move considering we’ve got two people who within 2 weeks of meeting want to get married – doesn’t matter if he’s 63 and she’s 57 – they are both thinking like 13 year olds), the family apparently googled her, came to this blog and saw the truth about her – then so did he. Apparently there were words between everybody, and Joan came home, and cried all through September.

Last week, her website got a hit from New Mexico. Never mind that there are tons of people living in New Mexico and any one of them could have gone to her website, and never mind that Gert has personal friends living in New Mexico and it could have been them – Joan sees the hit, ASS-umes that it’s the boyfriend and/or his family and goes off on a bitch fest – a real rockin’ psychopathic rant! Insults the guy – mocking him for his PTSD (and using the tired old stereotype of the crazy Vietnam Veteran – for shame, Joan) AND DRAGS ME AND GERT IN ON IT. (but she’s always bitching that we won’t stay out of her life – and when we are not – she drags us into it!). I say ASS-ume because when you assume something without real evidence, all you do is make an ASS out of yourself – which is what Joan does all the time. She sees or reads something, and right away ASS-umes things about people.

Here are blog posts that Gert and I did about this mess that Joan HERSELF created:

Another one bites the dust! Joan Wheeler, ‘fiancé’ break-up! Gosh, we told you it would happen! by gertmcqueen on December 27, 2013

Joan Wheeler drags me into her f’ed up love life – then bitches about me being in her life. uh, what? December 26, 2013

would somebody please lobotomize Joan Wheeler? December 27, 2013

 Joan Wheeler has the nerve to say she had done no harm. December 27, 2013

Joan Wheeler can now see 2400 miles and “know” what people are watching on their TVs. OMG! December 28, 2013

SOOOO after all that ranting and our blogging, Joan read Gert’s blog and sees Gert’s statement: “DOES Joan have any positive things going into her life? She never tells us anything that is positive in what she does. Nothing about good eating, sleeping, exercise, meditations, readings, etc…she boring! Once in a while is posts some feel good quote, but she doesn’t live it!”

And knowing that Gert takes Zumba classes (my, are we STALKING Gert now, Joan?) Joan all of a sudden says that she’s “getting healthy, being more positive, is thankful for her female friends and taking Zumba classes).

In the evening of December 30, 2013, she’s on the downside of manic depression – she’s on a downer, and lamenting the loss of her latest romance. I didn’t see the garbage until I woke up about 11:30am December 31, 2013. The time frame that Joan wrote her latest stuff – I was busy with my life – doing housework, then watching the special features on the DVD of John Carpenter’s The Fog. (btw, Joan put me down in her book because I collect movies. So? Who the hell is she to comment on how I spend my $$ or my life? She does so, because her life is so miserable, she looks at me and sees my full life, and she can’t have it, so must debase it).

And I can comment on Joan’s life and this mess because SHE DRAGGED ME INTO IT. SHE DELIBRATELY WROTE A TWEET ABOUT THIS FUCKED UP SITUATION THAT CONTAINED A REFERENCE TO HER BIRTH SISTERS (me and Gert). Therefore, we EARNED the right to write about it.

So I get up and meander over to twitter to see what’s up with a couple of tweets I had exchanged with Luke Evans (Bard the Bowman) – o gods! not only is Ruth collecting movies, she’s communicating with people who are acting in them! Quick now! Get the noose and string Ruth up!

So I see what Joan writes and I wanted to puke. I then go over to facebook and see that Gert also had seen it and this is what we say about the pukey shit:

facebook exchanges: from Gert to Ruth Herr Sippel Pace the idiot is crying in her beer…around midnight she says..

Deep pain in knowing it is over. My love. New Year will be better for us both.  I release you, my love. Good bye my Darling. May you find your true love. She lies within. I move on

after all that ranting and raving and saying she’s DONE and getting on with her life and he was a loser…this is so typical of Joan Wheeler!

from Gert Mcqueen so I added a comment on the blog post and incorporated Ruth’s comment and mine into the body of that post and retweeted it…I can’t believe it, YES I can cause this is HOW joan operates, she doesn’t get her way, she throws fits, gets kicked in the face, bitches and screams cause no one loves her, she rants and raves that they are bad and mean to her, then she gets sympathy from others and says oh I’m ok and then in the dark of the night she crys for what she lost asshole

from Ruth Herr Sippel Pace omy god I want to puke with the saccharine fakeness of it all.

and notice now how she’s going out of her way to list different world cultural dances that she’s learning in Zumba class. She’s reacing out to her birthsisters again, albeit in a round-about way. As you noted yesterday, how she’s obviously reading the blogs – after bitching and raving, her tweets turn 180 degrees on how she’s getting healthy and going to Zumba – a clear IMITATION of you. Now, the “world culture” dances – a clear imitation of ME. Because of my past experiences of being a Middle East (belly dancer). She never cared about dance before – only her Native American dances she did as a teenager and in early 20s. And don’t forget – she put me down in her book FOR being interested in the Arab culture. Now SHE is “embracing” other cultures. What a fucking hypocrite!

she goes from calling him a “stalking obsessed creep” to ” My love. New Year will be better for us both.  I release you, my love. Good bye my Darling. May you find your true love. She lies within. I move on” – she said she “moved on” the other day – if that was so – she shouldn’t be going back to write this stupid shit.

Gert Mcqueen yep…I WAS DOING zumba 3 years ago! I had to stop due to medicals reasons and turned to biking instead…but I NEVER mentioned that ONLY my yoga, bike, gym…which she NEVER picked up until just now BECAUSE I made a point of saying she’s boring, unhealthy and never speaks about what good in her life. And if she loved native dance WHY hasn’t she been doing it all along? If you love something, you DO IT. she only talked about it because of the SUGAR DADDY like I said, she was crying in her beer…that’s what she does…she can’t get her way, throws a fit, the other person tells her get lost, she gets insulted, finds things to bitch about and then says she’s done with them, and then when the night is dark and she’s alone she laments her LOSS that she created.

end of facebook exchange.

I am not only wanting to puke, but I see the hypocrisy of it all – having been dragged over the coals in her book for MY interest in other ethnic music and dance – to see this bitch now saying it’s the best thing in HER life! As I said above – she looks at her miserable life, finds it lacking, then looks at MY life, debases it – YET COPIES ME! And Gert!

Now I want to examine this statement made by Gert: “then she gets sympathy from others and says oh I’m ok and then in the dark of the night she crys for what she lost asshole” – when she was ranting and bitching about the boyfriend on Twitter, she made statements that she was “afraid of him.” “leave me alone.” called him a “stalking creep” “obsessive” – and a twitter friend of hers up in Toronto says, “been reading your feed, are you okay?” this lady sees what Joan writes and becomes genuinely concerned for Joan’s safety! And what does Joan say? “oh, I’m all right. He’s 2500 miles away.”

WHAT THE FUCK?  If she’s “all right” and he’s “2500 miles away” WHY IS SHE WRITING THAT SHE IS AFRAID OF HIM? This is what she does – she EXAGERATES things and puts her whiny little “woe is me, poor, poor pitiful me” routine and manipulates people into feeling sorry for her.  So LOOK at what she said about the guy – she’s afraid of him, he’s a stalking, obsessive, alcoholic drunk driver, and he’s coming to get her. – and chances are – he’s probably a sweet guy with a drinking problem. But according to Joan – he’s a monster. AND THIS IS WHY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT ME AND GERT ARE BITCHES – BECAUSE THEY READ JOAN’S SHIT AND BECAUSE SHE’S A MASTER MANIPULATER AND LIAR – AND SHE CAN TURN THE TEARS ON AND OFF – THEY CAN’T BELIEVE THAT HER CRYING IS ONLY AN ACT! – People – she’s a socio-path and knows how to turn the waterworks on. And before anybody recommends that she call the police – please – The Town of Tonawanda (where she lives) already are aware of her and her antics.

Before anybody condemns me for “putting down the mentally ill” and lectures me that I “should have compassion,” – been there, done that. Unless you have been the harassed victim of a mentally ill person – you will not understand. see the home page of this blog. and the page What is Demanded of Joan Wheeler.

Don’t judge me for my anger of Joan Wheeler – until you know all the facts and the hell she has put me through and is STILL doing it – by harassing me by calling my employer a year ago with false accusations designed to get me fired – and just the other day by daring to drag me into her fucked up love life.

And again, we see a mess that Joan herself created. Gert and I had nothing to do with this latest boyfriend, yet Joan drags us into it. So we gave it right back to her. We didn’t start it, but we damn sure finished it. We didn’t ask to be in it, but once we were in it – we went all out. And the mess is all on Joan – I don’t want to hear a word from her that we “interfered” with this shit – IT WAS JOAN HERSELF WHO BROUGHT US INTO IT!

1. gertmcqueen

Gert here…Perfect assessment of the conditions that Joan does to herself and everyone. There’s nothing more for me to say, but…this is the real Joan Wheeler and if you don’t believe us…get in a REAL PERSONAL relationship with her, NOT on the internet, BUT IN REAL TIME AND PLACE, interact with her in the FLESH and within 2 months you will KNOW.

UPDATE January 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version.



 end of update info


Joan Wheeler drags me into her f’ed up love life – then bitches about me being in her life. uh, what? December 26, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Uncategorized.
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oh brother – here we go again. Despite Joan Wheeler’s lamentations and bitching that we, her birth sisters “interfere” with her life, she keeps dragging us INTO her life.


In the wee hours of December 26, 2013, – 1:00am to be precise, Joan was on Twitter, going off on her ex-boyfriend. Apparently her website’s locale spotter showed a hit from New Mexico. Where the ex lives. So? It’s the public internet – Joan has a website for the purpose of people reading it. If the ex wants to read her website/blog – well, it’s a damn free country.

So Joan is accusing him of stalking her and she tweets that he should leave her alone, she’s now afraid of him, he is a bad person, she stuck by him when he was in jail, blah blah blah.

THEN she drags US into it. Take a look-see:

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily

And now, you’ll continue to obssess about me. I know you’re not on Twitter. But my stalking sisters are. They’ll make sure you can read this

EXCUSE ME! We don’t even know this guy. And look what she wrote: “I know you’re not on Twitter.” – so, we establish he’s not on Twitter. “But my stalking sisters are.” – yes we are. “They’ll make sure you can read this.” – HOW? she just said he’s NOT on twitter!

so I replied these to that particular tweet:

Ruth Pace ‏@ruthsippelpace

@forbiddenfamily uh – WE DON’T KNOW HIM OR HIS FAMILY – DON’T DRAG US INTO YOUR F’ED UP LOVE LIFE! leave US alone.

Ruth Pace ‏@ruthsippelpace 

@forbiddenfamily this tweet – dragging us into your silliness – proves YOU won’t leave US alone.

Ruth Pace ‏@ruthsippelpace

@forbiddenfamily  just how will I do that? when I don’t know him, + as you say, he’s not on the internet? why are you dragging me into this?

Ruth Pace @forbiddenfamily

we “MONITOR” you to catch you in stuff just like this: WE DON’T KNOW YOUR EX OR HIS FAMILY, LEAVE US OUT OF IT.

Then she tweets this:

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily 

Run scared. I know you will be. Because I Tweet about our breakup? Too bad. No one knows your name. No one. Don’t like being talked about?

and I reply:

Ruth Pace ‏@ruthsippelpace  

@forbiddenfamily that’s right – we don’t know him – now leave us OUT of your f’ed up love life! why are you pulling us into it?

By the way – she dragged HIM into MY life – in July, 2013, by dragging this guy to Family Court when I had her up on harassment charges- cos she contacted my job AGAIN with false accusations of computer fraud – trying to get me fired. WHY was he there? This was FAMILY COURT – he had no business, him being a stranger to me – to be where I was – taking care of a FAMILY matter.

So what is going on in this latest chapter of the soap opera, The Joni Show?

It appears a few months ago, she met this dude – and she was gushing all about him on twitter, that he’s half Mexican and half Native American, and because of her “knowledge” and “love” of Native Americans, she’s all starry-eyed.

She knows this guy FOR TWO WEEKS! And they’re making plans to get married! WTF! Where are their brains? So when my godmother dies, she drags this stranger to her funeral. I could only attend the wake, as I had to work the day of the funeral, but he attended both. WHY? He doesn’t know my godmother. Whatever.

At the wake, Joan tells one of my cousins that she is going to go New Mexico for a few weeks. And they have to decide where they will live once they get married.

Now, I laid eyes on this guy twice. Once in the waiting room at court, the second time at the wake. I never spoke to him, nor did I approach him. He seemed quiet, nice. Another cousin told me that he sat with Joan at the church at the funeral, and didn’t really say much.

Which belies this tweet about him:

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily  

I should have left that day you freaked out when my aunt died. You made it about your grief over Vietnam, over your Mom’s death in 2010…

He didn’t look like he was freaking out to me.

But dayam – that tweet is sure rotten! As are these:

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily  

I comforted you, you creep. I needed comfort, but you demanded I comfort you. I should have kicked you out then.

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily 

But my aunt died in early August. Instead of comforting me, you attacked me. Lunged at me with your PTSD and how deathy (sic) affects you.

WELL! We see what a great “social worker” she is!

Doesn’t she know as a “social worker” that people grieve differently than others? And where does she get off attacking a Vietnam Vet? Who has PTSD? As a “social worker” – that is a no-no! And to attack someone who is grieving their MOTHER???!!! She died in 2010? That’s only 3 years ago! My mother-in-law died 10 years ago, and my husband and I still get choked up about her. Where the hell does Joan get off AS A SOCIAL WORKER and AS A HUMAN BEING to belittle someone’s grief?

As the wife of a Vietnam Veteran, I went to our local Veteran’s Resource Center  in 1988 for counseling – to learn about PTSD that ALL Veterans may suffer from. I learned about the history of Vietnam, and the war. I learned about the aftermath of the war – both to the peoples of Vietnam AND our returning vets. I learned WHY my husband does certain things. And in doing so, we became strong together.

If Joan can’t handle being with a Vietnam Vet, fine, but don’t fucking attack him. Yes, many Vets, (of all wars) do suffer from PTSD and unfortunately do abuse alcohol and drugs (thank goddess my husband does not) – and that is a real concern. Joan reports on twitter that he was driving drunk and spent a month in jail. That would be a challenge to any relationship, and for speaking for myself, I would not be involved further with any man who does this (drives drunk and get thrown in jail). I am absolutely dead-set against drug and alcohol abuse.

But Joan is one to talk! She chronicles in her now-dead book that she herself was an abuser of drugs and alcohol and drove drunk. She showed up at my house once in 1991 at 5am drunk out of her mind!

So her little quickie romance is all busted up! She’s blaming his family for that. Apparently they went on the internet to check up on her. And I don’t blame them. They did what HE should have done. They were probably thinking “just who is the woman who knows our loved one for only a couple of weeks and thinks she ‘s gonna marry him? Is she the genu-wine article, or she just a gold-digger, looking for a sugar daddy to get her hooks into?”

Well, I say to them: “Good Job!”

So back to Twitter-dom: she also tweets this little gem:

Joan Wheeler ‏@forbiddenfamily 

I know what he’s still doing: checking the weather channel for weather in my city, thinking of where I am: the Y, music shows, plus ….

OH MY GOD! Joan – are you for real? Do you have the capability to see what channel is on this guy’s TV? To see the weather reports in Buffalo? and music? YOU FREAKING INSANE PARANOID IDIOT!

She also reports that she is now afraid of him. uh, duh – he’s 2500 miles away! But she told that lie on the stand in court about me in July 2013 – that she is “afraid” of me. WELL IDIOT! STOP DOING THINGS TO PISS ME OFF! — LIKE DRAGGING ME INTO YOUR FUCKED UP LOVE LIFE.

1. Ruth

by the way – as I understand the politically correct terminology – they are not “Indians” they are “Native Americans.” And they are not “Spanish” they are Mexicans. When she first tweeted about her new romance she called him Native American. Now she calls him Indian. Last week she was blaming the “Spanish” culture for her breakup. As I understand it, some like to be called Hispanic, or Latino. I think it depends on the region. I don’t know. That’s why I don’t call anybody anything unless I know what they like to be referred by. Most of the time, I just call them people, unless I’m talking specifically about the country they come from or if their ethnic background is an important issue with what I’m writing about. As we see, Joan is a bigot. She gushes that in her youth, she had a love for Native Americans. She points that out in her book. But she also pointed out in her book that my first husband was Arab, and goes out of her way to say that I “became fully immersed in the Arab culture.” – no, I did not. I embraced many Arab people as my friends. And what did that all have to do with HER adoption anyway – the purpose of her writing her stupid book in the first place. Who I claim as my friends, have nothing to do with her adoption.

2. gertmcqueen

Gert here… Joan says NO ONE FROM NEW MEXICO should be reading her web blog! What?? hey I KNOW people in New Mexico…been there, speak to them on phone, email. So it could be MY PEOPLE checking Joan stuff! Joan needs to stop browbeating everyone up who think about or does anything related to ADOPTION cause that is where her pains are coming from. She needs to accept that she’s adopted and let people alone. How many men does she have to go through before she learns that NO ONE wants to hear her bitching and screaming. If she still wants to live her life the way she does then she needs to learn that MEN (together or not) don’t want to listen to a bitch scream and rant. Every man I know that has seen or hear anything about Joan says that they would not put up with her for one minute…she’d be history! and the next book that Joan writes WILL have a chapter on this guy from New Mexico cause that what Joan does…she writes lies about every person that DOESN’T AGREE WITH HER. So if I was this guy from NM, I’d keep close tabs on what Joan puts in print or on the internet as she JUST DID on twitter…the guy may not have twitter but I bet he could find someone who does.


well said Gert – and if I were that guy – or his family – I would most certainly keep close tabs on what she writes about him and pull her into court for harassment, slander and libel.

UPDATE January 2016; as older posts are being seen I’m updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler says about me and family. After the first book was pulled from publication by the publisher, May 2011, she has ‘self-published’ another ‘revised’ version.





Oh NO! Gert and I are collecting movies on DVD! Quick now, throw us in jail, Joan Wheeler! November 6, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Oh NO! Gert and I are collecting movies on DVD! Quick now, throw us in jail, Joan Wheeler!

On page 302 of her filthy lying book, Joan Wheeler condemns me for “collecting movies.” She uses it in the context that because I didn’t have kids I was using my own money on other things. But she said it in a very rotten way. “It’s a good thing she didn’t have any children.”

Yes, at the time, I would go to the store and buy a pack of VCR tapes and tape movies off the TV. However, at that time, I had also acquired an adult dog- DOG, not cat, Joan. Her name was Brandy, three years old, a 65 pound Siberian Husky/Alaskan Malamute mix. We got her from some neighbor friends who were breaking up.

Despite my hobby of “collecting movies,” I spent over $100.00 on a dog house for my Brandy. I didn’t have a car at the time. I ordered it through the JC Penney catalog and had it delivered to my house – at extra cost for that delivery. It was so cute – a snap-together resin plastic dog house, terra cotta in color with a green roof – shaped like a log cabin with a slate roof.

Excuse me Joan – who the hell are YOU to make a comment on how I spend MY money? Money that I earn by busting my ass on something called A JOB! – Something YOU were too lazy to get. ALSO,  I showed that despite my hobby of collecting movies, I was a responsible dog parent in providing the best of care for her. I took better care of her than her previous owners, who fed her commercial food for pet rodents (hamster food) with kitchen grease poured on it. Within two months, Brandy’s coat thickened and shone right up. Other neighbors noticed it and complimented me. I also bought toys for her, she got the best medical care too when she needed it – she was up all the time on her shots.

O, but in September 1986 – Joan spent money on tickets to see The Monkees when they appeared in Buffalo. Never mind she had already seen them in July 1986. But she simply had to see them a second time. Then a week later, she’s on the phone with me, crying – her electricity was getting shut off. Now they don’t shut your electricity off unless you haven’t paid it for a few months. And here is Joan, with a one year old son at home, 8 months pregnant with her daughter – and instead of paying the electric bill to provide for her child(ren) she goes to a rock concert. AND HAS THE NERVE TO WRITE IN HER FILTHY BOOK THAT I WOULD NOT BE A GOOD PARENT BECAUSE I BOUGHT BLANK VCR TAPES??? TALK ABOUT A HYPOCRITICAL BITCH!

In 2001, when Peter Jackson’s film version of the first installment of The Lord of the Rings came out, I made the switch to DVDs. I picked up a good player and have been buying DVDs ever since. I have the complete TV series of Star Trek, (original), The Animated Series, and Enterprise. Missing only one of the movies, missing only one season of ST Voyager, and have two seasons of Deep Space Nine and three seasons of ST The Next Generation.

I also have the complete TV series of Superman, Remington Steele, The Flash, Alien Nation, Buck Rogers, Earth 2, and some of The West Wing, The Paper Chase, Hill Street Blues, Fame. And the first four seasons of Ghost Hunters. I also pre-ordered (and paid for) via one of the cast members – the last season of Ghost Hunters International, which will be autographed by a couple of the cast members.

I also have the mini series Roots, Roots 2, Brideshead Revisited, Shaka Zulu, Captains and the Kings, Cosmos, Centennial, Shogun, The First Churchills. And movies! – I have gotten lots of movies, and music DVDs. And even got a music DVD that I ordered thru and he autographed for me – from my long time crush Jon Anderson of Yes. And my husband John is building up his collection too!

Well, lately, since she is now retired, Gert has been collecting DVD movies. She always enjoyed watching Star Trek, but was busy with her kids to really sit down and watch it. She recently went out and got all three season of the original series and a set of all the Star Trek movies.

From yesterday (November 5, 2013) to this morning – we were having a conversation on facebook, concerning the new fan-made Star Trek series, “Star Trek Continues.” This most excellent series just wrapped up principal photography on their second episode. Their first episode “Pilgrim of Eternity” is available for viewing on youtube. It is very good. Gert was telling me that she wanted to get through the DVDs that she already bought before she got into this series.

My last comment in our conversation is here and sums up what I truly believe was (and is) Joan’s motive in constantly putting me down for MY own life and financial decisions – JEALOUSY, PURE JEALOUSY! She looks at me, even though I have my own day-to-day struggles, and sees that I have direction and meaning in my life. HER own life has no meaning or direction.

Here is my last comment to Gert on facebook:

“oh no! just thought of something! You and I are “collecting movies!” – Better hide that info from the Nameless One, lest she condemn us for it – as she condemned me for collecting movies (particularly horror) in her book. Seems to me she was letting her f’ing jealousy come out in that condemnation. SHE had no job (lazy ass), HER husband was not bringing in the $$$ like John was, John and I didn’t have kids to suck up all our $$$, so whatever John and I were using our own hard-earned $$$ was automatically condemned by her.”

1. gertmcqueen

yep Joan spend decades writing about what the birth sisters did or didn’t do…like she’s in our minds…I thought that Joan wrote/writes about HER ADOPTION so why is it that she KNOWS what is right/best/wrong with us or anyone else…Joan is just a little god looking for a following! Sorry I’m the star of MY MOVIE and no one gets to write lies about me and get away with it

 2. Ruth

oh absolutely Gert – that book has hardly ANY thing on her own life – but a lot of observations on OUR lives – particularly mine.

3. Ruth

Joan calls me Brenda in her book. Almost every other page is “BRENDA this, BRENDA that.” Was it a book for bitching about BRENDA (me) or a book about JOAN and her adoption.

4. Ruth

Oh – I just had a memory flash! Somewhere in her stupid book, and I don’t feel like looking for the exact page right now, Joan also condemned me for whining that I didn’t have my own computer with internet at home. NOPE, I never whined. I had told her in 2003/2004 that I did not have a computer at home and relied on public computers in libraries. I could not afford to buy a home computer because I was paying a mortgage. I was (and still am) a responsible property owner. The mortgage and taxes get paid first. Then the utilities, then the car note and car insurance and then credit card bills and other bills. Then come groceries, prescriptions, food and supplies for my cat, cleaning supplies and other household goods. After all of that – THEN I’ll pick up a DVD.

My mortgage was paid off in March 2006. In June 2006, I bought my first home computer, printer, and obtained internet service. John and I also got our first cell phones at that time. In 2009, our roof sprung a leak, and we needed a total tear-off and new roof. We financed a second mortgage to pay for the new roof. We also put on a new porch three years ago, we just replaced the storm windows in the front, and are doing interior work. In time, we will put on new siding.

My husband is retired now, but once a week, still goes into the Army/Navy Surplus Store to help out in the store, to keep active, and bring in a little extra cash. I still have my job, and we are both doing hands-on work on our house and property.

What anybody does with their own time, lives or money is nobody else’s damn business. For Joan to constantly be making comments on RUTH’S life, and RUTH’S possessions in her own book is a clear indication of what I said above – JOAN IS JEALOUS OF ME – pure and simple.

Another whine from an angry adoptee – why do they get booted off sites? September 1, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Lessons in Life.
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I saw an interesting post by an “angry adoptee” wherein she is bemoaning the fact that a lot of “angry adoptees” are booted off some sites that are geared towards “happy adoptees.”

Adopted in the UK

A Safe Place for Adoptees


While this person is entitled to her opinion, I left the following comment, which will probably not be posted.

perhaps the “angry adoptees” wouldn’t be booted off sites if they would stop calling people names, telling them they are “rainbow farters” and “Kool-Aid drinkers” telling people they are delusional (or worse) if they say they are happy in their adoption, etc. etc. etc.

As for the title of her post “A Safe Place for Adoptees” – there already is one – it’s a forum called Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change” where it is a free-for-all of bashing, name calling, hate language and calls for spam against pro-adoption websites, and desires for violence against public figures who are adoptive parents. One member at the AAAFC said this about actress Edie Falco: “someone should stuff a sock in her mouth, douse it with gasoline and set it on fire.”

Who the hell wants these types of people on their site? 7Rin would do well to write to angry adoptees to watch their mouths instead of whining about being booted off websites.

for more info see…

History of, and current attack sites, upon the birthsiblings, of Joan Wheeler UPDATED by on April 1, 2013

2. RuthSeptember 3, 2013

well 7Rin didn’t post my comment – but quoted me and twisted what I said. She said:

“1. It wasn’t a whine, it was a look at adoptee-related places that’re available, since the theme of #WASO32 was “safe places”.

2. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, every ‘fight’ has its extremists. I’m one of the adoptee ones. Deal with it. I do.”

my answer – it most certainly WAS a whine – and she put words in my mouth – I did not EVER say “bet you won’t post this?” Sorry 7Rin – you asked a question – “why are angry adoptees booted off some sites?” And I answered, giving my honest, politely worded opinion.

If you want to be an extremist – that’s ok. I have dealt with it. What YOU need to deal with – is the fact that rude angry adoptees WILL be booted off some sites – now deal with THAT honey – no need to question why – just deal with it.

3. RuthSeptember 3, 2013

mmm, think I’ll go back and make a screenshot of my comment – it’s still there in the queue – awaiting moderation – and it will show that what I wrote was polite, and NEVER did I challenge her with a snotty nyaah, nyahh – THAT childish behavior came from HER – not me.

Stick to the truth always – quote a person truthfully – don’t stick words in their mouths, because those false words can and will come back and bite you in the ass.

oh hell – why I am I threatening to do something? I don’t believe in empty threats – I simply DO. here is the screenshot that proves I didn’t engage in childish boorish behavior:

whining adoptee

and here is what she said that I said:


WHERE did I say ANY thing along the lines “bet you won’t post this?” – except on THIS blog – and it was a valid observation – because 7 has her mind made up that because I stood up to a bully, who just happened to be an angry adoptee, what I have to say is not valid. No whining here – just stating the facts – because one thing I noticed – if you disagree with an angry adoptee – then all the other angry adoptees come crawling out of the woodwork to insult and belittle you – because that’s what extremists do – it’s THEIR way and even when you talk nice to them – if you’re in disagreement with them – you are crap to them. And that’s why they get booted off websites.


reworking and reposting of a 2-part BOOK POST Chapter 15 of Joan Wheeler’s libelous book February 21, 2013

Posted by gertmcqueen in Uncategorized.
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these posts are on Gert’s blog…


Joan Wheeler says on Huffington Post that our complaints about her book was baseless. delusional liar that she is. January 17, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Black and White Evidence of Joan Wheeler's Lies: Letters, Court Documents, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Joan Wheeler said on Huffington Post to Gert that our complaints to Trafford Publications (who published her book Forbidden Family) that our complaints were baseless. I placed the following two comments there today – Thursday, January 17, 2012:

Part 1: Forbidden Family replied elsewhere regarding allegations to falsehoods in her book Forbidden Family: “Your complaints were baseless; POD publisher a scam.”

POD – Print on Demand – Trafford Publication was not a scam. They printed a manuscript that the author said was fully truthful. Their standard contract (available on their website) read that no slanderous, libelous statements would be made. No obscene language or obscenities would be in the manuscript. The author of Forbidden Family signed the contract. A complaint sent to Trafford was sent which included the pages where the author used hate speech against those living in trailer parks, those of the Polish heritage and the Catholic religion. The page numbers were given where obscene language was used. The page numbers where falsehoods about me, my character and the authors constant reporting that I have a criminal record was given to the publisher, along with court documents. Those court documents that proved that the order of protection from 1993 was for six months, not one year, as reported in the book, or that I was sentanced to probation. There were other items sent to the publisher as well.

Part 2: It was determined by the publisher that the author also violate copyright laws by pubishing MY childhood photo on the back of the book, a family portrait taken in 1955. The author was not born until 1956, is not in the photo, was not the photographer, did not get MY permission, nor the 4 other living persons in the photo, for their likeness to be used on a product intended for monetary gain for the author.

Our complaints were baseless over a libelous book? I think not. on my blog at wordpress, refuting a book of lies on a post today I posted actual court documents that prove the author committed libel. The book was pulled from publication because the author violated the legal contract that she signed. She should not now be whining about it and blaming other. The blame lies squarely on her. here are the court documents that prove that Joan Wheeler is a liar January 17, 2013 ruthsippelpace, wordpress


a quick facebook exchange (me and Gert) the evening of Jan. 15, 2012, regarding Joan’s whining on Huffington Post January 15, 2013

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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Gert Mcqueen

joan reads the blog and after this post was posted, she complainted and got my first two comments removed because I post the blog address. I had checked the guidelines and I read them to say that one could post an address and I have seen others…doesn’t matter, we blogged it all and people have been coming and reading and they do search terms etc

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace

right Gert – we’ve been “censored” before – that’s why we have the blogs – to tell our bare UNcensored truth and the facts AND actual documents that prove that we have told the truth and the FACTS of a situation. A court document that backs up what we say on our blog is a lot more credible than Joan’s “hearsay”

1. gertmcqueenJanuary 15, 2013

watch watch, yes I watch, you never know where I shall see…I remember all that you have done and I shall always find you…you who should be silent

Blood doesn’t always mean family – something Joan Wheeler needs to accept August 31, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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See end of post for update….So – answer me this: WHY after Gert and I went through all the trouble of searching for our adopted-out younger sister, go through a reunion with her, only to ask her to leave us alone just 6 years later?

Joan will tell you it’s because we tried to mold her into what we thought she would be, should be. There may be some truth in that – when we searched for our sister – that’s what we thought we’d be getting – our sister. We expected a person who some morals and values. What we got was a person who interfered with our lives, our life decisions, manipulated people into fighting, twisting words, lying to and about us, stealing from us, harassing us, calling our jobs for the sole purpose of getting us fired, calling law enforcement and filing false reports, sending harassing letters to our spouses to break up relationships, arguing with us.

Joan Wheeler continuously whines that her birth family never took the time to understand her. Did she ever take the time to understand US? Did she EVER sit down and simply accept US? – NO! She had to find fault with everything – she didn’t like this, she didn’t like that – if we didn’t jump to her every whim, we were branded as not being supportive of HER! – Where was her support for US?

As for trust – would you trust someone who steals? Hell no. Why then should we trust her? So, yeah, she was asked to leave the family. Not just by Gert or Ruth, but by our other sister, our brother, our father, our cousins, our aunts and uncles. Family members of our father’s second wife. Even Joan’s own friends and family and acquaintances were running the hell away from her.

There’s something wrong somewhere when ONE person is continuously in fights with someone else!

Constantly fighting with her adoptive parents. In an abusive relationship with a college boyfriend. Fighting with another tenant in her very first apartment building – at the top of stairs – engaged in a shoving match over Tupperware. Fighting with her landlords over unpaid rent in the apartment she lived in when she had first child. Fighting with her landlords over unpaid rent in the house she lived in while married. Fighting with her husband. Fighting with an ex-boyfriend that she moved in after leaving her husband. Fighting and screaming with her adoptive mother, her kids, this boyfriend and that boyfriend. Fighting with her college professors, her classmates in college while studying social work. FIGHTING FIGHTING FIGHTING –  That’s all Joan knows how to do – argue and fight. bitch bitch bitch.

I couldn’t go anywhere with her without hearing her mouth bitching about something or someone. Shut up already! After she stole hundreds of dollars from, and disrespecting me – I kicked her out of my life.

But she can’t and won’t accept responsibility for the consequences of her actions. It isn’t HER fault I got mad at her – it’s mine. (HUH?)

THEN she writes a book that contains lie after lie about me.

So I’m supposed to view her as family? I don’t think so. She ain’t my family. And her latest deluded puppet seems to think there could be some sort of agreement or peace between us! What the f planet is he from?

Hey Brian – if you think so much of Joan – why don’t YOU take her in as YOUR family? Why don’t you marry her? And take care of her. If Joan needs so much care and love and attention – and you’re her knight in shining armor (Champ?) then I say: “Go for it!” – maybe you’ll get your shirts ironed too in the process. A mutually satisfying relationship.

There is no mutual satisfaction in any relationship that Joan has had with us. We don’t want her. We give her to you Brian. Have fun.


100% correct! and I may add that when Joan decided that SHE KNEW what was best for my marriage and children, going behind my back to alienate my minor children, telling me I was WRONG to adopt my own child, and then called 2 child abuse reports on me…that is when she ceased to be any FAMILY to me. Three times since then 1981, I attempted to reconcile only to have her backstab me 3 more times. THEN, she wrote a lying book wherein she further added malicious misrepresentations of myself, husbands, finace, and children.

and you think that we have NO RIGHT TO EXPOSE her? And anyone who acts against us, in Joan Wheeler’s name, is just as bad. Brian Maloney has proven that he is just like Joan. Even to attack me on the familycircle, under your name of pilgrim, to browbeat and insult me over my ADOPTION OF MY SON. Who the hell do you think you are Brian? You get all your information from Joan…not a sound source.

Why don’t you Brian, take full charge of Joan, she obviously needs a caretaker and you are a SELF-PROCLAIMED defender of hers! Seems that it’s a match made in your kind of heaven.

UPDATE December 2016; as older posts are being seen I, Gert am updating with links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!


this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.



My answer to Gert’s post ‘Champ has left the building, Joan Wheeler has taken over’ and lots more! June 29, 2012

Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, mental illness, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Ruth here
Good morning. I went to bed at 10pm. I was going to stay up and do some blogging, but was just too tired.

So here it is 3:30. I find a bunch of comments on Gert’s post “Champ has left the building…Joan Wheeler has taken over….”
I was going to comment myself, but find I have to much to say – so here is a new blog post.

Thank you Paula for having the courage to write your observations. We have long suspected that people reading our blog and Joan’s blog can tell for themselves that Joan is mentally ill. Joan knows herself that she is mentally ill. She readily admits that she’s been in therapy for over 30 years and describes herself as “damaged.” She finally got something right.

For the life of me, I cannot and have never understood WHY she has gone after me – all these years. Sure, she has hurt Gert and Kathy, and I’ve said it before to both of them – that book was NOT about adoption – it was to trash everyone in her life who ever angered her, and in particular ME. She calls me Brenda in the book. My god, every other page is Brenda this, Brenda that. Is the book a biography of Brenda or a biography of Joan. She writes about my first husband, my job, makes a mockery of my miscarriage, makes outlandish claims regarding a telephone annoyance incident – has a police detective talking nonsense about my pets – yes – my pets! A police officer would not do that. I had my phone listed under a different name – Brittany. She has the police officer asking her who is Brandy Sippel? Joan writes that she told him that was my cat – actually it was my dog – and the officer says the phone bill is under the cats name and Joan says my gas bill is under the other cat’s name. A letter written to Gert’s daughter has her admitting that she knows my phone is listed under Brittany. So why not tell the truth in the book?

And how did I get into court for annoyance calls? Because in June 1993 (at the same time she was making trouble for Kathy, via her pal Rene Hoksbergen), I get a letter in the mail. The envelope, in Joan’s handwritiing, was addressed to me. So I open it up. Inside was a sloppy note, supposedly written by her ten year old son, to my husband. It does not say Dear Uncle John, just Dear John, – and comparing it to Joan’s handwriting – it was her. So I called her up. She hung up on me. I thought we were disconnected. I called again. She hung up. I called again. She hung up. – Well, the sly one had already falsely reported to the Annoyance Call Bureau that she was getting calls. And made them install a trace trap. And calls WERE NOT recorded. She sent that note to bait me, and I fell for it. The following week, my electricity was shut off. I called her again – because she owed me money, – the money that she stole from me in the first place – now I needed it – same thing. She kept hanging up on me. Then she reported me to the police.
I got a call from the police officer and I told him my side of the story. He told me that he would recomend to Joan not to press charges, but she went ahead and did anyway. That’s how she got the Order of Protection against me – and it was for six months. Not for one year as she writes in the book.
by the way, you can see the actual letter in this post.”Did Joan’s 10 year old son write that letter I got in June 1993? Or did Joan herself?”

The following year, a completely innocent typing mistake mixed up her hospital bill and she swore up and down that I had done it. Never mind that I did not, never did, work in the billing office. For forty years, I’ve worked as a nurse’s aide. Joan calls my job and they investigate it. They found me innocent. But she wasn’t going to have it. She KNEW I was guilty and despite being assured by my employer that I DIDN’T do it, she was going to change the facts and set out to destroy me. She called my job for months trying to get me fired. She made that false child abuse call against herself to destroy my relationship with my fiance (now husband), she wrote letters to the mayor of Buffalo. – This took us into 1995. I filed harassment charges against her, but the stupid judge dismissed it, saying “sisters should get along.” – I was so angry. I was victimized by Joan, now I was victimized by the judge.

The harassment stopped after an assitant district attorney yelled at both me and Joan in 1995, but then in 1998, out of the blue, Joan started up again. The assistant DA who yelled at us was not there any more, so I had to start from scratch – and in 1999, Joan wrote me a letter using a friend’s return address – without her permission – and in the letter Joan tells me my infertile husband got the next door neighbor pregnant and they had a daughter in 1993. I go down to the district attorney and they didn’t want to do anything. A friend of mine, who works in the present city government suggested Family Court – and they took my case, slapping a one year order of protection for me against Joan. But she doesn’t write about that in the book – instead, she has all 3 court cases all mixed up and convoluted with a statement that we had a 3 month court battle in 1994. – What she was talking about was the case I brought against her in 1995 – First appearance, she is arraigned and a trial date was set. Second appearance, the case gets postponed. Third appearance, the judge dismissed it. Three short appearance, probably 15 minutes in length each time in front of the judge – gets reported in the book as “a three month court battle” with her kids on the stand testifying against me.

When I read that for the first time – I was like stunned! It was a total fabrication – I’m still amazed that Joan wrote that and actually BELIEVES that things happened that way. Because she really does BELIEVE that things happen the way she reports.

That is why she canNOT ever EVER explain even actual court documents that PROVE WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT WHAT SHE SAYS DIDN’T HAPPEN OR HOW SHE SAYS OR THAT SHE LIED. She turns a blind eye to her own handwritten letters to me and my fiance and my mother in law. She didn’t do that. That’s her story and she’s sticking to it.

She whines and says that nobody knew how to proceed with the reunion. I have already addressed that on my blog – I don’t know what she means by that – that the birth siblings were supposed to be some sort of all-knowing gods?

In 1974, I had just gotten my first real apartment. I had been on my own from 71-72, moved back in at my dad’s to help out watching the little ones. My first “apartment’ was just a room in a boarding house, now I had a full apartment, with my own fridge, etc. A new adult. lol. I was 23, starting late, but was finding my first adult steps. And we had our reunion. What deep psychiatric bullcrap was I supposed to know? All I did was f’ing welcome her into my life. I was working full time nights. When I had a free time – we went out. We got together. We were like new friends getting to know each other, but we were sisters. And we were re-connecting. What the hell did she want from me? Apparrently my life. Because when she started her interfering in 1980, and we started telling her, don’t do that, she would act like a five year old, (whiny) “I didn’t mean it. I don’t know how to act.). She says in her book she was a naive sheltered white girl from the suburbs.) Bull – she was an adult. But yeah, she acted like a brat. By 1980, it was clear to us that she, despite being raised by two parents, did not have the same morals and values that we did. We did not try to mold her to fit OUR pre-conceptions of what Doris might be, we simply put our foot down to someone who began interfering with our lives. Lying to us, and eventually stealing from us. These are things that are NOT tolerated by ANYone.

I recently broke off a freindship with someone who had the nerve to swear at me on my facebook page. At 1 in the morning she calls me up demanding to know why I took her off my facebook page. Then she starts swearing at me on the phone. This is a friend? Not in my book. So I said “goodby” – end of friendship. I don’t allow ANYbody to abuse me, not phyisically, verbally or otherwise. You disrespect ol’ Ruth – be prepared to be thrown out of her life. Boom. End of story.

Joan couldn’t accept that one by one, not only her birth siblings, but her birth father, and other members of both her adopted and birth family turned their backs on her – not because she was adopted, or is a militant adoptee – IT IS JOAN’S OWN BEHAVIOR – HER WORDS AND DEEDS THAT GOT HER KICKED OUT OF THE FAMILY.

Now she gets on the internet and wants people to feel sorry for HER. Because we birth sisters are telling the truth of what happened. We’re being admonished by her in her guise of Chimp to “understand” HER feelings of being adopted. NO way!

I did that back in the 70’s. I bent over backwards for her – all the way thru the 80’s and finally had enough when she stole from me. And from January 1991 to the present, I’ve been punished for simply saying I WON’T BE ABUSED BY JOAN WHEELER ANY MORE.

Joan Wheeler tried to destroy my life. She railroaded me in court. She tried to break me and John up. She tried to get me fired from my job. She wrote letters to the mayor and other elected officials in an attempt to ruin my reputation. She writes that book and trashes me left and right in that book. And worse of all – the worst of it – and she was there – during the years I was trying to get pregnant. And she even borrowed my books on pregnancy and child-raising, and was there when I miscarried in 1985, yet in the book states: “at one point she (me) claimed to want to have children.” then mocks my infertility by saying, “just as well she didn’t get pregnant.”

What does THAT have to do with Joan’s adoption, her reunion, or her adoption reform work? NOTHING -ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. It was a pure attack on me – a vicious, below-the-belt comment, written especially to slam me and hurt me, BECAUSE JOAN KNEW HOW MUCH I WANTED A CHILD.

No, I don’t feel sorry for Joan – I hate her. But no, my life does not revolve around her or my hate of her- or this blog. I have a life and a busy one at that. – I actually have not had much time to do a lot of blogging – it has been sporadic lately. Since the last week of January of this year, I’ve had some health issues. And because of being injured on my job last summer, we had fallen behind in some bills, so our finances were strained. So despite my health issues, I did what people with morals and values do – instead of stealing money from someone, sick as I was, I picked up extra shifts at work.

In the meantime, my husband John has been getting his documentation together. He never had his original birth certificate, and despite being a know-it-all about birth certificates and expert in those matters – Joan never helped John obtain his original birth certificate. Well, I did. And by god, I’m not even an adoption expert or birth certificate expert! We just went to Lackawanna and got it. And everything is A-OK.

When John turned 65 a few years ago, he was supposed to be automatically placed on Medicare Part B. We never heard from Social Security. And he is covered under my family plan thru my job, so we never paid any attention. Well of a sudden, our health insurance was denying his doctor bills. So – we had to get all that straightened out. Several weeks ago John went to social security and while there for one thing, made the decision to retire. He was going to retire in 2013, but why wait?

So while we were waiting for all that paperwork, the first week of June, my computer – a netbook, crashed. Gert in the meantime, bought a new computer and shipped me her old laptop, a bit outdated, but still works just fine. AND I went and ordered a new netbook. So now, I got two computers and have been busy transfering files from my external hard drive to Gert’s old laptop and personalizing it. I still haven’t even gotten my new netbook up and running. I turned it on the first day I got it – it works. I installed a game, played it – it works, and it’s been in my office ever since. I’ve been working on the larger laptop in the living room, which will be transfrered to the kitchen by next week for John to work on.

Sooo – John’s social security check came – for two months worth (May and June) and we’ve been busy catching up with our finances. Just yesterday, Thursday, I was downtown paying my county taxes and water bill. It feels good to have zero balance on all our property taxes. And we had to go to our health insurance and show them that now that he has Medicare part B – they need to straighten that out. They said that they will go back and take care of any claims that had been denied. whew!

NOW – today, is John’s last day at work. I have to work this weekend, and of course there’s the holiday coming up next week, which I have to work (hospitals never close ya know). Next weekend, we are going to Red Lobster to celebrate his retirement. Then next month, we have three things to celebrate – both our birthdays, and our tenth wedding anniversary. We have long wanted to check out a restaurant near downtown Buffalo – Chef’s – the official restaurant of the Buffalo Sabres. I’m not kidding – it is! Apparently the players go there for dinner a lot. It’s an Italian restaurant, and must be good – the parking lot is always packed!

I’m also busy with my other passion – Star Trek, and I am head of a local Star Trek group. And a newsletter is due. So I simply MUST get one of my computers hooked up to my printer and get to work. And we are having our July meeting downtown at the waterfront in a couple of weeks. AND I’m still busy with my archiving work. Scanning into my computer pictures, and papers, articles of topics that I’m interested in. I’m interested in many topics, Ancient Egypt, Ancient Meso-America, other historical eras, I love art – Art Deco and Art Neuveau (I can never spell that right).metaphysics, crystals and herbs, AND I’m digitizing my music collection. I have on my external hard drive almost 850 albums of music.With more to go. I love all forms of music – from head banging metal to Mozart.

So with all this stuff going on – I don’t always have to time to blog. And Joan also put me down in her book for me liking horror movies. And just recently slammed me because I have multiple blogs! So f’ing what? I am a multi-faceted person with passion for the things I like. If you ask me, Joan is simply jealous that my life is so rich! And that I get the hell out there and do things I love. And yeah, I do have multiple blogs – one is the main blog about refuting that book, one was set up just to have simple statements from us three sisters that we will not accept abuse from Joan Wheeler. Another blog is set up to share family stories. Another blog is my horror site Midnight and Mythos. John is itching to learn the computer and the internet and contribute to our blog. His screen name is The Cadaverman. That gives you a bit of hint of what you can expect he will write about. 

And two months ago, I set up another blog for my Star Trek group The USS Ari, and to share my vast Star Trek scrapbook. There is a website already –  My Star Trek Scrapbook  by my friend Fred. He has been doing this for a few years now. Last summer, he put up a magazine article from 1979, but was missing the last page. Well, I had that article in my collection, and put that page on my blog to share with him. He suggested I start my own webpage and post the pictures and articles that I have, and this way, he and I can share with each other, and the world, our Star Trek passion. My Ari site is not ready to be up and running – but it will be soon. And Joan, in her guise of Chimp, can put me down, and ridicule me all she wants, because what she is doing by ridiculing me for my passions, and my choice of a tv show or genre of movies, – she is showing the world that despite her being 56 years of physical age, her mental age is that of a 10 year old. Acting like a schoolyard bully – she is the same as those bullying brats on the school bus two weeks ago, that bullied bus aide Karen Klein. By the way, if you click on the link and go see Fred’s site – he also has multiple blogs and likes horror too. So whaddya gonna do now Joan/Chimp? slam Fred for liking Star Trek and horror and having multiple blogs? bitch – your bitchiness is showing. ha ha. That didn’t help your cause any. All you accomplished was to show the world just what an abuser to your sister Ruth you are. You failed to show that YOU do not harass or engage in abusive behavior to Ruth – because — you just did.

So yeah, I got a busy life. And when I have a few minutes to write, I will. But most times, I have very little tiime for losers like Joan and her imaginary playmate Chimp. Another thing people (read Joan/Chimp) fail to understand – that going through her book and blogging about it – it is therapuetic for us. Because we have never ever been able to get a word in edgewise with Joan. When you talk to her in person – she starts arguing, her voice raises, next thing you know she’s shouting at you – screaming – and her voice is so piercing it hurts your ears. And you can’t get your point across because SHE’S now controlling you – by screaming at you, not allowing your opinion to be heard. If you write to her – it’s harassment, if you’re on the phone with her – the second you disagree with her – she hangs up on you. WE HAVE BEEN BULLIED INTO SILENCE FOR MORE THAN 30 YEARS. And the blogs are now a way for us to get a chance to have our say. There is that well-known statement – “there’s two sides to every story.” And Joan as Chimp, has a lot of nerve to say that because WE are writing our blogs, WE are not listening to Joan’s side. ???? WTF??? JOAN’S BOOK WAS HER SIDE. OUR BLOGS ARE ANSWERING HER BOOK AND PUTTING OUT THE OTHER SIDE – THE TRUTHFUL SIDE.

Above, I said that Joan “believes” things happened this way or that way, but I’m not so sure that’s true. Because if it was, Joan wouldn’t have a problem with our blogs. No, the real thing going on is this: JOAN DESPERATELY WANTS US TO SHUT UP BECAUSE SHE DOENS’T WANT THE TRUTH TO COME OUT – THE TRUTH OF HER OWN DIRTY DEEDS. But sick and perverted as she is, she keeps talking to us, knowing we won’t shut up. It’s like the child who is misbehaving – acting out to get attention – ANY kind of attention, even getting knocked down again. And by gods, I will keep knocking her down. Until she publicly admits that she set out on a campaign of hate against me. And publicly admits she stole from me and lied about me. And publicly apologizes to me.

Get a life Joan/Chimp – my life is not yours. You tried to destroy my life in the past with all your stupid harassment – but it never worked. Now you get the tables turned on you. It’s called “reaping the seeds that you have sown.” I loved you once. as a sister. But you destroyed that love with your abuse. Now I hate you. Deal with it.

to Chimp June 15, 2012

Posted by Ruth in a. What is demanded from Joan Wheeler - the purpose of this blog., Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements, Uncategorized.
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chimp – grab a banana and stuff it

Your last garbage WAS acknowledged. IF you had any brains – and IF you could read – you would know that I haven’t answered in full because I am just too dam busy.

But since your monkey ass needs attention – I guess I will have to turn some attention to little Chimpy. but just for a minute.

IF you had read my comments to Gert’s blog – I said a couple of times that I had planned to answer you around the beginning of June. But I couldn’t. And Gert put up a blog post saying that  Ruth was taking a breather – was bogged down in stuff. And IF your feeble little brain would comprehend my posts on facebook you would know WHY. (go here to my facebook).

Ah yes, facebook – where Joan can’t see me because she has blocked me. BUT the general public CAN. And my settings are set so public can see me. So Chimpy – YOU can see me. But then again, as we all know – Chimpy and Joanie are the same.

Two weeks ago my computer, a netbook, an Acer Aspire One crashed. I had if for almost three years and I worked the hell out of it. Contrary to Joan, my every minute of computer time was NOT devoted to her widdle butt.  I use my computer for other writing tasks, archiving purposes, and entertainment. – in fact I just yesterday made a status blurb on facebook on how I had just finished up digitizing and cataloging three new additions to my music collection: the soundtracks to E.T.; Superman the Movie, and Raiders of the Lost Ark. And annoucned the next ones will be the soundtracks to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom; Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade; and Return of the Jedi.

In the last two years, I have digitized most of my CDs. I still have about 75 CDs to do. These are all my classical ones – and they are going to be a lot of work. Lots of typing, scanning the booklets, downloading artwork. I also created a database via Microsoft Access. Everything has to go into my database. On my one external hard drive – I have a total of 836 albums – that’s FULL albums, – I have the entire Beatles collection – the UK and the US releases – 28 full albums – 19 out of 25 John Denver albums. I also spent two weeks in May, cataloging all my vinyl records that are up in my attic. I had already cataloged my cassettes. Which are still in good working condition. don’t know why Joan’s tapes were f’ed up – as she indicated in her book. Mine are perfectly fine. – and I have the equipment and software to transfer those onto the computer. AND I’ve even got MP3’s of all the music albums that I had on 8 Track! yeah – I still had about 10 of those guys. lol. Oh – speaking of vinyl records – guess what I found in my attic – Inside Star Trek – and it was Joan’s. – Hey Joan – an even swap – I’ll give you back your property in exchange for mine – the busted bronze replica of King Tut’s throne that Colby promised to weld back together for me and never did and I never got back. PLUS all the money you stole from me in 1990 PLUS interest – because I had to pay that money back to the bank at 18% interest. Let’s make a settlement here – $1000.00 – that should cover ALL the money you stole from me, the interest, AND the King Tut throne. In exchange, I will give you back your Inside Star Trek record. And the exchange will be done by a person of MY choosing at a place and time that I choose. And in addition to the exchange – I want a public apology and explanation of how and why you stole the money from me – by dipping into a joint checking account that was supposed to be to buy real estate – but YOU dipped into it to fix the brakes for your car. MY money was NOT to be used for YOUR living expenses. You had a busted car? You should have done what other people do – got off your ass and got a job to earn the money to fix your car. But noooo – little brat Joanie stole Ruth’s money to fix her car -and did it without even asking. bitch. If you pay me the $1000.00 and make a public apology and explanation of this – AND your treatment of me over Mr. Campo’s refund of his fee – that will remove 2 of the items of the list of demands from you that I have listed on the page titled “What is Demanded of Joan Wheeler.” – found right at the top of this blog’s home page. And don’t forget Joanie baby – I still have all the paper documents related to 1989 and 1990 – even Mr. Campo’s letter. They have been scanned into the computer and some of them are already on this blog. See, not only do I tell the truth of Joan’s actions and words – I provide the dam proof. Irrefutable proof of Joan’s lies and thefts.

Back to my music collection.Some of the music I get from my personal CDs, some from friends, some I purchase the MP3’s from Amazon. See what you can do when you have a job Joan? You actually have dollars that you can use for your enjoyment! And I don’t have to rely on handouts from society. I worked from the age of 19 – and reap the rewards. And I have the good feeling that all I have accomplished in my life – I did it myself – I never have had to compromise myself to ANYbody – not even my two husbands to do it. I have never taken any shit from anybody just to have them pay my bills and shove it in my face about it – like Joan did. She readily accepted her adoptive mothers paying her bills and had to listen that harpie – but then Joan loves confrontations – she is not happy unless she is fighting with someone – and deep down, she wanted the excuse to fight with her amother – just so the topic of her adoption would come up and she could shove it in the woman’s face. I know – I’ve those two in action.

So getting back to the events of the past 2 weeks – The guys at Office Depot were working to retrieve my data off my poor busted hard drive. Gert had an older Compaq laptop and a small Acer Aspire, just like mine. Gert had bought herself a new regular size laptop and made plans to give her old one to me. Even as my little Acer was at Office Depot, Gert was packing up her Compaq and shipped it out to me. Meanwhile, I went to a public computer and ordered myself a new little Acer. Gert’s Compaq came to my house and just 3 days later, my new little Acer came. The guys at Office Depot got all my stuff – so I didn’t lose anything of importance – but I did lose my favorites file.- Most of my info and music collection are on 3 separate external hard drives. What’s on the actual computer’s hard drive are my working projects.

I’ve also been busy closing down my HSBC accounts since they are leaving WNY. AND my husband has been doing necessary upgrades to his financial portfolio. We have been busy upgrading our finances, both individually and jointly. It has actually taken me two weeks to personalize the computer Gert gave me. I had to rebuild my favorites (websites) folder – that info got lost when my little Acer died. And to keep from losing that info again, I have made a seperate Word Document listing my favorite websites’ web addresses and storing them on a separate flashdrive. These websites are not just entertainment – but necessary ones, like where I file my taxes, the DMV, and other important sites. And I haven’t even begun with the new little Acer.  Once I get everything all set up – the Acer stays in my home office – and the larger laptop will be for John to use. Yes Joan – John is itching to learn the internet and contribute to our horror website. Because his screen name is The Cadaver Man and he has lots of horror things to write about. Now go ahead – put us both down for the things we like. Just like the little pisspot schoolyard bully that you are! You don’t like horror? that’s fine. It’s not your cup of tea. So go blow your stupid idiotic comments out the window – and yes – I started a new blog – it’s not really up and running yet – but it will be to share my Star Trek memorabilia – articles, clippings, photos, – because an internet buddy of mine encouraged me to do it – to compliment his Star Trek site. Now go ahead Chimpy – do the same thing – be a little pisspot schoolyard bully and ridicule me for my liking Trek. All you did was show people was an ass YOU are – to hold up and ridicule another human beings choice of what they do for fun in their spare time. – My Trek hobby does not interfere with my job, my finances, my relationships. Who the hell are YOU to put me down for what I do in my spare time. You are nothing – a nobody – you only exist in Joan’s warped brain anyway.

And why is it everything breaks at one time? We put in our air conditioner a couple of weeks ago. It worked for two days then died. (well, it was 13 or 14 years old). Our can opener died. So yesterday, John and I went shopping. New a/c and can opener at Wal-Mart, new purse for me for K-Mart (the strap was ripping) – new sneakers for John – then we filled up the gas tank and got groceries. Ah yes – it feels good to have $$$$ to replace things when they break – or even get new things! I bust my ass at my job – and reap the rewards. I have a well earned sense of pride of doing for myself and not having to owe anything to anybody – except my mortgage company and the gas company and the electric company and Discover card and JCPenney and Home Depot,  lol.

So Chimp – you will just have to wait your turn – I got a busy life. Take a  number and have a seat. I’ll get back to you.
have a banana while you wait.

quit your damn whining Chimp – you bad little monkey. I’ll answer you when I feel like it.

What are the facts of Joan Wheeler’s adoption? Certainly not the crap she says it was. Here is the truth of it. February 15, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family, Lies in the book Forbidden Family, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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A lot of this stuff has been blogged about before – but it doesn’t hurt to do it again – in the hopes that it will eventually sink in that think head of Joan Wheeler’s. Because she keeps going on the internet and keeps posting the same delusions – the same erroneous fantastical twisting of the facts of her adoption. And we notice that on some internet sites she says one thing, and on other sites she says different things.

So I will start from the dam beginning AGAIN. – With the cold hard facts.

Joan was conceived sometime in July 1955. Around Christmas 1955, my mother became very sick and went into the hospital. We four kids at home were ages – Gert – (one month shy of 9 years old, Kathy, 4 months shy of 8 years old, Butch, one month shy of 6 years old, and me, 3 years, 4 months old). The doctors didn’t know what was wrong with my mother – she couldn’t keep any food down. On January 7, 1956, she went into labor and spontaneously miscarried the baby in her hospital bed. The baby was placed in an incubator. My mother’s health continue to deteriorate. On January 19, they did exploratory surgery, and she was found to be full of cancer. It was so far spread, there was nothing to be done. They closed her back up and on March 28, she died. Joan has reported on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change Forum that the doctors discovered a cancer tumor the same size as the baby – no they never did. At other places she reports the tumor was the size of a grapefruit. Read what I just wrote – she had exploratory surgery on January 19, 12 days after the baby was born. Other places Joan reports that she asked my father if there had ever been any plans to abort her and my father said no. Of course he would say that – because they didn’t know what was wrong with my mother. They had not discovered any dam tumor before the baby was born.

When Joan was discharged from the hospital, she had impetigo – a pimply rash that she acquired at the hospital. She went to stay with my mother’s brother and his wife, who tried very hard to clear up the rash. In her lying book, Joan says that her amom told her that when they got Joan (April 1956) Joan was full of sores due to poor hygiene. This is a lie and a slam against my Aunt Ann and my uncle Richard, who when was told of this a year ago, was very angry. He told me on the phone what happened. He was furious. So much for Joan respecting her godparents and the people who took care of her while her mother was dying in the hospital.

Yes, my mother’s brothers wanted her to go to Roswell Park Cancer Institute for cancer research. Yes, my father refused. It was his decision to make, along with my mother. My aunt Catherine told me that my mother didn’t want it either. My uncles, in their grief blamed my father. These things happen all the time. And yes, in the case of my one uncle, the bitter feelings remained down the years, but at least the two men just avoided each other. None of the family EVER took their feelings out on us kids.

My mother’s sister Catherine went to grammer school with a woman named Helen. After my mom died, my uncle asked my father what he was going to do about the baby. Because his wife was going to have a baby and there were other kids too. Catherine had just given birth to her last child, and had two other toddlers at home. My mother’s siblings had their own kids to raise, my father’s parents were elderly and couldn’t take on the responsibility of an infanct.

Catherine talked to Helen and Helen said her brother-in-law and his wife couldn’t have kids and wanted to adopt – so they asked my father (NOT at my mom’s funeral, like Joan likes to lie about). My father consulted his pastor and then agreed to the adoption. He re-married several months later. He had one year to change his mind about the adoption. He didn’t. The adoption was finalized in January 1957.

So much for Joan’s assertion that my father was “coerced” into giving her up for adoption. Yes, it could be argued he was grief-stricken, but he had a full year to consider the adoption – to change his mind. In that year, he married another woman. Who had two sons, one stayed with her mother and the other came to be with us. And yes, in 1970, 6 years after that woman died, my father married again, to a woman with two daughters, one he legally adopted in 1979. The facts that he gave a daughter up for adoption, gained 2 stepsons, then gained 2 stepdaughters, and ended up legally adopted one of those stepdaughters shows us how unpredictible and transitory life can be. My father did the best he could – making decisions on the raising of his children with the resources (physical and non-tangible) that he had at the time of those decisions. As any parent does. As any person does when making decisions with their lives. That some of those decisions affected another person’s life (for the betterment or detriment) is just a result of the serendipitous nature of life. – I mean, I could make a decision to quit  my present job and take a job at another place – and in 2 years that new place could close down and then I’d be out of work! Unless you’re a very very good psychic with a very accurate crystal ball – you just don’t know what’s going to happen in life down the road. You make the best decision you can, and hope for the best. And that’s exactly what my father did. To hold him – and the rest of the family – hostage to a life decision that he had the right to make (concerning his children that he had sole custody of and responsibilty for) is wrong. Joan is a parent herself. I’m sure she made choices and decisions that affected her children too. Joan just needs to accept the facts of her childhood and MOVE ON! As anyone on this planet has to and does. She keeps looking backwards – instead of forward.

Instead of constantly whining and blaming her birth sisters for her rotten life – she needs to look at the results of the decisions that SHE made the past 30 years. Like publishing that filthy book full of lies.

Going back to 1956 – my father’s second wife came from a large Italian family. She had one brother and three sisters, all were married with kids. These kids became my “step-cousins” and I remember playing with them. Anyway – Joan likes to report on a fantastical tale told to her by her aparents – that the Christmas after they got Joan (would this be 1956 or 1957? Joan never says) her aparents bought a Christmas tree and presents for us Sippel kids because we were so poor. This story is pure BULLSHIT! My father remarried in the summer of 1956. To a woman from a large family. My father was not poor. He worked in Buffalo’s City Hall. Yes, we lived in a cramped apartment – but as the years went on, we moved to better places. This is how ANYbody does. My first “apartment” was a room in a boarding house – then I shared an apartment, then eventually got my own small studio apartment, and each time I moved thereafterwards my apartments were better than the last – and in 1987, I moved to a house, which is now MINE. I went from a room in a boarding house, working my way up to owning my own house. So what’s the problem? My father did the same. By 1965 he bought his own house, but by 1975, he decided he didn’t want the responsibility of it. And it is a big responsibility, let me tell you.

Joan’s aparents lived in an all-white suburb of Buffalo – her father worked as an electrician at Dunlop tires. That was a good paying job. And they had only one child – and Joan’s mom hand sewed her dresses. Joan likes to report that we kids were jealous of that. We may have pointed this out – but not because we are jealous – but to get Joan to see how nice she had it growing up and she should be appreciative of it. Yes, we other kids had hand-me-downs, but we were a large family. Large families do that.

My father’s second wife unfortunatley was mentally ill and spent some time in the psych center. One day, it was all arranged, we kids were at school. The ambulance came and took my stepmother. We kids were picked up at school by case workers and my sisters went to a foster home, my brothers and me to an orphanage – only about 4 blocks from the foster home. My father was with me. I remember. So much for Joan reporting that we kids came home from school for lunch to witness my stepmother screaming in the ambulance.

This would have been the fall of 1959 – as I spent my second grade at the orphanage, then 3rd grade I was back home. My stepmother died in 1964. Joan reports that we kids were placed in the foster and orphan home after she died. And she’s always getting our ages wrong. She chalks it up to “being in the fog.” If that is the case, if she is in the fog and is reporting erroneous things about our ages in her book and on the internet – CAN YOU TRUST ANY DAM THING SHE SAYS ABOUT HER BIRTH FAMILY? Because I have caught her in several contradictions in her book – and in one paragraph, she starts talking about me, then she starts talking about her daugher, then she mixes us both up.  Yep, Joan is in the fog all right.  And because she is, she needs to SHUT UP ABOUT THE FACTS OF MY LIFE, HER ADOPTION, MY MOTHER – THE FACTS THAT SHE KEEPS GETTING WRONG!

In 1960, my brothers and me came back to live with my father and my stepmother. Jo, despite her being ill, loved to embroider. She embroidered our bed linens – pillowcases and the like with all our names in the corner. She liked little flowers on hers and put little flowers on mine. She taught me to sew – or tried to. lol. Every Friday evening, she took me and my brothers downtown to the movies. We liked science fiction and monster movies. After the movies, we went to eat. I don’t always remember what I ate – but I remember always getting a chocolate milkshake. I remember Jo taking care of me when I was sick with the measles, bringing me a tray of chicken soup to my bedroom and patting my head. She took care of me when I came home after getting my tonsils out.

We kids had many many toys. I remember them all. I had my own desk with lots of crayons and differnt color chalks. The first Visible V-8 engine. I remember the doll houses – the kitchen sets – the little dishes, my set was blue with flowers – and they weren’t plastic – they were metal.

Joan can take her lying stories of MY childhood and shove them – she wasn’t there. She doesn’t know how we lived. She’s going by the lies told her by adoptive parents who looked down at us.

And every time Joan puts those lies out there on the internet – we Sippel Sisters will be right here, on this blog to tell the TRUTH of our own dam childhood. Get a life Joan – my life, my childhood is NOT yours for the taking.

1. gertmcqueen

Gert here…

The TRUTH is always worth repeating!!! particularly when there is a nut case out there that is determine to expose and exploit, for fame and money….our LIVES AND OUR FAMILY

As long as Joan Wheeler keeps those two web site up that exploits and lies about us and our parents we shall continue to tell everyone, everywhere, just what a liar she is as well as all her DARK secrets and all her malicious deeds…

When will Joan Wheeler ever accept the TRUTH? Probably NEVER and that means we will continue on telling the truth.


new post by Gert McQueen: Is adoption a theft? According to Joan Wheeler it is! January 17, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Announcements and updates.
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new post by Gert McQueen “Is adoption a theft? According to Joan Wheeler it is!” — with a scathing comment by … ME! – because Joan says her kids have no family – hell it ain’t MY fault! read and find out whose fault it really is!


Joan Wheeler condemns her birth family for looking at pictures of her January 12, 2012

Posted by Ruth in Contradictions of Joan Wheeler, Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Joan Wheeler's abuse and harassment of her birth family.
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So today on the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change forum was this discussion. Joan was not part of it, but I find it very interesting.

  The title of the thread is “Is it weird?”
opening post:

When I started my search I was dying to find out information.  I found out that my nparents married and had three boys.  I was so excited when I found out I not only had siblings but they were full siblings.  Weird thing was I have ALWAYS wanted a brother and now I find out I have 3! 

Okay, the thing I am hoping is not too weird is I like cyber stalk them because I haven’t reached out to my bfamily yet.  Is it weird I check out their Facebook and I have saved pictures I could find?  I even put them all together with mine to see if there are similarities (which I believe I see many).  I found a picture of my bdad and it is so weird I think he looks like my agrandpa.  The one I long to find, however, is my bmom.  I have one clipping that the state put in my file of their marraige announcement and their picture is there but it is so terrible and is hard to see.  It is a strange longing and what I can see of her in the face I think we look crazy alike! 

Anyway, now that I have babbled on about my thoughts and weirdness I will settle down.  Haha! 
Reply #1

LOL Renae, Those are completely normal things for adoptees to do!
Reply #2

Yep, completely normal!  Who WOULDN’T want to see the face of their own mother?  Or see and know something about their own families?  I think it is more abnormal to NOT want to do those things.

I mean, why is Ancestry.com so huge? Because people want to know where they came from. 
Reply #3
Completely normal.  I was happy too when I found out my first parents were married.  I always wanted brothers but ended up with sisters instead…

Congrats of finding them! Have fun cyber stalking!
Reply #4

Completely normal!  I cyber stalked my siblings for months until b-mom finally told them!
Reply #5
It is not weird.
Reply #6

Totally normal.  I checked out all my relatives via Facebook before making contact (they seemed relatively normal lol).  When I told them, they laughed and said they would have done the same lol.

I did family history via Births/Deaths and Marriages and, to cut a long story short, found a family history site for a convict and his brother (convict is grandfather’s descendant, his brother is grandmother’s descendant) – wrote away for the FH books which listed all the 7000 or so descendants and in a couple of the books discovered pictures of my nmum, most of my uncles, grandparents and grandmother’s siblings and parents and grandfathers father – that was pretty exciting because I really wasn’t expecting to find any photos at all – well worth the $10 I spent on all 3 books lol.  
Reply #7

Perhaps a lot more weird is that I often google my nmum’s widower’s name in the hope that there will be something online about him (eg is he still alive (he was alive a year ago though very ill)) as I sort of want to contact him one day (but am too scared to lol).  I did find an interesting legal document (he is suing a company for health reasons) which does give all his work history – probably of no relevance to me but sort of interesting. 

So now to my observations:
In her book, and on her websites, Joan Wheeler bitches and moans that pictures of her were exchanged between a birth aunt and an adopted aunt. She equates that with “spying.” She’s even accused her birth sisters of stalking her for her entire life. Considering we were children (me being 3 years old) – that’s kind of hard to do! Joan also related in her book that when she was an adult (?) in her first apartment, she had a picture of our mother and she was staring at it, trying to relate to it. (just like the person who started this thread on the forum).

To clarify: my mother’s sister, Catherine, grew up with a woman named Helen. Helen’s brother in law Edward Wheeler and his wife couldn’t have kids of their own and wanted to adopt. When my mother died, and it became clear that my father couldn’t take care of an infant, Aunt Catherine asked my father what he was going to do. She SUGGESTED adoption. My father consulted his priest. After much soul-searching, he agreed to the adoption. He was not coerced. So the adoption took place. YES through the years, Aunt Catherine knew about Joan. She never told us, until Gert was an adult. Joan CONDEMNS Aunt Catherine in her book as “spying” on her. BULLSHIT! Aunt Catherine and Helen GREW UP TOGETHER – they were friends BEFORE my parents and Joan’s aparents even met and married! And of course Aunt Catherine would “keep an eye” on Joan (keeping silent because of the legalities), because JOAN WAS THE DAUGHTER OF HER DEAD SISTER!

Dammit Joan – why is all your whining all about YOU and YOUR pain? Did you never think that Aunt Catherine would be in pain? Do you think that Aunt Catherine LOVED you your entire life, and be hurting, knowing that you were her neice and she couldn’t hug and kiss you? Or that when your birth siblings wanted to find you it was because WE LOVED YOU?

So if it is normal for ADOPTEES to “stalk” their birth families, why is it NOT normal for BIRTH FAMILIES to “stalk” the adopted ones? As usual, these adoptees have a double standard. Joan routinely CONDEMNS her birth sisters for doing the same dam thing she did – look at a picture of a family member and wonder about them. Yes, Joan CONDEMNS Aunt Catherine for having a picture of her when she had her First Holy Communion. Aunt Catherine was a second mother to me. I know that she spent hours looking at that picture of Joan and cried, knowing this was the daughter of her dead sister. But Joan did the same thing when she received a picture of her dead mother.

Yep – that Joan Wheeler is full of contradictions and double standards. SHE can look at pictures of her birth family, but her birth family is condemned for looking at pictures of her.

1. gertmcqueenJanuary 12, 2012

Gert here:

very good Ruth…great insights into the minds of adoptees and of course Joan!!
while I can certainly understand their ‘need to know’ I do find their double standards and their tactics to be worst than childish and more malicious in nature….they, the adoptee, can do all the spying and stalking they want…but NO ONE else can!! And the adoptee, Joan in particular, screams that we, the birth siblings, are COMMITTING the crime of cyber-stalking for doing the very thing they are doing.

So the next time Joan Wheeler tells the world or a lawyer that we are stalking her, she had better be careful for we shall refer them to this post…

2. RuthJanuary 13, 2012

oh yes- the subject of stalking – let me tell you about stalking!

In 1987, I had broken off ties with Joan – because she had hurt and insulted me after I had miscarried my son. I had hung up the phone on her in April 1987. The following month, my husband (then fiance) John moved into a house together. I had the post office send my mail to a friend’s house in Lackawanna NY. I did not call Joan AT ALL. I did not Write to her either. But for months – I would come into work and find little slips of paper paperclipped to my timecard – memos from the nursing office – “call Joan Wheeler at (such and such number)” I never called her.

In the summer of 1988, I reached out to Joan and we reconciled. She told me that she tried to find me. She went to the post office to get my forwarding address – it was some house in Lackawanna, but the people there said they didn’t know me. (thank you Hassan) – and Joan said that she’d been calling my job and leaving messages and once had a conversation with one of my managers, who told her (and remember, this is Joan telling me this) “If Ruth doesn’t want to call you, there’s nothing we can do.”


Go ahead now, Joan, file cyberstalking and other stalking charges against me – for I will tell the authorities what a bitch YOU are. You want to take that gamble? And how about the times you wrote letters to my job in 1995 – falsely accusing me of computer hacking with my employer and giving away private details of my life to a supervisor that did not know me. Or how about the time in March 2011 you went on the Huffington Post internet site and blabbed sexual abuse garbage about me and my sisters – garbage that resulted in you getting kicked off the Huffington site. – a clear case of CYBERSTALKING! Oh, the pot sure has a lot of nerve calling the kettle black.

from Gert McQueen’s blog: Do some adoptees, that have mental illness, get it from their genes or environment or because they are adopted? Joan Wheeler presents her views! November 7, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world, Lessons in Life, Refuting Joan Wheelers statements.
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Today, November 7, 2011, Gert McQueen posted this on her blog. I am posting it here, in it’s entirety, because it’s so important. – Read, and please learn from it.
by Gert McQueen 
Do some adoptees, that have mental illness, get it from their genes or environment or because they are adopted? Joan Wheeler presents her views!
The question was raised on Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change…
« on: October 24, 2011, 03:28:47 PM »
If you are diagnosed mentally ill…. do you feel it is genetics, crazy upbringing by aparents or is it just the life on an adoptee? where do you think it comes from.
 1adoptee AKA Joan Wheeler answers
« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2011, 12:41:17 PM »
Nancy Verrier’s other book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, is one that ought to be given to any therapist who treats an adoptee. Verrier addresses the core issues of abandonment and loss. On page 429: “…proceeds from the separation trauma. It would be a huge mistake to try to untangle the adoptee’s relationship to the adoptive parents without understanding of the lens through which the adoptee views them. All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well. Something devastating happened to him which makes him distrust close relationships.” … “Instead of pathologizing society’s penchant for separating babies and their mothers, we pathologize the victims of a grave wrongdoing… We need to normalize the adoptee’s and the birth mother’s responses to this separation or at least come up with a better diagnosis, because what is happening is that inaccurate diagnoses are resulting in poor or harmful treatment.” “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions….The most notorious is the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. This term is frequently used within the mental health profession as little more than (page 430) a sophisticated insult…..Adoptees are not Borderlines!” Basically, adoptees do not split in their minds. Adoptees actually do have two mothers and two fathers. (my words) On page 448: “This brings us to a more accurate diagnosis for what adoptees and birth mothers are suffering from —- post-traumatic stress disorder. …trauma is based in reality, unlike other psychological disorders, trauma is based on a true experience.” Get the book and ask your therapist to read it.
 What she say? Oh right…abandonment and loss! Are adoptees the only people that have experienced these things? Most of this comes from a certain point of view that is current in the psycho-babble of ‘healing the adoptee’ and this babble gives these angry militant adoptees a license to go out and browbeat everyone and everything in favor of adoption. These people ought to be ashamed and the public informed…which is what I’m doing.
Any child that has been placed with someone, other than an parent, for any reason, might suffer from abandonment and loss. I know that I DID and I’m not an adoptee! I have had issues with ‘distrust in close relationships’ too, not because I was adopted but because I felt the abandonment and loss that comes from having a parent die when I was a small child and having been placed in a foster home! These issues are NOT the sole property of adoptees!
It just might be that if a person has a mental illness it just means that…they have a mental illness and they ought to stop laying blame, for it, upon adoption. Joan Wheeler will never see the world in the way it truly is because she is a true believer in the ‘world according to Joan’ and we must not confuse her with anything but her own facts.
Joan says: Basically, adoptees do not split in their minds. Adoptees actually do have two mothers and two fathers.
Well…I too had more than one mother and father…I had foster parents!! And I was also grateful to have had someone who cared for me!
Joan says: post-traumatic stress disorder. …trauma is based in reality, unlike other psychological disorders, trauma is based on a true experience
It seems to me that some types of adoptees are just not able to come to terms with their life like regular people do. Here is the bottom line, these people relish their pain, they love their pain and wouldn’t know what to do without their pain! Come on…PTSD!!! This is nonsense! Joan might suffer from it but that’s probably due to her own inabilities over her life to come to terms with the reality of life…she was adopted…she had a crazy home life with adoptive parents…she and only she destroyed every relationship in her birth family because of her negative behaviors. If Joan suffers from PTSD it is NOT because she was adopted, its because she has always HAD to argue with everyone over the fact that she was ADOPTED! Get over it already.
oh brother, here we again. The poor little misunderstood adoptee. As if they are the only ones on the planet that had bad stuff happen to them. Want some cheese with that whine my dear?

“All other relationships in the adoptee’s life will be misunderstood as well..

Really? – What I UNDERSTAND is that when I was reunited with my adopted-out birth sister Joan Wheeler, after I opened my life and arms and heart to her is that is was clear that her morals and values were NOT like mine, or other members of my family. We were raised not to steal, not to lie, to treat people with kindness. Unlike Joan. I don’t know where she learned it from – but just a few years after our reunion she turned into a bitch.

She lied to me, manipulated me, stole from me, harassed me, set me up to phone her by sending me forged letters and greeting cards, (and when I phoned, she hung up on me, then told the police that it was ME who was placing annoyance phone calls), then she called my job to get me fired, tried to break me and my fiance up, wrote letters to his mother trashing me, wrote letters to elected officials, called child abuse on herself, implicating me, sent me a letter telling me my infertile husband got the next door neighbor pregnant, writes a book full of slander and libel. – Sooo what’s to understand?

So, let me get this straight – in Nancy Verrier’s book, Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up, she says, “Many adoptees have been diagnosed with personality disorders simply as a result of the ignorance of the helping professions”

I don’t need to have doctorate as a “helping profession” (does she mean psyciatrists, psychologists, mental health counselors), to know that WRONGFUL THINGS were done to me by an out-of-control person who refuses to grow up.

As for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – many many people suffer from it. But that does not give ANYbody an excuse to break the law, harass other people, bully other people, or generally be a total idiot. My husband is a Vietnam Veteran who has PTSD and still somehow holds down a job, owns a house, takes care of the house and me, is a law-abiding person, does not bully or bother anyone. So don’t give that crap that Joan Wheeler’s behavioral problems needs to be “understood.” BULL! She’s a trouble-making liar, plain and simple as that.

so getting back to the queston on the forum: “If you are diagnosed mentally ill…. do you feel it is genetics, crazy upbringing by aparents or is it just the life on an adoptee? where do you think it comes from.” – – I don’t care where it comes from – all I know is that I have been used and abused by Joan Wheeler and I don’t give a damn about any so-called “trauma” Joan has endured – from anything – all I know is IT DOES NOT GIVE HER THE RIGHT TO TURN AROUND AND TRAUMATIZE ME.

I was NOT traumatized by HER adoption! so get that thought right out of your heads. I suffered from the loss of MY mother. Then my father’s disastrous second marriage. Yet, I managed to grow up into a law-abiding person, who is contributing member of society, a person who has held down the same job in the same facility for 39 years, who saw disinetgrating quality of life issues on my street (drug use, litter, rodents) and organized a block club and worked with local government officials to correct those problems. And for that – Joan ridicules me in her book. What asshole ridicules a person who is trying to better American society? Joan Wheeler – that’s who. Oh, I’m SORRY, poor little Joan was adopted, and despite the title of that book (adoptees grow up) – Joan Wheeler will NEVER grow up. – excuse me while I go puke.

you know what this all boils down to? – The failure of people to accept SELF-RESPONSIBILTY for their own actions!

It’s so much easier to place the blame on someone or something else when you fuck up.

“The devil made me do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.

“You made do it.” – No, YOU made you do it.

“My rotten childhood made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.

“My adoptive parents made me do it.” No, YOU made you do it.

We are human and we will all make mistakes. The point is, when you make a mistake, own up to it. There is no devil, no other person, be they your parent (adopted or birth), other family member, boss, rude cashier at the store, co-worker, customer, neighbor, that can MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT TO DO!

I have said before on my blog – when Joan has written lies about me on the internet – it wasn’t me who forced my way into her house, hold her gunpoint, march her to the computer and “make” her type out lies about me – it was Joan herself, who made the concsious decision to write her lies. And she has gotten caught in some lies, some contradictions on the internet. We have copied and pasted her words, making notes of the dates and place where she said something, and then a few months later, we have seen her contradict herself on the internet. Again, I didn’t hold a gun to her to make her make a liar out of herself. She alone did that. As it was Joan’s conscious decision all these years to commit those harassments against me and others. She just doesn’t have the courage and backbone to stand up for herself and admit it. She’s a sniveling little coward and will just lay all the blame on me and her other sisters for the failure of our reunion. Or blame someone else.

There’s a cute little thing about blame – when you point a finger at someone, look at your hand, you will see your other fingers all pointing back at — YOU!

Stop with the whining, the blaming, the nonsense that “I was adopted, I can’t help myself” bullshit. ‘Cos that’s all it is – BULLSHIT!

And if you’re mentally ill, for god’s sake, take your damn medications so you won’t be a nuisance to other. Because we all have busy lives and we don’t have time for you losers. Maybe you didn’t ask to be mentally ill, and for that, I’m genuinely sorry, just like I feel bad for people with MS, cancer, cystic fibrosis. HOWEVER, my sympathy stops when you make MY life miserable and then turn around gleefully and say, “It’s not my fault – I got PTSD!” – ‘cos I don’t buy that excuse either.

pathetic Joan Wheeler spouts more pathetic garbage from her garbage mouth November 3, 2011

Posted by Ruth in Joan Wheeler Speak - how Joan views the world.
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Joan (as 1adoptee) writes this garbage on the adoptee forum: 
nov 2 1adoptee

I have huge difficulties reading this kind of articles. Despite what I know, I am still aghast and astounded that adoption is seen as something almost sacred (for the a parents). With no regard for the child. I would take the writer to the court of human rights. Adoption is obscene.

Yes, absolutely obscene.

 Ruth here –
Joan – I’m taking YOU to the court of human rights for all the shit you’ve done to ME!
soo what is the address of this court – where is it? I wanna know, ‘cos I’ll be pulling Joan Wheeler in there real fast! – writing a slanderous book that says that I have a criminal and arrest record? – – when I’ve never been arrested in my life? boy Joan, the judge in the court of human rights is going to lock you up! ha ha ha
and speaking of “absolutely obscene” – how about that letter you sent me in February 1999 wherein you inform me that my infertile husband got the next door neighbor pregnant?
Apparently Joan thinks she can trample on MY human rights, but bitch and complain when she “thinks” someone tramples on hers. Wait a minute – did I say Joan “thinks?’ oopsey! that’s a BIG typo – because Joan never thinks. She just opens her mouth and all this garbage comes pouring out.
boy Joan, you just keep tallking trash – and I just keep laughing.
pathetic imbecile.
ps – I see I need to clarify something – it wasn’t Joan who wrote that whole paragraph – that was ‘moonbaby’ – Joan just agreed with moonbaby and said “Yes, absolutely obscene.” – but that still makes her a hypocritical imbecile – she doesn’t like when things are done to HER – and says those things are OBSCENE! But it’s ok for HER to do the shit she’s done to me and my kin the past 30 years! – so I still wanna see her in the court of human rig
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